831 posts tagged with friendship.
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How to stop being polite and start getting real

I consider myself an exceedingly polite and considerate person, but often this makes me seem overly formal and has the (unintended?) effect of keeping people at arms' length. How can I reduce this behavior and act more casual and normal with people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 22, 2014 - 16 answers

Apportioning ownership to creative ideas polished through collaboration

For very low budget, collaborative efforts, where the script is an outline and you are told to act like yourself, where there is no pay and no craft services and you are doing it because you enjoy being together, how is ownership usually apportioned? [more inside]
posted by GregorWill on Oct 21, 2014 - 8 answers

Public health issues and friendship issues re: childhood immunizations

How do I navigate finding and sharing information about unvaccinated populations at my local school when I am friends with at least some of these people? [more inside]
posted by tk on Oct 17, 2014 - 24 answers

Ambition: to have or not to have?

Too much ambition and you end up being disappointed for not achieving your goals. Too little, you're unattractive. How to strike a balance? [more inside]
posted by knz on Oct 16, 2014 - 35 answers

... I'm probably overthinking this.

I am a single woman, all of whose straight male friends are taken. I find that this is the only kind of opposite-sex friendship I can cultivate, but when the guys in question are single, it's different story. I find it difficult to get to know or be friends with guys when they're single and I'm single. Thought I'd ask the Hivemind for your ideas. [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Oct 15, 2014 - 16 answers

I've been bottling my feelings up, and it's about to burst.

I'm in a weird friendship situation with two friends of mine (partnered), and after a combination of odd events and miscommunications, I'm not sure what to make out of it. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Oct 5, 2014 - 17 answers

I really wanna harmonize with a faraway friend

I've got a buddy who has recently returned to the opposite coast for a while. A big part of our friendship is singing together, which is right nice. The problem is we can't figure out how to do it now. Skype has that delay that always makes it feel like the other person is messing with you (and the volume goes down in my speakers when there's input from my mic?). Phone calls are weird when one person's trying to hold a guitar. Are there any solutions for this kinda thing yet, or are we reduced to sending recordings back and forth? [more inside]
posted by lauranesson on Sep 30, 2014 - 11 answers

The value of online friendship?

I'm uncertain how to proceed w/maintaining an online friendship and if I should move on or not. Internet drama ensues. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Sep 28, 2014 - 14 answers

Please help me tell good friends to not touch my newborn baby

I am a new mom to a six week old baby. My husband and I are part of a close group of friends we haven't seen in a while. They're eager to meet this baby and we'd like to let that happen next weekend. However, please help me firmly yet politely tell them they can't touch her until she's a little bigger. [more inside]
posted by dmbfan93 on Sep 19, 2014 - 56 answers

Two polar opposite friends clashing, who would've guessed?

When I was having a particularly rough time at home I told a good friend that I was thinking about living in my car for a while. Some time later he mentioned having told another friend about it, laughing about how ridiculous of an idea it was. I feel betrayed. I've told him how that made me feel and he doesn't seem to care so I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by blackzinfandel on Sep 18, 2014 - 28 answers

So I met my online friend in real life! What are these mixed emotions?

I met an online friend of about 10 years today in person and feel oddly emotional. What just happened? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Sep 15, 2014 - 12 answers

Making Friends and Dating in Madison, WI at Age 32

Hi all, I've gone through previous questions relating to live in Madison, and it looks like I'm far from the first person to feel like it's super hard to make friends or find dates here at age 32. Before I give up and move, which I am very much considering, I want to know if there are options I've overlooked as far as meeting people goes. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Sep 12, 2014 - 16 answers

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

How do I form stronger friendships and cope during a PhD transition?

Why would someone have a hard time getting people to want to be friends with him, yet be great at listening to people talk about deep personal issues? Is my personality "intense" in ways that amount to immaturity--and if it is, how do I hold onto my idealistic, nonconformist streak without coming across as a jerk or a child with it? And how do I deal with all of this while keeping my career in academia afloat? [more inside]
posted by urufu on Sep 4, 2014 - 19 answers

Words in books.

I want to give a great kid a couple of books. Not sure what to write in them. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee on Sep 4, 2014 - 11 answers

Coping with Friendship Blues

I wrote this question. I've been thinking a lot about my friendship with that guy, specifically how to proceed with it. Small blizzard under the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2014 - 14 answers

Thinking about others until it's inconvenient

Help me form a strategy for reaching out to people I have met and want to know better. I need a new one to help me search for work, but I have difficulty working with specific sorts of strategies for general sorts of problems, so I'd like to avoid making it about job hunting exactly. More about how to think of people in a way that accounts for my own interests while still thinking of them and not myself. [more inside]
posted by LogicalDash on Aug 29, 2014 - 4 answers

What are reasonable expectations of looking after an unwell friend?

I’m having troubles working out if I’m being unreasonable in the below scenario. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Aug 27, 2014 - 49 answers

What do I do about a friend?

I'm not sure how to proceed in a friendship. Thrilling details within. [more inside]
posted by saturn~jupiter on Aug 25, 2014 - 25 answers

My Best Frenemy's Wedding

(ugh.) Friend B from this post is getting married next month, and I don't want to go. Or I do want to go, to support her fiance and be with old friends. But I don't want to celebrate her in any way. How do I proceed and keep my dignity? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Aug 21, 2014 - 45 answers

where are you, my fellow nerds?

I've lived in Kansas City for about three years, and due to my tendency to be an introvert I really haven't found any friends outside of work. I tend to get along best with nerdy intellectual/perpetual student types, but am open to branching out a bit. I've tried Meetup groups with little success. Anybody have ideas I could check out? KC specific or more general wouldn't hurt either. Thanks!
posted by gilsonal on Aug 20, 2014 - 10 answers

Weekend guest etiquette - am I right to be upset?

I recently had two very close friends to stay for the weekend. My partner and I put a load of effort into tidying and cleaning the house, buying new towels for our guests, filling the cupboards and fridge with yummy (and expensive!) food, and my partner spent hours cooking. I had a nice, though tiring, weekend (with some awkwardness as we have all changed over the years since we were very, very close) but when the guests had left, my partner pointed out that neither of them had brought a gift (I would never expect something huge, but I don't think I ever don't take a bottle of wine/flowers/chocolates if I go to stay with someone..). We also realised that neither of them had offered to (or taken it upon themselves) to help with the washing up after any of the homemade meals we had - even breakfast! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2014 - 64 answers

Why is this "straight" guy so fond of me?

I have an overly close friendship with a straight guy, which is turning into a marriage in every way except sex. What could be going through his mind? Why is this "straight" guy so fond of me? More below. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Aug 16, 2014 - 39 answers

Am I being a good friend or being taken advantage of?

I had to back out of a paying gig that a friend and I had agreed to work on together. I backed out because of health complications, but she was very upset, so I agreed to try and help get the project finished in any capacity that I was still able. It's now turning into a much bigger mess, and said friend is expecting more work from me. I want to help my friend, but I also feel like I'm being a sucker. [more inside]
posted by LANA! on Aug 15, 2014 - 21 answers

My 30 yr.old friend's mom has stage 4 cancer, how to be there for her?

Hey All! How can I support my friend? I have only know her for 6 months. It is awkward, do I say something and check-in on her mom or not? What is the most supportive thing to do?
posted by TRUELOTUS on Aug 11, 2014 - 14 answers

I don't have friends.

I'm interested in improving my social or networking skills for a better perspective on life. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Jul 28, 2014 - 8 answers

It's "banana," not "'nana"

How do I ask a friend to stop speaking in a baby voice? Friend in question is 22 years old. [more inside]
posted by mlo on Jul 21, 2014 - 51 answers

When Is It Good To Let go Of An Internet Friendship?

I've had a two year friendship with someone I've never met but care a great deal for. It is causing a lot of stress. I am unsure how to end it given the intensity of our communication. I have included more in the extended area. [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Jul 18, 2014 - 17 answers

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Lawyers: how do you decline helping out your friends? [more inside]
posted by naju on Jul 14, 2014 - 21 answers

Handling an irresponsible friend

Things have come to a head with a friend, and I want to figure out if I'm right in wanting to cut and run, or if there is something else I should instead be doing. While the friend has her virtues (she's kind, a social butterfly, fun to hang out with), I've come to the conclusion that she is also very irresponsible, and my experiences dealing with this irresponsibility have become a point of stress and frustration in my life. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210 on Jul 13, 2014 - 21 answers

helping others while maintaining my own sanity

I have a friend who is having a horrible life right now and I want to be supportive but I am also having a horrible life right now. How can I help but not put my own mental health at risk? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jul 11, 2014 - 16 answers

A fareweather friend apologizes for being a bad friend, should I care?

I'd already stopped caring a few months ago and it's hard to go back to caring again. [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 25, 2014 - 20 answers

We can be friends if you respect how boring I am.

My friend would like me to go out more. I am not interested. How do I address the tensions this is causing in our friendship? [more inside]
posted by Milau on Jun 25, 2014 - 18 answers

What makes a good Barbecue?

What makes a good Barbecue? [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Jun 21, 2014 - 14 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

Socially awkward human seeks advice on friendship.

A while back, my friend sent me a message confessing his love for me. Awesome, right? Not so much. I failed to reply because I am a socially awkward human being and it was overwhelming at the time and now he has stopped speaking to me entirely. I'm not sure how to fix this, and honestly, I'm not sure if I even want to. [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Jun 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Cat scratch = money fever?

A friend who is catsittting claims that my cat has "gashed" her nose. She included a photo of her face and it's setting off alarm bells. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by wxysock on Jun 5, 2014 - 32 answers

Need help sorting out a very complicated friendship

Just over a year ago, I met this guy, let's call him A, via email. He got in touch with me requesting some of my tutoring services and asked if I were willing to teach him via Skype. This tutoring relationship collapsed after a few months due to a number of factors but he insisted we stay in touch on a more personal level. I quickly learned that he'd gone through a lot in life: abuse, estranged family, homelessness. I wanted to learn about his life and be there for him because it became apparent that he didn't have any fixtures of support in his life whatsoever. The nature of our friendship became more and more intense. All-night phone calls became the norm and it began to have a significant effect on my ability to function in my already hectic life. After several months of this, all of the following have happened: I told him that I felt our friendship was dysfunctional and that we should cease contact, he told me that he couldn't live without me and said he was in love with me. And then made a last-minute trip to visit me. I'm so confused and lost as to how to handle this situation and desperately need perspective. Big ol' wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by csjc on Jun 4, 2014 - 42 answers

Please help me figure out if this friendship is over

I think a friendship that had meant a whole lot to me is over. Part of me is ready to just cut ties and call it a day, but another part of me is loathe to let go of what had been a really fun and meaningful friendship. Details below. [more inside]
posted by shiu mai baby on Jun 4, 2014 - 48 answers

Help me find the Guy on the Train!

Should I try to reconnect with an old high school acquaintance? Or just leave it be? [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Jun 2, 2014 - 18 answers

slow fade isn't working

I have a friend who I consider to be almost family. We used to be extremely close through middle and high school, and probably most of while I was in college. She had a really rough childhood that resulted in PTSD and lasting issues with relationships. Over the past few years our daily lives have become pretty different and I think as she's had less going on she's gotten harder to talk to. I've been trying the slow fade, but she's noticed and I have to figure out how much to explain. [more inside]
posted by sepviva on Jun 2, 2014 - 14 answers

How Can I Reduce My "Fear Of Missing Out" And Relax A Little?

How can I slow down and take time to myself and enjoy it when there is always a constant stream of social invites? How can I stop worrying about missing out on something, and specifically missing out on meeting new romantic chances? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Jun 1, 2014 - 9 answers

My houseguest will be staying for weeks but doesn't have spending money

I agreed to let a friend from out of the country stay with me for almost a month this summer, but now that the visit is getting closer, she has been mentioning that she doesn't have any spending money. Help me make sure this doesn't become my problem! [more inside]
posted by Neely O'Hara on May 30, 2014 - 43 answers

Male co-worker asked me to hang out with him and his girlfriend..

I have been sharing an office with a guy for the last month. We spend 40 hours a week sitting next to each other. Now he asked me to have a day trip with him and his gf on the weekend (just 3 of us). Weird or perfectly fine? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on May 29, 2014 - 37 answers

what to expect when your best friend is expecting?

My best friend is a few weeks out from the birth of her first child. Mom, dad, and baby are healthy and well-appointed. Everything is great! But inspired by anecdotes and first-hand experience, I am growing increasingly terrified that our friendship will necessarily falter and/or fade in light of this incalculably life-altering event. Can folks with similar experience give me a heads-up as to what can, should, or could happen next? Any tips or tricks that might help a person figure out how to offer the right combination of support and space to their new parent friends? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on May 28, 2014 - 36 answers

Friendship flipping-flopping, how to balance it?

Kind of complicated, more under the fold. Just not sure what to do about a seemingly deprecating friendship. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on May 25, 2014 - 25 answers

I have only a little to give but how to draw the line?

I have a needy friend that I have been helping out, but I need to draw a line somehow. Complication: we work together. I can’t let my friend and her son literally starve, but I really am pretty broke. I don’t know how to word things / deal with the situation to tell her I can’t give any more, when she inevitably requests more help. [more inside]
posted by sock puppetron on wheels on May 24, 2014 - 36 answers

My friends paid me for a gift and it hurt my feelings. now what?

At a picnic with some friends, I gave everyone ten-ish minute massages (I am a massage therapist). It was a spontaneous gesture and I really enjoyed doing it. As I was leaving, a friend slipped an envelope in my bag. When I got home and opened it, there was a card with money inside, thanking me for their "first session". I feel like this turned a spontaneous act of goodwill and friendship into a business transaction. I'm hurt, saddened, and a little offended. I didn't want money or ask for it, and I don't think that I said or did anything implying otherwise. Now I feel like I'm not their friend, I'm hired help. How do I address this?
posted by windykites on May 24, 2014 - 22 answers

You're Leaving Me?

Work BFF gets a new job and I don't know how to take it! [more inside]
posted by brynna on May 20, 2014 - 6 answers

A Decade of Exhaustion

One of my oldest friends is also the most difficult. He consistently wants more of my time and energy than I can give, even when I explain that I'm stretched too thin. I'm fond of him, but I need time apart. Challenge: his support system consists of me and no-one else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2014 - 24 answers

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