In a few days I will be attending my grandmother's funeral in the south. While I love her very much, we were never particularly close. Based on my past experiences with these situations, I know myself well enough to know that I most likely won't be crying or even really upset at this funeral. Please help me prepare so I don't seem callous or further upset my grieving family.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 12, 2013 -
25 answers
I'm about to quit my job. I'm becoming increasingly aware that this is going to come as a huge surprise to my boss and coworkers. Should I have been dropping hints?
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posted by anonymous
on May 22, 2013 -
21 answers
In a dating scenairo, when a girl respond to a guy's request for a date with a nonspecific "maybe some other time," does it actually means "No"?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 29, 2013 -
32 answers
I am planning on leaving my job, and indeed my current career path, in the next 3-ish months, but for various practical reasons I want to stay for those next 3-ish months. There's a conference coming up that I would absolutely be going to if I were staying in this career. Do I sign up for the conference? If I do, the conference fee will be wasted when one of my coworkers could use the money for their own professional development (and money is tight in our department) and I'm afraid this would cause bad feelings and people would take it personally.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 22, 2013 -
18 answers
We've decided to get married. Yay! I am the female half of a straight couple, if that matters. In the near future, we want to go to our local (US) courthouse and have a civil ceremony with just a judge and our immediate families present: his parents, my parents, his sibling+partner, my sibling+partner+child. Later this year, we'll throw an informal party and invite our extended circles to that as a larger celebration/reception. Our immediate families are supportive of this plan and just want us to be happy, but I have already gotten some pushback from friends and it gave me pause. So I guess I have questions about the practicality and etiquette of our plan and... whatever else we haven't thought about. Neither of us has been married before.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 26, 2013 -
53 answers
A (white, American) friend's parents gave me a clock as a gift, which in China is really not done. This was clearly not malicious, so I'm not offended and my parents are getting over it, but I'm wondering whether there's any way to tell them not to give this particular gift to any other Chinese people they may know. The problem is that I don't know any way to broach the subject that wouldn't call attention to their faux pas, and it's entirely possible that they just don't know any other Chinese people, in which case I'd much rather avoid embarrassing them. Should I say anything, either to them or to my friend their son?
posted by anonymous
on Aug 25, 2012 -
38 answers
I’m going to be working with the (presumably unaware) friend of someone who sexually assaulted me in the past, and the perpetrator also has personal information on me that I’d rather not be made public. How should I interact with the friend personally and professionally?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 19, 2012 -
14 answers
I would like some recommendations for books on office etiquette, including things like dress, getting lunch with people, how introductions to superiors should be properly handled, dealing with my intern being sidetracked by someone else's request, etc.
If it helps, I currently work in media, East Coast U.S. I work on the tech side, but I'm having to deal with this stuff a lot anyway, and it's all new to me coming out of mostly technical positions in the past.
posted by anonymous
on Jul 16, 2012 -
5 answers
What is an appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift for myself and my guest, if I am a bridesmaid?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 26, 2012 -
16 answers
Do people give their graduate advisors presents following a successful defense? What would qualify?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 4, 2012 -
16 answers
I need a verbal and behavioral script to work from. I've experienced some recent weight gain. A relative will soon be visiting our home. Based on past experiences, I expect that he will comment on, judge, and offer advice about my weight. Please help me out.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 2, 2012 -
55 answers
Second hookup/date tips for a girl who likes to pick up guys? (How to encourage said guys to make a move the second time around).
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 15, 2012 -
18 answers
When I asked my brother if there was something in particular he would like for his upcoming wedding, he told me not to give him anything unless it was cash. I have a few issues with this request.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 14, 2012 -
79 answers
I'm a girl. You're a guy. We're making out, but we won't be doing anything past that tonight. How do I let you know that so you don't feel like I'm leading you on? Or do I let you know at all?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 14, 2012 -
25 answers
I think that a new(ish) friend of mine might be involved with a pseudo-cult. Should I express my concern or just bite my tongue?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 13, 2012 -
17 answers
How do I talk to people whose work I admire without coming across as starstruck, opportunistic, tactless, or otherwise obnoxious?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 11, 2012 -
16 answers
Am I a total snob for being embarrassed by my friend's table habit? If so, how can I fix it?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 29, 2011 -
58 answers
Ok, so I've been having this problem lately (and I think it's related to my recent depression) where I meet new people and kind of expect that I'll never develop any friendship with them, but then it actually does happen, and I realize in horror that when they bring up previous conversations we've had, I act completely clueless because I didn't bother to remember it in the first place, and they say something like, "Remember we were talking about how my mom lives literally right next door to you?" (seriously, that happened today) and I remember suddenly, but clearly have already made it obvious that I didn't remember it in the first place... That's been happening a lot lately, and I want to know how to recall what I talked about with people more.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 1, 2011 -
8 answers
Have I blown it for good? Interviewed for a job 13 days ago and then followed up with a different interviewer 5 days ago, and neglected to send thank-you notes both times. No decision has been made yet -- should I just let it go at this point, or would I still be better off sending my thanks?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 5, 2011 -
9 answers
Is it a bad idea to propose the day before (or the day of) my girlfriend's good friend's wedding?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 30, 2011 -
70 answers
I flaked out on a friend's new-baby acknowledgment... for two months! Exactly how much of a transgression is this, and what (if anything) can I do to mitigate the damage?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 16, 2011 -
22 answers
My fiancé refuses to let his parents help pay for our wedding. Should I say anything, or am I walking into a minefield?
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posted by anonymous
on May 25, 2011 -
33 answers
Is my friend being rude, or am I overreacting? And how do I get over it in time for dinner tonight?
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posted by anonymous
on May 11, 2011 -
75 answers
I need to understand the Japanese cultural importance of "saving face" with respect to business, and how I can make myself less frustrated with an ongoing business negotiation I'm involved in.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 20, 2011 -
10 answers
What is the most gracious way for me to back out of the undergraduate research I said I would take up for the upcoming fall semester, given that I've spent two semesters working in the lab already? I don't want the people I worked with to have a bad impression of me because of the fact that I demonstrated so much interest in and commitment to their field only to quit prematurely.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 15, 2011 -
12 answers
What are the best follow-up techniques to use when you lose a creative pitch or proposal?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 12, 2011 -
1 answer
A childhood friend posted some pictures of her children today on Facebook in which it appears that her older child has a common symptom of a type of cancer. Should I contact her about it, or should I stay out of it?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 17, 2010 -
24 answers
How do I offer to escorting my date home without sounding like I'm sleazily trying to invite myself back to her place?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 7, 2010 -
38 answers
I have a problem with one of the students I tutor, but I'm not sure if he realized he crossed the line.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 5, 2010 -
35 answers
There is a very small, but still nonzero, chance that my brother-in-law might be a pedophile. I have a toddler daughter who is very close to her aunt. How can I tactfully gather more information about this, and how should I handle it with my family?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 5, 2010 -
59 answers
Drama Alert: Question about returning an engagement ring after the engagement is called off.
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 29, 2010 -
42 answers
OnlineDatingEtiquetteFilter: I'm somewhat new to the online dating scene, opting for free sites such as OKCupid. As a guy interested in women, there's a few points of etiquette that I'm just not exactly sure how to handle. A series of questions after the cut.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 14, 2010 -
30 answers
I sent a possibly-horrible resume to an influential friend, who graciously passed it along. What do I do?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 28, 2010 -
7 answers
How do I explain a belated e-mail in a professional context? And how does one write a letter of inquiry to someone who already has the job? Bean-plate overthinking inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 23, 2010 -
4 answers
How do I deal with people pushing blind dates, when love is not (for the moment) blind?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 12, 2010 -
15 answers
How do I politely say "you aren't invited to my wedding" to (almost) all of our guests.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 28, 2010 -
54 answers
Prickly wedding etiquette question: We got married a little ways back, had a wonderful wedding, an unforgettable honeymoon, and are now back in the real world again. We're ready to sit down and write our thank-you cards, and have run into a slight... hiccup.
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posted by anonymous
on May 19, 2010 -
43 answers
What is the best practice for listing two degrees after a name in an email signature, when the degrees weren't earned as a joint degree? For example, if the degrees are JD and MPA, should it be JD/MPA, JD+MPA, or some other combination? Maybe just a comma between them? JD/MPA would be the obvious choice for a joint degree, but these are from different universities and earned at different times.
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posted by anonymous
on May 9, 2010 -
16 answers
How do I balance my waitlisting to a wonderful PhD program with not messing up my acceptance to a great PhD program?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 31, 2010 -
13 answers
