Things have come to a head with a friend, and I want to figure out if I'm right in wanting to cut and run, or if there is something else I should instead be doing. While the friend has her virtues (she's kind, a social butterfly, fun to hang out with), I've come to the conclusion that she is also very irresponsible, and my experiences dealing with this irresponsibility have become a point of stress and frustration in my life. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210
on Jul 13, 2014 -
I have a friend who I consider to be almost family. We used to be extremely close through middle and high school, and probably most of while I was in college. She had a really rough childhood that resulted in PTSD and lasting issues with relationships. Over the past few years our daily lives have become pretty different and I think as she's had less going on she's gotten harder to talk to. I've been trying the slow fade, but she's noticed and I have to figure out how much to explain. [more inside]
posted by sepviva
on Jun 2, 2014 -
I agreed to let a friend from out of the country stay with me for almost a month this summer, but now that the visit is getting closer, she has been mentioning that she doesn't have any spending money. Help me make sure this doesn't become my problem! [more inside]
posted by Neely O'Hara
on May 30, 2014 -
My best friend is a few weeks out from the birth of her first child. Mom, dad, and baby are healthy and well-appointed. Everything is great! But inspired by anecdotes and first-hand experience, I am growing increasingly terrified that our friendship will necessarily falter and/or fade in light of this incalculably life-altering event. Can folks with similar experience give me a heads-up as to what can, should, or could happen next? Any tips or tricks that might help a person figure out how to offer the right combination of support and space to their new parent friends? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio
on May 28, 2014 -
At a picnic with some friends, I gave everyone ten-ish minute massages (I am a massage therapist). It was a spontaneous gesture and I really enjoyed doing it.
As I was leaving, a friend slipped an envelope in my bag. When I got home and opened it, there was a card with money inside, thanking me for their "first session".
I feel like this turned a spontaneous act of goodwill and friendship into a business transaction. I'm hurt, saddened, and a little offended. I didn't want money or ask for it, and I don't think that I said or did anything implying otherwise.
Now I feel like I'm not their friend, I'm hired help. How do I address this?
posted by windykites
on May 24, 2014 -
I am 21 years old. Currently I am living at home, working two jobs and trying to figure out what to do for school. I am not close to my family, I was kind of neglected as a kid and feel like I lack a lot of basic life skills and understanding of life. I never realized it before but I am very naive and ignorant. I really want to become more successful socially though, but I'm wondering how exactly to catch up or if I can. [more inside]
posted by anon1129
on May 15, 2014 -
How do you have a platonic relationship with someone who has expressed non-platonic interest in you? Is this possible? [more inside]
posted by outoftime
on Mar 3, 2014 -
I'm female and I've developed a close friendship with a guy over the past six months. As often happens, there is attraction beyond just a friendship. However, special snowflake circumstances dictate that we need to stay platonic--perhaps not forever, but certainly for now. I need help in setting boundaries. [more inside]
posted by Rainflower
on Feb 4, 2014 -
I moved cross country 4 years ago. It's hard to stay in touch with my friends from back there, and I know people move on and away from friends at times. But I'm thinking I should stop trying to keep a connection with them after an email I sent asking for encouragement was ignored. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama
on Jan 29, 2014 -
Practical: Any ideas for fun-but-cheap bachelorette weekend accommodations or activities around the central East Coast?
Context: I'm the last single friend of our group of friends, and the most broke. I'm comfortable with talking about money, but my friends are WASPier types who'd prefer to never, ever discuss anything to do with finances, and tend to change the subject abruptly when it comes up.
This is a problem when I'm expected to pitch in for something that I really can't afford, but that everyone else can. I'm thinking the best solution is to pitch an alternative that I can
afford. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon
on Jan 28, 2014 -
I've dated a man on and off for two years. I shouldn't have gotten involved with him again after the first breakup, but I did, and we eventually became friends with benefits. This was ok for a while because I was dealing with some serious family issues and didn't have much energy or time for a relationship, and we enjoy each others company. He recently decided he wanted a girlfriend and through online dating has found someone. I'm struggling with whether to walk away, or to try to maintain a friendship. [more inside]
posted by pinkbungalow
on Jan 20, 2014 -
I AM a woman. I don't generally like hanging out with women. Suggestions? [more inside]
posted by skbw
on Dec 31, 2013 -
Is there any good way to tell a dear friend I don’t really want to chat on the phone or spend long periods of time with her when she’s very, very stoned? [more inside]
posted by JayAlfred
on Nov 28, 2013 -
While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
posted by hush
on Nov 15, 2013 -
Someone who I bonded with decided we had no spark, but wants to be friends. I am having trouble dealing with being rejected and my lowered self-esteem from the rejection but I feel like he is such a special person that I want to keep him as a friend. We had an intense online relationship for three months and dated for less than 2 weeks. Reading all these posts on MetaFilter has really helped me deal better with my breakup, but I still feel a inner turmoil about how I should handle my own situation. I don't feel that I trust my judgment so...here I am. Help on the matter is appreciated or just some advice or words would help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin
on Oct 26, 2013 -
I made a mistake that resulted in me missing out on a great opportunity to build a decent support group in my new city, which I have been struggling to adjust to. I feel so much pain and regret at losing what was sure to be a great thing. How can I move forward? Any advice much appreciated. [more inside]
posted by independence under the radar
on Oct 9, 2013 -
Disossociating is a frequent problem I experience and I sometimes need to ask friends to help ground me. How can I explain what happens to people with no experience with mental health? [more inside]
posted by kanata
on Aug 25, 2013 -
I've been planning to move to another city, and become roommates with a friend, but things got a bit weird this week and I don't know whether to fight the urge to run away fast or instead listen to it and head for higher ground. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock
on Aug 16, 2013 -
I have a long-term friend (25+ years.) For the most part, our friendship was a good one, but in the past 7 to 8 years, it's become a source of stress for me. I've tried talking with her about this, but she appears to be in denial and dismisses what I say, so nothing gets resolved, and the vicious cycle repeats. Because of our history, and my relationships with her children, parents, and brother, I don't want to cut her off completely, but I want less of her in my life. I've got to deal with this, but I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by matrushka
on Jul 29, 2013 -
about a year ago, I had a falling out with a mutual friend, complete with group g-chat strategy sessions, late-night mediations and about a dozen really, really long emails. the reason for it doesn't matter that much, but This Lady showed no good faith in my intentions and less than no respect for me as a somewhat intelligent and considerate person.
since my two closest friends are good friends with are, am i obligated to invite This Lady to any mass party or event things? [more inside]
posted by blandcamp
on Jun 18, 2013 -
I have been getting closer to a friend of mine recently. He has a very particular way of sharing his feelings or more meaningful thoughts that I find a bit off putting and perhaps a little wary? Can you explain to me this one-sided monologue style of sharing when I am used to more of a back and forth? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand
on Jun 2, 2013 -
Huge misunderstanding with casual friend now an incredible mess. I don't know how to handle this so am turning to you for advice. I am honestly trying to keep it brief and still include relevant details. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon
on May 27, 2013 -
This seems petty, but I am sincerely and exorbitantly bummed out (with some jealousy and hurt feelings to boot) that MY best friend didn't choose me to be her maid of honor. I'm clearly the next-in-line bridesmaid, but I haven't as of yet achieved many positive feelings about the honor I've received, but would like to, and as quickly as possible. [more inside]
posted by lovingkindness
on May 13, 2013 -
2 friends attempt to get together once or twice a week and when they do its a really great, fun time. Both are quirky and odd and feel personal connections and common interests are a rare thing.
But.... A is always late, often gets distracted with other plans when executing the original plan, abruptly changes plans or altogether forgets them. B likes to stick to plans and follow through reliably.
B is often frustrated at A for what appears/presents as inconsideration, flakiness or straight up lying.
A is often frustrated at B's inability to be flexible or understanding or appreciating of the 'thought' behind the plans whether or not they actually materialize.
Friend A has untreated adhd (and doesn't want to discuss it) and and Friend B thinks this may be a contributing factor.
Friend A and Friend B both secretly think the other is in the wrong while they try to compromise in order to continue the friendship of 4 years, but the many disagreements are wearing on them. Should A and B just not hang out anymore?
posted by tenaciousmoon
on May 7, 2013 -
My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by ElectricGoat
on Apr 28, 2013 -
Last week a friend of mine insulted me behind my back, which then got back to me in a convoluted way. I am having trouble getting over this, and I want to know if I am overreacting. [more inside]
posted by thereemix
on Apr 23, 2013 -
So Mr. lasamana got a job (yay!). He had an offer from a company that was not local and an offer that was local but with a fair amount of travel. We made our decision in part by Mefi. Now the question - he’s now working for the local company that includes 2 separate friends of ours. They are his bosses. He seems cool with it but I’m having an issue. We (3 couples) are friendly through our kids. 2 of ours and separately 1 each of theirs (different ages). Occasionally we got together as moms and socialized. This happens maybe 2x/year. Our conversation runs the gamut and included personal stuff. Not to mention we run into each other in the store, etc. I feel very leery all of a sudden about these relationships. Not to mention I sense a sudden cooling off by one of the wives. Is it better to let these friendships fade or maintain as if nothing changed? I should one of these couples has been very good to one of kids even including him on overnight trips and stuff. Now I’m concerned even about the propriety of that in relation to other employees. Do I have a valid concern?
Want to add I really like both couples and have had great fun with the wives.
posted by lasamana
on Apr 22, 2013 -
Suggestions for nice things to do for the couples who are nice to you (especially when you're single and kind of broke)? [more inside]
posted by xenization
on Apr 3, 2013 -
Frienship-filter: L. and I have been friends for more than 15 years. The first couple of years, we spent a lot of time together. We were both in a relationship, so it was one of those couples relationship which also became very much about the two of us. After cca 2 years, I moved away to be with the other half of the couple, and stayed away for about 10 years. We have now been in the same place for 5 years (move-away relationship went bust), and I am having trouble with our friendship. [more inside]
posted by laceysocks
on Mar 26, 2013 -
Our new coworker has been hanging out a lot with another coworker who is known as a liar, drama generator and just generally selfish and hurtful person. Because he is initially quite charming, she has no idea of his "other side." Do I tell her what everyone else knows or is that just talking trash and I should let her draw her own conclusions? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand
on Mar 22, 2013 -
Hi, I have a friend who is incredibly heartbroken. His girlfriend and he broke up after a very long relationship, and I don't think it was a clean breakup, but he has not told me what happened exactly (I suspect she was cheating on him). Let us call him George to make this flow more easily.
posted by kbennett289
on Mar 19, 2013 -
I have realized recently that I have a few friends that behave in ways, in other areas of their life, that I think is unethical. How do you draw the line, when someone's behavior is not directly affecting you, on what is acceptable for your standards of friendship? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand
on Feb 23, 2013 -
College freshman here. Friend from high school has, for lack of a better word, ruined my college social life. Looking for outside opinions on the situation in general. I'd truly appreciate any insight, advice, anecdotes, etc. Thank you! [more inside]
posted by metacognition
on Feb 10, 2013 -
She was somewhere between best friend and lover to me...but this person is like someone I've never met before. I loved her more than anyone I've ever loved in my life and she's done this ugly 180 on me. I need to know how to get past it. My heart is seriously shot. What should I do? How am I suppose to feel? I just feel so disoriented....what do I do? [more inside]
posted by Cybria
on Feb 8, 2013 -
I saw a movie an indie movie a few years ago and I can only recall certain details. I'd like to know what the title is. [more inside]
posted by davebush
on Feb 1, 2013 -
I have a second date coming up this weekend. I think. The guy seems to like me in some way, but there is an odd vibe with the friend vs. date signals and I have no idea how to proceed. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by houndsoflove
on Dec 11, 2012 -
I'm curious about the history of friendship - specifically examples - famous or otherwise - where very deep friendships are sustained only by remote means. Mail I think, but I suppose telegraph and telephone also meet this definition. Pre-electric examples slightly preferred, but I'm open to being corrected. Bonus points for examples of relationships where the individuals involved never physically met.
posted by artlung
on Dec 4, 2012 -
Parents bought a $1.8k plane ticket for my friend and now she's agreeing to wire back $900 into my account. She had agreed to pay back the full price initially. How do I get the rest of the money back? [more inside]
posted by lyinlion
on Nov 7, 2012 -
What is this kind of behavior? I have a friend who constantly turns down invitations to do anything because she says her life is so busy. [more inside]
posted by spooky car
on Nov 2, 2012 -
My extremely-gifted best friend halfway across the world was depressed and then recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Now she's nearly suicidal. I'm in over my head and I don't know what to do... [more inside]
posted by luciphercolors
on Aug 31, 2012 -