My bf doesn't like it when I walk home from my job alone, at night. I am a woman. It's not that he won't allow me to, he just thinks it's a bad idea and urges me not to or to carry pepper spray if I do. I had been doing this for over a year before I met him, and want to explain to him why these warnings against it (which I get from others as well) are patronizing and annoying. Or maybe I really am being irresponsible? [more inside]
Help me create a mix CD for my wife that celebrates womanhood. [more inside]
My friend does not understand what is wrong with street harassment and I am looking for some resources to direct him towards that may help enlighten him. [more inside]
Looking for a friendly, non-textbook intro to modern thought on gender, sexuality, and feminism for boomers who want to stay up to date but don't know where to start. [more inside]
I'm (23f) seeing someone who is wonderful, except for the fact that he doesn't seem to be aware of his male privilege. A few questions: has anyone stories for me about managing to change this in their own relationships? Ought I to bother to begin with?
My question is primarily about how best to deal with street harassment with the caveat that just ignoring it is not my preferable solution. [more inside]
After getting really into Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover series, I'm looking for similar reading material. Can y'all recommend other sci-fi novels featuring a predominantly female cast?
My 15 year old nephew has been saying some negative comments about women that make me a little concerned. How should I respond to him? Do I mention it to his parents? [more inside]
How would scientific folks go about making women biologically around the same size and strength as men? [more inside]
I realized over time that 3 of the men I've known for years have patriarchal beliefs, even though they've always said feminist things. I sometimes remember sexist remarks they've made and then feel worse about myself. What's worked for you in being able to recognize people like this earlier, before you let them into your inner circle? [more inside]
I'm looking for any studies that examine time use and grooming, for men and women, and what that means for financial outcomes. NOT: Do well-groomed people get paid more?, but the time that women spend maintaining a traditionally "feminine" appearance, over a lifetime, means time NOT spent cultivating X Y and Z lucrative skills. Have you seen any economists studying this? [more inside]
I have been dating guy A. for over four months. Yesterday he got upset/short with me for not offering sufficient comfort to him regarding our friend's feminist blog post. I am furious and very upset by his reaction, how do I approach him later on today? [more inside]
Specifically books about the blossoming of The Self [more inside]
Lately I've been really into the blog Ribbon Around A Bomb, who writes about female-fronted 70s post-punk, Twin Peaks, feminist art, and leather jackets. I also love The Pulp Zine, which is full of teen dreams and high school small town angst, an obsession with Burger Records, 90s nostalgia, black lipstick and pink hair. I'm looking for more blogs that cover punk, garage rock, femme fun, DIY, weirdo fashion, nostalgia, queerness, creativity, feminism, art, and worship of countercultural idols. Basically, I'm a fully-grown scummy punk boyfemme who wants the experience of flipping through a teen magazine tailored to my interests. What other sites would I love? [more inside]
Anecdotally, it seems clear to me that women are far more likely to move to a new city for her husband's job than vice versa. But I'd like some hard numbers! There has to have been research on this, but I have no idea how to find it. [more inside]
A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
Which other productions have taken on the model of The Vagina Monologues - first-person stories about gender, sexuality, and womanhood? (I'm interested in those that share the model but have custom material, not necessarily the script of VMon as performed by specific demographics.) [more inside]
Myself and a group of like-minded ladies are in the throes of creating a feminist hackerspace in DC. We're at the point where we need to name ourselves, and haven't been able to get too far off the ground with brainstorming. [more inside]
In her epic takedown of Katie Roiphe's The Morning After: Sex, Fear, and Feminism on Campus, Kathy Pollitt writes that Roiphe says that she was "'date-raped' many times and none the worse for it." The idea of whether rape must be associated with trauma to be recognized as rape is relevant to a paper I'm writing, and I'd like to refer to her actual quote. What is the quote, and what page is it on?
A question on vocabulary. Why are some Olympic sports listed as "ladies" events, while others are "women's"? Ski jumping is for ladies. Ice Hockey is for women.
I've just had an article published nationally, and oh boy is that addictive and fun! I want to do more, so I need ideas to pitch! I'm looking for some tweeters and some Facebook groups and posters to follow who will have awesome kink/womens'/sex-positive/sex-work/trans/lgbt/poly/etc news, criticism and analysis. Feminist and socialist feeds also a plus. Many thanks, hive mind!
I just allocated some work to a colleague who is a member of a team I manage. He responded by saying that I was just like a tea lady. Then he asked if there were any bribes available to get the work done. Stupidly, I laughed it off and told him he was dreaming if he thought our workplace would run to bribes. Of course, five minutes later I realised that HE CALLED ME - HIS MANAGER - A TEA LADY and now I'm seething at my desk. Do I take him aside and tell him it isn't kosher; OR do I just figure that this is an indication that its time to play hard ball (this isn't the first time he's made comments like this).
I'm looking for recommendations for forums, blogs, Tumblrs, whatever that focus on sex-positive content, specifically spaces that are welcoming to feminist women. [more inside]
I am interested in books, articles, perspectives, etc., to help me understand female power in its various forms. [more inside]
I'd like to get some recommendations on the basics of feminism, especially as it might relate to things a dad can do to help his daughters prepare for and deal with sexism in society and also do his part in understanding the world and making it a better place for women (and by extension all people). [more inside]
I am interested in what hormonal differences exist between men and women and what effect this has on behavior. I don't have the biology background to be able to handle a textbook. This is a contentious area, so I'm only interested in claims or resources that are well referenced - not unsupported pop-sci or ideological claims. My level of detail would be an extended blog post or article, rather than a book
I am interested in gender stereotypes that used to be reversed or are the other way around in another culture. For example, pink used to be considered a vigorous masculine color and blue was a softer color associated with girls. Similarly, high heel used to be worn by men (as riding boots), but were introduced into women's fashion at a time when women were dressing to emulate men
I've personally found that the vast majority of blogs or discussion groups on gender issues (both feminist and MRA) are either too extreme or too ideological. For example, while I am generally opposed to affirmative action (but might consider it allowable in extreme circumstances), I'd love to debate someone who generally supports it, but who is willing to consider the possibility that they may be wrong. Or it would be nice to read an article about the wage gap where the writer isn't trying to either maximise or minimise it, but actually discover what the gap is and what causes there are What are some good moderate and non-ideological resources? Try to keep in mind, that what a non-feminist, non-MRA like me considers moderate is obviously going to be different from what a feminist or MRA considers to be moderate
Lately I've been feeling pretty isolated because none of my friends really share my views on civil rights or social justice. The people I know who are more progressive are really militant and extreme and they're not very helpful to be around either due to their rather harsh approach to their various causes. Where on the internet and in real life can I as a white girl go to be part of a community that is proactive and progressive towards intersectionality, feminism, LGBTQ rights, and similar topics? [more inside]
I have an idea for a costume for our Halloween party that involves my not only dressing in drag but also explicitly calling out the fact that a guy dressing in drag shouldn't be as big a deal as it often is. Seems like a good idea to me - but as a white, cis, straight male I want to be sure I'm aware of any offense I might give to less privileged groups before making a final decision on whether to go through with the costume. [more inside]
What are some good resources on interpersonal communication that I can direct people to that they can read on their own time? [more inside]
I really enjoyed The Second Shift by Arlie Hochshild and Unequal Childhoods by Annette Lareau. What other books will I like? [more inside]
I'm trying to find an old webcomic I read years ago, possibly linked from metafilter. I remember that it was a really text heavy comic (large walls of text in speech bubbles). It made an analogy between committing immoral acts and climbing stairs. You don't just do evil things outright, you bend what is acceptable to you a little bit at a time, like climbing stairs one step at a time. I also think the webcomic overall had a feminist theme.
What are some innovative programs for women and families that you've seen, heard of, accessed, or wished for? I am on the board of directors for a small women's organization in a small city in Canada, and we are tired of the workshop model of community development. I want to start some new programs that have tangible results. [more inside]
Are there any magazines out there like Bitch or Bust, or Ms., but targeted toward the hetero-male gaze? I'm talking about magazines that hold values inherent in third-wave feminism in relation to current events, topics like bypassing heteronormativity, overcoming masculism, fighting homophobia, speaking out against domestic violence, working toward gender equality, supporting reproductive rights, ending rape culture, etc. Zines are also ok. [more inside]
I flashed the biker wave on my ride home tonight, and as I was thinking some warm fuzzy thoughts about the "motorcycling fraternity", I noticed that the other rider was a woman. Is there a word which represents this concept in a gender-inclusive way? If "fraternity" has to do with brothers and "sorority" has to do with sisters, what word has to do with "siblings"? [more inside]
Can you suggest some resources to help convince someone that the propaganda of the Men's Rights movement is slanted and often incorrect? He's been watching GirlWritesWhat and listening to every available podcast on the subject and getting quite angry. I find it hard to talk to him about it (thank you languagehat with coming up with a way to phrase this question!).
Looking for recommended feminist reading as well as personal anecdotes towards helpful dialogue with Mom, and to examine and deal with the crazy, effed up, sexist ideas with which I was raised and may have accepted as normal and true. [more inside]
Looking for television shows I will like as much as Being Erica, Six Feet Under, and the Mindy Project. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
A male friend just posted: "[Insert College Name Here] is a school of feminists who don't know how to be feminists. (Ladies: communicate. Gents: don't be jerks.)" It rubbed me the wrong way. Am I overreacting? If I'm not overreacting, are there resources you would recommend for explaining why statements like these are not the best way to sound like an enlightened feminist? [more inside]
I need more sources for smart, trans-aware intersectional feminism. [more inside]
I'm starting a reading/discussion group on the topic of communities and friendships. What are some good articles/essays/books/websites for us to read? [more inside]
Any advice on how to discuss emotionally loaded social issues without pushing buttons? [more inside]
A friend and I were talking, and she was saying that there aren't any feminist heroes in YA fantasy. I countered with Ursula Le Guin. There must be others, but being a guy who mostly reads male authors I can't think of any others, but they must exist. [more inside]
Help me feel comfortable about not being very ambitious and reasonably happy on the mommy track. [more inside]
Are there other simple-to-express checks like the Bechdel Test for measuring gender bias and feminism in fiction? I try hard to make sure I'm being a decent feminist as a writer -- I'm a guy, I tend to write with male protagonists but with a lot of female characters involved, and I worry about my blind spots. [more inside]
In the 1970s and 80s, when I was a kid, an Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution, barring discrimination on the basis of sex, was passed by Congress and very nearly adopted. How would the United States be different if three more states had ratified the ERA and the Constitution had actually been amended? To make it more precise, what current federal laws or practices would be struck down if the U.S. Constitution included the ERA?
I've got an idea for a community website that is women centric in a very male dominated hobby. I've looked, there really doesn't seem to be a community catering to women in this hobby out there right now, and I'm coming to realize that this really could be a good niche because women involved in the hobby are pretty marginalized. What I could use some advice on is - do I make it woman only, or allow men to participate just promoting to women and keeping some women centric topics? [more inside]
What are your recommendations for feminist friendly, social justice friendly media that portrays human beings outside of conventional stereotypes with positive themes? [more inside]
I am a white gay dude. My goal is to bring myself up to speed on feminism (and important streams in gender and whatnot). What books should I read? What blogs should I be reading? I want to be able to speak more coherently to these issues with an understanding of the history, and of the current theory.