I can buy a bike from Shop 1 for 20% off MSRP. They're local, but not too local, and I have no particular allegiance to them. The 20% is a discount for members of a certain group. I'd prefer to buy the same bike from Shop 2, which is more local to me and which I like more. Is it ethical to ask if Shop 2 can give me a discount as well (whether 20% or less), or do I need to suck it up and decide between a discount and my preferred shop? [more inside]
I work for a small organization and the more I learn about how my boss runs it, the more wary I become that some of what is happening is not just mismanagement (as I first assumed), but possibly unethical and maybe even fraudulent behavior. Can/should I stay working there? If I stay, how can I work effectively when I have such reservations? [more inside]
I work for a small, but somewhat prominent in its domain, company that has issues. These issues are not entirely apparent from the outside due to the company's excellent PR and HR offices. I don't want to leave the company right now for my own reasons, but I also find it difficult to try to convince people to work for the company without stretching the truth further than I'm comfortable with. How do I handle interviews when I believe that the company will fail? [more inside]
Hi. I work at a nonprofit organization, and we have a non-governmental grant that pays for my salary and program expenses. It's coming up on the end of the grant year, and I have leftover funds. I'm not sure I agree with a directive coming from my boss about how to allocate the leftover funds in the budget. I need some people with on-the-ground nonprofit experience to tell me if my ethical line is stricter than the general best practices one. [more inside]
So, I own a house. My three kids and I went away on vacation leaving my very needy dogs in the care of a housesitter. The housesitter was an acquaintance: a good friend of a good friend, but someone that I had only personally met a few times. I have non-obvious cameras in my house. Not in the private areas like the bathroom or bedrooms, but in public areas like the living room and kitchen. I, perhaps stupidly, did not tell the housesitter about these cameras and then, guiltily, reviewed the footage upon returning home. Now I don't know what to do. [more inside]
I work with a team of people (less than ten) under a supervisor who consistently uses insulting, bullying language and intimidation tactics that are so detrimental to team's morale and productivity that we have decided to take this to our company's anonymous hotline for reporting misconduct. How do we best phrase our concerns/strategize our approach so that the company takes these concerns seriously? [more inside]
We've been renting out our house (which we own) as an AirBnB apartment, and for more than a year things have been going really well. Recently, however, a break-in prompted AirBnB to cancel a long-term booking, stiffing us on the last month's rent with no notice. [more inside]
My young adult cousin is mentally ill. The exact diagnosis is unclear, but it's some combination of schizophrenia/psychosis, likely with some OCD & depression mixed in. I'm wondering if it's ethical that his psychiatrist hasn't told him his diagnosis and whether this suggests that the treatment he is receiving is subpar. [more inside]
Hi Metafilter, I hope you can help with a question about ethics, fetishes, and relationships. [more inside]
My soon-to-be ex-wife is having a long-term affair with a married man. Should I tell his wife about it? [more inside]
Over the holiday weekend visiting NYC, I ordered, and then canceled, a car (from a major NYC car service) to come to the house I thought I’d be visiting in the suburbs and take me to La Guardia at 6 a.m. I then decided to stay where I was in Brooklyn and didn’t need the car after all. So I canceled with the service the night before, at around midnight. [more inside]
I've received a "Performance Improvement Plan" due to poor output and communication problems. This is almost entirely due to issues in my personal life that are resolving themselves. However, at most companies (probably including mine), a PIP is basically a way to build a paper trail before firing someone. While I'm going to work as hard as I can to improve performance, this is probably the time to start looking for other jobs. What is ethical for me to tell interviewers about why I'm leaving my current position? There are plenty of things I can cite that I don't like about this job, but none of them would normally be enough for me to quit. [more inside]
I would like to hear from health/wellness professional who are supervised (by choice or through professional obligation) on a regular basis. [more inside]
There's a way I could, legally and within the rules, shop wholesale - even though the purchases wouldn't really be for my business. Do you think this is okay, MeFi? [more inside]
In my past, I was very experimental. Now I'm wondering how much of that I'm obligated to tell my SO. [more inside]
I'm scheduled to appear on a game show and I just found out that a guy I went to high school with years ago used to work for that particular game show, but no longer does. I think this might disqualify me and I'm Not sure what to do. [more inside]
Over the past few weeks, at my suggestion, my wife has taken up exchanging highly sexual emails and chat sessions with other men. This is a turn-on for us both, and our sex life has benefited enormously from the habit. In conversation, when I suggest that she could move onto IRL sex, her reactions vacillate between,"I don't think I could do that", and "I don't know who we'd ask...maybe we should take out an ad?" The most revealing thing she's said is that a part of her feels like she owes it to herself to take a chance on doing this. So my questions are: how do I encourage her to go through with it, without the encouragement crossing into "pressure". And secondly: given that we're both introverts with very small social circles, where do we find, and how do we approach, interesting guys for her to sleep with?
Help us determine if we're over reacting to a company paying at-risk adults below minimum wage because they can. [more inside]
I'm applying for a job in automation software development but from what I have on my resume, I've only touched upon the subject. However, what my resume doesn't mention is that I was active in the Warcraft botting community developing profiles and behaviors and made programs that botted various online games, surveys, and web forms. I'd be very happy to "go legit" as it were and use my skills for good, but mentioning that I have a good background in automation would prompt questions of specific examples and I don't know how I could talk about it without sounding like an unethical person.
I am planning on leaving my company in late spring to go to grad school in the fall. Am I employing the ethically right approach here? [more inside]
I'd like to report something to the FBI but I don't know if it would be dangerous to me to do so. [more inside]
Our store occasionally has customers who appear to be mentally unstable and who would benefit from medical help. What, if anything, should we do for them? Is it any of our business? [more inside]
Is it ethical for a graphic design company to do advertising work for opposing political candidates at the same time? [more inside]
What to do with an awol friend's large object? [more inside]
What is a reasonable amount of 'look and feel' to copy from another website? [more inside]
My friendship with coworker evolved into something which is apparently neither "just friendship" neither ethical behaviour. [more inside]
Should I purchase a home that I found out, after submitting an offer, belongs to an alleged (charged but not convicted) pedophile?
Should I purchase a home that I found out, after submitting an offer, belongs to an alleged (charged but not convicted) pedophile? [more inside]
I work for a non-profit. A personal friend of my boss is trying to poach me to a much better paying job in the private sector. What is the ethical way to navigate this? [more inside]
Is it ethically questionable to knowingly start working for your future competition? [more inside]
Should I steal my former employer's best employee? [more inside]
First, I know most of you are not a lawyer and none of you are my lawyer. I understand the basic protections and requirements surrounding attorney-client privilege. I have an ethical, and potentially legal, dilemma. While consulting with my attorney recently, my attorney admitted to having committed a crime. [more inside]
Ideas for how to handle it when a sibling you are very close to is heading into a line of work that symbolizes everything you are against in this world? [more inside]
I see a therapist on a regular basis. I have health insurance with a small copay for these visits. Some time ago, my therapist asked that I pay the difference between the fee they bill for (their full rate) and the negotiated rate that my health insurance pays to them. This increases my out-of-pocket costs dramatically. Is there something odd about this arrangement?
There's this woman I never wanted to be friends with, and somehow we've been friends for almost 10 years. Is there any way to stop being friends with her without hurting her feelings?
There's this woman I never wanted to be friends with, and somehow we've been friends for almost 10 years. Is there any way to stop being friends with her without hurting her feelings? [more inside]
Is it troublesome to be able to obtain access to the names and e-mail addresses of students, faculty, employees, and alumni of a university? If so, how should I go about reporting it without being misinterpreted or punished? [more inside]
I went away to boarding school in 1993/4. During 1993, a teacher there who was sexually inappropriate. I sort of lost track of him, but found out today he is now the Head Director of a school, and on the board of the Assoc. of International School Heads, It was a long time ago, and I cannot prove anything, and do not want to go in guns half cocked, but I feel like I should say something. What are best practices here?
My wife is leaving a position with a not-for-profit due to a hostile work environment, unethical behaviour on the part of the executive director, and coworkers abusing organization time and resources. Should she approach the board of directors with this, or cut her losses and pretend she is only leaving for the money? [more inside]
How can I deal with romantic feelings towards an employee to maintain both my sanity and business? [more inside]
I agreed to take a teaching job at certain community college, and now, just two weeks away from the beginning of the semester, it looks like a much better job is about to come through for me. What are the ethical considerations of backing out? [more inside]
I just finished up a small project that I way overestimated. I sold the project for a fixed bid, nominally based on the hourly rate I charge for my services. The customer has already paid me - should I offer to refund the difference? [more inside]
I'm a woman in a longterm committed relationship, and I love sex. Over the years, I've started to feel that I don't get anything out of giving my partner blowjobs, and the unfairness bothers me. Yet not being excited by giving it or wanting to give one also makes me feel guilty, like I'm not being a good partner or being the stereotypical woman who hates blowjobs, which frustrates me. [more inside]
Do I have to tell my future employer that I quit my current job? [more inside]
My husband found what appears to be a diamond, fallen out of a jewelry setting, in our box at the opera. If no one claims it, what to do? [more inside]
I'll be graduating from college this spring and am looking at jobs. I'm also in the running for a scholarship to go abroad, which I have about a 50 percent chance of getting. Should I mention this to potential employers, and if so, when and how? [more inside]
Potential employment triangle: Company B is flying me out to interview, how do I handle this with Company A, who is also actively recruiting me? [more inside]
Several years ago I left OldCo for NewCo, but maintained a lot of friendships with people from OldCo. NewCo was taken over by XCo, who made a lot of changes. XCo interested OldCo in some products. [more inside]
How does someone know if a stimulant medication (adderall) is helping them the way it was intended to for ADD, or if they are searching for a reason to continue a substance that makes them feel good (aka addictive behaviors)? Where is the line between a "need for functioning" and "it makes me feel better therefore I function better"? Don't most people function better on a stimulant? (also some ethical questions inside about working in the mental health industry...) [more inside]
Is it okay to date a student once the semester is over? [more inside]
Medical Ethics question regarding physician at hospital referring patient to physician's own private practice. [more inside]
Ethical dilemma at work: I work for a Fortune500 technology company, and one of my responsibilities is to assist with designing solutions for customers with complex requirements. The company is currently finalizing a very large deal with an organization that is well known for funding campaigns aimed at discrimination against a certain group of people, and I am being asked to design a solution for them. As a member of the group being discriminated against, I am understandably very reluctant to get involved in this deal in any way. I happen to know that my immediate supervisor's political views is such that he likely wholeheartedly agrees with the customer's stance in this matter. Do I have any ethical and/or legal grounds for refusing to deal with this customer, and, if so, how do I go about it without jeopardizing my career?