Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with forgetfulness

Hello, McFly?

Fairchild — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:47:42 -0800

I'm very distressed that I cannot remember anything and do not feel sharp. How can I improve my memory and feel more with it? I have never had a good memory but lately it seems my head is empty. I can manage my day to day life reasonably well but still feel dimwitted. I cannot remember plots or characters of books I have read. I don't remember names very well. If a person tells me they are going on vacation/having surgery/buying a new house I will forget to ask about this major event the next time I see them. I'm not familiar with many things that other people seem to have no problem with. There are huge stretches of childhood and adulthood that I cannot remember. There are stretches of my children's lives that I can't remember. I cannot remember some simple facts. Is this normal?

Sometimes I fall short on sleep but mostly get adequate sleep. I exercise a few times a week but sometimes have stretches of inactivity. Maybe since I haven't worked in years has something to do with it. I stay home with my children and work very part-time in my chosen profession but it is a very laid-back environment that requires little brain power. I used to have a job that requires very specific skills. If I wanted to return to this type of job I would have a lot of brushing up to do.

I'm basically distressed that my mind feels very dull and empty. I don't have quick comebacks. Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with intelligent conversation. Sometimes I stammer and have problems expressing a thought. I just feel very dull and while my memory has always been average I feel duller and more forgetful than ever. (I don't have a problem learning new things. I learn and grasp concepts reasonably well but don't often remember them and have to look them up to refresh my memory.) I do have some social anxiety and have trouble living in the moment. Maybe I am too busy thinking about other things to remember what is happening in real life.

How can I improve my memory and feel more "with it"?

I forget your name

serazin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:22:48 -0800

I forgot your name... and all other proper nouns. My memory has taken a major turn for the worse in the last few years. Some cocktail of genetics, pregnancy (which really sapped my brain power despite my feminist ideology to the contrary) and several years of sleep deprivation associated with parenting. Or maybe its just getting older. Anyhow, I'm only in my 30s but my long-term memory as well as word recall skills are in the toilet. And recently I figured out that in the word recall department - proper nouns are significantly more difficult for me to recall than other words. I can't remember your name, place names, movie titles, city or state names.

So is there theory around memory loss that can help me understand why I would loose proper nouns before the rest of my vocabulary? And are there strategies specifically for remembering proper nouns and building memory health? I know about some of the mnemonic tricks for remembering stuff, but I guess I'm more interested in understanding the causes and more "sciency" suggestions for improving things.

Thanks!

What word have I forgotten?

mllrstvn — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:48:55 -0800

Help me remember an adjective meaning extremely gifted, normally applied to a child. It's not anything obvious. :( Okay, bedtime was an hour ago, and almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, my lines of thinking were disrupted by not remembering a word. Between now and then, I've struggled and strained to try and come up with the missing term, but it's just not happening.

The word I have in mind (or not in mind, I guess) almost always applies to children. It's an adjective and means the individual to which it applies has especially strong talents in a given area -- or perhaps even in all areas. I've read through articles on "giftedness," "savant," and "wunderkind" in hopes of finding the missing word used, but unfortunately all such efforts have been for naught.

I'm not sure if this helps, but a sentence in which this word would be found is "Timmy was a very xxxxx boy and thus had difficulty making friends." For some reason I'm thinking it may sound similar to either "coquettish" or "obsolescence," but at this point that may be nothing over and above wishful thinking. Additionally, my memory-spelunking adventures keep being undone by the word "prodigal," which isn't at all related to "prodigy."

Please come up with the answer so I can go to sleep! Thanks!

Tickets? Check. Wallet? Check. Head screwed on? Ummm...

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:08:58 -0800

How can I remember things during my upcoming vacation? Last year, I was a walking disaster at the airport: I forgot to put baggage tags on the luggage, left the car seat at the security checkpoint, misplaced the tickets when boarding, etc. It didn't get much better on the vacation. I think this is part of an overall problem of absent-mindedness when feeling rushed or being in an unfamiliar environment (e.g., leaving wallet at a store counter, forgetting umbrella on a bus). And yes, I probably have ADD. What are some things I can do to clear my head and help me make sure I have everything before moving on??

I maed you an encrypted volume but then I losted it.

desjardins — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 12:41:26 -0800

I encrypted a bunch of stuff using TrueCrypt, but I forgot where I put it. Help me find it? Yes, I feel dumb. Three months ago I encrypted a bunch of files so my housesitter couldn't access them. I remember the password, but I don't know where I put the volume. Since you can name it anything, how can I go about finding it again?

Windows XP desktop with 2 internal hard drives. Could be on either one. The volume would be around 10G in size.

Help me remember this western/comedy movie.

arniec — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:12:42 -0800

Help me identify this old western movie by its final scene (is it a comedy?) In the mid 80's I saw the end of a ridiculous movie which I've not seen since. It was a western and there was a narrator in a gunfight against a bald man dressed all in black. The shootout occurred and the man in black got shot in the stomach and the hero/narrator walked away. The evil man begged his lackey "Please don't let me die with my boots on!" and so the lackey tugged and tugged on the bald man's black boots.

The narrator wrapped up the happenings in the movie and then said "As for I don't know if his lackey ever got his boots off" (or whatever). And it showed the lackey STILL tugging on the bad guy's boots.

The bad guy looked like James Carvell, or kinda like Christopher Lloyd in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Anyone seen this movie (scene this movie ;) ) and if so, can you scratch this itch and tell me what movie it was I saw 20 years ago?

How do I not kill my son? :)

liquado — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 14:20:17 -0800

MeFi Parenting filter: What are appropriate consequences for an 8-year-old who has a history of carelessness with belongings, and has lost his $250 glasses? Today, my son phoned from school at the end of the day, quite upset, to say he was going to be late, because he couldn't find his glasses. He's usually pretty responsible with them, and they stay at school all the time normally, but today being the last day of school, we thought he might want them at home.

And I'm kinda at my wit's end with him and losing or leaving his belongings behind.

He frequently loses, forgets, or misplaces his belongings at school, be they notes home, jackets, books, homework, etc. We're not ogre-like parents, and have tried to encourage him to keep track of his stuff better, with little success. After several incidents, we decided we needed to start instituting consequences for leaving things at school that he needs for the evening, and told him that he would lose Xbox privileges for a day (which is fairly significant, since he's only allowed 2-3 sessions of 1.5-2 hours a week). After a few lost days, he seemed to begin to grasp the situation, with mixed results.

The issue around the glasses for me is that, we've now cranked it up a (financial) notch. Forgotten homework is one thing, lost $40 jacket is another, but we're talking a significantly larger number now. I'm frustrated, which is why I haven't issued any consequences yet, but I'm looking for some suggestions. Asking him to pay is absurd since his only source of income is allowance, and it would take him a year to pay it off, which in my book is not only unfair, but also unrealistic.

I don't want to *punish* him, but I want him to recognize the significance, and get a sense, of the consequences of his actions. I want him to at least learn something from this situation, especially if it winds up costing me $250.

So......any suggestions? Lines? Beatings? Water boarding? Nothing? I'm all ears.

Thanks for the advice.

I screwed up; how to minimize the family drama at Christmas?

Anonymous — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 13:18:34 -0800

I missed my two brothers-in-laws' birthdays, and one of my sisters is mad at me. I'll see everyone at Christmas. Help me make things right and prevent family drama. My sisters have been with their husbands for ~10 years. Most of that time I was poor and single and living far away, so I wasn't expected to get anything for their husbands birthdays, and I'd usually only get my sisters a card for their birthdays. The older sister always remembers my birthday, but the younger one rarely does. I am not hurt at all by the forgetfulness of the younger sister; that's just how she is. I'm really not very close to either of them, but of the two, I'm closer to the older one.

I've been with my boyfriend for a few years, and the older sister has gotten him something for his birthday each year since we became seriously involved. The younger one forgets his birthday as well as mine, but we've all exchanged Christmas gifts. This year, I forgot the older sister's husband's birthday, which is 2 weeks before mine. Apparently the younger sister also forgot his birthday. Everyone was supposed to come to our parents' house for dinner to celebrate my birthday, but older sister refused because we hadn't acknowledged the husband's birthday. They did send a gift. This was ~6 weeks ago. I am so afraid of confrontation that I've since failed to acknowledge 1) his birthday and 2) their gift to me. She indicated in a passive aggressive email to all of us that she is still upset. I don't know if her husband is actually upset or if she is fueling all of this.

I've also missed the other sister's husband's birthday, ~2 weeks ago. I doubt anyone is upset about this since we don't talk much to begin with, but it wouldn't surprise me if the older sister was upset that I forgot another family birthday. I have the reputation of being somewhat self-centered, which is not the case really - I'm just awkward and forgetful and not naturally a warm, fuzzy person. I live a very different lifestyle than they do and I think she perceives it as arrogance (but I never, ever put down their tastes).

Anyway, I am wondering what to do. Should I give the guys double gifts at Christmas time and tell them that one is for their birthday, and I'm sorry I missed it? Should I talk to the upset sister alone, since she is likely the only one really bothered by this?

Should I be worried about my friend's forgetfulness?

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:07:43 -0800

I know many people, including myself, mistakenly repeat events in our lives to the same individual. However, I have a friend who constantly tells me same things repeatedly. Not nag me to do things, but tell me things that we’ve already discussed at length either verbally or through email. For instance, his car was broken into and his radio was stolen. He told me the day it happened and gave me all the facts. Then a week later, he raised the case again saying he had to go to the store and look for a new radio because his was stolen and he repeated all the facts. Then in an email the other day he told me that he bought a new radio for his car because a few weeks ago, his was stolen. He brings it up as if I’ve never heard it before. He doesn’t just do it with negative events. He does it if he gets a cool gift, or promotion, etc. I’ve told him before that he does this. I started feeling that I wasn’t important enough in his life for him to remember our interactions. I mentioned it to another friend and they laughed and said that he does it to them too which started to get me worried. Is there a psychological/medical reason that my friend does this and should I be worried about their health?

Looking after Mum from a distance...

blue_wardrobe — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 18:21:08 -0800

My aunt called me to say that my Mum is sending off money from the UK to scam artists in Canada. Plus she's left pans on the stove (alight) several times recently, and gone out. Plus she locks herself out incessantly... I live in the US and for medical reasons cannot travel to the UK at the moment.

Mum lives in an apartment, a block of about 12 others, I guess.

We think she should move into some form of sheltered accomodation. She's about 60 and is compos mentis, but terribly scatter-brained and consequently forgetful. She's also quite naive about other people's intentions.

We've tried broaching the topic of sheltered accomodation, but she insists that she's fine. But she's failing to manage her finances, and risks burning the apartment block down.

I can't travel to see her at present for a few weeks at least, for medical reasons, and anyway I don't know what options there are and who to contact.

What professionals, services, etc. in the UK can I contact, and what types of options are there to get her into sheltered accomodation, given her wishes are not aligned with everyone else's perception of her needs.

Not sure if this is law & government or human relations. Probably both.

Again, for those who speed-read, my Mum is in the UK, and I am in the US, so UK-specific advice is what I really need, please, O MeFites.

i can't brain this month, i have too much dumb.

divabat — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 23:38:32 -0800

Why am I so scatterbrained? How can I get my brain back? I moved to another country about a month ago for university, and I've noticed just how scatterbrained I've become. It's completely out of character for me. I don't get what's going on.

I keep losing my bags. Normally I'm really careful with my things, but these days I don't even notice something's gone until I start looking for it and realize "oh, it's not where I thought it was". Right now I'm trying to look for a bag I lost yesterday! I can't imagine where else it may have been; retracing my steps takes me nowhere and i distinctly remember bringing the bag back home.

I also have trouble remembering appointments. Usually I have a good memory when it comes to this. Now I don't even remember it unless someone reminds me. Typing/writing it up somewhere helps, but not much (sometimes I'd forget to write it up!). I'm even having trouble keeping track of what day it is today.

I'm forgetting simple tasks (like buying something I need or getting money off the ATM or whatever) and schoolwork is getting lethargic. It's hard to even READ the material, and it's not even something very jargonny. I usually have very good comprehension skills...

What's going on? Is the big move and transition affecting my brainpower? How can I get my brainpower and energy back? And how do I stop being so scatterbrained?

(I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I used to be treated for panic disorder & depression but I stopped meds about 2 years ago. I have been suspected of having ADHD (by docs) but I've never been officially tested and there wasn't a pressing need to get medicated.)