I am married and recently realized I had developed romantic feelings for a friend/coworker (also married). I have stopped speaking to him for the sake of my marriage. He really wants to know why I am avoiding him. What's the best way to handle this without making him feel bad? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 30 answers

So Mr. lasamana got a job (yay!). He had an offer from a company that was not local and an offer that was local but with a fair amount of travel. We made our decision in part by Mefi. Now the question - he’s now working for the local company that includes 2 separate friends of ours. They are his bosses. He seems cool with it but I’m having an issue. We (3 couples) are friendly through our kids. 2 of ours and separately 1 each of theirs (different ages). Occasionally we got together as moms and socialized. This happens maybe 2x/year. Our conversation runs the gamut and included personal stuff. Not to mention we run into each other in the store, etc. I feel very leery all of a sudden about these relationships. Not to mention I sense a sudden cooling off by one of the wives. Is it better to let these friendships fade or maintain as if nothing changed? I should one of these couples has been very good to one of kids even including him on overnight trips and stuff. Now I’m concerned even about the propriety of that in relation to other employees. Do I have a valid concern? Want to add I really like both couples and have had great fun with the wives.
posted by lasamana on Apr 22, 2013 - 6 answers

After eight years at an idiosyncratic dept at a major university, I got a "golden ticket" job at a hot new start-up in my field. I am thrilled. But I am also deeply sad about leaving my friends and colleagues. I mean, deeply, deeply, crying-about-it frequently sad. (More sadness inside!) [more inside]
posted by Fierce clam on Jun 28, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I tell a friend I can't work as much for them anymore without really harming the friendship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2012 - 18 answers

How do I navigate this potentially dramatic work/friends situation? Snowflakes and a long backstory ahead. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2012 - 15 answers

How do you deal with not being taken seriously at work? Why don't my teaching colleagues take me seriously? [more inside]
posted by Es ist Zeit, dass es Zeit wird! on Jan 21, 2011 - 45 answers

I have a friend who needs to get out there and do something with herself, but seems to stall just before taking the plunge. How do I get her over her failure to launch? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2011 - 14 answers

Should I talk to my new superior “B” (also my friend who this question is about) about what I’ve found out about her clandestine strategic maneuvering? I’ve done nothing so far, but I’d love to query the hive mind for suggestions. [more inside]
posted by lonemantis on Oct 12, 2010 - 35 answers

Help me deal with transitioning from peer to authority figure. [more inside]
posted by bookmammal on Aug 4, 2010 - 7 answers

How do I set up boundaries between myself and my friend after our friendship had a nuclear breakdown and we are bound to work together again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2010 - 10 answers

I've got a colleague who I've gotten to know over the last year. He's made a big attempt to be friends. We've hung out together socially a fair bit. I've realised that we have an insurmountable personality clash. I don't enjoy spending time with him. He's not a bad person. I just don't enjoy hanging out with him. He's very good at his job. He's clearly being lined up to become my manager when my current manager leaves. I want to keep excellent professional relations. So how do I back off the friendship part and still keep good work relations? He keeps suggesting things for us to do in the future socially. I'm half considering skipping a work colleagues party next weekend because I can't face spending time with him. It would be fine if I was only going to see him at the party but I'd have to catch a ride with him there and back or make a very obvious excuse to avoid catching that ride.
posted by aTrumpetandaDream on Jan 23, 2010 - 23 answers

Need help deciding whether to take a position with professional and personal complications. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 8, 2010 - 11 answers

How can I mend a friendship with a former supervisor while embattled in a quasi-legal situation against our former company? [more inside]
posted by Raynyn on Mar 28, 2009 - 13 answers

I've been working with this guy for 3 months, and we've gotten on really well the whole time. Today he casually brought up his girlfriend for the first time. Why hasn't he mentioned her before? [more inside]
posted by bibliophibianj on Feb 11, 2009 - 31 answers

How to nicely but firmly tell someone I am completely and totally uninterested romantically and at this point, pretty averse to friendship, too? [more inside]
posted by Phire on Jun 16, 2008 - 27 answers

How can I unblock and get to work? I took on a freelance writing job that came to me from a friend/colleague with whom I've worked very successfully in the past. He pitched me to his team, we had some meetings, I got a retainer and ... was offered a different full-time, demanding job which I could not turn down. I thought I could bang out Freelance Job during my weeks before starting Real Job and now I'm stuck ... [more inside]
posted by thinkpiece on Jan 5, 2007 - 12 answers