Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with ethics

Am I right to leave my company in this way?

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 09:03:36 -0800

I am planning on leaving my company in late spring to go to grad school in the fall. Am I employing the ethically right approach here? I have been working for the Acme Company as a salaried, at-will employee for several years and on my current client (Global) for a little bit over a year. This year, I applied, was accepted and am planning on attending graduate school in a totally unrelated field. My plan all along has been to leave Acme at the end of May, travel for a bit and start grad school in the fall.

In early February -- at which point I hadn't heard back from any schools -- I was basically reassigned to the Widget Co business (with a really rough commute), a new client of Acme's, as their one-person on-site analyst. They theoretically phrased my reassignment as an "offer," but it was really clear that I was being expected to take on the Widget business (and it would have looked strange not to jump at this new, higher-responsibility quasi-promotion). Widget had signed a contract with Acme effective 1/1, including an on-site, which Acme hadn't provided resulting in pressure from Widget. When they found me internally there was a huge sigh of relief; I am transitioning over from the Global business to Widget this month, effective 4/1.

However, I've subsequently been accepted to grad school and fully plan on going. Since they've moved me over to Widget, Acme has already started recruiting for my current position at Global with some pretty compelling candidates. I haven't mentioned my imminent departure to Acme/Widget because my suspicion is that if I did, they would just let me go and fill my position with someone new -- after all, if you knew that the person you'd just tapped to fill this position was leaving in two months, wouldn't you find somebody else instead? And I could really use the couple of months' savings to pay for my summer travel.

So my current plan is to get set up on the Widget business, work there for a couple of months, give two weeks' notice mid-May and then depart at the end of the month.

My gut feeling is that this is ethically totally fine -- Acme is a big public corporation, and they don't (and haven't) hesitated to let people or whole divisions go, and I'm on at-will employment. They haven't hesitated to move me around to new clients, frequent travel to which severely impacted my quality of life, so I shouldn't hesitate to leave as well with the courtesy two weeks' notice.

Is that right? I'm asking so that people can either confirm this feeling: that's totally OK! Or tell me why this is unethical and what I should do instead (longer notice?) I want to do the "right thing," but also the right thing for me.

How to graciously break a work contract in twenty million easy steps

Bluestocking_Puppet — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 20:26:40 -0800

My boss wants to renew my work contract for a year. I really like my boss, and my workplace. But. I've been admitted into a prestigious graduate program for the fall, and I know I want to go. Please help me navigate workplace etiquette. I started working at this place last year, on a contract. My contract is up, and they want to renew for a year rather than take me on full-time. This is easily the best job I've ever had. Coworkers are all kind, hardworking people. The job uses my skills in a way I actually enjoy, gives me a lot of responsibility and room for creativity, and fair pay.

But. It's a job I sort of fell into out of necessity, and it's not what I want to do with my life. I want to be a professor.

So I have the chance to realize my dream...have been admitted to my top choice school. I can't turn this down. But I also:
a) Want to continue to work in my job until I leave and
b) Don't want to burn bridges here, for the abovementioned reasons.

Many people have suggested signing the contract and simply giving notice two weeks or a month before I leave. I respect my boss and my workplace a great deal, however, and don't want to let them down. I worry that signing a contract for a specified period of time knowing full well I won't fulfill even half of it is ethically wrong. Especially considering how understanding they've been of me and my need to take time off to pursue the interests that ended up getting me into grad school.

My boss wants to get this squared away by the end of the week. What should I do? Is it OK for me to sign this contract and give notice in a few months?

Ethicists of MeFi, please help! And thank you for your always wonderful advice.

Sailing away on the Ship of Theseus

jackbishop — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 11:41:42 -0800

I'm taking up restoration of mechanical calculators as a hobby. To what extent would repairs/part replacements constitute "restoration", and when does it become "reproduction" instead? So I'm a big fan of old-fashioned mechanical calculators (Odhner pinwheels, Monroe stepped drums, etc.) and I've recently started collecting them. Of course, if you collect them, you also have to repair the all-too-frequent ravages of time, most of which is just a good cleaning, but there are definitely ways to improve them which involve significant material changes.

Some things I'm thinking of: replacing screws (which I have no real qualms about doing when they're stripped or missing, but replacement of functional but worn screws comes under the heading of not-wholly-necessary part replacement), repainting covers (if I can find paint that matches the original), and if absolutely necessary machining whole replacement parts (in particular, I'm half-tempted to try to work up a more durable cover for my cracked Nippon HL-21)

Now, I might be overanalyzing this, given that they're my own objects and I can do whatever I like to them and call it "restoration", but I'm rather proud of having these things in their proper historical context, and I'm mindful of the fact that reproducing a historical object is different from repairing an authentic object from that time. Basically, I'm trying to avoid accidentally building the calculator of Theseus here. So what, in most people's minds, would constitute ethical "restoration" of an object, and to what extent would replacement of elements be something that would be appropriate to disclose when displaying them (or mandatory to disclose if selling them)?

Is it safe to report illegal pr0n to the FBI?

Anonymous — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 17:50:38 -0800

I'd like to report something to the FBI but I don't know if it would be dangerous to me to do so. Today I got something in the mail advertising "rare and unusual movies," which was intriguing--I love movies! even rare and unusual ones!--but what they meant was fetish porn, including bestiality.

I've bought porn DVDs before, but it's all been legal and fairly unremarkable (if there's any tendency towards a fetish, it's for muscular men). At any rate I'm not sure why I got on this list. I'd really like off the list, but I don't know if I should contact the company even to tell them in no uncertain terms to take me off the list--would they just add me to the "definitely still at that address" file and sell it to someone else?

Or should I just not say anything to the company and report them to the FBI? That was my first thought, but then if they get busted and the FBI seizes the computers, they'd see my name on their mailing list, even though I haven't bought anything from them. I'm not swimming in money, and I'd be hard-pressed to afford a lawyer if I ever needed one, and my life is fairly boring but I'm also in no rush to be under increased surveillance.

Or should I contact the FBI directly, by name rather than anonymously, and let them know what I got?

Advice?

Should we give/sell back our site name? Are there legal repercussions?

Anwan — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 09:51:03 -0800

Short: Guy let his domain name expire, we won it at auction after the one-month grace period, 1-2 weeks later we get an email from him saying "B-b-but..." Long:
We do tons of photography as a hobby and needed a place to put lots of photos for sharing, and maybe start to earn a little money. We picked out a photo hosting site and after weeks of thinking and researching, came up with a name we loved and which was available as *photography.com.

*photo.com was already taken, although the domain was set to expire in January. That site was for real estate photography (that's a thing?) 1000 miles away, his site had been up for a year but had just 3 photos on it and still showed things like "Insert text here" where he hadn't finished the pages. He also has a FB page for the name, but as "* Real Estate Photography" and with no activity. (He wrote a blurb a year ago when he made the page, that's it)

We paid for *photography.com right away and backordered *photo.com in hopes it would lapse. It did, we got it for about $70, and now he's written a pleasant email asking for it back. He basically said he did not know how this could happen, this is his business, he registered the name, he has thousands of business cards and a car decal with this web address, and that his clients know it.

My first reaction was "Aww, I feel guilty for stealing his name! We should give it back. Well, at cost." Mr. Anwan was like "No way, he had a month to pay again, and his thousands of business cards cost about $25." Both of us think his "business" is a joke (he didn't even read the emails coming from his domain registrar?), and I'm coming around to the idea of saying "No." However Mr. Anwan is concerned that he could cause trouble for us, even take us to some "internet court" to get the domain name from us.

Complicating factor: Mr. Anwan went against my adamant wishes and did not register for this domain anonymously, so the guy has our name, address and phone number (so does the rest of the internet). There are enough nutjobs out there that I'm a bit afraid of saying "No" to him.

So, are there real legal issues if we say no? Is it unethical to keep the name? Is it just plain mean? Am I paranoid for being afraid of harassment?

Ethics or not

Sophie1 — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 07:59:05 -0800

When the AIDS crisis showed up, I literally put my education on pause. I figured I would spend the next 5 years caring for friends until they all died, and then go back to school. 23 years later, I have 23 years of experience in HIV research and social services and a B.A. in religious studies. Snowflaky details.... At the time, I was going to go to rabbinical school realized I was an atheist and dropped that plan. Now I have an opportunity to get my MS in Bioethics in a low residency program. However, I'm terrified that with the skills I have with that degree, I'll get stuck being a regulatory drone.

Things I do not want to do:
-Spend time reciting the 45 CFR 46/the Belmont report
-work for an IRB or similar regulatory committee
-spend time citing people for ethics violations.

Things I love:
-HIV research
-philosophy, I love the big questions.
-teaching and I'm good at it
-Engaging people in discussion and having fun with it

While I think what I really want is to be an academic, there is no way I can get a Ph.D. at this point in my life. I can't afford it and I cannot leave my job for full time school.

As an ethicist, is there something that I would love, something that would use my strengths and not send me down the deep dark hole of IRB/regulatory oversight? It seems like most positions require an additional degree (RN, MD, JD, MSW).

Maybe I don't need a degree in Bioethics. Something else?

What am I looking for here, can you MeFites help me get creative?

What should we, as a company, do about insane customers?

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 18:40:47 -0800

Our store occasionally has customers who appear to be mentally unstable and who would benefit from medical help. What, if anything, should we do for them? Is it any of our business? I work at an IT company that works directly with the public. More than once we've had customers who seem to cross the line from odd to mentally ill.

These people do not appear to be in danger of physically harming themselves or others, but they are paranoid or behave strangely. One of the other employees referred to one of them as "off their meds crazy."

My question is: As business people, what is the ethical thing to do here? On the one hand, they clearly would benefit from medical help, and it doesn't feel right to just send them on their way without at least saying something.

On the other hand, none of us have any medical training. And there's a stigma associated with mental health issues. If someone came in with a broken hand we would say "Whoa! You should get to a hospital!" but if someone comes in and is just as clearly in need of mental help, it's much more tricky, and potentially insulting.

And if we should to do something, what should that be? We can't just talk to the mentally ill person, since their judgment is already impaired. But trying to track down family or friends to tell them "Hey, your friend should go to a mental hospital!" feels more than a little creepy too.

So far our course has been to do our best to provide our services, just like we would to anyone else. But I just want to know if there's something else we should be doing.

Post not-so-Secret

threeants — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:27:29 -0800

I'd like to start a blog featuring my small collection of found (used/sent) postcards. What measures should I take for due ethical diligence? I have some cool old postcards that I bought at thrift stores. I'm hoping to scan them and post them on a blog. They're all sent from someone to someone else (i.e. not me or anyone I personally know). I'd like to preserve/show as much of the contents as is ethical.

===

concerns:

--It stands to reason that generally, if someone's selling a used postcard to a thrift store, the sender (if not the recipient as well) is likely to be unaware of the sale.

--Visible names and addresses.

mitigations:

--The postcards are old. The most recent ones are from the 1960s. The vast majority of people involved are probably dead.

--The text is banal. People don't tend to send postcards confessing their deepest hopes and fears. They tend to write terse sentences about hotels and weather.

--There may not be much of an expectation w/r/t postcards in the first place? Anyone can read them while they're in transit (as opposed to an enveloped letter).

--There might be value in leaving names intact so people doing historical/genealogical searches on their family members could come across these...maybe? I know I'd be thrilled if I randomly came across a postcard sent by my great-grandfather or what have you.

--This is basically what historians do...right? Maybe? No?

===

So what should I do? Black out part of the name? Part of the address? Can I leave both intact? Is this project too ethically fraught to even embark on? Naturally, whatever I do I'll have a notice saying that if you are somehow party to one of the postcards, I'll take the entry down at your request.

Thanks for the advice!

I don't want Cruella De Ville's dressing table

mippy — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:28:16 -0800

Is it still moral/ethical to buy cosmetics from companies who have decided to enter the Chinese market? If not, are there any mainstream/high-street options left? This may be putting a sticking plaster on a wound in animal welfare terms - I am not vegetarian, am comfortable wearing hides of animals I will eat, and thanks to a chronic condition will probably spend the rest of my life taking medication which was almost certainly tested on animals. However, cosmetic testing has always made me feel very uncomfortable. Medical testing for me is a necessary evil - there are no indie drug companies producing cruelty-free versions of my medicine, it's difficult to boycott something which offers no freedom of choice, and I need what I'm prescribed to keep well and healthy. Cosmetics, on the other hand, are fun but absolutely not a necessity, and I don't want Bambi or Thumper to be lipsticked to death.

I've always thought products sold in the EU (I'm in the UK) were fine as animal testing in the EU has long been banned. However, the sale of Urban Decay - who emphasised their anti-testing stance and have produced vegan products - to L'Oreal, a company which many boycott because of their alleged propensity to test made me wonder if I'm not looking hard enough. I'm aware there are lots of great specifically cruelty-free/vegan companies out there, and I'm entirely happy to investigate those as and when I need new stuff. My concern is about the stuff that's already in my make-up bag/shower, and available in the stores where I live.

The reason that companies selling in China is so controversial is because the Chinese government require all cosmetics to be animal-tested before going on sale there. Other sites, though, tell me it's fine to use these products as 'it's only done in China by other agents, not the companies', or take the stance that you have to be hardline vegan to feel able to care about it. And other sites have incredibly unpleasant images of abused animals which I'd frankly prefer not to see. With many companies being owned by other companies, it's hard to keep track of who's selling there and who isn't, and that ownership means that 99% of the products in the department stores and drugstores here may or may not be sold there.

What I want to know is: if I decide to buy a product from a brand manufactured in the EU who are selling in China, am I indirectly funding animal testing? Or is it still OK to buy things approved for sale in the EU? For example, there might only be two or three foundations on the mainstream market that fit my very pale skin, but if the bottle I bought in January is owned by a company who decided to enter the Chinese market in July, then I want to know whether I can replace this with a clear conscience.

Friendship is Magic

evilcupcakes — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 22:31:08 -0800

How do I tell my instructor that I would like to see him socially after the class is over without sounding like a stalker? You would think being direct would be the simple answer, but I am feeling socially awkward about the whole thing and need some advice. I am currently taking a college class from an instructor with whom I have a great deal in common personally and would be a great fit in my social circle. I would very much like to see him socially after I am no longer his student, but I can't figure out a way of approaching the subject without sounding as if I am asking him out on a "date". I am a female in my early 40s, he is male in his early 50s. I am happily married and he has a girlfriend. I will no longer be attending the college after I am done with his class (it's a foreign language for personal enrichment, not a degree).

I have written a thank you card to him 8 times, and each time it comes out sounding like I am either coming on to him or I am a crazed stalker. I contemplated saying something in person, but that never sounded right in my head either. I guess it never occurred to me before I was married that the simple act of asking a guy to coffee or over for dinner has the potential to be misconstrued. How would you word it?

Playdate conundrum

njk — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 14:02:18 -0800

My Son (Oliver, 8) goes to school. He has regular playdates and the occasional sleepover with other kids from his class. One of the children from his class is the child of a local politician, his name is Thomas. Oliver and Thomas are friends, but Oliver is friends with many other kids and some of whom he would prefer. Sometimes Thomas can be a difficult kid, not exactly sure what his status is, but he has more needs than most kids. With that said, he is only 8 and not a bad kid, quite polite. We have had drinks with Thomas's parents before and it was nice, however I made sure to avoid any political conversations as the father is the elected local representative of a party I find ... unappealing. I know the mother more than the father and we get along fine. With me so far...

Recently, our local politician (Thomas's father) has voted for in favour of some legislative items that I find _really_ _really_ _really_ offensive. The legislation involve exploring/updating the definition of when life begins in the criminal code. I cannot get over it. I am very pissed off at our local politician for voting this way, it was a free vote (not along party lines). I mean I am always pissed at the party he represents, but somehow I can look past it in his case. This being a free vote, well I cannot get passed it and at some point, its going to come out. I have written letters in the past, but have stopped over the last 3 years ... partly because of Thomas's and Oliver's relationship

Recently, Thomas's mother has been trying to organize a playdate/sleepover, which they have had before, couple times here couple of times there. My son is ambivalent about spending time with Thomas. If he had to choose, he would likely pick another kid to have a playdate with, but he would also like to have a playdate with Thomas ... he is permissive that way. Anyone, anytime.

So I hope you see were this is going, because my question(s) are kinda still jumbled in my mind..

Given that I basically control my son's social agenda, why would I steer him in the direction of people that I probably would not want to hang around with? Restated, why would I invest that energy when I can foster other social groups for him (and ultimately us). I dont think Oliver would care one way or another. However, I worry that it is not necessarily fair to Thomas (who really likes Oliver). Currently, I have been avoiding the situation, "sorry, so busy". Should I just come out and let Thomas's mom know what I am doing/thinking. Am I being too shallow? Grit my teeth.

This has been gnawing at me for a while, thoughts?

A Cat's the Only Cat Who Knows Where it's at

drunkonthemoon — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:37:22 -0800

My cat was hit by a car and had to have high risk emergency surgery. Once he has fully recovered, I am debating whether or not to let him roam outside again. Background: I have a two 1-year-old cats (Floyd and Pearl). Last week Floyd went missing for about 24 hours and came home looking lethargic and breathing rapidly. We rushed him to the vet and after an x-ray they told us he had a ruptured diaphragm, most likely from being hit by a car. They performed emergency surgery and he is recovering well. We hope to have him home by the weekend or early next week.

Obviously he is going to be a very ill puss for a few weeks if not more. He will be kept in one room for a while, with food, water and amenities, until he begins to recover. He occasionally play fights with Pearl but generally they get along well. However I have heard that cats can become hostile when one returns from a spell at the vet's, as the patient loses its "home" smell. For this reason we will keep them separated for as long as needs be.

I feel strongly that cats (who live in low-traffic suburban areas) should be able to roam outside. I understand the arguments for keeping cats indoors, and I would never judge anyone for keeping a cat safe inside. However, I personally believe that cats should be allowed to roam. My cats have been allowed to go outside for about 6 months now, and I find that they seem happier, calmer and are more well-adjusted now that they have their "other lives" away from us pesky humans.

However: Floyd is a bit...well...special. When we first let him out he went missing, and it was days before someone found him and contacted us. After that he rarely left the garden, but he LOVED being outdoors and would get quite annoyed if we wouldn't open the door for him. He's not a great jumper, and he's dangerously trusting - he loves jumping on strangers' knees and having a cuddle, and I've come across many a neighbour rubbing his belly on the street. He's just not quite as savvy as Pearl, and I worry that this in some way contributed to his accident.

My housemates (all men, all besotted with the kitty) are saying that we should just keep him inside for good after he recovers. I am not sure that I feel comfortable keeping him indoors after I've he's had such a long, sweet, taste of freedom.

Does anyone have any experience in this matter? Any advice much appreciated.

Intro to Humanism, Winter 2012

nelljie — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 00:50:51 -0800

If you think human rationality, and efforts to ‘predict and control’ are, together, shaky ground for ethics, what’s left? Please forgive my naiveté here, the last time I thought about this with any sort of precision was too long ago. (I’ve forgotten the main arguments and their authors, and the terms I’m using are pretty basic, and I’m going to make some probably silly leaps unbecoming of a person my age.)

As a younger person, I had a lot of faith in the potential of the institutions of government, law, medicine, education, and psychology to improve the human condition. From what I can understand, many humanists/naturalists have settled on these as the tools and rationale for ethical action (re the big things), in a generally modernist program. (The proposed or implicit ethics seem to be normative, organized around a notion of universal rights, & informed by Western psychological conceptions around health and flourishing.)

Re just sort of living, there’s an emphasis on cultivating empathy, respecting life, do-unto-others, etc. Which is a bit perplexing, given that most atheists, I think, assume metaphysical determinism, if they don’t like randomness. (Sorry, yes I said I’d be crude, I know I'm collapsing a lot here.)

But none of those institutions can contain chaos and tragedy. I've lived long enough to see that people are irrational and self-interested and unlikely to change. Most organizations are inert (or corrupt). Expressions of vitality are fragile. Luck/happenstance matters more than anything, for individuals as much as policies, and those individuals or institutions able to overcome circumstance to embrace action are again a function of luck (of personality, situation, timing). We just suffer, and always will. Which is one thing, there are always little pleasures to soften things, worthy in themselves, but the science that humanists use to frame hope is always mitigated by politics, which is always mitigated by stupidity. Apart from that, there's simple error. Pretensions to morality/hope/action that don't account for all that are misguided.

Who in philosophy’s good, then, for that, from where I’m at? More clearly (I hope): if we're irrational, & constrained by the limitations alluded to above, and for practical purposes, unpredictable, in what do we ground ethics and sort of daily life, barring things supernatural?

Runners responsibility for lost dogs?

dripped — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 12:35:01 -0800

A puppy chased me 5km from it's house while I was running, and I ended up dumping the dog on another home owner's whose dogs tried to come after me.... looking for opinions on what others would have done.
Last week, I was running one of my routes out in a rural area near my house. About 5km, a young dog chased me down, and decided to run with me. I yelled at him try to intimidate it into turning and going home, and he/she would run back 100 m or so, but then would keep catching up to me when I had my back turned. I did this 4 or 5 times, but the dog thought I was playing with it.
Now I didn't know where exactly he came from, and pretty soon i was probably 5k from where I picked him up, and almost back to my vehicle. At this point, I was trying to figure out what my responsibility was..... as I wasn't really that happy with inadvertently leading this young dog so far from home.....
Then I heard aggressive barking, and saw two more dogs coming at me from 50m away from a farm house..... my dog companion ran to the other dogs and all proceeded to bark and yelp while I kept going...then I heard the owner yelling at all the dogs to break up the fighting.
Kinda felt bad for dumping another dog on this guy, but his dogs were coming after me........and it was one of his neighbors dogs.....
What would you have done?

Ethical conundrum

NorthCoastCafe — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 04:37:39 -0800

A first draft document (press release) I emailed to a new colleague for reaction and comment in a new organization I volunteer for was headed 'for your eyes only', 'confidential", and "not for release." It was copied and distributed to others and a reply to me with the explanation, "I assumed you intended others in the group to see it." My disappointment stings. My trust non-existant. While I was highly motivated to do this volunteer work, in something I believe in and value, I fear future experiences will be as frustrating and discouraging as this one. Anyone ever have similar experiences? Options seem to me to 1. ignore it, 2. Confront directly, 3. Resign.

What should I do about this ethical issue at work?

queenba — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 12:03:59 -0800

Due to major recent changes in my field, I am now being listed as supervisor of most of the people I work with (including my actual supervisors), and this is due to my credentials. This is not information that is solely internal (since I am not actually everyone's supervisor) but actually is information sent to the third party funding sources, which I think raises a major ethical issue. Should I be allowing this to happen? What should I do about it?

Should a design company work for competing political candidates?

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 16:39:10 -0800

Is it ethical for a graphic design company to do advertising work for opposing political candidates at the same time? I work for a design company in my town that is highly regarded among local advertising agencies, so these agencies tend to come to us first when they want to execute high quality graphic design for them.

But our cash flow is directly affected by our client's cashflow, so when our agency clients dont have much work, we don't have much work.

A few months ago, we started doing work for a local Mayoral candidate (a extremely heated and contentious race in my town), not necessarily because we believe in his cause, but because we've had a long, fruitful relationship with the ad agency who brought it to us.

Recently, an agency who is doing work for an opposing Mayoral candidate approached us to do work for them. The partners at my company accepted this work, on the basis that "we need the work", as well as the fact that we also have a well established relationship with this agency, and don't want to say "no" to them.

Yes, we need the work, but we aren't anywhere near close to going bankrupt. Not even in the same neighborhood. Personally, I despise the ethics and viewpoints of one of the candidates, and should he win in November, I'd hate to think that my company had a hand in his success. I believe that designers are responsible for the work they put out into the world, even moreso when working on things like political campaigns. It just feels sleazy to be taking money from people who are running against each other, esp. when our creativity is supposedly being leveraged to help the success of their respective campaigns.

Am I being too idealistic here? And if not, how can I convince my partners that we shouldn't be doing this?

Synthetic People Having a Real Conversation?

CollectiveMind — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 09:49:49 -0800

I've created a promotional video for my website, which is currently listed as a Metafilter project called Conversus. The purpose of the video is to show how I can (with Google Translate) translate any conversation from most languages to most languages. I want to do this as part of the interview services I offer. In this video, I explain how this works by creating people using synthetic voice software, I give them names and I interview them. Since they are not real, am I being unethical if in a Twitter post, I say, "Rodney, Svetlana, Ying, Niles, Maria, Bridget, Nanette & Hassan talk about being interviewed."? I've been a journalist for a long time and ethics is kind of hard wired in, so I'm just checking a broader opinion base.

Friendship, Stewardship

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 08:38:40 -0800

What to do with an awol friend's large object? A friend left a large possession in my care to store, nearly twenty years ago. The item was of personal significance in this person's youth. We shared warm but tenuous rapport since then, and have drifted out of touch in the last decade. I don't have current contact info for this person.

We are moving and won't have anywhere to store this large item.

What to do with this thing?

a) friend had many years to reclaim said thing

b) thing was of personal significance at one time

c) ?

Ethics of web-design and copyright

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 09:25:51 -0800

What is a reasonable amount of 'look and feel' to copy from another website? I've been working on developing a simple website for my business. I was converging on a particular design strategy but the site did not look very good. I then found another website that used a very similar design approach, but had a beautiful layout. The other website belongs to a company that is a large and famous product design firm (Firm X). I am in a two person company in a completely different industry.

Is there some reasonable amount of look and feel that I can ethically justify? Firm X's site is made using html, css and javascript. I cloned the site to explore how the site was made and all of the code is beautifully written and extremely elegant. What I would like to use are the image positioning, the javascript image overlays and the javascript image popouts. The logo, icons, font, images and text would be different but just changing these elements does not seem to make the site look very different. Both sites are very simple (they are just one page) but the difference between them is significant.

At a personal level, I don't want to take the entire site and reuse it as it feels wrong. However, I would love to use some of the design elements and code. I emailed Firm X to ask if I could, and how much it would cost but as they are quite big I suspect they may not get back to me. Also, I suspect that they are not interested in selling pieces of their website. I did read through some previous Ask questions on this topic from the last few years. Q1, Q2 & Q3

I crossed marriage boundaries with co-worker -- now what?

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 15:02:31 -0800

My friendship with coworker evolved into something which is apparently neither "just friendship" neither ethical behaviour. [English is not my native language, please excuse any errors within]

Myself and my co-worker are both married. We've talk occasionally and once or twice have eaten lunch together. About a year ago she got pregnant and instantly later she's got sent to a paid medical leave due to it endangered pregnancy. Somehow we've decided that we should meet outside work. So we did and have met about once a month for about an hour. We've met at her house, and once I drove her to the doctor. Every meeting was just coffee, tee, some cakes and small talk. Something unexpected have happened during this time. We have never spoke about it but we've started to hug and kiss each other (in the cheeks) for ours hellos and goodbyes (in our culture only family, lovers and very close friends kiss and hug during meetings). We've carefully scheduled our meetings during our spouses unavailability. Neither myself neither she have said a word about our meetings to our spouses. When I drove her home after doctor's appointment and was leaving my car she said "I'm sorry I can't kiss you because someone might see us". I gave her perfumes, she baked me a cake. After birth we've stopped our clandestine meetings but started calling each other every few weeks. Once again our conversations were just 10 minutes small talk, but she called me during work hours in a place when she wouldn't be overheard by her husband or her mother-in-law. There was none physical contact with the exception of aforementioned kisses and hugs.

My co-worker is coming back to work after her maternity leave and it seems that I am having an affair with her. How to handle that ethically? I know that I should stop it but have no idea how. We have never acknowledged that we are more than friends so I can't say to her "sorry I can't have an affair with you". Also I'm afraid that when I mention it she would deny anything more that simple friendship. Should I tell my wife?

Academic mefites: Did I compromise the review process?

Milau — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 14:10:31 -0800

How much of an ethical breech is mistakenly sending a request for peer-review to a group of 5 people? I made a mistake on Thursday afternoon and I can't figure out how bad it is.

I'm organizing a pannel for a conference. I had discussed it with a few people.

One of them sent me a request to review a paper for a journal she edits. In her email, she 1. asked me if I could review a paper and 2. asked me about the panel. The paper-review request is automated, so I answered that part on-line and started answering her questions about the panel. Midway, I decided to include the other panelists. And... Of course, I forgot to remove her email, where she asks me to review an article (with the abstract of the article attached).

To put it another way: now everyone in the panel knows I was asked to review this article. I don't think anyone in the panel wrote that paper, but I'm new faculty and I'm not sure I understand the full ramifications of peer review ethics - other than it has to be anonymous.

I wrote to her the minute I realized what I had done, but have yet to hear from her.

In your opinion, how bad is it? How should I handle this?

Should I support flyer distribution?

Dragonness — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 06:06:53 -0800

Should I take the flyer/free newspaper offered to me in the street? I am torn between helping the guy get home sooner, and not supporting an environmentally harmful practice.

Hey kids, lying is bad...

bizzyb — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 20:00:20 -0800

So I'm thinking it's a bad idea to include a chapter by Jonah Lehrer in my college's first-year experience course, given that it would be placed right after our discussion on academic dishonesty. Can you help me think of a replacement? Specifics -- the selected reading is the chapter "The letting go" from Imagine, in which he talks about the creativity of the area between having strict control over something and not having skill in that thing. So there's something about improv, surfing, art, music, and so on. There are several of us teaching the same material, so it's helpful when any readings cross several different areas. We're using the reading to open up a discussion on divergent thinking, particularly in terms of how that might relate to the future of education.

So, any ideas at all are welcome. This certainly includes fiction, poetry, TED talks, etc. If you think I'm being crazy and that I should just fact-check the chapter and go with it, tell me that too. If it were my class alone, there's no question I would drop it, but sometimes I feel like I'm overly reactive on things like this.

Congratulations, new priest! (I don't agree with what you're joining.)

vegartanipla — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 21:07:38 -0800

Is sending a congratulatory card to a newly ordained Catholic priest ethically problematic for people who disagree with the Catholic Church on political and social issues?