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Ok to ask?

If I'm invited to a cocktails only and dancing wedding reception, may I ask to bring a date? [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Aug 31, 2010 - 48 answers

 

social etiquette filter: how do you handle someone butting in line, in front of you?

social etiquette filter: how do you handle someone butting in line, in front of you? [more inside]
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey on Aug 27, 2010 - 39 answers

What do I need to know to survive at a jazz jam session?

I've played jazz for many years, but never done the jam session thing. What rules of etiquette should I follow? [more inside]
posted by IjonTichy on Aug 26, 2010 - 5 answers

Thanks for the money, I'm gonna spend it all on fancy hats!

Received a small scholarship--any etiquette tips? [more inside]
posted by aka burlap on Aug 18, 2010 - 8 answers

How can I salvage a bad sell on eBay?

My first sale on eBay was a new and unused mobile phone. Turns out that (unknown to me) it wasn’t new and has been used before. This is starting to turn into a bit of a disaster for an eBay virgin and threatens to tar me with a poor sellers rating. Can seasoned eBay’ers please give me some advice! [more inside]
posted by mr_silver on Aug 18, 2010 - 25 answers

Should I be tipping Dr. Sofa?

Should I be tipping Dr. Sofa? [more inside]
posted by oinopaponton on Aug 15, 2010 - 6 answers

What's appropriate in the world of online dating?

OnlineDatingEtiquetteFilter: I'm somewhat new to the online dating scene, opting for free sites such as OKCupid. As a guy interested in women, there's a few points of etiquette that I'm just not exactly sure how to handle. A series of questions after the cut. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2010 - 30 answers

Can I hang out at the bar if I'm dating the bartender?

Dating a bartender - is it ok to hang out at the bar? (But me and the bar began our relationship first!) [more inside]
posted by teststrip on Aug 11, 2010 - 21 answers

My schedule is totally not interested in you

Mind-reading Filter: What does this mean - "Well, I'm totally booked up this week... I don't know what my schedule is next week." [more inside]
posted by XMLicious on Aug 10, 2010 - 21 answers

Combatting Transphobia 101?

Dear enlightened AskMe, can you help me talk well, make clear points and provide quality links to nerdy teenagers on the internet about transgender issues? [more inside]
posted by Mizu on Aug 10, 2010 - 11 answers

Trying to find the line between Good Samaritan and Creepy McCreeperson

I saw a woman weeping on the subway and I did nothing. Was that the appropriate response? [more inside]
posted by soonertbone on Aug 1, 2010 - 84 answers

A friend distributed my awful resume. Now what?

I sent a possibly-horrible resume to an influential friend, who graciously passed it along. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2010 - 7 answers

What is the best way to ruin someone's wedding plans?

Yes, sure I'll play piano at your wedding. But now it's a week before the wedding and changes have been made that I'm not musically capable of handling! What do I do? [more inside]
posted by kataclysm on Jul 27, 2010 - 43 answers

How do I stick up for my beliefs and not be a member of the PC police?

How do I stick up for my beliefs while not being a member of the PC police? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Jul 24, 2010 - 25 answers

How do I communicate employment enthusiasm without alienating anyone?

How do I explain a belated e-mail in a professional context? And how does one write a letter of inquiry to someone who already has the job? Bean-plate overthinking inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2010 - 4 answers

Did I overreact about the towel thing?

In my gym at a large academic institution: this guy took my towel today by mistake in the locker room, in the showers (we were both in the showers, he got out first). He didn't tell me, but left me to figure out that he had left his towel on the other side of the other shower that he had used. I was perplexed and angry. Should I have been so pissed? More below. [more inside]
posted by dubitable on Jul 21, 2010 - 33 answers

Sorry, your friend's not hot enough.

How do I deal with people pushing blind dates, when love is not (for the moment) blind? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2010 - 15 answers

I want to hang out with my friend!

I invited a friend to go to an event, and then she invited her boyfriend and other friends. I don't really want to hang out with her other friends! What do I do now? [more inside]
posted by so_gracefully on Jul 8, 2010 - 44 answers

How to be politically correct while still being political?

How do I politely back out of political/social commentary without appearing uninformed? [more inside]
posted by Miss Mitz on Jul 4, 2010 - 24 answers

WeddingFilter: "You're not invited"

How do I politely say "you aren't invited to my wedding" to (almost) all of our guests. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2010 - 54 answers

Dogs and public parks

I was just called an A-hole for letting my dog pee on a bush in a public park. Is this a typical reaction? [more inside]
posted by deadweightloss on Jun 20, 2010 - 54 answers

What should I do about a dog that is not supposed to live in the building?

The renters upstairs have a dog. Our lease clearly states no pets, and the dog barks all the time. I've talked to the guys upstairs about the dog, and they told me he would only be there another week. That was one month ago, and I still hear and see the dog daily. Should I approach the landlord, or is that petty? [more inside]
posted by superlibby on Jun 11, 2010 - 35 answers

How do you break up with your doctor?

He wants a new doctor. I need to keep a good relationship with the once he's about to dump. [more inside]
posted by Sweetie Darling on Jun 7, 2010 - 9 answers

9:30 Sunday night phone call? Someone better be dead.

Businesslike behavior: Is it different today for 20-somethings? Maybe I'm just old... [more inside]
posted by lothar on Jun 4, 2010 - 27 answers

I'm sorry, I can't understand you

You're at a loud party, or you have a bad phone connection, or the other person has a thick accent. Whatever the culprit is, you're having trouble understanding what the other person is saying. You've already asked them to repeat what they were saying, but still, no dice. How do you handle this politely and gracefully?
posted by estlin on May 31, 2010 - 20 answers

If you tell me just go with "queer" I'll know you're messing with me.

Is "LGBT" the official designation for any particular organization or group, or is it simply an accepted social convention, like saying "white people" or "ball players?" [more inside]
posted by snapped on May 31, 2010 - 16 answers

Avoiding mealtime awkwardness.

You're out to eat with another person, or a group of people. You're not hungry or are a light eater, so you've finished your meal before everyone else. During the natural pause when everyone takes a bite/chews, where do you look/what do you do to avoid the awkwardness of watching everyone else eat? [more inside]
posted by biochemist on May 24, 2010 - 29 answers

Should guys stay alone in their unsuccessful social situations?

Relatively unfriendly guy, exceedingly caring and friendly with good-looking girl. Help me understand this social behavior -- and should I do anything? [more inside]
posted by knz on May 22, 2010 - 21 answers

How to ask a prickly question about wedding gifts?

Prickly wedding etiquette question: We got married a little ways back, had a wonderful wedding, an unforgettable honeymoon, and are now back in the real world again. We're ready to sit down and write our thank-you cards, and have run into a slight... hiccup. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2010 - 43 answers

I hope every delicious bite was tainted by the shame of what a selfish person you are

A woman caused a scene and walked out with a significant amount of food at my parents anniversary party. Should I write her a scathing email? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder on May 17, 2010 - 76 answers

How to abbreviate multiple degrees

What is the best practice for listing two degrees after a name in an email signature, when the degrees weren't earned as a joint degree? For example, if the degrees are JD and MPA, should it be JD/MPA, JD+MPA, or some other combination? Maybe just a comma between them? JD/MPA would be the obvious choice for a joint degree, but these are from different universities and earned at different times. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2010 - 16 answers

laundry room etiquette

When using a shared laundry room if someone puts a basket with clothes and whatnot in front of the washer you are using do you have to let them have the next wash even if you are not finished with all of your laundry? What if your other loads are in the apartment and therefore not visible to the person? Is it even polite to set your basket down like that? What if there are very few washers? Or only one? I googled all around to try and find a satisfactory answer to this but I am not finding it, so I am asking for a collection of opinions!
posted by missmle on May 3, 2010 - 34 answers

Smith residence, Sally speaking!

How do children learn phone etiquette in a world with no landlines? [more inside]
posted by Eyebrows McGee on Apr 26, 2010 - 22 answers

Advice for a first-time maid of honor

WeddingFilter: When bridal shower arrangements get out of hand [more inside]
posted by TrishaLynn on Apr 8, 2010 - 37 answers

How to balance a PhD waitilist with PhD acceptance?

How do I balance my waitlisting to a wonderful PhD program with not messing up my acceptance to a great PhD program? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2010 - 13 answers

Do I have to return this present?

EtiquetteFilter: A business partner's wife handed me a gift for my wife on my latest visit. Said business partner is from (and lives in) the Middle East, same goes for his wife. Their family background is muslim, though they are not really practicing it. I hardly know his wife (met her only twice) and both of them don't know my wife at all. What is the meaning of such a present? Should we give her a present in return? If so, should it be more or less costly than the one for my wife (they are wealthy, far more than I am).
posted by cronholio on Mar 31, 2010 - 4 answers

Just a head of iceberg lettuce and a fork, please

I am in the midst of applications for professional positions in my field. Often the people doing the hiring will fly interview candidates out to their location for a day-long interview process, which includes meals with people on the search committee. How can I gracefully request that they accommodate my vegan diet? [more inside]
posted by Fui Non Sum on Mar 22, 2010 - 10 answers

pre-interview etiquette filter

Pre-interview etiquette: I've received a schedule for a job interview, a good half hour of which is pegged for a practical exercise. I'm not sure what this would entail in the context of the job, and I would like a little more information about it. Is it acceptable to email the HR officer I've been corresponding with asking for a rough idea of what the exercise is? How can I phrase this without sounding like I'm asking for a cheat-sheet? [more inside]
posted by the cat's pyjamas on Mar 11, 2010 - 6 answers

She's picked Bachelor No. 2, folks!

Dating Etiquette - gently letting a suitor know someone else has been picked instead of him, without burning the bridge. [more inside]
posted by lizbunny on Mar 7, 2010 - 31 answers

What to do about a smelly workplace?

How can I get my coworkers from compulsively using air freshener, as it gives me a terrible, go-home-early migraine? Asking nicely every day for the last week has been unsuccessful. [more inside]
posted by kella on Mar 5, 2010 - 28 answers

How can I share office birthday treats without seeming like a pompous six year-old?

How do I let people know there are birthday treats for me, from me, in the office kitchens without sounding like OMG ITS MY BIRFDAY PAY ME SOME ATTENTIONS? [more inside]
posted by ShadePlant on Mar 5, 2010 - 27 answers

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Wedding Invitation Etiquette - my husband and I are hosting and paying for my stepdaughter's wedding and she has just ordered the invitations without involving us in any way - shouldn't the invitations be sent from the hosts - her father and I? I'm not concerned about the style or cost but I thought we would have the honor of extending the invitations or at least reviewing the contents before they are sent out. Or am I being hopelessly old-fashioned? Thoughts?
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2010 - 53 answers

Tipping when waitstaff get paid minimum wage

As a result of my family, I've been a fairly mindful tipper for restaurants/bars/etc. involving service and have adjusted the percentage I tip based on what's considered the norm irrespective of quality of service (now, doubling tax which is close to 10% in CA and rounding up). I ran across minimum wages for tipped employees as a result of an argument with a cheap tipper and discovered that in CA waitstaff is paid at least minimum wage ($8, and higher in SF) without tip credit. I've looked at previous AskMes about dealing with bad tippers, contextual tipping, and others. Knowing that tipping in CA no longer goes toward maintaining basic wages, (based on size/# of staff, i.e. tip out), would it be socially acceptable to move toward a quality-based criteria for the value of the tip, and what would you consider an appropriate minimum assuming a properly run restaurant where employees are getting paid on-time and full salaries? Feel free to correct me if I've misunderstood anything.
posted by palionex on Feb 28, 2010 - 43 answers

If a customer service professional is wearing a nametag, should I use thier name?

Is it polite and respectful to use a service person's name if thier job requires the use of a name tag? [more inside]
posted by dchrssyr on Feb 24, 2010 - 83 answers

Is it rude to invite a vegan if you can't guarantee he can eat anything?

Is it rude to invite a vegan to a potluck where you can't guarantee there will be anything he'll eat? My flatmates and I are hosting a potluck dinner. I have no control over any of the dishes except my own, which is and must remain meat. None of the other guests are even vegetarian, and I suspect very few if any are used to cooking for vegans (e.g., no butter in the mashed potatoes). I would really like to see this person, but I cringe at the thought of bringing him to the proverbial groaning board and pointing out the one salad that hasn't been sprinkled with bacon bits. Help?
posted by d. z. wang on Feb 19, 2010 - 58 answers

In over my head

My girlfriend has etiquette and class - I don't. Help! [more inside]
posted by TheDukeofLancaster on Feb 9, 2010 - 29 answers

Ballroom dance question.

Things with my ballroom dance partner aren't working out. Should I dump him, and if so, how can I do it without getting a bad reputation in the community? [more inside]
posted by psycheslamp on Jan 29, 2010 - 8 answers

Teach me the best etiquette for working with a real estate agent

I am looking to buy a home for the first time, and I have questions about working with real estate agents. How much time should I expect a real estate agent to spend with me? Three days a week? Eight hours a day? [more inside]
posted by bleary on Jan 29, 2010 - 25 answers

The Late Thomas Jefferson?

What are the guidelines for referring to a deceased individual as "late"? [more inside]
posted by Jeff Howard on Jan 27, 2010 - 12 answers

Community health

What's the best method to be ok around an ex? [more inside]
posted by miles1972 on Jan 25, 2010 - 12 answers

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