336 posts tagged with friend.
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Gift for friend who has everything

Last year I left the SF bay area, leaving behind 98% of my possessions in a storage room in the area. I finally decided to move my things up here to Oregon and asked a friend of mine to meet with the estimator from the moving company to let him into the storage room. She agreed and spent maybe an hour with him. Now that my move date is set I'm driving down to the bay area to supervise my move. [more inside]
posted by bendy on Aug 31, 2015 - 13 answers

Not attending friend's wedding

How much money should I give to a friend for not going to their wedding? [more inside]
posted by Mountain28 on Aug 31, 2015 - 14 answers

Reading recommendations about death of a friend

A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for. [more inside]
posted by gnar_gnar on Aug 12, 2015 - 13 answers

Keep cool, my babies..

So there's this guy I met at a mutual group hobby we've been going to which has been very enjoyable, but also awkward at the same time. [more inside]
posted by readygo on Jul 2, 2015 - 29 answers

How can I cope with losing a friendship that maybe was not good?

How and when to let go of a friend? And should I let go of a friend? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Jun 9, 2015 - 12 answers

Boss is undermining friend: to tell or not?

A former colleague & friend from institution A applied for a job at institution B. She did not get the job because the current boss at institution A told the boss at institution B that she was a bad employee. This is untrue. Do I tell my friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2015 - 22 answers

It's not you, it's your... er, B.O.

My friend has a problem that might be impeding his social life. I'd like to know how to speak to him about it. [more inside]
posted by milque on Apr 29, 2015 - 25 answers

how should i have handled this?

Awkward situation involving my SO, a bike, and a friend. I did this wrong, but I really don't know ethically what was the right thing to do. [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Apr 12, 2015 - 95 answers

What to do - Card and Flowers for a dying friend?

A friend of the family is dying, and soon. She was diagnosed recently with cancer and given days to live. She is in her home and aware, but under hospice care. Rather than send flowers when she's dead I thought I should send them now while she is alive to know we are thinking of her. What should I put in the card? I'm leaning towards just "Thinking of you" and our names. Any better suggestions for the card?
posted by arniec on Apr 3, 2015 - 8 answers

Is my friend using his personal problems as a weapon against us?

A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Mar 29, 2015 - 18 answers

How do I help my friend through her fears about graduating?

My friend is graduating in 6 weeks from college. She is usually really animated and bubbly, but I was hanging out with her yesterday, and she mentioned in passing that she's thinking about going back to college for another major (she is currently getting her second major after her first didn't work out for her), but she's iffy on whether her dad will let her or not. [more inside]
posted by ggp88 on Mar 26, 2015 - 16 answers

How to celebrate a good friend, in writing

My mom asked me to help her write a nice celebratory message to her friend who is turning 60 years today. I have about 2 hours to do this. HELP! [more inside]
posted by CrazyLemonade on Feb 27, 2015 - 4 answers

Ex-friend still wants to be friends

I broke things off with an old friend and she texts DH with messages to me. I want her to stop doing this. It has been over two years since I ended our friendship. Snowflakes after the jump. [more inside]
posted by RichardHenryYarbo on Jan 20, 2015 - 17 answers

Old friend has dug herself into a pit; I'd like to help her climb out.

A close friend has fallen on hard times; I just found out that she is unemployed, living in poverty and is struggling with a number of addictions. I want to help, but am not sure how; I could use some advice on giving advice. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 12, 2015 - 13 answers

How do I get my friend to stop clinging?

An old long-distance friend continues to cling to the last shreds of our friendship, but I checked out of it years ago. The slow fade hasn't worked, and I don't want to hurt her by "breaking up" - she seems too fragile and needy. I don't know what to do, and I feel stuck and guilty. Weird special details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 32 answers

Activities for dudes?

Surprising my boyfriend with a man-weekend. What does that mean? [more inside]
posted by brynna on Dec 30, 2014 - 21 answers

Romantic Triple Threat! How to move forward?

I’ve fallen for my coworker-friend-roommate I’ve known for a year-and-a-half, and I need advice on how to escalate without it all blowing up in my face. We've roomed together (just the two of us) for six weeks, but I've been away for half that time. Also, we get along well and flirt occasionally, but I’m the worst at reading signs. [more inside]
posted by Nunipaht on Dec 28, 2014 - 46 answers

Friend upset with me for asking her for financial help - now what?

I pissed off/offended one of my oldest friends recently and I'm at a loss as to how I should proceed. I asked her for a favor I've never really asked of any of my friends before: if she had the means to loan me around $200, though I made it clear that a lesser amount would help just as much right now. I told her I'd be able to repay it in approximately six weeks. She didn't take any of this well. [more inside]
posted by item on Dec 4, 2014 - 40 answers

Person I am close to is into a new confusing belief system

Someone I am close to is increasingly getting into the videos of a blogger who talks about an occult group as a stand in for the power elite, occult symbolism in media, the trivium, natural law, etc. My friend seems to see this person as a bringer of new truth, whereas upon my few listenings it mostly seems to be vaguely intellectual cobbling together of anti capitalism, some moral political philosophy, money is religion type stuff. My question is if there's a way for me to connect with him on these topics more generally. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 5, 2014 - 10 answers

Appropriateness of becoming friends with your therapist (after therapy)

Is it (ever) (at all) appropriate to stay in touch with a therapist -- as friends -- after therapy itself ends? [more inside]
posted by thetarium on Oct 20, 2014 - 11 answers

friend is late to plans 95% of the time

How to handle issues regarding a friend who is typically late to nearly all our plans? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Oct 19, 2014 - 46 answers

Navigating Feelings For A Taken Friend

How does one proceed when they inadvertently develop feelings for a new friend -- who is already in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2014 - 11 answers

What do?

I tried to make friends, I thought I did. I room with the one I once considered the closest to me, and now I'm starting to regret it. [more inside]
posted by ourt on Oct 8, 2014 - 33 answers

How to cover an uninsured friend in Toronto?

How can we cover my recently-hospitalized, uninsured friend in Toronto? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Deathbed support for 30 year old friend - what can we do?

A dear friend (female, early 30s) is at the end of her battle with cancer. Our circle of close friends is spread out all over the country. We've been sending gifts, visiting, pooling money together for cleaning and dog walking, etc for a year. But we're in the final month or two, she's in pain (just now starting to turn to palliative care) and I'd love some ideas on how we can support her and her husband. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I or should I not ? (date someone while not over someone else)

I am a man. I had an emotional affair with a friend - let’s call him James - whom I was very much in (unrequited) love with, and recently decided to "break up”. The long story is here. Then I decided to start dating and recently met this person, let’s call him Fred, whom I like very much. The problem is that I am absolutely not over James, and we’ve even managed to re-establish contact, still very guarded at this point, although we have not yet met. So I find myself in a quandary and wondering whether it’s fair to start something with Fred when my heart is really with James. I mean, I like Fred very much and could ever grow to love him. But I fear I may be just using them as a convenient toy while waiting for a James moment that will never come. And Fred is a nice enough person that I don’t want to play with him. But then, I also need company and intimacy and I like having him around and he seems to feel the same about me, and is prepared to wait for as long as it takes for me to be truly over James. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Aug 29, 2014 - 26 answers

Personal Responsibility, My Ass

A close-ish friend and colleague of mine has started to show his true colors in the past few weeks with inflammatory statements on various social issues. I am disgusted, but I want to turn our conversations into learning opportunities. He's just now starting to realize that his beliefs are problematic and he's open to educating himself, but I don't even know where to start. [more inside]
posted by chara on Aug 27, 2014 - 21 answers

Help me (emotionally) graduate from middle school.

This question is very difficult for me to ask, but it has been on my mind enough that I need to swallow my pride and throw it out to you fine folks. I have not been a teen for over a decade; I am, overall, a well-adjusted adult. I am at the top of my game professionally, I am happily married, and I have some wonderful friends. I also have perspective on "real issues"... I've survived some fairly significant tragedies and dealt with family drama that has rendered my therapist speechless. So why do I let the petty antics of a few former friends (who are also colleagues) ruin my day? [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 25, 2014 - 25 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

Handling an irresponsible friend

Things have come to a head with a friend, and I want to figure out if I'm right in wanting to cut and run, or if there is something else I should instead be doing. While the friend has her virtues (she's kind, a social butterfly, fun to hang out with), I've come to the conclusion that she is also very irresponsible, and my experiences dealing with this irresponsibility have become a point of stress and frustration in my life. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210 on Jul 13, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I go from friends with my male classmate to a relationship?

It has taken me two years to get over my ex-boyfriend, and now, in graduate school, I finally, finally met a guy classmate whom I think could be great boyfriend material. He is kind, sweet, super intelligent, and not to mention pretty good-looking. We've spent a bit of time together on projects and study together occasionally, and over the past few months I've really developed some feelings for this guy. The trouble is, I am quite shy and not very good at flirting, so I've tried to initiate contact by organizing study get-togethers, asking him questions on Facebook, etc. I don't want to seem clingy or weird by initiating all this contact though. As for me, people have said I'm pretty, kind, intelligent, blah blah blah. I'm at a point in my life where I would like to find the right man for me and settle down, and I think this guy could be it. Unlike my previous relationships in which we met online, with this guy, I've developed a friendship and my feelings have grown from what I've gleaned from his character and interactions with his family and friends. I really like him, and I don't want to let this one go. Do you have any advice for how to maybe hint to this guy that I like him?
posted by enantio on Jun 12, 2014 - 30 answers

slow fade isn't working

I have a friend who I consider to be almost family. We used to be extremely close through middle and high school, and probably most of while I was in college. She had a really rough childhood that resulted in PTSD and lasting issues with relationships. Over the past few years our daily lives have become pretty different and I think as she's had less going on she's gotten harder to talk to. I've been trying the slow fade, but she's noticed and I have to figure out how much to explain. [more inside]
posted by sepviva on Jun 2, 2014 - 14 answers

Involuntarily caught in housing benefit con

I recently took over paying the UK council tax in a shared living arrangement. The house is HMO licensed for 5 people, yet large, so there has always been a sixth person living here off the books since way before I moved in. That 'HMO invisible' started a housing benefit application. I'm being asked to lie to the council on email. No way! But this idiot is a good friend. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2014 - 11 answers

Is there any way to help my friend?

Someone who's been a good friend of mine for nearly a decade is going through a long rough patch (a rough field?). Is there anything concrete that I can offer her? [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on May 9, 2014 - 7 answers

Breaking up with a borderline friend

My friend has a long history of BPD. After many years we have moved in different directions and I no longer want to deal with her drama and lies. But I also don't want to make things worse for her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 4, 2014 - 15 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

How to be there for someone from far away

How do I write a letter of condolence to my best friend whose dad passed away when it is the only way I have of contacting him? [more inside]
posted by holmesian on Apr 1, 2014 - 9 answers

Developing feelings for a 'friend' - did I do bad?

I started a postgraduate course 3 months ago and there was a girl who stood out a fair bit. There were various issues that stopped me from considering dating her so I went down the friend route. She seemed interested in me at first - we ended up being alone together twice on nights out with others from the class, walking around London and the river, but I, not interested in any kind of intimacy, kept these meetings platonic. It's only recently that I've gotten myself together mentally, gotten to know her better and decided I like what I see - am I too late? What should I do to move from a new friendship back to that stage of 'initial attraction'? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Mar 11, 2014 - 14 answers

My friend accidentally fried my Macbook. What is her responsibility?

I'm in grad school. My friend/classmate accidentally knocked over her water bottle on Wednesday and drenched my MacBook Air (which was on the classroom table about three feet away), killing at least the motherboard (per the repair shop where I took it) and possibly other things as well. It will cost at least $520 to repair; I'm out of AppleCare coverage because I got my computer a bit over a year ago. I have two questions. [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Mar 9, 2014 - 89 answers

Getting out of friend zone

There's this one girl friend that I have. We started out as friends and I thought she was cute and I had a slight interest in her. However since we were in different majors and I studied abroad, I haven't seen her in over a year with no contacts. Today, I just met her after not seeing her for a long time and we had lunch. However, I felt attracted to her and I was wondering whether I should give it a go and ask her out. I still think she sees me as a friend judging by the text conversation before we went out for lunch. What do you guys think I should do? Is it worth it?
posted by soul24rage on Feb 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Best way to approach a girl in a library?

So I'm going to this library practically everyday to study (I can no longer study at home) and there's this girl who sits 5 meters or so from me in another table. We just stare at each other for seconds and then look away. [more inside]
posted by Attozes on Dec 20, 2013 - 28 answers

I know who I’d talk to, if only I could

How do you deal with the death of a good friend? [more inside]
posted by unannihilated on Dec 10, 2013 - 23 answers

How do I bury this? Or shouldn't I?

I haven't had a remotely sane romance for 10 years or so and have taken big chunks of time out from it all (sometimes involuntarily) and spent a lot of time reflecting and in therapy. I rekindled an old friendship with a male friend a while back and we have grown quite close. I always found him quite attractive though when we originally worked together he was married and I was dating, so it was a no go. [more inside]
posted by tanktop on Dec 8, 2013 - 11 answers

Please give me words for explaining my boundaries.

Can I explain to someone how their negative behaviors are putting me off, but maintain an amicable relationship with them? I get too emotional to find fair words. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 30 answers

My friend hit on me and another friend innappropriately. What to do?

I (female, straight, single, late 20’s) had a small party a few days ago. At the end of the night, one friend (we’ll call him Joe) was lingering late. I didn’t suspect anything, until he kissed me out of nowhere. Not sure what to do in follow up, especially considering that this isn't the first time he's done this to a female friend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 48 answers

Did My Friend Steal From Me?

My friend helped herself without asking to a lot of guest soaps/shampoos etc. when she stayed at my house. Lots of soapflake I mean "snowflake" details inside. [more inside]
posted by WalkerWestridge on Oct 23, 2013 - 59 answers

Coping with frustration

I get frustrated with my roommate easily (sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly), and need some coping mechanisms to remain civil. Roommate and I are friends, and generally have fun when we spent friends time together outside of the apartment. But we have some living differences... [more inside]
posted by Chaussette Fantoche on Oct 22, 2013 - 31 answers

Wedding Gift: Creative Guestbook Ideas

My best friend is getting married in June and I'm a bridesmaid. I've offered to put together a guestbook for the couple as part of the big day. I've heard of so many creative ideas - books with photos, framed signed photos, puzzles, etc., but some of them seem impractical. I want this to be something they can potentially display in their home as a reminder of the ceremony. I need ideas, links, personal anecdotes (what made your guestbook special?), to help me put together the best guest book for a lovely couple! It can be DIY or for purchase.
posted by brynna on Oct 14, 2013 - 19 answers

How to cheer up a friend long-distance

My best friend just got laid off from her new job and gave birth to premature twins. The twins can't come home for a month and she is understandably really depressed about that. She lives about 3,000 miles away from me so I'm trying to think of some ways to brighten her day and let her know I'm thinking of her. Some of her likes: movies, acting, makeup/beauty stuff, Dave Matthews.
posted by trillian on Oct 10, 2013 - 17 answers

New friend always invites me on group outings. Help!

I have a friend who includes me in events, which is nice... except, I don't really like her buddies. At all. I've met multiple groups of her friends and not really clicked with them. But when I suggest hanging out one on one, she's usually too busy. Not having been in this situation before, what do I do? Again, invites to hang out one on one are usually consolidated into some group event, where I find out lots of other people are invited. What is the most polite solution?
posted by kettleoffish on Sep 24, 2013 - 15 answers

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