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My spouse and I are ending our marriage, and I would appreciate advice on how and when I should tell people.

We pretty much decided to do this a couple months ago, but I hadn't talked about it with anyone out of hope that we would reconcile. Recent events have made it clear that this isn't going to happen. Now I want to know how long I should wait before I explain what's happening to my child, family, friends, and acquaintances.

Tips on how I should raise the issue are also appreciated. Obviously telling my parents will require a different approach than telling, e.g., my boss. My spouse and I are both fairly introverted, and few of my friends are acquainted, so I can't count on this information spreading itself through any circle of friends. Without forcing anyone to chose sides or evoking pity, I am simply looking to minimize the inevitable awkwardness facing me.

I will definitely seek the help of a therapist, especially for guidance on how best to guide my first-grader (whose emotional well-being is most important to me) through this very difficult thing. However, I'm also interested in the input of anyone who has either been through this situation or know someone who has.
posted on Oct 31, 2004 - 14 answers