I'm single (straight male, 32) and starting to date women online again. I tend to have much better relationships with feminist-leaning women than with women that believe in traditional gender roles because they match better with my personal feelings about gender. How do I represent this in either my online dating profile or messages without coming across as awkward? I tend to overthink these kind of things. [more inside]
Inspired by the EL thread and the askme on it after following this moving thread about male socialization, what can I do as a parent (specifically a mother) do to help my sons grow up to be happier and healthier feminist men in a toxic patriarchy? What resources and strategies can I add to my parenting toolbox?
Assume I'm not from this planet. What is the appropriate way, if even allowed, to approach a woman at a bar? [more inside]
I recently caught up with an old friend who's developed a lot of horrible opinions about women's presentation and I didn't know how to deal with it, please advise! [more inside]
Hey Brilliant Minds! Happy Monday :) I'm wondering if you might point me in the direction of any films, books, tv, plays, etc. that utilize a classic hero's journey structure (Joseph Campbell) from a feminist perspective and/or have a female protagonist. Thanks so much!
What are some great movies from the 80's and 90's that were either directed by or written by women? [more inside]
What would a culture that doesn't hate women look like? I'm looking for books, movies, works of fiction and non-fiction in various formats/media, and your own musings and imaginings. [more inside]
What would a Social Justice Warrior put on her shield? (Also, the rest of her?) [more inside]
Who are some actually-radical feminists and what (and where) are they writing these days? [more inside]
A friend has been given an opening by a leader in a large, conservative organization to help him understand women's experiences of sexism in the workplace. Is there a book or article by a woman talking about her experiences you would recommend? [more inside]
Does anyone remember a recent post (possibly on a Tumblr) describing a satirical, feminist-alternate-universe history of video games? [more inside]
Help me find blogs/books/articles that will make me feel better about being an outspoken lady. [more inside]
As a gay man, I've been having increasing problems with sexual harassment from complete strangers while out at gay bars. When this harassment happens in front of friends, I'm treated like I'm crazy for being upset. What are some clear and direct ways I can communicate my own discomfort and just how inappropriate what happened was - to people who are completely ignorant of feminism and women's issues and have bought into the toxic idea that we should be grateful for any attention we get? [more inside]
I'm writing about feminism and gaming on the internet. I'm a woman. I know that if I gain any reasonable amount of success, it'll probably come with death threats and hacking attempts and doxxing and the like. What should I do now, while very few people are reading me, to protect myself? [more inside]
I want to read/learn/discover more about make-up as part of the fashion industry, as a feminist act, as a weapon of patriarchy, personal stories of make-up - not the how to do it or what to buy, but the whys of make-up. Tumblrs, videos, articles, books - where are people interrogating and discussing and celebrating make-up? I'm mostly interested in the feminist take, but I'm also interested in other aspects, and from commercial make-up to theatrical fantasy stuff.
I'm a woman in science. I recently finished my Ph.D in Chemistry, and, after getting burnt-out on the academic track, I've gotten a job in a small startup synthesizing new materials for energy purposes. I've been told to find a "female mentor" to help me navigate the startup/industry world of chemistry. But how do I find a female mentor? Where do I look? What do I look for? [more inside]
I am a woman whose experience in technology is eerily similar to that of the women in these two articles. I am at a breaking point. But rather than leave the field, I would like to shift employment so that I'm working at exclusively women-led or women-run companies. Can anyone provide some ideas for potential places to apply for full-time employment? [more inside]
My 15-year-old nephew has become interested in social movements, and as teenagers do, he's positioned himself against a few. I want him to have some facts that he can understand. Is there a book about feminism written specifically for boys? One that includes history plus arguments, both pro and con?
I'm a visual artist, and recently I've been feeling the urge to photograph nudes, male and female. Whilst I don't have any issues with male nudes, I seem to be getting hung up on past experiences when it comes to the female nudes. Help me understand what is due to the past and what is actually a genuine problem with what it is that I want to do (details inside). [more inside]
Can you help me find pieces of medical terminology named after women, or female medical eponyms? I'm talking about anatomical structures, diseases, conditions, collections of symptoms - hell, even proteins or genes would work! Wikipedia has a list of human anatomical parts named after people, but none of the people listed appear to be female. [more inside]
Not too heavy but not too light [more inside]
My bf doesn't like it when I walk home from my job alone, at night. I am a woman. It's not that he won't allow me to, he just thinks it's a bad idea and urges me not to or to carry pepper spray if I do. I had been doing this for over a year before I met him, and want to explain to him why these warnings against it (which I get from others as well) are patronizing and annoying. Or maybe I really am being irresponsible? [more inside]
Help me create a mix CD for my wife that celebrates womanhood. [more inside]
My friend does not understand what is wrong with street harassment and I am looking for some resources to direct him towards that may help enlighten him. [more inside]
Looking for a friendly, non-textbook intro to modern thought on gender, sexuality, and feminism for boomers who want to stay up to date but don't know where to start. [more inside]
I'm (23f) seeing someone who is wonderful, except for the fact that he doesn't seem to be aware of his male privilege. A few questions: has anyone stories for me about managing to change this in their own relationships? Ought I to bother to begin with?
My question is primarily about how best to deal with street harassment with the caveat that just ignoring it is not my preferable solution. [more inside]
After getting really into Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover series, I'm looking for similar reading material. Can y'all recommend other sci-fi novels featuring a predominantly female cast?
My 15 year old nephew has been saying some negative comments about women that make me a little concerned. How should I respond to him? Do I mention it to his parents? [more inside]
How would scientific folks go about making women biologically around the same size and strength as men? [more inside]
I realized over time that 3 of the men I've known for years have patriarchal beliefs, even though they've always said feminist things. I sometimes remember sexist remarks they've made and then feel worse about myself. What's worked for you in being able to recognize people like this earlier, before you let them into your inner circle? [more inside]
I'm looking for any studies that examine time use and grooming, for men and women, and what that means for financial outcomes. NOT: Do well-groomed people get paid more?, but the time that women spend maintaining a traditionally "feminine" appearance, over a lifetime, means time NOT spent cultivating X Y and Z lucrative skills. Have you seen any economists studying this? [more inside]
I have been dating guy A. for over four months. Yesterday he got upset/short with me for not offering sufficient comfort to him regarding our friend's feminist blog post. I am furious and very upset by his reaction, how do I approach him later on today? [more inside]
Specifically books about the blossoming of The Self [more inside]
Lately I've been really into the blog Ribbon Around A Bomb, who writes about female-fronted 70s post-punk, Twin Peaks, feminist art, and leather jackets. I also love The Pulp Zine, which is full of teen dreams and high school small town angst, an obsession with Burger Records, 90s nostalgia, black lipstick and pink hair. I'm looking for more blogs that cover punk, garage rock, femme fun, DIY, weirdo fashion, nostalgia, queerness, creativity, feminism, art, and worship of countercultural idols. Basically, I'm a fully-grown scummy punk boyfemme who wants the experience of flipping through a teen magazine tailored to my interests. What other sites would I love? [more inside]
Anecdotally, it seems clear to me that women are far more likely to move to a new city for her husband's job than vice versa. But I'd like some hard numbers! There has to have been research on this, but I have no idea how to find it. [more inside]
A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
Which other productions have taken on the model of The Vagina Monologues - first-person stories about gender, sexuality, and womanhood? (I'm interested in those that share the model but have custom material, not necessarily the script of VMon as performed by specific demographics.) [more inside]
Myself and a group of like-minded ladies are in the throes of creating a feminist hackerspace in DC. We're at the point where we need to name ourselves, and haven't been able to get too far off the ground with brainstorming. [more inside]
In her epic takedown of Katie Roiphe's The Morning After: Sex, Fear, and Feminism on Campus, Kathy Pollitt writes that Roiphe says that she was "'date-raped' many times and none the worse for it." The idea of whether rape must be associated with trauma to be recognized as rape is relevant to a paper I'm writing, and I'd like to refer to her actual quote. What is the quote, and what page is it on?
A question on vocabulary. Why are some Olympic sports listed as "ladies" events, while others are "women's"? Ski jumping is for ladies. Ice Hockey is for women.
I've just had an article published nationally, and oh boy is that addictive and fun! I want to do more, so I need ideas to pitch! I'm looking for some tweeters and some Facebook groups and posters to follow who will have awesome kink/womens'/sex-positive/sex-work/trans/lgbt/poly/etc news, criticism and analysis. Feminist and socialist feeds also a plus. Many thanks, hive mind!
I just allocated some work to a colleague who is a member of a team I manage. He responded by saying that I was just like a tea lady. Then he asked if there were any bribes available to get the work done. Stupidly, I laughed it off and told him he was dreaming if he thought our workplace would run to bribes. Of course, five minutes later I realised that HE CALLED ME - HIS MANAGER - A TEA LADY and now I'm seething at my desk. Do I take him aside and tell him it isn't kosher; OR do I just figure that this is an indication that its time to play hard ball (this isn't the first time he's made comments like this).
I'm looking for recommendations for forums, blogs, Tumblrs, whatever that focus on sex-positive content, specifically spaces that are welcoming to feminist women. [more inside]
I am interested in books, articles, perspectives, etc., to help me understand female power in its various forms. [more inside]
I'd like to get some recommendations on the basics of feminism, especially as it might relate to things a dad can do to help his daughters prepare for and deal with sexism in society and also do his part in understanding the world and making it a better place for women (and by extension all people). [more inside]
I am interested in what hormonal differences exist between men and women and what effect this has on behavior. I don't have the biology background to be able to handle a textbook. This is a contentious area, so I'm only interested in claims or resources that are well referenced - not unsupported pop-sci or ideological claims. My level of detail would be an extended blog post or article, rather than a book
I am interested in gender stereotypes that used to be reversed or are the other way around in another culture. For example, pink used to be considered a vigorous masculine color and blue was a softer color associated with girls. Similarly, high heel used to be worn by men (as riding boots), but were introduced into women's fashion at a time when women were dressing to emulate men
I've personally found that the vast majority of blogs or discussion groups on gender issues (both feminist and MRA) are either too extreme or too ideological. For example, while I am generally opposed to affirmative action (but might consider it allowable in extreme circumstances), I'd love to debate someone who generally supports it, but who is willing to consider the possibility that they may be wrong. Or it would be nice to read an article about the wage gap where the writer isn't trying to either maximise or minimise it, but actually discover what the gap is and what causes there are What are some good moderate and non-ideological resources? Try to keep in mind, that what a non-feminist, non-MRA like me considers moderate is obviously going to be different from what a feminist or MRA considers to be moderate
Lately I've been feeling pretty isolated because none of my friends really share my views on civil rights or social justice. The people I know who are more progressive are really militant and extreme and they're not very helpful to be around either due to their rather harsh approach to their various causes. Where on the internet and in real life can I as a white girl go to be part of a community that is proactive and progressive towards intersectionality, feminism, LGBTQ rights, and similar topics? [more inside]