180 posts tagged with etiquette and resolved. (View popular tags)
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Do I apologize, or do we all just pretend this NEVER HAPPENED?

I "met" an internet friend over the weekend who it turns out is someone I actually dated in high school. I am really embarrassed and hate that I've been an accidental jerk, and I'm not sure what to do now. You know, other than feel like kind of an idiot. [more inside]
posted by Narrative Priorities on Apr 7, 2014 - 48 answers

 

Accepting a job knowing you'll leave it in a few months...

Job in question is an on-call healthcare position that's interesting, but I know I'll be relocating soon. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by pocksuppetteer on Mar 23, 2014 - 12 answers

Care and feeding of home medical professionals?

This weekend, I'm going to have a home infusion nurse in my house for approximately 4 hours a day while I'm hooked up to an IV. This process is going to repeat every 4-5 weeks indefinitely, to treat an autoimmune condition. What do I do with her? [more inside]
posted by kythuen on Feb 14, 2014 - 15 answers

The art of (not) tipping

At a restaurant, if I'm not tipping on my card (either because I've left cash or because someone else is leaving the tip), is it better to make a note of this or just leave the tip line blank? [more inside]
posted by harperpitt on Feb 1, 2014 - 24 answers

Band guest list etiquette?

We're going to a gig tonight that is massively sold out … and we're on the guest list. Are guest lists completely at the whim of the venue, or are there general guidelines that apply to most venues? We want to enjoy the show, but don't want to be “that guy” who ruins it for those nearby. [more inside]
posted by scruss on Jan 19, 2014 - 18 answers

Facebook etiquette: to tag or not to tag?

Is tagging OK when you want to make sure that specific people will see (or, at least, be notified about) a specific post? Even if it would mean tagging about 20-30 people... [more inside]
posted by lost_lettuce on Dec 23, 2013 - 13 answers

Facebook etiquette for what is basically, a year-long vacation?

After years of saving and planning, I've been able to realize my dream of traveling the world for a year. I'm 6 months into my trip and I've been posting photos or updates about where I am in the world on facebook about 2 or 3 times a week. While many people have expressed appreciation for the updates or interest in what I'm doing, I've noticed about 7-10 friends who used to interact with me all the time on FB and real life have totally stopped liking/commenting/sending messages although they're still very active on the site. I kind of suspect some of them have blocked me from their timelines. I know not everyone will have an opportunity like this and I try to be sensitive to that. I'm not preachy about "the importance of travel", or posting pics of 5 star hotel rooms and fancy restaurants (I'm doing this as cheaply as possible, mostly hostels in developing countries and couchsurfing.) At the same time I LOVE seeing others' travel pics and, well, want to share some of the exciting, amazing things I'm experiencing with people in my life. But some people seem put off by this, so I'm wondering - am I being a jerk? What's the etiquette here?
posted by horizons on Dec 20, 2013 - 55 answers

Attending the funeral. Do I send flowers also?

Usually I think of sending flowers when I won't be able to attend a funeral. I will be attending one this week, for a pretty close relative, and another relative asked me to go in on some flowers. Is it customary to send flowers even if you're attending? This is in the US.
posted by lakeroon on Dec 15, 2013 - 16 answers

Is it irresponsible for me to keep my cell phone on 'silent' at night?

Here's the thing: I don't have a land-line. Over Thanksgiving, my mother got upset at the thought that she couldn't reach me late at night if there were some kind of emergency - the dreaded "3 am phone call." I understand her worry, but I'm feeling very resistant to the idea of keeping the phone on at night. In part, this because I know that most of the calls I'll get will just be annoying and unwanted (I have a fairly severe telemarketing issue) but I think there is also a kind of psychological resistance. I'm a slave to my phone already for all these hours of the day, and it feels good to know it won't be bothering me while I'm sleeping. I'm reluctant to give that up. Can you help me sort through these issues? [more inside]
posted by pretentious illiterate on Dec 2, 2013 - 78 answers

playing the field, doggy edition

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a dog. Based on online profiles and email conversations with foster families, we've got it narrowed down to two pups that have been fostered through two local rescue groups. Now we are scheduling in-person meetings with the dogs and "home visits" where they send a volunteer to make sure our house is ok for a dog. Should we be telling each group that we are deciding between two dogs, which we're meeting on Thursday and Friday? [more inside]
posted by vytae on Oct 9, 2013 - 10 answers

'We like you fine, but we're not buying dinner for you.'

We met with a potential wedding reception venue today to get a quote, and the owner suggested that we can invite some people just to the party after the ceremony and dinner. From a cost cutting perspective that sounds awesome. But is it just too squicky, etiquette-wise? [more inside]
posted by nerdfish on Oct 9, 2013 - 42 answers

Thank you in advance

"Thank you in advance." This is a phrase that annoys me. Should it? [more inside]
posted by mister_kaupungister on Sep 24, 2013 - 53 answers

How should I cope when sharing a car with a dangerous driver?

I've recently had occasion to take a multi-hour drive with someone who who very consistently drove in a matter that felt very dangerous to me. There was a lot of tailgating, sudden lane changing, and more than a few last-second turns. I sat quietly in the back seat. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Sep 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Etiquette for correspondence with a professor under whom I may work?

I have emailed a professor about volunteering in her lab and, propitiously for me, she said that she'd be happy to give me this opportunity and will be in contact with me in September. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Aug 26, 2013 - 5 answers

a smelly situation

Our friend gave us a loathsome housewarming gift, and we are in an etiquette bind! [more inside]
posted by Aubergine on Aug 7, 2013 - 47 answers

How would you want to be turned down for a job?

I'm in the process of interviewing mid-senior level candidates and would like to let them know when they are not making it to the next level in the process. If you were a job hunter in this situation what would you want to hear while being turned down for further consideration? I'm looking for an email script! [more inside]
posted by rainydayfilms on Jul 26, 2013 - 30 answers

All your friends posted on your timeline...except one.

Facebook Filter: Possibly beanplating the etiquette of birthday wishes on social media. Details within. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Jul 15, 2013 - 25 answers

Etiquette in referring to Nurse Practitioners

I am a pre-med student, and have been shadowing lots of doctors lately. When I finish shadowing, I usually write a thank you note to the doctor, and to the staff in the office where I've been shadowing (basically thanking them for being welcoming while I'm in their work space). How should I address the notes I'm writing for this most recent shadowing, where a Nurse Practitioner is also in the office? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jul 3, 2013 - 8 answers

How should I respond to confusion about a meeting time?

Early last week, I had a meeting where there were two people from my organization, and three people from an organization we're hoping to work with in the near future. At the end of the meeting, we agreed on a future date/time for our next meeting. The following day, I emailed everyone in attendance, with (our shared impression of) the date/time/location of our next email in the second sentence of the email. Today, it became clear that everyone on their side of the meeting thought it was supposed to happen today, and I thought it was happening tomorrow. How should I respond? [more inside]
posted by heresiarch on Jun 17, 2013 - 8 answers

No photos, please?

Is it okay to ask guests not to take photos during our wedding ceremony? [more inside]
posted by just_ducky on Jun 9, 2013 - 30 answers

No cell phone in doctor's exam room? Why?

Just called a friend with a severed tendon to see how his visit to the doctor went and he was still in the exam room. He said he had to get off the phone because there was a sign saying "no cell phones in exam room." I'm wondering why the sign is there. He was alone at the time, waiting for the doctor to return. Is the rule due to an equipment issue, or is it because of doctors being annoyed by rude patients talking on cell phones while the doctor is examining them, or something else?
posted by mediareport on May 31, 2013 - 24 answers

Does the dot suffix of a website's name matter?

How important is having a .com suffix to the perceived legitimacy of a website? How does it affect traffic/success, etc? Does holding onto .com as the ideal make sense in this world of domain squatters? Can we make a list of good and bad choices?
posted by letstrythis on May 22, 2013 - 23 answers

Getting married after getting married: the insurance-panic edition

Help me, etiquette mavens of AskMe! Fiance and I are in the midst of planning a wedding for this fall, but we just found out that he's losing his health insurance soon. How ok is it to have a courthouse ceremony now, but still hold a "real" wedding in the fall? [more inside]
posted by badgermushroomSNAKE on May 21, 2013 - 107 answers

Order of names in a letter signature matter when sent from a couple?

My wife and I were writing a brief thank-you note to some friends, and she was helping to edit. I then signed it off as 'Arandia & Wife' -- only my wife says that it should be 'Wife & Arandia', since *I* wrote the letter and it is coming from my email address. [more inside]
posted by Arandia on May 21, 2013 - 17 answers

Ettiquette filter: Do I warn them I am diseased?

We have dinner plans with a couple (A & B) they're calling in just under 2 hours. I woke up today with a stinking cold. It's got worse all day. I feel crap and I'm not looking forward to a night in a loud restaurant, shouting cos my ears are blocked, and blowing my nose every minute. But my SO hates cancelling plans, and doesn't want to go out with the other couple without me as he'll feel "like a gooseberry" (even though he's known A for 20 years, and they're very sweet, nice people). I'm begrudgingly going to make myself go. Then it dawned on me - is it actually ruder to turn up with the cold and probably pass it on to them (as we're sharing a taxi there and I'm at the constant sneezing/sniffling stage), or just to cancel? [more inside]
posted by billiebee on May 18, 2013 - 27 answers

Social Math: 1+1=/=1

Suggestions for nice things to do for the couples who are nice to you (especially when you're single and kind of broke)? [more inside]
posted by xenization on Apr 3, 2013 - 18 answers

casual hookup etiquette for the post-serially monogamous citizen

After many years of monogamy followed by several years of celibacy (continually enforced by the fact that, out of raw fiscal necessity, I will continue to share a house and mortgage with my ex for the indefinite future), a chance encounter has left me with the opportunity to enjoy one (or, fingers crossed, more than one!) casual hookup(s) with a breathtakingly attractive near-stranger. Can you walk me through this process -- safety, guidelines, what to do/not do or say, etc. -- like a complete newbie? [more inside]
posted by electroshock blues on Mar 25, 2013 - 15 answers

Call before dropping by, is this a regional thing?

My fiance and I have different opinions about visiting and whether or not we should call first. I'm not saying either of us are right or wrong, but I'm wondering if it's a regional thing. [more inside]
posted by patheral on Jan 15, 2013 - 74 answers

Keeping a beard respectable

My friend is growing a beautiful bushy beard and moustache. After several months it's wonderfully luxuriant. But, it's got to the stage where he can't eat without spillage. As for soup, forget about it - he can hardly have a mouthful before he has to wield a napkin and wipe spoonfuls away. My friend is very elegant and finds this sloppiness excruciating, especially in public. [more inside]
posted by glasseyes on Jan 11, 2013 - 21 answers

What's the etiquette on having friends visit when you're coughing?

Social-Awkwardness filter: I'm a formerly shy person who's recently been getting out there and making friends. I've been sick for the past week. A few people have asked to come over/hang out despite this. I want to know what the etiquette is when you have a persistent cough that borders on retching. Do the people who try to hang out anyway really not care or are they just being polite? Am I going to alienate people by rejecting their multiple attempts to see me? I don't understand why they wouldn't just end up being disgusted by me constantly coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose and being a sick person. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 7, 2013 - 27 answers

I like you, but I hate the gifts..

Is there a polite way to tell your significant other that you absolutely hate the gifts you've received from them for holiday? But wait!! I'm not being snooty for the reasons you'd think I would! More inside.. [more inside]
posted by baconandvodka on Dec 29, 2012 - 68 answers

Facebook Etiquette with in-laws in mind

I am British. I have recently acquired American in-laws. They are a traditionally Republican family. I, like many Europeans, consider the current iteration of the Republican Party has passed so far beyond the pale as to no longer be a rational organisation. So I saw a post-election graphic on Facebook I would normally have shared, but...I'm wondering how this new branch of family will perceive that. [more inside]
posted by glasseyes on Nov 16, 2012 - 46 answers

To send condolences or not?

My ex-boyfriend's dad just passed away. What, if anything, should I do? [more inside]
posted by csox on Nov 16, 2012 - 24 answers

Business etiquette landmines to avoid when making a sales pitch to Japanese business owners.

Business etiquette landmines to avoid when making a sales pitch to Japanese business owners. [more inside]
posted by 256 on Nov 14, 2012 - 7 answers

Is maintaining one's boundaries beyond the bounds of etiquette?

How does the etiquette concept that "The only thing ruder than rudeness is pointing out said rudeness" not imply letting oneself get walked all over? Help me understand this, if you would? [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Oct 27, 2012 - 21 answers

Take the money and drive?

I've been asked to speak at a student group at my old college, which is about 100 miles away. They've offered to pay for my gas; should I accept, or would it be more charitable to decline?
posted by adverb on Oct 23, 2012 - 14 answers

hostess gift in a hurry

What's an appropriate hostess gift in this situation? [more inside]
posted by homodachi on Oct 21, 2012 - 10 answers

Another one rides the bus

What's the correct way to ride the bus and get off at a certain stop? [more inside]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis on Oct 9, 2012 - 28 answers

I'm not trying to buy your affection but here's some cash

I am visiting my boyfriend's family for Christmas. His parents and two of his younger brothers (still in school) will be there, and I've met each of them very briefly. They celebrate Christmas with gift exchanges, but I was thinking about giving them cash, partly because I feel I don't know them well, partly because I don't want to travel with lots of boxes, and partly because cash is a perfectly acceptable gift in my culture (for New Year's Day). I've asked my boyfriend and he seemed lukewarm, but not entirely against it. Is this an absolutely horrible idea? If it's not, what is a good amount that says I'm not stingy, but also also not trying to bribe them?
posted by ethidda on Sep 26, 2012 - 39 answers

Wow, I've finally found something that was easier to do with the twins when they were toddlers.

Help me navigate the etiquette of my twin boys' upcoming birthday party. [more inside]
posted by terrierhead on Sep 24, 2012 - 19 answers

getting the real deal about colleges

As an international student (equivalent 'rising senior') in high school, how can I discern what a college or university is really like, past all the glossy paper? More questions, and details, within. [more inside]
posted by undue influence on Aug 20, 2012 - 14 answers

Help me network a little less awkwardly (what to do with my ham hands?)

I am in between jobs, just moved to a new market and have been advised my alma mater's career counselor to set up coffee dates with alums who are working at places that I am targeting. How can I go about doing this in a way that balances networking etiquette and making the most out of these meetings? [more inside]
posted by SpicyMustard on Aug 11, 2012 - 9 answers

Door holding etiquette - advanced level

Advanced door holding etiquette. I found this question and answer but it didn't address a variant that I'm always running into. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by natteringnabob on Aug 4, 2012 - 30 answers

Do I tip out at the end or with each drink?

When at a bar/pub, I default to tipping on each drink (cash is easy to remember this way, for me). When they hold a running tab, what is the appropriate etiquette when cashing out at the end of the night? [more inside]
posted by CrystalDave on Jul 30, 2012 - 12 answers

Is it rude not to prolong the small talk with my hair stylist?

Hair professionals of the world, would you find me rude if I took the opportunity to return to my reading once our intial, polite exhange of pleasantries is over?
posted by =^^= on Jul 27, 2012 - 10 answers

Help me craft a nicely worded invitation for a party!

I'm getting married - yay! I'm having a simply civil ceremony at the NYC wedding bureau and then plan to have a party a few days after. My dear me-fi'ers- What do you think is the best way to word an invite to a post-ceremony celebration? [more inside]
posted by carmenghia on Jul 26, 2012 - 12 answers

Proper etiquette for an unsolicted merit raise

What is proper "thank you" etiquette when given an unsolicited raise based on merit? [more inside]
posted by Fezboy! on Jul 18, 2012 - 22 answers

I Want my Clear Conscience Back

I owe a person money and want to pay her back. How should I go about it? [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Jul 13, 2012 - 15 answers

Should I send another e-mail?

E-mail etiquette: I need to have an interview with my college's contact at my externship. The contact asked me to e-mail her in July. I e-mailed her 6 days ago but have not gotten a reply. How should I proceed? [more inside]
posted by OsoMeaty on Jul 11, 2012 - 9 answers

Is it bad etiquette to invite all family members but one?

Wedding invite etiquette: Is it bad etiquette to invite all family members but one? [more inside]
posted by SndyLnd on Jun 30, 2012 - 17 answers

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