Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with firing

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:06:52 -0800

Countdown to my annual review--and I'm a freaking out (sort of). What's the best way to get through it? My annual review is approaching. My employer (law firm) is doing OK, but many colleagues have been lost to "stealth layoffs" this year. There is an air of randomness to the whole thing, and everyone has one or two projects where their performance was not 100%, which is more than enough to give you an ulcer over your future. If I am going to be one of those unlucky stiffs who get canned, the decision would have been made in advance, so no amount of reciting my accomplishments will help me now.

At this point, I've been sweating bullets at work for long enough that I'm numb to the whole process. I don't want to lose my job, but I don’t love it or the environment anymore. I fear that this ambivalence is counterproductive when I go into the review--though, as I said above, I don't think there's anything I can say to keep my job if I've already lost it. My reviews in the past have been positive, but everyone's files have been papered to support a dismissal (this is an at-will state).

Any tips on getting through this? I'll definitely have a good breakfast, but other than that, I feel like I'm flying blind. If I were to be let go, I'd like to stay classy, though I'm not averse to playing hardball (but I am pretty certain I would be out hardballed). For instance, should I record the conversation? In general, do you negotiate for severance (or better severance) on the spot, or after the dust settles? I respect the people who will give me my review, but I generally feel that any performance-based justification for my dismissal would be mostly bullshit. Is it worth fighting back when they give you a trumped up reason, or just let it go? I'm not sure whether I would continue in this field if I were to look for a new job (do they even have new jobs these days?).

Thanks. Any advice is appreciated, whether or not directly in response to the specific questions above.

What to do about my excruciating work situation?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:52:59 -0800

What are the best strategies for my current work situation? Question relates to disability, unemployment, and illegal activities (not mine). Apologies for any lack of detail, but, you know, anonymity.

I've been at my current job for about a year and a half, where I'm a good performer. Since requesting reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities act (I work in Illinois), my manager and the HR department have started building a tardiness-related firing case (no other employees in the department even have their arrival times tracked), I've had my shift switched back and forth (in addition to some other petty stuff that's jerky but not, apparently, illegal), brought to meetings with HR where I'm yelled at and not allowed to talk, and other Office Space-ish nonsense. One lawyer (although not my lawyer) told me it was clearly retaliation.

Further: the company is misleading in the descriptions of some of its products (although I'm not sure if it crosses the line into actionable fraud as IANAL), they haven't hung the required labor-law posters, and they (as in, the company, not individual users) install pirated software on computers (I've brought this up to multiple managers with no result, and have screencaps of cracker signatures from multiple installs).

Possibly more important: the stress just from going in every day is becoming unbearable. I feel like I'm going to "lose it." My health's been affected. I'm sick of the frustration and I'm sick of taking their shit, and I've run the situation (in much more detail, obviously) by some of my more level-headed friends, and they agree that I'm being treated quite poorly.

So: should I wait until they fire me (as they've told me they will the next time I'm at all late - it's a "right to work" state so that's their right, I guess, ADA issues aside), quit and try to collect unemployment insurance until another full-time job comes up (Illinois seems to allow this if the company was participating in illegal activity), or stick it out, hope their assholism toward me crosses the line into blatant illegality (after reading a recent Metafilter post on workplace bullying, I realized my manager met about 2/3 of the criteria, but, again, being a jerk isn't illegal), and depend on the legal system to provide redress?

When is it reasonable to fire your psychiatrist?

grippycat — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:07:06 -0800

When is it reasonable to fire your psychiatrist? Bonus question: If they can't be "fired", what's the therapeutic benefit to being forced to work with a doctor who you find unprofessional and do not trust? You're not my doctor, and I'm not looking for medical advice - I am under medical care, medicated and following my med regimen like a superhero.

My psychiatrist, who I've only been seeing for a few months (for a half hour at a time), during one of my last appointments with him accused me of being a drunk and a suicide risk, specifically because "my files" show I was not participating nor making an effort in therapy, I'm obviously an alcoholic and I have no friends or family. He suggested I go immediately into hospital because I'd totally try to kill myself over the holiday, and to get valium'ed to the brim for what would be my inevitable alcohol withdrawal.

Um. I have a kitty at home who I don't want to leave, good friends, and certainly hadn't been thinking nor talking "suicide, yay!"
I fully, totally admit I had an xmas bender, but I also fully and totally admitted my bender to the psychiatrist specifically to ask about any possible interaction with the meds, because I'm not stupid and know that in general, meds+rye=bad. I've never shown up drunk or hungover to therapy or the psychiatrist, nor am I currently drunk, hungover or withdrawing.
I have no idea what could have possibly been in "my files" to indicate that I wasn't working in therapy; I spoke to the group therapist myself, asked if there was anything of the sort in her records, and if so why hadn't she or one of the other therapists brought it up with me directly? Said therapist promised to get back to me two weeks ago, hasn't yet, and has since sent discharge papers from that therapy group to my family doctor.

Anyhow, this whole mess made a bad holiday worse and had me wondering if I was actually delusional - I had friends house-sit me to give me an objective outside opinion to whether I was having alcohol withdrawal, not following through with commitments, misremembering or misrepresenting events, or acting suicidal. The verdict all around: nope, neither drunk nor suicidal, if you have no friends then what the hell are we, and your shrink sounds like a dick!

There is a dearth of psychiatrists in Ontario, and I understand that I may not have a choice to not work with this particular doctor if I get sick beyond what my family doc can treat. I just don't want to put my mental health in the hands of a doctor who doesn't know me, doesn't take my concerns seriously or my words at face value, and makes me feel crappy and wondering if I've gone crazy(er).

Should I warn another employer about an ex-employee?

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:22:06 -0800

I had a seriously unpleasant experience with a former employee in the aftermath of his termination, and I have since learned that he is employed at a similar business in another city. Is it my place to warn them? This person stole money (which led to his termination) and then after being fired, attempted to retaliate in various ways, including destruction of property. There is much more to the story but let it suffice to say that the person proved himself to be unquestionably a bad news character, perhaps even sociopathic. I do not, however, consider him a danger to anyone (at least in terms of a physical threat).

Upon learning that he was employed at a similar business elsewhere (he left town after all the aforementioned went down), it occurred to me that perhaps I should warn the relevant people at this other business. They hadn't called for a reference. I don't believe my motivation to be vindictive, but rather, for the reason that I would have appreciated such a warning from a credible source before hiring the person. Still, I can't decide if it's the right or wrong thing to do. What Would Metafilter Do?

Should I tell someone they will be fired?

reenum — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 06:55:03 -0800

My secretary will get fired at the end of the day. Should I tell her in advance? I was talking to my supervisor yesterday, and found out that my secretary will get fired at the end of the day.

Over the past few months, her and I have gotten friendly. We're not pals, but we can generally carry on an enjoyable conversation. I feel terrible that she is going to get blindsided by this firing at the end of the day.

Should I leave the situation alone, or should I take my secretary aside and let her know she needs to start packing? Do any of you foresee me revealing the firing as being adverse to me here at the office?

How to cope with the firing of a friend and coworker?

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:37:16 -0800

A friend was just fired from my department for somewhat vague reasons. I've heard the story from my friend, and the managers have yet to say anything to the rest of us. As far as I can tell, my friend did nothing scandalous, illegal, or that violated my employer's policies. My friend is also not lazy. Everyone in the department is confused, and our morale is clearly shot. How do I support my friend and my coworkers? How can I/we move on enough to get day-to-day work done? In addition, the firing of my friend (or the loss of any of us) could screw us over moreso - we're behind on some projects and his loss will could them run seriously later. We've also been told by the managers that "deadlines are going to become more strict" and the like. How do I tell the managers this? I've had some concerns about a lack of project management, and the timing to discuss this is both appropriate and kind of horrible.

____ is a privilege, not a right!

sixcolors — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:13:59 -0800

What are some LESS obvious things that can disqualify someone from obtaning a job, car, or an apartment? I think it's well known that if someone has a criminal record, they'll have a lot of trouble finding employment. Or, if you get a DUI, your driver's license may be suspended or even revoked. But, I'm sure there's less obvious things that can cut off your access to housing, transportation, and employment.

It almost happened to me a few years ago. My father is one of those people who do not like to put his vehicle documents in his glove department or anywhere else in his car. He fears that if someone steals his car, they may steal his identity also, or the thieves may locate his address and stalk him. When I was younger, I let him talk me into doing same thing. Well, I got into a little fender-bender, and the cop asked me for my vehicle documents. I didn't have them, and the cop told me that was a somewhat serious offense. I asked what could happen. He said, depending on my record, I could lose my driving privileges for a year and have to pay a $1000 fine. We did NOT learn about this in drivers ed!

Fortunately, nothing happened, but it was a wake up call that the possiblity of me losing my driving privileges was a lot easier than I previously thought. As I am transitioning into "adult" life, the fear of me not being able access (or losing access to) transportation, housing, and employment is increasing.

So, what are some less obvious things:

1. That could prevent me from getting a job...or get me fired?
2. That could prevent me from buying a new car, having my license revoked/suspended, or having my car repossesed?
3. That could prevent me from renting out a house or apartment?

I need advice on firing two employees!

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:07:41 -0800

I need to terminate two employees this week... I need to terminate two employees this week (in the US, Illinois) do I need to contact the Unemployment Administration and let them know, or do I wait until the employees file and assume that I will be notified?

How can I fire my house keeper?

jeff_w_welch — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:39:06 -0800

So I've had this house keeper for a couple of years now. She's always done "good enough" work. I've had some complaints, but nothing serious. So last weekend, on a whim, I used another service and what a difference! They did a fantastic job all around. So how do I get rid of my current house keeper?

Should the nice, not very talented person be fired because a more talented person came along?

jmitchell — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:28:31 -0800

Should the nice, dependable, but not so talented person be fired because a more talented person came along? This is in an at-will state in America.

Person A has been dependable, but lackluster in performance. Nothing terrible, but nothing exciting. This person will do what's told and generally does an ok job of it. However they do have a track record of making small mistakes, such as spelling errors or misfiling. These errors have cost the company money, though not a huge amount.

Person B contacted other person in the company, asking if there were any open positions like Person A's. Person B was referred to the manager of Person A's department and a informal interview happened, in which Person B showed that they would be an improvement over Person A in talent, ability and lack of errors.

Again, this is an at will state in America.

Should Person A be let go, in favor of Person B? Person A is very nice and liked in the small office, so their firing might not be taken well. However, for the company Person B is looking to be a substantial improvement for the department and company. There's just the matter of firing the very nice Person A and bringing in Person B.

What would you do in this situation?

My husband and I work at the same place, and now he's being fired. Now what?

Anonymous — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 08:24:10 -0800

Two academics, married to each other, at the same liberal arts college. One has been---unjustly and unwarrantedly---not recommended for reappointment. We're planning to appeal, but I'm not sanguine about the outcome. How bad is this likely to get, politically? Any advice? My husband and I both work at the same liberal arts college. I'm up for tenure this year (and think I'm likely to get it, although my faith in the process has been severely shaken by the following saga). My husband was hired a couple years later than I was. He had some teaching-related issues his first couple of years, and received a stern warning review last January. He took steps to fix the teaching issues during spring of last year, but had some of the same issues appear in the courses he taught last fall (before the review letter). There was no follow-up from the Dean's office regarding the bad review.

This year (having foolishly decided to take a year of credit before the bad review, and then not being allowed to reverse that decision) he was up for review again. Near as we can tell, the promotion and tenure committee ignored the work he'd done last spring to improve his teaching, focussing more on the bad student evaluations from last fall (i.e., before the bad review)...long story short, they recommend he not be reappointed, despite a positive recommendation from the department. He's planning to proceed on the appeals process at the school, but at this point I don't think the administration will pay any attention (they probably won't be willing to admit they made a mistake).

Any advice on how to handle this? How bad is the fallout likely to be from pursuing the appeals process? Suppose it escalates to needing to sue (as a tenured friend of ours at the school suggests)? Is it likely to be ok for me to continue working at the school, assuming that I do get tenure? (After all, someone needs a permanent job...and we've got kids and a house, so picking up and moving would be more complicated that it might otherwise be.)

Flaky new employee- should I even bother?

parkerjackson — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 09:26:40 -0800

How can I fire a new employee before his first day even starts? I work in a research lab at a major university. We're hiring some undergrads to do some hourly work in graphic design and page layout work. I'm concerend about one of our potential employees. This particular person seemed great in his interview, so we offered him a job, but now I'm getting some bad signals. From the start, he was always really slow to reply to emails (at least a week went by after I replied to his initial contact). That's ok, prompt emailing is nice but not required for the job, as long as overall he's responsible and detail-oriented. Now, we're trying to get his paperwork filled out, but he keeps missing his scheduled time to come in (or comes in after the agreed upon range of time, during the lunch hour, when HR is closed for lunch). The first day, he actually didn't even call until well after the scheduled time and said he was really sick and had to sleep in (he did look very rough when I saw him later).
We can let this person go any time if it doesn't work out, but I don't think I want to even mess with actually hiring him in the first place. He seems like a guaranteed failure. Two questions:
1. Am I being judgmental? Should I give this person a shot?
2. How can I tell him nevermind on the job offer? Supposedly, he's coming in today, but we agreed on 9:30am and it's already after 11. Should I tell him when he arrives or shoot an email and hope he gets it before he comes in (not at all guaranteed)?

Is blackmail always illegal?

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 04:25:36 -0800

I have a question about forcing an employee to resign. I have an employee who has been having affairs with multiple women over the past few years. He's a guidance counselor in our school district as well as a sports coach after school. I discovered these affairs by reading his email while investigating another charge against him (that turned out to have no merit). These women include other staff members, coaches from other schools and parents of kids he coaches. The emails between them are extremely explicit and detailed (think Dear Penthouse...).

This is unacceptable for several reasons and I want him gone ASAP, but I don't think my case is strong enough to fire him considering our teacher's union is very strong.

This is my question: Would it be illegal for me to threaten to send these emails to his wife if he doesn't resign? Could I get myself or our district in trouble by attempting this?

FYI: Not to sound rude, but I really don't care if anyone thinks I shouldn't get rid of him.

Help me fire someone.

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 04:43:13 -0800

Some advice on terminating an employee, please. There is much I'm in a new position where I have a number of direct reports. One of my salaried employees does substandard work, shows no commitment (she leaves no later than 5:00, goofs off on the internet, and then has the gall to complain about deadlines), and doesn't take instruction well. I can explain exactly what needs to be done, at 9:00 in the morning, and at the end of the day what I get is half the job, and that half is done poorly. She is a writer, by he way.

Another thing is, this person deliberately sneaks out of the office every afternoon - the quickest way out is to walk right past my door, but she never does. She goes the long way, and I think it is so that I don't see her. Finally, I don't think she is properly reporting time off.

So - what do I do? A few specifics here - is it OK for me to ask HR to pull her time off records? And what is your advice for getting around the usual procedure of cooking up some 90-day probationary period and setting goals for the person, etc. I want her out. Now. She has been here since I got here, and is past the initial 90-day " trial" period. Also, how do I catalog her deficiencies - she's been turning work in on time, but as I said, it is unusable, and sometimes not complete. Since the work involves writing on arcane subject matter, it is not immediately apparent to non-experts that the work I'm getting is half-baked, sloppy, etc.

Oh, and what if someone (potential employer) comes asking for a recommendation? I can not in good conscience recommend this person for another writing job.

Thanks!

Friend: Do I report my boyfriend to HR?

Mo Nickels — Mon, 12 Dec 2005 11:44:52 -0800

For a friend: "My boyfriend and I work for the same company. After a couple of years, we are becoming very serious. I work in human resources. He works elsewhere in the building. As part of building our total trust in each other, he told me that he was once arrested for a non-violent, non-drug crime and jailed for a few days. Do I report him?" She continues,

"It was a case of bad life events mixed with bad company and youthful spirits. He pled guilty, did some community service and probation, and has been a straight arrow ever since. This was 20 years ago. I know all his details to be true with absolute certainty. He is totally and inarguably a good person and a good citizen and hasn't so much as stolen a grape in a grocery store—except, he lied on his application for his current job because he didn't think it mattered any more. Now that I know about the arrest and the conviction, I am obligated by my job to report him.

"No matter what, I think he's the one for me. I do prize the relationship more than my job. The way I see it, I have these options:

1. Report him with his knowledge. Hope he's not fired. Deal with it if he is.
2. Report him without his knowledge. Hope he's not fired and doesn't break up with me. Deal with either if they happen.
3. Quit my job so I don't have to report him. It's a good job, though.
4. Have him quit his job so I don't have to report him. It's a good job, though."

From Mo: I normally don't believe in posting questions for a friend (get an account!) but this one's a peach of a dilemma. I've cleaned up her question and paraphrased. What would you do in her shoes?

Fired! How to Deal?

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Dec 2004 15:39:44 -0800

About a year ago, I was unjustly fired. My employer was careful to do it in a way to avoid any legal disputes. How does one get over thoughts of revenge and confrontation. I've considered sending a letter to the person responsible, explaining exactly how I feel about it all. I was never given a proper explaination and the whole thing feels unresolved. I realize a letter is somewhat juvenile and unproductive but I feel this might help me cope. I really want to put this all behind me.

how to write a rejection letter

o2b — Thu, 04 Mar 2004 16:30:50 -0800

Rejection letters -- writing, not receiving. I've just started an online art gallery, and am soliciting submissions. I'm getting some good ones, but, as expected, I'm also getting some not-so-good ones.

What do I say in a rejection letter? I'm rather passive aggressive and have a very hard time with this kind of thing.