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No photos, please?

Is it okay to ask guests not to take photos during our wedding ceremony? [more inside]
posted by just_ducky on Jun 9, 2013 - 30 answers

What can I do for my downstairs neighbors?

My downstairs neighbors are two of the sweetest people I know. They've done me many favors, from bringing food to inviting me for dinner to watching my cat. I would like to do something in return, but can't think of anything I could do that's equivalent to their generosity. [more inside]
posted by schroedinger on Jun 5, 2013 - 25 answers

No cell phone in doctor's exam room? Why?

Just called a friend with a severed tendon to see how his visit to the doctor went and he was still in the exam room. He said he had to get off the phone because there was a sign saying "no cell phones in exam room." I'm wondering why the sign is there. He was alone at the time, waiting for the doctor to return. Is the rule due to an equipment issue, or is it because of doctors being annoyed by rude patients talking on cell phones while the doctor is examining them, or something else?
posted by mediareport on May 31, 2013 - 24 answers

Gross incident: apologize or ignore?

I made a dinner faux pas that I would like to get input on how to handle afterwards. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 33 answers

Does the dot suffix of a website's name matter?

How important is having a .com suffix to the perceived legitimacy of a website? How does it affect traffic/success, etc? Does holding onto .com as the ideal make sense in this world of domain squatters? Can we make a list of good and bad choices?
posted by letstrythis on May 22, 2013 - 24 answers

Have I been going about quitting all wrong?

I'm about to quit my job. I'm becoming increasingly aware that this is going to come as a huge surprise to my boss and coworkers. Should I have been dropping hints? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2013 - 21 answers

Getting married after getting married: the insurance-panic edition

Help me, etiquette mavens of AskMe! Fiance and I are in the midst of planning a wedding for this fall, but we just found out that he's losing his health insurance soon. How ok is it to have a courthouse ceremony now, but still hold a "real" wedding in the fall? [more inside]
posted by badgermushroomSNAKE on May 21, 2013 - 107 answers

Order of names in a letter signature matter when sent from a couple?

My wife and I were writing a brief thank-you note to some friends, and she was helping to edit. I then signed it off as 'Arandia & Wife' -- only my wife says that it should be 'Wife & Arandia', since *I* wrote the letter and it is coming from my email address. [more inside]
posted by Arandia on May 21, 2013 - 17 answers

Ettiquette filter: Do I warn them I am diseased?

We have dinner plans with a couple (A & B) they're calling in just under 2 hours. I woke up today with a stinking cold. It's got worse all day. I feel crap and I'm not looking forward to a night in a loud restaurant, shouting cos my ears are blocked, and blowing my nose every minute. But my SO hates cancelling plans, and doesn't want to go out with the other couple without me as he'll feel "like a gooseberry" (even though he's known A for 20 years, and they're very sweet, nice people). I'm begrudgingly going to make myself go. Then it dawned on me - is it actually ruder to turn up with the cold and probably pass it on to them (as we're sharing a taxi there and I'm at the constant sneezing/sniffling stage), or just to cancel? [more inside]
posted by billiebee on May 18, 2013 - 27 answers

Habits of highly obnoxious tumblrs

I'm using Tumblr for the first time (link in profile) and posting lots of quotes (as 'text') every day. I don't want to spam people or muck up their dashboard, so please enlighten me about bad or annoying things people do on Tumblr so I can learn from their mistakes.
posted by Foci for Analysis on May 18, 2013 - 15 answers

Get thee to the ER, stat!

Is this a normal amount of time to expect to wait when YOU'RE BLEEDING IN THE DAMN BRAIN?! [more inside]
posted by youandiandaflame on May 4, 2013 - 11 answers

How to politely decline people on internet dating sites?

What are the best ways to politely decline people on internet dating sites? [more inside]
posted by deern the headlice on May 2, 2013 - 27 answers

Not Quite Jim and Pam

In a dating scenairo, when a girl respond to a guy's request for a date with a nonspecific "maybe some other time," does it actually means "No"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2013 - 32 answers

Yet Another Tipping Question

I usually over tip--22-25 percent. But I was confused about something that happened tonight. I went to a new bar, kind of a renovated dive, with a friend. We both ordered cocktails, I ordered a charchturie (sp) platter and he ordered a pizza. My food came right away, and both of our drinks came quickly. The bar was empty for our first drinks, but was filling up quickly. We ordered a second drink. The bar was filled with people that the bar tender seemed to know. The second drink came. No sign of pizza, it was more than an hour at this point. We remind the bartender, who is also the server twice. He finally says, five minutes, and five minutes later, the pizza comes. This would have been 90 minutes. No offer to comp the food, no apologies, but the food was really good, the drinks were strong, and I would like to go back...I tipped 4 on a 32 bill, after tax. They also split the bill in a weird manner. My friends kind of shy, so I took his lead, and didn't complain. How much should I have tipped? Should I have complained? Should I go back to complain? What's the protocol here?
posted by PinkMoose on Apr 28, 2013 - 25 answers

Should I play it cool?

I had an interview a week ago with an HR person and was told the company would be in touch soon, they liked my resume, etc. Since then... nothing much. I know who my next interviewer would be. Would there be anything weird about... emailing them and asking for an interview? Or should I wait?
posted by kettleoffish on Apr 23, 2013 - 10 answers

Fond of Fondly?

What are your thoughts about the closing "Fondly," -- is it a little weird? [more inside]
posted by RingerChopChop on Apr 5, 2013 - 47 answers

Politely parenting my kid's playdates?

My preschooler is getting just old enough to have a proper social life (playdates, birthday parties, etc.). I've got some specific questions about the parental etiquette expectations surrounding these kiddie get-togethers. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Apr 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Social Math: 1+1=/=1

Suggestions for nice things to do for the couples who are nice to you (especially when you're single and kind of broke)? [more inside]
posted by xenization on Apr 3, 2013 - 18 answers

Friend Ettiquete: Missing the Wedding, Do I Make the Bachelor's Party?

Is it worth it to fly home for my friend's bachelor party? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2013 - 14 answers

casual hookup etiquette for the post-serially monogamous citizen

After many years of monogamy followed by several years of celibacy (continually enforced by the fact that, out of raw fiscal necessity, I will continue to share a house and mortgage with my ex for the indefinite future), a chance encounter has left me with the opportunity to enjoy one (or, fingers crossed, more than one!) casual hookup(s) with a breathtakingly attractive near-stranger. Can you walk me through this process -- safety, guidelines, what to do/not do or say, etc. -- like a complete newbie? [more inside]
posted by electroshock blues on Mar 25, 2013 - 15 answers

I don't want to tip my hand.

I am planning on leaving my job, and indeed my current career path, in the next 3-ish months, but for various practical reasons I want to stay for those next 3-ish months. There's a conference coming up that I would absolutely be going to if I were staying in this career. Do I sign up for the conference? If I do, the conference fee will be wasted when one of my coworkers could use the money for their own professional development (and money is tight in our department) and I'm afraid this would cause bad feelings and people would take it personally. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 18 answers

What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
posted by Lately Gone on Mar 21, 2013 - 79 answers

Proper Etiquette for Messy Foods

Let's say the Queen of England is visiting Mexico, how does she eat her taco? When she visits the US South, how does she eat ribs? Does she take off her white gloves and eat Injera in Ethopia? More or less the question is: How does "proper etiquette" work for inherently messy food items, especially those of a foreign culture, when consumed by someone of high culture/royalty?
posted by wcfields on Mar 12, 2013 - 16 answers

VEGAS, BABY!

Next month, I will be travelling to Las Vegas. For the very first time in my life. I have a whole bunch of Vegas-newbie questions. I’d like to ask you for your help. [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Feb 27, 2013 - 28 answers

How to word a party invitation without sounding tacky?

My husband mentioned to me some years ago that he'd never had an actual, cake-and-candles, friends from the neighborhood invited, hats and horns birthday party in his entire life. I'd like to give him a small surprise birthday party for his upcoming birthday in late March, but I have questions about how to actually word the invitations. [more inside]
posted by Oriole Adams on Feb 26, 2013 - 14 answers

My dream wedding is a courthouse ceremony

We've decided to get married. Yay! I am the female half of a straight couple, if that matters. In the near future, we want to go to our local (US) courthouse and have a civil ceremony with just a judge and our immediate families present: his parents, my parents, his sibling+partner, my sibling+partner+child. Later this year, we'll throw an informal party and invite our extended circles to that as a larger celebration/reception. Our immediate families are supportive of this plan and just want us to be happy, but I have already gotten some pushback from friends and it gave me pause. So I guess I have questions about the practicality and etiquette of our plan and... whatever else we haven't thought about. Neither of us has been married before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2013 - 53 answers

Human male social etiquette question.

I've asked a couple questions about building a richer social life on AskMeta, and a few times I've gotten the suggestion that I should be spending more one-on-one time with friends and acquaintances. My observations suggest that women socialize this way more often than men do. Tell me I'm wrong, then share tips. [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on Feb 21, 2013 - 16 answers

Hostess gift for a lunch tomorrow?

A coworker who I don't know all that well has invited me to lunch at her house. There are only going to be the two of us. She is not a drinker to the best of my knowledge so I think my standby bottle of wine is out (is it?) She is in her early - mid 60s and fairly formal and reserved. Failing wine, what else should I bring? Flowers? A plant? Would cookies be okay? She has been having a rough time lately healthwise and is I think rather lonely and down. I asked her what I could bring and she said "Oh nothing! Just yourself!" but let's ignore that.
posted by mygothlaundry on Feb 19, 2013 - 22 answers

It's yo' cat / It's yo' problem!

CatLivingFilter: One of my roommate's two cats has become very attached to me, probably because my roommate (by his own admission) inherited the cat from an ex relationship and never really liked it that much. That's cool--I like cats, and cats like me. What I don't like is that the cat has become so attached that it will yell inconsolably outside my door, scratch at my door, and sometimes even bash into my door in despair of not being in my room. This has become a major sleep disrupting problem for me. What can I reasonably expect my roommate to do to respond to this situation? [more inside]
posted by The Sock Puppet Sentience Movement on Feb 14, 2013 - 35 answers

Help me be gracious about my art

I have some talent at drawing, but I'm awful at accepting compliments about it, and paranoid about coming off as arrogant (...I could barely type the word 'talent' just then). Help me be less awkward and accept compliments with more dignity! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Feb 13, 2013 - 24 answers

blogs about contra dancing?

Could the hive mind recommend blogs or other writing about contra dance? I'm especially interested in discussions of technique, etiquette/custom/tradition, and calling. I've previously enjoyed Jeff Kaufman's blog and The Contra Syncretist.
posted by d. z. wang on Jan 21, 2013 - 4 answers

How to politely ask for a letter of recommendation?

How should I approach asking for a letter of recommendation when the letter writer doesn't write well in English? [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear on Jan 20, 2013 - 7 answers

Call before dropping by, is this a regional thing?

My fiance and I have different opinions about visiting and whether or not we should call first. I'm not saying either of us are right or wrong, but I'm wondering if it's a regional thing. [more inside]
posted by patheral on Jan 15, 2013 - 74 answers

Coffee 101: sociology and technology

I don't drink coffee and most of my friends don't either, but I'd like to be able to offer a nice cup to occasional visitors who do drink coffee. What type of small-scale coffee maker would be a good choice: some kind of drip and filter method? French press? Should I buy a small amount of decent quality ground coffee and hope that it keeps well between coffee drinkers? (And what would be a safe, crowd-pleasing choice?) Or should I just forget offering potentially mediocre coffee and offer everyone tea and tisanes?
posted by The True Wheel on Jan 13, 2013 - 41 answers

Keeping a beard respectable

My friend is growing a beautiful bushy beard and moustache. After several months it's wonderfully luxuriant. But, it's got to the stage where he can't eat without spillage. As for soup, forget about it - he can hardly have a mouthful before he has to wield a napkin and wipe spoonfuls away. My friend is very elegant and finds this sloppiness excruciating, especially in public. [more inside]
posted by glasseyes on Jan 11, 2013 - 21 answers

How to tell a reviewer they are wrong?

I am an academic, and I need advice on how to word my response to a review for a journal article. [more inside]
posted by pamplemousse of love on Jan 10, 2013 - 22 answers

Outgoing phone call protocol - how does it work?

When you make a call to a service or business, say, you're calling because you have a problem or require a service -- what do /you/ say? [more inside]
posted by Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

What's the etiquette on having friends visit when you're coughing?

Social-Awkwardness filter: I'm a formerly shy person who's recently been getting out there and making friends. I've been sick for the past week. A few people have asked to come over/hang out despite this. I want to know what the etiquette is when you have a persistent cough that borders on retching. Do the people who try to hang out anyway really not care or are they just being polite? Am I going to alienate people by rejecting their multiple attempts to see me? I don't understand why they wouldn't just end up being disgusted by me constantly coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose and being a sick person. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 7, 2013 - 27 answers

I like you, but I hate the gifts..

Is there a polite way to tell your significant other that you absolutely hate the gifts you've received from them for holiday? But wait!! I'm not being snooty for the reasons you'd think I would! More inside.. [more inside]
posted by baconandvodka on Dec 29, 2012 - 68 answers

What do *I* do at a pedicure?

Manicure/pedicure etiquette: What exactly do you do during the process? [more inside]
posted by aaanastasia on Dec 22, 2012 - 18 answers

lunchtime etiquette

Is it kinda assholey to ask someone to leave their desk when they're eating lunch? [more inside]
posted by phoenix_rising on Dec 21, 2012 - 63 answers

I'm not Mrs Him!

I am not Mrs Myhusband'sfirstinitial Myhusband'slastname. I keep getting Christmas cards that suggest I am. Is there any way of nicely asking people not to do this that isn't rude or churlish? [more inside]
posted by raspberry-ripple on Dec 20, 2012 - 129 answers

How to put other night-time pedestrians at ease?

I walk to and from work down residential streets. It's dark, especially in Winter. Evidently I walk faster than most other pedestrians as I'm often passing them, not vice-versa. Is there a way to reassure these other pedestrians that I am not hurrying up behind them to rob/murder/kidnap them? [more inside]
posted by TangoCharlie on Dec 6, 2012 - 54 answers

I do have some pretty stationery...

Do I need to write a thank you for the interview note under these unique circumstances? [more inside]
posted by Jess the Mess on Dec 3, 2012 - 7 answers

Can I go to a sing-along concert of the Messiah and not sing along?

Can I go to a sing-along concert of Handel's Messiah and not sing along? [more inside]
posted by colfax on Nov 23, 2012 - 14 answers

Facebook Etiquette with in-laws in mind

I am British. I have recently acquired American in-laws. They are a traditionally Republican family. I, like many Europeans, consider the current iteration of the Republican Party has passed so far beyond the pale as to no longer be a rational organisation. So I saw a post-election graphic on Facebook I would normally have shared, but...I'm wondering how this new branch of family will perceive that. [more inside]
posted by glasseyes on Nov 16, 2012 - 46 answers

To send condolences or not?

My ex-boyfriend's dad just passed away. What, if anything, should I do? [more inside]
posted by csox on Nov 16, 2012 - 24 answers

Business etiquette landmines to avoid when making a sales pitch to Japanese business owners.

Business etiquette landmines to avoid when making a sales pitch to Japanese business owners. [more inside]
posted by 256 on Nov 14, 2012 - 7 answers

Share house shower etiquette? (In Japan)

I am a guy living in a co-ed sharehouse in Japan. I may have committed a faux pas, and would like to know proper sharehouse shower etiquette. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123 on Nov 14, 2012 - 18 answers

Writing a thank-you, with a side of hurricane sympathy?

I've got a thank-you note to write to a friend of my parents'-- already quite late, since the gift was given early last month. Difficulty: since then, the recipient's house was damaged fairly badly by Hurricane Sandy, and she's been struggling with the aftermath. I feel like her current rough situation warrants some sort of extra gesture or comment beyond the usual thank-you boilerplate, but what might that be? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Nov 9, 2012 - 8 answers

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