I'm a late-thirties bi man who's relatively new to having sex with men - like, total partner count under 5. Last night I went home with a guy I sort-of knew, which is not something I've ever done before. The condom broke while I was bottoming and he didn't notice until afterwards. What next? [more inside]
Trying to track down a research paper involving homosexuality and identity. Or something. [more inside]
I want to be legally married to my partner in our home state. I can't figure out when that will probably be possible. [more inside]
Over the past few months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I am about 80% straight and 20% gay, and this NCOD I am thinking of making a video and posting it to Facebook to let my very close friends know. On the one hand this seems like a really rewarding prospect, because I would like to start being more authentic with other people and this is a part of my identity that I want people to know about. It's the specifics I'm not sure how to handle. [more inside]
Hi MeFites, I post this anonymously because I don’t want readers to infer anything from my previous posts. I am a gay male in his 40s who married a straight female several years ago. She knew from the onset that I was gay and that I didn't like women, but accepted to marry me because she was in a bad relationship with someone who didn’t want to commit, and desperately wanted to found a family. Although my wife and I never had sex together, we have a son conceived through artificial insemination. She is a wonderful parent and we both love our son. How do I make myself being less bored by the situation? [more inside]
I'm mid 30s, gay, currently working in Adelaide, South Australia (my work takes me all over the globe, so some context). I'm wanting to explore my sexuality, but I am wondering if I should visit a doctor to get some vaccinations for STDs? (I've been reading about HPV on ask.mefi) [more inside]
I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
My cousin is marrying his boyfriend and has asked me to speak at his wedding reception. I don't know my cousin but as nearly his only family there I would like to pull this off, preferably by dint of reading a poem. Please help me find the poem. [more inside]
Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature. I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
Which websites, blogs, forums, etc, should I be following to be kept in the loop regarding new releases in international LGBTQ[etc] cinema? [more inside]
What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
I'd like to know which cases are in court, when, and where. [more inside]
How does Arizona's SB 1062 work to protect those seeking to discriminate against others based on religious grounds? [more inside]
Adult gay man here. I wasn't out (publicly) in high school, and nobody else was either. In fact, I remember people still talking about "that one gay guy" who had graduated something like five years before me. I drove to colleges to meet people. What's it like these days? Is it generally no big deal? Is it common to take same-sex dates to events? Does anybody care?
A week ago today, my sweetheart and I got (gay) married in Utah! We're thrilled. We're going to see a lawyer familiar with gay rights issues that our friend recommended in the new year so we can draw up wills, etc. Here's the question: what is the etc? And any tips for input on wills? [more inside]
What are your favorite unintentionally gay movies? [more inside]
I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
So the Indian Supreme Court has made gay sex illegal in India again, punishable by up to life imprisonment. Western governments are duly amending their travel warnings. But is there any realistic threat to gay foreigners? [more inside]
I’m a 28 year old gay guy. Up until recently I had never considered the idea of having casual sex until now. Should I and if so how? [more inside]
I really want to find out more about the history and progress of LGBT rights. Namely, early forms and social codes to express homosexuality, the civil rights movements and how psychology viewed before and now, and what led to finally removing homosexuality as a disorder from the DSM. [more inside]
Does anyone remember a story from the 70s or 80s about one day when every gay person woke up and their noses (ears?) had turned purple (blue, green?)? It was basically an illustration of Harvey Milk's call for all gay people to come out because if everyone was out, straight people would realize we were everywhere. It may have been a short story, a children's book, or a short film. I was a manuscript reviewer for Alyson Books in the mid-80s, so it might have been something I read then. [more inside]
I'm a 35-year-old, gay male (in Silicon Valley) who is looking to jump back into the dating pool after a long absence. A bit after reading this post on Truvada for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) I thought I might be a candidate for it. I talked to my primary care doctor and although he though it as worth looking into, he didn't have any experience with Truvada and referred me to an infectious disease specialist. Unfortunately my experience with the specialist wasn't great; I felt like he dismissed the idea of PrEP almost out of hand and without really discussing my concerns or possible HIV risk factors. ... [more inside]
Looking for a home in a gay marriage state. [more inside]
I saw an old clip on cable a while back and can't find it again. It featured what I think was a young Buddy Ebsen, though it could have been another actor who was later famous as an older man. The clip was in black and white, I believe the principal dancers were in sailor suits, and the song was something like "keep it gay" or "make it gay" but it was definitely not the song/dance sequence from The Producers. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
I woke up this morning thinking about a poem that I really liked in high school about a close friendship between two boys. I remember bits of it, but not enough for Google to help to identify the poem! Details inside. [more inside]
I'm tired of feeling bitter about being single. Are there any self-help books that will help me get over this? [more inside]
A friend's 13 yo son has been having serious mental and behavioral problems and they haven't fully figured out why. They discovered by accident (shared electronics) that he is now identifying as bi and has expressed romantic interest in another guy his age. I'm also queer but I'm not a parent (and I grew up before the internet gave me access to Dan Savage, in a very different cultural climate). I totally know how hard it is to be a GLBTQ teenager and want to help them alleviate as much of the sexual identity stress on him as possible/appropriate. What do you feel are the best resources or advice for a parent of a gay teenager with mental health issues? [more inside]
Question for gay men who are about my age (40 years, give or take). Were you still required to sign up for Selective Service when you were in high school? They've always made a big deal about how you (meaning college age males) have to be signed up to get student loans and such. But of course, up until "Don't ask, don't tell" got the ball slowly rolling for gays to openly serve, you'd have been required to sign up to be potentially drafted into an army you couldn't serve in, right?
Emory University is planning to give a distinguished alumni award to H. Eddie Fox, who has been leading the fight against the inclusion and equality of gay Methodists in the Methodist Church (among other accomplishments). Students/staff/faculty are currently mobilizing to have that award rescinded. We have less than a week left. What is the most effective way to pressure Emory to rescind that award? [more inside]
I'm trying to learn square dance calling. Friend is doing a disco themed fundraiser, and would like me to call a demo square. I need a ~130BPM singable without a super-trained voice karaoke track that's disco, but not over-played. [more inside]
I'm going to Mexico City in late October and have a bunch of questions! [more inside]
I'm a bisexual man looking to date bisexual and gay men. In the "what I'm looking for" section of my dating profile, I'm trying to describe the sort of man I'm attracted to, and I need some help. [more inside]
My boyfriend was raped as a kid, and recently told me that he used to believe he was gay before he met me. I don't know how to handle this. [more inside]
I'm studying abroad this fall in Barcelona with pretty workable Spanish but very limited Catalan, and I'd love to do some work/activism/volunteering/organizing around queer or related issues (HIV/AIDS, youth development, homelessness, etc.) while I'm there. Is this possible given my language limitations? [more inside]
Posting for a friend. He remembers a song from a music video he saw on Logo many years ago back when they were still airing music videos. It's by a gay female artist, and the lyrics describe an old woman who falls down in her home and lies there for three days. There is a line about her never having noticed how beautiful the wallpaper was before. Other than that, all he remembers is that it's a beautiful song. Anyone have any ideas what it could be?
What is the value in pushing non-Russian cities to drop their sister/twin relationships with Russian cities to protest the anti-gay laws and attitudes in Russia? This article from Radio Free Europe offers a summery of the issue, "Sister Cities Ramp Up Russia Boycott Over Antigay Law". [more inside]
I have heard rumor that the early Christian gnostics may have tolerated or even celebrated homosexuality. Does that seem probably to you? Is there any evidence for this in ancient sources? Does gay sex seem compatible with their thinking generally? Are there any books or articles on this topic?
What are examples of colleges that are doing new or innovative things in addressing HIV? I am most interested in approaches directed at men who have sex with men, but any general approaches about HIV that are directed at everyone or at other high risk populations would also be helpful. [more inside]
Moving to a gay-free zone (OK maybe I'm exaggerating a little) after finishing university. I strongly suspect I'm gonna miss all my 'mos. Can I get some suggestions for some online gay communities I could join? I'm not talking about sites for activism/politics or hookups, more like a place to vote for my favorite underwear brands and for intercourse about which sex toys to get. Gay blogs/publications are also welcome, although I'm primarily looking for something more like a forum.
I have a yoga fundraiser tomorrow at 5pm that I want something gay pride-ish for (like a t-shirt or yoga pants). I have a lot of gay friends that I could borrow a t-shirt from but I am traveling tomorrow so would be unable to meet up with anyone (and will be unable to shop tomorrow or get anything online by then). I have no rainbow stuff. I am in Center City Philadelphia. I will be checking Athleta, Lululemon, City Sports, Gap, etc for rainbow stuff, but I'd prefer something that expressly (like words) supports equality. All Google really tells me is gay-friendly stuff, gay reading (e.g. Giovanni's), etc. Does anyone know if any of those places would have slogan/pride t-shirts? Am I missing a HRC location or something else that would have something?
I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
I'm a 23 year old recent college grad who has yet to go on his first date, let alone sleep with someone. All my life I was panned as some asexual anomaly and so the societal pressure to date that haunts so many other people well before their 16th birthday never really got to me. That is, until recently. I'm a reasonably good looking and witty guy, and yet, in 2013, it's way harder than it ought to be to find someone that's okay, on a fundamental level, with dating someone in a wheelchair. It doesn't help that a) I'm bisexual and b) have an issue with my speech where I will tend to block up/ get spastic. It's usually, though I can't say exclusively, an issue when I need to face the anxiety of meeting someone new. [more inside]
Most of the slash fanfic I read is probably written by 14-year-old girls. Please direct me to the real stuff written by real gay men, so that I may develop snobbish taste in yet another one of my pastimes. [more inside]
I'm a lesbian who's recently found herself crushing on a man. Does this mean anything? [more inside]
I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what? Yes, I know it seems unlikely, and the nearest I can figure is my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired, rather than finding someone hot in advance. I was married for a very long time, and possibly oblivious to any gay come-ons, in my premarital time. For the sake of the information I seek, can we please assume that I am correct - that I am bi, and that this wasn't just experimental? (which has been suggested to me by a straight friend). [more inside]
In the late 1990's on the Oprah Winfrey show, there was a brief piece on a song that reached the low end of the R&B charts. Sonically it was pretty traditional soul music, but the twist was that it was a cheating song, but the female singer catches her man cheating with another man, named "Bill," which was the title of the song, IIRC. If anyone can provide me with the singers name that'd be great. Bonus points for an mp3 or youtube link.
Is there any biological evidence for the assertion that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality? Or is this imbalance more likely due to cultural factors? [more inside]