55 posts tagged with forgiveness.
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How do you know when you've forgiven someone?

What are some signs that you've completely forgiven someone who has hurt you? I'm trying to compile a more exhaustive list for myself. [more inside]
posted by unstrungharp on Feb 12, 2015 - 15 answers

How can I forgive myself for wasting so much time?

I basically spent the past nine years of my life skimming forum posts and otherwise wasting my time on the Internet. How can I get past this and stop hating myself? [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Jan 3, 2015 - 31 answers

Tips, Anecdotes or Books About Forgiving Those Who've Wronged You?

I am carrying around a lot of hatred and fury. I don't know how to forgive people from my past. I need a primer -- books, tips, anything. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2015 - 31 answers

Oops, I did it again :(

How can I forgive myself for exercising such poor judgment? [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Oct 28, 2014 - 25 answers

How can I get a job as a grant writer for a non-profit organization?

I quit law school (a very prestigious, top five school) four years ago and have been working in education ever since (first as an aide for Autistic children, then as a substitute teacher for two years). In this time, my student loans have been accruing interest and keeping me up at night. I can qualify for loan forgiveness programs as long as I work for a non-profit or a school. Unfortunately, the work I was doing for the past four years did not count because I worked for private companies that contracted out to schools. For many reasons,(see below) I would now like to break into grant writing. I have written three successful grant proposals in my career (one for an educational outreach program in college, one for a Fulbright Grant, and one for an international NGO). I am currently strengthening my grant writing skills by taking webinars and utilizing other free online resources. How can I present myself as a viable candidate for these grant writing jobs? And how do I explain the many changes of direction on my resume and the long winding road I took to get here? [more inside]
posted by rockpanda on Jul 31, 2014 - 4 answers

There must be a schadenfreude-adjacent word for this!

There's got to be a word or phrase for when someone chooses to sympathise with or prioritize the pain and suffering of a perpetrator over their victims. It's not "victim-blaming" which is about making a judgement of fault or cause of the act itself to reduce the level of the crime, but where people put the weight of their attention and efforts towards the perpetrator and there is comparatively little for the victims. I'm especially interested in a phrase or ethical/theological concept that addresses the hypocrisy of this, where this sympathy to the perp is viewed as a Great Moral Kindness in rehabilitating the sinner while refusing to acknowledge that that effort comes at the cost of further silencing and refusing voice, aid and power to the victims.
posted by viggorlijah on Jun 12, 2014 - 25 answers

How can I practice gratitude while recognizing and fighting injustice?

I'm trying to practice gratitude, release old grudges and generally be a happier person. However, I find that a lot of the advice like 'don't compare yourself to others,' 'count your blessings,' 'assume that others have good intentions,' ... doesn't address the fact that some people DON'T have good intentions, workplaces are often sexist and racist, and privilege means some people automatically have an easier time of it. How can I be content with what I have while still working for a better world? [more inside]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto on May 1, 2014 - 35 answers

Forgiving a parent's infidelity

I'm unsure if and how to forgive my father for having an affair. I feel that being unable to get past this, is affecting me as a person and has complicated my relationship with my mother. I'd really like to hear from others who may have come to crossroads with forgiving a loved one, especially anyone who's dealt with a parent's infidelity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2013 - 31 answers

How can I forgive myself for something I did as a teenager?

When I was 15, I was extremely cruel to a friend and sabotaged our very special relationship. I was crazy and didn't really understand what I had done until college. When I finally "got it" too late, I wrote him a letter to apologize, but he never responded. 10 years later, suddenly the guilt is flooding back again big-time... [more inside]
posted by MetaFilter World Peace on Dec 17, 2013 - 49 answers


How do you know when you've truly forgiven someone? How do you let go of old pain when you've long ago forgiven the person who caused it? Is it possible to truly forgive someone but still not want them in your life? [more inside]
posted by evil otto on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

How do you forgive yourself for wasting 4 years of your life?

I'm 30 and still writing my first graduate dissertation. It's been quite a winding road to find direction and purpose in life. I spent (or probably wasted) a total of 4 years after high school exploring unrealistic paths to find happiness, satisfaction and wealth. Today, back to the real world, it sometimes stings to look back on all that wasted time and speculating where I would now be had I chosen the more reasonable and constructive road. Any useful thoughts to help cope with this mostly useless regretful thought of mine? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Aug 25, 2013 - 35 answers

"That which I do not forgive in you lies unforgiven within myself."

I love this quote. It carried me through (and continues to carry me through) a very tough time in my life. I'm considering getting it tattooed on myself. Problem: I can't find its primary source. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Aug 5, 2013 - 3 answers

Not thinking straight.

Just found out my boyfriend slept with someone else on Saturday night. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2013 - 113 answers

Now you want me back?

A group of friends effectively dropped me for the last year and now they are making overtures as if nothing happened. How to react? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2013 - 26 answers

How did you let go and forgive after a loss and a breakup?

Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 27, 2013 - 20 answers

How do I forgive myself for being a pothead?

I started smoking weed in my early twenties, when I moved away from my hometown to a larger city in a different country. It's enough to say that I wasn't adapted well to being on my own; that, combined with the stress of a new job, a language barrier, and a few health problems that chipped away at my self-esteem, led me to take comfort in marijuana, on and off, for ten years. How do I forgive myself for the feelings of shame I have? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2013 - 26 answers

What to think of a person promoting their book in a dishonest way?

I caught someone I knew promoting their book in a dishonest way. How to react? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 40 answers

How can I let go of my trust issues with my father?

Father issues: How to let go and move on, how to trust, and if I should. [more inside]
posted by Kitty Cornered on Nov 3, 2012 - 7 answers

Would you forgive your mother for this?

Would you forgive your mother for this? [more inside]
posted by crazycanuck on Oct 6, 2012 - 45 answers

Post-Traumatic In-Law Disorder?

An in-law said a bunch of hurtful things to me and now I can't get over it. How do I get past anger and resentment—and the worry that the in-law's hostility to me will harm my kids—so we can get on with the business of being a family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2012 - 23 answers

How do I move on from this?

I suffer from depression and issues relating to low self esteem. In a moment of unbelievably horrible judgment and extreme selfishness I slept with my best friend's husband. She found out. I'm pretty sure I've lost her friendship forever and I have no idea how to deal with this crushing guilt and regret. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 35 answers

Is forgiveness only for the unforgivable?

How to forgive yourself and others healthily [more inside]
posted by grokfest on May 7, 2012 - 21 answers

Should I give up on friendship?

I am angry at everyone who tries to be friendly with me because of a repeated thing that has happened to me socially and with my family as well. I really don't want to become bitter and friendless but I either feel like I'm putting on an act or I get angry. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2012 - 19 answers

What should the voice in my head say?

Help me be ok with not giving 100% to running every day. [more inside]
posted by thewestinggame on Feb 26, 2012 - 16 answers

Please explain forgiveness to me

Please explain forgiveness to me! [more inside]
posted by marimeko on Dec 4, 2011 - 32 answers

How do you really forgive?

I thought I had forgiven my friend, but whenever it comes up I am disturbed by our differing accounts of the same events. Why does this bother me so much? How can I truly forgive her? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Nov 18, 2011 - 32 answers

Am I being taken advantage of, or does my S.O really love and deserve me?

Am I in a good relationship, or is it time to move on? When do you let someone go, even though you love them? My S.O has chronic pain and I have helped him through alot, are things about to get better for us, or would you say this is a dead-end relationship that could go on like this forever? [more inside]
posted by amacph10 on Jun 8, 2011 - 32 answers

If they can't forgive me my decision to pursue postgraduate education in the humanities...

Are BC and/or Canada Student Loans ever forgiven? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2011 - 3 answers

how does one work through emotions?

What does it mean to "work through one's emotions"? [more inside]
posted by SymphonyNumberNine on Jan 12, 2011 - 11 answers

My Friend's Lost Story

Please help me help my friend find the source of a story she remembers. I don't know why, but she really, really wants to find it, so I'm hoping the hive mind can help. (story after the jump) [more inside]
posted by kestralwing on Jan 11, 2011 - 6 answers

How to preserve healthy anger

Can I learn to hold a grudge? [more inside]
posted by peacheater on Dec 9, 2010 - 18 answers

How do I get over past wrongs?

How do I get over past wrongs? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2010 - 15 answers

Please enable me further

Toxic relatives and forgiveness games ... how do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2010 - 19 answers

What do you mean, I still have to live with him?

A good friend intentionally hurt me. I cut off all contact in an attempt to move on, which so far seems to be working. The only problem? He's also my roommate and business partner. He'll be home from an extended absence soon and I need help drawing and maintaining boundaries for two people who should realistically have no contact with each other, but are instead stuck sharing a bathroom and a checking account. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2010 - 23 answers

love hurts/crazy in love

lies! love! cheating! how to overcome & move on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2010 - 18 answers

I did a bad thing, and cannot seem to get over it.

I did a bad thing this weekend. Everybody I hurt has been apologized to and has forgiven me, but I'm having a hell of a time forgiving myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2009 - 26 answers

Party foul, or reason for jihad?

Party foul, or unforgivable etiquette breach? [more inside]
posted by dejah420 on Jun 8, 2009 - 173 answers

The Ancient Indian Burial Ground of relationships

I need some secular resources for learning to forgive, and how to relate if you have a broken relationship model. I have got to stop wanting an apology from someone who is never going to apologize to me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2009 - 31 answers

I do not want the gift of your pain

How can I learn to forgive and forget? [more inside]
posted by Solomon on Dec 2, 2008 - 23 answers

Paralyzed With Resentment

How can I stop thinking about my father's bigotry, hatred, and intolerance? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2008 - 42 answers

When is a bygone not a bygone?

ForgivenessFilter: help me to get over something a now-SO had the right to do, but hurt like hell anyway. [more inside]
posted by trouserlouse on Mar 2, 2008 - 28 answers

More thera-fishes in the sea?

I was seeing a sex therapist for about a year. We had a little tiff and now I don't go there anymore. I could still use the therapy though. Should I forgive and forget or are there more thera-fish in the sea? (Potentially NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2008 - 22 answers

Unconditional Love? Altruism? Can You Learn it?

How to Cultivate Altruism and Love the Hard to Love? [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on Feb 25, 2008 - 5 answers

Help me name and/or locate an episode of 'Davey and Goliath'.

Please tell me you remember an episode of Davey and Goliath where Davey steals a hypnotic, psychedelic toy from a friend and learns a valuable lesson in return. [more inside]
posted by item on Dec 25, 2007 - 7 answers

Are there other ways to gain trust other than acts of honesty and time passing?

Is there any other way (other than the passing of time and being completely truthful) to help better regain someone's trust after a lie or two has been committed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2007 - 12 answers

Have I destroyed a friendship?

Is my friend being petty, or should I try harder to patch this up? Long explanation... [more inside]
posted by Ruby Doomsday on Oct 29, 2007 - 73 answers


What does buddhism/hinduism/christian say about forgiving self. I am not able to forgive myself for the mistakes i made and mistakes i will be making in the future and keep torturing myself saying i should be perfect. I am not able to change myself as a result. Any other insight on self-forgiveness.
posted by mot123 on Oct 16, 2007 - 28 answers

Movies with "forgiveness" as theme?

I'm having trouble thinking of any narrative movies with "forgiveness" as a theme...anyone?
posted by beautiful on Aug 22, 2007 - 39 answers

Getting over feelings of betrayal

I am starting to hate my cousin and best friend. Please help me forgive her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2007 - 33 answers

Forgive and forgetting

How can I forgive my SO for hurtful things done (and apologized for) in the past? I'm having a really hard time moving on and moving forward due to my inability to forgive. [more inside]
posted by zoey08 on Dec 12, 2006 - 19 answers

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