We dated for quite a while, but it didn't work out and we've ended up as good friends. But now I'm entering a serious relationship for the first time since it ended, and the shift in my attention seems to be rattling her. How can I handle this gracefully?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 12, 2012 -
39 answers
I want to go to this festival with my friends but not if they're going to do tons of drugs. Can I avoid an ultimatum?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 11, 2012 -
32 answers
I find myself having an extra car and a close friend who needs one. Difficulty: I promised to not sell this car.
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posted by snsranch
on Jun 10, 2012 -
23 answers
I have social anxiety that psychs me out about making plans. I moved to a new city about seven months ago and still haven't seen old friends and extended family members that I really should see. Even though I enjoy hanging out with them, thinking about hanging out with them can feel like a stressful chore. I'm trying to get it together to see them and start being social, but a) how do I explain that I DO like them and am not trying to be a dismissive jerk and b) how can I stop having this problem?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 7, 2012 -
11 answers
I used to be very shy. Through years of pushing myself (I'm 33 now), I've become pretty amazingly functional. But I find myself in an unexpected spot. While I very much want to be around people and I
can now handle it without freezing up, my experience of actually being around people is one of gritted teeth and willpower. There's very little joy in it. In theory, I'd like nothing more than a bushel of friends hanging out in my kitchen on a Sunday night. In practice, I push myself into social situations like dunking my arm in freezing water, pulling it out with a huge sigh of relief as soon as I let myself. That's not a recipe for forging new friendships, which I know take time and certain amount of vulnerability. What can I do to take myself to the next level -- from functional to genuinely friendly? Do people ever make it to the next level? On the phobia scale, it's not enough for me to be able to let a spider crawl on my arm without having a panic attack, I need to be able to lay down in a cave full of spiders and love it. (I've been in therapy for a year, but aside from that, I'd like to hear from you all.)
posted by anonymous
on Jun 7, 2012 -
21 answers
I've achieved the absolutely perfect FWB situation. Absolutely perfect aside from the fact that I can't stand him.
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posted by ad4pt
on Jun 4, 2012 -
32 answers
I am nervous(totally) about meeting bunch of strangers and the thought they are all there to meet me.
How do you handle this? what kind of conversations would you have with them?
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posted by daveg02
on May 18, 2012 -
23 answers
I've been failing on getting some friends to go out and do stuff with me, and need some help figuring out what I can do to get better success.
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posted by garlic
on May 18, 2012 -
15 answers
Question for the "guess culture" people: If a friend wants to leave a gift I gave her behind at my house for a year, is that likely to be her way of saying she doesn't really want it? Does that mean I can treat the gift as mine?
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posted by lollusc
on May 12, 2012 -
48 answers
I recently left an environment where almost everyone has the same style of dealing with political differences, and the same purpose in political discussion. Now I'm having to deal with entirely different ones, with friends and loved ones, and it's causing conflict. Who's right? Is anyone right? And how can I minimize the problems?
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posted by corb
on Apr 25, 2012 -
14 answers
I got lost in post-divorce crazytown when I was dropped by a friend. We are in our 40's but it feels like a teenage nightmare. Now he's checking in and I don't know how to respond!
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posted by Fierce clam
on Apr 21, 2012 -
21 answers
So my girlfriend has a few very close guy friends she often hangs around with. I guess shes had mix ups with girls and shes also interested in a lot of traditionally male things. Shes very pretty though, which may help her attract guy friends.
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posted by johnx
on Apr 8, 2012 -
47 answers
I think I've forgotten how to be a sociable person and how to make friends and such. Help!
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 7, 2012 -
24 answers
Japanese friend/relationship advice. She all of a sudden became very cold and distant, and I don't understand why. What should I do?
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posted by iamcrispy
on Apr 6, 2012 -
26 answers
I thought that, once upon a time, my Facebook privacy settings were pretty locked down. Now, it seems like everyone on my friends list can see things I do on other friends' pages. Can I stop this?
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posted by synecdoche
on Apr 2, 2012 -
8 answers
A model friend of mine is due to work with a photographer about whom I've heard unsavoury (sexual harassment of models-related) rumours. She's an experienced pro model so would likely not take that kind of crap, but I wonder whether I should pass on my information to her (it is at best second hand), or whether I should just keep my mouth shut (for fear of spreading vicious rumours that might be unfounded).
FWIW (not much) I have met, and don't particularly like, the photographer in question.
Any advice?
posted by gmb
on Mar 24, 2012 -
11 answers
My group of friends is having trouble with one member and are completely baffled as to how to handle this.
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posted by buteo
on Mar 24, 2012 -
55 answers
I am angry at everyone who tries to be friendly with me because of a repeated thing that has happened to me socially and with my family as well. I really don't want to become bitter and friendless but I either feel like I'm putting on an act or I get angry.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 22, 2012 -
19 answers
I did some out of character, stupid things while in the middle of a long nervous breakdown. I told many of my close friends. Now how do I handle the shame?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 21, 2012 -
15 answers
I'm a great, funny guy. I'm decent looking. I end up friends with everyone I want to date because I don't want to be "that guy" and make them feel uncomfortable by making some stupid, awkward "move". Thoughts?
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posted by peripatetic007
on Mar 13, 2012 -
63 answers
My partner recently moved to NYC from the Northwest. Help me help him (geeky, science-loving, and politically active) find friends that aren't already mine!
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posted by corb
on Feb 21, 2012 -
22 answers
There's a girl who keeps inviting herself to group gatherings, and now she's invited herself along on a trip I planned. I really don't want her there, but how do I get rid of her without creating a big scene?
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posted by cyml
on Feb 9, 2012 -
32 answers
Where is the best city for a single male software developer to start over? (Excluding DC, which is where I am now)
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posted by villafoyager
on Feb 8, 2012 -
37 answers
Help me explain depression to my well meaning (I think) but clueless friends and family. Looking for an article or a blog that I can direct them to.
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posted by tulip-socks
on Jan 13, 2012 -
25 answers
I absolutely hate the idea of choosing people to stand by my side at the altar. I have friends from all different stages of life whom I care for very much (childhood, high school, college, grad school, work, etc.) and I loathe the idea of "picking" some and not others. What do I do?
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posted by murfed13
on Jan 11, 2012 -
28 answers
