1977 posts tagged with family.
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How can we make our wedding a communal event?

The best weddings (to me/us) seem to be the ones where the couple's tribe is invited to participate in some way. We'd love ideas for how to make this happen. [more inside]
posted by brynna on Aug 24, 2016 - 31 answers

Please help me reach out to my niece and nephews

My brother and his wife are divorcing. While I think that's probably for the best, the way they are going about it is not good. I would like to send my niece (12) and nephews (9 and 6) a letter or small something to let them know that they are loved. But I'm terrible at this sort of thing. What should I send? What should I say? [more inside]
posted by banjonaut on Aug 23, 2016 - 16 answers

Near, far, wherever you are: parental proximity

Geographic distance from my parents will not be the only factor I'll weigh when deciding where next to live, but it will be one of them. How might distance affect my relationship with my parents? How has it, in your own experience? What changes as I zoom out from living in the same city, to the same metro area, or to merely the same coast? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Aug 22, 2016 - 18 answers

Family Soap Opera

What are the best ways to respond when family members are being mean to each other in the name of love? [more inside]
posted by miles1972 on Aug 17, 2016 - 12 answers

Will my in-laws to be ever like me?

My in-laws to be don't like me and never have. I would very much like to have cordial relations with them. After 3 years, however, neither my fiancee nor I are sure they will ever accept me. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 15, 2016 - 44 answers

How normal were these childhood experiences for the 1980's-mid 90's?

If you have a sense of "normal" middle-class family dynamics in the the 1980's-mid 90's US, I would appreciate your perspective. I don't think my family was abusive, but probably emotionally neglectful. I'm struggling with depression and anxiety, am in therapy, and I am considering going no-contact with my family. I want to better understand the context of some experiences. Please help me calibrate my dysfunctionometer. [more inside]
posted by asynchronous on Aug 11, 2016 - 29 answers

Advice for long road trip with baby and young child?

Please help me and my sweet, innocent children survive a 2-day road trip. Kids are ages about one and preschool age. We will be staying with family as well, so any advice for navigating a potentially dealing with the usual type of slightly obnoxious in-law difficulties is also welcome. How do you make time for yourself or find time to relax during stressful family visits? Is that even possible? Posting anonymously because spouse sometimes read mefi and I prefer they don't know exactly how much I'm dreading this trip. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2016 - 13 answers

Is spending money on a large wedding worth it?

We just got engaged and are now in the research/planning process for our wedding. We are considering many options, from destination wedding (not likely, but in the running), large local wedding, small local wedding, or anything in between. The question that keeps popping up is: Is spending a huge chunk of money on our wedding worth it? [more inside]
posted by brynna on Aug 8, 2016 - 74 answers

How can I help keep my delusional, elderly parent off the streets?

I am the sole support person for one of my parents. They have no contact with any family members or past friends. In general, my parent is friendly and decent; however, they keep fleeing and/or being kicked out of housing due to their paranoid delusions. How can I help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2016 - 9 answers

Positive outcomes for kids when there's sexual abuse?

I'm curious about how, in real life, one deals with a situation where someone is molesting or abusing a child. Commonly, the perpetrator is within the family or friend group – a father, an uncle, a sibling or cousin, a friend of the family. In these situations where you have family ties, what kind of response actually makes the situation better? I'm interested in both concrete steps that can be taken as well as what kind of outcomes would be expected. [Trigger Warning] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 17 answers

Moving back to my hometown - can I help my brother get out of a rut?

My brother is generally a caring, generous, talented, and thoughtful guy. He is also almost the definition of "stuck in a rut" - partially due to bad luck (recession), but probably more due to impulsive/emotional behavior - moodiness, impulse buys, little white lies, throwing his smartphone when angry, got a DUI not long ago, etc. It's hard to watch because he works hard (if very disorganized), is at times brilliantly self-aware. But can't seem to find his footing, and still lives with my parents. [more inside]
posted by puppet_made_of_sock on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

Family and Politics

How do I convince my stepfather that Hillary Clinton is not actually an evil, "ice queen", and might be worth giving a second chance? [more inside]
posted by madelf on Jul 31, 2016 - 27 answers

Me vs. My husband's family

I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Jul 30, 2016 - 55 answers

Good psychiatric hospital in Florida?

How can I find an inpatient schizophrenia program that will treat my brother like a human being? [more inside]
posted by grokfest on Jul 29, 2016 - 6 answers

Feeling confused about family tension

My parents devote a lot of time and travel to seeing my younger sister's family, and very little to seeing mine. I'm feeling resentful and confused over how unbalanced everything seems. I want my parents to be actively involved in the future of my immediate family, but it feels like we're always going to get table scraps of the time and attention that they give to my sister's family. Do I even have a right to be upset about this? How can I talk about it with them? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Jul 28, 2016 - 23 answers

how can I text my daughter from my phone to her I-pod touch?

Hi, My daughter has an I-pod Touch and I have an I-phone 6. I understand that we cannot facetime each other, because we are on "family share" and we have the same e-mail address when we sign into our phone. She is not yet 13. [more inside]
posted by lynnie-the-pooh on Jul 26, 2016 - 13 answers

Best scanner for copious quantities of paper photo snapshots.

I need the best scanner to process thousands of 3 1/2" by 3 1/2" family snap shots. Money is no object. [more inside]
posted by cda on Jul 24, 2016 - 9 answers

Saving for a big trip - mattress or savings account or what?

There are early rumblings that my cousins might start planning our next family reunion (an every four years thing) in Italy for summer 2018. How can I best start saving now to make this a possibility for me, a person of modest means? [more inside]
posted by pantarei70 on Jul 23, 2016 - 12 answers

i have brain cancer and no one to care for me

How do I have cancer alone? [more inside]
posted by hollisimo on Jul 21, 2016 - 30 answers

Methods to build self-esteem in troubled mother?

How do I help to build self-esteem in my "crazy" (bipolar, BPD), overweight, aging, and unsuccessful mother, who lives in a small town with not much in the way of community, and who refuses to seek medical treatment for her mental health and physical issues? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Jul 20, 2016 - 25 answers

How to keep it together when no one else is?

With a family in crisis, how do you keep yourself together while everyone else seems to be falling apart? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2016 - 5 answers

Should i unblock my family? If so, when?

I bought my entire family (4 people) and boyfriend tickets to an expensive 90 min show as a birthday gift ($80 each), sent them all reminders of date and time, and everyone except my boyfriend as 40 mins late despite me calling and reminding them (they all traveled together). They gave weak apologies, with my mom taking the blame but I'm absolutely livid at them, so I blocked them all from calling me. Is this too extreme? [more inside]
posted by soooo on Jul 17, 2016 - 40 answers

Life Lost

How I see myself has changed forever, since my dad passed away unnaturally. I don't feel like I deserve goodness. I am sure my relatives, his siblings may feel that way too. How to deal with this gruesome grief? [more inside]
posted by daveg02 on Jul 12, 2016 - 10 answers

Go West Young One (and even younger one)

Looking for some advice on where to go for a family vacation in Colorado. [more inside]
posted by limagringo on Jul 12, 2016 - 4 answers

Visiting relatives who have guns when you have a toddler

Extended family that I visit (I'm in Canada) and stay with a few times a year have started the application for a "pistol permit" in New York state. I have a toddler who's never met a button that he didn't press or a latch he didn't fiddle with. I know it's unlikely a gun would be accessible during a visit but I've seen the statistics. My gut reaction is to not visit anyone who has a gun (maybe having one locked in a gun safe would be ok) but I don't know if that is excessive. They are buying the gun "for protection" so I am assuming it will be carried and I want to get a handle on my feelings before I discuss it with them. Have you been in this situation? How did you manage it?
posted by betsybetsy on Jul 11, 2016 - 30 answers

Have I been emotionally abused? If so, how do I begin to recover?

I've admitted my father may be kind of a monster. Is he really, or is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2016 - 33 answers

How do we approach financially supporting a parent?

My husband's parents are divorcing and they are in their 60s. His mother has had ill health over the last 20 years and some mental health issues. The divorce has sent their finances into some disarray but they have not been open with us about the particulars. Now his mother is starting to ask for financial help – small things like splitting airfare for her to come visit. But she's also apparently enlisted his sister to buy presents on her behalf for the kids/extended family and then sent checks that bounce. My husband is very anxious about needing to financially support his mother but I don't like this gradual slide into support especially since we do not have a lot of extra money. [more inside]
posted by amanda on Jul 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Where next for mind-broadening global family travel?

Our family has taken and vastly enjoyed a couple of international trips (#1=Amsterdam/Brussels/Paris, #2=Hong Kong) during our boys' Spring Break school vacation windows, but we are really flailing and struggling to decide where to target for our next window of opportunity in late March 2017. Location(s) must alter the global perspective of 13- and 10-year-old boys! Boundary conditions: date range March 24~April 3, reasonably accessible from US west coast, safe, delicious food, can get by with English and/or limited French. Bonus points inside... [more inside]
posted by rodeoclown on Jul 5, 2016 - 23 answers

My parents love me, but don't particularly like me

My parents definitely love me, and would reliably do anything for me, no question about it-- but I've always gotten the sense that they don't generally "like" me as a person. I've always kind of felt like the "problem child," even though I'm not trying to get in their way and by most metrics am an all-around "good" kid. Why do I feel this way? Is this even a problem? How can I go about ironing this out? [more inside]
posted by fernweh on Jul 2, 2016 - 34 answers

Anxiety in mother

My mother has always been a high level worrier but as years pass her anxieties are posing limits on her and my father. She's not been receptive to discussion of this in the past. Is there a way to broach this with her and possibly help her get the help she needs to live a more enjoyable and less restricted life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2016 - 11 answers

How to disengage from a narcissistic, manipulative mother-in-law?

My mother-in-law is a classic narcissist. I've known her since the mid-nineties, and she has always gone after me with offensive little comments and digs. If I objected she would say something along the lines of "I'm sorry you took it the wrong way," "You're just being oversensitive," or "I shouldn't have to watch what I have to say." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2016 - 45 answers

How do I shut down offensive conversations with friends and family?

This isn't a unique problem, but I need help dealing with it. When family and friends engage in political (or not) conversation that veer into racist/sexist/bigoted tropes, how can I shut down the conversation quickly? I don't want to engage in a debate, but I also don't want them to casually rely on old, offensive tropes around me. [more inside]
posted by sock potato on Jun 24, 2016 - 18 answers

I want to write a family history book but MS Word isn't cutting it...

I have 30 years of family history research, documentation, photos, interviews, notes - I also have a bunch of info between my ears that I never got around to writing down. Funds are tight right now, so paying someone to write a book for me isn't going to happen. I need recommendations (as in, you've done this) for software, open source is best, which will help me organize and publish my family history as an ebook, with the option to pay a publisher some day for hard copies.
posted by brownrd on Jun 20, 2016 - 23 answers

How to entertain my in-laws without going nuts

My husband's parents are coming to visit us in Denver next week and due to physical and mental issues we are a little stumped on how to entertain them while they are here. This is not necessarily a question specific to the Denver region! [more inside]
posted by GoldenEel on Jun 20, 2016 - 35 answers

Foolproof family video chats direct to TV?

My elderly relatives live far away, and I would like to find a way to set up a completely foolproof video chat solution. We use skype and facetime, but they don't like crowding together on the couch, their computer doesn't have a great screen, and their lighting is really poor. They are not terrible with technology, but the solution needs to be really simple. [more inside]
posted by RobotNinja on Jun 18, 2016 - 5 answers

Not enthused about sibling's engagement. What to say?

My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend of ~1 year. Red flags have gone off at every turn in his rapidly-progressing relationship with her. Yesterday, he sent a message to me and my parents announcing his intentions to propose, and then it happened before I got a chance to talk with him. My question is, how do I respond to him? More details and a TWIST! inside. [more inside]
posted by Slater Sheldahl on Jun 13, 2016 - 61 answers

Where in the Southern hemisphere would you take a 10-month old baby?

Boyfriend and I are planning on taking our (blessedly low-maintenance so far) will-be-10-month old on an international family vacation come Thanksgiving, for about 16 days. We are well-traveled, but newbie parent-travelers. Which is the most practical country(ies) within Africa/ South America/ Oceania with regard to experiencing much of what the region has to offer, in which to travel with a baby? I hope I'm asking the right questions in my post below. [more inside]
posted by Everydayville on Jun 13, 2016 - 7 answers

How to get help for brother who seems depressed?

My brother seems depressed - how do I suggest he get help? [more inside]
posted by thelivingsea on Jun 12, 2016 - 5 answers

The Intersectional Feminist Name Game

Are there questions about race and culture that my fiancé and I should be asking ourselves as we figure out the answer to the dreaded Last Name Issue? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Jun 10, 2016 - 52 answers

I need money for a divorce attorney. Ideas?

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Yay. Except... my wife moved out four months ago, leaving me financially destitute and destabilizing my existence. I need to hire a divorce attorney to protect my rights, but don't know where to get the money. Maybe you are clever enough to help. [more inside]
posted by tacodave on Jun 6, 2016 - 17 answers

So Much Anger-Don't Know What To Do

For the single year that my brother was alive, my Dad ran off and left our family. Now my Dad insists on sending the family notices on the anniversary of my brother's death. This is so painful, how can I make it stop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2016 - 36 answers

Genealogy Sites?

It's been a few years since this question has been asked, and I know things have changed since then. There's so much info out there on the various genealogy sites, and I'm not sure what to do. Right now I have free trials with MyHeritage and Geni, but apparently a relative has done a lot of research into a certain branch of my family on Ancestry.com. I'm looking for insight on which to pick in terms of price and usefulness, etc.
posted by trillian on May 29, 2016 - 10 answers

Dividing family heirlooms (animosity edition)

What is a fair way to divide family heirlooms with cousins? There was a long-term estrangement with these cousins, and we have tried to make the best of being stuck making decisions with them regarding the care of the person who owns the heirlooms (and is now in a nursing home with dementia and unable to make decisions), but it hasn't worked out really well. Now we are supposed to meet to split things up. Is there any way to make this more fair/easier? More inside. [more inside]
posted by FencingGal on May 26, 2016 - 25 answers

A Macho, Macho....compassionate man?

For Reasons, I need examples of stereotypically "macho", successful, "strong" men throughout history (or modern!) who also exhibited and or/talked about having compassion for others. Bonus points if they engaged in documented "sensitive" behavior to their family or friends. [more inside]
posted by corb on May 25, 2016 - 26 answers

Resources for parenting defiant young teen

My family is in crisis. My son is 13 and in 7th grade. He's generally responsible but lately has been pushing boundaries. He lost his phone (to us) following poor behavior recently. Things have escalated. We have a family therapist, but she's booked up for months, and I am waiting to hear back from her via email. I need to know what my resources are because my family needs help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 24, 2016 - 49 answers

Help me manage wedding drama before it becomes wedding drama

My partner proposed to me yesterday! Hooray! We will be planning a very small wedding (under 20 guests). Here's the thing: neither of us like the woman my brother is dating. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2016 - 15 answers

Seeking diversity in family movies

Appropriate for elementary school age kids. Looking to expand our repertoire of movies that feature families with same sex relationships, racial diversity, disabilities visible or not. This does not need to be the focus of the movie, just present.
posted by loopsun on May 22, 2016 - 25 answers

My wife is not my granddaughter, I swear!

How to change Facebook settings so Facebook doesn't show my wife as my granddaughter?! [more inside]
posted by terrapin on May 17, 2016 - 23 answers

I think he's been hanging out on Reddit again.

My brother in law, whom I used to like, posted something fairly racist on Facebook today, on the topic of white privilege. I'm looking for suggestions on how to respond to him that would be educational while not making him completely tune me out. [more inside]
posted by anastasiav on May 15, 2016 - 11 answers

does being put on probation at work mean you're going to get fired?

HR people of Metafilter: my brother has been having trouble at work and had a meeting with HR yesterday where he was put on probation. I’m trying to understand the situation better. Is probation usually just the final formal step a company has to go through before firing someone? Is it possible to be put on probation and still keep your job? [more inside]
posted by colfax on May 8, 2016 - 25 answers

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