211 posts tagged with etiquette and resolved.
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What to do - Card and Flowers for a dying friend?

A friend of the family is dying, and soon. She was diagnosed recently with cancer and given days to live. She is in her home and aware, but under hospice care. Rather than send flowers when she's dead I thought I should send them now while she is alive to know we are thinking of her. What should I put in the card? I'm leaning towards just "Thinking of you" and our names. Any better suggestions for the card?
posted by arniec on Apr 3, 2015 - 8 answers

Public transit phone/picture-capable-device etiquette

On public transit, do you feel threatened about people holding devices with cameras in such a way that they could potentially be taking pictures or recording? Do you feel pressure about how you hold your own camera-capable devices? This is more of a general question, but details about why I became curious are as follows. [more inside]
posted by halifix on Mar 27, 2015 - 28 answers

Nurses/Phlebotomists/etc: How to ask politely for gloves to be replaced?

I recently had an iv line inserted by a delightful technician who was wonderful in every way except that she put on her gloves and then rubbed her nose and then proceeded to insert the line. How could I have asked her to change her gloves without causing offense? [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Mar 20, 2015 - 15 answers

How do I make winter pedicures work?

Okay, I feel a bit goofy asking this question...but here goes! I just got back from my trusty nail salon. For the second time this winter, the nail polish on my toes was completely destroyed on the brief 10-minute walk home from the salon. Any advice on keeping polish looking nice when open-toed shoes aren't seasonally appropriate? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Feb 28, 2015 - 17 answers

Trip cancellation etiquette amongst friends

What's the commonly acceptable etiquette on reimbursing someone when you back out of a trip? [more inside]
posted by arcticseal on Feb 27, 2015 - 40 answers

How to deal with email sent to your address incorrectly?

So I have what must be a fairly common name, and I get mail for other people with my name fairly regularly because I got lucky and landed "firstname.lastname@gmail.com" a long time ago. This is usually not a big deal, but today I got a subscription confirmation email from a porn site that one of the other people with my name probably signed up for. Anybody have any idea what the etiquette here is, and how to maybe avoid this kind of annoyance in the future? [more inside]
posted by rabbitroom on Feb 26, 2015 - 16 answers

How do I email my job references

My academic and professional references have asked me to keep them informed of what jobs I'm applying to, both so that they have a heads-up, and so that they can let me know if they've been called. I haven't been very good at doing this consistently because I don't know how to phrase that email. [more inside]
posted by wrabbit on Jan 30, 2015 - 7 answers

Medical residency interview communication etiquette

A friend from another country, but now legally in the US, is applying for medical residencies. He was told by a classmate to thank the various people who have interviewed him for residencies by sending a thank you card. What kind of card? Or is a short letter better? Mefite MDs, what do you think?
posted by mareli on Jan 30, 2015 - 20 answers

Gift etiquette: Boss's children, holiday edition

My direct manager is having an open house / work-related party tonight (the 30th) and he has invited me and most of the department. We are planning on bringing a small 'host' gift, i.e. flowers or chocolates. Since it is so close to Christmas my wife thinks that we should also bring a small gift for each of my manager's two children (~6 and ~2 years old). I'm unsure whether this would be seen as 'sucking up' or if this is a good idea. [more inside]
posted by Arandia on Dec 30, 2014 - 15 answers

Stop the madness! Reducing work emails I don't need.

I work for a local government. I am in the equivalent of a general counsel position in the private sector. I am receiving around 200 emails every day. I estimate I actually should receive about 50 of these. I don't mind getting emails I need, but I want to stop being CC'ed unnecessarily and asked mundane questions. How do I cut down on the flow of unnecessary email without becoming the dragon lady from legal? [more inside]
posted by notjustthefish on Dec 29, 2014 - 22 answers

How to notify online contacts of a death?

I need to notify someone's online contacts that they passed away. Complications below. [more inside]
posted by mordax on Dec 25, 2014 - 7 answers

Holiday Tip at no-tip salon

I go to a no-tip hair salon. I do not see the owner. Is it appropriate to give a cash tip for Christmas?
posted by natasha_k on Dec 16, 2014 - 11 answers

Yes, you have to eat with strangers.

Can you tell me about your experience with shared or "communal" tables at restaurants or coffee shops? Where are they common? Can you point me to any research, analysis, or good commentary about them? [more inside]
posted by delezzo on Dec 14, 2014 - 54 answers

Foraging free/cheap scrap hardwood, leather, & bones: where to look?

I have some craft and design projects I'd like to create with *quality* scrap hardwood, *quality* scrap leather, and game animal skulls/teeth/other bones. The bigger the wood/leather scraps the better. Other than Etsy suppliers, where are the best places in my community to try to look for these things and get them for little to no cost? [more inside]
posted by nightrecordings on Nov 9, 2014 - 13 answers

Is it okay to walk my dog in the cemetery?

That's it really. I live near a large, park-like cemetery and I'm wondering about the etiquette of walking my dog there. It's a modern, suburban cemetery which is quite, um, active. If I were to take my dog there, he would be leashed at all times and if I saw a funeral actually occurring I would keep far away. Would if be upsetting if a person was at the cemetery to visit the grave of a loved one and they saw me casually walking the dog as if it were any other place?
posted by Sarah Lund's Jumper on Oct 31, 2014 - 29 answers

How to become a more polite driver (or person)?

How can I become a more polite driver on the road? I try my best and usually succeed at the basics--using turn signals, not cutting people off--but I still run into situations on a regular basis where 5 seconds later, I think, "Man, I was kind of a jerk there." How can I learn to be aware of these situations before the fact? [more inside]
posted by serelliya on Oct 23, 2014 - 16 answers

Invited back to interview for a different position...?

I recently had a job interview at a perfect-for-my-current-circumstances employer. I thought the interview was okay but I could've done better. Didn't hear a peep for two weeks. I received an email this Tuesday asking if I could come in this Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday to interview for a different and higher-paying position. I'm looking for some advice on how to handle interview #2 tomorrow. Confusion & mitigating circumstances inside! [more inside]
posted by cardinality on Oct 16, 2014 - 12 answers

Social Media Etiquette for the Networked Era

What is the current day etiquette around maintaining and removing connections on LinkedIn? [more inside]
posted by infini on Sep 21, 2014 - 18 answers

If she's a little jealous, that means she cares. DM me ;) xo - What the?

Several different Twitter users with accounts showing female faces have followed me on my Twitter account with the same line - so, what's this about? [more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Aug 28, 2014 - 12 answers

My Best Frenemy's Wedding

(ugh.) Friend B from this post is getting married next month, and I don't want to go. Or I do want to go, to support her fiance and be with old friends. But I don't want to celebrate her in any way. How do I proceed and keep my dignity? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Aug 21, 2014 - 45 answers

What are the hat rules?

I was raised with the expectation that men's hats* MUST come off when entering a building.** This does not appear to be true any longer, or at least isn't true for baseball caps. What's the consensus on leaving a baseball cap on or taking it off? For context, I have explained the exceptions to the rules as I was lead to understand them under the cut, and if it matters I am a 30-year-old white guy living in a city, and I'm looking for the casual-hat rules, not the formal-hat rules. [more inside]
posted by blnkfrnk on Aug 5, 2014 - 38 answers

Hat's off to you!

I love wearing hats. I have many: fedora, bowler, newsboy, boater, summer straw, cowboy, porkpie . . . . How can I make best use of my suave accessories? [more inside]
posted by carrioncomfort on Jun 28, 2014 - 27 answers

Am I wrong to be totally unenthused about a friend's wedding?

A friend is having a 2-day wedding to a man whom only one of the 4 of our invited group has met, in a location that's an expensive pain in the butt to get to, and will make us all late for work Monday. None of us really want to go. Are we horrible people? [more inside]
posted by area.man on Jun 19, 2014 - 38 answers

A very inexpensive, small, and quickly obtainable token of my thanks

I'd like to give an inexpensive token of thanks to each of around 40 people. They are physicians and nurses who are helping on a project. It needs to be something I can get quickly, travel with easily, and ideally no more than $4 US. My ideas so far are Amazon gift cards or Starbucks gift cards. What token gift would you like to receive if you were one of them?
posted by neutralmojo on Jun 18, 2014 - 27 answers

Help me do something nice for my coworker, whose beloved pet is dying

One of my favorite colleagues has a cat, and it is dying. She is just waiting on tests to come back from the vet so they can decide if palliative care is an option or not. I'd like to do something nice to let her know that I'm thinking of her, but need ideas that won't memorialize me as "That girl who did that crazy thing in a misguided attempt to nice." Also looking for a sanity check - if this is a bad idea, please say so (and why). [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Jun 17, 2014 - 29 answers

Never in my life did I think my son share/split...the restaurant tab

Indians of me-fi: is it commonly accepted etiquette that splitting a restaurant bill with Indian parents is an insult? [more inside]
posted by ovenmitt on Jun 14, 2014 - 32 answers

What is the most polite way to turn down a request for a second date?

So, I've jumped into online dating. It's going oddly better than expected, such that I now have a couple etiquette questions: 1) how do I politely turn down a request for a second date? He seems like a kind person and I'd like to avoid hurting his feelings inasmuch as possible, but I wasn't quite feeling that spark of attraction. Is there some equivalent of Miko's breakup talk for this that will help here, something clear but gentle? Also... [more inside]
posted by maggiepolitt on Jun 13, 2014 - 28 answers

Workplace etiquette question

I've recently been teamed on a project with a co-worker who dresses and acts professionally, but tends to wear low-cut blouses. The problem is not what she is wearing but that she is frequently, nervously making adjustments to her neckline. So often that it's now making me nervous. Question inside. [more inside]
posted by qi on Jun 4, 2014 - 31 answers

Cultural Etiquette -- Turkey

Someone I work with is Turkish and in Turkey for the summer. He asked me to let him know if I would like something from Turkey. I do! But do I take him up on it? [more inside]
posted by zizzle on Jun 4, 2014 - 17 answers

How (and should) I gracefully back out of being a bridesmaid?

I agreed to be a bridesmaid for a friend who wants her bridesmaids to be a lot more present (physically) than I am going to be able to in the lead-up to the wedding. What do I do now? [more inside]
posted by kagredon on May 17, 2014 - 15 answers

Engagement ring etiquette.

I know next to nothing about weddings, so I'm looking for advice to successfully support one of my best friends who is having a disagreement with her soon-to-be fiance about who gets to pick the ring out. [more inside]
posted by tenaciousmoon on May 11, 2014 - 54 answers

Do I apologize, or do we all just pretend this NEVER HAPPENED?

I "met" an internet friend over the weekend who it turns out is someone I actually dated in high school. I am really embarrassed and hate that I've been an accidental jerk, and I'm not sure what to do now. You know, other than feel like kind of an idiot. [more inside]
posted by Narrative Priorities on Apr 7, 2014 - 48 answers

Accepting a job knowing you'll leave it in a few months...

Job in question is an on-call healthcare position that's interesting, but I know I'll be relocating soon. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by pocksuppetteer on Mar 23, 2014 - 12 answers

Care and feeding of home medical professionals?

This weekend, I'm going to have a home infusion nurse in my house for approximately 4 hours a day while I'm hooked up to an IV. This process is going to repeat every 4-5 weeks indefinitely, to treat an autoimmune condition. What do I do with her? [more inside]
posted by kythuen on Feb 14, 2014 - 15 answers

The art of (not) tipping

At a restaurant, if I'm not tipping on my card (either because I've left cash or because someone else is leaving the tip), is it better to make a note of this or just leave the tip line blank? [more inside]
posted by harperpitt on Feb 1, 2014 - 24 answers

Band guest list etiquette?

We're going to a gig tonight that is massively sold out … and we're on the guest list. Are guest lists completely at the whim of the venue, or are there general guidelines that apply to most venues? We want to enjoy the show, but don't want to be “that guy” who ruins it for those nearby. [more inside]
posted by scruss on Jan 19, 2014 - 18 answers

Facebook etiquette: to tag or not to tag?

Is tagging OK when you want to make sure that specific people will see (or, at least, be notified about) a specific post? Even if it would mean tagging about 20-30 people... [more inside]
posted by lost_lettuce on Dec 23, 2013 - 13 answers

Facebook etiquette for what is basically, a year-long vacation?

After years of saving and planning, I've been able to realize my dream of traveling the world for a year. I'm 6 months into my trip and I've been posting photos or updates about where I am in the world on facebook about 2 or 3 times a week. While many people have expressed appreciation for the updates or interest in what I'm doing, I've noticed about 7-10 friends who used to interact with me all the time on FB and real life have totally stopped liking/commenting/sending messages although they're still very active on the site. I kind of suspect some of them have blocked me from their timelines. I know not everyone will have an opportunity like this and I try to be sensitive to that. I'm not preachy about "the importance of travel", or posting pics of 5 star hotel rooms and fancy restaurants (I'm doing this as cheaply as possible, mostly hostels in developing countries and couchsurfing.) At the same time I LOVE seeing others' travel pics and, well, want to share some of the exciting, amazing things I'm experiencing with people in my life. But some people seem put off by this, so I'm wondering - am I being a jerk? What's the etiquette here?
posted by horizons on Dec 20, 2013 - 55 answers

Attending the funeral. Do I send flowers also?

Usually I think of sending flowers when I won't be able to attend a funeral. I will be attending one this week, for a pretty close relative, and another relative asked me to go in on some flowers. Is it customary to send flowers even if you're attending? This is in the US.
posted by lakeroon on Dec 15, 2013 - 16 answers

Is it irresponsible for me to keep my cell phone on 'silent' at night?

Here's the thing: I don't have a land-line. Over Thanksgiving, my mother got upset at the thought that she couldn't reach me late at night if there were some kind of emergency - the dreaded "3 am phone call." I understand her worry, but I'm feeling very resistant to the idea of keeping the phone on at night. In part, this because I know that most of the calls I'll get will just be annoying and unwanted (I have a fairly severe telemarketing issue) but I think there is also a kind of psychological resistance. I'm a slave to my phone already for all these hours of the day, and it feels good to know it won't be bothering me while I'm sleeping. I'm reluctant to give that up. Can you help me sort through these issues? [more inside]
posted by pretentious illiterate on Dec 2, 2013 - 77 answers

playing the field, doggy edition

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a dog. Based on online profiles and email conversations with foster families, we've got it narrowed down to two pups that have been fostered through two local rescue groups. Now we are scheduling in-person meetings with the dogs and "home visits" where they send a volunteer to make sure our house is ok for a dog. Should we be telling each group that we are deciding between two dogs, which we're meeting on Thursday and Friday? [more inside]
posted by vytae on Oct 9, 2013 - 10 answers

'We like you fine, but we're not buying dinner for you.'

We met with a potential wedding reception venue today to get a quote, and the owner suggested that we can invite some people just to the party after the ceremony and dinner. From a cost cutting perspective that sounds awesome. But is it just too squicky, etiquette-wise? [more inside]
posted by nerdfish on Oct 9, 2013 - 42 answers

Thank you in advance

"Thank you in advance." This is a phrase that annoys me. Should it? [more inside]
posted by mister_kaupungister on Sep 24, 2013 - 53 answers

How should I cope when sharing a car with a dangerous driver?

I've recently had occasion to take a multi-hour drive with someone who who very consistently drove in a matter that felt very dangerous to me. There was a lot of tailgating, sudden lane changing, and more than a few last-second turns. I sat quietly in the back seat. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Sep 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Etiquette for correspondence with a professor under whom I may work?

I have emailed a professor about volunteering in her lab and, propitiously for me, she said that she'd be happy to give me this opportunity and will be in contact with me in September. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Aug 26, 2013 - 5 answers

a smelly situation

Our friend gave us a loathsome housewarming gift, and we are in an etiquette bind! [more inside]
posted by Aubergine on Aug 7, 2013 - 47 answers

How would you want to be turned down for a job?

I'm in the process of interviewing mid-senior level candidates and would like to let them know when they are not making it to the next level in the process. If you were a job hunter in this situation what would you want to hear while being turned down for further consideration? I'm looking for an email script! [more inside]
posted by rainydayfilms on Jul 26, 2013 - 30 answers

All your friends posted on your timeline...except one.

Facebook Filter: Possibly beanplating the etiquette of birthday wishes on social media. Details within. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Jul 15, 2013 - 25 answers

Etiquette in referring to Nurse Practitioners

I am a pre-med student, and have been shadowing lots of doctors lately. When I finish shadowing, I usually write a thank you note to the doctor, and to the staff in the office where I've been shadowing (basically thanking them for being welcoming while I'm in their work space). How should I address the notes I'm writing for this most recent shadowing, where a Nurse Practitioner is also in the office? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jul 3, 2013 - 8 answers

How should I respond to confusion about a meeting time?

Early last week, I had a meeting where there were two people from my organization, and three people from an organization we're hoping to work with in the near future. At the end of the meeting, we agreed on a future date/time for our next meeting. The following day, I emailed everyone in attendance, with (our shared impression of) the date/time/location of our next email in the second sentence of the email. Today, it became clear that everyone on their side of the meeting thought it was supposed to happen today, and I thought it was happening tomorrow. How should I respond? [more inside]
posted by heresiarch on Jun 17, 2013 - 8 answers

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