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Friendships after relationships

I'm trying to figure out the best way to understand and handle the relationship between myself and a good friend who is also my ex. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by jlibera on Feb 4, 2013 - 20 answers

Accidental polyamory: is this how it's supposed to work?

Should I be worried about the direction my casual relationship with a married guy is heading in? If so, how do I tactfully deal with it? [more inside]
posted by houndsoflove on Feb 4, 2013 - 36 answers

Friendship and hospitality norms with Russian/Jewish/Israeli couple?

My North American husband and I are at the beginning of a friendship with a couple who have kids at the same daycare as we do. We live in Canada. They moved to Canada 1.5 years ago and were born in the Ukraine/Soviet Union, moved to Israel at early ages where they lived for about 18 years and subsequently moved here. I am having trouble understanding how to build this friendship, partly, I think, because of cultural differences. [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Feb 2, 2013 - 16 answers

What movie did I see?

I saw a movie an indie movie a few years ago and I can only recall certain details. I'd like to know what the title is. [more inside]
posted by davebush on Feb 1, 2013 - 3 answers

Please help this introvert make new friends!

I have been an introvert for as long as I can remember. I do have a few good friends that I enjoy talking to, but usually they were the ones who befriended me, instead of the other way around. Now, because of changes of circumstances in my life, I would like to bring more new people into my life, more actively this time. Dear hive mind, please give me some tips on how I can do it. [more inside]
posted by clair-obscur on Jan 28, 2013 - 8 answers

How can I be supportive to a friend under these weird circumstances?

I'm a woman, my friend is a guy, both 30-something. We work together, and recently started having music jam sessions that have gone really well. He's been contacting me a lot, and we've opened up to each other about stuff. It's all been platonic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2013 - 13 answers

It's like having an obnoxious in-law, but not.

My friend and his wife are visiting later this year. I enjoy my friend's company very much, but being around his wife for more than a day or two drives me nuts. Help me find some way to mitigate this without damaging our friendship in the process. [more inside]
posted by Broseph on Jan 14, 2013 - 19 answers

How to salvage a friendship and is it worth it?

How do you salvage a friendship when you feel need to talk to someone but feel like there's no point as when you've asked to talk to that person about the pain they've caused you they've said they need space. Then when you try to express yourself via email (yes I know it should never be done) they respond with a vitrolic email. Or is it worth trying to salvage the firendship? [more inside]
posted by Ranting Prophet of DOOM! on Jan 11, 2013 - 21 answers

How can I help my friend get help for suspected mental illness?

I'm sure that my friend (who lives cross-country) is dealing with un-diagnosed untreated mental illness. I'm 99% sure it's bipolar disorder, based on lots of information and evidence. I don't want this thread to be about diagnosing, but rather about how to help (I think we can agree that the steps I should take to help would be largely the same regardless of what he's grappling with, right?). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2013 - 7 answers

Ugh...friend, more than a friend, not a friend? So confused!

My best friend and I keep having drama in our friendship because of feelings. I had feelings for him, but he says he just wanted to stay friends. I told him I needed space to get rid of my feelings so we can stay friends. But he won't let me. He keeps bringing me back into his life. Even when he said he was starting a relationship with someone else. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by impactsmoothie on Jan 9, 2013 - 55 answers

Should we invite this jerk to our wedding?

Our maid of honor slept with a friend and he treated her badly. He is now in a serious relationship with another old friend. Can we invite her and not him without hurting the friendship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2013 - 56 answers

It's okay, you can tell me I'm too needy.

Communication expectations in a friendship - what is reasonable to ask of a best friend? [more inside]
posted by sunshine37 on Jan 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Weird female friend territory. Help!

I'm a married female. My female friend has admitted to having feelings for me and continually makes subtle comments. What to do? [more inside]
posted by shiggins on Jan 3, 2013 - 44 answers

please help me be a nice guy and still get the girl

Can the hive mind confirm that men need a dark side to seduce women ? I’m a nice guy and I’ve not been lucky in love. Have I not been lucky in love because I’m a nice guy ? [more inside]
posted by Baud on Jan 2, 2013 - 66 answers

Don't go, but don't stay.

I'm obsessed with my friend? (snowflake details inside). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2012 - 13 answers

...Why am I so antisocial?

Is it wrong for me to not want any friends, or will it destroy me in the long run? [more inside]
posted by orchidgenes on Dec 27, 2012 - 21 answers

Blogging for IRL friends?

Have you deliberately used your personal blog(s) to make IRL friends completely outside your social circle? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Dec 18, 2012 - 9 answers

oversharers wanted

Where can i seek out people who are into oversharing and instant intimacy? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Dec 14, 2012 - 37 answers

Bye-bye ex-friend, please.

How to end a friendship as painlessly as possible? (online snowflake-y version) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2012 - 13 answers

Frienddate? But I just want to kiss your face. :(

I have a second date coming up this weekend. I think. The guy seems to like me in some way, but there is an odd vibe with the friend vs. date signals and I have no idea how to proceed. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by houndsoflove on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

Friendship is Magic

How do I tell my instructor that I would like to see him socially after the class is over without sounding like a stalker? You would think being direct would be the simple answer, but I am feeling socially awkward about the whole thing and need some advice. [more inside]
posted by evilcupcakes on Dec 7, 2012 - 20 answers

How Do We Meet New People?

Wife and I just moved near Centennial, CO and are wanting to meet new people our age. The thing is, she is 29 and I am 38, no children...People I work with are families or older who want to do kid stuff with other couples. We both like movies, games, books, are easy to please and are easy to get along with...don't have a lot of money for high end stuff but would be nice to just get to know some folks. Any thoughts?
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2012 - 9 answers

History of pre-internet remote friendships?

I'm curious about the history of friendship - specifically examples - famous or otherwise - where very deep friendships are sustained only by remote means. Mail I think, but I suppose telegraph and telephone also meet this definition. Pre-electric examples slightly preferred, but I'm open to being corrected. Bonus points for examples of relationships where the individuals involved never physically met.
posted by artlung on Dec 4, 2012 - 14 answers

Don't call it a breakup: Friendship Edition

Why do I feel like I'm in a relationship with my friend? Not in the way that's fun, but more the trainwreck variety: "How come I didn't know about...?" "Why aren't you letting me in?" "No one knows you like I do." "How dare you betray me. You're just like all the others." Some of my other friends have also noticed possessiveness on her part, and more than one person has asked me or wondered if we were dating. [more inside]
posted by smock smock smock on Nov 29, 2012 - 31 answers

How to help a friend stuck for decades?

Friend stuck in a deep rut. Increasingly concerned he may never escape. Anything I can do to help? [more inside]
posted by u2604ab on Nov 28, 2012 - 23 answers

Coping with social isolation after the end of a long relationship.

I had a serious relationship of about ten years that ended a bit more than a year ago. My SO was my sole source of human friendship and companionship. Now that I'm on the other side, I'm struggling. How do I cope with the lack of meaningful human interaction and what can I do to move towards something better? [more inside]
posted by prex on Nov 26, 2012 - 23 answers

Middle(wo)man

How does one go about mediating between estranged lovers? [more inside]
posted by lilacp on Nov 15, 2012 - 27 answers

How To Respond to Friend's Betrayal

I had a close friend/coworker recently betray me on a very deep level. I've known him for over 3 years and he did everything he said he wouldn't, just for a girl. I really have no desire to continue the friendship any longer and we have not talked since the betrayal occurred. I want to confront him, mostly to get the anger/pain off my chest, but won't be able to do so in person for another few weeks. Is it best to just wait to do the confrontation in person? Or would it be ok to let out the anger earlier, through a text or email? Or would the best thing be to just turn and walk away, leaving
posted by blueberrybubbles on Nov 14, 2012 - 29 answers

How do I settle this debt?

Parents bought a $1.8k plane ticket for my friend and now she's agreeing to wire back $900 into my account. She had agreed to pay back the full price initially. How do I get the rest of the money back? [more inside]
posted by lyinlion on Nov 7, 2012 - 34 answers

Help me learn how to maintain friendships?

I am a good friend, I meet loads of interesting people, but I am terrible at maintaining friendships. Help me not end up alone, on my couch, eating out of a tuna can every night wondering what happened to all my friends. [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Nov 5, 2012 - 17 answers

time, distance, jobs, a baby, or me: what's the problem?

I feel abandoned by some friends. How should I address this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 18 answers

What to do about a friend who doesn't make time for me and other friends

What is this kind of behavior? I have a friend who constantly turns down invitations to do anything because she says her life is so busy. [more inside]
posted by spooky car on Nov 2, 2012 - 40 answers

How to give a male friend advice?

Men of Mefi please explain - how do I give advice to a man? My male friend gives me lots of good advice but never asks for any from me. How do I keep the ledger balanced? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2012 - 43 answers

Mountain out of a molehill: is this great crush-guy gay?

This Question Makes Me Feel Silly: I like him, think he likes me. . .but I honestly can't tell whether or not he's gay. Need advice on how best to handle clearing this up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2012 - 39 answers

I have a new friend, she has a giant Despair Squid.

"Emotional affairs" and being a good partner to someone with severe depression: I need a friend, but this new friendship is moving fast and I'm about 99% sure that my partner will be massively upset if she finds out. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2012 - 23 answers

Is our friendship over? How can I fix things?

Got into a bad argument with a friend. Is the friendship over? How can it be saved? [more inside]
posted by impactsmoothie on Oct 25, 2012 - 37 answers

How can I keep this friendship, and should I even try?

What to do about a close friend who seems to have become an alcoholic--and cemented his new status of "repeatedly gets so drunk he black-outs" in my mind by telling me details of his sexual fantasies involving myself and his wife (my former best friend)? Bonus features: super long background story! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2012 - 34 answers

Inter-office conflict

Please help me manage/cope with this grad school inter-office conflict. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2012 - 12 answers

How to establish emotional boundaries but still help depressed friend?

How to establish emotional boundaries but still help depressed friend? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Oct 23, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I get my friend to stop "joking" about things that aren't funny?

I have a friend who makes a point of expressing how much he likes really poisonous people from my past until I lay out for him the precise reason I (often) find even the mention of said person upsetting. These people are his acquaintances at best. He does this for every/any person he knows I find really upsetting. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by skermunkil on Oct 20, 2012 - 56 answers

How do I get this sadness/anger meld to stop?

[emotional blathering filter] YANAT, but I need a little help untangling my jumbled feelings. How to deal with deep feelings of resentment and sadness and get back to focusing on what's really important to me? [more inside]
posted by Calicatt on Oct 17, 2012 - 12 answers

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls.

Help me find letters written between close female friends. [more inside]
posted by peacrow on Oct 16, 2012 - 18 answers

How can I make sure past unrequited feelings never return and just try to remain friends?

I really need help in dealing with a situation of unrequited love with a best friend, to becoming complete strangers, and then back to best friends again. [more inside]
posted by stonecutters88 on Oct 15, 2012 - 12 answers

How can we interact more with people with developmental disabilities?

How can I help my daughter interact with people with developmental disabilities? [more inside]
posted by stinker on Oct 15, 2012 - 15 answers

Hey, I Just Met You....

I am rather awkward when it comes to matters of the heart and I am unsure how to proceed in this particular situation. [more inside]
posted by chara on Oct 8, 2012 - 28 answers

Friendship, Stewardship

What to do with an awol friend's large object? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2012 - 18 answers

How can I help my friend?

My friend is in a very bad way. She's had a painful breakup, and she has a long-term chronic illness that's tough to deal with. She's housebound, isolated, very unhappy and says she's thinking of suicide. What, if anything, can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by Catseye on Sep 27, 2012 - 8 answers

Should I cool it with my long distance friend until he leaves his girlfriend?

Divorce from abusive ex almost final, unexpectedly slept with a friend. We have loads in common but he's not (yet?) available. Cool it, or enjoy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2012 - 31 answers

Friend's a fraud. Freak out or fly on?

A formerly close friend (with some family ties) is building a career as a seminar leader by misrepresenting himself as a business success and giving paid seminars supported by a local government agency. Should I care? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2012 - 26 answers

Looking for some dialogue, maybe from Jane Austen

I'm trying to track down a piece of dialogue from a book, possibly written by Jane Austen, about people who seek out a friendship and then decide they don't like the other person. [more inside]
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug on Aug 31, 2012 - 11 answers

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