922 posts tagged with etiquette.
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Appropriate response to religious greeting

I am currently living in Austria, where it is typical for people entering a semi-public space (e.g. doctor's office, barber shop) to greet the entire room and receive a greeting back. What is the appropriate response when greeted with "salaam alaikum" (selamün aleyküm)? [more inside]
posted by frimble on Jun 30, 2015 - 9 answers

Post-interview municipal HR etiquette question

Would love to hear feedback from someone familiar with municipal HR practices. Yesterday I interviewed for a position with a city department. The interview was set up by someone from city HR, but was I was actually interviewed by people in the department. At the end of the interview, the contact from HR told me I could not contact the interviewers, but I could direct questions to her (the HR contact). I believe this is all because of various regulations regarding city hiring. When I've been interviewing for other jobs (private companies), I have sent a post-interview "thanks" email to the interviewer. Since I can't contact the people I interviewed with, is it appropriate to send a "thank you for organizing the interview" email to the HR person who has been my point of contact so far?
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 3 answers

My friend lost her baby. I'm pregnant. Should I go to the funeral?

A friend just lost her baby in the second trimester of pregnancy. She's invited me to the funeral. I want to go to support her. I cannot imagine the pain she's going through. But I'm 8 months pregnant and all is going fine. Would this be upsetting for her? [more inside]
posted by Pearl928 on Jun 9, 2015 - 28 answers

Job interview + can't understand my interviewer's accent

I'm a native U.S. English-speaker, they might not have been. I've twice been at U.S. job interviews where I haven't been able to understand my interviewer; they had an accent and I couldn't tell what words they were saying, even after they slowed down and repeated. How should I handle this? [more inside]
posted by StealthOatmeal on Jun 1, 2015 - 13 answers

Hookup etiquette, campsite rule edition

I met someone several years younger than me on a hookup site. We met and I'm pretty sure he felt nervous about his performance. What else could / should I have done? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2015 - 8 answers

What to do about a nasty email sent to the wrong person?

My mentally ill mother likes to send me super mean emails every once in a while, which I don't usually reply to. I just discovered today that she has accidentally been sending emails to a random person with a similar email address to mine. I'm not sure what, if anything, I should do about it. [more inside]
posted by thelaze on May 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Bar Mitzvah giftiquette - long distance edition

Much to my pleasant surprise, today in the mail I received an invite from one of my oldest friends to his son's Bar Mitzvah celebration. They live thousands of miles away, I'm sure they don't expect me to make an appearance, but it seems . . . . . inadequate . . . . . to just check the "no" box on the RSVP card. More context below, but the TL;DR is -- what, if anything, would be an appropriate Bar Mitzvah gift for a young man that I barely know? Or should I just send a card to sort of the whole family? [more inside]
posted by soundguy99 on May 14, 2015 - 17 answers

Houseguest karma

I've had my share of regrettable houseguest behaviours in my early 20s (I am 30 now), so I am choking this up to karma. But I am curious: I've had consecutive houseguests in their late 20s/early 30s who are fantastic people but rough-around-the-corner as houseguests. Is this a generational thing? Is it particular to the artsy/academic type that I hang out with? How do I politely tell them "I consider you a good friend, and that part won't change. I am unhappy with [behaviour] in my home, so if that doesn't change I can't host you again."? [more inside]
posted by redwaterman on May 1, 2015 - 42 answers

Help me understand this restaurant reservation policy?

Okay, yes, apparently I was raised in a barn. There's a restaurant I'd like to patronize*, but I'm stuck on their reservation policy. Specifically, their use of the term "dinner seating." Please explain to someone who frequently fails to wear a tuxedo, even well past 6:00 pm. [more inside]
posted by Naberius on Apr 20, 2015 - 24 answers

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

Same-Sex Wedding Etiquette: Do We Invite Non-Supportive Parents?

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Apr 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Destination wedding/bridal shower - gifts?

What is the gift etiquette when you are attending both? [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Apr 14, 2015 - 9 answers

Overthinking Flowers -- Japanese Edition

I would like to send a colleague a housewarming gift. Tomoya has recently moved from Japan to the UK with his wife and two babies, and they are finding the change challenging as none of them lived in the UK before. They have moved out of temporary apartments into a house, and I would like to send flowers as a welcoming gift. Is this an appropriate gift and should I avoid any particular colours/flowers? [more inside]
posted by TriparteGoddess on Apr 10, 2015 - 11 answers

Baby Shower Invite Etiquette?

Received a baby shower invitation from an acquaintance who I would like to turn into a friend. Unsure of how to handle this and other social events. [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Apr 9, 2015 - 17 answers

Difficult Wedding Guest Quandary

A wedding guest just told us that her plus-one has tricky dietary restrictions our caterer cannot handle. What are our obligations? [more inside]
posted by rainbowbrite on Apr 6, 2015 - 50 answers

What to do - Card and Flowers for a dying friend?

A friend of the family is dying, and soon. She was diagnosed recently with cancer and given days to live. She is in her home and aware, but under hospice care. Rather than send flowers when she's dead I thought I should send them now while she is alive to know we are thinking of her. What should I put in the card? I'm leaning towards just "Thinking of you" and our names. Any better suggestions for the card?
posted by arniec on Apr 3, 2015 - 8 answers

When do you re-express interest in a job interview?

I received an email from a job I'd applied to a couple of months ago requesting my availability for a phone interview. I responded via email (per their request) the same day with my limited availability. As a healthcare provider, it seems that tight schedules are the norm, but I haven't heard back, four days later. When, if ever, is it appropriate to send a follow-up email? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving on Mar 27, 2015 - 8 answers

Public transit phone/picture-capable-device etiquette

On public transit, do you feel threatened about people holding devices with cameras in such a way that they could potentially be taking pictures or recording? Do you feel pressure about how you hold your own camera-capable devices? This is more of a general question, but details about why I became curious are as follows. [more inside]
posted by halifix on Mar 27, 2015 - 28 answers

Ambulances and civilian drivers: a traffic etiquette question!

The other day, I was driving home from work and an ambulance was coming up from behind. I didn't pull over because it didn't seem useful, a nearby motorcyclist chewed me out through my open window: "You're supposed to pull over when there's an ambulance!!" Due to the not-so-snowflakey details inside, I'm struggling to understand what the right thing to do would've been. [more inside]
posted by witchen on Mar 26, 2015 - 52 answers

Birthday party invitation etiquette

I got invited, last minute-ish, to a birthday party for a friend of a friend's daughter. What, if anything, do I bring? [more inside]
posted by film on Mar 26, 2015 - 19 answers

Politely tell former co-worker I'm not interested in staying friends?

I left a job recently, and there's a former co-worker who keeps contacting me. [more inside]
posted by arbor day on Mar 21, 2015 - 34 answers

I need a primer on playdates.

How do playdates generally work for 8-year-olds? In particular, do you have any specific activity or game suggestions? What is playdate etiquette? Any tips for very introverted parents? (Location: U.S.) [more inside]
posted by Eolienne on Mar 20, 2015 - 4 answers

Nurses/Phlebotomists/etc: How to ask politely for gloves to be replaced?

I recently had an iv line inserted by a delightful technician who was wonderful in every way except that she put on her gloves and then rubbed her nose and then proceeded to insert the line. How could I have asked her to change her gloves without causing offense? [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Mar 20, 2015 - 15 answers

Kindly telling someone you're not interested in a closer friendship?

How can you politely tell an acquaintance or casual friend that you don't want to be better friends, when they apparently can't take a hint, and you know you'll continue to see them? [more inside]
posted by aldebaran on Mar 19, 2015 - 48 answers

Am I enabling poor pregnancy etiquette?

After a long journey to this point, I am 24+ weeks into what seems to be a pretty vigorous pregnancy, and quite thrilled about it. I am also showing like whoa, and so it is becoming commonplace for people I don't know well to spontaneously comment on my being pregnant before I say anything about it. I know this is a terrible thing for people to do, etiquette-wise... but I am too excited to want to quash it. Should I be trying to, and if so, how? [more inside]
posted by Smells of Detroit on Mar 18, 2015 - 24 answers

How to handle health questions semi-objectively

My family had unusual ideas about health, illness and contagion, and now I have confused instincts about when to go to the doctor, and when to worry about giving someone my nasty cold. Do you know some resources or rules of thumb that might help? [more inside]
posted by feets on Mar 15, 2015 - 15 answers

As a Meetup organizer, do I need to reply to this email?

For the last few months, I've organized a monthly meetup (through Meetup.com) for networking among people in my profession who live in my small town. For the first few months, only two others showed up. A few more people showed up in the past few months, but not all at the same time, so it's generally been two to three people, but always including one of the original women. She's extremely high-maintenance given the context, and I think she just dropped out of the group, and I'm unclear how I should response, or even if I should respond. [more inside]
posted by jaguar on Mar 4, 2015 - 15 answers

A Conundrum conundrum: wine + housesitting etiquette?

I'm housesitting for a delightful family in a nice house, taking care of their dog while they're away for several days. I drank a bottle of their wine; it retails for $20 where I am and I'm not sure whether I should replace it before they come home. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Mar 1, 2015 - 38 answers

How do I make winter pedicures work?

Okay, I feel a bit goofy asking this question...but here goes! I just got back from my trusty nail salon. For the second time this winter, the nail polish on my toes was completely destroyed on the brief 10-minute walk home from the salon. Any advice on keeping polish looking nice when open-toed shoes aren't seasonally appropriate? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Feb 28, 2015 - 17 answers

Trip cancellation etiquette amongst friends

What's the commonly acceptable etiquette on reimbursing someone when you back out of a trip? [more inside]
posted by arcticseal on Feb 27, 2015 - 40 answers

How to deal with email sent to your address incorrectly?

So I have what must be a fairly common name, and I get mail for other people with my name fairly regularly because I got lucky and landed "firstname.lastname@gmail.com" a long time ago. This is usually not a big deal, but today I got a subscription confirmation email from a porn site that one of the other people with my name probably signed up for. Anybody have any idea what the etiquette here is, and how to maybe avoid this kind of annoyance in the future? [more inside]
posted by rabbitroom on Feb 26, 2015 - 16 answers

From the mouths of babes...

I'm looking for instances of kids pointing out the hypocrisy of grownup society/adult etiquette, or questioning the reasoning of their elders. The funnier the anecdote, the better -- especially when the kid has a point. [more inside]
posted by egeanin on Feb 21, 2015 - 25 answers

Do I need to re-tip?

Simple question! Got hair done, wasn't thrilled with results, stylist wasn't thrilled with results either, and I'm going back today to have it fixed for free. But do I need to re-tip!? [more inside]
posted by millipede on Feb 18, 2015 - 18 answers

How do I email my job references

My academic and professional references have asked me to keep them informed of what jobs I'm applying to, both so that they have a heads-up, and so that they can let me know if they've been called. I haven't been very good at doing this consistently because I don't know how to phrase that email. [more inside]
posted by wrabbit on Jan 30, 2015 - 7 answers

Medical residency interview communication etiquette

A friend from another country, but now legally in the US, is applying for medical residencies. He was told by a classmate to thank the various people who have interviewed him for residencies by sending a thank you card. What kind of card? Or is a short letter better? Mefite MDs, what do you think?
posted by mareli on Jan 30, 2015 - 20 answers

Tux Police

My brother-in-law is turning 50 and is planning a shindig. [more inside]
posted by terrier319 on Jan 28, 2015 - 35 answers

What constitutes "breastaurant decorum?"

What kind of behavior do sexually charged food-service businesses expect, and welcome, from their customers? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 1, 2015 - 23 answers

Gift etiquette: Boss's children, holiday edition

My direct manager is having an open house / work-related party tonight (the 30th) and he has invited me and most of the department. We are planning on bringing a small 'host' gift, i.e. flowers or chocolates. Since it is so close to Christmas my wife thinks that we should also bring a small gift for each of my manager's two children (~6 and ~2 years old). I'm unsure whether this would be seen as 'sucking up' or if this is a good idea. [more inside]
posted by Arandia on Dec 30, 2014 - 15 answers

Stop the madness! Reducing work emails I don't need.

I work for a local government. I am in the equivalent of a general counsel position in the private sector. I am receiving around 200 emails every day. I estimate I actually should receive about 50 of these. I don't mind getting emails I need, but I want to stop being CC'ed unnecessarily and asked mundane questions. How do I cut down on the flow of unnecessary email without becoming the dragon lady from legal? [more inside]
posted by notjustthefish on Dec 29, 2014 - 22 answers

How to notify online contacts of a death?

I need to notify someone's online contacts that they passed away. Complications below. [more inside]
posted by mordax on Dec 25, 2014 - 7 answers

Salutations from the 1950's

My mother just sent me a Christmas card addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Lastname". Help me prove to her that such a salutation is outdated and that my identity didn't get swallowed up when I got hitched. [more inside]
posted by Elly Vortex on Dec 20, 2014 - 35 answers

How do I convince someone I only want to give, not exchange, gifts?

I need help wording a Christmas card that's accompanying a gift. The message I want to convey is that I really, truly, do NOT want a gift in return. [more inside]
posted by paperback version on Dec 17, 2014 - 16 answers

Holiday Tip at no-tip salon

I go to a no-tip hair salon. I do not see the owner. Is it appropriate to give a cash tip for Christmas?
posted by natasha_k on Dec 16, 2014 - 11 answers

Have I gone rogue -- from lawful good to unlawful good?

I'm involved with two organizations - one volunteer group, one professional group. In the past week, I unintentionally stole the thunder of someone in each group, in front of the whole group. Is it a coincidence, or do I have a blind spot here? [more inside]
posted by Bentobox Humperdinck on Dec 16, 2014 - 12 answers

Yes, you have to eat with strangers.

Can you tell me about your experience with shared or "communal" tables at restaurants or coffee shops? Where are they common? Can you point me to any research, analysis, or good commentary about them? [more inside]
posted by delezzo on Dec 14, 2014 - 54 answers

BART Queue Etiquette

I'm new to the San Francisco Bay Area and take the BART system to work. I noticed that in the underground downtown stations, the spots where the doors are going to be are marked. So that's nice. Then the people make neat little lines around these spots. That's nice too. But then when a train comes, people on the line who don't want that train just stand there, and everyone else on the line has to figure out who's not moving and then chaotically stream around them. [more inside]
posted by bleep on Dec 3, 2014 - 15 answers

I love you all, really, but please leave me alone

I've had quite a career boost this year and at the same time (and for related reasons,) my social circle has tripled (and it was large to begin with.) I'm involved with multiple organizations I care about, but have become utterly overwhelmed. I feel the need to take a 6 week social hiatus for my own mental health, starting Jan 1. How do I respond to social invites, without sounding ungrateful or aloof or snobby, that I just need some time off? (I can't lie and say I'm out of town as we would cross paths professionally. And I work freelance so they know I have "free time" during the day.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2014 - 21 answers

I was a close friend of your husband. No, really, I was.

I'll be meeting the family of a close friend for the first time at his visitation and funeral. This seems awkward — more awkward than funerals usually are. How best to handle it? [more inside]
posted by DevilsAdvocate on Dec 2, 2014 - 20 answers

What's the etiquette for catching up with "exes"?

Specifically if you are in a serious relationship with someone else. I'm sure this varies among couples and the best thing is probably just to talk to each other openly...but before I bring it up with my boyfriend, I wanted to get some unbiased advice to make sure I'm not stepping across a line because I do feel weird about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2014 - 26 answers

Whose life would you like to make easier?

A friend and I have been discussing creating a site wherein we interview people from various professions about how customers/clients can make their job easier, make their day a bit better, et cetera. We're in the process of seeking out folks with various jobs and we could use some advice about what kind of people we ought to seek out. [more inside]
posted by lauranesson on Nov 13, 2014 - 32 answers

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