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I think I like-like him.

Are we friends? Are we dating? How do I find out without ruining everything? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 9, 2014 - 28 answers

 

What's the best way to deal with contrary people?

I have a friend who I like very much, but has an annoying habit of contradicting many things I say. I've met people like this occasionally before, and I'm curious about how to deal with it. I can't tell if it comes from a need for control or feeling "right," or if it's intellectual interest in digging into whatever we're talking about by playing the devil's advocate. Or both. My friend does this in a somewhat playful and not particularly strident way, but I still find it annoying. Is there something I can say to help make him aware of this? Sometimes I find myself agreeing with his position just because I find the discussion wearing.
posted by three_red_balloons on Apr 6, 2014 - 46 answers

Giving up on other people

If you have failed at forming relationships (of any kind), is there a point where you should just accept you don't have the skills and are incapable of developing them? [more inside]
posted by Aranquis on Apr 6, 2014 - 40 answers

Home-buying filter: How do we determine a fair share of equity?

How do you split equity in a new home between friends when one is contributing cash and the other grants? [more inside]
posted by Dalton on Mar 30, 2014 - 11 answers

I accidentally "took" my friends job.

My good friend and I applied and were interviewed for the same job at a prestigious organization in our field. I got the job. She didn't. I start Monday. My friend is really mad at me. I haven't felt this awkward and upset about something good happening to me since high school senior year awards night. HELP. [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Mar 25, 2014 - 67 answers

A first world problem if there ever was one.

How do I get my friends to be friends with each other? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Mar 24, 2014 - 27 answers

How to tackle the awkwardness of bumping into an ex?

Help me deal with the awkwardness of seeing my ex probably tomorrow. [more inside]
posted by Attozes on Mar 24, 2014 - 16 answers

Is it Normal To Feel Tension Around My Boyfriend's Friends?

I've a question, which is a conundrum. I'm a female newly involved with a fantastic guy I've known nine years. While generally I’m okay with my boyfriend’s friends (male and female) there are two males I’m completely uncomfortable around. The friends I’m uncomfortable around give me a strange vibe: One does not look at me at all when I’m around him, the other friend wishes to lean on my boyfriend constantly – he has made no effort to know me, does not know what I do, who I am – he will however call my boyfriend to get advice and ask for help (this friend is older as well.) I’ve listened to both of these guys but feel uneasy around them when in their company because I feel as though it is a chore to smile and act interested. I also feel they want something from my boyfriend with no regard for his relationship and time. [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Mar 16, 2014 - 23 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

Asking an Old Friend for Job Help

I'm out of work right now and am doing everything I can to network myself into employment. I recently noticed a job for which I'd be qualified at a large, prestigious company where an old friend is a major player. I haven't talked to him in six years. Can I approach him for an employee referral, and if so, how? [more inside]
posted by pineappleheart on Feb 21, 2014 - 17 answers

I just don't know what to do with myself.

I'm having trouble meeting people near my area. Any helpful suggestions? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Feb 19, 2014 - 11 answers

So. Whats new with you?

I just found out a good friend of mine from high school (whom I lost contact with in college) is a recovering heroin addict. Should I try to contact her? I found out in a very indirect way—details inside. [more inside]
posted by fontophilic on Feb 11, 2014 - 22 answers

Platonically lovely movies?

We're having friends over on Friday to partake in non-romantic love and closeness. There will be a pillow pit in the TV room. What are movies we can put on that fit the mood of the evening? [more inside]
posted by itesser on Feb 9, 2014 - 40 answers

I don't have and cant keep girl friends ... why?

Since breaking up with my husband a few years ago I resolved to make some female friends. I've never really had girl friends, because I've always had a boyfriend and/or kind of liked doing things by myself (working by myself, writing, starting companies, etc.) I managed to become friends with a few women but I can't get close to them for one reason or another. First, I don't drink or smoke and find the girls I've 'befriended' to have too many vices (they smoke weed, spend time with other friends drinking or partying, have questionable morals (e.g. they are the other woman in their relationship, or have been involved in heavy drugs, etc.) for me to feel like we have a lot in common. I realize.. (contd inside) [more inside]
posted by soooo on Feb 9, 2014 - 41 answers

The case of the un-responded-to text message

A former colleague got in touch to hang out. I didn't respond, but I actually wanted to. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2014 - 16 answers

This feels very seventh-grade

A mutual friend is excluding my best friend from group events, and it's making me feel terrible. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Jan 30, 2014 - 20 answers

Paranoid about people being disingenious

How do I overcome this fear/paranoia? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Jan 27, 2014 - 16 answers

Different Life Tracks

How to deal with friends moving in different directions in life/feeling left behind? [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Jan 26, 2014 - 12 answers

choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

How do I know if I'm getting the brush off?

In a situation where I'm meeting up with people whom I'm potentially getting to know, how do I know if I'm getting the brush off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2014 - 18 answers

Where can I go searching for a volunteer non-executive board member?

My small business needs an independent 3rd party to keep a weather eye on us and ensure we stop slacking. Where should I go looking to find someone experienced who could give us 2 hours of their time every month for next-to-do nothing? [more inside]
posted by ajp on Jan 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Joining a bible study group for the friends, not the faith - is it okay?

I graduated from college about 8 months ago and have since moved back to my home town to work. In those 8 months, I haven't really spent any time with folks my own age (outside of a little online dating), and to be frank, I've been lonely. By a crazy coincidence, I ran into a girl I knew in high school at a coffee shop recently, we caught up over lunch, and she invited me to her "20 somethings" bible group. Not being a religious guy, I was expecting to leave with a bad taste in my mouth and a funny story but... [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Jan 7, 2014 - 42 answers

A Supposedly Fun Thing that Will Hopefully Actually Be Fun

Cruise recommendations for two female BFFs in their 30s? [more inside]
posted by Jess the Mess on Jan 2, 2014 - 11 answers

Keeping friends in the loop?

Last night, while capping off a great day out, my girlfriend stumbled upon a big table crowded with friends she knew from before we met. It created a wave of sadness and nostalgia on her part that I could not do much about but listen. We go on several dates each month. I am working really hard to make our life more certain and rich but see clearly that I am not able to provide enough group experiences that my girlfriend would enjoy. I like to entertain but she is tired of always having everyone at our house. I can find lots of groups to join. I really want to ask her friends not to forget about us when they are going for a night out. What are some tactics I could use to do this?
posted by parmanparman on Dec 29, 2013 - 8 answers

When to follow up about following up?

I met an old classmate at a party recently and would like to reconnect. I emailed her about asking her to hang, but I've gotten no response. What next? Social anxiety-colored snowflakes abound. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2013 - 8 answers

How to best deal with a despised close friend of my SO?

For reasons that I find entirely justifiable, I despise one of my significant other's closest friends. Until recently, we have gotten along, and although he treats his girlfriend terribly and frequently complains about their relationship to my SO and me, I thought he was just unhappy in his relationship, and dismissed it. Recent events have brought to light that, not only does he dislike me deep down, it appears he genuinely thinks of women in general as nothing more than inconsequential beasts with breasts that somehow continue to exists despite their obvious stupidity and inability to do anything of value. Obviously this revelation makes me a little uncomfortable with the idea of he and my SO cavorting about together without me being around to deter the "I hate women" diatribe. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Dec 19, 2013 - 32 answers

How to mend a broken 5+ year friendship

Friend and I had a blow out 4 months ago. We've been friends before that for 5+ years. She's ignored my previous initiatives to reach out and try to apologize and talk things out. Is there any hope? Or should I just leave this alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2013 - 21 answers

Making friends in Los Angeles

Making friends in Los Angeles [more inside]
posted by DeltaForce on Dec 9, 2013 - 14 answers

forgiveness

How do you know when you've truly forgiven someone? How do you let go of old pain when you've long ago forgiven the person who caused it? Is it possible to truly forgive someone but still not want them in your life? [more inside]
posted by evil otto on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

I would prefer not to spend time with my friend when she is very stoned

Is there any good way to tell a dear friend I don’t really want to chat on the phone or spend long periods of time with her when she’s very, very stoned? [more inside]
posted by JayAlfred on Nov 28, 2013 - 14 answers

Everyone IS hanging out without me!

Like it says in the title: everyone is hanging out without me. How do I get back into my group, or should I not even try? [more inside]
posted by like_a_friend on Nov 21, 2013 - 31 answers

What to do about someone I like

Basically I met a guy at a bar (I'm also a guy fyi)... We've been going places, eating out, and hanging out for the past month and a half and still are. Every day or every other day or so and he's always up for it. He messages me while we're both at work. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2013 - 12 answers

I really like you, but...

I've had trouble connecting with people for most of my life, now it's just getting ridiculous.. [more inside]
posted by readygo on Nov 4, 2013 - 37 answers

Should I go to a reunion of people I haven't seen in 30+ years?

After high school, I pretty much disappeared off the radar of my crowd. I had my reasons, which weren't especially due to anyone I knew then, just my situation led me to make some changes to my locale and I lost touch with them over the years. Now that Facebook has made looking up people so easy, my posse from high school has tracked me down and wants me to attend a party, a reunion of sorts. One of our cohort passed away unexpectedly and they put out all the stops to locate me once they got wind I was still alive and kicking. [more inside]
posted by diode on Nov 3, 2013 - 27 answers

He's a great guy, I swear

My boyfriend is a wonderful person, but apparently a lot of people find him creepy and off-putting. To be honest, I've been around him enough that I don't entirely disagree with them. I'm wondering what, if anything, I can do to help. [more inside]
posted by girlmightlive on Oct 29, 2013 - 23 answers

How many people can I keep track of?

I'm astonished by the sheer number of people with whom I interact in my life. How many of them can I realistically expect to keep track of in the years to come? Are my experiences normal? Does the rate of establishing new connections, as well as deepening existing connections, stand to slow down over time, or will it keep going at something like the present rate? [more inside]
posted by cheapskatebay on Oct 23, 2013 - 8 answers

how to cope with an omnipresent ex-girlfriend?

my SO's ex-girlfriend is pretty much always around. i thought i was cool with it, and philosophically, i want to be cool with it... but it's seriously starting to grate on my nerves. how to deal? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Oct 22, 2013 - 26 answers

I'm not interested in dating or being your friend. Thanks and goodbye.

How do I tell somebody I recently met that I'm not interested romantically or even as a friend? The problem is that I'm not exactly sure whether she is looking for just a friend or something more? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Oct 22, 2013 - 24 answers

I want a job/community I love - but I have trouble staying passionate.

I graduated from college a year ago without a community I was passionate about, and without many friends. In the last year I coached a high school debate team, and I've been working as a math tutor for the current semester. Thing is, I never really enjoyed para-education, and would rather take a job in something I can make a happy, extensive career out of. But therein lies the rub: I'm decent at a lot of different things - but I'm not excellent or all-encompassingly passionate about any of them. [more inside]
posted by LSK on Oct 17, 2013 - 11 answers

Dealing with disappointing friends.

I have a really hard time putting a positive spin on people, friends especially, that under-deliver. I'm worried about overreacting and burning bridges. How do I deal with this situation? [more inside]
posted by phaedon on Oct 12, 2013 - 35 answers

How do you end a friendship when you're eleven?

I'm all about the slow fade for friendships that aren't working, but I'm 34 and my daughter is 11. It doesn't work that way in middle school. [more inside]
posted by Ruki on Oct 9, 2013 - 18 answers

Is it my place to be the one telling people about what this guy did?

I came across a news article that revealed that someone I used to be acquainted with was convicted for production and distribution of child pornography. He toured the churches of his denomination with a music group for many years. As a former member of that faith, with friends and family members still active, and someone who was not directly effected by what he did, is it my place to be the one let people people know about this? If so, what is an appropriate way to do that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2013 - 18 answers

Is this a normal thing when friends get a girlfriend?

I have a guy friend i've known since 1st grade (we're both 26), we went to school together all the way through high school. We had a kind of mutual unspoken, understanding/agreement over the years that we were friends, but we just didn't see each other often around school after a certain grade to be really good friends. Last year, we started talking a lot more on a pretty regular basis (about every day/night). [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Oct 3, 2013 - 20 answers

renting to a group of friends

renting to a group of friends - how to make this attractive to landlords [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2013 - 7 answers

Please stop making me take sides

How can I navigate the breakup of my close friend with my sister, which is still causing problems years later? I’m caught in the middle trying to be friends with both and it’s very frustrating! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2013 - 44 answers

Why do you make me so mad?

There is someone in my circle of friends who I dislike, and recently I have become increasingly preoccupied by that dislike, to the point where it's actually making me uncomfortable. What's going on here? How do I cut this out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2013 - 19 answers

Let's be F.R.I.E.N.D.S!

What can I do to bond with my roomates? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Sep 11, 2013 - 13 answers

Should this just be a nice memory?

A few weeks ago, my friend and I confessed our mutual feelings. Then we went our separate ways, and there were loose ends. How can I be clear about my intentions? Should I be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2013 - 14 answers

How to deal with this needy friend..

I don't mind making new friends, but it's when they have to contact me every day is where I cross the line. How can I handle this situation delicately? [more inside]
posted by Autumn89 on Sep 5, 2013 - 21 answers

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