Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with fat

Acing this test!

lundman — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:47:30 -0800

Me = fat guy, annual health checks = "A" grade. What gives? Actual data inside, BP, LDL, HDL, Cholesterol etc, inside... So, without a doubt I am obese, about 135kg/200lbs. (BMI at 40 this year). I have always struggled with weight, and pretty much spent 23 years fighting it. There is a lot of kanji in here I can't read.

The data is as follows, sorry it is so hard to read, couldn't find how to make tables in meta.

_____2-years-ago_____1-year-ago_____this-year
BP: 108/70_____128/86_____118/80
Kanji: 84_____84_____81
HbA1c: 4.7_____4.6_____X

Cholstr: 119_____122_____133
Kanji: 54_____79_____60
HDL-C: 50_____45_____42
LDL-C: 91_____87_____X

UricAcid: 6.9_____6.7_____6.5

Kanji: x_____x_____6.7
GOT(AST): 25_____25_____26
GPT(ALT): 23_____24_____34
y-GTP: 13_____13_____15
AL-P: 209_____195_____213

LDH: X_____X_____204
T-Bil x_____x_____0.6

I'm a bit unsure what I am doing "wrong" I guess. My diet is not fantastic, but sure better then it has been before. (In terms of carbs anyway). I cycle to/from work, but maybe i need more exercise (don't we always).

I recently threw in the towel on trying to get smaller, clearly I am not going to win. I have decided to go the other way, if I am to be big, I want to be big, meaning muscle, so I have started that instead. I feel really good about that though.

The only "*" I got was on Cholesterol, I guess they feel it is getting high. (Although, their guide says 150-219). Perhaps it is 'too low'. How can a fat guy have too low cholesterol?

Although I am aware that these checks are more for the health insurance to know what to charge the company, than they are about my health. But it feel peculiar to get "A" grade, when you get droned about how bad it is to be fat.

Amusingly, I seem to fit the profile for AD-37, but I get the feeling that's more fringe-science..

And yes, you are not my doctor. :)

Is it ok to call out skinny girls for calling themselves fat?

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:59 -0800

Should I recognize that all women have body image issues, or do I have a point in feeling annoyed that someone a lot smaller than me is describing herself as "curvy"? I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and she mentioned something about having to come to terms with the fact that she was "curvy". By curvy, she meant (her words) that she occupied an awkward space where she wasn't fat and she wasn't skinny - a weird middle ground of not belonging. While is indeed very shapely, she's actually quite petite, has a very small waist, and I suspect that at least 90% of people asked would describe her as thin.

I, on the other hand, am 5'8 and 185lbs (when I tell people this, they usually make a face and say 'That can't be right'), and well-proportioned but nevertheless substantial figure. I was a fat kid in elementary school, and have my whole life probably been at least 10lbs overweight. While I'm quite comfortable with my body, I do struggle with body image, and all the negative feelings that come with being a big girl.

My immediate (reflexive) reaction to her statement was, "You're not curvy," to which she took offense. She does work in an industry where body image comes into play in a way that it never has for me, and I realize that I shouldn't discount someone's insecurities because of my own anxiety. Women, whether size 0 or 24, all experience discomfort with their bodies at times.

At the same time, I can't help but feel that she really doesn't occupy the space between fat and thin, whereas I have for my whole life. I feel by identifying as such, she a) has some unrealistic ideas about her body, and b) is attaching herself to an identity she hasn't really experienced.

So tell me, am I just being insecure and competitive unnecessarily, or do I have a point? I'm not saying that she doesn't have reason to have her own insecurities, and I'm not trying to be part of an exclusive club, but I feel a bit like she doesn't really know what she's talking about. Even if I'm out of line, I'd love to hear from women who react the same way as I did.

How do I remove the fat from chicken broth?

esprit de l'escalier — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:19:08 -0800

How do I remove the fat from chicken broth? I boiled 5 pounds of chicken backs and necks for 3 hours. The last couple times I did this, I put the broth in the fridge, and was able to remove a thick layer of fat. This time I made a lot more broth than usual, so maybe it cooled more slowly in the fridge? The result is that the broth is very fatty, but so homogenized that I can't skim any fat off of it.

I tried reheating some of the broth and putting it in the freezer, but I couldn't figure out if I was skimming fat or gelatin.

Style tips for the circumferentially challenged

Ziggy500 — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 09:57:11 -0800

Plus-size ladies, please help me be fabulous. [UK] I'm a young, pear-shaped, quite overweight woman (in the process of sloooowwwly losing weight fwiw). I carry all my weight around my stomach and hips, my top half is almost disproportionately small. I always wear the same thing: Tops or long-line tunics, and jeans/trousers. I've never worn dresses or skirts all that much. I feel like they make my midsection look even bigger.

The problem: The top/trouser combo is both boring and, worse, occasionally frumpy (because larger tops that fit my hips are sometimes too big for my upper body).

So basically, what other styles can I try that will work with my body shape and WON'T be frumpy? What UK shops can I go to apart from the high street staples? I love accessories, so any tips regarding those would be much welcomed as well.

Fitness level for body fat scale

jclovebrew — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:30:29 -0800

My body fat measuring scale requires me to give it parameters: Age, Height, Gender, and Fitness Level (1, 2, or 3). What should I enter for fitness level? The instructions just say something like "enter your fitness level on a scale from 1 to 3". Does anyone have a similar product and have a rule of thumb for this?

How to mask smelly farts?

Anonymous — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:15:21 -0800

How to mask smelly farts? Is there something my partner can put in his underwear or near his butt to make him less smelly? Like a charcoal pad to sit on, or even better, something to insert into his underwear?

He tries to put a pillow over his butt to block the smell so he can sit next to me on the couch. It doesn't work perfectly and the pillow ends up smelling like it might actually hurt your lungs. That is the level of smell we're talking about here. He is so embarrassed if he thinks I notice anything. I can't imagine how he feels if he is at the office or on the train.

He is going to get tested for some medical conditions but it might take a while for the results. In the meantime it would be excellent if he could cuddle with me without feeling ashamed. It breaks my heart that he is so self-conscious about it. Please help.

How to avoid gaining weight when you become a couple?

mintchip — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 18:46:09 -0800

How to avoid gaining weight when you become a couple? I know the general principles for avoiding gaining weight: eat less, exercise more. But any tips for when life circumstances change – specifically you go from single to a couple?

My boyfriend said a lot of his exes gained weight after they started dating, and I’m worried that it is starting to happen with me. In a way, it’s almost predictable…I’m eating out more and watching calories less, and I have less time in my already tight schedule for workouts now that we’re spending a lot of ‘couple time’ together.

Probably the most diet-unfriendly is the social aspect of eating together. My boyfriend has a larger appetite and can get away with eating more than I do, and more frequently. But since I’m at his house much of the time, I tend to match his schedule and habits and even tastes, and end up feeling deprived if I eat much less than him. This was not really a problem when I was eating dinner alone at home (although I suppose it’s a nice problem to have in the grand scheme of things) and had 100% control of what food was in the fridge and when and what was available to eat (no tempting snacks on hand, etc.).

I know I should just “be stricter” but any tips for how to actually do it without feeling totally deprived?

Shifting stbborn body fat...

deeper red — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:47:01 -0800

Lost about 70lb recently but my body fat figure remains stubbornly high. Read on for more info... I'm presently at 178lb (male) but my body fat figure is about 24% (according to my digital scales; yeah I know these aren't accurate but I can definitely pinch more than an inch and have much puppy fat).

Questions:

1) I hate gyms but is there a regime that will help me burn off this fat? Intense cardio? 10 mins on each machine?

2) Assuming I burn off the fat and keep to my diet, can I assume the fat will stay away? So I can maybe put in a few months at the gym and stay away? (Did I mention that I hate gyms?)

Is coconut milk fattening?

hifiparasol — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:46:37 -0800

Is coconut milk fattening? Lately I've been getting really into Trader Joe's Thai Green Curry simmer sauce, which I had assumed was relatively healthy until I happened to look at the label: 13 grams of saturated fat per serving, equaling 63 percent of the recommended daily value.

I assume most of this is coming from the coconut milk and shredded coconut in the sauce (there's no eggs/dairy/meat in it). I tried googling around for some info, but this was the best I could find, and I get a creepy SEO vibe from it. I get the same vibe from many of the other articles I found too -- though they all seem to offer some not-100%-convincing good news (that coconut milk can be healthy when combined with an active lifestyle, that Pacific islanders have low instances of obesity and heart disease, yada yada).

Has anyone read anything on this topic that can enlighten me?

Apple body shape - is the news all bad?

terrierhead — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:27:10 -0800

What advantages are there to having an apple shape? Studies have shown that having a fat storage pattern that favors the abdomen (the apple shape) rather than the buttocks and hips (the pear shape) carries an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and general ill health. There's got to be an upside, right? Wouldn't evolution have taken the trait out if there weren't?

My googling is not the strongest and my searching has gotten me nowhere. What advantages can you think of to being an apple?

Which would make me fatter 10lb of fat, or 10lb of celery.

zeoslap — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 10:57:51 -0800

If I ate 1lb of fat each day for a week would I gain more weight than if I'd eaten 1lb of celery each day for a week, and if so why.

Tried and true fat-free baked dessert recipes that don't suck?

vytae — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:21:02 -0800

I'm looking for fat-free (or super low-fat, like under a gram per reasonably-sized serving) recipes for baked goods that you've personally made and enjoyed. Cookies, cakes, quick breads, etc. are all fair game. Bonus points for chocolate stuff. I've heard all the usual tips about using apple sauce, prune baby food, black beans, instant fat-free pudding, etc. in place of the oil. I'm not averse to those things, but I'm having trouble finding any recipes using these techniques that aren't followed by 150 reviews saying how disgusting the results are. So: I'm not looking for general low-fat baking tips, I'm looking for specific recipes that you've actually had good results with. I don't expect the results to taste exactly like the real thing, I just want a non-gross approximation, and I trust the taste of my fellow MeFites more than a slew of random complainers on the internet cooking sites.

(Also, I understand that 2 bites of the real thing may be more satisfying than a huge piece of some nonfat substitute. And that adding sugar to make up for lost fat yumminess doesn't reduce overall calories. And that low-fat diets aren't a cure-all. I'm hoping to head off any derails here at the pass - just recipes, please! Thanks!)

FUNNY HEALTH TITLE

Team of Scientists — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:16:05 -0800

I'd like to lose the bit of fat that has been with me for as long as I can remember. What should I include in my diet/workout regimen? Some background: I am male, 6'0", 25 years old, and I weigh about 180 lbs. I am in decent shape right now, and I feel pretty good about myself, but I think I'm ready to experiment with a highly disciplined lifestyle to see what kind of results I can get.

I have a bit of belly fat that seems as if it won't ever go away. My goal is to drop my body fat percentage to a point at which this pudge finally disappears.

For the first 6 months of this year, I had been eating relatively healthy and lifting weights regularly with no cardio. In June, I dropped the weights and began swimming 5 days a week for 50-60 minutes each session.

I really enjoy the swimming, and I'd like to continue it, but I'm not sure if I should be supplementing my cardio workout with some more strength training. I was thinking of simply adding about 20 minutes of calisthenics to the beginning of each swim workout (think pushups, pullups, dips, etc.) to maintain some muscle mass. Does this sound like it would be more effective than simply swimming every weekday? What kind of workout regimen would/did you adhere to in order to lower your body fat?

Now to perhaps the most important part: my diet. I have recently been eating well (lean proteins, veggies, fruit for the most part), but I have no set routine. This results in me occasionally settling on some Panera or Qdoba for meals. I'd like to structure my diet so that I know what I am eating at what time each and every day. One caveat: I don't want to drive myself insane by eating the same bland crap every day. Is there any way to do this? I think I'd be satisfied with the same lunch/breakfast/snacks every day, and if I could just have a different dinner each day of the week, that would be just fine. Also, in the interest of saving some time, I'd like to stick with the three main meals of the day with snacks in between instead of, say, 7 small meals throughout the day.

How many calories should I be consuming, factoring in my workout regimen? What kind of foods should I include in my diet? High protein? High/low carbs? Any healthy and delicious entree suggestions?

I enjoy omelettes for breakfast as a cheap source of protein. I think I could go on a spinach and feta omelette or something similar every day for a while. I love asparagus, broccoli, sweet potatoes, apples, cheese, cottage cheese (these are many of the staples of my current diet). I'm sure I can work most of this into my diet, but how? Also, I currently drink a smoothie consisting of a banana, 5 strawberries, 3 spoonfuls vanilla yogurt, a scoop of whey, and some milk after every workout. Should I keep this?

Is there any other advice AskMeFi can offer that I might have overlooked? Apologies for the long post, but I know you MeFites are a generous source of health information.

Help a health-conscious snacker bake!

schmoo — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 08:28:08 -0800

Please suggest me some snacks, light or portable dishes that are both healthy and involve baking or cooking. I love to cook. I especially love to cook recipes that involve lots of chopping, stiring, mixing, frying or baking. I don't like recipes that are just an assembly of ingredients, or which only take 2 minutes. I like to be in the kitchen! That said, I'm not looking to spend hours in the kitchen, so something that takes 3 days isn't really an option!

I cook a lot of meals like this in the evenings, but I'm looking for snacks that I can bake or cook. - Things that I can take to work in my lunchbox, snack on after work, or leave in the fridge and graze on for a few days.

However, I'm also pretty health-conscious and trying to, if not lose a few pounds, definately not put any on. This rules out the normal things that I think I would find fun cooking - cookies, cupcakes, muffins, quiche, samosas, breads, etc. That list seems biased towards sweet things, but savoury are just as welcome, if not more.

The kinds of things that I am looking for, and have experimented with already are: falafels (baked, not fried), healthy lo-cal dips (would welcome more of these!) and glazed nuts (not the most low-fat of snack but at least has health benefits). I would love any and all suggestions for things along these lines. I would also welcome low-calorie versions of the things that I don't bake - cookies, cakes, etc.

So - give me your recipes for low-fat, low-cal or just plain healthy snacks and light dishes which involve cooking or baking.

I have searched previous posts, and while there are many on health snack ideas, none that meet my particular criteria! Thanks in advance!

How to turn an apple into a banana

cloudsandstars — Sat, 23 May 2009 10:15:40 -0800

I'm an apple, but I'd much rather be a banana. How can I get rid of my middle and reshape my body? Unfortunately, my lofty goals at the beginning of the year turned out to be an epic fail for me. I have managed to lose about 7 pounds over the last 7 weeks, but I remain around 50 pounds overweight. I am the textbook "apple" shape, with most of my extra weight around my middle. I know this is unhealthy, and it is starting to look bad, too. Not to mention the effect it is having on my emotional state of mind and confidence level.

I've already cut way back on my sugar intake and portion sizes, and have simply started moving more. That is helping, but I'm afraid that with my slow metabolism, it will take years to get this harmful weight down to a manageable level. I'd rather it take months.

So, what I'm really asking here is: Are there any specific foods should I eat, foods I should avoid, and which exercises would be most effective in helping me get rid of this particular type of stomach/hip/back fat?

I'm a busy girl, I work a lot, am trying to save money, and would prefer to do any exercising in the privacy of my own home.

Thanks.

The pain of gallstones makes me want to die.

All.star — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 12:33:33 -0800

Trying to cut down on fatty foods now that I know I have gallstones. After two trips to the ER this week due some really severe pain, I've been diagnosed with having gallstones. I will be making an appointment with my doctor on Monday and will be discussing if/when to have my gallbladder removed. In the meantime, I am supposed to cut down on fatty foods.

I am a vegetarian and think I already eat a relatively low fat diet, but my one downfall is olive oil. I like to make things like veg and tofu stir fry, or roasted vegetables with olive oil, etc. Is there something else I can use instead of olive oil? Any other ideas on cutting down on fat, or meal ideas would also be appreciated.

Rapid, safe fat loss tips?

philosophygeek — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:32:56 -0800

I would like to lose a lot of fat in a short period of time. Help me do so safely and effectively! My circumstances have aligned such that I have a great window of opportunity to work out hard and eat well for the next few weeks, and I also have a social event in about two weeks, by which time I would like to be substantially less fat. I'd love to literally melt off as much fat as possible in that time.

I don't really care about my weight, per se; if putting on more muscle will help me burn fat faster, I'm fine with adding pounds of muscle mass. What I do want to do is take as much advantage of my circumstances as possible to lose the fat that I've accumulated since becoming an undergraduate.

I'm willing to work extremely hard and, quite frankly, to be constantly sore and exhausted for the next two weeks. I'm also willing to radically alter my diet for that time. However, I don't want to do any permanent damage. I understand that, ideally, losing fat should be a gradual process, but my current circumstances make it far more likely that I'll be able to focus and work intensely on this goal for two weeks, as opposed to sticking with a slow plan. I hope that this effort can jump-start a more long-term fat reduction effort, but right now "sprint" is preferable to "marathon." I'm familiar with general weight loss techniques; I'm looking for advice geared towards rapid, short-term results.

Relevant details: I'm 27, male, in good health other than being too fat (my BMI is borderline obese, and my doctor agrees that I should make some efforts in this area). I'm medically approved for any kind of physical activity.

My culture told me to jump and I asked, how often should I jump to lose the most weight?

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:52:35 -0800

I would like to lose weight. Please help me find the most efficient way to do this. I apologize for the length of this question. I'm a 5”6’ woman. I weigh approximately 137 pounds. I'd like to weigh closer to 127. I tried dieting, and have been keeping track of everything I eat for nearly a year. This is not working for me. In the first few months, I experienced some weight loss, and I managed to stay around 132 pounds for a while. Then... Christmas. I'm back to 137, and dieting isn't working.

My inexpert theory is that my metabolism has slowed. Since eating less than I currently do would almost certainly be unhealthy, it looks like I have to start working out. This is a problem for me. It’s not just that I’m very busy right now, it’s that the things I am busy with require an enormous amount of willpower, and by the end of the day I really feel like I am totally out of energy to force myself to do something unpleasant. So running, which I understand to be a very good workout for weight loss, is out, because to me it’s just horrible torture and I can’t imagine spending all day forcing myself to complete various draining and difficult tasks and then getting on a treadmill. I would cry.

So, if my goal is to lose weight, what (apart from running) can I do to make that happen as efficiently as possible? I would like to minimize the amount of time I spend doing this, and how disruptive it is to my life. If I can avoid having to do the gym thing (change… go there… work out… go home… shower… change… too many steps! Yes, I know how I sound) that would be amazing.

The only idea I have had so far is to take long walks. This idea appeals to me (I wouldn’t mind exploring my city) but I am not sure it’s a good return on the time spent as compared to other exercises. Is that right? If I spend three hours a week walking around, how does that compare to three hours a week on a bike (or whatever)? Would it be a waste of my time as exercise or would it help slightly? Would I be better off doing pushups or something like that?

Thank you in advance for your advice. I am happy to provide more information, and can be reached at lamezilla@gmail.com.

If I could consume nothing but celery and water, I would.

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 01:06:39 -0800

How do I keep morale up and depression from setting in during a lengthy weight loss process? I am morbidly obese, by clinical standards. I am in my early 30's, educated, have a job I like and friends, am active in the world, and try to enjoy life as much as possible, given it's unpredictable nature. I've been obese since childhood, and have been trying to lose the weight off and on through various means since the age of 12. In the middle of last year, I nearly died due to a massive infection and the resulting kidney damage, following a botched weight loss surgery. I knew it was risky going in, due to a non-weight related medical condition, but I was desperate to lose the weight and so drawn in by the promises of success and the confidence of my doctor. After some very unpleasant medical procedures, including the reversal of my surgery, a large sum of money, and a painful recovery, I lost 30 pounds, but am largely in the same place I was before.

My question is: what are some tactics to keep my morale up, and from getting depressed about my weight, now that I am back to trying to lose it the old-fashioned way?

I'm not an overly sensitive person, but fat jokes are everywhere. It's ok to make fun of fat people, because we did this to ourselves. I almost died once already, what else can I do, but what I'm doing? I 'm not projecting; I see the way people look at me when I'm out in public, especially when I'm in a gym. On one hand, it's good motivation, but I'm not going to be losing a massive amount of weight anytime in the immediate future, so I'm in this situation for the long haul. I already attend Weight Watchers, but that focuses solely on the diet aspect, not the "living as a fat person" part.

Recipe for truly succulent, traditional Jewish brisket?

roxie110 — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:01:41 -0800

How do you make truly tender, succulent Jewish-style brisket? I've had a craving for brisket-like-my-grandmother-used-to-make for about a year now. I finally got the meat and my mother's recipe and cooked it today. The taste is great and the thin end of the meat turned out close to what I was hoping for; the thick end is cooked through but not moist and falling apart like brisket in my world should be, and when I stick a fork in it gives a lot of resistance. I don't know if I over- or undercooked it. I should mention that my "dutch oven" (really a stockpot) was too narrow so I used a Calphalon deep covered 13" nonstick skillet instead--maybe a big mistake? I am such a brisket novice.

Below is a quick recap of how I cooked it. I've looked up a ton of recipes but each one is slightly different, and life's too short to try every one. My question is this: who has a foolproof (mostly) recipe for truly tender, traditional Jewish brisket!? And just as important, how do you know how long to cook it and when it's done? (Can you overcook a brisket, as long as there's still liquid in the pan?)

Recipe I used for half a first-cut brisket, about 3 pounds, fat trimmed:
Preheat oven to 350. Place thickly sliced onions, carrots, and a couple chopped garlic cloves in bottom of Dutch oven. Rub ketchup, ground pepper, paprika, and one envelope onion soup mix on all surfaces of brisket. Add liquid to 3/4 inches deep (I used 1.5 cans low-sodium beef broth; most of liquid was absorbed by the end of cooking). Place chunks of potato around meat. Cover tightly and roast for 2.5 hours. Baste two or three times during cooking. Remove from heat, cool meat, and slice across the grain.

Help! And thank you!

What martial arts movie is this?

stlboi — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 20:23:16 -0800

What martial arts movie is this? White good guy vs. bigger fatter black bad guy in the end? I remember watching this movie on HBO in the 90s when I was around 12 or so. It's about a white guy being trained by a fat black guy who also turns out being the main bad guy at the end with a unique fighting style and so they both end up fighting each other in the end. That was a huge twist, and didn't see it coming because the movie made it seem that they were really turning out to be real good friends.

Any ideas?

Help a fat girl wear belts!

timetoevolve — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:52:55 -0800

Plus-size ladies, how do you wear your belts? I am a big girl who has never worn belts, but I am interested in trying out the look. For an example, I think this is a super-cute look, but I'm not sure if/how it would work on me.

Considerations:

-I am on the tall side (5'9"), very long-waisted, and comparatively short-legged. The ideal belt placement I'd like to attain would make my sausage legs look longer without making me look like Grandpa Simpson.
-I am of pretty equal proportion on top and bottom, and quite busty (DD creeping toward E).
-I am, at least in Lane Bryant-sized clothing, anywhere from a 24 to a 28.
-I read and like fatshionista, but sometimes the advice is a little too young/gothy for my style aesthetic. (I do buy some accessories from Torrid, however.)

Savvy accessorizers, please help me navigate the jungle of belts!

How much fat in these cookies?

nitsuj — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:25:00 -0800

Can you estimate the number of fat grams (and calories, if you're feeling spunky) in one of these cookies? My fiancee says 30 grams. I say closer to 100. (Let's use Chocolate Chip for the example.)

So… I'm fat! Still wanna meet up?

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:38:50 -0800

I need to gracefully let someone I've spoken with on the phone, and who I'm developing feelings for, know that I'm kind of fat before we meet in person. How can I do this? Please AskMe help me work out what to say and how to say it. Backstory
I'm a girl, he's a guy. A mutual friend introduced us and we've been chatting on the phone. I definitely did not expect to develop feelings for him other than friendship. As far as I know, neither did he. So when we started talking appearance wasn't really an issue. But we unexpectedly hit it off and gradually, over a couple of weeks, feelings have developed.

It's only gradually dawned on me that he likes me as more than a friend. Long conversations and texts have escalated into jokes about what are you wearing and, uh, jokes about phone sex and how much he likes my voice and wants to meet me. In fact, he's said about four times now that he really wants to meet me. Now it's hit me, hard, that I do like him a lot 'like that' and would like to meet him too.

Complications
Despite the strong indications that he also likes me a lot, it's still at that awkward stage where everything has been implied and nothing has been said outright. Complicating things even further, we can't meet face to face for at least another three months. We live about 1800 miles apart and for a variety of reasons neither of us can travel for a while.

I know being overweight can be a deal breaker and I need to let him know that I'm, well, fat, before spending weeks talking with him on the phone, both of us getting attached and then him being (possibly) horrified when he meets me.

He's seen pics of me (Facebook) so he knows what my face looks like. You can tell I'm not, you know, Jessica Alba. You can't tell that I'm quite fat. I'm 5'3 and 163 pounds. None of it is muscle. Quite a bit of it is boobs. And bum. And belly and thighs. I don't need to be levered out of the house by crane and I shop in the normal sizes part of the store, but I am definitely hefty.

Halp
I just… can't think of a way to bring this up that's not hideous awkward. Everything I think of to say is just so cringe-y. And makes me sound like I'm really insecure about how I look. (Which, I kind of am, truthfully.) And now that I've realised I LIKE him, I feel very awkward too, which isn't helping.

So, the way I see it, possible solutions are:

Ideal
Somehow I convey to him that I am Not Thin. At all. I just can't imagine how I'd begin to phrase this gracefully, or how to create an opening where it'll seem natural. Him:'How bout that weather, huh?' Me:'So! You seem great. And I'd really like to meet you too! It's so lovely that you think I have a sexy voice. But, just so's you know, In person, I'm kind of ordinary and short and round – quite round – and uh… yeah.' Him:'Uh…'. Even if I do manage to phrase it better than that, if he has some hidden horror of big girls, well. Awkward. Silence.

Less than ideal
Ask the mutual friend who introduced us to let him know, gently, that I am kind of fat. I'm thinking something like: Friend:'So you and Miss Anonymous have really hit it off, huh?' Him:'Uh huh'. Friend:'She's lovely. She's really curvy.'Him:'How curvy?' Friend:'Curvy. And short. She's not obese. But pretty… curvy.' But they're my curves, surely I should be able to tell someone about them myself? And I cringe at the idea of phoning up my friend and basically asking 'Uh, can you u tell Anonymous Boy I'm fat plz?' Ugh.

Really not a good idea
Say nothing. Risk possible horror/disappointment when we meet in person.

'If only' solution
Undertake a radical change in eating and exercise, meet in three months, a radiant new me. He is smitten. Downside: I suppose it is possible that I could get down to 140lb in 12 weeks. But it's not likely.

AskMe, what should I say to him? If anyone's wondering, I'm asking anonymously because, although I've been quite flippant here, it hurts terribly for people not to want to be your friend or kiss you because you're fat and the rejection and shame is too hurty for me to put my username to the question. The obligatory throwaway email address is hurfdurflove@gmail.com.

Good Fat, Bad Diet?

Viola — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:43:30 -0800

I’d like to lose 15 pounds in the next year. In addition to jogging, I plan on altering my already somewhat healthy diet because I worry I’m eating too much (good) fat. I recently decided I need to drop the 15 pounds I've gained since graduating college, so I can go back down to 115 at 5'2". I’m halfway through the Couch to 5K program, and that’s going well. In the past few years, I’ve become a much better eater than I was in high school and college, when my diet consisted of grains and beer. However, after tracking my meals on FitDay, I realized I might have a too-high fat intake (in addition to too much sugar), or a too-low vegetable intake. I’m a vegetarian, though I ate fish until very recently.

Breakfast:
-medium coffee with soy milk
-2% strained Greek yogurt, mixed with honey or fruit.

Lunch is usually
- baby spinach salad with walnuts, crumbled feta, and shiitake sesame vinaigrette dressing
or
- (less frequently) Amy’s spinach and feta pocket.

Afternoon
-I have a terrible sweet tooth, and will generally crave something from the office candy jar around 4ish, usually 1-3 mini York peppermint patties, and depending on my mood, will repeat again when leaving work. I'm cutting back severely on this habit as well.

Dinner
- almost invariably I come home from work and dive for two big, high-fiber Swedish wafers that I dip in hummus, or a handful of roasted almonds/cashews

this snacking is followed by one or two of the following:
- 2 cups’ worth of microwaved Amy’s organic butternut squash/cashew carrot ginger soup.
or
-two eggs fried in olive oil
or
--baby spinach salad, same as lunch

Alcohol
- 1-3 glasses of whiskey, imbibed between 0-3 times a week

Exercise
- Jogging 3x a week for 35 minutes.

See, this all seems healthy to me, but I tend to default to a "It's organic! It must be healthy!" mentality. I'm slowly realizing that just because I can read all the ingredients on the packaging doesn’t mean they’re all good for me in that quantity. I know I need to cut down on the processed sugar and whiskey, but I also worry that the processed veggie foods (Amy’s soups and vegetable pockets) don’t offer much nutritive value if I’m zapping them in the microwave first. I’ll cruise Ask.Me for specific directions for healthy breakfasts, how to easily eat more vegetables, etc, (though feel free to post any advice here!) but is there anything in those foods that jump out at you as red flags? Anything I should tweak, cut back on, or cut out to make my diet healthier and suitable for losing weight?