My relationship with my emotionally abusive, BPD father has been strained lately; now, after realizing the extent to which his actions was causing me undue stress, I have cut off contact with him completely. But not having a father figure in my life is causing me stress as well. How do I deal with the pain of cutting my father out of my life? [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123 on Nov 5, 2012 - 12 answers

I'm a well-adjusted person plagued now by anger and disappointment re: her absentee father. Should I pursue therapy, or go about this a different route? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2010 - 17 answers

Should I invite my estranged father to my wedding? [more inside]
posted by gauche on Dec 18, 2009 - 27 answers

I was raised by an abusive father. Now in my early 30's I am looking ahead to the future when I may become a father. I am determined not to recreate the family environment I grew up in but know how these things sometimes turn out -- that people determined not to recreate something sometimes wind up doing so in an unforseen manner. I was in therapy for 2 years in my 20's to work on the issues but therapy is not an option now because of money. I have worked hard not to be my father, but part of me is afraid that I will wind up being like him as a parent. (In particular, I worry about being a father to a son because of my history). I am looking for information about the father-son relationship as well as information about how to be a good parent when you have a background like mine. Please offer advice, books, suggestions - anything that can help.
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2005 - 16 answers