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Are there vaccinations I should get before I explore my sexuality?

I'm mid 30s, gay, currently working in Adelaide, South Australia (my work takes me all over the globe, so some context). I'm wanting to explore my sexuality, but I am wondering if I should visit a doctor to get some vaccinations for STDs? (I've been reading about HPV on ask.mefi) [more inside]
posted by TrinsicWS on Sep 17, 2014 - 11 answers

Need a good gay friendly therapist in Seattle

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 6 answers

Non-soppy wedding readings for non-heterosexual wedding?

My cousin is marrying his boyfriend and has asked me to speak at his wedding reception. I don't know my cousin but as nearly his only family there I would like to pull this off, preferably by dint of reading a poem. Please help me find the poem. [more inside]
posted by emilyw on Sep 9, 2014 - 30 answers

I want to help, but I want to help me out of this situation more

Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder on Sep 1, 2014 - 25 answers

How do I know when the time is right to propose?

Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Advice for a 25 year old feeling lost?

I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Jul 15, 2014 - 10 answers

I'm PRETTY sure I'm gay. Help me be okay with it.

I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature. I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Jun 26, 2014 - 29 answers

New queer cinema

Which websites, blogs, forums, etc, should I be following to be kept in the loop regarding new releases in international LGBTQ[etc] cinema? [more inside]
posted by Solomon on Apr 5, 2014 - 3 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

What's a good website to follow along with gay marriage progress?

I'd like to know which cases are in court, when, and where. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Feb 26, 2014 - 3 answers

Mechanism of the Arizona "anti-gay bill"?

How does Arizona's SB 1062 work to protect those seeking to discriminate against others based on religious grounds? [more inside]
posted by rocketpup on Feb 24, 2014 - 4 answers

What's it like being gay in high school these days?

Adult gay man here. I wasn't out (publicly) in high school, and nobody else was either. In fact, I remember people still talking about "that one gay guy" who had graduated something like five years before me. I drove to colleges to meet people. What's it like these days? Is it generally no big deal? Is it common to take same-sex dates to events? Does anybody care?
posted by LastOfHisKind on Feb 22, 2014 - 14 answers

We got hitched! Going to see a lawyer for a will. What to ask?

A week ago today, my sweetheart and I got (gay) married in Utah! We're thrilled. We're going to see a lawyer familiar with gay rights issues that our friend recommended in the new year so we can draw up wills, etc. Here's the question: what is the etc? And any tips for input on wills? [more inside]
posted by timpanogos on Dec 27, 2013 - 7 answers

What unnamed theme do Top Gun, Batman & Robin, and 300 share in common?

What are your favorite unintentionally gay movies? [more inside]
posted by Mike Mongo on Dec 24, 2013 - 47 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

Gay travel in India: bad idea?

So the Indian Supreme Court has made gay sex illegal in India again, punishable by up to life imprisonment. Western governments are duly amending their travel warnings. But is there any realistic threat to gay foreigners? [more inside]
posted by dontjumplarry on Dec 13, 2013 - 9 answers

Should I have casual gay sex?

I’m a 28 year old gay guy. Up until recently I had never considered the idea of having casual sex until now. Should I and if so how? [more inside]
posted by lifeliver7 on Nov 29, 2013 - 15 answers

What are some good books on the history of LGBT rights movement?

I really want to find out more about the history and progress of LGBT rights. Namely, early forms and social codes to express homosexuality, the civil rights movements and how psychology viewed before and now, and what led to finally removing homosexuality as a disorder from the DSM. [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Nov 19, 2013 - 13 answers

Gay story from the 70s - 80s about a body part changing color.

Does anyone remember a story from the 70s or 80s about one day when every gay person woke up and their noses (ears?) had turned purple (blue, green?)? It was basically an illustration of Harvey Milk's call for all gay people to come out because if everyone was out, straight people would realize we were everywhere. It may have been a short story, a children's book, or a short film. I was a manuscript reviewer for Alyson Books in the mid-80s, so it might have been something I read then. [more inside]
posted by hworth on Nov 18, 2013 - 6 answers

Need help finding a doctor to talk about PrEP.

I'm a 35-year-old, gay male (in Silicon Valley) who is looking to jump back into the dating pool after a long absence. A bit after reading this post on Truvada for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) I thought I might be a candidate for it. I talked to my primary care doctor and although he though it as worth looking into, he didn't have any experience with Truvada and referred me to an infectious disease specialist. Unfortunately my experience with the specialist wasn't great; I felt like he dismissed the idea of PrEP almost out of hand and without really discussing my concerns or possible HIV risk factors. ... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Where should I live?

Looking for a home in a gay marriage state. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 14, 2013 - 50 answers

Looking for an amazingly campy dance sequence from an old movie.

I saw an old clip on cable a while back and can't find it again. It featured what I think was a young Buddy Ebsen, though it could have been another actor who was later famous as an older man. The clip was in black and white, I believe the principal dancers were in sailor suits, and the song was something like "keep it gay" or "make it gay" but it was definitely not the song/dance sequence from The Producers. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
posted by bink on Oct 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Help me find the name of this poem!

I woke up this morning thinking about a poem that I really liked in high school about a close friendship between two boys. I remember bits of it, but not enough for Google to help to identify the poem! Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ocellar on Oct 8, 2013 - 2 answers

Self-help books that will help me make peace with being single?

I'm tired of feeling bitter about being single. Are there any self-help books that will help me get over this? [more inside]
posted by tumbleweedjack on Oct 7, 2013 - 11 answers

It gets better. It really does, right?

A friend's 13 yo son has been having serious mental and behavioral problems and they haven't fully figured out why. They discovered by accident (shared electronics) that he is now identifying as bi and has expressed romantic interest in another guy his age. I'm also queer but I'm not a parent (and I grew up before the internet gave me access to Dan Savage, in a very different cultural climate). I totally know how hard it is to be a GLBTQ teenager and want to help them alleviate as much of the sexual identity stress on him as possible/appropriate. What do you feel are the best resources or advice for a parent of a gay teenager with mental health issues? [more inside]
posted by sweltering on Oct 3, 2013 - 11 answers

Just how selective was Selective Service, anyway?

Question for gay men who are about my age (40 years, give or take). Were you still required to sign up for Selective Service when you were in high school? They've always made a big deal about how you (meaning college age males) have to be signed up to get student loans and such. But of course, up until "Don't ask, don't tell" got the ball slowly rolling for gays to openly serve, you'd have been required to sign up to be potentially drafted into an army you couldn't serve in, right?
posted by themanwho on Sep 24, 2013 - 14 answers

How to get Emory to Rescind Award to Anti-gay Activist?

Emory University is planning to give a distinguished alumni award to H. Eddie Fox, who has been leading the fight against the inclusion and equality of gay Methodists in the Methodist Church (among other accomplishments). Students/staff/faculty are currently mobilizing to have that award rescinded. We have less than a week left. What is the most effective way to pressure Emory to rescind that award? [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Sep 22, 2013 - 6 answers

Disco Karaoke for Square Dance calling!

I'm trying to learn square dance calling. Friend is doing a disco themed fundraiser, and would like me to call a demo square. I need a ~130BPM singable without a super-trained voice karaoke track that's disco, but not over-played. [more inside]
posted by straw on Sep 10, 2013 - 7 answers

Mexico City recommendations: cool 'hood, what to do, etc

I'm going to Mexico City in late October and have a bunch of questions! [more inside]
posted by TheGoodBlood on Aug 22, 2013 - 1 answer

A Gentle Man, Not a Girly Man

I'm a bisexual man looking to date bisexual and gay men. In the "what I'm looking for" section of my dating profile, I'm trying to describe the sort of man I'm attracted to, and I need some help. [more inside]
posted by user c on Aug 15, 2013 - 23 answers

Is my boyfriend gay?

My boyfriend was raped as a kid, and recently told me that he used to believe he was gay before he met me. I don't know how to handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2013 - 25 answers

LGBTQ+ activism/volunteering while studying abroad in Barcelona?

I'm studying abroad this fall in Barcelona with pretty workable Spanish but very limited Catalan, and I'd love to do some work/activism/volunteering/organizing around queer or related issues (HIV/AIDS, youth development, homelessness, etc.) while I'm there. Is this possible given my language limitations? [more inside]
posted by kylej on Jul 29, 2013 - 4 answers

Need help identifying a song.

Posting for a friend. He remembers a song from a music video he saw on Logo many years ago back when they were still airing music videos. It's by a gay female artist, and the lyrics describe an old woman who falls down in her home and lies there for three days. There is a line about her never having noticed how beautiful the wallpaper was before. Other than that, all he remembers is that it's a beautiful song. Anyone have any ideas what it could be?
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! on Jul 28, 2013 - 0 answers

Should people work to end sister city relationships with Russia?

What is the value in pushing non-Russian cities to drop their sister/twin relationships with Russian cities to protest the anti-gay laws and attitudes in Russia? This article from Radio Free Europe offers a summery of the issue, "Sister Cities Ramp Up Russia Boycott Over Antigay Law". [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Jul 25, 2013 - 14 answers

Did gnostics tolerate or celebrate homosexuality?

I have heard rumor that the early Christian gnostics may have tolerated or even celebrated homosexuality. Does that seem probably to you? Is there any evidence for this in ancient sources? Does gay sex seem compatible with their thinking generally? Are there any books or articles on this topic?
posted by mortaddams on Jul 1, 2013 - 8 answers

What are colleges doing about HIV other than "get tested/use condoms"?

What are examples of colleges that are doing new or innovative things in addressing HIV? I am most interested in approaches directed at men who have sex with men, but any general approaches about HIV that are directed at everyone or at other high risk populations would also be helpful. [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Jun 19, 2013 - 3 answers

Online gay communities

Moving to a gay-free zone (OK maybe I'm exaggerating a little) after finishing university. I strongly suspect I'm gonna miss all my 'mos. Can I get some suggestions for some online gay communities I could join? I'm not talking about sites for activism/politics or hookups, more like a place to vote for my favorite underwear brands and for intercourse about which sex toys to get. Gay blogs/publications are also welcome, although I'm primarily looking for something more like a forum.
posted by Strass on Jun 17, 2013 - 5 answers

Need pride yoga gear in Philadelphia today

I have a yoga fundraiser tomorrow at 5pm that I want something gay pride-ish for (like a t-shirt or yoga pants). I have a lot of gay friends that I could borrow a t-shirt from but I am traveling tomorrow so would be unable to meet up with anyone (and will be unable to shop tomorrow or get anything online by then). I have no rainbow stuff. I am in Center City Philadelphia. I will be checking Athleta, Lululemon, City Sports, Gap, etc for rainbow stuff, but I'd prefer something that expressly (like words) supports equality. All Google really tells me is gay-friendly stuff, gay reading (e.g. Giovanni's), etc. Does anyone know if any of those places would have slogan/pride t-shirts? Am I missing a HRC location or something else that would have something?
posted by Pax on Jun 6, 2013 - 4 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

Disabled dating

I'm a 23 year old recent college grad who has yet to go on his first date, let alone sleep with someone. All my life I was panned as some asexual anomaly and so the societal pressure to date that haunts so many other people well before their 16th birthday never really got to me. That is, until recently. I'm a reasonably good looking and witty guy, and yet, in 2013, it's way harder than it ought to be to find someone that's okay, on a fundamental level, with dating someone in a wheelchair. It doesn't help that a) I'm bisexual and b) have an issue with my speech where I will tend to block up/ get spastic. It's usually, though I can't say exclusively, an issue when I need to face the anxiety of meeting someone new. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on May 30, 2013 - 17 answers

Gay erotica/romances written by actual gay men? (NSFW)

Most of the slash fanfic I read is probably written by 14-year-old girls. Please direct me to the real stuff written by real gay men, so that I may develop snobbish taste in yet another one of my pastimes. [more inside]
posted by Jacqueline on May 28, 2013 - 21 answers

I'm a lesbian crushing on a man. What now?

I'm a lesbian who's recently found herself crushing on a man. Does this mean anything? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on May 11, 2013 - 57 answers

I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what?

I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what? Yes, I know it seems unlikely, and the nearest I can figure is my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired, rather than finding someone hot in advance. I was married for a very long time, and possibly oblivious to any gay come-ons, in my premarital time. For the sake of the information I seek, can we please assume that I am correct - that I am bi, and that this wasn't just experimental? (which has been suggested to me by a straight friend). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2013 - 23 answers

It was Biiiilllll...

In the late 1990's on the Oprah Winfrey show, there was a brief piece on a song that reached the low end of the R&B charts. Sonically it was pretty traditional soul music, but the twist was that it was a cheating song, but the female singer catches her man cheating with another man, named "Bill," which was the title of the song, IIRC. If anyone can provide me with the singers name that'd be great. Bonus points for an mp3 or youtube link.
posted by jonmc on Apr 25, 2013 - 2 answers

I call BS (but I could be wrong)

Is there any biological evidence for the assertion that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality? Or is this imbalance more likely due to cultural factors? [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Apr 22, 2013 - 17 answers

I want to go to Belize but I'm gay.

So Belize has some pretty backwards laws regarding gays and who can and cannot enter their country. Is this something that we should *actually* to worry about? Or, what are some alternate travel destinations we should be considering? [more inside]
posted by wats on Apr 18, 2013 - 16 answers

Examples of gay stereotypes in television and film over the years in.

Currently working on a project that explores gay stereotypes (and tropes) in American TV and Film along with their effects on society over time. [more inside]
posted by poolsidemuse on Apr 3, 2013 - 62 answers

Family Drama -- Aunt revisited

I wrote this question about my Aunt. As it turned out, I just wrote back a very polite reply -- "thank you for your good wishes" ...I was polite. I felt good about this. Thank you for all the helpful answers. My Aunt wrote me again -- long story inside. Thank you for taking the time to read it. [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Mar 26, 2013 - 26 answers

What can I expect from a gay rodeo?

I'm planning on being in Denver at the same time as the annual gay rodeo there (Rocky Mountain Regional Rodeo). I'm wondering what to expect from the event and whether it's worth taking the time and effort to attend. Looks like gay cowboys have better things to do with their time than create pretty websites for tourists so can you help me figure it out please? [more inside]
posted by londonmark on Mar 25, 2013 - 7 answers

Still scared about stupid sex

How to deal with intense anxiety from stupid and risky sexual decisions in the (pretty) distant past? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2013 - 27 answers

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