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I don't have friends.

I'm interested in improving my social or networking skills for a better perspective on life. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Jul 28, 2014 - 5 answers

Trying to make a change in my life, but I don't know where to start?

I am in a weird phase of my life where I want to change some things. I have always been a rather antisocial person and for the first time ever I am dying to get out and be social. I am also wondering where I will end up and what my goals in life truly are. I also want to get healthier, eat better, be more productive. Truth is, I don't know where to start? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Jul 24, 2014 - 9 answers

How to deal with friend that invites others along?

I have a friend i've known for almost 6 years now and recently we started taking weekend trips to a comic convention every March since we only see each other twice a year. She's invited someone she's friends with and her 3 year old daughter to come with us, i've never met her and i really don't want to spend my weekend with someone's fussy 3 year old. How do you handle something like this? [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Jul 23, 2014 - 85 answers

Should we pay friends to babysit?

Mrs. Zooropa and I have a 17-month old, and are finally having a date night tomorrow night. We are new to the area, and have few friends and no family nearby. A co-worker of mine and his wife have agreed to babysit for us. Here's our quandary: do we pay them? [more inside]
posted by zooropa on Jul 18, 2014 - 35 answers

I think I'm really depressed , will therapy help?

When dealing with depression, what has worked for you . . medications, etc? I don't want to rely too heavily on friends for this, because I have in the past, and they tend to want to avoid you if you tend to talk about it too much. [more inside]
posted by jeepwrnglrwmn on Jul 11, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me make my friends laugh... in less than 24 hours.

In about 24 hours I will be picking up old friends from the airport and taking them to a rented apartment in the city, near where I live. They will be tired and jet-lagged so I wanted to make their first day as hassle-free and pleasant as possible. At the same time, they have a goofy sense of humor and I would love to play a prank on them. Can you help me make them laugh? [more inside]
posted by M. on Jul 1, 2014 - 19 answers

Who am I and why should I matter to a boss, a boyfriend, or a friend?

What methods would you recommend to someone looking to develop a sense of self and a more accurate sense of their own value if they've spent most of their life defining themselves and their worth through their grades, their job, and their partner? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Jun 28, 2014 - 21 answers

Need some of that quiet confidence.

I've been dating a great person for about 4 months. She's really outgoing, charming, attractive, and funny, and people just love her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2014 - 20 answers

I Feel Like I Won the House Lottery

How do I remain gracefully excited about the beautiful new home I'll be moving into? I've been gibbering insanely to anyone who asks, but I want to develop a solid library of tasteful adult answers that quietly acknowledge my good fortune but still channel my enthusiasm. [more inside]
posted by brisquette on Jun 27, 2014 - 24 answers

How to not be needy while still having needs

How do I let my friend know that her lack of communication is hurting my feelings, without sounding needy or desperate? [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso on Jun 14, 2014 - 10 answers

Bachelorette in DC?

Looking for a couple of nice, loungey spaces for a gathering of about 6 pretty relaxed women (mid-20's) in DC on a Thursday evening. The bride is pretty low-key, but loves 90's dance music. Ideally, we would: 1) relax at a pool during the afternoon 2) Have a relaxed dinner 3) Drinks at a lounge or low-key club Looking for suggestions for #1 and #3! Thank you!
posted by brynna on Jun 10, 2014 - 7 answers

Need help sorting out a very complicated friendship

Just over a year ago, I met this guy, let's call him A, via email. He got in touch with me requesting some of my tutoring services and asked if I were willing to teach him via Skype. This tutoring relationship collapsed after a few months due to a number of factors but he insisted we stay in touch on a more personal level. I quickly learned that he'd gone through a lot in life: abuse, estranged family, homelessness. I wanted to learn about his life and be there for him because it became apparent that he didn't have any fixtures of support in his life whatsoever. The nature of our friendship became more and more intense. All-night phone calls became the norm and it began to have a significant effect on my ability to function in my already hectic life. After several months of this, all of the following have happened: I told him that I felt our friendship was dysfunctional and that we should cease contact, he told me that he couldn't live without me and said he was in love with me. And then made a last-minute trip to visit me. I'm so confused and lost as to how to handle this situation and desperately need perspective. Big ol' wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by csjc on Jun 4, 2014 - 42 answers

slow fade isn't working

I have a friend who I consider to be almost family. We used to be extremely close through middle and high school, and probably most of while I was in college. She had a really rough childhood that resulted in PTSD and lasting issues with relationships. Over the past few years our daily lives have become pretty different and I think as she's had less going on she's gotten harder to talk to. I've been trying the slow fade, but she's noticed and I have to figure out how much to explain. [more inside]
posted by sepviva on Jun 2, 2014 - 14 answers

How Can I Reduce My "Fear Of Missing Out" And Relax A Little?

How can I slow down and take time to myself and enjoy it when there is always a constant stream of social invites? How can I stop worrying about missing out on something, and specifically missing out on meeting new romantic chances? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Jun 1, 2014 - 9 answers

Help me respect people in my life that don't seem like they are trying.

It feels like people in my life aren't trying hard enough, but as I have felt this way multiple times now, I realize the problem is within me. My life has been pretty easy because I try really hard and get good results. Does anyone have any perspectives/advice for me? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on May 14, 2014 - 75 answers

How do I have an honest, ethical fling with a friend-of-a-friend?

I have never had a legitimate fling before. Lately I've been showing a lot more potential for it. I was kind of a late bloomer- I skipped the crazy college years because I was engaged to one guy during all of that (and was also a very different, more prudish and sheltered person at the time)- and then I moved around a lot and worked a lot and only dated a few other people. I don’t know what I’m doing. This is all new to me. I’ve made out with random guys in bars a couple of times and flirted with the idea, but that’s as far as it’s gone. Stranger sex has never really appealed to me- I always thought that a friend-of-a-friend would be perfect for a fling. But maybe not if it’s too close to home. So, how do I do this? Is there a way to have an ethical and honest fling and not hurt anyone’s feelings and still be friends with my friends? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on May 13, 2014 - 56 answers

Help me find work-life balance as a recent college graduate.

I graduated college a year ago, and I'm having trouble acclimating to my new life. Plenty of special snowflake info inside, but I would love any tools or anecdotes about how your life changed after college. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Apr 25, 2014 - 46 answers

Give me your best weekend-away-with-friends ideas!

I'm going away for the long weekend with 6 friends (we are 4 girls and 3 guys, from mid-twenties to early thirties). We've got a sweet house booked in a nearby country town and we plan on doing a bit of wandering around town, but mostly holing up in the house in front of the open fire, drinking wine, playing board games and enjoying each other's company. I'm looking for awesome ideas of fun stuff to bring and/or do. Drinking games, non-drinking games, things we can cook or bake, challenges for the weekend, that sort of thing. I'm thinking pancakes, I'm thinking blanket fort... anything that works with 7 people and is fun, throw it at me!
posted by lovedbymarylane on Apr 24, 2014 - 12 answers

What do I do when okcupid intersects real life?

So, I was always terrified of this happening, but then I got over it. Well, it turns out I was right- eventually, if I stay on okcupid long enough, I'm going to hit the end of single men my age in my city. [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 17, 2014 - 37 answers

I think I like-like him.

Are we friends? Are we dating? How do I find out without ruining everything? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 9, 2014 - 28 answers

What's the best way to deal with contrary people?

I have a friend who I like very much, but has an annoying habit of contradicting many things I say. I've met people like this occasionally before, and I'm curious about how to deal with it. I can't tell if it comes from a need for control or feeling "right," or if it's intellectual interest in digging into whatever we're talking about by playing the devil's advocate. Or both. My friend does this in a somewhat playful and not particularly strident way, but I still find it annoying. Is there something I can say to help make him aware of this? Sometimes I find myself agreeing with his position just because I find the discussion wearing.
posted by three_red_balloons on Apr 6, 2014 - 46 answers

Giving up on other people

If you have failed at forming relationships (of any kind), is there a point where you should just accept you don't have the skills and are incapable of developing them? [more inside]
posted by Aranquis on Apr 6, 2014 - 40 answers

Home-buying filter: How do we determine a fair share of equity?

How do you split equity in a new home between friends when one is contributing cash and the other grants? [more inside]
posted by Dalton on Mar 30, 2014 - 11 answers

I accidentally "took" my friends job.

My good friend and I applied and were interviewed for the same job at a prestigious organization in our field. I got the job. She didn't. I start Monday. My friend is really mad at me. I haven't felt this awkward and upset about something good happening to me since high school senior year awards night. HELP. [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Mar 25, 2014 - 67 answers

A first world problem if there ever was one.

How do I get my friends to be friends with each other? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Mar 24, 2014 - 27 answers

How to tackle the awkwardness of bumping into an ex?

Help me deal with the awkwardness of seeing my ex probably tomorrow. [more inside]
posted by Attozes on Mar 24, 2014 - 16 answers

Is it Normal To Feel Tension Around My Boyfriend's Friends?

I've a question, which is a conundrum. I'm a female newly involved with a fantastic guy I've known nine years. While generally I’m okay with my boyfriend’s friends (male and female) there are two males I’m completely uncomfortable around. The friends I’m uncomfortable around give me a strange vibe: One does not look at me at all when I’m around him, the other friend wishes to lean on my boyfriend constantly – he has made no effort to know me, does not know what I do, who I am – he will however call my boyfriend to get advice and ask for help (this friend is older as well.) I’ve listened to both of these guys but feel uneasy around them when in their company because I feel as though it is a chore to smile and act interested. I also feel they want something from my boyfriend with no regard for his relationship and time. [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Mar 16, 2014 - 23 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

Asking an Old Friend for Job Help

I'm out of work right now and am doing everything I can to network myself into employment. I recently noticed a job for which I'd be qualified at a large, prestigious company where an old friend is a major player. I haven't talked to him in six years. Can I approach him for an employee referral, and if so, how? [more inside]
posted by pineappleheart on Feb 21, 2014 - 19 answers

I just don't know what to do with myself.

I'm having trouble meeting people near my area. Any helpful suggestions? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Feb 19, 2014 - 11 answers

So. Whats new with you?

I just found out a good friend of mine from high school (whom I lost contact with in college) is a recovering heroin addict. Should I try to contact her? I found out in a very indirect way—details inside. [more inside]
posted by fontophilic on Feb 11, 2014 - 22 answers

Platonically lovely movies?

We're having friends over on Friday to partake in non-romantic love and closeness. There will be a pillow pit in the TV room. What are movies we can put on that fit the mood of the evening? [more inside]
posted by itesser on Feb 9, 2014 - 40 answers

I don't have and cant keep girl friends ... why?

Since breaking up with my husband a few years ago I resolved to make some female friends. I've never really had girl friends, because I've always had a boyfriend and/or kind of liked doing things by myself (working by myself, writing, starting companies, etc.) I managed to become friends with a few women but I can't get close to them for one reason or another. First, I don't drink or smoke and find the girls I've 'befriended' to have too many vices (they smoke weed, spend time with other friends drinking or partying, have questionable morals (e.g. they are the other woman in their relationship, or have been involved in heavy drugs, etc.) for me to feel like we have a lot in common. I realize.. (contd inside) [more inside]
posted by soooo on Feb 9, 2014 - 41 answers

The case of the un-responded-to text message

A former colleague got in touch to hang out. I didn't respond, but I actually wanted to. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2014 - 16 answers

This feels very seventh-grade

A mutual friend is excluding my best friend from group events, and it's making me feel terrible. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Jan 30, 2014 - 20 answers

Paranoid about people being disingenious

How do I overcome this fear/paranoia? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Jan 27, 2014 - 16 answers

Different Life Tracks

How to deal with friends moving in different directions in life/feeling left behind? [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Jan 26, 2014 - 12 answers

choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

How do I know if I'm getting the brush off?

In a situation where I'm meeting up with people whom I'm potentially getting to know, how do I know if I'm getting the brush off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2014 - 18 answers

Where can I go searching for a volunteer non-executive board member?

My small business needs an independent 3rd party to keep a weather eye on us and ensure we stop slacking. Where should I go looking to find someone experienced who could give us 2 hours of their time every month for next-to-do nothing? [more inside]
posted by ajp on Jan 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Joining a bible study group for the friends, not the faith - is it okay?

I graduated from college about 8 months ago and have since moved back to my home town to work. In those 8 months, I haven't really spent any time with folks my own age (outside of a little online dating), and to be frank, I've been lonely. By a crazy coincidence, I ran into a girl I knew in high school at a coffee shop recently, we caught up over lunch, and she invited me to her "20 somethings" bible group. Not being a religious guy, I was expecting to leave with a bad taste in my mouth and a funny story but... [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Jan 7, 2014 - 42 answers

A Supposedly Fun Thing that Will Hopefully Actually Be Fun

Cruise recommendations for two female BFFs in their 30s? [more inside]
posted by Jess the Mess on Jan 2, 2014 - 11 answers

Keeping friends in the loop?

Last night, while capping off a great day out, my girlfriend stumbled upon a big table crowded with friends she knew from before we met. It created a wave of sadness and nostalgia on her part that I could not do much about but listen. We go on several dates each month. I am working really hard to make our life more certain and rich but see clearly that I am not able to provide enough group experiences that my girlfriend would enjoy. I like to entertain but she is tired of always having everyone at our house. I can find lots of groups to join. I really want to ask her friends not to forget about us when they are going for a night out. What are some tactics I could use to do this?
posted by parmanparman on Dec 29, 2013 - 8 answers

When to follow up about following up?

I met an old classmate at a party recently and would like to reconnect. I emailed her about asking her to hang, but I've gotten no response. What next? Social anxiety-colored snowflakes abound. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2013 - 8 answers

How to best deal with a despised close friend of my SO?

For reasons that I find entirely justifiable, I despise one of my significant other's closest friends. Until recently, we have gotten along, and although he treats his girlfriend terribly and frequently complains about their relationship to my SO and me, I thought he was just unhappy in his relationship, and dismissed it. Recent events have brought to light that, not only does he dislike me deep down, it appears he genuinely thinks of women in general as nothing more than inconsequential beasts with breasts that somehow continue to exists despite their obvious stupidity and inability to do anything of value. Obviously this revelation makes me a little uncomfortable with the idea of he and my SO cavorting about together without me being around to deter the "I hate women" diatribe. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Dec 19, 2013 - 32 answers

How to mend a broken 5+ year friendship

Friend and I had a blow out 4 months ago. We've been friends before that for 5+ years. She's ignored my previous initiatives to reach out and try to apologize and talk things out. Is there any hope? Or should I just leave this alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2013 - 21 answers

Making friends in Los Angeles

Making friends in Los Angeles [more inside]
posted by DeltaForce on Dec 9, 2013 - 14 answers

forgiveness

How do you know when you've truly forgiven someone? How do you let go of old pain when you've long ago forgiven the person who caused it? Is it possible to truly forgive someone but still not want them in your life? [more inside]
posted by evil otto on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

I would prefer not to spend time with my friend when she is very stoned

Is there any good way to tell a dear friend I don’t really want to chat on the phone or spend long periods of time with her when she’s very, very stoned? [more inside]
posted by JayAlfred on Nov 28, 2013 - 14 answers

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