I've been planning to move to another city, and become roommates with a friend, but things got a bit weird this week and I don't know whether to fight the urge to run away fast or instead listen to it and head for higher ground. [more inside]
How do I advise my (male) friend whose social circle is intersecting with a rapist? Seeking resources as well as advice. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
This woman I've been friends with is like a sheep in wolf's clothing. Extremely polite, kind, caring on the outside, which totally draws you in to being friends with her. But in reality she's demanding, bossy, everything has to be on her terms, and really childish. I'm in a totally one-sided friendship with a friend and neighbor and I am having a really hard time doing the fade-away because she is so (seemingly) well-liked and established in our circle of friends and such a presence in our neighborhood. How, in your relationships, or circle of friends do you bring to someone attention that you are tired of always being the one doing the driving, inviting, hosting, etc. and that they need to step up and do their part? This person comes across as so sweet, kind and socially savvy that saying anything like this to her could seem to be really damaging, akward and embarassing for this person. She is non-confrontational, has been a total avoider in past relationships, and always comes across as holier than thou and as someone who always takes the higher road, etc. I'm so sick of having to cater to her demands and would really like to say something while maintaining a semblance of dignity, and politeness. Can you help with some suggestions? [more inside]
I'm not sure how to handle a situation with my best friend and an outburst her boyfriend caused this weekend which caused a huge rift between all of us. She has been dating for about 7 months and I have met him a handful of times, and truely was a huge fan of him until this weekend. I want to talk to her about it, but want to see if my take on the situation is appropriate and how to approach it.
I have a long-term friend (25+ years.) For the most part, our friendship was a good one, but in the past 7 to 8 years, it's become a source of stress for me. I've tried talking with her about this, but she appears to be in denial and dismisses what I say, so nothing gets resolved, and the vicious cycle repeats. Because of our history, and my relationships with her children, parents, and brother, I don't want to cut her off completely, but I want less of her in my life. I've got to deal with this, but I don't know how. [more inside]
my friend invited me alone to her wedding. I asked her about it. I'm invited with no guest. now, do I have to go? [more inside]
Few months back, I started talking to someone online that I have never met. Things developed from there and now all our conversations revolve around our feelings for each other. I am happy to keep this as a fantasy. Am I still going to get hurt here? [more inside]
I have been living with chronic illness for around 10 years now. I am only able to work part time, but I look completely healthy on the outside. Nobody apart from my family knows about it. I hide it for many reasons but unfortunately this makes it unable to get really close to anyone. What to do? [more inside]
I need help deciding how to set boundaries with a friend - if I should even BE setting these sorts of boundaries. More within. [more inside]
I've declined romantic overtures from X in the past. Subsequently, X made repeated friendly overtures toward me. My reciprocation of friendly overtures made X angry. I'm not sure if I need a reality check, or if X does. [more inside]
My friend and her fiance have been engaged for five years and they've finally set a wedding date for next year. Over the past several years, my friend has changed into someone I barely recognize. I’ve had to distance myself from her toxic behavior and no longer count her as a close friend. She still thinks of us as best friends and hasn’t asked anyone else to be in her bridal party. She has no other close friends to ask but I just can’t do it anymore. What’s the kindest possible way to tell her? [more inside]
Our friends are about to move into a house that was built in or around in '60. They've had contractors rip out a lot of carpet and tile to replace it with hardwood, and the husband friend casually told my husband that there might be asbestos in the tile but he'd have to get it tested to know for sure. [more inside]
I'm contemplating friending someone on Facebook who previously defriended me, but I'm worried I'm going to come off as a creeper. How to proceed? [more inside]
about a year ago, I had a falling out with a mutual friend, complete with group g-chat strategy sessions, late-night mediations and about a dozen really, really long emails. the reason for it doesn't matter that much, but This Lady showed no good faith in my intentions and less than no respect for me as a somewhat intelligent and considerate person.
since my two closest friends are good friends with are, am i obligated to invite This Lady to any mass party or event things? [more inside]
I meet new people all the time, and have lots of old friends from different phases of my life. I realize I can't keep up with everyone I've ever met, but I'd like a better system for helping to manage new friendships. Is there an app like that? [more inside]
My girlfriend, who is lonely, used a dating site to make a "friend" which I'm having difficulty coping with. What should I do? [more inside]
My ex-friend won't accept that I don't want to contact her. It's been 2 years since I've spoken to her, but she keeps texting me, emailing me, even sending presents on birthdays and holidays. What now? [more inside]
This was me
. Short version: was in a 6 year relationship with about a year of long distance, partner dumped me for someone else out of the blue. A month later he broke up with her and has since been really working hard for us to get back together. I can't imagine trusting him enough to get back into a relationship, but I love him and he's my best friend so we're doing this weird friends-who-miss-one-another and love-one-another thing that I know will eventually end badly. What should I do? [more inside]
opinion please! [more inside]
I have been getting closer to a friend of mine recently. He has a very particular way of sharing his feelings or more meaningful thoughts that I find a bit off putting and perhaps a little wary? Can you explain to me this one-sided monologue style of sharing when I am used to more of a back and forth? [more inside]
How do I become more assertive and handle their remarks? [more inside]
In addition to wanting to make new connections who are the oversharing, vulnerability exposing type (see previous askme questions) I would also like to improve (increase) the amount of friendship intimacy with my current set of friends. It's failing miserably, even with those friends I've had for years and I can't help wonder if I'm doing something wrong, or if my views on what's appropriate and desirable are off. [more inside]
I'm starting a reading/discussion group on the topic of communities and friendships. What are some good articles/essays/books/websites for us to read? [more inside]
I am getting married really soon, and I have known for a while that my best friend will not be at the wedding (for a really good reason - not that she needs one of course - but that's not the issue). I thought I was totally okay with it - it's just a party! I know she loves me! - but all of a sudden it hit me really, really hard that she won't be there. I don't know how to make this feel better. This is a terrible snowflakey question, but I am really, really sad, and I need better ways to think about this. [more inside]
Huge misunderstanding with casual friend now an incredible mess. I don't know how to handle this so am turning to you for advice. I am honestly trying to keep it brief and still include relevant details. [more inside]
My friend will not stop pestering me to invite my
friends to her home sales party. How do I navigate this situation without damaging our friendship or leaving one of us feeling bitter? [more inside]
I need a major friend refresh/revamp. What are actionable steps I can take to find like-minded people, and in particular people that will both give/take in the fun department? [more inside]
I quite conclusively ended the friendship. Now I'm seeing her at social events all over town, and she doesn't seem willing to play my 'you don't exist and I can't see you' game. What do I do next? [more inside]
I told my friend about an experience that caused me anxiety in the past. I felt that her responses were tone-deaf and hurtful. Was it? And should I say anything, even though the moment has passed? If so, what should I say? [more inside]
This seems petty, but I am sincerely and exorbitantly bummed out (with some jealousy and hurt feelings to boot) that MY best friend didn't choose me to be her maid of honor. I'm clearly the next-in-line bridesmaid, but I haven't as of yet achieved many positive feelings about the honor I've received, but would like to, and as quickly as possible. [more inside]
My friend has done a lot for me. That doesn't change the fact that she is a miserable person. How do I breakup with a friend when I feel beholden to her? [more inside]
Luckily I’m not deceiving, but I have managed to get myself into a very unfortunate romantic relationship with an old friend. Help me untangle myself? A blizzard of snowflake details inside… [more inside]
My friend is getting increasingly rude and mean with me, and yet I always find myself apologizing to make things right. What should I do? [more inside]
2 friends attempt to get together once or twice a week and when they do its a really great, fun time. Both are quirky and odd and feel personal connections and common interests are a rare thing.
But.... A is always late, often gets distracted with other plans when executing the original plan, abruptly changes plans or altogether forgets them. B likes to stick to plans and follow through reliably.
B is often frustrated at A for what appears/presents as inconsideration, flakiness or straight up lying.
A is often frustrated at B's inability to be flexible or understanding or appreciating of the 'thought' behind the plans whether or not they actually materialize.
Friend A has untreated adhd (and doesn't want to discuss it) and and Friend B thinks this may be a contributing factor.
Friend A and Friend B both secretly think the other is in the wrong while they try to compromise in order to continue the friendship of 4 years, but the many disagreements are wearing on them. Should A and B just not hang out anymore?
I am married and recently realized I had developed romantic feelings for a friend/coworker (also married). I have stopped speaking to him for the sake of my marriage. He really wants to know why I am avoiding him. What's the best way to handle this without making him feel bad? [more inside]
How to deal with a snowball of special snowflake drama from supposed friends and set clear boundaries when they are being clearly unreasonable. [more inside]
My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
What causes social rejection absent a glaring personality flaw? [more inside]
I'm sort-of friends with an ex-boyfriend who I had bad relationship with. Broke up over a year ago, get coffee to catch up every few months. Now in a new relationship, and ex has asked to meet up again. Not sure if I should end this sort-of friendship, and if I do, how? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I'm on the brink of 25 and I have never had much of a social life. How can I confidently go forward with my life? I'm really terrified of starting, but I know I have to. [more inside]
Major breakup, deaths of close relatives, and pet illness and predicted pet death. How can I possibly help? [more inside]
Last week a friend of mine insulted me behind my back, which then got back to me in a convoluted way. I am having trouble getting over this, and I want to know if I am overreacting. [more inside]
So Mr. lasamana got a job (yay!). He had an offer from a company that was not local and an offer that was local but with a fair amount of travel. We made our decision in part by Mefi. Now the question - he’s now working for the local company that includes 2 separate friends of ours. They are his bosses. He seems cool with it but I’m having an issue. We (3 couples) are friendly through our kids. 2 of ours and separately 1 each of theirs (different ages). Occasionally we got together as moms and socialized. This happens maybe 2x/year. Our conversation runs the gamut and included personal stuff. Not to mention we run into each other in the store, etc. I feel very leery all of a sudden about these relationships. Not to mention I sense a sudden cooling off by one of the wives. Is it better to let these friendships fade or maintain as if nothing changed? I should one of these couples has been very good to one of kids even including him on overnight trips and stuff. Now I’m concerned even about the propriety of that in relation to other employees. Do I have a valid concern?
Want to add I really like both couples and have had great fun with the wives.
A group of friends effectively dropped me for the last year and now they are making overtures as if nothing happened. How to react? [more inside]
Can you relate to most people who are your age? If not, have you always felt this way? [more inside]
Recently, I've been finding my best friend just plain annoying. How do I stop feeling annoyed and get back to a harmonious friendship? [more inside]
I am a man. I have a good male friend, call him friend A. He has a girlfriend. He is head over heels. They live together and seem very happy. I have another male friend, friend B. He is single, and prone to quite dramatic behavior. While friend A was away from NY on business, I threw a party where friend B met the girl. They got on very well, and he later admitted he'd developed a big crush on her (unreciprocated, to my knowledge). [more inside]
I kinda think the dude likes me but I'm not sure and I'm tired of waiting to find out [more inside]
Suggestions for nice things to do for the couples who are nice to you (especially when you're single and kind of broke)? [more inside]
I'm casual friends with a wonderful couple. They're both about 15 years older than me. We're not really close friends and we only see each other about once a month, but I have a lot of respect and admiration for them, both individually and as a couple. They go above and beyond doing good deeds for people in our social circle, they mentor two teenagers, and they just seem like happy people who have it together. As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of models of great older women in healthy relationships, and they're exactly that! In thinking about what I want for myself in the future, I think about the lives they live and the kind of people they are. Is there a way to let them know how much I admire them without making a big, awkward deal about it? [more inside]