Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with faith

Book explaining Islam?

edbyford — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:10:41 -0800

What's the best book for obtaining an overview of Islam (and its attitudes towards 'Western' culture)? My girlfriend has recently been reading a book about Muslims and the effects of their westward migration. It's sparked some really interesting debates between us, but I do think that the book she's reading is a little one-sided.

The book in question is Hurra, wir kapitulieren! (my girlfriend is German). The main argument of the author seems to be that we in the west compromise our ideals to suit Islamic beliefs (he cites a German orchestra who had to make their women wear burqas for a concert in Iran) but that Muslims would not compromise theirs if put in a similar situation. He also seems to assert that no Muslim leaders have denounced terrorist attacks. I am not posting this here to incite a discussion, rather to give you an idea of what issues the book raises.

For Christmas I would like to give my girlfriend a better, more balanced book, which could act as counterpoint to the above.

Any suggestions? It would be great if the book were in German (as this makes it less stressful for my gf to read) but all suggestions are gratefully received.

Letting go of God: Help me deal with my atheism and the five stages of grief. I'm in the fourth stage now.

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:57:30 -0800

Please give advice on how to accept my atheism, let go of God and the need for one, how to get over the fourth stage of grief/letting go (depression), and how to find my passion for life again! Hello, hivemind.

I'm from a totally Bible-banging family (Creationists, End Timers, warped-Republicans, sexist, homophobic and a little racist). I haven't been a Christian for going on six years now, ever since I read the Bible all the way through and decided it was a total piece of junk filled with violence and hatred toward other faiths, women, etc. I know I don't believe in the Christian God, or, it seems, any religion or philosophy akin to it (no, not even Buddhism), as I have read many religious texts, apologetics and more besides and just don't feel there's any evidence for any of it. Simply put, I appear to be an atheist...at least as far as labels go.

The unfortunate thing is that I'm not handling this too well, and it has recently occurred to me that I have been going through what can best be identified as the five stages of grief, which just annoys me to no end! (I'd just like to get on with my life!) The whole not believing in God/gods thing has really been like a death in the family, so to speak...it's frustrating and painful. I'm specifically not having what I would consider healthy reactions to my lack of faith, which is a major reason that I've chosen to post this, rather than just rely on the great advice that I could find in similar questions from the past.

Maybe I should first talk about the five stages.

For one year, I was in denial. Even though I didn't believe in God, I continued to say that I did and tried to push through. I came up with lots of excuses as to why my doubts were happening. I read a lot of Christian apologetics that I didn't agree with in that time, in an attempt to act like things were okay with me and the Big Aggressive Creator in the Sky. I even avoided competing ideas. I prayed lots. I lived as closely to the Bible as I could, without totally ripping myself of my own thoughts regarding ethics and morality.

That didn't work, and I ended up getting angry. I was angry at the concept of God, angry that I couldn't seem to believe in it and angry that I had believed in what I felt was myth. I was angry at my family for bringing me up in extremism, as well as at all the borderline-abusive things they did in God's name, all the things they kept me from, because they were "of the devil". I was angry that I couldn't have lived "normally, like most people", in either moderate faith or no faith. In a weird sort of way, I was even angry that I was having to think about any of it. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to go back to the blind faith I'd had or bypass all of it, but I was angry that the issue had cropped up. I read everything I could get my hands on at this time, be it scientific or religious. I feel like I read more during this time than any other time of my life. I wanted to learn, so I could actually form my own opinions.

Another six months to a year passed, and bargaining began. I tried to live some form of very mild Christianity to agnosticism (Jesus was a good man; the Bible's a good "moral" text), thinking, "If I just do this, it will be the best of both worlds. I won't have any more problems. Things can work out this way." The idea was that I could still keep up with a religious community, be everyone's friend, etc. The reality, however, was that I began to identify less and less with Christians/Christianity/more religious people on the whole, with only a few exceptions, and that more of my friends slowly but surely ended up being agnostic, all the way to militant atheists. Not trying to step on any Mefi toes, but to be honest, the agnostics/atheists in my life were the only ones who didn't seem to be insecure, lying jerks most of the time, so it seems almost inevitable that things turned out the way they did. (Big disclaimer!!: I know this does not represent all Christians, just my experiences with some of them. I still even have some Christian friends, but not many.) I didn't go searching for my "heathen" friends, but we found each other. We gravitated toward one another, as our core philosophies were now similar. I also found/find myself annoyed by most religious people these days, but I never say/do anything regarding that. I try to accept where possible and be silent, when I feel myself unable. I married a mild-mannered, sugar-sweet atheist guy. My watered-down Christianity turned to full-blown agnosticism around the time I met him, as a result of all these experiences and changes.

I was happy with my agnosticism for a year, to year and a half, but recently I've noticed, as far as labels go, I am more of an atheist. To this very moment, though, I've not said aloud to anyone, not even my husband, that I actually consider myself an atheist. I don't know why the label means as much as it does, other than I know that if religious people dislike me now as an unbeliever, many will hate me as an atheist, even if that's what I most closely identify with... I guess I can't help but not want people to not hate me, even if they're extremist whack jobs. The label means a lot to me, too, though, because I'm really tired of lying about how I feel and think.

This seems to have put me in the fourth stage of grief, depression. I feel sad that I can't buy into the comforting stories I once did, sad that I can't agree with my family as far as faith goes, sad that I'm not accepted by tons of religious people (including family) when they find out I'm an unbeliever (even when I am accepting toward them), sad that I no longer believe in life after death or guiding forces in the universe. I think we are here, we die, and that's it, and that notion depresses me. I don't think there's any evidence to the contrary, however, so I'm bound to it...whether I like it or not. I know we can't know what happens "on the other side", but I highly doubt it's anything spectacular. I highly doubt it's anything at all.

I want to get to the fifth stage of grief, where I accept myself and the death of my religion and faith, but it just seems so impossible at this stage. As said, some of my reactions to my own atheism aren't healthy. For instance, I have lost my passion for a lot of life, which is bad for me in more ways than one, considering I am a professional artist and writer and need to feel and create accordingly. I miss my sense of wonder. I feel wonder at the universe, but it's a head-wonder, not a heart-wonder, like I felt with spirituality. I'll agree with Carl Sagan and my fellow atheists and agnostics that it's amazing to think about how statistically unlikely it is that I'm here, that the planet works the way it does, etc. I'll agree that, because of all these things and my finite time here on earth, I should value every second I have and live it to the fullest, without apology...

But I can't seem to...

I am amazed by the world, but that doesn't drive me. In fact, it's all the opposite. It makes me feel like there's no point. Amazement is just part of it, but it doesn't particularly mean much. I realize that, without "something behind everything", it doesn't matter one iota (speaking from a selfish perspective here) whether I build great things or just sit on my couch and rot, whether I live to be 100 or die tomorrow. It will matter to some, but not to many, and not for long. It's like, what am I trying to prove to anyone or to myself now? How on earth does any of it matter if it's just this tiny bit of time I have? I'd like to help people, and while I realize that while I do touch some people's lives, and that does make me happy, the odds are against my helping a significant number of people in my lifetime, try as I might, so it all feels a little hopeless and pointless still. Death depresses me immensely, and rather than living my life more fully as a result, I just have ended up somewhat stagnant...blahed and mehed out.

Please note that I'm actually not depressed in other areas of my life, just this one. But it does...influence...the other areas, from a foundational perspective, so it definitely needs to be seen to. I think it's affecting more, too, as time goes by. I appreciate the concept of life, but I don't really feel compelled to do much with it now, without the notion of some sort of equilibrium in the universe (carried out by a creator, karma, whatever). I mean, I do what I need to and try my best, but I'm not striving toward things like I once was. Without a reason behind things, so much stuff in the world seems overwhelmingly random and unfair and out of my control. (I think this is one of the reasons there are so many moderate Christians, even. People keep some idea of God, just so they can pray about the things they can't control, to comfort themselves.) I can't even pray about any of it, though, and I think the concept of sending good thoughts toward it all is just as silly. I've tried giving myself rituals, but it just doesn't work. I always feel silly.

So, hivemind, I guess what I want to know, after all my heathen rambling, is how do I peacefully come to accept my lack of faith and not having a god in the world? How do I regain passion for life, despite feeling everything is off balance without a godly figure? I've tried listening and reading some things, like Julia Sweeney's personal story, and while helpful and something I could identify well with, it's never gotten me over the hump. I'd appreciate personal advice, recommendations of what to read/listen to/do...anything, really.

Throw-away email: atheistic.blues@gmail.com

Thanks, guys and gals.

Are the existence of logical paradoxes evidence that logic is not Universal truth?

idyllhands — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 09:54:45 -0800

Are the existence of logical paradoxes evidence that logic is not Universal truth, or simply symptoms of incomplete or inaccurate semantic systems? I.e., if the Universe is infinite, then everything is possible and every possible scenario happens not only at least once, but an infinite number of times. Within this set of "Everything" is the possibility that "Nothing exists." But obviously something does exist, or I wouldn't be writing this and you wouldn't be reading this. One could say the Universe is not infinite, but then what is outside of it? It would be either Something, or Nothing. And if it is Something what is outside of that Something? If it is Nothing, then how can Something exist "within" it when Nothing has no "within." But this digression would be beside the point of this question. There are other paradoxes out there that have no resolution.

The reason I ask this is that I have recently moved from a "liberal" college town in my state to a rural "conservative" area for a job. I am surrounded by people who easily accept religion as an answer to questions such as this, and am attempting to separate my belief in Logic from their belief in God, and keep coming to holes in my system of thinking which require blind faith, and am trying to reconcile these holes so that my faith in Logic is founded rather than blind.

Please, no responses that I should find God =)

Help me find a vibrant Protestant church in the Cleveland area. I'm between denominations.

debbie_ann — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:54:45 -0800

Help me find a vibrant Protestant church in the Cleveland area. I'm between denominations. I love the idea of going to church, but I've yet to find one where I feel comfortable coming week after week. Maybe you know the denomination I'm looking for.

I presently go to children's weekday Mass at a wonderful little Catholic church. I love it for the following reasons
+ The sermons are wonderful. We always learn about a Saint or a story about Jesus, and then the Priest helps us understand how to apply the lessons to daily life.
+ We all sing together. 100 school children, their teachers and many grandparents sing a simple song every week. Last year it was "we are made for service".
+ There is a fantastic sense of community. I know everyone. Everyone knows me. When we pass the peace, we mean it.
+ We all pray together.
+ I leave feeling refreshed and inspired to be a good person, with very clear directions about where a good person should head this week

However, I am not Catholic for all of the reasons that Protestants usually state. I'd like to find a church where I can take communion. I've tried the following... and had the following problems.
- Going to my parents Presbyterian church. It's mainly blue-hairs. I feel lonely during coffee hour. Everyone who talks to me pretty much just asks how old I am now, and tells me how much I've grown.
- Going to a Unitarian service. It seems to be more of a theological class than a worship service. We didn't pray.
- Going to a born again nondenominational church. We sang and prayed for a half hour, which was AWESOME..... but then the sermon would invariably be a half-hour pro-life rampage and during coffee hour teenagers would pass around petitions to overturn Roe vs. Wade.
- Going to a Non-denominational Contemporary church. Very vibrant, but the service lasted for hours. I had to leave because I was faint with hunger....and my ears rang all day from the excessive volume.
- Not going to Church for years. It leaves me with an emptiness... a yearning.
- Going to a Lutheran church. I felt bored and couldn't sit still.
- Going to a different Presbyterian Church. Great sermon.... but we're given about 5 seconds to 'privately confess our sins' before being forgiven. I find myself both too hurried to reflect, and bored after the sermon. Also, just a handful of adults under 40.

The issue is rather pressing because I'd like my son to have Sunday school experiences. I'd like to find a church (in or near Cleveland) with the following qualities, where I can settle down . . .
+ Young people. I'm in my late 20's and would like to be part of a community that includes a substantial number of adults under 50. Other families with kids would be great. People in their 20's and 30's would be awesome!
+ Protestant denomination
+ a sense of community
+ reasonable amounts of singing
+ prayer
+ sermons that teach about Jesus, God, the Bible and how to be a good person
+ vibrant worship (as opposed to the soul-stifling sound of an entire congregation boredly reciting 'Alleluia' and 'it is right to give thanks and praise in unison)

Trust vs. Faith - what's the difference?

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:35:18 -0800

What is the difference between trust and faith? Long setup, but non-chatty purpose, I promise =) Hi MeFi's,
I have come to a crossroads in life. After 27 years of life, I'm having trouble differentiating between trust and faith.

About this anonymous poster: 27 years old, male, straight, in a steady relationship, currently agnostic but was raised in a Christian household. Physically / mentally / emotionally stable, not on any medications except the occasional aspirin.

OK, I trust people. I typically trust the news and most factual / scientific sources of information. I sometimes trust my bosses. I completely trust my girlfriend of a long time. I feel as though I have no **faith** in any of the aforementioned.

When I was a child I was raised in the Christian faith; that continued until I went to college, where I went to church of my own accord. After graduating, I stopped going to church of any kind, and didn't really miss it. I call myself agnostic because I don't feel I have faith in someone / something....

I see trust as a process, earned by the typical give-and-take in whatever form a relationship between X and Y may take. Past performances are some guarantee of future results, in other words. I see faith as being in something of sight unseen, to use a Biblical quote. Faith hasn't yet built a reputation like 'trust' has; one must believe in order to see its benefits..

I can trust, but I can't have faith. Is there something wrong with me? How do I have faith in something / someone? It's certainly not that I don't want to, it's that I wish Faith had some guidance to go on.

Throwaway e-mail address at trustvsfaith@yahoo.com.

(Anonymous because I'd rather not have this question linked with my account. I have friends on MeFi that might raise some very uncomfortable questions... K thx)

Buddha Pest

Christ, what an asshole — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:48:36 -0800

As a general skeptic, how do you come to terms with a partner who believes in metaphysics? I'm a firm agnostic, staunch proponent of the scientific method, and subscriber to the notion of variability and probability. Just about every partner I've had holds beliefs in such things as predestiny, past lives, and astrology.

I try to keep an open mind, but when a recent girl took me back to her place, gave me a tarot card reading, showed off her crystals, and went on about Wiccan practices, my eyes rolled so far to the back of my head I nearly gave myself an aneurysm. Everything else about her is awesome, but I cannot come to terms with putting effort into someone who doesn't give critical analysis to her surroundings. (As an aside, I'm a very intuitive person, and after her tarot reading, I tore it to bits then turned the tables, providing an amazingly accurate cold reading about her on my own, breaking down my methodology to detailed analysis, body language, and pattern recognition, to which she simply smiled and mused that I'm a clairvoyant with untapped potential.)

The obvious answer is to move on to someone else who shares the same values [is it a value?], but maybe someone can provide me with ideas on how to better temper my tolerance for faith, even insofar as family or friends.

So for the other staunch skeptics out there, how do you deal with partners with a different take on the possible? And is it an issue of potential long-term consequence, such as when marriage or kids come into play?

Help this struggling atheist get over her desire to believe.

lysistrata — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 10:14:34 -0800

After years of drifting along as a "spiritual but not religious" believer I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I'm not actually a believer at all. I am an atheist with a lingering but unwanted desire to believe and it is making me miserable. Can you help me move past this? I was raised in a nominally Christian home but left the church at thirteen. From that point on and up until a few years ago I believed and took comfort in the idea that there was something larger than myself--a greater power that I could turn to in prayer in times of need--but never belonged to any organized religious group. When asked I would refer to myself as "spiritual but not religious." While I didn't belong to any particular group I definitely believed and had faith. Faith that at one point I thought was unshakeable. While this was fulfilling in some respects, over the years, due to many events big and small, I have moved further and further away from belief. In the last two years or so I have slowly started to realize that in my heart of hearts I don't believe at all anymore. In some ways this is a relief and even a little exciting. But I am also feeling a deep sense of loss and hurt not only because I feel as if I have wasted a good deal of my time on something that wasn't true but also because I can't let go of the desire to believe. I feel as if I am going to have to give up my sense of wonder at the world. I feel like I'm giving up the last remaining connection I have to deeper mysteries and that loss hurts me even though I now realize that those mysteries which captivated me for so long are likely not real at all. I took great comfort in my faith and being stripped of it leaves me feeling vulnerable and lonely.

I basically feel like I am stuck between belief and non-belief and I can't move in either direction. If I discard it all and move on to a more materialistic view of the universe I am losing something that has been a big part of my life for a long time but I can no longer pretend that I believe when I don't.

I want to move past this desire to have faith. I don't wish to return to religion. I would be deluding myself if I did. I just want to know how to get rid of the leftover trappings of religious belief. I want to turn this around so that instead of leaving religion behind I am moving towards something better, clearer and more rational. I'm just not sure how to do that. I don't personally know very many atheists and the few that I do were never religious to begin with so I don't know how common these feelings are.

I am looking for advice or anecdotes from formerly religious atheists or agnostics who have found themselves in a similar situation. Did you feel a sense of loss when you "deconverted"? Did it pass? Has your life improved since you moved away from religion? How has it improved? Do you ever feel as if you are missing out on something (either spiritually or culturally) because you are not religious? Are there any books out there that deal with this issue? Am I always going to feel this confused?

Looking for contextual understanding of Hebrews 10:23

iamkimiam — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:07:13 -0800

Seeking advice about a quote from Hebrews 10:23, which states "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." This is from one of the books of the New Testament (Epistle to the Hebrews). I have no religious background knowledge. This quote is referenced in the data portion of a research paper I'm writing. I'm trying to not only understand the quote and what type of message it sends to an audience, but how the quote itself fits into the big picture of Epistle to the Hebrews, and the New Testament. The Wikipedia page is not very useful because it doesn't explain the quote, or the book of Hebrews in context. I'd like to know what was going on before, after, during this time/passage/letter. What is Epistle to the Hebrews for? What is the significance of the message? If you are a religious person, what does this passage mean to you?

A brief summary of events is great...book recommendations or heavy reading material not so much. I just need a basic understanding for now, so that I can apply the knowledge and move on with writing.

Thanks so much!

Yes, they'll know I am Christian... how?

Anonymous — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 11:28:45 -0800

Christian-faith-filter: What do evangelicals think of Catholics? What sorts of things would be good to emphasize, or, conversely, to avoid mentioning, as a Catholic who wants to be taken seriously as a Christian by a group of evangelically-oriented Protestants? So, I'm a lifelong, practicing Roman Catholic, and therefore, of course, a Christian. Without going into too many details, I'm facing a situation which will involve my speaking at length about the state of my personal Christian faith, which will be judged by an audience of mostly more evangelically-inclined (but not fanatical) Protestants. Since I know that evangelical Protestants' opinion of Catholics is pretty mixed, I was wondering if anyone could shed light on:

(1) what exactly my audience's preconceptions might be (that Catholics are too sensual? not Bible-oriented enough? too authoritarian? too community-oriented? or what?) and
(2) what aspects of my faith I should emphasize (or avoid discussing) in order to show that I do possess a nice, mature Christianity of the sort that warmer Protestants could approve (Should I talk more about the private emotional aspects of my belief? Should I say "Jesus" instead of "Christ"? Should I avoid discussing politics, or mentioning the Trinity? And so forth.)

Note that this will be a personal faith defense, not a theological disputation-- the goal is to have people come away agreeing that I'm a good Christian, not to have them come away agreeing that Catholicism is a Christian faith (which latter point I'm sure most of them accept already; I just want to avoid saying anything that might negate that impression). I know this question hardly draws on Metafilter's strongest demographic, but this is the only place I could think of that'd give me a straight answer. Thanks in advance for any and all insights!

Can you recommend some Good Books for my dad?

Metroid Baby — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:02:56 -0800

My dad recently read The Shack and really liked it. Can you recommend other books with a spiritual leaning (not necessarily Christian) that he might also like? A bit of background: Metroid Dad lost both his father and his younger brother earlier in the year, and for the past several months he's been fighting an uphill battle with cancer. We're not sure how much time he's got left, but he's been in remarkably good spirits.

As might be expected in this situation, Dad's been waxing a bit ontological lately. Give him a free ear and he'll talk to you about his thoughts on God and the afterlife, on relationships and love and how we'll all meet again. He prefaces a lot of this with "I'm not sure how, but I believe…" or "Now, I don't go to church that much…" or "I know this might sound kinda flaky, but…" In other words, he's not dogmatic or judgmental, but appears to be approaching these questions with gentleness and an open mind. He was raised Protestant, but believes that all religions are really working towards the same thing and concedes that religion doesn't have to be a central part of anyone's life.

He read The Shack a month or two ago and, though he thought parts were kind of lame, on the whole it really spoke to him. Really, a whole lot. (I read it at his urging, and my reaction was more "hmm, okay.")

Given all of the above, I'd really like to find more reading material in a similar vein – stuff that might also speak to him, comfort him, or get him thinking. Fiction, nonfiction, religious texts, any or all of the above. Doesn't have to be Christian, doesn't necessarily have to have religion or God or spirituality as the main focus. I'd like stuff that’s intelligent but accessible (and readable while in the hospital and woozy), so nothing too dry or too schlocky. And I'd like to avoid proselytizing, Kool-Aid, and scary REPENT SINNERS!!!1! type stuff.

He loved the history books I got him for Christmas at your recommendations, and I'm hoping you guys will have some good ideas yet again.

(I doubt it'll be an issue, but just in case: please, no hurf durf Shack reader or hurf durf God believer here. Dad's not reading this thread, and I'm not going to engage him in any metaphysical arguments, so there's not really any point in it. He'd respect your beliefs, so please respect his.)

Thank you in advance, as always.

The Apologetic for Apologetics? What should the American church be talking about?

rubberfish — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:16:48 -0800

What should a Christian church that attracts non-Christians -- and that is interested in being relevant to the world -- be talking about today? I'm helping a group of people to plan out a year of teaching for a Christian church that focuses on alternative approaches to speaking into the lives of post-modern Americans. What should they be teaching?

Specifically, if you went to a Christian church ONLY ONCE, [or for a short period of time] what topic would you want them to be discussing? What would be relevant to YOU, in your life and reality?

For the sake of this exercise/argument, let's assume that you're not going to convince me [or this group of Christians] not to be Christians, nor should you expect that we'll be talking about changing the basic tenets of the faith [i.e., Jesus/Sin/Redemption/etc.]. This question is not intended to be an open forum on whether Christianity is right or wrong, has been or is evil, or the political leanings of some Christians.

HOWEVER, we are VERY open to gnashing teeth [in the forthcoming teaching] about why we believe what we do, whether what we believe makes sense, or whether it has any bearing on America [and the world] in 2008.

We're willing to wrestle with the realities of these basic concepts of the faith, as well as tackle the stickiest of subjects, and we strive to have open -- and sometimes painful -- conversations about God and our world today. We are not a "shiny-happy-people" kind of place, so the more real and gritty the topic, the better. On an average Sunday, nearly 50% of the people that will hear these messages will be non-Christians, new to faith, or people who have previously been hurt by other Christians.

In short: What should a church -- whether Christian or otherwise -- that is interested in being relevant to the world, be talking about today?

[By the way, if you ARE a Christian, I'm really only interested in your response if there's a non-Christian sitting next to you saying, "Hey, ask this question..."]

Who am I?

hadjiboy — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:03:39 -0800

A Crisis of Identity? All my life, I've been the sort of person to avoid my faith to a certain extent (I would pray and try and be as good a muslim as I could, but there was always so much more I could do, and I knew it). Recently, I've met someone who's awakened that desire in me to finally make the commitment, and it feels great to have begun to do so, but there's another side of me that feels like I'm (I don't even know how to say it...) cheating on it... It feels really weird to be in this sort of position. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, and I don't want to give up on either one of them completely (although I do feel very strongly about my faith now) I have this huge guilt of letting that part of my life go which has been with me for the past 28 years.

What should I do? Do I bury the past and move on with the future, or do I try and create some kind of balance between the two--which would be extremely hard and kind of mentally torturing in a schizophrenic sort of way. I already have enough mental problems as it is so I don't want to be adding to the pile, but I would like some reflection on this subject by people who have been in a similar position and have had to deal with these kinds of feelings of loss and confusion.

Thanks in advance.

Lack of Trust in My God in a Box

snap_dragon — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:30:51 -0800

I would like to sense God in my life. I go to church regularly, pray, and read the Bible to understand Him better but I still have such deep bouts of depression where I either don't trust or sense his presence. There is a wide gap between what I believe with my heart and what I understand in my head. For example, I understand and believe in the sovereignty in God but when hard times come or extremely difficult emotions (despair) arise, that is the first thing I question. I am not looking for an easy life or a perfect life, just one that is able to trust God more. Any opinions on how to do this? I feel a great tension between trying harder, and just letting go but my letting go resembles more closely giving up than "letting God" if you know what i mean. To summarize, I want a stronger faith. Any ideas? Thanks so much for input.

How can this pilgrim acquire faith?

mr_book — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 11:24:00 -0800

Please help this petty agnostic acquire faith in a higher power. I am a 27 yr old agnostic who has attempted the practice of several different religions over the years, eventually calcifying into what my friends have called a "big, bad atheist." After realizing a few years back that atheism wasn't the way to go for me, I started saying that I was an agnostic. I'm not sure that that label fits either.

Every time I've tried experimenting with a religion, I've been fascinated by all of the rituals and mythology which went along with it, but I've never been able to really buy into it. I can't seem to believe concepts like resurrection, reincarnation, angels, the goddess, animistic spirits, et cetera.

I dislike this. I don't want to go through my life not experiencing Faith. I've talked to several people about this, looked online, read books, but what it almost always comes down to is: "If you don't have faith, you can't accept an explanation. If you do have faith, no explanation is necessary." That's all well and good, but it doesn't help me. It's the philosophical equivalent of saying: "Tough rocks, kid."

I've recently come to the conclusion that even if reincarnation, resurrection, et cetera are complete bullshit, I think my experience of the world would be better and fuller is they were not.

I've received advice like "do community service" and "visit a church more often" and "pray" but that's not helpful. I'm not looking for morality - that I can do on my own. I'm also not looking for a religion - I don't need a spiritual bureaucracy telling me how to live my life. What I'm interested in is acquiring Faith itself, not its trappings.

If there are any personal experiences out there which can help, or any advice toward the subject, I'd be grateful. I'm interested in an actual method for acquiring Faith. Literally, how do I get it?

Got faith?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 20:46:34 -0800

I haven't dated anyone in several years now (I'm 35) because I have absolutely no faith that a relationship will work out - in fact to the contrary, I'm quite convinced that it will cause me nothing but pain. This lack of faith is inherent in other aspects of my life - work, personal time etc: I just don't do things because I visualize either pain or failure with great ease, and find it almost impossible to visualize success. How do I go about building faith in my endeavors? I don't consider myself to be depressed - I have been treated for that in the past and I don't think this it. I function pretty well - I have a good job and people like me - I just don't invest in people or activities (or my work any more) because at an unconscious level I relate these things to unpleasant experiences.

I don't think this is a question of optimism either - seeing the sunny side of everything isn't going to get me dating because all of a sudden I'm telling myself it's going to be great and work out.

I am trying to get my life on track - I gave up drugs & booze a few months ago, and I'm working out regularly, all of which is making me feel much better physically. I guess I'm wishing I could improve my self-belief and belief in others in a similar way.

Did they have copyright in 629?

thecjm — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:59:57 -0800

At the bottom of this list of available emblems of belief for veteran's headstones two symbols, the christian scientist cross and crown and the muslim five pointed star, are said to be not shown due to copyright. What's up with that? I can see the christian scientists, being new-ish, perhaps having a copyright on their symbols. But the muslim star copyrighted?

Also, how does copyright let you put a symbol on a tombstone, talk about that symbol on a tombstone, but not show on your website about symbols for tombstones that particular symbol on a tombstone?

And if anyone wants to discuss the various interesting/esoteric faiths listed at the above link, I don't mind the slight hijack. I was surprised to see the moravian lamb listed, due to my personal connection.

Faith Online

MarshallPoe — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 06:26:22 -0800

Religion-Online-Filter: Help me find good religious websites, blogs and online communities. I’m researching the migration of religion (broadly construed) online, 1980s to the present. I was hoping that Mefites could point me in the right direction. I’m interested in: a) early faith-online initiatives from the 1980s or early 1990s; b) popular, traditional (static, ‘web 1.0’) faith-online sites from the 1990s; c) newer, P2P (‘web 2.0’) faith-online sites (Metafilter for the faithful?). Suggestions, anyone?

As usual, my "gut" is sending me mixed messages.

Anonymous — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 08:34:20 -0800

Did you marry someone despite misgivings and have actually it work? We always hear about people who didn't "listen to their heart" and married someone despite misgivings, and ended up divorced or in unhappy marriages. But I wonder about those people - like me - who over-overanalyze everything and are never 100% sure how anything will work in the future. Do any of those people actually have happy, successful marriages? I always hear that "when it's the right person, you"ll just know" but that seems impossible because (1) if 50% of marriages end in divorce, than lots of those people who "just knew" were wrong anyway and (2) there are people - myself included - who don't tend to feel certain about any choices, especially huge ones with long term consequences.

As a tiny bit of background, I always wonder and doubt and I never feel any guarantees in life. However, in retrospect I can say that some of most successful decisions I have made, I had huge doubts about, because I was so nervous, and because I'm superstitious about assuming something good will happen to me. I'm currently in a wonderful relationship that does have its flaws (don't they all?), and usually I get very excited thinking about us growing old together, but other times I get petrified thinking about all the ways the relationship could spiral out of control, if x or y happened. We've been together almost 4 years, we're in our late 20s. But the question isn't really about my relationship, I'm just wondering if there are people who were nervous, had doubts, and it turned out wonderful just the same. (I've heard all the bad stories.)

Are my classmates really that terrible?

martinX's bellbottoms — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:07:08 -0800

Are the other kids at my school going to draw on my arcade machine? A year and a half later, and I'm putting the final touches on this project, that two of the alumni of my robotics team started. I'm using a computer monitor for a screen, and right now I'm planning on putting plexiglass in front of it, to stop people from drawing on (the plexiglass is much easier to replace/clean).
This will, however, make the screen quite a bit harder to see. I'm considering going without the plexiglass and hoping that my classmates can show some basic respect for my hard work/property, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea.
Do you think that this machine is going to have a big, invisible, "vandalize me" sign on it, or will it be okay?
It's basically vandal-proof besides the screen. In fact, it's been compared favorably to tanks

Gotta have Faith-uh, Faith-uh, Faith

Hands of Manos — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 06:57:07 -0800

I've started a personal journey on ancient civilizations' view on faith. I'm in a foreign country where I don't have access to books in English (and I can't speak the language however my wife can). So I'm looking for internet resources about how ancient civilizations had and handled faith in their chosen deity.

For example, what made (or makes) a Shaman or Witch Doctor believe he/she has connection with the spirit world? How did the Native American Indians derive to place so much faith in nature? Or why did ancients place faith in Egyptian mysticism or Greek Gods?

I'm not looking for one specific sect of religion and faith, but generic faith itself and how ancient civ's came to it.

My dad doesn't like my religion.

bigmusic — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 20:45:31 -0800

How do I get my father to understand me? I am 30 years old, a non-theist, and my father is in his late 50's and a Pentecostal pastor. I became an atheist/non-theist after many years of prayer, soul searching, meditation and researching when I was 20. I "came out" as an atheist when I was 22 or so and told my father that I don't believe like him anymore when it comes to religion/spirituality. Since then he's basically told me that

1) There is no such thing as an atheist
2) "God is working on you, son."
3) Every story he hears that seems unexplainable to him except by a supernatural act seems to be an immediate and press proof of a deity... and I hear about it over and over again
4) Any time I get a present from that side of the family, there is a little bit of something Christian/Pentecostal slipped in there as well.
-- and many, many other sideways comments from his wife or him.

This is a man that believes in demons, angels, and miracles. Prophecies happen and God is talking to people now. Dreams are very important to him. His beliefs are fairly well in line with the vineyard group of churches.

This all came to a head the other night when he asked about a book that I was reading "The Singularity is Near." Any topic of this sort doesn't sit well with his faith at all, but the way he attacked the ideas felt like an attack on me. I hung up on him. I called him back a few days later and told him that I didn't want to talk to him for a little while, that I loved him, but he said some things that upset me.

Now what do I do? It's obvious to me that he's not going to let this go. It should have been obvious years ago. But he *can't* even begin to imagine the world without his God and his spiritual life. He literally lives in another world and reality. So I can't even think about where to begin with him.

Basically this all comes down to what kind of relationship I want with my father. I don't want to proselytize him like he's done to me. I don't want to set limits on what he can or can't discuss with me. I guess I just want him to love me without any ulterior motives and accept me the way I am -- maybe even be a bit proud of me. I accept him the way he is, don't I deserve the same? Has anyone been able to successfully navigate these waters?

Any advice on how to deal with this situation would be very helpful, and personal stories are encouraged.

Why are extremely religious people afraid of "Bablyon"?

MrMulan — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 06:54:08 -0800

Why are extremely religious people afraid of visiting/going/living in "Babylon"? After seeing the Devil's Advocate again, I thought of this question. If you have faith why should you be afraid of going to "Babylon"? This would apply even more so to their children...
Besides the obvious explanation of "people are afraid of the unknown..." what other explanations could there be? Compartamentlized thinking maybe?

Help me find God.

ZakDaddy — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 09:04:54 -0800

Help me find God. My father's family is Jewish. My mother's family is Catholic. My parents were divorced when I was 4, and mom eventually became what I affectionately call a born-again Native American. I married a Southern Baptist in an Episcopalian church. My oldest 2 girls attend a Waldorf school. My closest friend has joined a United Methodist congregation. In my youth I was aggressively atheist. In high school I decided to hedge my bets and went agnostic. As a young man, I had a private epiphany that brought me to an awareness of God, and for the last 10 years I have been trying to find a ... peer group, for lack of a better phrase.

You may infer from the text thus far that I don't consider Jews, Catholics, Native Americans, Southern Baptists, etc. etc. to be peers, and from the standpoint of religious doctrine you would be correct. However, this is more likely due to my (very) limited grasp of said doctrines than anything else. Would a comparative religions course be at all useful, or is an academic approach the wrong road to take? Do I really need a peer group? Should a personal relationship with God be enough? What do I teach my children?

I understand and accept that this is a deeply personal issue, and my intent is not to incite a flame war, or even a debate. But surely I am not the first person to face this search -- who else out there discovered God and then religion in that order, instead of the other way around? What worked for you?

Christian art?

Jongo — Sun, 27 Mar 2005 02:52:38 -0800

Come Easter, I've been listening to a lot of religious music, not least Bach's passions. It got me thinking as to whether there was any art totally outside of faith that was equally sublime. (Disclaimer: I am an atheist) Even great secular works were composed by people who, as far as I can tell, had at least some degree of faith (I'm thinking particularly of Beethoven and Mozart here). Wagner, IIRC, also had a fairly strong Christian identity.

Is this a trend that is followed elsewhere in western art? Did Shakespeare or Cervantes have any particularly strong sense of faith? What about art outside of the western tradition and in other faiths?

I'm thinking particularly about those artists who have been seemingly preserved for posterity (but therein might lie the answer to my question!), those that have achieved titanic stature as the highest exemplars of their art.

I'm not particularly knowledgeable about any of this. Just a bit of Easter Sunday speculation. So please tell me if I'm barking up the wrong tree.

Losing faith

borkingchikapa — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 08:45:26 -0800

Atheists, when did you lose your faith? I read the last question of this article, and now I'm curious more about individual experiences than reaching your set of "beliefs" gradually (as I did). Was there one moment or set of events in your life that you can trace your loss of faith back to? How religious were you beforehand?