300 posts tagged with friendship by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 300.

Experience or advice welcome.

I will soon be accompanying a close friend to Dignitas where she will end her life (she has a virulent, newly diagnosed, Stage IV lung cancer). Has anyone here been to Dignitas in a similar role, or knows of anyone who has, and can comment on the experience? Long-time Mefite posting anon as assisted suicide is illegal in our country. Many thanks.
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2015 - 6 answers

We are never ever getting back together, so now what?

What does or should a years-old, deeply held friendship look like after you date and then break up? What do I need to accept isn't or can't be the way it used to be? Please help me build a better framework for thinking about this and making judgement calls I can trust. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 18 answers

Several losses all at once

A friend of mine decided they do not want to be friends any more. Because of additional circumstances, it has also meant losing a supportive community I'd been part of for a few years. I'm surprised by the intensity of my grief and finding it difficult to cope. I am looking for resources / books / personal accounts / tips to help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2015 - 14 answers

How to tell when people actually don't like me?

I feel like I'm having a hard time making the transition from friends that I see at parties to friends that I can call up for a random happy hour or the like. The anxiety-ridden part of my brain has me convinced that this is because these people don't actually like me. How can I discern the truth and take next steps? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 11 answers

Saving a Friendship... the "plus 3 year old kid" edition

My very treasured friendship of ten years has become very challenging. The issue is: when my husband and I hang out with my friend, her husband, and their kid, the hubbies hang out and talk shop together, and I hang out with my friend and her kid. I try to help, but I'm kinda ignored and really bored. And I actually LIKE kids. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2015 - 40 answers

Friendship breaking up is hard to do.

A former friend intentionally cut my partner (and, by extension, me) out of his life. I don't want to feel panicky every time I hear about this person, and I don't want my partner to feel cut out of his professional community. How do I get over all these bummer feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 6 answers

Accused by former friend, how to deal?

Friendship dissolved, unclear how to proceed with friends we had in common. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2015 - 12 answers

Ideas for repairing a damaged friendship

How do I make up with a friend over a third party situation involving an animal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 30, 2015 - 28 answers

Great connection, terrible sex

I asked a friend on a date recently. The date went really, really well, until we tried to have sex. Now I'm not sure if I should try again, or see if I can get out and save the friendship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I end a friendship with someone who has committed assault?

(pseudonyms used of course) A few months ago, my friend, Eve, told me that a mutual acquaintance of ours, Cain, had done something terrible to her several years ago. The circumstances of the incident are hazy because she had been dosed, isolated, and her memories are unclear. She has not gone public with it due to the circumstances, and has preferred that the incident stay in the past. Still, I believe her and this has, in my mind, ended my already shaky friendship with Cain. Cain, however, has made persistent efforts to revive our friendship, and so I feel compelled to make plans and bring this up with him. How do I do so in such way as to minimize possible blowback on Eve, and also ensure that Cain doesn't actually victimize anyone else? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2015 - 48 answers

How do I cope with and process this intense emotional connection?

Dated someone, felt intensely emotionally (but not physically?) attracted to them, but things fizzled out. Now re-connected as friends and those feelings are coming back, but something's still missing. Need some perspective from others who've been here before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2015 - 7 answers

Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Am I being overly sensitive or is my new friend mean? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 14, 2015 - 56 answers

A friend says he needs a breather. Now what?

A friend of mine who I considered (and actually, continue to consider) close just told me he needs a breather from the friendship. Twofold question: 1) can this possibly be headed anywhere good? and 2) has anyone else here been in this situation, and if so, will you share stories about how it turned out? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 18, 2015 - 21 answers

Hermit with a DSL line

Over the past few years, I've found myself turning into a relative hermit - living alone, going out and about alone, spending time with my family but not really anyone else in 'real life,' preferring the wider range of people and opportunities on the internet for friendship and comradeship. Is this a problem, or am I just overthinking and worrying about nothing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2015 - 18 answers

My husband says she's his best friend. Really?

Please tell me if you have had an intense friendship with someone of the sex you're attracted to and it genuinely was platonic. My husband is very close to another woman and swears they're just friends. I'm worried. He adores her, he spends every spare minute with her and when they're not together, I know he's thinking of her. He isn't like this with any other friend and never has been (we've been married 15 years). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2015 - 101 answers

Relating to a colleague who has come out as Transgender to me

A woman at work came out to me earlier this week as Transgender (she is, I am fairly certain, a woman who was assigned male at birth). I'm not sure I handled it well and based on the generally sensible, kind, and intelligent way that Trans* issues are discussed on Metafilter (especially when compared to other places on the web) I am hoping for some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2015 - 23 answers

How do I get my friend to stop clinging?

An old long-distance friend continues to cling to the last shreds of our friendship, but I checked out of it years ago. The slow fade hasn't worked, and I don't want to hurt her by "breaking up" - she seems too fragile and needy. I don't know what to do, and I feel stuck and guilty. Weird special details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 32 answers

Close friends of the opposite sex - both happily married?

If you are/were in a happy monogamous relationship and developed a close, 100% platonic totally public friendship with someone of the opposite sex also in a happily monogamous relationship, how did you manage this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2014 - 28 answers

Have you ever "broken up" with a friend?

There's a guy I've been friends with - very close friends at one point - for over 20 years. I won't get into the details, but I've decided that because of his shoddy behavior towards myself and others I no longer want him in my life. How should I proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2014 - 14 answers

Mom: Destroying Friendships Since 2014

My son has social delays that make making friends hard. He was finally on his way to making a real friend, and I (his mother) ruined it by inadvertently alienating the other child's mother. I can't fix it. How do I live with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2014 - 17 answers

How to stop being polite and start getting real

I consider myself an exceedingly polite and considerate person, but often this makes me seem overly formal and has the (unintended?) effect of keeping people at arms' length. How can I reduce this behavior and act more casual and normal with people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 22, 2014 - 16 answers

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Coping with Friendship Blues

I wrote this question. I've been thinking a lot about my friendship with that guy, specifically how to proceed with it. Small blizzard under the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2014 - 14 answers

Weekend guest etiquette - am I right to be upset?

I recently had two very close friends to stay for the weekend. My partner and I put a load of effort into tidying and cleaning the house, buying new towels for our guests, filling the cupboards and fridge with yummy (and expensive!) food, and my partner spent hours cooking. I had a nice, though tiring, weekend (with some awkwardness as we have all changed over the years since we were very, very close) but when the guests had left, my partner pointed out that neither of them had brought a gift (I would never expect something huge, but I don't think I ever don't take a bottle of wine/flowers/chocolates if I go to stay with someone..). We also realised that neither of them had offered to (or taken it upon themselves) to help with the washing up after any of the homemade meals we had - even breakfast! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2014 - 64 answers

A Decade of Exhaustion

One of my oldest friends is also the most difficult. He consistently wants more of my time and energy than I can give, even when I explain that I'm stretched too thin. I'm fond of him, but I need time apart. Challenge: his support system consists of me and no-one else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2014 - 24 answers

Am I being a crazy-person? Immature perhaps?

My close friend of 4 years now spends all their time with a long-lost friend recently resurfaced and I am sad/angry/jealous/ Should I be? More inside :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 4, 2014 - 23 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

Learning how to set limits and follow through on them

I need help in learning how to firmly say no and in changing patterns that have been years in the making. I’m an empathetic and intuitive person and I’m very generous. It’s second nature to me to offer to help out or to support my friends. I come from a very ‘what’s mine is yours’ approach. I’ve given people places to stay, financial support, intensive emotional support and career assistance. I like being this way; it’s true to me and I’m not resenting or adding it up…but I feel I am training some people to exploit me or to assume they are always entitled to my help. I’m happy with these parts of myself, but recently I’ve started feeling that my kindness and sensitivity to others needs and boundaries is encouraging some people to treat me as if I have no boundaries or needs myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2014 - 35 answers

How to support friend, untangle my issues, and set proper boundaries?

One of my best friends disclosed to me over the summer regarding a long-held secret that involves his sexuality in relation to physical identity, gender-expression, and self-esteem vis-a-vis body-dysphoria issues. I am trying to be supportive, but am afraid I've failed and become more of an enabler in the process. I feel like I'm being pressured to be his therapist & could use some advice re: how to proceed. Snowflakes apply; more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2013 - 16 answers

My closest friend is mentally unwell and in love with me. Help.

I share a house with my oldest and closest friend, and I have found out that he is in love with me and feels intense heartache and jealousy when I date. He is deeply depressed and emotionally dependent on me. We are both late 20s guys and I am straight. I don't know how to deal with this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 17 answers

How can I best help my depressed friends & also take care of myself?

I watch many people who I care a lot about suffer from depression. I would sincerely do anything to help them, and do whatever I can think of: conversations, little notes and random texts, hanging out, offering help with thinking through options if they want it, etc. But, as someone who is lucky to not have 'been there', it's hard to know when I'm crossing a line and what's really needed. In fact, I think most of my efforts translate to "I know you mean well, but..." even though I'm also one of the few people these friends go to when things get bad. On top of worrying and trying to help, I also spend (probably too much) time thinking about what they're going through and what would be most helpful. It's exhausting for me and stressful, but it's personally not an option not to care. I end up internalizing this stuff and it affects my normal activities, even though at the end of the day, I'm not the one suffering. I want to be as good a friend and resource as possible to these people I truly care about and also want to avoid falling victim to anxiety or depression myself because of it. Any tips from either the 'been there' - depressed and knows what's helpful - perspective or the sincerly-caring-friend side of this equation would be much appreciated. Thanks.
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 15 answers

Please give me words for explaining my boundaries.

Can I explain to someone how their negative behaviors are putting me off, but maintain an amicable relationship with them? I get too emotional to find fair words. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 30 answers

two tickets back to the friend zone, please.

A friend recently confessed that they have Seriously Distracting Feelings for me. Nothing remotely more-than-friendly has ever occurred between us, and they've been married for as long as I can remember. My only option is to pretend like it never happened, but I'm struggling with disappointment and resentment because the introduction of this dynamic frequently changes the foundation of the accompanying friendship and I don't want that to happen. What are some tactics I can employ to make sure that I'm able to move forward respectfully, privately, and (most importantly) at arm's length? Can I take steps to ensure our friendship will mostly go back to how it was before, or is trying to do so an exercise in futility given the circumstances? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2013 - 16 answers

Guess vs Ask, grieving edition

Dealing with grief, unsure how to ask friends for support, if at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Please don't ask me

How do I kindly decline my struggling-writer friends' numerous requests that I submit their screenplays to my agent, without causing any bad feelings or strife? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 27, 2013 - 45 answers

Is it okay to stop maintaining contact with a longtime 'friend'?

I have a 'friend' with whom I am not interested in maintaining a friendship any longer. She seems to feel otherwise and is being a bit persistent. I keep ignoring her emails and phone calls, but still, every few months or so, there she is. I really don't want to have to tell her that I don't want to be her friend anymore. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 37 answers

My friend is befriending a rapist. What do I do about it?

How do I advise my (male) friend whose social circle is intersecting with a rapist? Seeking resources as well as advice. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2013 - 45 answers

Fantasy online romance

Few months back, I started talking to someone online that I have never met. Things developed from there and now all our conversations revolve around our feelings for each other. I am happy to keep this as a fantasy. Am I still going to get hurt here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2013 - 10 answers

Hiding chronic illness from people

I have been living with chronic illness for around 10 years now. I am only able to work part time, but I look completely healthy on the outside. Nobody apart from my family knows about it. I hide it for many reasons but unfortunately this makes it unable to get really close to anyone. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2013 - 20 answers

At what point do I step back from being the supportive friend?

I need help deciding how to set boundaries with a friend - if I should even BE setting these sorts of boundaries. More within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2013 - 20 answers

Friends WITHOUT benefits?

I've declined romantic overtures from X in the past. Subsequently, X made repeated friendly overtures toward me. My reciprocation of friendly overtures made X angry. I'm not sure if I need a reality check, or if X does. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2013 - 34 answers

How do I tell a friend I don't want to be her maid of honor anymore?

My friend and her fiance have been engaged for five years and they've finally set a wedding date for next year. Over the past several years, my friend has changed into someone I barely recognize. I’ve had to distance myself from her toxic behavior and no longer count her as a close friend. She still thinks of us as best friends and hasn’t asked anyone else to be in her bridal party. She has no other close friends to ask but I just can’t do it anymore. What’s the kindest possible way to tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2013 - 26 answers

Facebook blues

I'm contemplating friending someone on Facebook who previously defriended me, but I'm worried I'm going to come off as a creeper. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2013 - 27 answers

Girlfriend met a guy on dating site. This isn't settling well with me.

My girlfriend, who is lonely, used a dating site to make a "friend" which I'm having difficulty coping with. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2013 - 81 answers

A breakup means you break things off...

This was me. Short version: was in a 6 year relationship with about a year of long distance, partner dumped me for someone else out of the blue. A month later he broke up with her and has since been really working hard for us to get back together. I can't imagine trusting him enough to get back into a relationship, but I love him and he's my best friend so we're doing this weird friends-who-miss-one-another and love-one-another thing that I know will eventually end badly. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2013 - 25 answers

My best friend can't come to my wedding. Help me be a grown-up.

I am getting married really soon, and I have known for a while that my best friend will not be at the wedding (for a really good reason - not that she needs one of course - but that's not the issue). I thought I was totally okay with it - it's just a party! I know she loves me! - but all of a sudden it hit me really, really hard that she won't be there. I don't know how to make this feel better. This is a terrible snowflakey question, but I am really, really sad, and I need better ways to think about this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2013 - 42 answers

Where them like-minded people at?

I need a major friend refresh/revamp. What are actionable steps I can take to find like-minded people, and in particular people that will both give/take in the fun department? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2013 - 13 answers

I keep bumping into a former friend at parties. What do I say?

I quite conclusively ended the friendship. Now I'm seeing her at social events all over town, and she doesn't seem willing to play my 'you don't exist and I can't see you' game. What do I do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2013 - 32 answers

Walking on egg shells is exhausting.

My friend has done a lot for me. That doesn't change the fact that she is a miserable person. How do I breakup with a friend when I feel beholden to her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 12, 2013 - 20 answers

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