933 posts tagged with friendship.
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Is this friendship worth saving? Midlife edition.

I have a good friend who I met at work (same company, different division), and we have known each other a few years. In our last interaction, she behaved in a way which has put me right off and I'm trying to decide if I am being reasonable or not. [more inside]
posted by frumiousb on Aug 23, 2016 - 30 answers

What to do about insecure friend

My friend thinks several of our mutual friends hate her. This is not true, but she is convinced that it is. She has taken to lashing out at me if I spend time with any of these people without her. [more inside]
posted by crunchy_cereals on Aug 22, 2016 - 30 answers

Friendship woes: nothing ever changes, do I stay his friend?

Do I try to keep this friendship, or do I jump ship? [more inside]
posted by bologna on wry on Aug 22, 2016 - 28 answers

Am I attracting the wrong people or am I just ungrateful?

I've been wanting friends for years... now I have them and I can't stand them. Is it me or them? [more inside]
posted by manderin on Aug 17, 2016 - 29 answers

I think I’m being given the silent treatment

How do I deal with a friend/roommate, who apparently seems to think the silent treatment is a valid way of communicating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 16, 2016 - 10 answers

How to Talk to Strangers?

I’m terrible at striking up conversation with people that I don’t know. Some of this is my thought patterns and attitudes, some of it is my anxiety, but I’m realizing more and more that I just never quite learned how to properly do it. [more inside]
posted by gregoryg on Jul 31, 2016 - 14 answers

Seeking small ways to practice gratitude and generosity

What are some little things that you do to express gratitude for / generosity toward people around you, like friends, loved ones, or colleagues, that don't require too much time or money? [more inside]
posted by Owl of Athena on Jul 24, 2016 - 21 answers

My friend is not talking to me (the wedding edition)

I recently got asked to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. It involved extensive travel and money. Friend is not happy with the fact that I was not helpful enough during the wedding ceremony. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jul 24, 2016 - 45 answers

Getting over attachment for long-term friend

How do I get over an unrequited love and move on emotionally/mentally? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2016 - 16 answers

How can I maintain a social life balance when all I want is my SO?

One of the reasons my last long-term relationship failed was because we didn't have any/many friends outside of each other. I want to avoid that in my current relationship, but unlike my last one, my current boyfriend and I love doing all the same things together so it's hard to reconcile doing things separately with friends that we'd prefer to do with each other. [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird on Jul 7, 2016 - 28 answers

Help me wrap my head around a social conundrum in my relationship

I really like my girlfriends' two best friends and their toddler, but she would like me to like them more. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 20 answers

How can I rectify a needy relationship? I was the needy one.

Hello everyone, Gonna try to be as honest as possible so that I get better advice. I'd like insight, and not sympathy. (I mean, sympathy is nice, but truth first.) So, for the past few years, my life has not been ideal, I've moved a lot, had a lot of abusive jobs, and been super isolated. I've been trying to scrape my way out of it, but it's been difficult, and I recently reached a bad, dangerous point with my anxiety. I think I'm only now starting to get out of it. Through all of this, I had a very kind friend who was supportive and tried to help me through it. I didn't view her aid, or her sympathetic ear as out of the norm. I thought she was just being a friend...but I realize how, and this is in her own words, that she was feeling like a counselor, especially since I was not making fast improvement. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Jun 28, 2016 - 24 answers

Love and Freindship

I’m reconsidering friendships I’ve had for over a decade based on an unkind interaction I had with two of them recently via Skype. One of them has an overseas wedding coming up that I need to decide about soon. Should I confront them? Am I overreacting? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2016 - 30 answers

Why did my friend stop talking to me?

I'm 20s, F. My very good friend, 20s, M, abruptly cut off contact. When I approached him about this, he gave me a non-answer. As far as I know, he's been doing well. What happened? [more inside]
posted by fernweh on Jun 14, 2016 - 29 answers

How to avoid invoking cruelty and remain friends, post breakup

I don't like being in relationships, but I enjoy being friends with my exes. I always ask to be friends instead. However, almost all of them have lashed out cruelly either during the breakup or post-breakup. How do I stop causing this behavior? [more inside]
posted by kinoeye on Jun 9, 2016 - 39 answers

Dealing with a compulsive liar...run away or confront?

I met a person that I really enjoy the company of, and feel a very strong connection with. On the other hand, they're a compulsive liar and extremely manipulative. It's gotten to the point where I don't know what is truth and what are lies and having to keep track of it is becoming an obnoxious, draining task that is putting a strain on things. What is my best course of action? [more inside]
posted by Young Kullervo on Jun 4, 2016 - 45 answers

Help me support a friend who will not have a kid?

I have a very good friend who has tried most ways to have a child of her own. (Adoption is not really a possibility as she is not partnered). The ways she has tried have all failed, and she has had medical advice that she is "at the end of the road". Have you been told you won't ever conceive? What did your friends say that helped? Or not say? [more inside]
posted by esto-again on Jun 4, 2016 - 28 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I fade from this friendship?

I have had a good friend for about 2 years. He is also close friend with someone who seems to have a huge amount of animosity towards me and goes out of her way to put me down. She is super nice to him though and he only speaks very positively about her. A lot of bitchy behavior towards me happens in front of him and he always tells me that I am over-reacting or being too negative. Her behavior keeps escalating and I am frankly disappointed that he seems to take her side. Time to cut the friendship off? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on May 28, 2016 - 52 answers

How to ask for help finding a job without being a jerk

I have some quasi-friends that I used to work with, and I feel guilty about not keeping in touch with them. Now I need their help finding a job. Can I email them and say "Hey, I have been ignoring you but now I'm your friend because I need a favor from you," except not be a jerk? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2016 - 18 answers

Sticky Wicket

You are close friends with a couple (Tom and Tina). Tina shares the news with you that she and Tom broke up two weeks ago, they are both devastated and not ready to tell the larger friend group, and they have gone no-contact. Do you reach out to Tom, and if so, how and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2016 - 18 answers

Healthily approaching close friendships with a bit of attraction in them

I'm a guy and have this lovely female friend of mine who I get along with fantastically. The two of us have a supportive, companionable friendship, and are seeing each other frequently; we're both really enjoying the dynamic we've been having. For special snowflake reasons, though, it's better that I don't endeavor towards dating her for the meanwhile. Please give me your perspective: help me to manage my expectations to better maintain this friendship. [more inside]
posted by a good beginning on May 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Need advice on helping my wife cope with her best friend moving away

My wife just learned her best friend is moving to a different city and is now very sad. How can I help? [more inside]
posted by glenngulia on May 5, 2016 - 7 answers

Late-twenties guy with no friends?

I'm a late-twenties guy with no friends. I feel like I need to get out of this situation somehow. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2016 - 37 answers

The When Harry Met Sally of Books

Give me your best books featuring a male/female friendship that turns romantic or has romantic undertones. Can be funny or tragic, main plot or subplot, old or new book or characters. Doesn't have to end with them together. It just needs to be a GOOD read. [more inside]
posted by sallybrown on Apr 16, 2016 - 23 answers

Missing a wedding because of work

I'm double-booked -- I have a very important work commitment (a PhD viva) scheduled on the same weekend as my friend's wedding which is a six hour flight away. I can't reschedule the viva, but this is also one of my closest friends in the world and I know she will hate it if I don't come. What, if anything, can I do to make it up to her?
posted by Aravis76 on Apr 12, 2016 - 29 answers

Help me not be a kissing bully, because I really want to kiss you.

I really want to kiss someone NOW. I don't want to make the same impulsive, intense (?) mistake that I made in the past, but I'm also too old (late 40s) to wait around passively and wonder. I worry that I'm developing feelings that may not actually be reciprocated despite obvious attraction and personal interest. So I need to find out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2016 - 21 answers

How do I stop lashing out?

I have a very destructive pattern in most of my relationships and friendships. The closer the relationship is, the worse it gets. I can usually always maintain composure at work but personal life is another story. After I lash out, I say so many nasty and hurtful things that the friendship/relationship is irrecoverably damaged or ends all together. How to change this? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 3, 2016 - 17 answers

How do you stay in touch?

I have some friends I love who live far away, like other-side-of-the-world far away. The ones who are on facebook give me a bit more to work with, I can see when their kids have a birthday or when they announce big news, but the others? Well, we're drifting apart in a bigger way than I'd like. What do you do to stay close with dear friends you can't see or talk to often? [more inside]
posted by stellathon on Mar 29, 2016 - 10 answers

"You look/eat fine!" ... ? Responding to body/eating-disordered talk

A close friend of mine is [in recovery/maybe teetering on the edge of relapse] from an eating disorder. He often makes remarks to me about how he eats too much, hates part of his body, is fat, et cetera. I find myself confused as to how to respond to these remarks in a kind, compassionate way that neither confirms his very negative thoughts, nor feels just completely invalidating. Is this possible? On a more serious note, would it do any good to indicate I'm concerned for him? Advice heavily desired. [more inside]
posted by The Sock Puppet Sentience Movement on Mar 27, 2016 - 12 answers

How to cheer up a friend who made a big mistake?

Someone close to me just made a HUGE mistake at work. How can I cheer them up without minimizing the situation or being preachy? [more inside]
posted by Tarumba on Mar 16, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I get over this friend breakup?

I've been dumped. I have no idea how to handle it. Bonus difficulty: I am a late-40s woman and the dumper is/was my best friend of many years. I'm in a state of confusion and sadness. I live a life that never, ever has this level of personal drama, so while the rest of you have been asking these questions here, I've been whistling along, thinking it doesn't relate to me. Now it does. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2016 - 22 answers

Who am I?

I'm 28 and my life is a mess and I don't know where to start fixing it. A big part of the problem is that I don't feel like I have any sense of who I am. How can I find out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2016 - 18 answers

Should I have a fling or continue my not-quite-vow of celibacy ?

I have met a man who I think *may* be open to this & who is moving in 2 months - but I recently promised myself no casual sex/relationship only. What would you do? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Mar 10, 2016 - 26 answers

How best to support my friend?

A friend of my close friend took his own life a couple of nights ago. My friend is pretty wrecked. What's the best way for me to support him? [more inside]
posted by holborne on Mar 9, 2016 - 19 answers

Step by step self-reliance

The past year I've been in a stressful situation and now I found that I may have been overly reliant on a friend for advice/help. Lately I realized this a imbalanced relationship and I'm looking for steps set boundaries and prevent this in the future. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Mar 2, 2016 - 4 answers

Fallen off the face of the earth

My friend has stopped communicating with everyone around them. How much should I try to get in contact? Should I leave it be? [more inside]
posted by Gordafarin on Feb 29, 2016 - 15 answers

Supporting a friend putting his cat down.

I've been supporting a friend with major mental health issues through finding out his cat was sick. It's been a rough ride for both of us and now he's finally decided that it's time to put her down later today. He's asked me to help him so I thought it would be a good idea of I knew what's going to happen and what kind of things people found helpful to them at this sad time. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Feb 28, 2016 - 26 answers

How do I handle my friend's owing me money?

A very close friend owes me $1000 and has for several years. I don't feel great about it. I'm not sure how I should handle this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2016 - 48 answers

What do I do with this relationship?

I met this guy several years ago. We had a fantastic friendship, which was temporarily torpedoed by a failed attempt to make it romantic. We are now friends again, on a long distance basis, but I am worried that his attitude is shifting and he may want to give the couple option another try. Should I say or do something? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2016 - 18 answers

Tips for being a better listener

How to incentivize myself to talk about myself less? It turns out I love talking about myself (monologuing), but I want to love listening. Tell me your tips and tricks! [more inside]
posted by robot cat on Feb 9, 2016 - 9 answers

A friendship ending unexpectedly

A friend who has meant the world to me has ended our friendship because...well, I'm not sure. [more inside]
posted by Champagne Supernova on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

Female friend zone

I have been close friends with this guy for about 1.5 years. We slept together and had some sort of semi-dating thing going for a couple of months when we first met. Then it fizzled out and I was more hurt by this than I anticipated. As of recently, he is now in a serious relationship. It bothers me. Time to cut the friendship? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Feb 7, 2016 - 16 answers

Faraway mom friend and newborn: how to help?

One of my best friends from childhood just gave birth to her second child, a ten-pound boy, in an ice storm. Yikes! We've been texting, and she's had a challenging time with it so far. What can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by witchen on Jan 31, 2016 - 16 answers

Friendship after a break up

If you are someone who is or has been good friends with an ex-partner, how does that happen and what does it look like? What do you think are the necessary conditions for this to happen? How do you navigate feelings and boundaries? What are timelines like (ie is there a cooling off period involved)? Do you get jealous of their new partners? Thanks in advance. [more inside]
posted by mossicle on Jan 23, 2016 - 17 answers

Remembering and having the confidence to reach out to people

It is a longstanding habit of mine to assume I am "bothering" people if I reach out to them by, say, wanting to spend time with them or talk to them (how terrible!) unless we are already interacting for a reason that was not my doing (an activity, work, them coming to me). I am also in the habit of just not reaching out even with the few people I am confident I am not bothering. [more inside]
posted by picardythird on Jan 17, 2016 - 11 answers

No sense of belonging

For as long as I can remember, I have not had a sense of belonging. I don't mean that I can't make friends or establish social networks; I don't have a problem with that, though I'm shy. But I never really feel like part of a group. Why do I feel this way, and how do I change this? [more inside]
posted by thetortoise on Jan 15, 2016 - 23 answers

Wait, you like me? Why?

I have developed a sort of uncertain romantic situation with a girl at my college. It's really the first time that I've been close to anyone in this way, or at all, and I am afraid that my self-hatred and self-absorption is getting in the way of a proper human relationship, as friends or otherwise. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Jan 9, 2016 - 13 answers

Okay, but am I *really* invited to your wedding?

A few months ago I got an invitation to the wedding of an old friend. ("old"=we were close friends a long time ago; I've seen him two or three times in the last decade and we're barely in touch online). It's far away from me, and we're not close anymore. Does he actually want me to come, or is this just a thing people do? The RSVP date is next week, so it's decision time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2016 - 28 answers

I want to be a good partner, but I don't have one!

I'm single at 40 after being coupled for my entire adult life. One of the things I'm missing the most is not having anyone reach for me (literally or figuratively!) because they want or need me. How can I stop letting this bother me? [more inside]
posted by metasarah on Dec 28, 2015 - 9 answers

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