I've recently learned that someone I used to know from when we were both much younger, has died. I knew him only in the context of church and we'd pal around on those Sundays, but we hadn't spoken in years. It's been suggested to me, by my parents, who still attend the church (I don't), that I might play some music at the wake, since I'm a violinist. But it seems to me this might be inappropriate for a few reasons. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2009 - 10 answers

I just found out yesterday that someone that I cared very deeply for died a few years ago from an overdose of heroin. I have a few questions regarding the nature of his death and etiquette surrounding contacting his family. [more inside]
posted by zerokey on Jun 26, 2009 - 15 answers

What is the etiquette on bringing food for the bereaved? [more inside]
posted by crazycanuck on Oct 19, 2008 - 14 answers

I have a hard time talking to my friends about other people's terminal illnesses and/or deaths. I'd like to get better at this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2007 - 12 answers

What can/should you do for a co-worker in your department who only has a few weeks left to live, and is already at the hospital?

Even if you aren't particularly close, one has the feeling one should do something. But what?
posted by ShawnStruck on Jan 14, 2005 - 15 answers

My professor's father just died. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I really like this prof and it’s a very small class where everyone knows each other. I would like to offer some condolence, especially since this happened right before the holidays, even if it is just a short email message. Would this be appropriate? What should I say / not say?
posted by fourstar on Dec 7, 2004 - 37 answers

So, a murder happened in front of my house while we were on vacation last week. Now there is a shrine there around my tree about 5 feet from the bottom of my steps and people coming by day and night leaving stuff and lighting candles.

I don't mind the shrine, but how long do I leave that stuff there? How can I get people to not leave candles burning there (I am worried about fire danger.) Am I responsible for disposing of the stuff?

I have some ideas, but would like some suggestions.

Here's a link to the info about the murder.
http://www.timesstar.com/Stories/0,1413,125~1486~2236893,00.html
posted by aacheson on Jul 2, 2004 - 13 answers