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Sexist dog? Protective dog? Traumatized dog?

Does a dog's behavior against his owner--in only about 50% of circumstances--warrant concern? The answers in this ask were helpful, particularly this one (there is much of item #3 that happens during play). But what I want to know is whether his dog's behavior around step-brother + a female might point to something from his past. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Jul 8, 2014 - 11 answers

Doggy Daycare/Boarding Hours of Operation

Is opening a dog daycare/boarding open 6 days a week weird? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jul 5, 2014 - 19 answers

Family suicide complicated by lack of communication: is it ADHD?

My husband’s cousin recently killed himself. The sadness we feel is colored by intense anger at my husband’s mother, who never communicated what was going on with the cousin - or that he had moved to a city we visit frequently. Could "forgetting" to mention or misrepresenting major family information/news be a byproduct of ADHD? Yes, there's more inside... [more inside]
posted by mitschlag on Jul 3, 2014 - 38 answers

Lost and found: half sibling edition

I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 3, 2014 - 32 answers

How to support family dealing with cancer, non-sartorially

My cousin's kid was born with cancer. A friend of theirs started a website where one can buy a t-shirt to show support for the family. This seems a little odd. Should I buy a t-shirt or do something differently to show love and support for the family? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Jul 1, 2014 - 25 answers

Sibling weddings cannot be in same month, even in different years?

I have two brothers-in-law, my husband's younger siblings. Both of them are getting married. The older of the two, who we'll call Brother A, has been planning his wedding for a while. His fiancé and he have been dating for a few years and are planning a traditional wedding for next year in August. The younger, Brother B, is getting married ASAP to a girlfriend he has only been dating briefly, for well... the classic reason for getting married in a hurry. They also want to get married in August, of this year. Brother A says that's "his" month. Is that even a thing? [more inside]
posted by Comrade Doll on Jun 30, 2014 - 53 answers

Need some of that quiet confidence.

I've been dating a great person for about 4 months. She's really outgoing, charming, attractive, and funny, and people just love her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2014 - 20 answers

Inviting only *some* family to our wedding?

We’re in the very earliest stages of wedding planning, trying to come up with a guest list so that we have approximate numbers in mind when we look into venues, etc. How can - or should - we balance a seriously lopsided family tree with our desire to have our friends there (and not go bankrupt/remain engaged forever)? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Austenite on Jun 24, 2014 - 47 answers

Just because they share half their DNA....

Should I help my daughter connect with her half-sister? Or more precisely, should I help my daughter's half-sister connect with her? [more inside]
posted by marionett gjorda av strumpor on Jun 19, 2014 - 22 answers

Whitewashing a sociopath's actions

My BIL is a sociopath. We don't deal with him. But the parents still do. Therein lies the problem... [more inside]
posted by lost_lettuce on Jun 18, 2014 - 24 answers

How do you deal with family-in-law that's in a cult?

Short version: my fiancé's family is involved in a cult. He left the cult while in college, but they don't know. Most people don't know, except me and a few other friends. He hasn't told his family that he left, and he says he never will. My question is, what do we do when/if they want us to be more involved in their lives, without either getting involved in the cult or letting it slip that we're not part of it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2014 - 43 answers

Never in my life did I think my son share/split...the restaurant tab

Indians of me-fi: is it commonly accepted etiquette that splitting a restaurant bill with Indian parents is an insult? [more inside]
posted by ovenmitt on Jun 14, 2014 - 32 answers

Web developer salaries: help me distinguish hyperbole from reality

I'm considering a career change into web development and I'm hoping AskMe can help me sort through the abundance of relevant information and get a sense of what reasonable expectations might be. To put it succinctly, I'd like to make about $75-80k a year so that I can support my parents while still being able to save money for my own future. Is it probable for a self-taught developer to earn a salary in this range? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2014 - 9 answers

Economical Vehicle for 8?

I need to find a safe vehicle that can seat a family of 8 comfortably and still have enough room to haul backpacks and school sports equipment. [more inside]
posted by bleucube on Jun 10, 2014 - 11 answers

Great lenguage irrelevat activities?

My wife is finally going to meet my family. Problem, they don't speak English, She doesn't speak Russian. What are good non speech dependent fun activities we can all do? [more inside]
posted by Sentus on Jun 9, 2014 - 28 answers

Introductory sources on biological classification

I'm beginning a project that looks partly at biological classification, primarily in western science. I have no background in this, and so I'm digging around. I'm interested to know more about the current rules for nomenclature, and also to know more about historical, philosophical, sociological, knowledge practice, ethnographic, anthropological, science technology and society (STS), sociotechnical, etc., approaches to the study of biological classification. I'll take monographs, articles, papers, web sites, etc. I have access to a university library. What are some good sources that can introduce me to this? Many thanks!
posted by carter on Jun 9, 2014 - 13 answers

My 2-year-old niece is battling cancer. What can I say to be supportive?

I have been with my partner for over 5 years and know his family fairly well. A little over a year ago his brother's one year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. His daughter, whom I consider as a niece even though my partner and I are not married, has now been battling cancer for over a year. It appears to be quite aggressive. When my sister-in-law calls to give me updates about their daughter's condition (or vice-versa), what can I say to be supportive and express that I care? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Jun 5, 2014 - 17 answers

Memorial for family member planned while I'm away working

Someone in my extended family passed away. Her only child just told me that he'd like to plan a memorial for a future date while other relatives are in town. He and I were very close growing up, have somewhat drifted, but lately have been in one another's lives again. His mom was his only immediate family member. I already know I'm scheduled to be away from home working for three weeks at that time. Do I cancel, or proceed? [more inside]
posted by BestCoaster on Jun 3, 2014 - 11 answers

Taking on more hours with a baby on the way

I've been offered a job I'd like, but the hours are longer and there's a commute, and we're expecting a baby. Would I be crazy to take it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2014 - 25 answers

My brother seems to have some sort of deep seated issue with me.

My brother (four years younger than me, we are both in our 30s and single, I am a woman) and I have had a back and forth relationship - it was normal brother/sister stuff - fighting and whatnot but nothing crazy - until I went to college, when we were super close. Then when I graduated college, he started and dropped out and went to community college and finally graduated after 7 years, and is actually doing really well as a banker, though he's between jobs now. Our relationship deteriorated rapidly after I graduated college though, because he had a big issue with drinking and was living with our parents and using them, I thought. That was a long time ago, and I've tried really hard to see where he's coming from and I thought our relationship had improved, but now new issues have come up... (wall of text inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2014 - 35 answers

Misophonia with brother-in-law

My sister has a very nice husband who is a loud and emphatic chewer, who smacks his lips and says "mmmmm" upon putting anything in his mouth ever, and who always seems to be eating or drinking something he wants to share the experience of (I recognize this is not actually true, but it feels true). I have mild misophonia that centers around chewing sounds, and kind of want to throttle him or myself when this happens. I love my sister and her kid and even this guy when he's not having these table manners, but I find it really unpleasant to be around him during those times and it's very hard for me to actually enjoy a meal when we're eating it together. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Need to cross a minivan with a Prius (or vice versa)

Just discovered that our next car purchase needs to happen this summer, so I've gotta get into research mode stat. Is there such a thing as a family car (ie kid transporter etc) with great city gas mileage? Special snowtires inside. [more inside]
posted by sesquipedalia on May 30, 2014 - 20 answers

East coast vacation spots for the 10 to 78 set?

Do you know a great place near New York City for three generations of family to vacation for three to five days this summer? [more inside]
posted by snorkmaiden on May 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Do I reach out to someone I've hurt but doesn't want contact from me?

Would it be upsetting to have someone who wronged you--really, really, really wronged you--to contact you out of the blue to apologize? Over a decade ago I was a stupid, histrionic, selfish, needy and endless pit of WANT and ME-ME-ME kind of a person. I alienated everyone I knew and ended up moving away from my hometown. It took me a long time but I grew up and I realize how terrible I was then. Now I want to apologize to some people I wronged. Is it out of line for me to send a letter when I was asked to make no further contact over a decade ago? I don't deserve or desire a reconciliation but I do want to apologize and thank them for putting up with me--instead of just being a destructive person, I'm sure I would have ended up a dead person had it not been for them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 56 answers

a black sheep by my own design

How can I be gracious, kind, and supportive when I feel like a fuck-up compared to the rest of my family, particularly my younger sister? Messy wall of text below. [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on May 28, 2014 - 18 answers

Little brother is racist, but I'm a bitch

My brother did something racist that offended me, but when I spoke up against it, I'm the family bitch. How can I talk to my family so that they understand this? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on May 28, 2014 - 36 answers

How do I insure a newborn on short notice?

We just found out the baby we're having any day now is probably not eligible for medical care at birth on her mother's insurance plan. Help! [more inside]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis on May 22, 2014 - 17 answers

Obtaining consent before posting family photos to social media?

Am I wrong to want for my 25-year-old sister to get consent before posting photos of our family to >900 followers on social media sites (including Facebook and Instagram)? I feel annoyed by the Pinterest-perfect ideal of our family life that she's selling, and like my privacy is being violated in a big way. We're currently arguing about this and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable, or if there's a better/more productive script I can follow so that we might actually resolve the conflict. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on May 22, 2014 - 41 answers

Career Direction and Making a Move

Settle further into a career I feel "meh" about in order to move to a desired location, or stay put and keep hoping for a "dream" career that has been so far unreachable? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on May 22, 2014 - 6 answers

What to do when a family member is offensive, but you love them, anyway?

A beloved family member was unexpectedly (and likely unintentionally) racist. We called her out on it. She didn't react well. What to do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 42 answers

Found my grandfather's birth family. Now what?

In the process of helping post my late grandfather's digitized papers online, I found his adoption paperwork (he made no secret of being adopted, but didn't talk about it much). It gave enough information that I was able to find that my grandfather had a brother, who apparently is still alive. I'm not sure what to do next; it's good to know there's more family out there (my father has few living relatives), but I'm not sure how happy others in my family will be with the reality, and the same may go for my grandfather's newly-discovered relatives. Advice would be helpful; details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 7 answers

Ghost in the brain

Based on my dysfunctional upbringing, it finally occurred to me that a lot my anxiety comes from being concerned that I will get "in trouble" a disproportionate amount for doing something that I didn't know was so wrong as to be deserving of the punishment. I have just recently started therapy again and will certainly bring this up, but I'm sure some of you will have some advice for me. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on May 15, 2014 - 15 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

Communication Resources for Children of Narcissistic Parents

My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
posted by rhiannonstone on May 14, 2014 - 8 answers

Familly Politics and Pregnancy - What's the Right Thing to Do?

My sister is pregnant (YAY!). Sister doesn't talk to my aunt but said I could tell aunt that she is pregnant. Aunt would be thrilled to find out. Do I keep my mouth shut? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on May 12, 2014 - 19 answers

suicidal ex speaks incoherently, needlessly names me- do I warn his dad?

My suicidal ex bumped into A, an acquaintance of mine, a few days ago and, according to A who later contacted me to warn me about it, he talked strangely, incoherently, in an evidently sick way and mentioned my complete name several times for no apparent reason. As when I last heard him (to tell him to stop calling me), three weeks before this, he seemed to be in a fairly good mental state, I am now debating calling his family to let them know about it. Should I do it or would it be out of place and maybe even open up a can of worms I've barely managed to close? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on May 12, 2014 - 23 answers

How do I handle two siblings ganging up on me? Fun fact: they're 30.

My two older siblings and brother-in-law are beyond irritated with me when all I've been doing is minding my own business and forging my path into adulthood. They are never short of criticisms and any attempts at satisfying them are futile. Things got way out of hand this weekend to the point I am either ousted from future family functions or there will be an awkward vibe/fake niceness. [more inside]
posted by HiphopAnonymous on May 12, 2014 - 34 answers

What is this (probably) Lithuanian last name supposed to be?

I need help deciphering a last name in a 1914 birth record. It sounds Lithuanian, but I think it is spelled worng, because I can't find anyone else with that name...ever. [more inside]
posted by Biblio on May 12, 2014 - 19 answers

Literary equivalent of Bob's Burgers?

What are some novels in the same vein as Bob's Burgers, which is to say: funny stories about quirky families that have a foundation of love and positivity?
posted by bluecore on May 10, 2014 - 13 answers

How to find death information for deceased family members?

I have deceased family members who came to America a few decades ago and died, but would not have been on Social Security rolls. A living family member wants me to find out where they are buried. How to do this? [more inside]
posted by corb on May 6, 2014 - 13 answers

Help my roommate and I find a fair and reasonable solution

Her sister is coming to stay with us for (??) weeks, how do I protect my boundaries [more inside]
posted by winterportage on May 6, 2014 - 22 answers

Sister with persecution complex. How to deal with it?

Sister's behaviour since my father passed away is creating too much stress. [more inside]
posted by noella on May 6, 2014 - 16 answers

Give up financial stability to move where you'd prefer to be?

My heart says one thing, but my head says another, and I am paralyzed in making any kind of decision. I need help, thoughts, opinions, anything. [more inside]
posted by umwhat on Apr 30, 2014 - 44 answers

I am not bound to please thee with my answers...when it comes to career.

I graduated college last year with a degree in the science field. I have long had a passing interest in the healthcare field, and have had familial pressure to "become a doctor" even longer. It goes without saying that I decided to take an entry-level job related to healthcare. However, the more I see of healthcare, the less I like what I see, and the more I am reconsidering my future plans. The sources of the familial pressure, in turn, are getting more aggressive. (See inside.) [more inside]
posted by Seeking Direction on Apr 27, 2014 - 27 answers

Is it a good idea to live next door to a sibling?

My brother and I have the opportunity to buy two houses next to each other. We like each other. Is this a great idea or a terrible one? [more inside]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm on Apr 24, 2014 - 37 answers

should I attend estranged sister's babyshower?

Today I got a message from my brother inviting me to our older sister's baby shower on Sunday and saying that she would really like me to come. I'm torn about attending because ...well, my sister didn't actually invite me. It's at her place so obviously it's not a surprise shower. Instead she relied on our brother to do it. [more inside]
posted by mariisoul on Apr 19, 2014 - 27 answers

Trying to organize the family archive box...

Mu aunt has agreed to store all my grandpa's old photos and documents, if someone else can 'do something with it' first. That someone is me. Where do I start? [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Apr 18, 2014 - 7 answers

My 75 year old father will be moving in with us.

What are the logistics of having a parent in so-so to mediocre health move in? He is currently in St. Louis, MO and my wife and I currently live in Johnson City, TN. [more inside]
posted by Groundhog Week on Apr 18, 2014 - 10 answers

how do i stop my parents dictating my life?

How do I keep my parents from being quite so upset, angry and unreasonable, while retaining control over my wedding, marriage and life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 22 answers

How to combat mental shutdown triggered by feelings of inadequacy.

So this will usually be in a family setting. I live quite far away from most members of my family (brothers, cousins etc). I look forward to seeing them but when I do something happens. For the first few hours everything is great, I'm happy to see them. We're getting on great. Then slowly but surely I start to feel that my life is inadequate, and that I am inadequate. Witty responses become sarcastic putdowns and insults. I feel like I'm taking things the wrong way. My own capacity for conversation and fun becomes subdued and almost entirely non-existent. I overthink every word. I feel completely mentally drained. And I wish they would leave as soon as possible! I know I was happy before the visit or stay. I know I never felt inadequate with any of my friends or work colleagues. But I feel really bad that I feel this way and I feel even worse in the actual situation. [more inside]
posted by razzman on Apr 16, 2014 - 11 answers

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