Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with euthanasia

Show me evidence that laws alter the normative landscape of society.

atmosphere — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 20:22:59 -0800

I am looking for evidence / examples to support the concept that laws affect the moral / cultural landscape of society. I am studying the morality of euthanasia at the moment, and am investigating the concept that when principals are enshrined in law, they can, over time, alter the values / socially accepted norms of the society the law applies to. Specifically, the legalization of active voluntary euthanasia could change the role / perception of death in society in a detrimental manner.

I am looking for anything to do with the role laws play in the development of the moral / cultural landscape of society. Although my question is not necessarily specific to euthanasia, it would definitely be extra useful if you have euthanasia specific suggestions.

I am looking for both philosophical thought experiments or discussions as well as possibly empirical data, if it exists. Thanks in advance for your help hivemind.

My friend thinks she's selfish for wanting her dogs back.

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:06:41 -0800

How do I convince my friend that she didn't make a mistake in choosing to put her dogs down, and that she's not selfish for missing them. On Monday my very close friend had to make the hard decision, along with her husband, to put down her dogs. We knew it was coming... Petey had rectal cancer with tumors and infection, requiring washing his behind every few days, and Patches fell a lot and had been wearing a diaper for a few months due to incontinence. But Monday morning Petey fell for the first time and could not get up, and would not stop yelping and, as she put it, "screaming." The dogs had pain pills from the vet and they had to give Petey 5 pills to get him to stop crying. Having been together their whole lives, she decided to have them both put down at the same time. Her family, and the vet, thought it was probably a little past time to have them put down. The vet had told her late last year to consider it.

Now she keeps second-guessing her decision, saying that maybe she should have kept Patches a little longer, since he wasn't really suffering. Or that she could have helped them both for another week until their birthday, when they would have turned 17. (Their birthday was the day before her own, and I don't think having them put down closer to her birthday would have helped her at all. She already doesn't want to celebrate it this year.)

Not only is she second-guessing herself, she also thinks she is a horrible, selfish person, because she wants them back. She knows that it was kind to end their suffering, but she says she would rather have them suffer here for one more night and have them with her, than to have them gone. I've tried telling her that missing them and wanting them back is just a normal part of grief, but she still thinks she's an awful person.

I'm at a loss as to how to help her any further. Is there anything more I can say or do to address her feelings of selfishness, other than be there to support her and assure her it's normal to wish they were still alive? She does believe they're in a better place, whether Heaven or the Rainbow Bridge or wherever.

When to let go?

amicamentis — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:35:02 -0800

When should we consider euthanasia if our cat is not (visibly) in pain? Our cat, Kitty, is 16 and a half. She lives with my parents and I've been hearing updates for the last few months about how little she has been eating. Occasionally, she will hide under my dad's work desk and only come out a few hours later.

Now, my mom says that Kitty has eaten even less recently, and is 'skin and bones'. However, she says that Kitty has been doing normal things (sleeping, mainly) is acting generally as she would otherwise. Several questions:

1) Even if Kitty isn't showing any signs of disease or ailment, is she still hurting? How can you tell?
2) Please, without being too graphic, how would a decline like this normally end? Would she die in her sleep, peacefully, or would things get much worse?
3) She hates the vet and my mother doesn't want her last moments to be an anxiety and stress-filled car ride. Do you have any recommendations for a veterinarian in the southern Pittsburgh area that will do euthanasia house calls if this should become necessary?

I appreciate any and all comments. I'm going home to see her in a week.

Daisy attacked & damaged 3 dogs, has heartworm, severe separation anxiety: is it time to put her down?

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:40:57 -0800

My dog has damaged (bitten through the skin) 3 other dogs and was just diagnosed with heartworm. I know it's a bit impersonal to ask online, but can help me figure out when it is time to consider putting down my pet? Daisy was adopted 3 years ago as a rescue dog, she was 1-2 years old and basically an adolescent, now an adult. She has attacked 3 dogs who were allowed in our house and damaged two of them. She has also attacked a family member's dog in that dog's house after they had spent much time there together over the past 3 years. In each case the damage was 1-2 lacerations caused by Daisy's teeth and on the area around the other dogs' shoulders.

We were concerned after her most recent episode that she may be ill as friends told us a sick dog can change it's behavior ... so we took her to the vet and found out that she is heartworm positive. We're waiting for the results of a confirmation test and an x-ray, possibly to follow up with a sonogram then the relatively costly (estimated at $650-1300) treatment which cannot guarantee a positive outcome.

Beyond these issues, Daisy has a severe case of "separation anxiety" which has improved over time, but is still classified as severe. She no longer damages herself while waiting for us to return home, but she has destroyed plenty of carpet, a door frame, and damaged some other items around the house. She is now able to eat a small amount while we're away, but still refuses to drink to the point that she will vomit bile if left alone for more than 8 hours. This makes her potential for adoption limited especially in light of her inability to be trusted in a home with another dog.

Given that (1) Daisy cannot live in a home with another dog or where interaction with other dogs must be closely monitored, (2) her separation anxiety makes her a poor candidate for adoption because of the damage she will likely cause to a new owner's home if left alone, (3) her dog-aggressive behavior, and (4) the risks and costs of heartworm treatment, is it time to put her down?

For now our plan is to contact a behaviorist and have her evaluated for dog and person aggression then continue her heartworm treatment if they think she can be rehabilitated to a reasonable degree.

My wife and I are very attached to Daisy, this makes decisions about her very hard to separate from our feelings. Our family (who also love Daisy) have let us know that they think it is time to let her go and find another rescue dog who otherwise would be facing death. As much as I can detach myself from the situation, I think they are right, but when I consider actually following through on that I fall apart and rationalize nearly any expense or problems.

I've contacted several Bay Area shelters and foundations regarding adoption possibilities and they are inclined to not accepting her because of the temperament and health issues.

Please help with identifying resources for dealing with these questions and let me know your thoughts on our situation. Thanks for your detached wisdom and thoughts.

Follow up emails can be sent to daisydogquestion@yahoo.com

Yet Another Cat Euthanasia Question

pookzilla — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:43:36 -0800

Is it time to put our Crabby Abby to sleep? Our rescue, Abby (photo here, artists rendition here) is heading downhill. She's a 11-12 year old black cat who's extremely obese. My fiance rescued her and her brother in this state and our efforts to help her lose weight haven't been successful. She never responded to the weight loss food the way her brother did (although not obese, he is now diabetic. I have NO idea how she managed to avoid that...) The obvious side effect of her weight issue is that she has severe arthritis. When it was diagnosed a few years back we treated it successfully with an anti-inflammatory for dogs as well as glucosamine. That worked well for some time, but about a year ago we noticed it was wearing off. She was no longer able to make it downstairs to the litter box, and she didn't move around much. After upping her dosage and putting a litter box upstairs she seemed to improve for some time but she's taking another turn down now. She's unable to get into the litter box and doesn't often move unless there is food involved. When she does move, she typically stumbles and falls after a half-dozen steps or so. We can no longer pick her up without causing her pain (as her growls would indicate) but she still loves to snuggle (on the floor) and seems quite happy when doing so. We could up her medication dosage more, but it's already at a level that'd be borderline unhealthy for a small dog. It's just not working for her anymore...

I'm conflicted as to whether or not it's time. Her quality of life isn't what it used to be, but she still has very happy moments. Further confusing the issue is that my mother passed away just last month and the idea of losing Abby right now is very hard to swallow - I love her a lot. I feel that I'm in a place where no matter what I do I'm going to feel guilt. If I give her more time I'm a selfish cow for making her suffer, if I let her ghost go I'm a selfish cow for taking the easy way out...

Objectively, if you saw a cat that hardly moved, couldn't get into a litter box, couldn't reach her own back end to clean it, had trouble walking, BUT seemed to be a very happy, loving cat otherwise, what would you think? Is it time?

Help me grieve for my pug

yodelingisfun — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:32:13 -0800

I had to put my 13 year old pug to sleep last night. I'm just devastated. I know it's really soon but I did have some time to think about it all since she had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure in November. Reba was my best friend and I'd really like to DO something, anything to honor her memory and maybe somehow make me feel a little better. I know there are a lot of pet lovers here, what things helped you get through this situation? I opted to not have her ashes returned to me so that's out but otherwise, I'm just...lost.

I need to have a life, but she will lose hers.

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 17:54:35 -0800

My cat has had a great 20-year life full of affection, good food, lolling in the sun and catching mice, and though I'd like her to have more, I can't manage it. How can I think about this most wisely? I want to feel better than I do. I feel horrible. Conversely, is there some option I have missed? I've done everything I can, and the only thing I have left to do next still doesn't feel right. I have set a date to have her put to sleep, the 24th. The backstory is complicated, but I will try to condense it. Basically, I need to go out of the country for a couple of months, and maybe longer next year, though by then I could probably take her with me. I need to go again to be with the one who loves me, the only person who did in these 40+ years. He couldn't get a visa to come here. Last year I left her alone with an expensive pet sitter to come and do the subcutaneous fluids daily. Honey (nickname) was freako from being alone. She depends on me for affection and serious tummy massage for her pain. She is very affectionate and doesn't mind being left with someone else in the house, but I couldn't get a real house sitter either.

I read these two threads on pet euthanasia but they don't quite solve my problem.

Her quality of life is good, despite the kidney failure, if I am here all the time to care for her. I work from home, so I have taken very good care of her. About once a year or so she has an episode. One was bleeding in her urine over several random days. One was can't eat and vomiting yellow slime. I take her to the vet and he gives me the technical fix and I go home and nurse her back to a stable state. I have been giving her subcu fluids for almost 4 years. She loves getting them. It's an 8-minutes' break of comfort and affection.

Were she a person, the person would say, "Let me live." I knew someone who died of cancer last week. He didn't choose euthanasia to avoid the decline, and I don't believe my cat wants to give up the ghost, though she was almost that bad during her episodes at times. But I need to have a life too. I have tried to get someone to care for her for a couple of months, but haven't found anyone who can cope with all of the above, and I can't really afford the pet sitter at $17 a day on top of everything else. She can't be in a kennel because she can't get the shots. Too weak. Ditto for getting her teeth cleaned again, too weak for anaesthetic. She can get a rabies-free certificate without a shot, and she might survive that one long flight in future if she gets the chance.

I had to euthanize a very sick cat before. I held him at the vet's office. He was basically on IV and would have had to stay on it. He was ready to go. I don't agree on avoiding the decline, as I don't believe she is "ready to die." I will take her to the vet and she will not be nervous or scared. She will go peacefully, and I will always have a wound of guilt inside me. It's like killing part of myself that's not ready to go. But I need to have my life.

Explaining euthanasia to a preschooler

dejah420 — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 19:00:27 -0800

Share your personal stories about explaining euthanasia to a preschooler. I have a 21 year old cat who has become simply miserable. Drastic lifesaving measures would only prolong her discomfort at this point. I love my cat, and don't want to put her down, but I believe I'm going to follow the vets recommendation.

However, despite my familiarity with psychological and ethical implications of death and dying, and despite reading tons of stuff on the web about explaining death to preschoolers, I find myself tearing up and getting emotional when I even think about taking Elderly Cat to the vet, and haven't been able to formulate a method for talking to my son about what is going to happen. I want to be honest with him, and I want him to realize that death is an inevitable part of life, but I don't want him to be frightened.

So, I'm asking for personal stories about explaining a pet's death or euthanasia to a child. What worked for you? How did you find the strength to hold yourself together and not be a soggy weeping mess? Would you, in this case, even try to explain euthanasia, or would you just tell him she passed on? I think I'm so upset about losing my long term cuddle buddy that I'm not thinking very clearly.

No ashes, what to do?

lost_cause — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:29:56 -0800

DeadDogFilter: My vet lost my dog's ashes - what should I do? I had to have my dog euthanized, and the vet hospital didn't have the ashes returned to me. I'm sad and angry - anybody have any ideas what I ought to do here?

Last September, my 10-year-old Weimaraner was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I had about two months to plan on how I wanted to deal with my best friend dying, and the thought of scattering her ashes at some of our favorite places made it a little easier to take. I talked to my vet beforehand about the procedure, when to know the time, and everything went exactly as he described. He did his best to make things easier on all of us - I really appreciate this man's concern for my dog's well being during her life and her death. I have nothing but respect for him.

Afterwards, I went to the front desk to settle up and to make the final arrangements. The vet tech asked how I wanted the body disposed of, and I said "Creamated."
"Do you want an urn?"
"Nah, you can give 'em to me in a plastic bag for all I care."
"But you don't want an urn?"
"No, I really don't care to buy their urn."
"Ok, we can call you in a few days, or you can check back when you're ready."
"Thanks, let me give you a call."

After about a week, I went back and the tech above handed me a manilla envelope:
"This is it?" [says me]
"Pardon?"
"I just thought there'd me more."
"There's a certificate and maybe a lock of hair in there."
"The ashes...??"
"You said you didn't want an urn."
"Right, I didn't want to pay for some ugly-ass urn, but I wanted the ashes. That's why I said that you could even give me them in a plastic bag."
"Oh my god, I feel awful..."

Apparently if you want your dog's ashes back, you have to buy an urn. If you don't want an urn, they just throw your dog in the fire with a bunch of others, and just do whatever with the collective ashes.

Realizing that there was absolutely no solution to the problem - I wanted my dog's ashes and they didn't exist anymore - I let go of the urge to absolutely stomp this woman's fucking head in and humbly left, hoping I'd learn to deal with it. Eight months later, sometimes I still cry a little bit about how all that happened. Can somebody please tell me what I can do? Should I be pissed and maybe raise hell with them? Or should I try to accept it as one of those things that I have to bear?

You people are smart, and I'm at a loss. Please help.

I need advice on pet euthanasia.

tristero — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 13:19:23 -0800

Have you ever had a pet euthanized? I need advice on the process. My 18 year old cat has renal kidney failure and is showing tell-tale signs of winding down. She's begun having difficulties walking and is showing significant loss of appetite. She was given 6 months to live over 2 years ago now and before this latest stretch has been as healthy and active as could be expected.

How do you know when it's the right time to put a beloved member of your family down? She generally has a habit of panicking when in the veterinarian's office and I want her final moments to be as stress-free and calm as possible.

Any advice?

How long do you want the feeding tube?

bruceyeah — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:11:49 -0800

Has the Terri Schiavo situation led you to tell a loved one how long you'd wish to to be kept alive if you're completely incapacitated? If so, how long? We decided 5 years if we're in a vegetative state, 10 years for being in a coma.

When to euthanize a pet?

donovan — Tue, 16 Nov 2004 18:45:55 -0800

Any advice on how to pick the proper moment to send a beloved cat to the great beyond? [more inside] I love my cat Camille. She's been part of the family for 12 years. She has an inoperable and growing liver tumor. She's still purring and meowing and we're pampering the hell out of her. She's a bit less active than normal. I'm aware of the trap of keeping her going for our sake, and really am trying to focus on her quality of life, which seems OK at the moment. But cats are pretty inscrutable and their natural tendency is to hide weakness and pain. Has anybody got tips for divining when the time is right to make a date with the needle? 8-(