Next month, my siblings and I will have an interment ceremony when our parents' ashes will be placed in a vault. The vault is on the grounds of the Methodist church they attended and the minister of the church will preside over the ceremony. As none of us are churchgoers, we're in the dark as to the etiquette involved: whether and how much to pay the minister for his services and the mechanics of such a transaction. Cash? Check? Payable to him or the church? Amount? Any guidance appreciated.
Yes, I know it’s always nice to go as a gesture of support, but how important is it really, in this scenario? [more inside]
I'll be meeting the family of a close friend for the first time at his visitation and funeral. This seems awkward — more awkward than funerals usually are. How best to handle it? [more inside]
Should I, a non-Muslim woman, wear a hijab to a Muslim burial? What else do I need to know to avoid offending anyone there? [more inside]
Usually I think of sending flowers when I won't be able to attend a funeral. I will be attending one this week, for a pretty close relative, and another relative asked me to go in on some flowers. Is it customary to send flowers even if you're attending? This is in the US.
My grandfather is likely to die within the next few months. I am trying to figure out how, when it comes to that point, to inform people of the time of the funeral and the shiva, because I do not want to have to think about this when he dies. I do not want to phone or text anyone except two or three of my close friends. How do I inform other people? [more inside]
After a slow, sad decline over the past decade, one of my best friend's much beloved grandmother has passed away. While I never met her ouma in person my friend has often shared stories of her life, the things she had taught her and more recently the sorrow of her drawn out illness and her fears for the future as it became clear she didn't have very long left in this world. My question is: is it appropriate for me to attend the funeral service this coming week? [more inside]
In a few days I will be attending my grandmother's funeral in the south. While I love her very much, we were never particularly close. Based on my past experiences with these situations, I know myself well enough to know that I most likely won't be crying or even really upset at this funeral. Please help me prepare so I don't seem callous or further upset my grieving family. [more inside]
Introvert needs help with social niceties at a funeral. [more inside]
Do you go to the wake or the funeral? [more inside]
Is it appropriate to bring my 3-month old to a wake? [more inside]
I've recently learned that someone I used to know from when we were both much younger, has died. I knew him only in the context of church and we'd pal around on those Sundays, but we hadn't spoken in years. It's been suggested to me, by my parents, who still attend the church (I don't), that I might play some music at the wake, since I'm a violinist. But it seems to me this might be inappropriate for a few reasons. [more inside]
Should I attend a co-workers wife's funeral? [more inside]
I'm attending a Catholic funeral in a couple of days. I'm not Catholic. I know that I shouldn't take communion or recite the Nicene Creed, but what about the rest of the service? Do I stand and kneel when everybody else does, or do I stay seated? What's the proper etiquette for the whole affair?