Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with familyplanning

New or not-so-new parents, give us the benefit of your 20-20 hindsight.

Ladybug Parade — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:06:34 -0800

This could be our last child-free year. What should we do/enjoy? Emphasis on the "enjoy."

My husband is finishing up grad school, so, God willing, we'll be starting a family in a little over a year. Instead of sitting around being bummed about the babies we don't have yet, how can we make the most of this year? What will we wish we'd done more of while we were still child-free -- either individually or as a couple (other than sleeping)? What are we taking for granted right now? What will we look back on and wish we'd appreciated more? What opportunities will we wish we had seized?

I've searched and searched AskMe for this question, but I haven't found it. This is not really what I'm looking for, since my husband and I already talk about how we'll raise our kids nearly every day.

Details: I'm 32, he's 36. As I mentioned, he's in school, so money is tight (no trips to Europe for now). We're in the greater DC area.

Volunteer opportunities to increase access to contraception?

stupidsexyFlanders — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:09:04 -0800

I want to volunteer my time/talents to an organization that helps women get access to contraception and family planning education. I know about Planned Parenthood and the National Family Planning & Reproductive Health Association. Any other ideas? I'm in Philly.

What should we discuss before we have kids?

saragoodman3 — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:20:02 -0800

Apologies, I know there is a lot on this topic, but I have a specific question that doesn't seem to be answered. We are thinking of having kids. We both want them. What should we discuss before we jump in with both feet? Who will stay home, and for how long? What kinds of names are you considering? What forms of punishment / praise will be used? When can she get her ears pierced? etc. There seems to be so much to discuss... and I want to start having the conversation before I get hormonal. This will be our first. What conversations did you have before yours were born?

Help me decide whether to have a baby or study medicine first.

mjao — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 17:54:39 -0800

My partner and I really want to procreate. I also want to go to medical school. I've spoken to friends about this, to gather several schools-of-thought that might be useful in making some kind of decision as to the timing of these two things. Now I'm turning to you. Which should we do first? I am 23 and I'm an undergrad; I want to go to med school eventually. My partner is 30. I would say that we want a child more than I want to go to med school. i.e., If I had a child first, and found that it became impossible to study medicine because of this commitment, I think I would learn to accept that and feel content with my life. However if I pursue medicine, and put off having a child, and something happened such as the death of my partner, or becoming infertile, etc., I would be devastated and would not be satisfied with my career/life at all.

The way I see it, here are my options.

1.) Have a child now. I am currently studying biomedical science externally. I'm still in first year. I could have a baby and cut back to part-time study until my baby is a certain age, then go to med school. By the way, I am not concerned with becoming a doctor ASAP. I could easily see myself waiting until my child was a teenager before I pursued this. Life is long. But the problem with this plan (as some of my friends tell me), is that once I have a child I probably won't want to go to med school. I feel that there is a flaw in this argument. It is conceivable however that I may very well want to study medicine, but find myself strapped for time/energy. Possibly until the child is an adult.

-Are there any mefites who managed to go to med school (or undertake similar study) with a small child? Or do you know anyone who did?

2.) Work really hard, finish med school before having a child. This option bothers me. I can't imagine waiting ten years to have a baby. After all, I won't be able to give birth straight out of med school. It will be a few years at least until the work load decreases somewhat. (I want to be a GP, by the way.)

I am willing to do this, but my partner and I do feel strongly about having a child as soon as possible. If I were to decide to finish med school first, what do you guys think of freezing sperm/ova, in case something disastrous were to happen in the meantime?

3.) Have a baby now, work in pathology or research with my undergrad degree, and just see what happens with my feelings toward medicine?

Basically, I may be naive, but I feel that having a child doesn't have to change your life. Of course, it DOES, but I feel that with careful scheduling you should be able to achieve things and have a family.
On the other hand I am aware medical school is very intensive and very draining and many students do not come out with their spirituality/humanity/personality intact, let alone their relationships. I would hate it if I found myself getting so involved in medicine that I drifted away from my partner, and we never had a chance to have children.

Help me decide, hive mind!

eight is enough?

wilful — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 19:04:58 -0800

How big should a family be? What's relevant when undertaking your family planning? This is not a question with cut and dried answers, but I would like to know what are the relevant or material factors that you think should be considered when you're discussing potential breeding with your life partner.

How many is the right number of kids (assuming > 0)? 1, 2, 6? We've got one and are debating a second.

We talk about:
* sibling relationships (number one having a brother/sister)
* having a 'spare' (if number one turns out to be a turd)
* the concept/visualisation of 'family' being multiple kids ('one for each of us')
* single child syndrome
* environmental impacts and consumption of first world people - a clear moral imperative to not breed any further
* $ costs in both raising kids (bigger car, bigger house!) and lost earnings
* time for our relationship as adults (not just tired and stressed parents)

I'm very interested in hearing your reflections, wisdom, experiences, studies proving or refuting any points made, whatever you've got.