Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with finances

Who can I go to for tax advice for this unusual and embarrassing problem?

Anonymous — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:35:06 -0800

Who can I go to for tax advice for this unusual, personal and embarrassing problem? OK... I've been mostly unemployed for the past few years, working sporadically for self-support (I'm OK for now).

My parents don't know this, and believe I've been holding down a 20-30 hour a week job, and I absolutely prefer it to stay that way for now.

My problem: The family shares income from various stock and bond holdings (S Corp), and the parents would like me to run some numbers through TurboTax and last year's taxes to help figure out my "effective capital gains rate" for the coming year . OK. I can't do that; any capital gains rate estimate would reveal (I would think) my unemployed status and very, very low income. What I need is some kind of typical numbers for the kind of job they believe I have that I could feed into turbo tax to create a viable effective capital gains rate estimate.

I'm not financially savvy, unlike my parents who have worked all their lives in the financial world. Would somebody at, say HR Block be able - or even willing - to help with this problem, and what would I be expected to be charged for it? Basically, I'm just trying to hold onto my private status as unemployed for the moment; I'm not trying to defraud anyone or do anything illegal, and when I file my taxes in the spring, I will (as always) use only my true numbers.

What to do?

Help me not turn into a hopeless Scrooge!

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:03:45 -0800

I rule at saving money, and suck at the alternative. Please help this frugal girl learn to spend her hard-earned cash without experiencing fits of anxiety. (I know this question might seem a bit ridiculous, but please bear with me.)

Here goes. Over the past five+ years I've managed to save up a decent chunk of cash. Around $40,000, to be more specific, with another $20,000 in retirement savings. I'm 26, so this means that in comparison to my debt-ridden friends, I'm pretty loaded. I have this money through a combination of factors - my parents helped pay for my post-secondary schooling, I worked hard at a good job for the last few years, have no car/mortgage/children/debt, and am generally pretty frugal in my day-to-day life.

This should be a good thing, but instead it's causing me no end of anxiety. I'm currently living abroad and teaching English part-time (on sabbatical from aforementioned job). I could have afforded to simply take a year off to travel, but for an anxiety-prone person this seemed like a bit too much free time on my hands. So the goal was to have the chance to travel and see more of the world, with some daily structure. And, presumably, to spend some of my savings on much-deserved rewards.

Instead I'm agonizing over price tags - whether to buy a dress I don't desperately need but like well enough, go out for dinner or eat at home, stay at a hostel when I travel or at a hotel, etc. It's a constant battle between being a total cheapo and the desire to spend in a worthwhile way, an inner debate on whether something will ultimately be worth the money, or a source of regret. The times I do buy anything remotely expensive (or even average-priced, vs. on sale), it tends to be a bit random and sometimes forced. $60,000 isn't crazy money, but it's more than a need day-to-day, and although I'm proud to have amassed this much, the result is that money has kind of lost its meaning for me. Prices feel arbitrary, and thus confusing.

None of my friends are in the same boat - most are living lives of necessary rather than voluntary frugality, given our meagre paychecks, which makes me even more cash-conscious. My savings are basically a secret, and I don't have a good reference point for what constitutes healthy spending.

I also have no specific goal in mind for this money. I'd like to do an MA some day, but not yet. I'd like to put a down-payment on a house, but later. I don't want a car or anything else with a sizable price tag. I'd be happy to invest my savings (and $20,000 is already invested), but the rates are so awful right now that it doesn't feel like I'm doing much of anything.

Any advice for how to be a healthy saver AND spender, or similar experiences? I'd really like my money to feel like a blessing, and not a burden. I know I could try making a budget, setting monthly allowances, etc, but in the past I've had a hard time sticking to rigid plans in part because my natural inclination is to spend less, which makes a budget feel like needless work. (I could also try to find wealthier friends, I suppose, but I'm a far cry from a trust fund baby, so I don't know if that would do much to engender healthy habits.)

No throwaway email, but I will send follow-up comments/responses to question to mathowie or jessamyn for posting. Thanks in advance.

How can I get myself to stop rationalizing bad behavior?

dumbledore69 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:05:50 -0800

There are a lot of goals that I am working towards, that are easily within my reach if I just stick to some simple routine tasks. However, I always wind up sabotaging myself by making excuses for or rationalizing getting off track, and ignoring the reminders and cues I have created for myself to stay on track. How can I knock it off so I can reach my goals? I have been doing a lot of work lately on some of my goals, mainly weight loss and getting my finances in order (paying off my credit cards and stop overdrawing my frigging bank account).

I know exactly what I have to do, I know exactly how to do it, and I have done both of these things with fantastic success before. My problem is that whenever I become sidetracked with something else that I consider urgent, or stressed out and cranky, I am really good at either ignoring my big picture goals, making rationalizations for not working towards those goals, or even lying to myself or others about my behavior towards reaching those goals.

I think this is one of my biggest issues, and I just do NOT know how to knock it off.

For example, let's use weight loss.

I have lost large chunks of weight before and kept it off for a good amount of time. I know exactly what to do so that I can do it in a way that is pleasant for me.

To lose weight, basically all I need to do is the following:
- Eat breakfast at home instead of on the run.
- Bring lunch & snacks to work instead of eating out or running to the caf.
- Take 10-15 minutes each evening or morning to plan out my meals for the day (and total the calories or WW points).
- Take 30 min - 1 hour most days of the week to do any workout I choose, whether it's a Wii workout or a video or the elliptical at the gym or a walk outside (and I enjoy all of these things!).
- Remember to face the music no matter how the week went and weigh myself & track my weight every week.

There are other things I try to do, sure, like looking at the balance of the types of foods I eat and taking vitamins and getting enough rest, and so on. But these are the basics.

However, I typically start slipping after a month or two. Usually it's little things at first, but then as other things start stressing me out, I turn to food (or excessive spending, on the financial end) to soothe me and cheer myself up.

And I will recognize this and set up ways to keep myself accountable, like setting up bets with friends (I'll pay them $5 a week if I don't exercise 3x) or websites to nag me daily to remember my goals, etc. I have tried SO MANY awesome tools, and had so much great support from my friends (who despite the fact that they would profit from my failure, always encouraged me).

But it doesn't work, because I will just ignore the email reminders or lie about my workout sessions. It's awful, and I really, truly hate myself for being like that. I even lie to myself sometimes about what I've eaten or readjusting my priorities.

But it always comes back down to the fact that I really do not like where I'm at ... I'm 100+ lbs overweight (though I am a bit down from my high weight), still in credit card debt (though I have paid off quite a large chunk of it so far), and I have like no faith in myself to really keep trying because nothing can keep me honest.

And I know the response is often that I must not want it badly enough or I would just do it and stop lying to myself. But it's NOT that I don't want to lose weight & pay off my credit cards badly...I do. I want it more than anything. Failure to do these things is preventing me from starting a family or to feel secure in my life. Not a day goes by when I don't hate those things about myself.

But it's like a different person takes over when I fall off the wagon and just want to be left alone to eat or spend. It's not me, that person has no goals except to get a little fix from food or spending. It's so stupid, but I seriously do not know what to do.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with this?

Is having "it" together an unrealistic goal?

dumbledore69 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:44:47 -0800

As a 30-year old who is a part-time grad student and a full-time office worker, are my goals to get control over my life (weight loss, finances, home, work, etc) really unrealistic? Is there a way to just be NORMAL and balanced, or is it really just normal not to really have things together, even as an adult? I am a 30-year old woman, and while working through a number of issues (depression, anxiety, ADHD) I have come to realize that I am deeply unhappy with how I manage my life. I thought medication, which does help, was going to be a magic bullet somehow, but of course that was kind of a stupid assumption for me and I still have a lot of the same issues.

So...the things I am most unhappy about are:

1) My weight. I need to lose at least 80 lbs, but probably more like 100. My general physical health (blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc) are fine, but I think I've got a genetic disposition towards diabetes and cancer, so I feel like my healthy days are numbered if I don't get things under control. Plus I'm endlessly depressed that I have to wear plus-sized clothing and get these awesome doses of extra low self esteem (to supplement my generally low self-esteem) every time I remember how fat I am because of pictures of me that suck or clothes that don't fit or things I can't do because of my weight. I know that I *can* lose weight, and I have (but regained most of it). Sometimes I get really into my weight, and when it's my top priority, I lose it. But then when I try to focus on something else important, I gain it back because I lose focus of whatever isn't my current pet project.

2) My house. Unless my obsession du jour is cleaning/organizing, I am a slob. When my house is clean, it's very very clean. And it makes me so happy to have it clean. I can't accept that I am a slob, because I feel so stressed when my house is messy, and I can't find things or have people over. I love being home when my house is clean, and I generally enjoy cleaning tasks, believe it or not.

3) My finances. I have also made good progress in paying off some of my credit card debt ... it was $17k, and now it's down to $11k. But I still feel like there are times when I'm really good about money and think before I purchase something and don't spend more than I have budgeted, and there are times when I am focused on other things and go crazy and spend what I want to (or feel that I need to) without regard for the big picture or the balance in my checking account. Some months I pay a large chunk of debt off, and some months I amass hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees because I was focused on something else (like losing weight ... in a weight-loss fueled time period, I'll spend a lot more on groceries and fitness gadgets and workout clothes and justify the spending because "I deserve whatever will help me lose this weight!"). I badly just want to pay off all this debt and be able to stick to my budget.

4) Work ... I get distracted at work, I am sure often because of my ADHD and some perfectionistic tendencies towards my larger projects (and resulting anxiety), but I also tend to get distracted by my current obsession (weight, organizing, cleaning, etc). I just want to be able to focus on WORK at work, all the time, or at least most of the time. And then when I leave work, I'd like to not think about it much anymore (within reason, at least). When I get into SUPER AWESOME WORKER ME mode, I tend to obsess, bringing work home, and just thinking about it all the time. And I might let other things slip because I'm so focused on making things as comfortable and easy as possible for me to do the best work I can.

5) Mood. Not sure if this belongs in this list, because I don't have a history of obsessing about this. But because of all the stress and frustration and all, I know I need to make taking care of my emotional health and mood a higher priority. My plans have been to set aside Sundays to do fun/relaxing things instead of errands / homework / chores, unless I absolutely have to. And making more time to just READ. And I know exercise and supplements will help, too, just like they will with weight.

In talking to both friends and a therapist, a common thread is that they think my expectations for myself are unrealistic and that I need to pick and choose priorities. My argument is that all of my expectations are vital and that I cannot drop any of them.

Also, it's not like I've never tried to focus on one or two goals at a time. I mean, I'm always trying to fix the things I am unhappy about, as I've mentioned above. At any given time, I feel obsessively focused on fixing one area of my life. And I do GREAT at it.

Like, last winter I was all about weight loss. I lost 40 lbs and 2 sizes in about 2-3 months by doing an hour of hard cardio a day, plus yoga twice a week, plus eating very regimented, pre-portioned Weight Watchers-pointed meals. I was a superstar, right until I simultaneously burned out on weight loss and panicked the hell out about something else I dropped the ball on, my finances.

I quickly got all psyched about fixing my budget, so I worked to correct the damage to my bank account caused during the weight loss bit (having spent a lot on assorted special diet foods and supplements, lots of workout clothes, etc), amassed and paid up any neglected bills, automated a lot of my bills, eliminating some expenses, and just doing a really good job there, and learning about finances a bit. It was great until it came time to maintain that. Then it was boring and I was off to the next thing.

It frustrates me so much, and the more I learn about ADHD the more it seems to make sense that I do this. I love the excitement of swooping in and making great plans and implementing them and getting stimulated over sparkling challenges and quick rewards.

But I can't live like this anymore. I just want to work on making some moderate changes to all of these parts of my life. Everyone keeps telling me to PICK something to focus on, and I'm scared of that. I think it's just going to land me right back where I always am ... obsessed with something until it's no fun anymore.

Can't I just be a NORMAL chick who is at a reasonable weight (I don't need to be really skinny, I just want to be in normal US Misses sizes!), who does work consistently, who keeps a reasonably neat house, and who can spend money and save money like a grown up? And who isn't a total basketcase all the time?

I just feel like what I want for myself isn't unrealistic, and that I just need to find a way to build moderate habits in all areas at once, building on them until I get close to my goals. But at the same time, it almost seems like having your shit together is an unreasonable expectation to everyone else.

So what do I do? Do I really have to drop some of my expectations? Or is there a way I can get closer to where I want to be?

How do you negotiate a bill for medical services already rendered?

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:09:01 -0800

What approaches have worked for you to reduce the size of a medical bill after services have been rendered? A friend went to her gynecologist after getting an abortion. Among other tests, the office ran STD tests that wound up costing over $900.

Clearly there's been an exchange of fluids if there's an abortion, so it just makes sense to test for STDs. However, her insurance only covered catastrophic injuries etc., not "routine" tests, which these were considered. None of these tests were covered by her insurance.

She did not realize this, though of course she should have, is an adult, and is ultimately responsible for the bills. I recognize that, but I'm still ticked off about the situation. The health clinic in the area offers free STD testing. Every doctor I've ever been to knew exactly what was covered by my insurance, and how much they would be getting, before providing any services to me.

I feel like her doctor's office failed to take her total well being into account. I think they took advantage of her lack of understanding the situation and essentially robbed her. I'm assuming they had no legal obligation to mention any alternate places to get the testing done, but I'm certain they had a moral one, and I'm kind of furious about it.

Hopefully the above venting also provided sufficient background for the question. I've seen previous threads that talked about how medical bills can be negotiated. Is this a case where negotiating is possible? What tactics would you recommend or have worked for you in a similar situation in the past? Who, title-wise, should she insist on speaking to?

How to convert credit card debt to a business loan?

KathrynT — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:31:41 -0800

You are not my accountant. How do you convert personal debt to business debt? My sister-in-law and her husband are the owners of a chiropractic practice with no employees other than themselves. They opened the practice shortly after being married, and paid for nearly all the startup costs with their credit cards rather than securing a small business loan. The business is doing fine, or anyway as fine as it really can be given the economy; they have a steady and increasing client stream, and word of mouth is getting out.

But their interest rates have been hiked on their credit cards, and now they're facing increasingly enormous minimum payments that are really affecting their ability to get by. In retrospect, their decision to use credit cards for this purpose was pretty poor, and they recognize that, but barring a time machine, they can't change that now. In this economy, what's the chance of them getting a business loan now? Is there any way they can convert this massive unsecured consumer debt into a business debt that's more reasonable, interest-wise? Any other advice for them? They're in a largish city in the Pacific Northwest.

How to invest $30k for 3 months?

trbrts — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:09:12 -0800

What are some good low risk ways to invest $30k for about a 3 month period? So, our house is under contract, but, so far we've been unable to find a house that's meeting our requirements. At this point I feel that we aren't going to see anything good until after the holidays. So, we're probably going to switch over to looking for a rental. Rather than just sticking the money in the savings account, I'm open to taking some of it and seeing if we can get some kind of return, but, I don't know anything about investing. So, what are some ways I can invest around $30k for around a 3 month time frame that will see some kind of return. Obviously I can't get too crazy with this money and I understand that 3 months is a pretty short timeframe. Would there be any tax implications in doing this? Thanks in advance.

If you had the opportunity to start over, what would you do?

helios410 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:34:55 -0800

If you had the opportunity to start over, what would you do? I can't afford to live in Manhattan anymore. After five years of attempting to gain a steady career, it's time for me to throw in the towel.

I am 27 years old. I have a bachelor's degree. And I have freelanced for a handful of television networks for the past 5 years, mostly doing creative editorial (read: post-production) for on-air and web promos. Frankly, I can't tell if it's the fact that it's so difficult to keep a steady flow of work, or I am just generally unimpressed with the job itself, but I am burnt out. Furthermore, financially I am not making ends meet because I only get 1-2 gigs a week (which usually last a day).

What I am looking for is steady work, but my feeling is I have been working in such a niche field that my skills are not portable to other industries. I do consider going back to school for an MBA, but my undergrad GPA is a feeble 2.4 as I was battling depression during college (and still am to this day). Frankly, I am not sure if business school is the way to go. But in today's economy the lingering feeling is an MBA is one of the few masters degrees that usually pays for itself.

Considering I am split between trying to find new work in a budding or stable industry and going back to school, I have two questions:

1) What resources are available to find out where job growth is occurring? Note: I am not limiting myself to the US. If you tell me China, I ask how do I get hired there.

2) Besides US News & Reports, what resources can I use to learn about business school programs, and learn whether an MBA from an average school is worth the cost? Especially those schools who, assuming I managed to pull a kick ass GMAT score, would consider an individual with a less than stellar undergrad GPA like myself.

I have no direction, but I know I need a serious change, because the fact is relying on parents for financially support is taking its toll on how I value myself. Thanks for reading this longish post.

Can bank charge off auto loan with totaled car despite continued payments?

Nickel — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:55:56 -0800

Car was totaled, bank that gave auto loan charged off the loan account because the collateral is gone despite us continuing with full and on time payments. What are our options? Our car was considered totaled by the insurance company, but the insurance company is refusing to pay for various reasons (not the point of this post, we've already hired a lawyer) so we can't pay off the loan in full. We've continued to make monthly payments in full to the bank that holds the loan.

However, the bank then sends us a letter saying they are charging off the account. A check of the credit report confirms that they have listed it as a negative account there. We call/write with proof that all payments have been made on time and in the full amount, they respond that it is their policy to charge off loans that have lost their collateral.

Is this legit? What are our options? It just seems wrong that they can charge off an account when we've been making all the payments and have proof of our payments.

I'm on the schedule to teach at an event, but can't afford to travel there!

FlyByDay — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:07:42 -0800

I'm on the board of directors of an org that's hosting an event. I'm expected to pay my way to the event, though I'm teaching and donating my time. This is a serious financial hardship for me, but not for some of my peers. How do I ask for/get assistance when they don't need it? How do I encourage the org to move to this model for everyone? I am on the board of directors of an (international) music organization. I've been on the board for about a year, but have been involved in this community for several years, and am considered "elite" and established in this genre. There are 19 people on the board, many of us new, all of us considered the cream of the crop of this genre (I tell you this by way of set up, not to brag). This org has started to partner with various festivals and events, some of which are 2-3 day events filled with concerts, competitions and workshops. We, the board members, are encouraged to teach at these workshops. Our expertise runs an impressive gamut, so we comprise a good amount of the instructors at these events.

The problem for me (and for the org, as I see it) is that the board members are not only expected to run workshops gratis, but to pay for (our) own travel expenses and donate the costs in kind. For some on the board, this is no hardship at all; for others, it very much is. I'm in the latter group, unfortunately. There's an event coming up next month at which I'm scheduled to teach. If I drove there, it would be a 15 hour drive each way, and the gas would cost close to that of a plane ticket (plus the wear and tear on my car). I would also be driving alone, so that plan seems prohibitive. I also happen to not know anyone in the area with whom I could stay, so I'd have to stay in a hotel, which is where everyone else is staying. I do not have the funds for this. I am struggling right now to pay my bills.

I have approached the org president privately, as well as the board member responsible for fundraising. I believe that our model for all such events should be that expenses should be covered, and both agree that should be what we work towards. We plan to talk about that in an upcoming board meeting. However, for this event, for ME, I'm not sure what to do, and it's coming down to the wire. The event is only a month away. I am on the schedule. There's still the chance that the org will come up with some $$ to cover me (though the policy has been that everyone covers their own expenses for these events), but my inability to pay has to be brought to a sub-committee to be approved or disapproved. That's fairly mortifying to me, but I guess it's the "price" I have to pay for not being as flush as other board members. And I'm not sure they'll approve it at all. In which case, my options are to not go, or to accrue more credit card debt, and pay. Though this would be a good event for me to attend, as both instructor and board member (it is a huge event, and a good one at which to make contacts, be visible, etc), it doesn't seem prudent to put these expenses on a credit card when I'm struggling so.

I guess my question is...what are your thoughts here? What would YOU do? How do I manage my embarrassment of being "exposed" to my peers as someone who needs financial help to get to this event, knowing that I may still be turned down? And then further, any thoughts on how to begin moving towards a model in which these expenses are paid for all board members via some fundraising program? I know that the latter might not be answerable without explicit info on this organization, so feel free to send me a private message.

Thanks!

I want to give money to kids. In the Future!

rmd1023 — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:23:07 -0800

I want to give money to relative's children so that they can use it when they're older. How best to do this? Some of my relatives are having kids, and I'd like to give the kids money. (I'm in the USA.) The oldest of the kids is 5; the youngest (so far) is -3 mos.

The parents all have 529 plans for the kids, but I'd rather not put the money there as 529's are limited to college/educational expenses. I want the kid to be able to spend the money on a shitbox car when they turn 17 or to be able to hike the AT the summer after high school or to buy expensive tools and a worktruck if they eschew college and go into the trades. And have the money in the kid's name, so they can decide for themselves how to use it.

Savings bonds are traditional (and what I've given in the past) but not necessarily as profitable as other financial instruments, and in the case of the oldest child, he'd mature before any new bonds. Are there other bearer instruments? Would non-bearer instruments be done as a UGMA? Should I just buy it in the child's name? How does this all work?

I assume that setting up some kind of "Fund RMD's extended family" trust fund would be excessive for the amounts of money we're talking (several hundred $$ per year per kid), but maybe not?

There have been other questions about investing for kids, but it looks like it's mostly asked by people who are parents rather than great-aunts. Thanks, hive mind!

When they're old enough, I would, of course, buy mefi memberships for them as an investment in AWESOME.

Helping friends in financial difficulty

drzoon — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:00:22 -0800

What's the best way for me to help out some friends who are in financial difficulty right now? Two friends of mine, a married couple with a 15 month old son, are having some fairly severe financial difficulties. Both lost their jobs a few months ago and both are unable to find new jobs.

They're currently struggling to pay any bills or even rent. They've applied for crisis loans and are trying to claim unemployment benefits but seem to be having problems doing so. From the sounds of it, they're not quite at the stage of not being able to feed their son, but they will be there in another week or so.

Some further background: about a year ago, when the husband was in work but they were still in some difficulties, I lent them some money to help them with wedding expenses (around £600). I lent the money with the full expectation of not seeing it again and I realise that will most likely be the case.

I'm going out to see them in the next few days and was wondering what (if anything) I could do to help them out. I'm not too keen on giving them more money, as it may just be swallowed up by creditors and they may see very little of it (although it may buy them a few weeks/months respite). I'd prefer something that I knew went to them and their little baby.

A couple of things I've thought of are:
- Take them food shopping
- Give them some sort of vouchers that could only be used in supermarkets
- Take them out for a meal or 2
- Letting them come live with me so they can save money on rent. They live in another city (around 70 miles away from me), while I live in London
- Do nothing and let them figure it out on their own

Some of these options would make me feel worse (if situations were reversed) and I'm not trying to make them feel bad, or for them to feel as though I'm treating them as charity cases.

I have a stable job and a steady income, and 6months+ savings, so I wouldn't be putting myself in any danger giving them something. I do live in a small 1 bedroom flat though, which will be very cramped with 3.5 people living in it. I'm prepared to put up with it for a few months though.

My friends are both originally from outside the UK (Belgium + Australia) and have no family here in the UK. They will most likely leave the country by the end of the year if things haven't improved for them and return to one of their families. Job opportunities in their home countries are far fewer than here, so they are reluctant to leave.

Have any of you been in similar situations and thought: "I wish someone would do x"? Please let me know. Or anything else you think I could (or should) do to help them out.

Please take my financial pulse...

kitcat — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:06:15 -0800

What do 'normal' finances look like for university-educated, aspiring upper-middle class married couples who don't have kids yet and don't truly feel like adults? Lately, I find that I'm thinking way too much about money - how much I have, how much more I want, what I should spend extra money on, how much I should save... To top it off, I have this lusty money greediness that I just want to go away. It's actually causing me some real anxiety. I think part of my confusion over all this comes from being brought up in a very low-income family. There were no savings, no RRSPs, no family vacations. I have no good example to follow and I can't tell how I'm doing.

I guess what I'm asking for here is a peer evaluation and a point of comparison: am I financially normal? Am I doing ok? Am I missing out on some financial formula for happiness that you know about? Is what I'm feeling here some kind of class anxiety?

Background: I'm 29, female, married, no kids yet. I have a university education and make $36K a year in Canada. After all necessities, bills, debt payments, modest RRSP contribution and modest savings, I have $80/week disposable income that I plan to waste for a while, given that the trade-off for it is quitting smoking.

For now, my husband and I contribute equally to all living expenses but save, pay off our debts and spend our disposable income separately. We are booth happy about this - at least for now. Whoever manages to pay off their debt first will then begin to help the other person and slowly we will merge our finances completely.

I know this is kind of a weird, all over the place question. I'm trying to allay some anxiety by asking this, but I can't quite tell what the anxiety is all about. Anyhow, I appreciate your responses.

MS Money export

emilyv — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:54:30 -0800

How do I export data out of Microsoft Money? I have been using MS Money since 2001 and have about 13 years worth of my financial data in the program. Due to the recent news that Money is going to be discontinued, I'd like to export my data from Money in the easiest way possible. I'm not very tech savvy, so I can't write Python scripts and the like to do this.

As far as exporting, I may try to export it into Moneydance or figure out some way to do this all on spreadsheets. Any suggestions as to how I can keep track of my finances moving forward?

good online financial help

cestmoi15 — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:35:45 -0800

Financial fool filter: I'm looking for authoritative online financial information/planning advice I've tried to search AskMefi, but don't think I've found what I'm looking for (please link if I missed something, quite possible).

I'm trying to do some financial self-help online, for personal reasons, I don't want to see an actual financial planner. I'm looking to get some best ideas or guidelines on budgeting, primarily -- such as x% of monthly or total income should be spent on housing, x on groceries, x on 401k, etc. I'm in NYC, so I'm wondering if those numbers are different here v. other areas. I'd like to know how much risk someone my age should take on in investing, but I'm not looking for investing info at this point, just figuring out how much income should go into it and acceptable risk load would be a great starting point. I'm not looking for books.

Thanks. I've tried to include everything, memail me if you need more info.

I know a lot of you on this site like mint, but I'm not comfortable giving out my account info, so that and anywhere else that requires such personal info is out.

My car was repossessed - now what?

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:26:33 -0800

I've been an irresponsible idiot. My car was repossessed - now what? I got three months behind on my car loan and the car was, of course, repossessed. I didn't take the situation seriously enough - I kept thinking that I could just catch up and everything would be fine. Of course, if I'd realized that they really would take the car, I'd have dealt with it. I was pretty stupid.

I moved across the country, somewhat messily, at the beginning of the year and didn't get Wachovia's mail or phone calls trying to figure out why I wasn't paying my bills - I understand how this looks to them, that I was hiding and/or avoiding them. The final word from the bank is that I can only get the car back by paying off the entire balance - about $12,500. They will not reinstate the loan in any way - not with a higher interest rate or with a co-borrower, which I suppose is totally reasonable on their part.

I really think getting the car back is the best option - I don't want to tell them to keep it and then owe thousands when they sell it way below market at auction. But I don't have the buyout cash available, and would like to refinance the loan through someone else (they assume the debt, send Wachovia a cashier's check, and I start paying them). I've been calling around, and no one so far (my bank, local credit union, a couple online lenders) will do it. I understand that if I can find someone, even the best-case scenario would be extremely expensive, but can anyone recommend a not-too-sketchy lender that would take on this kind of super sub-prime debt?

Or other ideas on how to handle this situation? I'm not upside down on the car - what I owe is about what it's worth, or a little less (I understand that the interest on another loan will mean that I'll ultimately spend more than the car is worth). In applying for refinancing from one place, they told me they couldn't refinance a repoed car but would issue me a loan for a new car. I was surprised that it was at a not-hideous interest rate. My credit is not great (not actively bad, except for the repo, of course; mostly just an absence of history).

Any ideas?

Books and Advice on combining finances after marriage

pithy comment — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:26:50 -0800

Looking for book or website recommendations on combining finances after marriage. Or your thoughts and tips here. I am getting married this summer and have begin to discuss combining accounts with my fiancee. We currently have a shared checking account from which we pay combined monthly bills. We want to know how much more we combine after marriage. We are open with each other about our current outside expenses: credit cards, mortgage, student loans, etc. Should we have one account from which all our expenses come? Should we keep separate accounts for personal expenses? How much should we put in those separate accounts versus the combined account? I am hoping some book will help, but I'm sure that your experiences will be invaluable too!

How much headroom?

yersinia — Mon, 11 May 2009 09:32:04 -0800

Household-budgeting-filter: how can I determine how much "wiggle room" or safety margin will be needed to cover unexpected expenses? How much do you allow, and has it been sufficient? I'm budgeting for a family of three (couple + small child), but I'd be interested in examples from all shapes and sizes of households. Obviously, it'd be best to wait a few months and then figure it out empirically from actual spending patterns, but a combo of recent lifestyle changes plus imminent large purchasing decisions means that we really need prospective numbers now.

Oh, and assume that there's already 6 months of income in an emergency fund to hedge against really big misfortunes; I'm mostly talking about planning for that unexpected $100 wedding gift you have to buy, the $200 fender-bender, etc. Both direct advice and examples from experience would be much appreciated. Thanks!

How do I stop obsessing over my finances?

Raze2k — Mon, 04 May 2009 07:47:03 -0800

The closer I get to finishing this debt off, the more it seems to bother me. Help? About four or five years ago I took on a rather sizeable debt that I've nearly paid off a couple of times, only to repeatedly find myself back in a similar situation (though thankfully on a smaller scale). Each time that I've consolidated my debts, I've continued using one or more credit cards and have inevitably fallen into the same traps; one card starts to creep up, so I switch to another thinking it'll be easier to pay off the first if it's got a lower balance, and from there I spiral into disaster. The previous attempt to settle this was dashed as I entered into a relationship that initially brought with it far too many visits to local restaurants and eateries.

Fast forward to today. I've reeled in spending significantly; we cook at home a lot more often, more rarely eat at restaurants (at most once a week, down from four or five), and I brown-bag lunch at work (whereas I'd once upon a time spent anywhere from $15 to 20 at local delis). I drive less frequently, although overall I don't think our quality of life has changed much. I don't often shoot down activities on the basis of their cost; we've adjusted accordingly (she's in a similar financial predicament, though more a result of school loans) and enjoy eachother's company enough that nights at home are well spent and thoroughly enjoyable.

Of my four credit cards, I've paid off two entirely, a third is nearly paid off (under $100) and the fourth carries a large balance (around $5500), most of which is the result of earlier consolidation with 0% APR until October. I'm gainfully employed so paying this off along with my other bills does not seem like an insurmountable task. I've been working on paying off my credit cards one at a time, mostly for morale, but I've noticed that I've been focused far too much on these finances. I keep a running spreadsheet of all of my upcoming payments and bills and have charted this out until mid-August, around which time I think I'll be able to pay off the last credit card and finally return to paying each month in full (or possibly switching entirely over to cash or debit).

In the meantime, this remaining debt vexes me and I check my spreadsheet dozens of times a day, searching for any way which would allow me to pay off the debt sooner. I've resorted to selling various things on craigslist, including my home PC and home audio system (a pretty big deal for a software engineer by trade). Anything to help pay this down sooner. I haven't slept very soundly in months and I can't help but think that's related. Any suggestions on how I might go about stopping this obsession with my finances? I'd love to get the satisfaction of closing the other cards, as if that'd be some kind of silly moral victory, but I've read about the issues with that. So here I am with far too much credit, too much debt, and a calendar telling me I'll still be staring at debt for the next couple of months. The closer I get to finishing this off, the more it seems to bother me. Help?

Wasted money

Brennus — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:59:52 -0800

Why do people say that they don't want to waste money on rent? I keep hearing people say that they don't want to waste money on rent and that's why they buy a house/condo. I have done the calculations myself and after all fees/maintenance/tax advantages etc. buying is always much more expensive than renting (at least in my current area/financial situation). Do these people (in pretty much the same financial situation) know something I don't or do they just repeat something they have heard without anything to base it on? I don't understand how people forget to consider the interest part of mortgage as wasted money, after all, you are never going to see it again.

We need financial advice in San Francisco, for cheap

otherwordlyglow — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:25:50 -0800

Can you recommend a very basic financial adviser in San Francisco? We got married about a year ago, both in our 40s and recently had a child. We'd like to get some advice on basic financial planning, specifically about combining our finances, getting ourselves in order to save for a house, and starting on a path for saving for our daughter's education. From what I've read of other AskMe's, we want a "fee only" adviser and are definitely willing to pay to get some basic counseling/advice. Although we both have investments, they are not extensive and we'd prefer not to use the services offered through those plans since we don't want to be sold new investments or feel like someone is making a commission on us. We just want unbiased advice from a professional. All the searches that I do for someone locally turn up a bunch of names that seem pitched to people with LOTS more money than we have. Some have things like $5,000 initiation fees and/or $500/hour fees. That seems like overkill in our case. Is there a middle ground between the dude from my 403(b) plan and the guy who advises the Getty family?

What lender should I pick for my student loans?

amalgamator — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:36:15 -0800

Which lender should I use for my government student loans? I have previously attended a direct loan school and thus I had to take out my Stafford and GradPLUS loans through the school directly. I am now going to another school that is FFELP school and I can choose my lender. I was given a preferred list from the school. I remember reading that sometimes the preferred list isn't the best deal around. And that you should shop around. However, I've read that it's getting harder and harder to find great borrower benefits such as waiving loan origination fees.

I found a list of the top 100 lenders. Yet #1 on that list is Sallie Mae which is a terrible company?

Have any of you found a lender that you like with good benefits? Anything else I'm missing?

There should be a 4th "R"- The Real World

sixcolors — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:49:56 -0800

Why aren't life skills taught in schools? I guess I'm talking about knowledge and skills that pertain to finances, work life, domestic life, social/dating life, the internet, and the law. And...how the education system works, itself. Pretty much the same categories we have here on AskMe.

Wouldn't life be so much easier for us if we learned those sort of things in school or in college?

I mean when I was in high school there was ONE course that taught such things, but it was really really basic stuff. I am speaking of more comprehensive programs.

I'm trying not to get all philosophical here, I am aiming for more concrete answers...like is it a funding problem or what? Not enough hard science or research behind those areas? Those are my guesses. For those who are familiar with the educational system, what are some more concrete reasons why such programs are rare?

How much extra child support does he need to give?

redhaired_girl — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:32:41 -0800

My new husband has an ex-wife and daughter who live in Colorado. They've been divorced a long time, not exactly on "friendly" terms, but certainly civil, for their daughter's sake. Recently, the kid's grades have been slipping (she's in 8th grade) and Mom decided she needed some tutoring. She signed her up for $10,000 worth of tutoring, without telling my husband in advance, then turned around and demanded half the tuition from him. My husband pays child support, has never been late, even though he's currently unemployed. He told her he couldn't afford $5,000 and even if he could, he doesn't think he should have to pay since she didn't consult him in advance or discuss the matter with him. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this kind of thing. Does he have to pay her?

Small Amount of Income: Taxes?

fantine — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 06:27:12 -0800

Should I file my taxes? Hokay, tax season brings fun questions from confused people -- and I'm no exception.

I am a college student claimed as a dependent by my parents. I have a small part-time job at university and had a summer job last year. My total income was 5,153.70 (adding both jobs).

So I entered my data on turbotax.com since I used it to file (for free!) last year, when I had a comporable amount of income. Now it wants to charge me filing fees of 29.95 for federal and 39.95 per state (my uni is not in my home state).

Is it worth the bother when my income is not that much? The online program estimated that I owed $1 in GA taxes and $8 in NC taxes. It seems like a pain to pay for e-filing when it's such paltry amounts but I don't want to do anything wrong.

I would appreciate any help and guidance. Finances make me a little stressed out, so I'm trying not to panic.