486 posts tagged with gay.
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Your mind is telling me no... and your mind is telling me yes...

The Situation: A guy whom I felt complicatedly "led me on," and with whom I thought I had begun to come to a resolution, has rapidly returned to strong behaviors that led me to fall for him in the first place. This is upsetting and confusing, as I had made clear that these were what led us into the situation in the first place. I'd love some help and advice as to navigating a conversation with him about boundaries, while balancing complicated feelings of deep connection to this gentleman and the need to respect myself and model such self-respect. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 21 answers

One neat trick to dismiss Kim Davis' asshole bigotry

For some reason my mom decided it would be a great idea to let her married, lesbian daughter know that even though she supports gay marriage, she "sees Kim Davis'" point of view and thinks she should have the right to a religious exemption, or that she should "have the right" to keep her job because "the rules of her job changed". I was shocked in the moment and don't feel like I explained the case well. Now I'm looking for one good, objective resource that will explain this situation better. [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Sep 21, 2015 - 18 answers

Don't be a stranger

Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2015 - 14 answers

I Don't Like You That Way: Love, Sex and Dating On Four Wheels

What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato? [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Which researcher was shocked by gay rams?

I recall reading an article about a researcher of big horn sheep who was shocked by homosexual behavior. Can you link me to this article? [more inside]
posted by jefficator on Aug 4, 2015 - 3 answers

The dirt on Branson

Is Branson, Missouri worth a visit? The visitors in question are gay guys who would be flying in from all over the country. [more inside]
posted by roger ackroyd on Jul 22, 2015 - 21 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Resources for a teacher to handle bullying in her class.

An acquaintance of mine needs resources to help one of her students who is being bullied for being (apparently) LGBTQ. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Promethea on Jun 15, 2015 - 5 answers

Helen Keller on the queers

Did Helen Keller ever express any position for or against homosexual rights? [more inside]
posted by kalapierson on Apr 17, 2015 - 2 answers

Same-Sex Wedding Etiquette: Do We Invite Non-Supportive Parents?

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Apr 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Lesbian-friendly gynecologist in NYC?

Insurance is obviously the issue: A New York-specific Obamacare offering from Aetna. [more inside]
posted by Drohan on Apr 14, 2015 - 4 answers

Is there an adoption registration for disowned gay youth?

I would totally be willing to take in a kid who has been disowned by his/her parents for being LBTG. Is there somewhere I could register for that? Note: I am legally married cisgender woman with three young children of my own. Not being gay myself, there should be no legal obstacles in that regard. I'm just trying to connect with a disowned population.
posted by wwartorff on Apr 4, 2015 - 6 answers

Feminism for Gay Men

As a gay man, I've been having increasing problems with sexual harassment from complete strangers while out at gay bars. When this harassment happens in front of friends, I'm treated like I'm crazy for being upset. What are some clear and direct ways I can communicate my own discomfort and just how inappropriate what happened was - to people who are completely ignorant of feminism and women's issues and have bought into the toxic idea that we should be grateful for any attention we get? [more inside]
posted by C'est la D.C. on Mar 14, 2015 - 14 answers

Gay erotic writing blogs

NSFW. I'm looking for the best gay male erotica, specifically of the genre of someone ostensibly blogging about their sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2015 - 0 answers

Breast Reduction (New Zealand)

I have been contemplating a breast reduction for some time and have now reached the point where I am certain I want to take actual steps toward doing so. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2015 - 2 answers

Condom broke, what next? PEP usage with a partner of unknown status

I'm a late-thirties bi man who's relatively new to having sex with men - like, total partner count under 5. Last night I went home with a guy I sort-of knew, which is not something I've ever done before. The condom broke while I was bottoming and he didn't notice until afterwards. What next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2014 - 17 answers

Gay research paper, ego syntonic/ego dystonic, avowal/disavowal

Trying to track down a research paper involving homosexuality and identity. Or something. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Nov 28, 2014 - 4 answers

What is the probable timeline for same-sex marriage in Georgia?

I want to be legally married to my partner in our home state. I can't figure out when that will probably be possible. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Nov 12, 2014 - 13 answers

Coming Out When You Don't Know the Category You Belong To

Over the past few months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I am about 80% straight and 20% gay, and this NCOD I am thinking of making a video and posting it to Facebook to let my very close friends know. On the one hand this seems like a really rewarding prospect, because I would like to start being more authentic with other people and this is a part of my identity that I want people to know about. It's the specifics I'm not sure how to handle. [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Sep 29, 2014 - 71 answers

How do I enjoy my lavender marriage?

Hi MeFites, I post this anonymously because I don’t want readers to infer anything from my previous posts. I am a gay male in his 40s who married a straight female several years ago. She knew from the onset that I was gay and that I didn't like women, but accepted to marry me because she was in a bad relationship with someone who didn’t want to commit, and desperately wanted to found a family. Although my wife and I never had sex together, we have a son conceived through artificial insemination. She is a wonderful parent and we both love our son. How do I make myself being less bored by the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2014 - 45 answers

Are there vaccinations I should get before I explore my sexuality?

I'm mid 30s, gay, currently working in Adelaide, South Australia (my work takes me all over the globe, so some context). I'm wanting to explore my sexuality, but I am wondering if I should visit a doctor to get some vaccinations for STDs? (I've been reading about HPV on ask.mefi) [more inside]
posted by TrinsicWS on Sep 17, 2014 - 11 answers

Need a good gay friendly therapist in Seattle

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 6 answers

Non-soppy wedding readings for non-heterosexual wedding?

My cousin is marrying his boyfriend and has asked me to speak at his wedding reception. I don't know my cousin but as nearly his only family there I would like to pull this off, preferably by dint of reading a poem. Please help me find the poem. [more inside]
posted by emilyw on Sep 9, 2014 - 30 answers

I want to help, but I want to help me out of this situation more

Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder on Sep 1, 2014 - 25 answers

How do I know when the time is right to propose?

Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Advice for a 25 year old feeling lost?

I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Jul 15, 2014 - 10 answers

I'm PRETTY sure I'm gay. Help me be okay with it.

I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature. I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Jun 26, 2014 - 29 answers

New queer cinema

Which websites, blogs, forums, etc, should I be following to be kept in the loop regarding new releases in international LGBTQ[etc] cinema? [more inside]
posted by Solomon on Apr 5, 2014 - 3 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

What's a good website to follow along with gay marriage progress?

I'd like to know which cases are in court, when, and where. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Feb 26, 2014 - 3 answers

Mechanism of the Arizona "anti-gay bill"?

How does Arizona's SB 1062 work to protect those seeking to discriminate against others based on religious grounds? [more inside]
posted by rocketpup on Feb 24, 2014 - 4 answers

What's it like being gay in high school these days?

Adult gay man here. I wasn't out (publicly) in high school, and nobody else was either. In fact, I remember people still talking about "that one gay guy" who had graduated something like five years before me. I drove to colleges to meet people. What's it like these days? Is it generally no big deal? Is it common to take same-sex dates to events? Does anybody care?
posted by LastOfHisKind on Feb 22, 2014 - 14 answers

We got hitched! Going to see a lawyer for a will. What to ask?

A week ago today, my sweetheart and I got (gay) married in Utah! We're thrilled. We're going to see a lawyer familiar with gay rights issues that our friend recommended in the new year so we can draw up wills, etc. Here's the question: what is the etc? And any tips for input on wills? [more inside]
posted by timpanogos on Dec 27, 2013 - 7 answers

What unnamed theme do Top Gun, Batman & Robin, and 300 share in common?

What are your favorite unintentionally gay movies? [more inside]
posted by Mike Mongo on Dec 24, 2013 - 47 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

Gay travel in India: bad idea?

So the Indian Supreme Court has made gay sex illegal in India again, punishable by up to life imprisonment. Western governments are duly amending their travel warnings. But is there any realistic threat to gay foreigners? [more inside]
posted by dontjumplarry on Dec 13, 2013 - 9 answers

Should I have casual gay sex?

I’m a 28 year old gay guy. Up until recently I had never considered the idea of having casual sex until now. Should I and if so how? [more inside]
posted by lifeliver7 on Nov 29, 2013 - 15 answers

What are some good books on the history of LGBT rights movement?

I really want to find out more about the history and progress of LGBT rights. Namely, early forms and social codes to express homosexuality, the civil rights movements and how psychology viewed before and now, and what led to finally removing homosexuality as a disorder from the DSM. [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Nov 19, 2013 - 13 answers

Gay story from the 70s - 80s about a body part changing color.

Does anyone remember a story from the 70s or 80s about one day when every gay person woke up and their noses (ears?) had turned purple (blue, green?)? It was basically an illustration of Harvey Milk's call for all gay people to come out because if everyone was out, straight people would realize we were everywhere. It may have been a short story, a children's book, or a short film. I was a manuscript reviewer for Alyson Books in the mid-80s, so it might have been something I read then. [more inside]
posted by hworth on Nov 18, 2013 - 6 answers

Need help finding a doctor to talk about PrEP.

I'm a 35-year-old, gay male (in Silicon Valley) who is looking to jump back into the dating pool after a long absence. A bit after reading this post on Truvada for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) I thought I might be a candidate for it. I talked to my primary care doctor and although he though it as worth looking into, he didn't have any experience with Truvada and referred me to an infectious disease specialist. Unfortunately my experience with the specialist wasn't great; I felt like he dismissed the idea of PrEP almost out of hand and without really discussing my concerns or possible HIV risk factors. ... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Where should I live?

Looking for a home in a gay marriage state. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 14, 2013 - 50 answers

Looking for an amazingly campy dance sequence from an old movie.

I saw an old clip on cable a while back and can't find it again. It featured what I think was a young Buddy Ebsen, though it could have been another actor who was later famous as an older man. The clip was in black and white, I believe the principal dancers were in sailor suits, and the song was something like "keep it gay" or "make it gay" but it was definitely not the song/dance sequence from The Producers. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
posted by bink on Oct 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Help me find the name of this poem!

I woke up this morning thinking about a poem that I really liked in high school about a close friendship between two boys. I remember bits of it, but not enough for Google to help to identify the poem! Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ocellar on Oct 8, 2013 - 2 answers

Self-help books that will help me make peace with being single?

I'm tired of feeling bitter about being single. Are there any self-help books that will help me get over this? [more inside]
posted by tumbleweedjack on Oct 7, 2013 - 11 answers

It gets better. It really does, right?

A friend's 13 yo son has been having serious mental and behavioral problems and they haven't fully figured out why. They discovered by accident (shared electronics) that he is now identifying as bi and has expressed romantic interest in another guy his age. I'm also queer but I'm not a parent (and I grew up before the internet gave me access to Dan Savage, in a very different cultural climate). I totally know how hard it is to be a GLBTQ teenager and want to help them alleviate as much of the sexual identity stress on him as possible/appropriate. What do you feel are the best resources or advice for a parent of a gay teenager with mental health issues? [more inside]
posted by sweltering on Oct 3, 2013 - 11 answers

Just how selective was Selective Service, anyway?

Question for gay men who are about my age (40 years, give or take). Were you still required to sign up for Selective Service when you were in high school? They've always made a big deal about how you (meaning college age males) have to be signed up to get student loans and such. But of course, up until "Don't ask, don't tell" got the ball slowly rolling for gays to openly serve, you'd have been required to sign up to be potentially drafted into an army you couldn't serve in, right?
posted by themanwho on Sep 24, 2013 - 14 answers

How to get Emory to Rescind Award to Anti-gay Activist?

Emory University is planning to give a distinguished alumni award to H. Eddie Fox, who has been leading the fight against the inclusion and equality of gay Methodists in the Methodist Church (among other accomplishments). Students/staff/faculty are currently mobilizing to have that award rescinded. We have less than a week left. What is the most effective way to pressure Emory to rescind that award? [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Sep 22, 2013 - 6 answers

Disco Karaoke for Square Dance calling!

I'm trying to learn square dance calling. Friend is doing a disco themed fundraiser, and would like me to call a demo square. I need a ~130BPM singable without a super-trained voice karaoke track that's disco, but not over-played. [more inside]
posted by straw on Sep 10, 2013 - 7 answers

Mexico City recommendations: cool 'hood, what to do, etc

I'm going to Mexico City in late October and have a bunch of questions! [more inside]
posted by TheGoodBlood on Aug 22, 2013 - 1 answer

A Gentle Man, Not a Girly Man

I'm a bisexual man looking to date bisexual and gay men. In the "what I'm looking for" section of my dating profile, I'm trying to describe the sort of man I'm attracted to, and I need some help. [more inside]
posted by user c on Aug 15, 2013 - 23 answers

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