877 posts tagged with friendship.
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All it takes is two close friends and you'll never, ever leave.

I heard a speaker say that if members of a religious congregation have at least two friends in the group--close enough that they feel comfortable socializing within each other's homes--the odds of them leaving the congregation are really small. I can't locate this research and am not sure about which key terms to use. [more inside]
posted by mecran01 on Nov 24, 2015 - 1 answer

Greyhound/cat friendship - What else can I do? Is this salvageable?

Our newly adopted retired racing greyhound is somewhat fixated on our cat - despite being tested as cat-safe or cat-trainable. What else can we do to help this? Is it salvageable? [more inside]
posted by cranberrymonger on Nov 11, 2015 - 11 answers

How to handle longtime opposite sex friendships in a relationship?

what is everyone's take on handling opposite sex friendships when you’re in a relationship, especially as we get older? i'm 32. my best guy friend from college moved in with his girlfriend over a year ago. i have met her several times (which i initiated as i wanted to meet her) and i like her (although i have seen her freak at him and noticed she has some insecurity issues) but since they moved in together he always brings her when i ask if he wants to catch up [more inside]
posted by cultureclash on Nov 7, 2015 - 41 answers

Where is my moon tribe?

I am female and 30 years old and currently in a great awakening that has been forming my whole life but only really starting to happen over the last few years. I'm a recovering Christian with relatively new feminist realizations and I want to find others like me. [more inside]
posted by E3 on Nov 7, 2015 - 15 answers

What to buy for a person who hates novelty?

I have this friend I'd like to buy a gift for Christmas... Except I'm stumped on what they'd actually like. Difficulty level: eats only for sustenance, no scents or things that involve dealing with strangers, politely flees from novelty. Mends clothing and not due to lack of funds; refuses to throw out or change anything remotely functional. [more inside]
posted by sciatrix on Nov 4, 2015 - 33 answers

What is the etiquette for ending a long-term friendship?

I hate the idea of the slow fade & treasure this person but feel drained by its one-sidedness. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Nov 3, 2015 - 32 answers

Why do guys put me on a pedestal, then friend-zone me?

Recently, I've been frustratingly "friend-zoned" by two guys who seemed to like me, how do I stop conflating platonic love with romantic love? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 20, 2015 - 27 answers

When to excuse myself from being MOH, and what exactly to say?

My question relates to my Previous Ask from January. The once-postponed, drama-filled wedding plans of one of my best friends since adolescence are now (allegedly) back on again! Looks like I may need to actively excuse myself from being the MOH this time, that is, IF this wedding actually happens... [more inside]
posted by hush on Oct 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Uncertainty of Death (Perspective of a Friend)

My good friend is in the hospital across the country. She is my age (mid-20s) and has a ton of potential. Because of school and money I only have one chance to fly out, so I won't be visiting her (she is also heavily sedated anyways). There is an at least 50% chance she will die of this (though that is an older number and it has likely gotten worse since then). I'm looking for quotes, poems, prayers, or stories not for her, but for her friends, to help deal with this uncertainty and stress. [more inside]
posted by obviousresistance on Oct 15, 2015 - 12 answers

Why do my friends want to remain group-text only?

I have a group text with some friends from work, and we used to hang out regularly. Now, they seem to only want to be my friend over text and won't ever hang out. [more inside]
posted by pimmscup on Oct 3, 2015 - 27 answers

Whether to tell annoying person she's annoying.

Is it even something I should consider? [more inside]
posted by wwartorff on Oct 2, 2015 - 20 answers

Getting closer with a work friend when you have a bit of a crush too...

Can it be done safely, or should I just leave it alone/keep it 100% about work? I have a friend/coworker who has been really good to me since I started at my job a couple years ago, recently helped me through a rough situation at work in a way that made a huge difference, and is a lot of fun to hang out with as well. I'm interested in being better friends and to be someone who has his back to the extent he has had mine, but there's some awkwardness to that, given minor power dynamics and the fact that I have a bit of crush on him (hopefully a secret one). Has anyone successfully navigated anything like this? Any suggestions? Some potentially relevant details below: [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria on Sep 26, 2015 - 14 answers

Experience or advice welcome.

I will soon be accompanying a close friend to Dignitas where she will end her life (she has a virulent, newly diagnosed, Stage IV lung cancer). Has anyone here been to Dignitas in a similar role, or knows of anyone who has, and can comment on the experience? Long-time Mefite posting anon as assisted suicide is illegal in our country. Many thanks.
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2015 - 6 answers

40 years old and have no friends. Where do I start?

How does a guy in their late 30s/early 40s make friends when they are horribly depressed and agoraphobic? See the more inside section for horrible details. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Sep 6, 2015 - 26 answers

Describe This Relationship

I have a friend who's all over the place. I can't figure her out or how to respond. [more inside]
posted by CakeFragments on Sep 1, 2015 - 51 answers

Never the bridesmaid, never the brunch buddy?

How do you make friends with other women when you don't really have friends who are women? [more inside]
posted by blerghamot on Aug 29, 2015 - 21 answers

How do I help my friend who is losing hope?

A distant but very dear friend of mine is in need of help. She is currently in the hospital and doesn't have many local friends. I'm in Wisconsin and she's in Louisiana so there are physical limits to what I can do, but I want to do something! Also I don't want to burden her by asking her what I can do to help. Please give me suggestions, ideas, anything I can do to help her. [more inside]
posted by lriG rorriM on Aug 27, 2015 - 10 answers

Female Friend became distant and finally not texting

Hi, I have a long term female friend who stays in a long distance, we used to chat on and off for many years and especially the last few months we had spent hours of chatting almost every day. We were very much supportive each other ,had a lot of fun talks and used to discuss almost everything, shared a nice time and eventually became really close. But gradually she seemed to be a bit less active for almost a month but still managed to chat (some days energetic, some days not) and started doing less initiation of talks from her. Since I felt this is a bit strange as to what we used to, I asked onetime in a quiet way where she just said there is nothing bothering her as the way I thought. But eventually she became in a situation of not feeling to text or talk and told me the same when I asked about it. [more inside]
posted by Christos on Aug 17, 2015 - 10 answers

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up?

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up? How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Aug 17, 2015 - 9 answers

how to find or create women-only gatherings, groups, clubs, and meetups?

I just got back from a week in a women-only environment and apparently I had no idea how desperately I've always needed to avail myself of a space like that. How do I find other women-only gatherings? Or how can I start one of my own? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Aug 13, 2015 - 32 answers

accidental flirty dynamic

I have a friend who I have a naturally intense and potentially flirty dynamic with, even though I'm not interested in them sexually. It's making me a bit uncomfortable and confused. How do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by hotcoroner on Aug 7, 2015 - 21 answers

Helping a friend in crisis

Friend in mental health crisis; need advice on remaining steady and being there for her while setting boundaries. (trigger warning: sexual abuse, domestic abuse) [more inside]
posted by sunset in snow country on Aug 5, 2015 - 19 answers

We are never ever getting back together, so now what?

What does or should a years-old, deeply held friendship look like after you date and then break up? What do I need to accept isn't or can't be the way it used to be? Please help me build a better framework for thinking about this and making judgement calls I can trust. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 18 answers

Several losses all at once

A friend of mine decided they do not want to be friends any more. Because of additional circumstances, it has also meant losing a supportive community I'd been part of for a few years. I'm surprised by the intensity of my grief and finding it difficult to cope. I am looking for resources / books / personal accounts / tips to help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2015 - 14 answers

How do I, as a guy, get emotionally fulfilling friendships with guys?

I didn't even realize this was something I wanted until I realized all the women in my life (mom, sister, and the new awesome girlfriend) all nearly simultaneously (but independently) kinda got sad about me not having any friends. After thinking about it, that got me bummed too. [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Aug 1, 2015 - 11 answers

How to tell when people actually don't like me?

I feel like I'm having a hard time making the transition from friends that I see at parties to friends that I can call up for a random happy hour or the like. The anxiety-ridden part of my brain has me convinced that this is because these people don't actually like me. How can I discern the truth and take next steps? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 11 answers

Saving a Friendship... the "plus 3 year old kid" edition

My very treasured friendship of ten years has become very challenging. The issue is: when my husband and I hang out with my friend, her husband, and their kid, the hubbies hang out and talk shop together, and I hang out with my friend and her kid. I try to help, but I'm kinda ignored and really bored. And I actually LIKE kids. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2015 - 40 answers

Co-worker drama over complaining

Navigating the post-friendship relationship with someone in a small work environment. [more inside]
posted by lizbunny on Jul 20, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I tell my friend I'm mad at him?

One of my oldest friends (since we were teenagers, and we're middle-aged now) blew off an invitation I sent him and my feelings were really hurt. Should I call him on it or just let it pass? Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by Button-down sock on Jul 19, 2015 - 23 answers

"It's sad that our husbands don't talk anymore."

How do I respond, if at all, to an out-of-the-blue message from the wife of my husband's ex-friend, telling me: "It's sad that our husbands don't talk anymore. I know [my husband] misses your husband." [more inside]
posted by hush on Jul 19, 2015 - 49 answers

Helping a Friend in Need: What Are the Limits?

A close friend of mine is going through some difficult financial times. I want to help as much as I can--and I have for a while now. But I'm worried that he's beginning to see me as an ATM and I'm beginning to feel guilty about saying no or putting limits on how much I will give. I need suggestions on how to draw an appropriate boundary between being helpful yet also not feeling used. [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Jul 14, 2015 - 22 answers

Does my platonic friend have romantic feelings - and what should I do?

Does a platonic friend who is in a relationship feel more than he is letting on? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Jul 13, 2015 - 30 answers

Poor social skills filter: Can this friendship be resurrected?

I think I irreparably messed up my relationship with a close friend from the past. Is there anything else I can/should do at this point, or should I just move on? [more inside]
posted by genmonster on Jun 30, 2015 - 12 answers

They don't want to be in Supper Club anymore, but won't say it

My husband and I have been part of a 4-couple Supper Club that we've really valued. (Let's call the 8 members Couple A, Couple B, and Couple C, and us.) From late 2008 on, we'd meet every 6-8 weeks or so at each of the couple's homes on a rotating basis, and would all bring a dish to share according to a dinner theme selected by the hosts. It was very fun, the food was outstanding, and getting the 8 of us together was something we used to look forward to until... [more inside]
posted by hush on Jun 25, 2015 - 23 answers

What did you need to hear—and NOT hear—after a devastating breakup?

One of my dearest friends got dumped this week, the end of a nearly 7-year relationship that both had hoped would head toward marriage. My friend (whom I'll anonymize as "Fred") is devastated, angry, and hurt, and doesn't have any local friends who knew him before the relationship. Fred lives quite a ways away, so all my support right now must be from afar. He's asked if we can talk by phone this Saturday, and while I anticipate I'll mostly be doing a lot of listening, I want to say the right things to help, too. If you've been through something similar, can you guide me? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jun 25, 2015 - 33 answers

How do I end this friendship?

I am wrestling with how best to end a friendship. snowflake details inside, but I’ll try to keep it short and sweet. [more inside]
posted by carlypennylane on Jun 21, 2015 - 10 answers

Friend dumped and still struggling

About a year and a half ago I confided in my then best friend my plans to do X (where X is a generally looked down upon behavior in our society but not illegal). [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Jun 19, 2015 - 40 answers

Friendship breaking up is hard to do.

A former friend intentionally cut my partner (and, by extension, me) out of his life. I don't want to feel panicky every time I hear about this person, and I don't want my partner to feel cut out of his professional community. How do I get over all these bummer feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 6 answers

Where did you meet your 5-7 closest friends? How often do you see them?

I moved to a new city about 2.5 years ago and, aside from a few friendships that quickly faded by the 6-month mark, still have not made any friends. I don't want advice on where I should meet friends -- I want to know how you (i.e. people ~25-35 years old who are out of school and have been in the "real world" for a few years) have met the people you currently consider your closest friends. I want to have a better idea of how people ACTUALLY met the people they spend the most time with, how often they see them, and how many people they would consider friends. [more inside]
posted by Penguin48 on Jun 16, 2015 - 49 answers

Having the hard conversations with good friends

Several of my friends have gone through some hard life events lately (death, unemployment and more) and I want to know how to talk about it with them. [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Jun 9, 2015 - 17 answers

Online socialising for someone middle-aged and single but NOT dating?

I am 45, recently single after a long-term relationship, and not looking to date. I would like to socialise online though, ideally with people in a similar situation to myself. I read AskMetafilter every day, like many of the comments on the Guardian website, have found some useful info on Reddit (but it doesn't feel like a place I would be comfy participating in). I've also tried The Well for the last couple of months but the discussions I am interested in (e.g. the Singles discussion area) are very quiet - I fear I've joined it two decades too late! What are my other options where I might find enjoyable discussions without too many trolls? [more inside]
posted by AuroraSky on Jun 3, 2015 - 11 answers

Accused by former friend, how to deal?

Friendship dissolved, unclear how to proceed with friends we had in common. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2015 - 12 answers

Distance myself from an annoying work friend

I've got a coworker who I've gotten to know over the last 6ish months. He's made a big attempt to be friends. We've hung out together socially a few times. I've realized that I just can't stand his personality. I don't enjoy spending time with him. He's not a bad person. I just don't enjoy hanging out with him. [more inside]
posted by LizBoBiz on May 23, 2015 - 22 answers

Proven ways to transform a fledgling bully back into a nice kid?

A six year old in martial arts class has just started to do and say mean things. Small stuff so far: unprovoked shoving, telling other kids they're doing it wrong, mild name calling like "big baby" and "dumb shoes." Coach is starting to crack down on the behavior, but now the mean stuff is getting said softly so it isn't caught. Will this pass as an age-related blip? Are there ways to inspire the kid to be friendly again? [more inside]
posted by xo on May 11, 2015 - 18 answers

Work friend, real friend

Now that a new-ish friend has moved to my department at work, I'm less interested in hanging out with her outside of work. Seeing her socially makes me feel like I'm still in work-mode, but I love her as a friend. Tips for handling this like a nice, reasonable, caring human? [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing on May 8, 2015 - 10 answers


A friend I hadn't seen in a decade came to visit me a few months ago, and during the visit I realized I no longer want to be friends with her. Since then I've avoided calls and messages, or responded that I don't feel like talking right now. She continues to contact me, and I'm wondering what the best way to deal with this is. Lots (and lots) of detail inside. [more inside]
posted by odayoday on May 5, 2015 - 19 answers

Is it an indian gift or a rip off?

What would you do? My friend Ted and I have a disagreement about a pool cue that has fractured our relationship. Ted says I broke an agreement to trade with him for a cue case. He said I screwed him because when he showed up on Monday with the case I told him another friend, Dan had bought the cue over the weekend. I'll return to this in a moment but there is an element to this dispute regarding Gene giving me the disputed cue back in 2012 three years ago. [more inside]
posted by Jim_Jam on Apr 29, 2015 - 30 answers

Should I try to help a new friend who I believe is mentally ill?

I recently met a really nice, intelligent, fun girl my age. She believes her coworker, whom I've never met, is trying to ruin her life. Because of this belief, she is fleeing her job and even her apartment. I have reason to suspect it's all in her head. Should I meddle or simply turn a blind eye? I feel bad because I really, really like this girl and want her to get professional help. [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Apr 21, 2015 - 47 answers

Strategies to overcome insecurity/jealousy of husband's female friend?

In the past several months, my husband has become close with one of my female friends, and they have started spending a lot of time together and texting each other almost daily. I'm uncomfortable with this, but I know this is my own issue to overcome because I trust them both and am 100% confident nothing questionable is happening between them. [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Apr 21, 2015 - 95 answers

Making up my mind about job search strategy

Trying to find courage to stay in my current city when comfort at home beckons [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Apr 20, 2015 - 4 answers

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