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156 posts tagged with father.
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Is there a loving but persuasive way to tell dad he's a bigot?

My father is, and always has been, a loving, decent, supportive, honorable person. He's also always been crotchety, unworldly, domineering, and set in his ways. Is there a way to encourage him--without preaching and without being strident--to reflect on the ways his attitudes sometimes cross the border from "Sh*t My Dad Says" into less defensibly hateful/ignorant territory? [more inside]
posted by urufu on Nov 26, 2014 - 29 answers

Fun games, apps, ideas to keep my relationship with my dad vibrant.

Me and my dad don't really like to talk on the phone much or communicate extensively via email. I'm about to give him an iPhone and I was wondering if you can suggest a way to use the phone to keep in touch in a fun and fresh way. [more inside]
posted by Captain Chesapeake on Oct 16, 2014 - 8 answers

I'm just so angry I don't even know where to begin.

My father put the family dog to sleep on Sunday and then kept it a secret from me (and other family members) for two days for a really stupid reason, then told me about it last night in a completely off-handed "by the way" text message. I am extremely angry and hurt. How do I process this information and deal with him going forward? What is the best way to grieve for the loss of my dog in this light? Wall of text below (sorry). [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Oct 15, 2014 - 66 answers

How does a person change his relationship with toxic parents?

I don't want to be around my parents, but my guilt keeps me in contact with them. How can I get to a place where I don't feel bad about not interacting with them unless it's on my terms? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Sep 24, 2014 - 19 answers

Should I contact my biological father?

We've been completely out of touch since I was about twelve. I have a kick-ass step dad, so no old resentments or difficult questions in regard to my biological father, I'm mostly just curious about his life. He has recently turned 70 and I feel like if I decide to get back in touch, I should do it sooner rather than later. But should I? And if yes, how to best approach this? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 6 answers

Separation without moving out?

Can you have a trial separation while still both living in the same house? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Sep 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Setting parental boundaries

My father and I have a complicated history that colors our present relationship. Help me figure out how to set compassionate boundaries. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 19, 2014 - 11 answers

Where in New England can I take my dad camping to see the Perseids?

When I was very young, my dad took me camping to see the Perseid meteors; it was one of the defining experiences of my life. Now I am grown and he is nearly old, and I would like to turn it around. Help me find a suitable mountaintop in New England to go camping with my dad; somewhere where we won't have to see anyone else. Details within. [more inside]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The on Jul 29, 2014 - 12 answers

Duets to sing with my father

My father's been quite ill and we've been looking for ways to keep his mind off the discomfort he's in. He generally doesnt sing very much but sings marvelously when he does, so today we started singing together—he, I, my brother on the guitar, and my mum humming along tentatively :). It was lovely; we all enjoyed it, and we'd like to do it more. I'm looking for duet suggestions—more details inside. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Jun 15, 2014 - 11 answers

How can a child make their parent feel bad about their parenting?

Friends told me the reason I'm emotionally unstable is probably mainly because of how I grew up and I needed to reconcile with my dad. [more inside]
posted by pelu on May 21, 2014 - 54 answers

My dad has terminal lung disease. Please help me come to terms with it.

I just found out my dad has pulmonary fibrosis. He and I are both too young to deal with this. Help? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 24, 2014 - 26 answers

BookFilter: Apocalypse novels for children

Back in 1987 or so, I read a children's/YA book that begins with a young girl who survives an end-of-the-world event (nuclear? meteor?) alone with her father and brother in a huge nuclear bunker. The second half of the book is about a girl with the same name who is a descendant of the survivors. Can you help me figure out what this book was? [more inside]
posted by mochapickle on Apr 14, 2014 - 7 answers

Fun activities for a house bound dad?

My poor dad is recovering from an accident, and is stuck in the house during this crazy winter. What are some fun activities to keep him busy while we wait for the snow to melt? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Feb 26, 2014 - 15 answers

Advice on Adopting a Father

I want to adopt a dad (see extended explanation on why). I'm thinking maybe even a nice gay male couple, a two for one deal! This does not need to be a formal adoption - I have plenty of "parents" (2 moms) - I'm just looking for someone who doesn't have any children (hence thinking about an older gay couple) who might want to "adopt" a kid because they've got some extra love lying around (and maybe some really adorable dogs) and I don't have a relationship with my dad. I would like some advice. 1) Where should I look? 2) What are things I need to consider? 3) How would you go about doing this? 4) Any other thoughts or observations? I'm just sort of tossing this idea around and thinking I'd get some data points from you all. [more inside]
posted by Jericha on Feb 14, 2014 - 35 answers

Holy Fatherhood, Batmam!

Help me find examples of father-child relationships in the Bible. [more inside]
posted by man down under on Jan 27, 2014 - 11 answers

How to stop my father's rages (or at least their effect on me)?

Throughout my life, my father has had anger issues, typically directed at me. Although he isn't violent, he will become extremely (almost uncontrollably) angry whenever I do anything 'wrong'. Now that I'm an adult and no longer financially dependent on him, I want to stop this cycle. However, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2013 - 63 answers

Stranger in a Strange Land

I'm considering confronting my father with the threat of estrangement. What should I know before initiating this kind of "break" with family? (Snowflakes abound, but general guidance helps too!) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2013 - 20 answers

Yeah, you're ill, but you're still being a nightmare...

I posted this question back in May, about my father's strange (and awful) behaviour that seems to be driven by some kind of illness. Things have not improved. Part of me says, "you should be there for him, it's your dad and he's obviously ill"; another part says "he's behaving like a monster, cut him out of your life." How do I determine which part to listen to? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Nov 11, 2013 - 19 answers

Should I fight to get my dad into a better rehab center?

My father was in an accident two weeks ago, involving some broken bones and head trauma. He was released from the hospital yesterday to a rehab center that is awful. I’m having major difficulty getting him into a better one. What do you suggest? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Nov 7, 2013 - 9 answers

Projects/Activities for 3-year-olds

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to spend more time with my 3.5-year-old boy/girl twins, and looking for some structured activities/things to do to help drive it and get them excited, as they generally prefer my wife over me... [more inside]
posted by um_maverick on Oct 28, 2013 - 30 answers

My son's biological father has friended me on Facebook. What next?

My 8 year old son has never met his biological father and would like to do so. I don't want his heart to break if his bio-father doesn't want contact. I'm only assuming that he doesn't want contact because apart from the befriending we haven't actually said anything to each other via voice or email for about 6 years or so. What is the best way to approach this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2013 - 23 answers

How can I make my mother see she needs to see a psychologist?

Hi all, I don't live at home anymore, as I studied abroad, but frequently come home during holidays. During such return visit, and the ocassional visit by my family, I always get a good taste of my mother's uglier side. I dont want to diagnose her myself, but can say that her bipolar and control freakish behaviour is affecting the whole family (my father and brother) for as long as I can remember. I would dare to even describe it as abusive; minor problems like a dirty plate forgotten on a kitchen counter can escalate into agressive full blown shout out, and in general there were moments where I really had to remind myself that, whoa, this is my mother. [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Aug 31, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I Sign an Informal Child Custody Agreement?

My ex-spouse and I share custody of our son. He is now in kindergarten five days a week, necessitating some adjustments to his weekly schedule. We have come to a basic agreement, and my spouse wants me to sign this agreement. Even though we are principally on the same page, it feels a bit weird. Should I do it?
posted by toots on Aug 27, 2013 - 34 answers

father daughter exposure limits

Is it necessary for a father or step father to completely avoid exposure of private parts (penis) to a 5 year old daughter? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 1, 2013 - 43 answers

Wedding gift for older marrying couple?

What's a good generic wedding gift for two older people? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by bondcliff on May 30, 2013 - 19 answers

How can my family bar my bipolar father from access to credit?

My bipolar father will go on crazy consumer debt fueled sprees of spending / gambling. What can we do on a severely limited budget to ensure he doesn't end up homeless or otherwise in major trouble? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2013 - 10 answers

Depressed father, mother miserable too - what can we adult children do?

My dad, in his 60s, seems to be depressed. He is deeply unhappy and anxious, and he's also become angry and bitter to the point of a total personality change, mostly with my mum. She is miserable, and me and my siblings are so worried about both of them, especially because Dad refuses to get any help or even have a conversation about this. What, if anything, can we do here? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on May 18, 2013 - 12 answers

I can't dance to that!!!

Please recommend me a good song for the father-daughter dance at the wedding!!! [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad on Apr 27, 2013 - 31 answers

How much touch is appropriate between father and 6/7 year old daughter?

My wife and I disagree strongly over how much touch is appropriate between myself and my almost-7 year old daughter. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2013 - 98 answers

Non-fiction books about relationships between father and a new child

I'm going to be a proud first-time papa in a couple months, and I'm gearing up for the madness and joy to come. I've really enjoyed reading non-fiction anecdotes about fathers and children, and I was wondering if you had any books you might recommend? Hopefully nothing 'Chicken Soup for the ____'-ish, but more along the New Yorker-y lines of Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik and Home Game by Michael Lewis. [more inside]
posted by evadery on Mar 12, 2013 - 16 answers

A Hand Grenade Thrown into a Marriage?

Asking for a specifically male perspective here: what do you wish you'd known before having kids that would have made your relationship better? [more inside]
posted by Kitty Stardust on Jan 22, 2013 - 49 answers

A funeral with a crazy family estrangement scenario

How do I deal with my estranged brother at our grandmother's funeral? [more inside]
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse on Dec 23, 2012 - 16 answers

Father's groups in Philadelphia

I'm looking for father's groups in Philadelphia. I have a pre-K child. I'm more interested in a hang-out-and-chat sort of group. University City or Center City would be great. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2012 - 2 answers

How to help a parent cope with the loss of a spouse?

I lost my dear dad unexpectedly Sunday after a series of illnesses. My mom, luckily, is still with us. They were together 54 years and my mom was only 17 when they met. The most important thing to my dad was my mom's well-being and I feel it is now my duty to look after her to the best of my ability. I have no idea how to help her cope with the loss of my father. I want to be there for her as much as possible, but I don't want to smother her. Does anyone have any advice?
posted by entropicamericana on Nov 23, 2012 - 18 answers

Never forget - she's my favourite!

Secretly removed as an executor by my father: how should I feel about this? [more inside]
posted by tulipwool on Nov 9, 2012 - 30 answers

How to cut ties with an emotionally abusive father?

My relationship with my emotionally abusive, BPD father has been strained lately; now, after realizing the extent to which his actions was causing me undue stress, I have cut off contact with him completely. But not having a father figure in my life is causing me stress as well. How do I deal with the pain of cutting my father out of my life? [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123 on Nov 5, 2012 - 12 answers

Helping a child cope with an absent parent

Daughter's father no longer in our lives, unexpectedly, after some sad times. Daughter (5) now a stressed little kid. Therapy coming up, but… ? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I let go of my trust issues with my father?

Father issues: How to let go and move on, how to trust, and if I should. [more inside]
posted by Kitty Cornered on Nov 3, 2012 - 7 answers

What can I do to help my aging alcoholic father?

Is there anything I can do to help my alcoholic father? He is retired, getting older, and the issue is getting progressively worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2012 - 14 answers

What to expect when you expect to be a dad?

Are there solo participation (as in not couples) classes for expectant fathers in any high schools or colleges in the USA or Canada?
posted by parmanparman on Aug 28, 2012 - 6 answers

How to handle estranged father's funeral?

My estranged father passed away last Sunday. I've decided to attend the funeral. Please help me conduct myself with something resembling grace. Overly complex snowflakey stuff inside. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey on Jul 31, 2012 - 23 answers

Vitamins for dad-to-be? Prenatal pops' supplements?

What vitamins or supplements should a father-to-be take before conception? Looking for quality swimmers! (Corollary, what foods to avoid?) [more inside]
posted by unclezeb on Jun 29, 2012 - 13 answers

My father: not as evil as Darth Vader, at least.

I've found my father and decided to contact him after about 25 years of silence. I need to come up with something better than, "Hi. You helped spawn me. I have questions." [more inside]
posted by cmyk on Jun 21, 2012 - 14 answers

How 'bout I pay for your wedding if you sucker your friends into giving me money?

My father asked me to use my social networks to get my friends to use his business. When I balked, he tried telling me that if I did, he'd pay for my wedding with the money. Am I right to be offended? And what do I do? [more inside]
posted by corb on Jun 19, 2012 - 31 answers

Ailing Father, Neglectful Stepmother, & a Confused Daughter

How do I address my father's illness, marital problems, and general malaise as a child who has long ago flown the coop and has no solid plans to return to her hometown? [more inside]
posted by afabulousbeing on Jun 16, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I support my adult son whose father has turned on him?

How can I support my adult son whose father has turned on him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 24, 2012 - 19 answers

How to navigate crazy daddy issues?

How do I deal with an emotionally charged email from my (semi-estranged?) father? Is it time to cut ties? Crazy snowflake wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2012 - 15 answers

I knew being a parent wouldn't be easy, but this is really hard.

Help me be a better long-distance parent. [more inside]
posted by doomtop on May 2, 2012 - 12 answers

Name that movie about apartheid South Africa

Help me figure out what movie about apartheid South Africa I'm remembering. [more inside]
posted by Salvor Hardin on Apr 22, 2012 - 4 answers

How do I communicate better with my dad?

I need some advice on how to communicate better with my dad and hopefully improve our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 11 answers

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