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Huge misunderstanding with casual friend now an incredible mess.

Huge misunderstanding with casual friend now an incredible mess. I don't know how to handle this so am turning to you for advice. I am honestly trying to keep it brief and still include relevant details. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon on May 27, 2013 - 52 answers

Home Sales Party- How do I end this sales pitch?

My friend will not stop pestering me to invite my friends to her home sales party. How do I navigate this situation without damaging our friendship or leaving one of us feeling bitter? [more inside]
posted by karyotypical on May 22, 2013 - 53 answers

Where them like-minded people at?

I need a major friend refresh/revamp. What are actionable steps I can take to find like-minded people, and in particular people that will both give/take in the fun department? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2013 - 13 answers

I keep bumping into a former friend at parties. What do I say?

I quite conclusively ended the friendship. Now I'm seeing her at social events all over town, and she doesn't seem willing to play my 'you don't exist and I can't see you' game. What do I do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2013 - 32 answers

My feelings were hurt. Should I say anything at all?

I told my friend about an experience that caused me anxiety in the past. I felt that her responses were tone-deaf and hurtful. Was it? And should I say anything, even though the moment has passed? If so, what should I say? [more inside]
posted by orangutan on May 13, 2013 - 37 answers

NOT the Maid of Honor disappointment--swallow or confess

This seems petty, but I am sincerely and exorbitantly bummed out (with some jealousy and hurt feelings to boot) that MY best friend didn't choose me to be her maid of honor. I'm clearly the next-in-line bridesmaid, but I haven't as of yet achieved many positive feelings about the honor I've received, but would like to, and as quickly as possible. [more inside]
posted by lovingkindness on May 13, 2013 - 54 answers

Walking on egg shells is exhausting.

My friend has done a lot for me. That doesn't change the fact that she is a miserable person. How do I breakup with a friend when I feel beholden to her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 12, 2013 - 20 answers

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

Luckily I’m not deceiving, but I have managed to get myself into a very unfortunate romantic relationship with an old friend. Help me untangle myself? A blizzard of snowflake details inside… [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on May 10, 2013 - 26 answers

I don't know what to do about this friendship anymore.

My friend is getting increasingly rude and mean with me, and yet I always find myself apologizing to make things right. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2013 - 71 answers

Help solve a friendship dispute.

2 friends attempt to get together once or twice a week and when they do its a really great, fun time. Both are quirky and odd and feel personal connections and common interests are a rare thing. But.... A is always late, often gets distracted with other plans when executing the original plan, abruptly changes plans or altogether forgets them. B likes to stick to plans and follow through reliably. B is often frustrated at A for what appears/presents as inconsideration, flakiness or straight up lying. A is often frustrated at B's inability to be flexible or understanding or appreciating of the 'thought' behind the plans whether or not they actually materialize. Friend A has untreated adhd (and doesn't want to discuss it) and and Friend B thinks this may be a contributing factor. Friend A and Friend B both secretly think the other is in the wrong while they try to compromise in order to continue the friendship of 4 years, but the many disagreements are wearing on them. Should A and B just not hang out anymore?
posted by tenaciousmoon on May 7, 2013 - 31 answers

Do I tell him why I am not being my normal, friendly self?

I am married and recently realized I had developed romantic feelings for a friend/coworker (also married). I have stopped speaking to him for the sake of my marriage. He really wants to know why I am avoiding him. What's the best way to handle this without making him feel bad? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 30 answers

How do we deal with adults acting like teenagers?

How to deal with a snowball of special snowflake drama from supposed friends and set clear boundaries when they are being clearly unreasonable. [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on May 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Help me tell my BFF to shut up, in the nicest of ways.

My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by ElectricGoat on Apr 28, 2013 - 26 answers

I promise I don't bite . . .

What causes social rejection absent a glaring personality flaw? [more inside]
posted by chainsofreedom on Apr 27, 2013 - 16 answers

To keep in touch with an ex or not?

I'm sort-of friends with an ex-boyfriend who I had bad relationship with. Broke up over a year ago, get coffee to catch up every few months. Now in a new relationship, and ex has asked to meet up again. Not sure if I should end this sort-of friendship, and if I do, how? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 17 answers

Help me, I'd like to have a social life.

I'm on the brink of 25 and I have never had much of a social life. How can I confidently go forward with my life? I'm really terrified of starting, but I know I have to. [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain on Apr 26, 2013 - 23 answers

How to help a friend going through hell

Major breakup, deaths of close relatives, and pet illness and predicted pet death. How can I possibly help? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Apr 26, 2013 - 17 answers

do they have contempt for me, or am I being silly?

Last week a friend of mine insulted me behind my back, which then got back to me in a convoluted way. I am having trouble getting over this, and I want to know if I am overreacting. [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Apr 23, 2013 - 92 answers

Friend to employer? New relationship guidelines...

So Mr. lasamana got a job (yay!). He had an offer from a company that was not local and an offer that was local but with a fair amount of travel. We made our decision in part by Mefi. Now the question - he’s now working for the local company that includes 2 separate friends of ours. They are his bosses. He seems cool with it but I’m having an issue. We (3 couples) are friendly through our kids. 2 of ours and separately 1 each of theirs (different ages). Occasionally we got together as moms and socialized. This happens maybe 2x/year. Our conversation runs the gamut and included personal stuff. Not to mention we run into each other in the store, etc. I feel very leery all of a sudden about these relationships. Not to mention I sense a sudden cooling off by one of the wives. Is it better to let these friendships fade or maintain as if nothing changed? I should one of these couples has been very good to one of kids even including him on overnight trips and stuff. Now I’m concerned even about the propriety of that in relation to other employees. Do I have a valid concern? Want to add I really like both couples and have had great fun with the wives.
posted by lasamana on Apr 22, 2013 - 6 answers

Now you want me back?

A group of friends effectively dropped me for the last year and now they are making overtures as if nothing happened. How to react? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2013 - 26 answers

If you feel out of place with people your age, does this ever go away?

Can you relate to most people who are your age? If not, have you always felt this way? [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Apr 14, 2013 - 30 answers

Maybe if you'd stop being so annoying...

Recently, I've been finding my best friend just plain annoying. How do I stop feeling annoyed and get back to a harmonious friendship? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette Fantoche on Apr 13, 2013 - 18 answers

Friend B likes friend A's girlfriend. What to do (if anything)?

I am a man. I have a good male friend, call him friend A. He has a girlfriend. He is head over heels. They live together and seem very happy. I have another male friend, friend B. He is single, and prone to quite dramatic behavior. While friend A was away from NY on business, I threw a party where friend B met the girl. They got on very well, and he later admitted he'd developed a big crush on her (unreciprocated, to my knowledge). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2013 - 48 answers

Do you like me or what?

I kinda think the dude likes me but I'm not sure and I'm tired of waiting to find out [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 7, 2013 - 17 answers

Social Math: 1+1=/=1

Suggestions for nice things to do for the couples who are nice to you (especially when you're single and kind of broke)? [more inside]
posted by xenization on Apr 3, 2013 - 18 answers

How to tell an older couple that I think they're just awesome?

I'm casual friends with a wonderful couple. They're both about 15 years older than me. We're not really close friends and we only see each other about once a month, but I have a lot of respect and admiration for them, both individually and as a couple. They go above and beyond doing good deeds for people in our social circle, they mentor two teenagers, and they just seem like happy people who have it together. As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of models of great older women in healthy relationships, and they're exactly that! In thinking about what I want for myself in the future, I think about the lives they live and the kind of people they are. Is there a way to let them know how much I admire them without making a big, awkward deal about it? [more inside]
posted by tomorrow on Mar 31, 2013 - 15 answers

I think I may have to have a serious talk with my frie

Frienship-filter: L. and I have been friends for more than 15 years. The first couple of years, we spent a lot of time together. We were both in a relationship, so it was one of those couples relationship which also became very much about the two of us. After cca 2 years, I moved away to be with the other half of the couple, and stayed away for about 10 years. We have now been in the same place for 5 years (move-away relationship went bust), and I am having trouble with our friendship. [more inside]
posted by laceysocks on Mar 26, 2013 - 17 answers

"Validate meeee"

How to be a better friend to a very insecure person. [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Mar 26, 2013 - 18 answers

When to warn others about a toxic coworker?

Our new coworker has been hanging out a lot with another coworker who is known as a liar, drama generator and just generally selfish and hurtful person. Because he is initially quite charming, she has no idea of his "other side." Do I tell her what everyone else knows or is that just talking trash and I should let her draw her own conclusions? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Mar 22, 2013 - 28 answers

A friend is need is a friend in need.

Should I try to repair this friendship or let it fizzle and move on? I met my friend T about 9 years ago in college and we were close friends for about the last 6 years. Ahe was always more outgoing compared to me (I am a bit of a loner). Long details inside, thanks for taking the time to read... [more inside]
posted by WeekendJen on Mar 22, 2013 - 19 answers

How to quit a band?

How to let them down easy? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Mar 20, 2013 - 16 answers

Heartbroken friend being bad friend

Hi, I have a friend who is incredibly heartbroken. His girlfriend and he broke up after a very long relationship, and I don't think it was a clean breakup, but he has not told me what happened exactly (I suspect she was cheating on him). Let us call him George to make this flow more easily. [more inside]
posted by kbennett289 on Mar 19, 2013 - 19 answers

Can't forgive or forget

I'm involved in a hobby that is very specialized and even in my large city the community is very small and tight knit. Outside of work and family most of my friends are in this hobby. I had a falling out with a "leader" in the community, and I can't seem to get over it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2013 - 17 answers

How to become friends with my ex while I'm still working out my feelings

How do I stay in loose, friendly, honest contact with my ex (from a short relationship) to build a friendship while I still have some residual feelings for him? I know we are only friends now, and I want to respect my boundaries and also his. There's no chance we'll see each other in person for a long time, so this is all about communication and not about sex. [more inside]
posted by zettoo on Mar 14, 2013 - 18 answers

Why did my friend downgrade me?

Friendship-filter: why did my friend declare that I'm not one of his best friends anymore? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2013 - 16 answers

What to do when you're the asshole in the relationship?

So, I was a bad ex-girlfriend and a shitty friend. What now? [more inside]
posted by frizzle on Mar 12, 2013 - 48 answers

How can I keep track of reaching out to my contacts on a regular basis?

I want a contact management system that will remind me to: (1) follow up with new people I meet, and track when I do, and (2) reach out to those people on a regular basis (and track when I do). Please share your own app-based or text-based system for doing this! [more inside]
posted by incandescentman on Mar 12, 2013 - 4 answers

Supplements and friends

What to do in the face of a friend's exhortations to take nutritional supplements? [more inside]
posted by mister_kaupungister on Mar 10, 2013 - 35 answers

Compounding Life Disasters

I think my friend tried to fondle me in my sleep. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2013 - 50 answers

Help me either leave my urban tribe, or accept my place in it

This past year I got involved in a local community of people. I have mixed feelings and am looking for your relevant experiences with close-knit urban tribes. [more inside]
posted by htid on Mar 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Do you experience a hierarchy of affection for your friends?

If you suspect your friend likes you more than you like them, should you still be friends with them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 12 answers

Diplomatic speak for "No, I don't want to be friends with you"?

Glenda thinks because we met up a few times outside work, we can now be besties. Problem is, this time spent together made me realize Glenda is not someone I want to be friends with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2013 - 28 answers

Lose a good friend or try to fix it?

Is a man who pretends to be friends with a woman when he is actually interested in more than friendship doing something shady? Should said woman (myself) drop him as a friend or give him a chance to adjust? He’s a good friend and generally a positive, interesting and charming friend to have (smart, insightful, witty, capable of deep conversation, trustworthy with secrets, understanding…). I’m simply not interested in dating him (for many reasons, the most glaring of which is that he’s sexist in subtle ways that I couldn’t tolerate in a partner), but I value and love his friendship and conversation. I do not want to date him, ever. I don’t know if I should salvage our friendship or let it go, for his sake and mine...I've included the details below but I think this summary captures what I am trying to intellectually and emotionally figure out. [more inside]
posted by grassbottles on Feb 28, 2013 - 54 answers

Ending a friendship over friend's unethical behavior?

I have realized recently that I have a few friends that behave in ways, in other areas of their life, that I think is unethical. How do you draw the line, when someone's behavior is not directly affecting you, on what is acceptable for your standards of friendship? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Feb 23, 2013 - 33 answers

Is this friendship worth saving?

I have a problem. I have a friend. They're mutually inclusive. Let's call him Greg. [more inside]
posted by piratesriding on Feb 21, 2013 - 32 answers

Human male social etiquette question.

I've asked a couple questions about building a richer social life on AskMeta, and a few times I've gotten the suggestion that I should be spending more one-on-one time with friends and acquaintances. My observations suggest that women socialize this way more often than men do. Tell me I'm wrong, then share tips. [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on Feb 21, 2013 - 16 answers

Help Me Reduce Friendship "Churn"

I have a system to develop new friends while simultaneously measuring whether they're worthwhile, allowing me to toss users and losers into the discard piles. However, I worry that the intensity of this filtering process may inadvertently be eliminating some perfectly decent people. Snowflake details below. [more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01 on Feb 15, 2013 - 47 answers

Or should I just keep quiet?

Help me navigate a clash of political ideals without losing my friends. [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Feb 14, 2013 - 19 answers

How can I rebuild my college social life?

College freshman here. Friend from high school has, for lack of a better word, ruined my college social life. Looking for outside opinions on the situation in general. I'd truly appreciate any insight, advice, anecdotes, etc. Thank you! [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Feb 10, 2013 - 20 answers

What to do when someone leaves a big, messy, painful hole in your life

She was somewhere between best friend and lover to me...but this person is like someone I've never met before. I loved her more than anyone I've ever loved in my life and she's done this ugly 180 on me. I need to know how to get past it. My heart is seriously shot. What should I do? How am I suppose to feel? I just feel so disoriented....what do I do? [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Feb 8, 2013 - 15 answers

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