1820 posts tagged with family.
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We created a household budget! Now how do we keep to it?

My partner and I haven't always been good at tracking or controlling our spending. After looking at a couple of years of spending data from various sources, we've finally nailed down a monthly household budget, and we're hoping to implement it starting tomorrow (start of a new month). Now the question is how to make sure we stay within our spending limits for each category. Herein be snowflakes... [more inside]
posted by dry white toast on Apr 30, 2015 - 18 answers

Am I really wrong for wanting my husband to stay in counseling?

My husband and I have had a terrible past year. He has verbally, emotionally and mentally abused me. We each started into individual counseling last fall. His counselor is extremely perceptive and has keyed in on behaviours that lead to him abusing me, and we've both noticed real improvement at home as a result. After one month without any abuse, now he wants to quit counseling. This led to a nasty fight, where he thinks that I am a bad, manipulative person for wanting him to stick with counseling. Now I feel absolutely awful in every way. [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Apr 29, 2015 - 115 answers

How to deal with a family who disproves of the partner that you love?

I've seen questions like mine all over the internet. I've scoured the internet for endless hours in search of effective coping strategies, but every situation is unique. I'm hoping to find some valuable information for my own situation, which I fear may crumble if I do. [more inside]
posted by soochala on Apr 28, 2015 - 43 answers

Gift for family in Israel

My brother is going to visit some family in Isreal -- a cousin and her two elementary-school aged children (boys). What might be a nice gift to bring from America? We don't know the family very well, and we would like the gift to be a surprise...
posted by LittleMy on Apr 22, 2015 - 4 answers

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

How to transition from stay-at-home parent to working parent?

I am a 35-year old woman with 7 and 3 year old kids. I've been a full-time parent for 7 years, and am heading back to a full-time job next week. How have you dealt with this transition? [more inside]
posted by percor on Apr 17, 2015 - 6 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I stay in retail or go back to school and pursue a dream?

I've been sucked into retail and have put my education on hold due to a lack of certainty on a major. I had tried three different programs, but an impractical dream sits in the back of my mind that I have never even attempted. Do I give up good money in the interim for long term fulfilment with a risk? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Apr 13, 2015 - 26 answers

How can I best share photos with my families?

I recently had a few hundred family photos scanned and I'd like to put them up somewhere everyone who's interested can see them. This includes people across several different families and with vastly different technology access/knowledge (though everyone can browse the Internet). I'd strongly prefer not to use Facebook. What's the best solution? [more inside]
posted by rhiannonstone on Apr 11, 2015 - 14 answers

Chaos: The Next Generation

The family is growing, but not in good circumstances. As a concerned, but not directly involved party, how much involvement should I strive for? [more inside]
posted by Les Socks Du Mal on Apr 11, 2015 - 10 answers

Cross-cultural family problems with elderly parents

My parents and I are simply not getting along and I’m struggling to stay true to myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2015 - 11 answers

Brother committed suicide. Shocked and confused. What now?

My brother killed himself yesterday. I just found out today. While I'm not surprised he would do it based on a complicated and messed up history, I am still in shock. Please help me process my feelings. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey on Apr 8, 2015 - 25 answers

Telling Parents About Depression

I was interviewed for a national podcast and spoke frankly about my depression and my occasional suicidal thoughts. It airs in six weeks. I've not told my family about my depression. I want to tell them before the podcast airs. How do I do that? [more inside]
posted by Joey Michaels on Apr 5, 2015 - 5 answers

Must-do, must-see New England activities for a family

Mrs. Ferg and I are planning a trip to New England in June with the smaller Fergs. Since my previous questions about travel activities have been successes, I'm here to query the hive-mind about what our agenda should include to get the maximal "New England" experience. Of course, there's [more inside]
posted by jferg on Apr 5, 2015 - 22 answers

My mom is lonely and alone. Can I offer healthy support with boundaries?

I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by stumblingthroughitall on Mar 31, 2015 - 12 answers

Is my friend using his personal problems as a weapon against us?

A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Mar 29, 2015 - 18 answers

Parting ways with a childhood home

I'm having trouble letting go of my childhood home that I inherited, and the lifetime of stuff inside it. I could use some advice about how to move on. [more inside]
posted by Banknote of the year on Mar 24, 2015 - 28 answers

"Hey Dad, I Didn't Know You Cared!" or How to Reply?

My biological dad suddenly emailed me out of the blue. I have only been approached by him one other time. I am not exactly sure how to proceed here. Prepare for wall of text as my family history is straight out of the Jerry Springer Show. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2015 - 59 answers

Cross-cultural relationship, family problems

We are planning a future together... If only my family would accept him in spite of his race and religion. Snowflakes entail. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 20 answers

Excluded on Discount

Is it rude if everyone at a dinner table receives a discount except you? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Mar 14, 2015 - 24 answers

Like tie-dye, only not. Party crafting for grown-ups!

Last year for my birthday, my family came over for dinner and cake, and we tie-dyed. It was THE BEST. I'd like to do something similar this year - fun for all ages (4 year old - 60 year old, 8-10 people), easy to do, somewhat quick, doesn't require everyone sitting down at the same time and "doing a craft", not too "lame" for the adults, but not too complex that the 4 1/2 year old can't do it without a little help. Tie-dying was fun for everyone, but I'd don't want to do it two years in a row. I've got two weeks and can get pretty much anything in store or from the internet. Willing to spend a bit of cash. Thanks!
posted by firei on Mar 14, 2015 - 29 answers

LA + baby + travel = SUPER GREAT, right?

The husband, the baby and I are flying to LA for a week on very short notice (Saturday). I'll be busy for most of the days; he'll be bopping around with the kid (and is familiar with the area). We'll have one full day for fun together. Ideas and tips? [more inside]
posted by St. Hubbins on Mar 4, 2015 - 5 answers

Kill 'em with kindness strategy is not going to work on me.

Have I lost perspective here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2015 - 50 answers

Missed text = 6 weeks of silent treatment? Really? How do I solve this.

My birthday was a couple of days ago, and I didn't receive a card or a gift from my sister, which I thought was strange as we've always sent each other something on our birthdays. I did talk to my mom, who told me that my sister didn't send me anything because she was mad that I didn't reply to a text she had sent at Christmas. I live on the opposite side of the country, and she sent me a picture of the family Christmas dinner. I had just spoken to her that same day so I didn't think a reply was expected. I actually didn't think about it much at all. We've never kept in touch very often (~monthly) so I didn't pick up on anything, but apparently she's been fuming mad at me for weeks! How do I resolve this? [more inside]
posted by piper4 on Mar 2, 2015 - 18 answers

Brother with cancer; now what?

My 30 year-old brother called me last night to tell me that he has been diagnosed with testicular cancer (based on blood markers/physical examination). His CT scan is later this week, and he'll be scheduled for surgery/radiation/? shortly depending on the results. If you have been through this, what can I do or not do to make this easier for him? [more inside]
posted by My Top Secret Sock Puppet Account on Mar 2, 2015 - 11 answers

A question for only children with elderly/aging parents

As my question might imply, I'm an only child and I'm a little concerned as to how I'll be taking care of my parents in their old age. While they're not frail and elderly, they are in their 50s with various health issues and they're certainly not going to be getting any younger. I'm thinking a lot about my future lately and a large part of that includes this. Most people I know share that responsibility with their siblings, which I assume does make it a little easier (but I know that's not always the case). Right now I live with them but that won't always be the case obviously. Plus, I've got a lot of emotional/mental health struggles of my own so I'm concerned that I might get overwhelmed with the added responsibility. Extended family members won't be a resource either because of a number of issues. I know this might be a little early for me to be thinking about this, but I want to be prepared. [more inside]
posted by KTN on Feb 28, 2015 - 17 answers

I am feeling stuck in a serious rut. How to reboot?

In my mid-20s, going nowhere, full of shame. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2015 - 18 answers

Family Vacation. To go or not to go.

I need help deciding if I need to suck it up and go on a family vacation and if I don't, how to deal with the guilt of missing out on family events. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Feb 25, 2015 - 12 answers

Coping without having parents?

Coping without parents in your adult life? [more inside]
posted by thelivingsea on Feb 21, 2015 - 21 answers

60s documentary on living in the mountains of Alaskan/Canada with family

Im almost positive I watched a documentary, linked on the blue, about a family living in the woods in an idyllic rural part of either Canada or Alaska. I cannot for the life of me find it, but I'll bet you can help me! [more inside]
posted by andromache on Feb 19, 2015 - 7 answers

Family Puerto Rico trip on short notice

We (my husband, me, 4 year old kid) are thinking of going to Puerto Rico for a week in early-mid March. We know almost nothing except that we want to not be cold for a few days. Where do we start? Is this a good idea or is the snow affecting our judgement? So many questions. [more inside]
posted by tchemgrrl on Feb 18, 2015 - 9 answers

She's going back to the land...

Can the Hive Mind help me in brainstorming the perfect family homestead? [more inside]
posted by polly_dactyl on Feb 12, 2015 - 35 answers

Beneficiaries: none?

There is no one in my life… so who benefits from my death? Not a request for legal estate advice. I need to sort out my limited beneficiary options given my dismal family situation. Help? [more inside]
posted by falldownpaul on Feb 10, 2015 - 28 answers

How do we tell his family that we are having a secular wedding?

My fiance and I are both atheists with strong antitheist views. We're getting married in November and want something that represents us. His family, however, is extremely religious (Baptist) and will have certain expectations of us; they don't easily take no for an answer. What is the best way to balance the two worlds? [more inside]
posted by DriftingLotus on Feb 8, 2015 - 30 answers

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help... no really!

What can I do to help my co-worker who's dealing with family illness? My co-worker's mom was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer several months ago and going through treatment with a poor prognosis, and then this week her dad had a seizure. My co-worker is now in the situation of having to be the sole care-taker (both physically and emotionally) of two very ill parents. I'd like to do something to help -- any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by purplevelvet on Feb 6, 2015 - 23 answers

The Game of Life

Trying to identify this elaborate custom-tailored performance art/ARG project I read about, possibly on MetaFilter, circa 2007-2010. Basically: you apply for the chance to have this group go to your hometown and stage an elaborate theatrical experience personalized to you, starring all your friends and family, for the purposes of creating a powerful emotional experience. [more inside]
posted by Rhaomi on Feb 5, 2015 - 3 answers

Mother is too reliant on me - how do I navigate this now?

My mother is increasingly reliant on me for the fulfilment of her emotional needs. Can I do anything to remedy this? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Jan 30, 2015 - 17 answers

Tux Police

My brother-in-law is turning 50 and is planning a shindig. [more inside]
posted by terrier319 on Jan 28, 2015 - 35 answers

What to do about my mother-in-law's car?

My mother-in-law has a completely borked car. This is apparently my job to fix. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by miyabo on Jan 27, 2015 - 16 answers

Seeking comfort and grace, not depression and sorrow

The last of my grandparents just passed away (it was peaceful and expected) but I'm struggling to hold myself together. I think my grieving is normal since it just happened but I'd love to hear advice and techniques to think of his life and death in positive, comforting ways. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jan 27, 2015 - 10 answers

Help me shut down conversations

I'm related to a person of moderate fame in a (global) community I'm part of. We share a last name. When people ask me my name, I don't tell them my last name, but if it comes up, they ask "Oh, are you related to [famous relative]?" How do I gracefully shut down, redirect, or prevent this conversation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2015 - 55 answers

When is a last name left lowercase?

I'm writing a piece of software to go through a very large database and format last names in their correct casing (i.e., smith or SMITH or sMith to Smith.) However, I'm obviously aware some names should be kept as lowercase—but what names? [more inside]
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire on Jan 21, 2015 - 17 answers

Discrimination based on family status

If someone comments on a family member and denies you something based on that, is that likely to be discrimination on the basis of family status? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Jan 18, 2015 - 17 answers

Is there an expectation you'll fly to visit a family member's newborn?

My brother and his wife had their first child recently. In principle, I'd love to meet their newborn. Problem is, we live on opposite coasts of the US and I don't make much money. I could swing it if I had to, but a trip out there just to stand around the little bundle of biology and watch it eat, sleep, and poop doesn't feel like a good value to me. Am I obligated to go? [more inside]
posted by twobit on Jan 18, 2015 - 57 answers

All-Inclusive Vacations in middle America?

I am looking for creative suggestions for places, either conceptually or specifically, where my mother (East Coast) and I (West Coast) can meet up for a long weekend. My basic goal is to spend time with my mother in a setting where each of us can be comfortable and relax: for me this means not having to play tour guide in a city I've never been, and for my mom this means accommodation for some mobility issues. [more inside]
posted by stellaluna on Jan 15, 2015 - 11 answers

Help me make a bad situation not worse

I'm looking for resources about speaking to my father and dealing with my family in light of his recent mental health issues. [more inside]
posted by FakePalindrome on Jan 15, 2015 - 9 answers

How to help an angry 18 yr old.

A few years back I asked this question. Unfortunately my cousin is still struggling and I am very afraid for his future and the rest of his immediate family. A few weeks ago I asked about rehoming a dog. I was finally able to get some help and an organization contacted me saying that they have someone willing to foster the dog. Great! Except that while I was working on it my aunt basically threw up her hands and turned over the dog to my cousin. [more inside]
posted by mokeydraws on Jan 11, 2015 - 11 answers

My sister has invited me to the delivery room, and I don't want to go.

My older sister is having a baby in a couple of months. She has decided she wants the entire immediate family (parents/siblings/sibling spouses) in there. I really would rather not go, but I also don't know if I'm being unreasonable or selfish, and I don't want to push back if this is something that I need to just say, "Okay, you're the one pushing the baby out, you call the shots." [more inside]
posted by socktothepuppet on Jan 7, 2015 - 57 answers

What books should a dying person read?

My father and step-father (both in their seventies) are nearing the end of their lives, and I want to give them books to read in the time they have left. I'm not looking for anything that's necessarily literally on the topic of death, nor anything religious or self-help-ish. I'm looking for books suitable for a person with limited ability to concentrate due to pain/fatigue, that run the gamut from pleasant & not inappropriate, to ones that will provoke reflection and help them come to terms with dying. Please help with your recommendations. [more inside]
posted by Susan PG on Jan 6, 2015 - 23 answers

How to cope with problems conceiving a second child?

My lovely toddler's third birthday is rapidly approaching and I am having a hard time with the fact that I haven't managed to get pregnant again. What might help me feel less blue about the fact that he won't have a sibling 2-3 years younger than him (like I had originally hoped)? [more inside]
posted by brambory on Jan 5, 2015 - 37 answers

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