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It's "banana," not "'nana"

How do I ask a friend to stop speaking in a baby voice? Friend in question is 22 years old. [more inside]
posted by mlo on Jul 21, 2014 - 51 answers

When Is It Good To Let go Of An Internet Friendship?

I've had a two year friendship with someone I've never met but care a great deal for. It is causing a lot of stress. I am unsure how to end it given the intensity of our communication. I have included more in the extended area. [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Jul 18, 2014 - 17 answers

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Lawyers: how do you decline helping out your friends? [more inside]
posted by naju on Jul 14, 2014 - 21 answers

Handling an irresponsible friend

Things have come to a head with a friend, and I want to figure out if I'm right in wanting to cut and run, or if there is something else I should instead be doing. While the friend has her virtues (she's kind, a social butterfly, fun to hang out with), I've come to the conclusion that she is also very irresponsible, and my experiences dealing with this irresponsibility have become a point of stress and frustration in my life. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210 on Jul 13, 2014 - 21 answers

helping others while maintaining my own sanity

I have a friend who is having a horrible life right now and I want to be supportive but I am also having a horrible life right now. How can I help but not put my own mental health at risk? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jul 11, 2014 - 16 answers

A fareweather friend apologizes for being a bad friend, should I care?

I'd already stopped caring a few months ago and it's hard to go back to caring again. [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 25, 2014 - 20 answers

We can be friends if you respect how boring I am.

My friend would like me to go out more. I am not interested. How do I address the tensions this is causing in our friendship? [more inside]
posted by Milau on Jun 25, 2014 - 18 answers

What makes a good Barbecue?

What makes a good Barbecue? [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Jun 21, 2014 - 14 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

Socially awkward human seeks advice on friendship.

A while back, my friend sent me a message confessing his love for me. Awesome, right? Not so much. I failed to reply because I am a socially awkward human being and it was overwhelming at the time and now he has stopped speaking to me entirely. I'm not sure how to fix this, and honestly, I'm not sure if I even want to. [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Jun 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Cat scratch = money fever?

A friend who is catsittting claims that my cat has "gashed" her nose. She included a photo of her face and it's setting off alarm bells. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by wxysock on Jun 5, 2014 - 32 answers

Need help sorting out a very complicated friendship

Just over a year ago, I met this guy, let's call him A, via email. He got in touch with me requesting some of my tutoring services and asked if I were willing to teach him via Skype. This tutoring relationship collapsed after a few months due to a number of factors but he insisted we stay in touch on a more personal level. I quickly learned that he'd gone through a lot in life: abuse, estranged family, homelessness. I wanted to learn about his life and be there for him because it became apparent that he didn't have any fixtures of support in his life whatsoever. The nature of our friendship became more and more intense. All-night phone calls became the norm and it began to have a significant effect on my ability to function in my already hectic life. After several months of this, all of the following have happened: I told him that I felt our friendship was dysfunctional and that we should cease contact, he told me that he couldn't live without me and said he was in love with me. And then made a last-minute trip to visit me. I'm so confused and lost as to how to handle this situation and desperately need perspective. Big ol' wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by csjc on Jun 4, 2014 - 42 answers

Please help me figure out if this friendship is over

I think a friendship that had meant a whole lot to me is over. Part of me is ready to just cut ties and call it a day, but another part of me is loathe to let go of what had been a really fun and meaningful friendship. Details below. [more inside]
posted by shiu mai baby on Jun 4, 2014 - 47 answers

Help me find the Guy on the Train!

Should I try to reconnect with an old high school acquaintance? Or just leave it be? [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Jun 2, 2014 - 18 answers

slow fade isn't working

I have a friend who I consider to be almost family. We used to be extremely close through middle and high school, and probably most of while I was in college. She had a really rough childhood that resulted in PTSD and lasting issues with relationships. Over the past few years our daily lives have become pretty different and I think as she's had less going on she's gotten harder to talk to. I've been trying the slow fade, but she's noticed and I have to figure out how much to explain. [more inside]
posted by sepviva on Jun 2, 2014 - 14 answers

How Can I Reduce My "Fear Of Missing Out" And Relax A Little?

How can I slow down and take time to myself and enjoy it when there is always a constant stream of social invites? How can I stop worrying about missing out on something, and specifically missing out on meeting new romantic chances? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Jun 1, 2014 - 9 answers

My houseguest will be staying for weeks but doesn't have spending money

I agreed to let a friend from out of the country stay with me for almost a month this summer, but now that the visit is getting closer, she has been mentioning that she doesn't have any spending money. Help me make sure this doesn't become my problem! [more inside]
posted by Neely O'Hara on May 30, 2014 - 43 answers

Male co-worker asked me to hang out with him and his girlfriend..

I have been sharing an office with a guy for the last month. We spend 40 hours a week sitting next to each other. Now he asked me to have a day trip with him and his gf on the weekend (just 3 of us). Weird or perfectly fine? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on May 29, 2014 - 37 answers

what to expect when your best friend is expecting?

My best friend is a few weeks out from the birth of her first child. Mom, dad, and baby are healthy and well-appointed. Everything is great! But inspired by anecdotes and first-hand experience, I am growing increasingly terrified that our friendship will necessarily falter and/or fade in light of this incalculably life-altering event. Can folks with similar experience give me a heads-up as to what can, should, or could happen next? Any tips or tricks that might help a person figure out how to offer the right combination of support and space to their new parent friends? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on May 28, 2014 - 36 answers

Friendship flipping-flopping, how to balance it?

Kind of complicated, more under the fold. Just not sure what to do about a seemingly deprecating friendship. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on May 25, 2014 - 25 answers

I have only a little to give but how to draw the line?

I have a needy friend that I have been helping out, but I need to draw a line somehow. Complication: we work together. I can’t let my friend and her son literally starve, but I really am pretty broke. I don’t know how to word things / deal with the situation to tell her I can’t give any more, when she inevitably requests more help. [more inside]
posted by sock puppetron on wheels on May 24, 2014 - 36 answers

My friends paid me for a gift and it hurt my feelings. now what?

At a picnic with some friends, I gave everyone ten-ish minute massages (I am a massage therapist). It was a spontaneous gesture and I really enjoyed doing it. As I was leaving, a friend slipped an envelope in my bag. When I got home and opened it, there was a card with money inside, thanking me for their "first session". I feel like this turned a spontaneous act of goodwill and friendship into a business transaction. I'm hurt, saddened, and a little offended. I didn't want money or ask for it, and I don't think that I said or did anything implying otherwise. Now I feel like I'm not their friend, I'm hired help. How do I address this?
posted by windykites on May 24, 2014 - 22 answers

You're Leaving Me?

Work BFF gets a new job and I don't know how to take it! [more inside]
posted by brynna on May 20, 2014 - 6 answers

A Decade of Exhaustion

One of my oldest friends is also the most difficult. He consistently wants more of my time and energy than I can give, even when I explain that I'm stretched too thin. I'm fond of him, but I need time apart. Challenge: his support system consists of me and no-one else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2014 - 24 answers

You don't know what you don't know, until you know it

I am 21 years old. Currently I am living at home, working two jobs and trying to figure out what to do for school. I am not close to my family, I was kind of neglected as a kid and feel like I lack a lot of basic life skills and understanding of life. I never realized it before but I am very naive and ignorant. I really want to become more successful socially though, but I'm wondering how exactly to catch up or if I can. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 15, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me help a friend, please!

I want to help a good friend who is far away and has some weird health problems. [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on May 10, 2014 - 5 answers

Is it worth it to confront your flaky friends about their flakiness?

If they don't care enough to show up, does it mean they don't care if they hurt my feelings? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Apr 29, 2014 - 29 answers

Where do people who share my values hang out?

Nearly all of my friends are in the fetish scene; of late I have found that the community seems to be full of fair weather good time friends, and largely missing those friends that help you in a pinch. I want to give myself the opportunity to meet people with whom deeper friendships could form. Where should I look? [more inside]
posted by Mistress on Apr 29, 2014 - 19 answers

Would this be nice or creepy?

I want to make my good friend a fancy list of 20 things I really like about her. If I made such a list and gave it to her would that be nice and thoughtful or kinda creepy and overwrought? [more inside]
posted by WinterSolstice on Apr 24, 2014 - 34 answers

Should I meet my friend for the first time in 10 years?

I began an email correspondence 10 years ago with a guy whom I have never met. Now, after reluctantly putting it off for years I would like to meet him but am nervous about how the dynamics may change. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Apr 22, 2014 - 21 answers

Being okay with disliking someone

Have you ever been in a social situation where there was someone who rubbed you the wrong way or who was difficult to deal with but who was kind of inevitably going to be around you? You tried hard to find their good qualities and maybe liked them occasionally but overall just wished you didn't have to interact with them? How did you learn to deal with this situation? Did your relationship with this person ever improve, or did you eventually just learn to live with having negative feelings towards the person? [more inside]
posted by thesnowyslaps on Apr 17, 2014 - 31 answers

Am I being a crazy-person? Immature perhaps?

My close friend of 4 years now spends all their time with a long-lost friend recently resurfaced and I am sad/angry/jealous/ Should I be? More inside :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 4, 2014 - 23 answers

I accidentally "took" my friends job.

My good friend and I applied and were interviewed for the same job at a prestigious organization in our field. I got the job. She didn't. I start Monday. My friend is really mad at me. I haven't felt this awkward and upset about something good happening to me since high school senior year awards night. HELP. [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Mar 25, 2014 - 67 answers

How is chammistry formed?

Do you have any tips on how to behave on early dates to increase romantic chemistry? [more inside]
posted by Mr C on Mar 19, 2014 - 29 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

If everything is temporary anyway, how do I keep caring?

I'm in my mid-thirties - professionally successful, non-sociopath, etc.. When I look behind me, though, my past is littered with the corpses of dead friendships. Two part question: 1. Is this normal? 2. If so, how do I maintain my optimism about current and future friendships? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by missrachael on Mar 11, 2014 - 21 answers

I need to NOT like this person. Immediately.

I've started a real nice friendship with someone in a serious relationship. I can't help it but I feel like I'm starting to develop strong feelings. I need to stop and prevent these thoughts from going any further. [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Mar 7, 2014 - 28 answers

How can I not mess this up?

How do you have a platonic relationship with someone who has expressed non-platonic interest in you? Is this possible? [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Mar 3, 2014 - 22 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

cut off flaky friend?

How to deal with a friend who you really like, who is really unreliable? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Feb 27, 2014 - 26 answers

Dealing with loss of friendshp

How do you deal with a complicated loss of friendship that has no possible resolution? [more inside]
posted by lullu73 on Feb 13, 2014 - 23 answers

Platonically lovely movies?

We're having friends over on Friday to partake in non-romantic love and closeness. There will be a pillow pit in the TV room. What are movies we can put on that fit the mood of the evening? [more inside]
posted by itesser on Feb 9, 2014 - 40 answers

How do you make new friends online these days?

I used to have several friends that I spoke to online regularly, but for one reason or another, these have largely faded away. How and where can I make new ones? [more inside]
posted by Jezri on Feb 8, 2014 - 6 answers

Trying to not burn that bridge

I'm pushing away a (formerly close) friend and don't know how to stop. Please help. [more inside]
posted by SecondSock on Feb 4, 2014 - 14 answers

Friendship woes

How to tell if this a friendship is over - snowflakey wall of text inside [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Feb 4, 2014 - 16 answers

How to set platonic boundaries in a male/female friendship

I'm female and I've developed a close friendship with a guy over the past six months. As often happens, there is attraction beyond just a friendship. However, special snowflake circumstances dictate that we need to stay platonic--perhaps not forever, but certainly for now. I need help in setting boundaries. [more inside]
posted by Rainflower on Feb 4, 2014 - 29 answers

Risks of long-term borrowing a car from a friend?

I have a sudden need for a car for the next several months. An awesome friend has offered to lend me his. What could go wrong? [more inside]
posted by catesbie on Feb 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Give up on long distance friendships?

I moved cross country 4 years ago. It's hard to stay in touch with my friends from back there, and I know people move on and away from friends at times. But I'm thinking I should stop trying to keep a connection with them after an email I sent asking for encouragement was ignored. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 29, 2014 - 30 answers

Dating with PTSD - And Tell Me Cutting Off This "Friend" Was Right

I've got PTSD and am socially isolated in graduate school. I met a hot guy, and had to friend-dump him because he's in a long distance relationship. Tell me I did this right! [more inside]
posted by cheberet on Jan 28, 2014 - 21 answers

I can't afford to celebrate my friends' weddings like this!

Practical: Any ideas for fun-but-cheap bachelorette weekend accommodations or activities around the central East Coast? Context: I'm the last single friend of our group of friends, and the most broke. I'm comfortable with talking about money, but my friends are WASPier types who'd prefer to never, ever discuss anything to do with finances, and tend to change the subject abruptly when it comes up. This is a problem when I'm expected to pitch in for something that I really can't afford, but that everyone else can. I'm thinking the best solution is to pitch an alternative that I can afford. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Jan 28, 2014 - 19 answers

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