344 posts tagged with fear.
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Really need help soothing my daughter's fears

So someone told my six-year-old daughter that bad people take little kids and kill them. I wish I could say it's not true. It's just so unlikely. But kids don't understand probability. What can I say to put her mind at ease? She's been scared to be away from me (like, in another room even) for three weeks now and I just found out that this is what has been bothering her. [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Oct 7, 2016 - 26 answers

Mother and her terrifying driving

To put it bluntly my mother's driving is terrifying and sometimes dangerous. To put in context she is 70 next year and its getting worse. She speeds, drives too close to other cars, lacks concentration and acts as though she owns the road. How can my sister and I tell her things need to change and she either needs a refresher driving course or to not drive at all? We have tried telling her that her driving is scary. (Snowflakes follow) [more inside]
posted by Mrs T on Oct 3, 2016 - 19 answers

Peace, happiness and motivation in 25* words or less

I have some useful mental scripts that help me deal with irregular brain chemistry and other maladies. Things like saying "surf the emotion", or "it's just a thought. It's not reality" and "is this behaviour / thinking pattern helpful?" or "if you feel crap, clean the bathroom. You'll still feel like crap, but at least the bathroom will be clean." Give me more. [more inside]
posted by b33j on Sep 3, 2016 - 71 answers

I guess this problem won't fix itself, and it's time to face that.

My sweet, strong, beloved Momma has become a high-functioning alcoholic in the last few years. All the literature I can find on talking to an alcoholic start with "tired of begging, pleading and fighting with your loved one about their drinking?" Well, no, I'm not, because no one has ever even MENTIONED it to my mother. Where do I/we start? I'm scared. [more inside]
posted by euphoria066 on Aug 16, 2016 - 19 answers

Relationship anxiety-- Unable to express my true feelings to my friend

I know it;s normal to be nervous, but my level of anxiety is too much and I need help [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 20, 2016 - 10 answers

A wet blanket on dry land

Is it realistic for an adult to learn to swim in deep water safely enough for recreation? Will I always be more likely to drown in open water? Every summer the news is full of stories of weak swimmers dying in boating accidents and while I'd like to enjoy the water, I don't want to be another statistic. Is it worth the risk to try and learn? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2016 - 30 answers

When are the robots going to take my job?

So it occurs to me that my entire household is supported by two jobs vulnerable to automation. How long do we have, in your opinion? What steps can we take to make sure we don't end up begging in the street? [more inside]
posted by Frowner on Apr 26, 2016 - 43 answers

Catastrophizing about what could be a catastrophe

The next week is going to be a rough one for me. My father is going in for cancer tests this week. He'll be seeing a oncologist on Friday before getting a biopsy for what could possibly be lung cancer on Tuesday. He clearly hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet (so who knows, it could be nothing, I guess), but I have been a wreck since Monday. I cannot stop imagining the worst case scenario. I am so afraid of my father being seriously ill and dying and these thoughts are just consuming me. I am completely petrified. How can I cope with this uncertainty? And if the news is bad, can I even survive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2016 - 24 answers

Are people really being mean to me? Or is this just in my head?

Lately I've not been wanting to deal with humans due to experiencing one too many situations lately where strangers I've had to deal with—in most cases cashiers—have talked to me like I'm some kind of laughing stock schmuck. I often tell myself that I don't care what people think of me, but when a string of people have seemingly mocked me in a very short amount of time, it really can do much to make me start thinking that, hey, maybe I am a shmuck after all. And the main reason it bothers me is because, well, I wouldn't mind making friends. And I worry that with so many people thinking I suck that this will prove to be difficult. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2016 - 27 answers

Cycle commuters of Mefi: how did you get confident on the roads?

After 20-ish years of not cycling, I recently bought a bike for getting to work. It's a nice route - about two-thirds of the way is off the roads on dedicated cycle paths, and most of the rest is on quiet streets. But I cycled to work and back yesterday, and the roads just TERRIFY me. [more inside]
posted by Catseye on Feb 11, 2016 - 22 answers

Fear of pregnancy

I'm interested in hearing from women who had (or have?) an intense terror of pregnancy and childbirth, but decided to get pregnant anyway. How did you cope with this fear? [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jan 14, 2016 - 16 answers

Scared for my puppy, please help!

My beloved puppy (male, uncut, 9 months) is growling and being aggressive. We received a call from our apartment manager that there had been a complaint. I am terrified that this will happen again and they will try to evict us, or report him as a dangerous dog and try to kill him. Please help either with strategies or anxiety management or sanity check. I love him and am desperate. [more inside]
posted by corb on Jan 5, 2016 - 68 answers

Fear of Antidepressants

Yesterday a dear friend had a come to Jesus talk with me and encouraged me to make an appointment with my doctor about going on an antidepressant. I have been advised to go on antidepressants in the past by therapists and other doctors, but have never taken the next steps because my family views being on medication as a personal failure/huge dangerous risk. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Dec 30, 2015 - 66 answers

How do I Progress A Relationship With A Fear Of Loss?

I have recently started a relationship with a wonderful person but I realise now that I'm stifling its progress due to a fear of loss and I'd like some advice on how to stop doing this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2015 - 15 answers

Fear of loneliness *and* fear of dating

I'm terrified of loneliness and terrified of dating. Needless to say, I'm wound up most of the time. What can I do about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 7 answers

Why are dogs so extra afraid of thunder?

This is really a multiple-part, branching question. 1. Are wolves that afraid of thunder? 2. If they aren't, why are dogs? (Subquestion: Did we have something to do with it?) 3. If they are, why haven't they evolved out of it? And it goes on from there. Cats in my experience don't freak out nearly as much. I don't know about things like elephants or hyenas, who also must face grave threat from lightning. There doesn't seem to be a shred of anything worth reading about this anywhere.
posted by Camofrog on Nov 14, 2015 - 15 answers

My adorable puppy is suddenly fearful-aggressive. Help!

Difficulty level: boy German shepherd puppy is not supposed to be neutered yet, owner with PTSD, trainer is suddenly using some maybe dubious tactics, and we have been dealing with aggressive off leash dogs. Beloved dog is now barking and lunging against some other dogs and people, especially in territorial environments. [more inside]
posted by corb on Oct 29, 2015 - 11 answers

Doing what I care about will mean seeing my ex, and that terrifies me.

When relationships end, it’s often said the thing you do is recommit to the things you really care about. I can’t retreat to what I care about. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 22, 2015 - 9 answers

Learning to trust the vasectomy

I'm very pro-coitus but very anti-pregnancy, so my super fantastic husband got a vasectomy (YAY!). Today got his three month post-op all clear. Also yay! So, uh, why am I still scared to go off the pill? [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Sep 30, 2015 - 27 answers

Looking for scary images, ideas, and scenarios.

As an aspiring horror writer, I am constantly in search of inspiration for images and scenarios that terrify. Help me out? [more inside]
posted by Fenriss on Sep 10, 2015 - 12 answers

Fear in opening myself to a good man in a good relationship?

I have been with my boyfriend for not even two months but he is already so in love and so infatuated and I wonder why I am looking at things so much differently. He has not dated many people and I have, lots who have hurt me and some the other way around. I am finding myself scared to love him back fully and wonder why I am not quite as infatuated though I feel I do love him in return? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Aug 4, 2015 - 18 answers

How can I feel comfortable with my psychiatrist again?

My psychiatrist lost his temper with me on the phone yesterday and said a lot of hurtful things. I must have deserved them, but I feel terrible. I have an appointment with him tomorrow (7/2) at 8am EST I need help figuring out how to keep my cool and understand how to be both a better patient and a better person. I apologize in advance for how incredibly long this is, and thanks in advance for those of you who read it. [more inside]
posted by timory on Jul 1, 2015 - 55 answers

Dog nail trimming options: EXTREME edition

So. Our dog will not let anyone trim her nails. The groomer can't do it, the vet can't do it, and we can't do it. Her reaction is so extreme that she's seriously a danger to herself, and as a result, she only has her nails clipped when she's under sedation for something else (teeth cleaning, for one). Looking at this older Ask Me post, I'm considering trying a Dremel, once we've talked to the Vet (time for another dental cleaning). Is there anything newer, or further advice that fearful-dog owners can add? [more inside]
posted by taz on Jun 26, 2015 - 28 answers

Child anxiety

Dear hive mind, I'm a 48 year old father of a 5 year old daughter. My life is pretty okay, in terms of marriage, health, work. But I cannot seem to enjoy all the good things (of which there are plenty) out of anxiousness that my child will maybe not have a great life. [more inside]
posted by hz37 on May 30, 2015 - 19 answers

How do I stop worrying about my loved ones getting hurt?

I can't stop envisioning scenarios in which people I care about get into horrific car/train/plane accidents or get sick and die. How do I accept my powerlessness to protect my loved ones 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt and just live with it? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 13, 2015 - 12 answers

Please Help Me Fail.

I need to screw up a couple of times. Once I do, I'll realize it's not the end of the world, and I will be able to stop keeping everything on hold. But I've been on hold for most of my life, paralyzed and afraid to move for fear of not getting it perfectly right. How do I bring myself to put forth the effort to do the scary thing, even knowing that that's the only way I can make it stop being scary? [more inside]
posted by Because on May 11, 2015 - 28 answers

How to cope with my terror of uncertainty in my mid-20s

How do I enjoy and make the most of my life, when it is so full of uncertainty? What are some strategies for tolerating and living with uncertainty, rather than being afraid of and fighting it? Details/specific situation inside [more inside]
posted by armadillo1224 on May 6, 2015 - 25 answers

Help me get over this sudden fear of doing something really dumb.

I work in broadcasting. Lately, I have the awful feeling that I'm about to inadvertently say something that will get me fired. Can you help me work through this, and chase these thoughts away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2015 - 11 answers

How can I stay safe in Fruitvale?

Is Fruitvale BART as bad as people keep telling me? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Apr 14, 2015 - 35 answers

Spring is here! So are the frogs. Help me!

I have a completely irrational but very persistent fear of frogs. Has anyone else experienced this fear and overcome it? What worked for you? [more inside]
posted by RingerChopChop on Mar 28, 2015 - 8 answers

Help me love

Guys, I’ve gotten off track. I’ve lost my way. And I’m worried that I won’t get to be in love again because it scares me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2015 - 7 answers

Help me decide whether to reproduce or not.

My wife and I are trying to make up our minds about having children. We're between 30 and 35 years old, well-off, living a comfortable life and with good familial support networks. She's off hormonal contraception as of recently through a mutual decision, but nothing's set in stone yet. We're both anxious and uncertain and trying to deal with it, together as well as separately. Personally, I now feel like I have a loaded gun between my legs. People who were in my situation and made a choice one way or the other, or you who are in my situation now, I'd appreciate your input. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2015 - 135 answers

My dog is afraid to get in the car...

My dog (seven year old heeler/aussie shepherd mix) is afraid to get in the car. She's a shelter dog who came with some nervous issues (other fears include bathrooms, abandonment, and strange men, especially with hats or beards), but she has made amazing progress over the last year or so... except when it comes to getting in the car! She'll sit outside the open door and tremble, roll over in abject surrender, etc. How can I help her? [more inside]
posted by grey_sw on Jan 13, 2015 - 19 answers

shit just got real, and I am shit scared.

Last night I felt hopeful. Tonight I am scared. I started a new job on Monday and I am so scared that I am going to screw it up, and I can't afford to screw it up, and I am scared. At the same time I am scared of what it will mean for my life if I just go balls-to-the-wall and kick ass at this job. I am paralyzed with fear. Please help me. [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Jan 1, 2015 - 25 answers

Am I looking a gifthorse in the mouth?

I found the greatest guy when I wasn't even looking. But I'm not too long out of a relationship (10 months) where I think I really loved him (despite current man looking so much better on paper), intimacy is taking a while to grow and I just feel a bit wary and not sure I'm into him some of the time. It's been 3/4 months of dating but I'd now say we're firmly headed to relationship territory. But I don't want to stay and waste this person's time if he's not the one for me. I also don't want to throw away something which could be really special, and this person is special, but maybe I know that on paper but don't really appreciate it which doesn't seem like a good start to a relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Dec 14, 2014 - 9 answers

How can I let people know I'm claustrophobic?

People throw around the term claustrophobic to describe tight or otherwise uncomfortable spaces. I actually am claustrophobic, to the point where I'll have panic attacks or come close to blacking out. How can I make this clear to people like my landlord who do not understand the severity of the problem? Would a diagnosis help? [more inside]
posted by quiet earth on Dec 12, 2014 - 32 answers

Tips to Minimize Stress at the Doctor

I haven't been to the doctor in a long, long time. I am experiencing a rapid heartbeat and am making an appointment. I am pretty convinced I'm dying, and am sitting here crying while looking up doctors online. How can I make this process as painless as possible? [more inside]
posted by masquesoporfavor on Dec 9, 2014 - 22 answers

How can I proactively prevent anxiety from limiting me in life?

Anxiety runs in my family. I'm watching how much it affects my mom and I want to keep on challenging myself to take risks so that I never get so afraid that it limits me from doing stuff and enjoying life. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by ArgyleMarionette on Dec 8, 2014 - 17 answers

Normal or cause for worry?

4-year-old suddenly having accidents at school, fearful, should I worry? [more inside]
posted by rabbitrabbit on Nov 19, 2014 - 19 answers

Company in turmoil; how to talk myself down off the panic ledge?

My company is undergoing the first steps into being sold. How do I stop panicking long enough to figure out my next steps? [more inside]
posted by droplet on Oct 15, 2014 - 7 answers

I want to get rid of my irrational dog racism. How?!

I admit it, I am afraid of many large dogs. Mostly, this includes boxers, rotties and pit bulls, sometimes even great danes if they're loose in yard. What can I do to alleviate this? Dogs can tell that I am afraid, I know. I feel adrenaline shoot through me when I encounter people with these dogs or dogs in a yard. I suspect that my fear is socially conditioned, and I feel bad about being a "dog racist." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I manage my dream project when I'm sad and anxious?

I am faced with a hugely exciting, complex, challenging project of my own devising. It's a chance for me to build my dream and ... I'm sitting here crying instead of working. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 6 answers

How to succeed in business without ever flying

What categories of (or what specific) jobs and/or career paths in large corporations are least likely to require travel with turnaround and/or distance that necessitates flying? What types of industries (while otherwise thriving) seem to be paring down their travel budgets and relying more on videoconferencing and similar tech? What about government jobs? Are you a highly successful ........ and don't, or at least have never been required to, fly for work? I would love to know about your job. [more inside]
posted by notquitemaryann on Sep 11, 2014 - 27 answers

Relationship plagued by fear/anxiety or is it just bad fit?

How is it possible to feel anxious and questioning most of the time, but also feel genuine moments of excitement to see him and genuine calm/happiness to be in his presence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2014 - 29 answers

Can you help me set my friend's mind at ease about ebola?

My friend, who lives in a very safe place in the United States, is unusually scared about ebola. More than really makes any sense. Ebola has appeared sporadically every several years since it was discovered in the 70s. Most years, there are zero cases worldwide. Is it right to say that the current outbreak is likely to be another case of ebola flaring up and then disappearing? [more inside]
posted by Sleeper on Sep 6, 2014 - 14 answers

My chest pain is freaking me out

I had pneumonia about four years ago in my left lung. Now it's bothering me again in the same spot, but I really don't think it's pneumonia this time. Help me relax until I can get in to see my doctor. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Sep 3, 2014 - 17 answers

Talk Me Down From Terror Over a Routine Surgery, Please

Thanks to marinating myself in others’ bad outcomes, I’m terrified of my gallbladder removal this Monday, a surgery that happens 700,000 times a year. I could use a ton of positive-outcome, no-problem, no-side-effect stories, and/or any good sensible cognitive talk on not letting people’s health forum posts terrify you. [more inside]
posted by WCityMike on Jul 22, 2014 - 52 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Suggestions for "milder" horror movies?

After being a wimp my whole life and doing everything I could to avoid scary movies, I'd like to now slowly build up my tolerance to be able to handle them to some degree. What I really dread about them is the feeling I get afterwards of someone or something being hidden anytime I'm in the dark and coming to get me, and that's caused me to avoid watching movies with friends and miss a lot of great fiction. What are some suggestions of "easier" scary movies that I can use as a stepping stone before I start watching the really scary stuff? Books and other types of media are also welcome.
posted by PlasticSupernova on Jun 29, 2014 - 32 answers

New, unreasonable anxiety

I've recently started to experience unreasonable anxiety about a lot of everyday activities. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2014 - 11 answers

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