My g/f received a call from her roommate this morning - the roommate got all Emily Post because I, having spent the night last night, left the toilet seat up. The exact words were, "he doesn't pay rent."
[more inside]
posted by notsnot
on Jun 20, 2005 -
116 answers
Does anyone have any suggestions for a good way to get in good with my new neighbors?
[more inside]
posted by softlord
on Jun 10, 2005 -
17 answers
EtiquetteFilter: An undergraduate professor of mine invited his entire class to a traditional Indian dinner at his house tonight. It is somewhat mandatory, as we will lose points on our final paper if we don't show up. Should I bring a gift, and if so, what?
Dinner is in 1 hour, so hurry please!
posted by muddgirl
on Apr 27, 2005 -
43 answers
Suppose you are talking to someone (an acquaintance, a workmate, a person at a party) who you are pretty sure is gay. This person is talking about someone s/he is dating and is being completely gender neutral. What is the appropriate response? Do you maintain gender neutrality with your questions and comments (which can get awkward and feel silly)? Do you make a comment that includes the phrase "he or she" to indicate that you're aware that it may be either and that you're nonjudgmental (but potentially putting this person on the spot to pick a gender and out him/herself)? Do you pick the likely gender and continue the conversation blithely the way most people do in assumed-heterosexual conversations (again with the potential outing)? For the purposes of this exercise, assume no one else is in earshot.
posted by xo
on Apr 25, 2005 -
51 answers
Is it overly-morbid to thank a (still-living) relative for including you in their will?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 23, 2005 -
6 answers
We're getting married in June at the courthouse. Our parents, and anyone else who's around and wants to go, is welcome to come along but we're not formally inviting anyone. We are, however inviting people to the reception, and I have questions about what the invitations should say.
[more inside]
posted by jennyb
on Apr 15, 2005 -
18 answers
I have been invited to a wedding by my friend the bride. My mortal enemy is also a friend of the bride, and has been invited to the wedding also. The bride is unaware that my enemy and I do not get along. Would it be acceptable to tell the bride that this person and I do not get along, and ask her not to seat my enemy and I near each other? Or should I try and get there early and move placecards if need be?
posted by Fat Guy
on Apr 4, 2005 -
47 answers
Weddingfilter: Church ceremony from 2 to 3pm; reception starting at 7pm, less than a half hour of travel in between. Is it too long to make people wait? Out of towners will have hotels nearby; friends might not really have anywhere to go.
[more inside]
posted by onlyconnect
on Mar 30, 2005 -
30 answers
What is the etiquette involved in using a band name that is similar to one already in existence.
[more inside]
posted by Kellydamnit
on Mar 4, 2005 -
26 answers
What is the proper etiquette/protocol for Americans greeting or addressing non-American
people of title? Does one say "Her Majesty" or "Your Highness" or "Lady So-and-So" or other formalities, if one comes from a country with egalitarian and anti-monarchist roots and beliefs, where the non-recognition of titles is even a
part of the Constitution? How about the whole curtsying thing? Where is the line commonly drawn between being polite to someone and being true to personal and national values?
[more inside]
posted by Asparagirl
on Mar 1, 2005 -
28 answers
What is American sidewalk protocol? Is it the same in Britain? [+]
posted by Frank Grimes
on Feb 18, 2005 -
17 answers
Today I tendered my two weeks notice at my job of 4 years. I spoke directly to my manager on this matter and have told no one else (at work). What is the proper etiquette regarding telling my co-workers?
[more inside]
posted by evilelf
on Feb 18, 2005 -
10 answers
A friend is hosting an event at her house tomorrow night, a kind of "salon" evening featuring a few authors, wine, and conversation. I'd like to get her some kind of hostess gift, but not the usual bottle of wine, since we'll have wine galore, and not the Bath & Body Works gift bag, since she's not that kind of gal. Any ideas?
posted by mothershock
on Feb 16, 2005 -
21 answers
Our relationship just isn't the same. My needs aren't being met anymore, no matter how much I communicate. Is it time to break up...with my stylist? [+]
[more inside]
posted by scody
on Feb 15, 2005 -
8 answers
Email.etiquette.filter - How do you all battle those annoying email relationships in which responses never come or questions you ask never get answered? Email etiquette seems to be lacking amongst many people and I have some acquaintances that send out emails, but never bother replying, or when they reply, never answer my questions or acknowledge my response. The obvious answer is to just ignore them or lower my standards, but have any of you found a method to improve the email etiquette of your friends? It can be so annoying!
posted by brheavy
on Feb 11, 2005 -
16 answers
EmploymentFilter: I'm leaving a professional position tomorrow after eight months and the requisite two weeks' notice. It hasn't been a particularly good match for me (skills, interests, etc...) but my boss has nevertheless been a good guy to work for and has both tried to find ways to use my background and skills, and to give me opportunities to learn more. Once, in passing, he mentioned a bottle of whisky he was about to try. Should I get him one to say "thanks," since I don't think there are any alcohol sensitivity issues?
[more inside]
posted by piro
on Feb 8, 2005 -
15 answers
Online dating diplomacy. If you decide after an email or two that you are not interested in the other person, either because the conversation is uninspiring or the pictures they send are unappealing, should you actually write to tell them "sorry, but I'm not interested?" Or is that worse than falling silent and letting the correspondence die? Some people persist if you don't respond, and ask "what's the deal? you didn't like my pic?" I honestly don't know what's the best thing to say, if anything. Honesty is not the same as full disclosure, and I just feel that random people really don't need to hear that I find them undesireable / uninteresting. I figure if I just stop writing, most people will simply write me off and move on. What do you think?
posted by scarabic
on Jan 31, 2005 -
38 answers
Atheists, when you attend a public event that features a prayer and you wish to be polite, do you bow your head during the prayer? Do you say "amen" with everyone else? Theists, are you annoyed when others do not bow their heads?
posted by profwhat
on Jan 20, 2005 -
97 answers
Is it considered misogynous to use "the C-word" ? It had never even occured to me that it might be until my sister asked that I never use it as it was "so anti-women." At the right moment, it's SUCH a useful word, but I don't want to appear to be "anti-women", since I'm not . Is my sister's view unusual?
posted by bunglin jones
on Jan 17, 2005 -
112 answers
Last year, a friend of mine went to Iceland where she spent a night bar-hopping with expat friends. While she was heading for the ladies' room, an Icelandic woman came up to her and proposed that they go together. My friend refused (she'd been hit on several times already and the atmosphere was rather hot) and later asked her friends about the incident: she was told that going to the lavatories in pairs was a local custom of Icelandic girls, but that she would have to accept the next proposal to find out what was actually going on down there. Of course, her friends may have just been pulling her leg, but she's still curious as she'll be back in Iceland this year... Any (girl, Icelandic) mefite with a clue to that mystery?
posted by elgilito
on Jan 17, 2005 -
11 answers
What can/should you do for a co-worker in your department who only has a few weeks left to live, and is already at the hospital?
Even if you aren't particularly close, one has the feeling one should do
something. But what?
posted by ShawnStruck
on Jan 14, 2005 -
15 answers
Is there a good way to go about returning or exhanging gifts without embarrassing anybody? [MI]
[more inside]
posted by bonheur
on Jan 3, 2005 -
14 answers
What is the best way to tell a potentially over sensitive co-worker that clipping her fingernails is not an appropriate thing to do in the office?
posted by anonymous
on Dec 28, 2004 -
40 answers
I spent my first Christmas with the boyfriend's parents this year. I showed up empty-handed, after a late "oh, mom got you some stuff, too." I came away with more in presents than I'm going to get from my own parents. Now I feel like an ass. What do I do?
[more inside]
posted by billybunny
on Dec 24, 2004 -
12 answers
What is a firm but uninsulting answer to the myriad of possible questions and comments about one's "racial appearance"? Examples of such questions are:
"What race are you?"
"Are you mixed?" [Are you black, indian, mulatto, etc.]
"Your skin is so pretty! You have an ivory complexion! Do you have caucasian in you?"
Thanks for any help you can give me, because I've been searching for a good answer to this stuff for years!
posted by Jenesta
on Dec 24, 2004 -
103 answers
MissingGiftFilter: You have your coolest uncle in the family holiday gift draw. It looks like the gift you carefully chose for him will be late - what do you do? [+]
[more inside]
posted by deliriouscool
on Dec 21, 2004 -
14 answers
WorkplaceEtiquetteFilter: I plan to give my boss his Christmas gift tomorrow. But now I've seen some people on some other sites (fark, ahem) saying that getting a gift for the boss is "ass-sucking" (they sure have a way of talking over there!). So I'm wondering: is my rather nice gift going to be perceived as my being an ass? [+]
[more inside]
posted by u.n. owen
on Dec 21, 2004 -
32 answers
I have an etiquette question: I moved to the Boston area about a year ago from Oakland California. I've never seen a full service gas station in CA (I've seen them before, just not in CA). Here in MA, most of the gas stations are full serve, which rules in the winter.
My question is this: is it appropriate and/or expected that I tip the attendant that fills up my gas tank?
posted by jaded
on Dec 13, 2004 -
26 answers
Friends who write books: My question is simple. If a friend has had a book published (not their first by any means) by a well-known publisher and one notices several typos in the text, is it best not to mention them? Or is it polite to commiserate with said friend over the lack of thoroughness on the part of the publisher? I don't want to be rude, but I want to show that I really have read the book.
posted by different
on Dec 10, 2004 -
16 answers
I am unemployed. I recently applied for 2 jobs. I'm much, much more interested in Job A. I will find out if I got Job B on Monday, while the application process for Job A will drag on until early March. Would it be unacceptable for me to accept Job B, while holding out for the potential of Job A?
Job B is a full-time, junior position at popular website with a small, close-knit staff.
posted by anonymous
on Dec 8, 2004 -
22 answers
My professor's father just died. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I really like this prof and it’s a very small class where everyone knows each other. I would like to offer some condolence, especially since this happened right before the holidays, even if it is just a short email message. Would this be appropriate? What should I say / not say?
posted by fourstar
on Dec 7, 2004 -
37 answers
Other than President, Military titles, and Dr. What jobs let you retain your title after you've stopped being employed as such? I don't mean being referred to as 'Former such and such'. I mean actually keeping the title as part of one's name or formal address.
posted by pieoverdone
on Dec 7, 2004 -
19 answers
I have just been asked to a female friends office Christmas party...If I was in High School and this was the prom, I'd have a corsage for her...any etiquette for a date to an event like this? Its a dressy-business-casual dinner...
posted by keep it tight
on Dec 5, 2004 -
11 answers
I live with two friends who are a couple -- wonderful people I've known for many years. They're great in every aspect, except for their incessant baby-talking and PDA. Now, I'm not so much of a prude that I object to cuddling and a light kiss in common areas, but these two are beginning to drive me nuts. They baby-talk, loudly, for hours in every room of the house and make out on the couch while the rest of us (I have several roommates) are watching TV, and generally just make a normally benign situation very uncomfortable. They're in their late 20s and have been together for five years, so this isn't some teenage gushfest thing. I don't want to put a damper on their happiness, but I'm finding myself gritting my teeth or having to leave the room every time I hear, "Iz my baby waby doing fwine! How is my baby-waby!" How should I keep my sanity? I'll be moving in June, so moving out isn't an option now, nor is the situation horrible enough to warrant something like that. I've also tried leaving the room very pointedly every time they begin, but that apparently hasn't gotten the idea across, either.
posted by anonymous
on Nov 28, 2004 -
24 answers
If I post a message to a public internets forum, and then decide I would like to retract my statement, is the site owner/admin under any obligation to do so? Suppose there were no Terms of Service, and user editing/deleting is not supported. What about archived threads?
posted by Jack Karaoke
on Nov 26, 2004 -
10 answers
I heard recently on NPR a
story about the new Clinton Presidential Library and how all of the gifts of original artwork sent to the President were kept as it was illegal to throw or give away any of it. The story went on that all the artwork was at the library but that there was so much that only a slight minority of it would ever be displayed. My question is, does anyone know more about this law obligating the President to keep the drawing I send him/her? Would they have to keep it even if it stunk or was otherwise somehow unappealing? I imagine you know what I'm getting at with our friend W in office for another four years...
posted by pwb503
on Nov 24, 2004 -
6 answers
Bike Rack Etiquette. Can anyone explain why certain asshats insist on parking their bikes horizontally against the front of bike racks, thereby taking up a dozen+ spaces? Am I missing something? Is there some reason beyond the obvious selfishness? Are they oblivious to the fact that pissed off people (like me) will gleefully let the air out of their tires ... or worse?
posted by RavinDave
on Nov 22, 2004 -
42 answers
I have a friend who stinks. He has horrible breath (he's a chain-smoker), and his clothes and body reek. I'm not sure what to do. It's so bad that many people have commented that it's hard to be around him. But other than the smell, he's a great guy. He's also lonely, and can't get a date. His life would be so much better if he had better hygiene. So what do I do about this? Tell him face-to-face? Send an anonymous email? Do nothing? If I do bring it up, how do I do it sensitively? Added to the problems, he's very poor. He can't even afford a phone. My guess is that part of the problem is that he's trying to save money on laundry. Still, soap is cheap. I'm trying to obey the Golden Rule, but it's hard. If I was the smelly one, I would want to be told, I guess. But I would be SO humiliated! He's in his early 40s. Really smart and literate.
posted by anonymous
on Nov 6, 2004 -
18 answers
Wat is proper kilt etiquette? For example, do you have to wear one of those little bags (a sporran I believe its called)? (MI)
[more inside]
posted by tetsuo
on Nov 1, 2004 -
13 answers
This is for a friend, I swear!
I’ve got a big date tonight and as all of you know from being my friend, though I may be a stellar conversationalist, I don’t have a good sense of boundaries and what are appropriate 1st date questions to ask. So can you all send me a list? It may also be helpful to give me a list of things not to say.
posted by rschroed
on Oct 29, 2004 -
36 answers
