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How to deal with homesickness while living abroad? (And when can I give in to it and go home?

inatizzy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:32:54 -0800

I've been happily living abroad for three months, and all of a sudden I'm extremely homesick and I want to come home. I want to get past this, but how? (Apologies for the length. It's a complicated issue for me. The questions are at the end. Thanks. :)

I've been living in Buenos Aires for 3 months now, fulfilling a long-time dream to live abroad. I'm settled in with a small group of friends I see a few times a week (fellow swing dancers), moving to an apartment with two nice roommates this week, and I've pretty much moved past the just-moved-here distractions and into regular, mundane life.

So for the past week, I've been hit by intense, depression-level homesickness. I'm missing my family the most I have in many years, probably because I'm in the thick of spending my first Christmas ever away from my hometown and my family, which is very sad and a even a little scary for me. (It is too expensive to go back, and I knew that when I decided to come here.) Christmas is not religious for us, but it's a ritual that is the cornerstone of my year. We come together and it wraps up this year and starts off the next one. To stave off the loneliness, I've been good about making plans with friends for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and I will video Skype with my family.

Despite this, the homesickness persists. I cycle between feeling normal and feeling really down. The down time is usually in the afternoon, when I'm home alone and the long, lonely day is stretched out ahead of me. The up time is usually in the evening and night when I have plans. (Or even tonight, when I don't!) What I'm going through now reminds me of the way my mood cycled one summer, seven years ago, when I had major depression. Overall I feel more stable and happy now than then, during my "up" times, but the down times are similar. I'm sad, filled with hopelessness and grief, and I cry so hard that I practically burst out of my skin. My perspective gets skewed and I don't believe any of the logic behind my decision to live here. I get desperate and I just want to end the pain and be home with my family RIGHT NOW. (Even though Mom & I both agree that really, this should be a good experience for our family to go experience a Christmas when one of us isn't there.)

During the ups I feel pretty normal and in agreement with the logic that brought me here to live. But I do feel more tired, emotionally and physically, and I just don't have as much energy to be enthusiastic about things. (Usually I'm quite bubbly and smiley.) My friends notice and have been asking me if I'm OK, even when I'm in the best part of my day.

The whole thing is making me question how long I want to or should stay here. I came here to improve my Spanish and to live internationally for awhile. (So that I will have had that life experience.) When I'm feeling up, I have the strength to keep pushing on towards those goals but when I'm down, I don't care anymore. I just want to be home. I want to give up trying to stay strong. In both states of mind I am looking forward to settling into a community for the long term and working my way up in a new career path (community organizing or something similar). These are things I've been looking forward to since before I left and in fact they inspired me to live abroad because I wasn't ready to settle down until I did this first.

I'm sorry for writing so much here. I guess what I'm looking for here is some insight and guidance from people who've been through this before. Why did homesickness hit, what did you miss, and how did you cope with it? Do you have advice for me as I try to overcome it? Both during the holidays, and in general? And at what point is it OK to decide to go home? I don't want to give up too soon but I also don't want to be unnecessarily hard on myself and force myself to stay here unhappily. Thanks in advance for any advice.

Advice about moving to Montreal for artists

cotesdurhone — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:21:39 -0800

Advice about moving to Montreal (for artists)? I've decided I want to move to Montreal. I've been doing a lot of research, including looking through old Metafilter posts, but do not have a clear sense yet of what my chances are or the best channels to pursue.

Please help me find out:
-- Whether I stand a chance (only reasonable, empirically-based responses, please)
-- And, if yes, suggestions on how to best go about it

Some pertinent information:

I am 30, a writer (of literature), live in Boston. Was educated at a 'good liberal arts college,' and had a semester at Oxford studying creative writing.

My English is excellent, and I also have a high level of fluency in Russian. I do not speak French, but if I had the opportunity to move to Montreal, would straightway try to take the French classes sponsored by the government.

(By the way, does anyone have any information about this?-- Apparently, the Quebec government, in order to 'Francify' new residents and improve their chances of finding employment, will provide them with free French classes and a living stipend while taking them. One person seemed to indicate that they could be arranged as part of the Visa process, but, as I research, the catch-22 seems to be that one needs to obtain a Visa beforehand.)

For the last five years or so, I've been working part-time at office manager-type jobs while simultaneously working on my writing. I have also made money occasionally as a freelance editor, Russian translator, and illustrator (though no official degrees to prove I have these skills).

In Montreal, my plan would be to continue working part-time, also possibly freelancing in editing and illustration, and working on my writings the rest of the time.

I was thinking that, if it would be helpful and possible-- which it probably isn't--, I could also provide a 'resume' and attachments of publications and writings as a sort of appendix to the Visa application.

For more specific information, please see a previous post.
(Yes, I realize they are similar-- but this is one is specifically about Montreal.)

Thanks!

Tell me about Bangkok, please

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:39:45 -0800

What's living in Bangkok like? Should I consider moving there? I have a potential opportunity for a job in Bangkok. It would be for minimum two years, with my current company. Am a little hesitant to do it, so am wondering what living there is like for an expat? Culture, livability, cuisine, expense, weather, neighborhoods, transport, smog levels ... all topics fair game.

Background that may be useful:
* Single/unattached; mid-30s.
* Likely salary there (this just a guess): US$45-55K/year, paid in dollars.
* US-born; have lived abroad before in multiple countries.
* Never been to Asia.
* Speak two languages besides English, one of them rather well. Do not speak a word of Thai (job would be almost entirely in English) or any other Asian language.
* Averse to hot, sticky weather. (How bad is it, really?)

Help 3 clueless Brits do something fun for thanksgiving in NYC!

hibbersk — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:26:13 -0800

3 Brits in NYC, no plans for thanksgiving and wondering what all the fuss is about! What cool stuff can we do this weekend? Husband I have recently relocated to NYC from the UK. We have a friend visiting from the UK for the weekend, arriving late on Wednesday night. We haven't really made any plans for thanksgiving, apart from maybe checking out the Macy's parade. After all, we don't really understand what all the fuss is about! But now I'm thinking - maybe we should make a bigger deal about it! What cool (preferably cheap/free) things can we do? Will all the good restaurants be fully booked by now? And finally, will there be more or less tourists than usual around and queueing up for things like the Empire State Building / Statue of Liberty / [other mandatory tourist things that visitors like to do] ?

Propitious places to move to & unusual living situations for having 3 or 4 days a week free to work on personal project

cotesdurhone — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:39:38 -0800

I'm working on a project that requires at least 3 or 4 full days attention each week. What are some places in the US or world I could move to, &/or unusual living situations, that would give me a good chance of doing this? Other considerations:

• Part-time job terminating Jan 1, and definitely want to move elsewhere (currently live in Boston)
• Have $5000 savings. Will probably also be able to continue receiving unemployment (about $1,000 month) if I move out of state (but not country, obviously)

• Age 30. US Citizen.
• Languages: English, Russian
• Skills: Writing and editing, visual art, Russian translation (but no graduate-level degrees to show this)
• BA from Liberal Arts college + semester (2 terms) at Oxford

Any and all reasonable options considered.

• Preferred urban environment: vibrant arts scene, inspiring architecture, not overrun with college students or sports fanatics, ethnically and age-ally diverse
• 'Ideal' destinations: Montreal, France
• Hypothetical order of preference: 1. Montreal & France (tie) 2. EU, Scandinavia, & Turkey 3. Eastern Europe 4. USA & Canada 5. South America 6. Asia 7. Australia/New Zealand 8. other

• Preferred rural environment: the more (interesting) people around, the better

• "unusual living situations" = housesitting - caretaking - living in some cabin - (earnest) meditative community - collective farm - kibbutz - teaching abroad - or anything else

• If it's helpful to know— the project is of a literary nature (a novel and other writings)

Finally, what are the very best resources (books, websites, magazines, etc) that might be of help?

Building home across the pond

zvs — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:47:40 -0800

Make London work. Help a beleaguered New Yorker figure out how to acclimate. Griping follows. So, there's a decent chance I'll be trying to move to London next year for school and work. No visa issues (EU passport), no language issues, no real issues at all -- except that when I've visited London, it Just. Doesn't. Work. For me.

New York to London shouldn't be a big culture shock, right? But for some reason I've never found anywhere there that felt nearly as comfortable or useful as Brooklyn. I don't feel like I can pop in somewhere for quick food, I can't find any life (not nightlife) after 8 PM, I can't find more groceries than a Tesco Express... I realize some of these aren't reasonable London expectations, but that won't stop me from building a little homey bubble around myself!

So, your tips are welcomed for this oddly specific question: where's the appropriate London district that's similar to home? It doesn't have to be terribly central or TOO cheap. If you're familiar with both cities, comparable neighborhoods in New York would be Astoria, or Greenpoint, or Carroll Gardens -- the last three places I liked. All of them are sort of quiet, insulated, and very dense. A little off the beaten path.

The closest I found to something like this in London was the area near St-John-At-Hackney, and that wasn't all that close. Pleasant though.

(I've seen this, but it's not really what I mean)

Loneliness and location

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:26:09 -0800

I'm heading back to the work world after studying abroad, and want to overcome my long-standing social isolation. Where should I move to? I'm 27, and finishing a masters degree at a university in Sweden. Between this and my prior experience in the software industry, my career is in great shape. But my social life is not. I'm lucky enough to have kept close friends from high school, but have struggled to make new ones since then. This also carries over to dating: my only sexual experience was a fling with an old friend a couple years back. The thought of this continuing indefinitely is scary but all too realistic.

Soon I need to start applying for programming jobs, and I'd like to do it with the above in mind. I'm a U.S. citizen from the Northeast, but I also traveled around Northern Europe (Scandinavia, Holland, Ireland, …) during my studies and wouldn't mind living there either. (I'm aware of the issues with getting work permits.) But the couple friends I do have here are also foreign students, and even outgoing expats say Swedes are hard to get to know. I'm afraid that even in an English-speaking country this could be the case for a foreigner. Are there expat MeFites that have experience with this? I prefer some aspects of the culture here, but it's no fun to live anyplace as a perpetual outsider.

If I do go back to the U.S., are some cities friendlier than others? Of course I realize that solving my problems involves hard work, personal change, and probably some form of therapy. But I don't want to sabotage my efforts either. Cities with good food, public transit, a decent music scene, and not overly conservative would be nice too.

I'm going home! (for 2 weeks)

Fiat124 — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:39:18 -0800

ExpatFilter: American Expat returning home for 2 weeks. What should I do while I am home? BonusFilter: Help me decide what to do with all my worldly posessions that didnt go Expat with me. I'm an American Expat whose been living in the Far/Middle East for the last 3 years. I'm returning home for 2 weeks for vacation and to visit family and friends whom I havent seen since I left.

2 Part Question:

1 - What things should I do in my hometown (San Antonio, Tx) since I will physically be there? One example is getting my Drivers License updated as it will be expiring next year. I'll also be getting a safety deposit box at my bank to store my important papers (currently being stored in a firebox at my parent's house). Fun suggestions welcome too.

2 - Before I left, I basically threw all my junk that wouldnt fit in my luggage into a 10'x20' climate controlled storage unit and left. Most of this stuff is not worth shipping overseas (3BR House worth of furniture, small appliances, books, old clothes, etc). What should I do with it all? My first thought was donating to a Veterans group but the ones my parents contacted all said they really only wanted money instead of household goods. Goodwill is my last resort as they will come and get it all. Any other recommendations? Tax deductible preferred but not required.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Do we stay (in NYC) or do we go (to Budapest)?

Hwaet — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:20:36 -0800

Following the trail of adventure and windborne caution, my boyfriend and I are kicking around the idea of moving to Budapest next year. Pipe dream or feasible goal? Questions about teaching ESL abroad (ten years after the Central European expat boom, no less!), expat experiences in 2009, Eastern European culture, general questions about Hungary, and... I've been living in Brooklyn for nearly three years, which has been fun but now I'm getting restless. I have worked as a bartender for a year that, sadly, has no future or room for upward mobility. I convened with my boyfriend and he's maybe game for moving to Europe, if we can swing it without bringing destruction to our finances. I honed in on Budapest because as a student studying abroad in Prague a couple years ago, Budapest was by far my favorite city. I liked the metropolitan, open-spaced feel that Prague seemed to lack, the wide streets, friendly but pessimistic people, the lovely architecture, the relatively cheap living (compared to NYC), the spas and operas and flea market, and its central location to other great locations.

I assume I'd probably have to teach ESL, probably business English. I have a college degree in English lit, and it seems I'll need to be certified in order to compete with Budapest's preferred English-speaking Hungarians. My boyfriend dropped out of college with a semester to go before completing his degree in English, and now he's a graphic designer who specializes in designing and selling signs. Do we have a chance in hell at scraping by in Budapest if I teach English and he freelances as a designer? Have you or anyone you know had experience with the TESOL programs? What's the most effective route that will make me appealing to employers that won't also break my bank?

Assuming we did move to Budapest, what should we expect in terms of culture shock? Is Hungarian culture very different from Czech culture? Keep in mind that I was still an American student living with fellow Americans during my time in Prague, so I might have very little idea of authentic Eastern European lifestyles.

Nitty gritty: What salary range should I expect as a first year ESL teacher? How much do decent, centrally-located apartments cost? What's the ex-pat community like? Can I bike in Budapest?

Barring Budapest, should I consider another city? I'm not really game for Asia, as I'm predisposed to cool, gloomy habitats. Budapest is so appealing partly because A) I've lived in Central Europe before and have some idea of how things are run, B) I'm a Brooklyn resident who likes big cities with a small town feel, and C) I'm dying to get away from the NYC mentality that justifies spending tons of money on booze and entertainment. More than anything else, I want to do something challenging before I settle down for marriage and babies and a mortgage. My boyfriend and I have each other, we're bright and adventurous, and I don't want to waste that energy living in America for the end of our days if it's feasible to try another country, however short of a time.

Is this possible?

Life in the Loire Valley

nicoleincanada — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:53:08 -0800

What should I do to prepare for expat life in France's Loire Valley? I'm a Canadian woman in her mid 20s, moving to France to work as an English language assistant for seven months. I leave in just under 2 weeks. I'll be living in an unbelievably picturesque town in the Loire, which is awesome, but I have very little knowledge of what to expect of life in France, or what I can do to prepare while still in Canada, besides the usual paperwork misery.

Some specific areas of curiosity include:
- How much my limited language skills will hinder me. My knowledge of French is fairly basic, and although I can make myself understood and throw around a few verb tenses, my oral comprehension is pretty weak. However, I'll be teaching solely in English, and I'm very keen to improve in French
- Whether a lacto-ovo vegetarian has any hope of subsisting on much more than pasta, salad and eggs
- Whether there are any good ex-pat groups in the region (though I'd love to make French friends, I suspect language skills might hold me back on that front)
- Whether the locals will shun/welcome me

Beyond all that, I'm curious about any experiences in the Loire, whether as a tourist or expat resident. Recommendations, dos/don't, Canada-specific culture shocks, I'd love any firsthand knowledge.

FYI, I have a healthy savings account and will earn a modest salary, so I don't expect money will be an issue. Also, I know there have been similar questions about living in France, but none specific to this region that I could find.

Most likely relocating to Iraqi Kurdistan. What do I need to know?

Anonymous — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:15:53 -0800

Most likely relocating to Iraqi Kurdistan. What do I need to know? First off, I think it's important to note that I fully realize that Iraqi Kurdistan is a whole different ballgame from Iraq Proper. Please don't assume I'm having visions of Baghdad or anything... :)

That being said, here is a bit about me and the situation:
I'm a Canadian in my mid 20's, female, single. If I decide to accept the job, I will be teaching English at a private language school in Erbil. I understand that a lot of the logistics of this will be arranged though the school (housing assistance, visas, etc) but I'm looking for some other perspectives on life there. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of resources on the net about this, even in spheres like Lightstalkers, and comebackalive. Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree has quite a bit about traveling there, but not as much about living long-term. I am currently living elsewhere in the Middle East, and have traveled quite a bit (including some potentially sketchy places), so I don't think the transition will come as a shock.

1. Kurmanji vs. Sorani? I already speak one minority language of the region, which I've heard will be helpful, and I've studied a bit of Arabic (enough to be vaguely familiar with the script, and a touch of vocab), but I will need to learn one of the local dialects. Both are spoken throughout Kurdistan, but I'm wondering which might be more useful outside the country. (assuming I'll continue living/working within the M.E. for at least the next decade or two). Also, which is easier to learn? (Latin and Arabic scripts aside, though I know that might be the tipping point). Would it be at all feasible to just ditch Kurdish altogether, keep studying Arabic, and use that and my other minority language?

2. What is expat life like? I live abroad to fully experience the culture, but sometimes a good laugh over beers, and English conversation about the latest "Office" episode, or issue of Foreign Policy is needed. Are there many younger (under 45) expatriates living there? I would assume they are almost all aid workers or journalists. What do local expats do for "fun"?

3. What can I not purchase there? I'm familiar with a number of items not typically available in the developing world and/or M.E, but any things specific to Kurdistan?

4. I have an Israeli passport stamp, and my passport will expire 11 months after my arrival. What problems might this cause? Is it possible to get a new passport once I'm there? Or should I try to get a new one before I leave. (Though I cannot return to Canada before I go.)

5. Where can I find information about housing, rent, shopping malls/grocery stores etc? Will any of this be available before I leave, or will I just have to figure it all out once I arrive?

Also potentially relevant information: I take medication daily. I'll be traveling with a Mac. I'm also a freelance photographer and will be bringing a bit of camera gear. I'm a messianic jew who would like to attempt to practice (NOT proselytize) my faith there (through either a local synagogue or church). I'm highly interested in aid work and would like to get my foot in the door through volunteering at local NGOs... I think that's about all the info you need for now!

Also, any personal anecdotes, links, or book suggestions (either on the history/culture of the area, or language-learning books) would be immensely helpful!

Thanks in advance, mefites!

(anonymous because I don't necessarily feel like attaching my name to all this personal information)

Freedom in Freetown

iamck — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:44:51 -0800

Moving to Sierra Leone, or thereabouts. Freetown? Bo? Where to go? Any first hand suggestions? I've been in Africa for 10 months, and I'm looking for a change from the oppressive desert and the cultural conservatism.

I want to go someplace where I can live cheaply, focus on my writing, music. I've been to a lot of the big African capitals, and I'm normally put off by the crushing chaos. How is Freetown - or the other, semi, mid sized cities? How is the ambiance? Is there much of an arts scene? What would be a good quarter to live?

Resettling in New Delhi

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:20:28 -0800

American woman moving to New Delhi. Tips and advice on housing requested! I'm a female grad student moving to New Delhi in mid-September for nine-ish months to do research. On the off-chance that the communal wisdom of Metafilter can help me, I'm asking for advice on how to find an apartment and which neighborhoods you recommend.

Details: My work is divided between south Delhi (GK1, South Ex, etc) and Gurgaon. Since transport within Gurgaon is relatively difficult for those who don't have a car and driver constantly on call (a luxury that my research stipend, while generous, doesn't quite encompass), I think an apartment in south Delhi would suit me better. (Plus, the university I'm affiliated with is actually north of Connaught Place!) That way, I can hire a car only on those days when I need to be in Gurgaon.

A friend suggested neighborhoods in south Delhi that I already know, and which put me in close-ish proximity to the Gurgaon route (Hauz Khaz, Green Park, Safdarjung Enclave). I posted on an expat listserv, but I'm not having much luck finding places in those areas. I guess I could go with a realtor, but man, they are expensive, and the rent they're suggesting to me is much higher than what folks in Delhi think I should be paying (25-30,000 rupees at the lowest for a flatshare).

Does anyone here have any advice on how to find flatshares or apartments in south Delhi?

Secondly -- I used to know Delhi pretty well, but I haven't been back since 2005, so any other tips are welcome, too. I'm thinking particularly of the stuff I wasn't interested in before. I like to cook for myself these days, so if you know of a good supermarket (I hear they're now increasingly ubiquitous!) and a good gym where a single gal could work out in comfort without bankrupting herself, that would be great too. (Gold's, I hear, is very chic and well-maintained, but also abominably pricey.)

Throwaway email for good measure: newdelhibound@gmail.com

Moving to France, No Job, Don't Know French, It's Happening Regardless

jellywerker — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:45:19 -0800

Moving to France, No Job, Don't Know French, It's Happening Regardless. How do I find work in the manual labor sector? Can I go over as a "tourist" fall in love with the country and stay without coming back to the States to figure out visas and such? I will be going over there with little money (~$1500) and will need to figure out work fast. I am tired of the US. I don't like the way our systems work, the way our government treats us, and I want to move out. I have looked at several countries but finally settled on France. I like the idea of a country that seems to encourage people to enjoy and appreciate their lives. I am sure my idealized version of France is nothing like the real thing and that I am in for a shock. I am ok with that. Any change is good and I relish the adventure.

A little about me. I am 18, live on my own, and have few ties and responsibilities here in the States, nothing that can't be worked out. I have not yet gone to college, but intend to get a degree eventually. Right now I feel like I would only be doing it because that it what is expected of me, rather than it being the best option for me right now. $80k of debt is not a way to start a life. I want to learn about the world and myself before I do something like that.

The philosophical out of the way, lets get into details. I have about three years experience in the exterior/interior painting industry. I am not exceptionally quick at it, but I work hard and produce extremely fine quality work. I have dabbled in other manual jobs too, and am fairly handy with engines, carpentry, roofing, electrical work, plumbing, and the like. I want to get a job in a similar area when I move to France. I think it will give me an excellent opportunity to work on the language, as well as being the kind of work that doesn't usually require perfect communication. I would eventually like to go to school somewhere in Europe, but for now I just want to work, be productive, live independently, and grow as a person.

How should I start going about this? After I pay for the flight, I'll have somewhere between $1000 and $2000 dollars to start me off. Chump change from what I hear, but I can hobo with the mediocre of them! I plan to take my bicycle and pare my belongings down to a duffel, give/sell my vehicles and stuff away to friends and family, get a prepaid cellphone over there, and swap my desktop for a netbook so I still have connection. I have a passport, but figure I would need a visa, however without a job or school lined up, that really just leaves tourist visas and from what I have read, those don't seem to work for what I want. I also want to head over sometime around October.

You may get the impression that I am deluding myself with my shoestring budget and short schedule. Maybe I am, but I am getting out of here regardless. My living standards can be low, and my will to work is extraordinary. As a side project while I am there, I want to commune with interesting architects and learn more about what it is I think I want to go to school for.

In summation:

My most marketable skill is house painting, how best to go about getting a similar job in France?
~$1500 starting budget (after plane ticket)
Can I head over and work on getting the proper visas and such while I am there?
I am perfectly cool with living in relative squalor for a while if that's what it takes to make this happen.

If you guys really think France is not an option, I like Norway (Pricy!) and Argentina a lot too, and I might consider somewhere like Malaysia but that might be too much of a change right now. Also, I live in Seattle, but can fly out of Pittsburgh too.

Looking for adventure with decent Internet: Where?

PatoPata — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 12:59:29 -0800

I want to spend 2-3 months living like an internet-using local in Latin America, Asia, or Africa. What are your favorite spots for short-term living? I want to do this in a few locations over the next few years if I can afford it. I'm female, 48, US-born, and I run a business online.

I'm specifically looking for places in Latin America, Asia, or Africa. It's time for me to stretch.

I need:

* A reliable, faster-than-dialup internet connection.

* Public transport

I like:

* Small- to medium-sized cities that have a university but that aren't dominated by students

* Hanging out in cafes; taking a long time to eat interesting food

* Pedestrians

* All types of dancing (salsa, folk, even country line dancing--I don't care). My most successful trips have involved dancing with locals.

* Old buildings, especially adobe or Islamic styles

I avoid:

* Places where the rule is "Never go out alone after dark."

* Places where foreign women are the targets of aggressive pursuit and groping. I can ignore low-level harassment.

* Shopping, glitz, skyscrapers, resorts

I speak advanced Spanish and some Portuguese. I'd want to learn some of the local language wherever I end up and don't care what it is.

Places I've considered to varying degrees: Montevideo, Uruguay (probably next; will also check out Argentina); a non-Santiago location in Chile (such as?); Sucre, Bolivia; Guanajuato, Mexico; Morocco; Turkey; Tunisia; Namibia; Senegal; Vietnam; Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia; Cuba, if getting in and out isn't a huge hassle as a US citizen.

Places I've liked: Oaxaca, Bruges, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, a village in northern Spain. Places I didn't like: Ghent, Barcelona (big crowds of students; noise).

What Latin, Asian, or African locations do you recommend? Thanks!

Getting a Visa before getting a job offer?

qwip — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:55:50 -0800

UK Expat Work Filter: Worth getting a working visa before getting a job offer? I'd love to get the opinion/experiences of anyone who's gotten a Tier 1 General Visa before getting a job offer in the UK. My wife and I (both with graduate degrees, both American) work in strategy consulting and service design, and although there are advertised positions available for the work we do, few firms seem to be open to hiring anyone without work permits. We're looking specifically in London, but are open to other areas of the UK.

Since it will cost over US $2,000 to apply for visas, is spending the money on permits a calculated risk or crazy gamble? Basically we'd like to better understand if it would be worth it to spend the money getting work permits in this economy, or if it would be money down the drain. Love to hear the experience of anyone who has been/is in the same boat.

Where should I live in the USA? I like music, culture, etc - but I need to be close to Europe.

wingless_angel — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:13:01 -0800

Where should I live in the USA? I like music, culture, etc - but I need to be close to Europe. So I have the opportunity to be a US permanent resident next year and am starting to research as much as I can about where I might live. But there's a glitch - the timing is kind of bad and I am going to need to spend a fair of time in Europe over the next 3 years for work. I've got the permanent residence maintenance issues in hand (assuming I get the visa next year of course! I'm a DV winner) but the big question is: where should I live in the US (probably a few months each time) and establish my life/residence until I move for good?

I have spent about 4 months in the US across the past 5 years for vacation and conferences, places I've liked best have been Seattle, Chicago, especially Evanston, Santa Monica (but not so much the rest of LA), New York. I have only spent a day in Boston, but it seemed good. I don't drive so public transport is critical. I would not move to San Francisco for this reason. Climate I am not so worried about.

I have previously lived in Sydney, The Hague, and currently London. I like areas that are lively but not on top of the action - we live just north of Camden Town, and I lived in Newtown when I was in Sydney. I eat a lot of Asian and ethnic foods - I like variety. I also like living in a place with a lot of music, good bars, bookstores, museums etc and access to open spaces and parks. Living in London and the Hague, I'm used to an overpriced cost of living. My husband is an academic so a city with lots of academia would be good. Most of my US friends live in NYC.

The kicker is that I would be going back and forth between the US and Europe often for a couple of years, so I would prefer somewhere that is close flightwise to keep costs and flight times down (7hr flight vs 11 hr, for instance). A city with ample short-term leases would be good (or long-stay holiday apartments). We also need someplace where establishing a life is not too difficult - places where you can open a bank account and get ID and build credit. London for example, is tedious at this.

Where should I go, MeFi?

Expat with scattered savings and retirement funds - how do I organise them?

wingless_angel — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 07:36:19 -0800

Expat needing to organise and manage money across two (or more) countries. How best to save in multiple places, and organise superannuation/retirement accounts? I recently moved to the UK, and I am self-employed here. For the first time, I have to take care of insurance, tax, and expenses instead of my employer organising this. I am putting aside money for tax every month. I have savings accounts both in the UK and Australia with various amounts in them. I am not sure how long I will stay in the UK (probably no more than a few years) and will either go home or to another country. I really need to get my money together and work out what to do with it.

I have two Superannuation accounts that refuse to roll together in Australia (both public sector). I have not signed up for a retirement fund in the UK. The most pressing issue right now is whether I let my most recent super account switch from Defined Benefit to Accumulation. I don't necessarily plan to go back to the same sector, so would accumulation be wise?

Should I open a retirement account here in the UK, even if I only plan to stay for a few years (I am paying NI contributions)? Or should I do something else with the money I would have otherwise saved? For example I have an Etrade account for share purchasing that I opened and never used.

Are there any savings accounts that work well for expats in multicurrency? I know about HSBC Premier but I do not have enough money to go with them.

I am concerned that I have pools of money all over the place, and I am not getting the best out of them. I would like to work these things out for myself if I can, if you are an expat how do you manage your money and savings?

Move to Kuala Lumpur?

cosmonaught — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:26:29 -0800

Should I move to Malaysia (KL) for a year? It looks like I may have the opportunity to take a 1 year assignment in KL for my job (I live in the US). The dollars-and-cents and career stuff make sense, but really, everything I know about Malaysia comes from either No Reservations or Tomorrow Never Dies.

I'm currently leaning towards going, but mostly based on a "why not" rational. Anything pro or con I should feed into my decision? Any must have factors that I should look for in a relo-package? (e.g. a car is necessary, make sure you're getting an apartment/house in X area, etc.)

Bonus Questions:
If I do go, must see/do/go/eat things?
Any advice on using KL as a launching point for traveling to other places in SE Asia as well as possibly Japan and Korea?

I have seen the suggestions here and here.

A Country House (Moving to England)

bibliophibianj — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:18:07 -0800

After I graduated from university last year, I moved to England to work as an au pair for a year. My time's up (I go back in a month to start pursuing my Masters), but I feel like I fit in really well over here & would seriously consider moving here after I get my degree. Actually, I'd rather just stay. Unfortunately that's not an option right now. I'd need a job to move here, though! Do you think I could find one? (Relevant details inside.) I'm an American & German citizen (no work permit issues) in my early 20s, and have received my education in the States. I've done pretty well so far, and I'll be starting at a university that's well-recognized in my field (library science-I'd love to work with rare books/special collections, but really just want to work at a university library). With lots of hard work, I'm hoping to do well there, too. It has a practical experience requirement, so I think I'll be able to add some good things to my C.V. by the time I graduate. I already have several years of library experience, though they were part-time posts.

I fully intend to apply for UK jobs after I get my degree. I'm just concerned that my American degree will be looked down on, or that I'll be overlooked because of my nationality. Does anyone know if there is a prejudice against Americans in this field? Will it be absolutely necessary for me to move to the UK without a job lined up so I can have a UK address before I start looking? Is there any chance I could find practical experience in the UK during the summer?

Help me getting shanghaied!

ouke — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:27:35 -0800

I am contemplating an offer to work and live in Shanghai. From where I'm standing now, the job looks fantastic and the whole situation looks like a long and deep wish come true. This question is basically about the cost of living in Shanghai for a family with two kids. This is not a standard expat situation, where there are corporate programs that take care of the families and their needs. The company I'm going to work for is an ambitious, but relatively small operation, so this means I have to take care of a lot of things concerning my family.
My biggest concern is the cost of the education of my kids and the cost of health insurance. I've been in a situation like this before when I went to Tokyo. I was offered a job that paid very well - until I found out that sending my kids to an international school basically took care of my monthly income.

Are there any mefites around that had to deal with this situation? My son is 10 years old and my daughter is almost 13. What would be a rough estimate for an annual income to get by in Shanghai? And what would be the best online community for expat and Shanghai noobs, like myself, where I can start worrying about the details?

US bank account outside the US

saysthis — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:52:12 -0800

Assuming I'm a US citizen with no bank account, what's the best way to obtain a debit card, bank account, or credit card within the US? I'll need it for online ID verification, online ordering, paypal, and the other standard slough of uses a debit card is good for. I haven't been home to the US in years, and I haven't used my debit card in ages. The bank, probably rightfully, has placed my account on hold until I can show up in person at a branch to withdraw cash. I still haven't fully investigated my options there, but from the phone calls I've made, it seems like they mean it, and it looks like it'll just have to stay that way until I find my way back to the States again, which likely won't be for awhile.

In the meantime, I'd like to start picking up freelancing work outside China, where I am. China has silly currency and reporting restrictions that I'd really rather not deal with. The easiest way to facilitate this, then, is with a USD paypal account, online bank account, or some other payment system that I'm not familiar with. I'd also like to order things online, obviously, which China's local Unionpay doesn't do very well outside the mainland. If I'm not in the US to apply directly, though, I'll need some form of online application.

Ideally, I'd like a Visa or Mastercard debit card tied to a bank account that I can apply for and manage from here. I can use my parents' address in the States and have them forward my mail if need be. What are my options?

Packing and Leaving

Unred — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 06:09:49 -0800

Say you want to move to Europe for just a few months. What logistically should I be preparing for? Do I give up my apartment (in case I want to stay longer than a couple of months)? How much money should I have saved? If you're in your 30's is it possible to find work without a work visa? Is it possible to get a work visa without a job beforehand?

Has anyone ever done this and want to share the things they wish they'd thought about before they did it? BTW the place I'm thinking of going is Amsterdam. I like the idea of actually living there, but I think trying it out first is a better idea than just jumping ship on America.

What if we DON'T want a green card - how do we get hitched?

ukdanae — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:58:52 -0800

I'm American, he's Scottish. We live in the UK, and are engaged. He doesn't want a green card and probably never will, but we might want to get married in the States. What do we need to do? Due to the complex machinations of the UK Home Office, I may or may not have my Certificate of Approval in place in time for my wedding date this summer. If we don't get it, no biggie - we can still have the wedding day then do the official stuff later.

We're honeymooning in the States, and thought it might be fun to do a little-white-chapel quickie wedding in Gatlinburg, TN if the "proper" wedding falls through. Do we have to do anything special to get married in the States?

I know if my fiance' wanted a green card he'd need to come in on a special visa, etc., but we're not planning to ever settle in the States. Can he just come in on a tourist visa, get hitched, get the wedding certificate, then we come back home to the UK? I've searched around this whole thing but all i can find is advice for people looking to settle in the States.

I've checked the Sevier County website and the only clue i have is that "other" is an option for the "groom's birthplace" field on the registration. I've also looked on the US's immigration site but they only seem to have info for people looking to settle. I'm looking for some kind of webpage somewhere that lays out what the rules are, so that I can make sure I do all the right things in advance to make this a viable backup plan. Thanks in advance for your help!

China for a non-Mandarin Speaker?

Jimmie — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:46:31 -0800

My girlfriend of six years is getting an expat position in Beijing for 2+ years. Her company originally said they would help me find a job, but with the economy going down it seems they are less optimistic about me being able to find a expat position. How can I optimize my chances of getting a job in a foreign country? We are from the United States. I like my current job, but we know my current company doesn't do the work from home thing so I can't just keep this job while doing it long distance in China... and at the end of it of course I prefer to stay with my girlfriend than to stick with work.

I can't get a job with her company, we have tried, because my work background and industry (software development, user interface development, and data visualization) is vastly different from hers (engineering, food manufacturing). To make this even more selfish, I prefer to get an expat package, as the salary for one would be comparable to what I make now in the United States versus the local Chinese salary of perhaps only 10-20% of what I make now.

To realize my chances:

- Do companies hire people for expat positions even though they've never worked for the company before?

- What's the best way to look for a job in China as a foreigner, especially since I doubt I can go to China under a tourist visa and start looking for jobs as that is probably illegal?

- Are local wages as drastically different as I am reading about versus a "foreigners" salary in the United States?

- I plan on visiting sometime in May for about two weeks, so if I can setup interviews while I am visiting her that would be great, but is that just wishful thinking?

- Another option is finding a job where I program from home; are there any sites or resources to find jobs of this type?

Also, I don't want to be an English teacher (want to at least be able to maintain my career and do something I know I love), plus I don't speak Chinese/Mandarin... which obviously makes it harder for me to find a position. Thank you!