360 posts tagged with friend.
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I feel like I am losing my friend, need advice on how to proceed

I basically divulged my feelings to my best friend, and now I feel like I am losing him. Is there any way to stop the damage? [more inside]
posted by bolognius maximus on Oct 31, 2016 - 17 answers

Long distance introduction

A friend living in my city is moving to a different city. I happen to have another friend in that different city. These 2 have never met. I think these 2 would make great friends. How to I go about introducing them to one another? [more inside]
posted by glenngulia on Sep 30, 2016 - 15 answers

Do I, should I, talk to my friend about the way she discusses money?

A good friend has alienated me and several other close friends due to her compulsion to tell us how much she spends on things. She's quite wealthy but seems to have forgotten that not everyone has her kind of money to spend on luxury items. Should I talk to her about it? Or is this an issue of insecurity I need to keep working on within myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2016 - 21 answers

Attending a Concert: Beanplating Edition

Months and months ago, I bought a front row balcony seat (an excellent seat for this show) to see a favorite musician of mine as a birthday present for myself. The show is this weekend, and yesterday a friend of mine contacted me to ask whether I wanted to go. I told my friend I was already going, and he said if I was going solo I could sell my ticket and sit with him. His seats are not as good as mine. Is it rude to decline? [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Sep 20, 2016 - 8 answers

Telling him how I feel. When and is it selfish?

I have romantic feelings for my long-time male friend. He's gone abroad for a year, he may stay longer, I am resolved to tell him how I feel. Is this selfish? When should I tell him? [more inside]
posted by kittykat020 on Aug 7, 2016 - 19 answers

Friend acquires a lot of cheese. What to do with it?

For complicated / irrelevant reasons a friend has suddenly acquired 18 pounds of Red Leicester cheese. It is good quality. However (again, complicated reasons) the cheese must be moved, used or transformed into something else within the next 72 hours or so. [more inside]
posted by Wordshore on Aug 4, 2016 - 66 answers

Favor from friend, maybe doesn't want it to be transactional, now what?

A friend spent about four hours, plus some travel money, moving me out of my apartment while I was across the country kind of having a nervous breakdown. I was sort of gushy-apologetic-thankful, repeatedly. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Aug 3, 2016 - 29 answers

Worried about friend, what can I do?

I haven't been able to get in touch with a friend of mine all weekend and neither has their family. (Just found out about the family part late last night.) At first I chalked this up to just disengaging from facebook for a while but now I'm concerned. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee on Jul 25, 2016 - 10 answers

Impossible work situation...

I had a friend hire me for a job, and quickly use her position over me to cut my hours and cause me undue stress. I'm at a loss as to what is actually going on, and how to proceed from this point on. [more inside]
posted by Champagne Supernova on Jul 9, 2016 - 9 answers

Is there a protocol on sharing a hiring referral bonus with a friend?

When you refer a friend, and they get hired, and you get a nice big bonus for the referral... is it cool to share some with them? [more inside]
posted by markhu on Jun 30, 2016 - 16 answers

Relationship anxiety-- Unable to express my true feelings to my friend

I know it;s normal to be nervous, but my level of anxiety is too much and I need help [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 20, 2016 - 10 answers

How to help friend deal with break up

My close friend was broken up with recently and I am wondering how best to comfort her. She has had a few guys hurt her one after another, and I think she probably feels quite sad about this now. I want to be a good friend, and would like some advice on the best kinds of things to say to someone in this situation. [more inside]
posted by poilkj on Jun 9, 2016 - 11 answers

Leasing an apartment to a friend: good idea?

On a scale of 1 to "land war in Asia," how bad an idea would it be to rent out an apartment to a friend? [more inside]
posted by Mayor West on Apr 26, 2016 - 20 answers

Dear Crush: Did you notice that I initated?

"Hi! Just wanted you to know that if you ask me to coffee, I would say yes." [more inside]
posted by RaRa-SpaceRobot on Mar 28, 2016 - 18 answers

Chronic pain, unsympathetic job, still need to work. What can be done?

Asking for a friend filter: Friend is in their 20s. Just got halfway decent health insurance. Working at a retail store since summer of last year, job involves a lot of physical labor along with sales desk. They've been commended for good work a few times and have been told they've been doing well enough to be a keyholder soon, which would involve more hours and a raise, Recently got a merit raise. They've had chronic pain for a while, and circumstances are... [more inside]
posted by ShawnStruck on Mar 16, 2016 - 7 answers

How do I get over this friend breakup?

I've been dumped. I have no idea how to handle it. Bonus difficulty: I am a late-40s woman and the dumper is/was my best friend of many years. I'm in a state of confusion and sadness. I live a life that never, ever has this level of personal drama, so while the rest of you have been asking these questions here, I've been whistling along, thinking it doesn't relate to me. Now it does. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2016 - 22 answers

What can I do for my friend whose father just passed away?

My best friend's dad just died last night. Fortunately, he flew in from NY to TX to be able to be by his side at the time of his death. He and his family are Chinese. What can I do from afar (I am in DC) to help / support him, and also to offer condolences in a more formal way? Send flowers? Food? [more inside]
posted by bengalibelle on Jan 22, 2016 - 14 answers

how to handle a mean friend?

I need advice / strategies on the best way to address the problem of a friend who makes critical remarks to me. Details below. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Jan 21, 2016 - 40 answers

Dating a good friend's ex-girlfriend

Two friends of mine broke up a few weeks ago. I've been friends with the man for something close to a decade but became good friends with his then girlfriend over the last year, as well. So it was only natural that me and her continued to hang out, unexpectedly (for both of us) getting closer to each other. We're now at the beginning of a relationship ourselves - not knowing what to do with her ex/my good friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 6, 2016 - 31 answers

FYI your friend's a rapist

A new woman friend just told me that a good friend of ours raped her family member twice this year. I'm experiencing confusion of what to do now. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Dec 13, 2015 - 16 answers

Friend date!

What's the best way to say to someone, "hey, I think you're cool, I'd love to be friends outside of class" without romantic overtones? [more inside]
posted by glass origami robot on Dec 9, 2015 - 15 answers

Is my friend narcissistic?

Hello. I have been friends with "James" for a little over a year. He is in his second year studying chemistry. I'm ambivalent about his social behaviour, if he possesses narcissistic characteristics or perhaps a case of social anxiety and nervousness in general. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow on Nov 12, 2015 - 17 answers

Stop harassing my dying friend

How do I help a dying friend discourage another friend (unknown to me)from pushing alternative medicine/cures for her incurable cancer on Facebook? [more inside]
posted by b33j on Oct 30, 2015 - 20 answers

How should my bf navigate a falling out in his social group?

A former fried of my bf stopped speaking to him over some petty issue (he feels slighted for every small thing). I don't like the guy - he treats his gf and other people like crap (talks over them, has a bad temper, impatient, etc.), so I was happy that my bf will stop associating with him. My bf has also come to conclusion he doesn't need to be friends with this guy, but wanted to superficially smooth things over to avoid the awkwardness that has ensued whenever they hang out in their group of common friends. This guy has rebuffed him 3 times and I know my bf is feeling a lot of anxiety and stress about it. What should I tell him to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2015 - 10 answers

Gift for friend who has everything

Last year I left the SF bay area, leaving behind 98% of my possessions in a storage room in the area. I finally decided to move my things up here to Oregon and asked a friend of mine to meet with the estimator from the moving company to let him into the storage room. She agreed and spent maybe an hour with him. Now that my move date is set I'm driving down to the bay area to supervise my move. [more inside]
posted by bendy on Aug 31, 2015 - 13 answers

Not attending friend's wedding

How much money should I give to a friend for not going to their wedding? [more inside]
posted by Mountain28 on Aug 31, 2015 - 14 answers

Reading recommendations about death of a friend

A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for. [more inside]
posted by gnar_gnar on Aug 12, 2015 - 12 answers

Keep cool, my babies..

So there's this guy I met at a mutual group hobby we've been going to which has been very enjoyable, but also awkward at the same time. [more inside]
posted by readygo on Jul 2, 2015 - 29 answers

How can I cope with losing a friendship that maybe was not good?

How and when to let go of a friend? And should I let go of a friend? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Jun 9, 2015 - 12 answers

Boss is undermining friend: to tell or not?

A former colleague & friend from institution A applied for a job at institution B. She did not get the job because the current boss at institution A told the boss at institution B that she was a bad employee. This is untrue. Do I tell my friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2015 - 22 answers

It's not you, it's your... er, B.O.

My friend has a problem that might be impeding his social life. I'd like to know how to speak to him about it. [more inside]
posted by milque on Apr 29, 2015 - 25 answers

how should i have handled this?

Awkward situation involving my SO, a bike, and a friend. I did this wrong, but I really don't know ethically what was the right thing to do. [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Apr 12, 2015 - 95 answers

What to do - Card and Flowers for a dying friend?

A friend of the family is dying, and soon. She was diagnosed recently with cancer and given days to live. She is in her home and aware, but under hospice care. Rather than send flowers when she's dead I thought I should send them now while she is alive to know we are thinking of her. What should I put in the card? I'm leaning towards just "Thinking of you" and our names. Any better suggestions for the card?
posted by arniec on Apr 3, 2015 - 8 answers

Is my friend using his personal problems as a weapon against us?

A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Mar 29, 2015 - 18 answers

How do I help my friend through her fears about graduating?

My friend is graduating in 6 weeks from college. She is usually really animated and bubbly, but I was hanging out with her yesterday, and she mentioned in passing that she's thinking about going back to college for another major (she is currently getting her second major after her first didn't work out for her), but she's iffy on whether her dad will let her or not. [more inside]
posted by ggp88 on Mar 26, 2015 - 16 answers

How to celebrate a good friend, in writing

My mom asked me to help her write a nice celebratory message to her friend who is turning 60 years today. I have about 2 hours to do this. HELP! [more inside]
posted by CrazyLemonade on Feb 27, 2015 - 4 answers

Ex-friend still wants to be friends

I broke things off with an old friend and she texts DH with messages to me. I want her to stop doing this. It has been over two years since I ended our friendship. Snowflakes after the jump. [more inside]
posted by RichardHenryYarbo on Jan 20, 2015 - 17 answers

Old friend has dug herself into a pit; I'd like to help her climb out.

A close friend has fallen on hard times; I just found out that she is unemployed, living in poverty and is struggling with a number of addictions. I want to help, but am not sure how; I could use some advice on giving advice. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 12, 2015 - 13 answers

How do I get my friend to stop clinging?

An old long-distance friend continues to cling to the last shreds of our friendship, but I checked out of it years ago. The slow fade hasn't worked, and I don't want to hurt her by "breaking up" - she seems too fragile and needy. I don't know what to do, and I feel stuck and guilty. Weird special details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 32 answers

Activities for dudes?

Surprising my boyfriend with a man-weekend. What does that mean? [more inside]
posted by brynna on Dec 30, 2014 - 21 answers

Romantic Triple Threat! How to move forward?

I’ve fallen for my coworker-friend-roommate I’ve known for a year-and-a-half, and I need advice on how to escalate without it all blowing up in my face. We've roomed together (just the two of us) for six weeks, but I've been away for half that time. Also, we get along well and flirt occasionally, but I’m the worst at reading signs. [more inside]
posted by Nunipaht on Dec 28, 2014 - 46 answers

Friend upset with me for asking her for financial help - now what?

I pissed off/offended one of my oldest friends recently and I'm at a loss as to how I should proceed. I asked her for a favor I've never really asked of any of my friends before: if she had the means to loan me around $200, though I made it clear that a lesser amount would help just as much right now. I told her I'd be able to repay it in approximately six weeks. She didn't take any of this well. [more inside]
posted by item on Dec 4, 2014 - 40 answers

Person I am close to is into a new confusing belief system

Someone I am close to is increasingly getting into the videos of a blogger who talks about an occult group as a stand in for the power elite, occult symbolism in media, the trivium, natural law, etc. My friend seems to see this person as a bringer of new truth, whereas upon my few listenings it mostly seems to be vaguely intellectual cobbling together of anti capitalism, some moral political philosophy, money is religion type stuff. My question is if there's a way for me to connect with him on these topics more generally. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 5, 2014 - 10 answers

Appropriateness of becoming friends with your therapist (after therapy)

Is it (ever) (at all) appropriate to stay in touch with a therapist -- as friends -- after therapy itself ends? [more inside]
posted by thetarium on Oct 20, 2014 - 11 answers

friend is late to plans 95% of the time

How to handle issues regarding a friend who is typically late to nearly all our plans? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Oct 19, 2014 - 46 answers

Navigating Feelings For A Taken Friend

How does one proceed when they inadvertently develop feelings for a new friend -- who is already in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2014 - 11 answers

What do?

I tried to make friends, I thought I did. I room with the one I once considered the closest to me, and now I'm starting to regret it. [more inside]
posted by ourt on Oct 8, 2014 - 33 answers

How to cover an uninsured friend in Toronto?

How can we cover my recently-hospitalized, uninsured friend in Toronto? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Deathbed support for 30 year old friend - what can we do?

A dear friend (female, early 30s) is at the end of her battle with cancer. Our circle of close friends is spread out all over the country. We've been sending gifts, visiting, pooling money together for cleaning and dog walking, etc for a year. But we're in the final month or two, she's in pain (just now starting to turn to palliative care) and I'd love some ideas on how we can support her and her husband. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I or should I not ? (date someone while not over someone else)

I am a man. I had an emotional affair with a friend - let’s call him James - whom I was very much in (unrequited) love with, and recently decided to "break up”. The long story is here. Then I decided to start dating and recently met this person, let’s call him Fred, whom I like very much. The problem is that I am absolutely not over James, and we’ve even managed to re-establish contact, still very guarded at this point, although we have not yet met. So I find myself in a quandary and wondering whether it’s fair to start something with Fred when my heart is really with James. I mean, I like Fred very much and could ever grow to love him. But I fear I may be just using them as a convenient toy while waiting for a James moment that will never come. And Fred is a nice enough person that I don’t want to play with him. But then, I also need company and intimacy and I like having him around and he seems to feel the same about me, and is prepared to wait for as long as it takes for me to be truly over James. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Aug 29, 2014 - 26 answers

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