1821 posts tagged with family.
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My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2015 - 18 answers

I've spent the summer with a 2 year old and now I'm leaving

I've been helping take care of my two year old niece this summer, but now I'm leaving. How can I help her understand this transition and make it easier on her (and her parents, and me)? [more inside]
posted by verbyournouns on Aug 25, 2015 - 7 answers

Help me learn to talk about myself.

I’m really bad at talking about what’s going on in my life with my family, on both the trivial and profound levels. This is really starting to hurt my relationships. Please help me learn how to do it. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Aug 25, 2015 - 12 answers

Why can't I just be happy for her?

How do you control jealousy when someone you love is doing very well and your life is just average? [more inside]
posted by ADent on Aug 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Seeking heartwarming, non-upsetting books

I'm pregnant, and with the hormones, I am in the mood for warm-and-fuzzy books. I can't handle my normal murder mysteries. I'm especially drawn to books about families, people settling in to new communities and coming to feel at home, people creating a home for others, and that sort of thing. Books and audiobooks would be great. [more inside]
posted by slidell on Aug 22, 2015 - 58 answers

Tips to cultivate my relationships w/aging grandpa

Hi All, One of my favorite people is my grandpa. He is in his 80s, living with my aunt and depressed. When i get a job, I will be able to fly and visit him. Until then, anything fun I can do with him over the phone to cheer him up? I am trying to think of a fun "game", something that we can share. He likes golf, so I will goggle Tiger Woods sometimes before we talk to be up on the latest. I am not really sure what I am asking here, but maybe you get it, and might have some fun tips. With others I ask about the highs and lows of the week, but you know he does not have much going on. Maybe I could help him start a project. OK, thanks :)
posted by TRUELOTUS on Aug 21, 2015 - 10 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

Dealing with Elderly parent, and nasty sibling

My dad, after breaking his hip earlier this summer just fell and broke his Femur. He's about to go through surgery again. Help me navigate what to expect for him and the minefields with dealing with difficult family members in this tense and upsetting situation. [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien on Aug 12, 2015 - 20 answers

Help me work out my boundaries and communicate them to my sister

My sister is moving from our home country to my city, where I’ve lived for several years. She appears to expect that she can stay on my sofa indefinitely whilst looking for work. I don’t want this and have tried to push back, but it doesn’t seem to be getting through. Want to set boundaries kindly and consciously. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2015 - 38 answers

Relaxing Vacation a Short Flight from SF Bay Area? Difficulty: Toddler

Our family of three (two adults, one toddler) is trying to plan a vacation for the spring. We have about a week to spend and would prefer a flight less than 4-5 hours but could be convinced to go further for a great destination. We're just having so much trouble narrowing down destinations based on the different interests/needs of our family - please help! [more inside]
posted by mouse noises on Aug 2, 2015 - 11 answers

Am I a horrible person if I don't go to my cousin's wedding?

I'm going to have to go alone to the wedding of my much younger cousin, which will cost me a fortune, and where my newly married former flame will me. Is it really bad if I just make up a white lie and not go? [more inside]
posted by Duchess Sock McPuppeterson on Aug 1, 2015 - 49 answers

Giving the gift of cash

My sister had a baby. My brother and I are giving her a larger-than-normal for our family chunk of cash for her birthday. Please help me write a card that doesn't make me sound superior, or her obligated. [more inside]
posted by rebent on Jul 30, 2015 - 29 answers

How to write a "thanks but no thanks" email in a tense situation

A long time family friend has offered to put in a good word for me at his place of employment. Sweet! The problem: he and my mom were dating. More complications after the fold. [more inside]
posted by rollingdoughnut on Jul 29, 2015 - 27 answers

My Mom and Dad aren't in the fairy tale marriage I thought...

...and it freaks me out! Mom gets snippy and negative with Dad a lot more these days while he tries to sweep it under the rug. My little sister left home last year, and with an empty nest it seems things are changing for them. I'm worried about my parents. More inside. [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Jul 25, 2015 - 31 answers

How can I find legal advice on the other side of the continent?

I am getting divorced and I need a family law lawyer. I live in Vancouver, but it seems that I need to find a Toronto-area lawyer and I'm not sure how best to find one. Friend-of-a-friend recommendations and websites aren't making me feel less nervous. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow on Jul 20, 2015 - 3 answers

new project for family collaboration - tools and tips?

My family has a vacation home, which my mother has managed until now. She has created an LLC in order to turn over the responsibilities to her 3 children and 2 adult grandchildren (all living in same region, within 6-7 hours of the place). What collaborative online space would you recommend for this purpose? If you have experience with such a family project, what tips or suggestions aside from Web collaboration? [more inside]
posted by mmiddle on Jul 20, 2015 - 3 answers

Three body problem: vacation for people from MA, NY, and MD

We are trying to organize a family vacation for a long weekend (August 28-30) of this year. We are three couples with complicated variables and at least one satellite moon. Help us put this together! [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek on Jul 13, 2015 - 13 answers

How do I apologize for mixing friends, family, and business?

I made a mistake. I'm helping my in-laws buy a house, and I introduced them to a long-time friend and Realtor, in the hopes of providing my friend with a reference client, and my in-laws with an extremely trustworthy advisor. At first everyone seemed very happy with this arrangement, but it's gone off the rails. [more inside]
posted by whisk(e)y neat on Jul 13, 2015 - 17 answers

Sending videos to the old folks at home

What device or electronic setup would enable an elderly, non-tech-savvy person to straightforwardly view photos and videos with a minimum of fuss? Difficulty: no wifi, no 4G, no DVD player, no ongoing tech-support access, nursing-home setting with mild theft issues. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Jul 13, 2015 - 9 answers

Brother has anger issues; family pretends it isn't a problem?

My mom brushes off my brother's anger issues. It's detrimental to the family environment but she does not want/has not addressed it. [more inside]
posted by raintree on Jul 13, 2015 - 4 answers

Navigating Parent Wedding Politics

My mother is super-excited about my upcoming wedding. She is driving me crazy. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Jul 8, 2015 - 24 answers

You're family! Just not, you know, my family.

I got married last weekend. Yay! Now I'm trying to navigate my relationship with my husband's stepmother. Boo. [more inside]
posted by ann_disaster on Jun 30, 2015 - 32 answers

Easing away from Al-Anon

My weekly Al-Anon group are all very sweet and I enjoy them a lot, but I also have grown tired of the tedium of the meetings and feel less and less like it's applicable to my life. Seeking a bit of perspective and advice on how to gracefully move forward without burning any bridges. [more inside]
posted by witchen on Jun 24, 2015 - 14 answers

how to change my mindset to enjoy homeschooling my cousin like I used to

I homeschool my cousin once a week after work, and I am starting to resent it. How do I get over this feeling? [more inside]
posted by akita on Jun 23, 2015 - 18 answers

A week in Tokyo: Baby and Toddler edition

For my 40th birthday coming up I've asked for a trip to Tokyo with the family for a week. We previously spent 3 days in Kyoto and loved it, staying at the Hotel Granvia. I'm planning the Tokyo trip and looking for options for accommodation and things to do/see with the kids. [more inside]
posted by Admira on Jun 17, 2015 - 10 answers

Much worse than I thought.

I've kept my distance and set boundaries, but I just learned my family situation is much worse than I ever realized. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2015 - 6 answers

My daughter has cancer

The love of my life has recently been diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. This seemed to come out of nowhere. In the space of a month from one checkup to the next she developed a 2.5 centimeter tumour. I'm lost. [more inside]
posted by malhaley on Jun 17, 2015 - 14 answers

Struggling to Accept

My in-laws bother me and it's making me miserable. [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Jun 14, 2015 - 36 answers

Is it normal that I'm so private with my mother?

This Onion article reflects pretty well my relationship with my mother. I love her very much, but I can rarely bring myself to share much with her about my life, and when I do, I usually regret it. Is this common for men? [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 14, 2015 - 26 answers

Downtown Chicago place to take a family of five for dinner?

I'm meeting some friends for dinner in the Loop Tuesday night and they have three kids ten and under. I need recommendations for a fun place to take them for dinner that is kid-friendly, reasonably priced, interesting, and amenable to conversation. These kids are well-traveled and more adventurous than average, so it doesn't need to be generic and boring, but there should be some hook that will draw them in. Ideas?
posted by DirtyOldTown on Jun 14, 2015 - 8 answers

Out of Town Guests in DC: Dinner for a High Schooler and a Grandpa

My cousin's kid is coming to DC with her grandfather as a high school graduation present. I would like to take them out somewhere for dinner next week, where should I go? [more inside]
posted by forkisbetter on Jun 10, 2015 - 11 answers

How to stop visiting parents so frequently?

Both my parents and parents-in-laws are in the same city. The same city we're in. We feel overwhelmed with the once-a-week visits. How do we mitigate their expectations that we visit so frequently? A storm of culture-specific and special snowflake details follow. [more inside]
posted by spicytunaroll on Jun 10, 2015 - 31 answers

Family vacation in Costa Rica with older kids

Does anyone have any recommendations for great places to stay in Costa Rica for a family with older kids (teens/20s)? [more inside]
posted by feathermeat on Jun 9, 2015 - 4 answers

Poem or quote about heirlooms, family tradition or hand-me-downs?

I am looking for suggestions for a short, sentimental/heartwarming/heartfelt poem or quote about heirlooms, family tradition or hand-me-downs to include on a gift for my grandmother. This is a thank-you gift for letting me wear her wedding dress at my own wedding and a tribute to the family tradition of marriages on the same date. [more inside]
posted by IsItJustMe? on Jun 9, 2015 - 3 answers

Brother in law is moving in and I feel like moving out

My soon to be brother in law will be moving in with my partner and me for 3 months, and for a number of reasons, I am feeling very anxious about this. Looking to hear from others that might have had to deal with living with (difficult) family members, and anything proactive that we could do beforehand to make this living situation bearable. [more inside]
posted by annie_oakley on Jun 9, 2015 - 53 answers

Do I want to interrupt an engineering career to do patent law?

I’m trying to determine if it’s worth it to plan a career change from engineering to patent law, with a lengthy, difficult, expensive stop through law school first. Have you done this? Do you have special insight? [more inside]
posted by rybreadmed on Jun 3, 2015 - 17 answers

How to talk to kids about a parent going to prison?

What are some good guidelines for talking to kids about their parent's upcoming prison term? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 9 answers

How do I manage the mom calls?

I'm an adult. My mom calls nearly every day. Her calls are almost always at least an hour long. This is extremely draining for me. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 37 answers

What do I need to know about future partial inheritance?

I may inherit 1/3 of a large parcel of property with a home on it valued at well over 1 million today (not including all its contents). What do I need to know about this possible future inheritance on this property which is not yet paid off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2015 - 12 answers

How to receive a gift that embarrasses me

My parents are about to give me an embarrassing birthday gift. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Spacing between second and third child?

We have two girls, currently 3.75 and 7. We are seriously considering a third, and hope to time his or her arrival around the time our younger is 5.5. How has a larger space between kids or sets of kids worked for you? Did the younger child or children feel a part of the older one's lives? [more inside]
posted by percor on May 26, 2015 - 30 answers

Family abandon me when I was at my lowest point. Should I cut them off?

My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
posted by TheBronxGirl on May 21, 2015 - 31 answers

What to do about a nasty email sent to the wrong person?

My mentally ill mother likes to send me super mean emails every once in a while, which I don't usually reply to. I just discovered today that she has accidentally been sending emails to a random person with a similar email address to mine. I'm not sure what, if anything, I should do about it. [more inside]
posted by thelaze on May 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Should I ask my uncle about his Big Secret car crash from 50 years ago?

This AskMe from 2010 is me. When I wrote that, I had just heard about a car crash my uncle was allegedly in when he was in his early 20s, where he was driving and a passenger died. I never asked about the crash and a newspaper search didn't pull anything up at the time. But I recently stumbled upon an old newspaper article that confirmed it. I don't know what to do, or not do, with this information. He has never even hinted about anything like this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2015 - 61 answers

Job interviews, no offers and dealing with negative judgment from others

I've been job searching for almost a year. I have had several interviews and have yet to come up with an offer. Family members are starting to assume something is wrong with me. How can I keep plugging while trying to explain it may not be as easy as they think? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on May 19, 2015 - 18 answers

How can I get my roommates to clean up after themselves?

I and my spouse own a three bedroom house, and live there with four roommates, two dogs, and a dismaying number of parakeets. My roommates are generally considerate, and we work around each other as best we can, but they just will. not. clean. without someone directly telling them that it needs to be done. Since I and my spouse have the lowest tolerance for dirt, we end up doing it. Snowflake: my roommates are my adult children and their significant others. [more inside]
posted by underflow on May 16, 2015 - 40 answers

Web tool for collaboratively captioning photos?

I'm editing and typesetting my grandfather's memoir. I have many (over 100) photos of his I digitized now on my computer, but many are missing captions. What site/tool should I use to go through the photos with him? He's quite tech savvy for someone in his 90s, but he also lives across the country and it's hard for him to hear on the phone.
posted by waninggibbon on May 15, 2015 - 4 answers

Not invited to the wedding

My brother-in-law invited my wife and my kids to his wedding, but not me. This evening, he texted my wife asking her to do a reading at the wedding. She's going to say yes. I feel amazingly resentful. Help. [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on May 14, 2015 - 36 answers

Should I apply for a federal job at the same office my MIL works in?

About nine months ago, I applied for a spot with the federal government, which was in line with what I previously did as a paralegal. I got a call back amazingly quickly -- but the hiring manager pointed out that someone with my unusual last name also worked in the office, and it turned out to be my step-mother-in-law. (I knew she did that type of work but I had no idea it was with that agency.) The hiring manager still wanted to interview me. I agreed to set-up an interview during that phone call, talked it over with my husband, and, the next day, emailed the hiring manager and said I was withdrawing my candidacy, to avoid the perception of impropriety. And then snowflakes fell. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by coast99 on May 8, 2015 - 9 answers

Long car rides and family get-togethers

I've planned a day-long road trip to spend about a week at my cousin's farm. My husband and I with our 4-1/2 year old daughter are planning to drive 10 hours to get out there. We'll stay a week. My mother lives another 4 hours from where we'll be staying. We decided not to tack on a trip out to see her and so she invited herself on our trip. I'm of two minds about this. [more inside]
posted by amanda on May 5, 2015 - 9 answers

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