My aunt has potentially terminal cancer. She's avoiding making any decisions, but she's also not doing anything to enjoy the present. My mother is a wreck. Is there anything at all that I can do to help? [more inside]
posted by amelioration on Jan 27, 2009 - 7 answers

What techniques can you use to avoid falling into the family dynamic trap? By that I mean, for the first few hours/days everything's fine with parents and siblings, my identity is intact, but soon after, somehow, we're all playing the same parts we always played (we've all flown the nest)... I find it annoying how I find it difficult to rise above this. ie. feeling intimidated by my older brother, oddly belittled by my younger brother ignored by parents. I'm sure I'm a rather oversensitive middle child but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only factor! This year I am determined to enjoy my Christmas without the family dynamics crap. We're all old enough for this not to be a problem, surely? Futile perhaps, but maybe with your rather general advice I may be able to make inroads!
posted by yowza on Dec 21, 2008 - 33 answers