Hi Metafilter, I hope you can help with a question about ethics, fetishes, and relationships. [more inside]
My soon-to-be ex-wife is having a long-term affair with a married man. Should I tell his wife about it? [more inside]
Please help me decide how to ethically consume books now that I'm the owner of a brand shiny new Kindle. [more inside]
My best friend just found out that someone bought a bunch of his drawings and paintings online, framed them, and then probably presented them in a 2-person gallery show as their own work... [more inside]
I've been contracting with a company that is most likely going to make me a job offer this week. It's a contract-to-hire deal, which I was pretty excited about when it started, but over the past few weeks my wife and I have decided we want to move across the country to be closer to her family. The job is remote so in theory I could keep it, but then we'd have to pay our way across the country. What to do? [more inside]
Over the holiday weekend visiting NYC, I ordered, and then canceled, a car (from a major NYC car service) to come to the house I thought I’d be visiting in the suburbs and take me to La Guardia at 6 a.m. I then decided to stay where I was in Brooklyn and didn’t need the car after all. So I canceled with the service the night before, at around midnight. [more inside]
I've received a "Performance Improvement Plan" due to poor output and communication problems. This is almost entirely due to issues in my personal life that are resolving themselves. However, at most companies (probably including mine), a PIP is basically a way to build a paper trail before firing someone. While I'm going to work as hard as I can to improve performance, this is probably the time to start looking for other jobs. What is ethical for me to tell interviewers about why I'm leaving my current position? There are plenty of things I can cite that I don't like about this job, but none of them would normally be enough for me to quit. [more inside]
Inspired by this post on the blue, I was wondering if MeFites who have gotten their beloved French bulldogs from good breeders would care to share some info. [more inside]
Does the military have institutionalized roles in its bureaucracy for ethicists analogous to the role of 'bioethicists' in the life sciences? [more inside]
I heard this in an ethics class several years ago. I believe the original fable is Indian in origin, but I'm not sure. Here is the overview according to my memory: [more inside]
I've written a middle grade novella (age target approximately 10 to 14 years, 26,000 words). I had what I thought was the rather simple idea of asking my next door neighbor kids (and friends of my son) if they could read it and give me feedback. They were enthusiastic, they'd never read a book by someone they knew. Then I thought, they are performing a valuable service for me. Shouldn't I be paying them? [more inside]
I would like to hear from health/wellness professional who are supervised (by choice or through professional obligation) on a regular basis. [more inside]
Are there jobs where having a *thin* skin is an asset instead of a liability? Where being loving, caring, emotional, sensitive are a good thing and you don't have to fight those tendencies, especially as a leader? [more inside]
If I'm interviewing with companies just for my own benefit -- to practice interviewing, to learn more about what kinds of compensation I might command, even to see what kinds of jobs are out there that might be a good fit for me -- and know early on that I'm not interested in ACTUALLY working for the company, how far into the process can I get without being a total jerk? [more inside]
I recently fired a doctor because she doesn't take credit cards or insurance. Can anyone think of a legitimate reason for this? [more inside]
Today, I was enthusing about a photograph from the surface of Mars, and a friend responded along the following lines: "I find it hard to get excited about it when there are so many starving people here on Earth. We should fix our own problems before exploring other planets." How could I have responded? [more inside]
There's got to be a word or phrase for when someone chooses to sympathise with or prioritize the pain and suffering of a perpetrator over their victims. It's not "victim-blaming" which is about making a judgement of fault or cause of the act itself to reduce the level of the crime, but where people put the weight of their attention and efforts towards the perpetrator and there is comparatively little for the victims. I'm especially interested in a phrase or ethical/theological concept that addresses the hypocrisy of this, where this sympathy to the perp is viewed as a Great Moral Kindness in rehabilitating the sinner while refusing to acknowledge that that effort comes at the cost of further silencing and refusing voice, aid and power to the victims.
There's a way I could, legally and within the rules, shop wholesale - even though the purchases wouldn't really be for my business. Do you think this is okay, MeFi? [more inside]
A few weeks ago I saw this FPP and found it to be very enlightening. Since then I was exposed to some similar but much lesser academic work and found questionable references in it. My issue - should I just drop it or do something more substantial? [more inside]
What is the best topic with lots of reference material that deals in International Business Ethics? Something like a review on international bribery or the sale of vaccines or baby formula for profit. I'm looking for the topic that will be the easiest to write because there is so much reference material available. [more inside]
I wrote a lengthy scholarly article last year, put a preprint of it on my university's institutional repository, and thought no more about it. In January this year, a British journalist published a piece of popular military history with a major British trade press that appears to contain about 6 pages of very, very close summary and paraphrase of my article. What to do? [more inside]
How many fish are killed for every fish oil pill I consume? [more inside]
I'm wondering how people get into the field of ethics? Are they lawyers? Are they chosen (in much the same way that judges are) for their moral standards and good reputations? [more inside]
Ethics and friendship filter. Help me find the courage to tell my friend that this introvert is not going to stay in a single hotel room with two double beds and three non related people. It's already been advanced booked and I'm expected to pay my share. [more inside]
How did you react when your psychiatrist disclosed their own mental illness to you during a session? Have any other mefites had this experience or heard of it? During my 4th consultation (over 6 weeks) with a psychiatrist who is treating me she sort of casually disclosed that she herself suffers from bi-polar disorder and that she has in fact been hospitalised 3 times in the last 12 months due to it. [more inside]
Many people I know who aren't global warming skeptics are still planning to procreate. Though I might like to have a kid someday, the thought of their future quality of life strikes me as a potentially decisive ethical objection to it. While I've seen plenty of arguments against procreation that deal with the ethics of creating more consumers, that issue is distinct from the ethics of creating new sufferers. Can you point me to any well-reasoned arguments--whether yours or something you've seen, on either side of the issue--that deal with the ethics of choosing to bring children into a hotter world? [more inside]
In the 70's (I think) there was an essay written on meat-eating that argues that the animals we eat exist because we bred them for eating and if they are raised humanely then they have had a life which they would not have had. The author might have been Annie Dillard, John Ashbery, or Wendell Berry. I just would like to find this specific essay. Please do not turn this into a discussion of the rightness or wrongness of the premise.
Sorry in advance for the moderate dose of TMI... if IUDs and lady doctors eek you out, read no further. [more inside]
In my past, I was very experimental. Now I'm wondering how much of that I'm obligated to tell my SO. [more inside]
Philosophical persectives on slaughtering animals for food required. Help me work through unexpected questioning? [more inside]
I remember reading a seminal short story notable for raising ethical issues about simulated consciousness, but I can't recall the title or author. I believe a group of researchers were trapped in the simulation, being used to draft papers for the Professor. [more inside]
How can I find mutual funds to invest in that are inline with my ethics? For example I am vegan, liberal, pro-choice, feminist, not anti-gay, etc. To that end I'd like to not have companies that test on animals, engage in discrimination, are part of war effort, etc. Looking in my mutual funds there are some companies that I don't know about, and some that are sketchy like tobacco companies. [more inside]
In my life I've heard a number of stories from women who claim to have been told they could not have children... who then proceed to have children without intervention. Sometimes, this is an extremely welcome development, other times, very much the opposite. Saying something like "you will not be able to have children" with such certainty seems like an extremely irresponsible thing for a medical professional to say to a patient and so I have a bit of a hard time believing that doctors say it, at least in any case where it is at least physically possible for someone to conceive. [more inside]
I'm scheduled to appear on a game show and I just found out that a guy I went to high school with years ago used to work for that particular game show, but no longer does. I think this might disqualify me and I'm Not sure what to do. [more inside]
I'm not ready to become a vegetarian yet, but I would like to eat more ethically. What meat products are the worst to consume from an ethical standpoint? What are the most ethical to consume? [more inside]
I'm a nurse. Recently, a police officer approached me at work to ask me some questions about a patient. I discussed the issue with my supervisor who clarified my hospital policy on talking to the police, but how do I figure out my personal legal and moral obligations around this? [more inside]
When (if ever) is it appropriate to take a piece of guerrilla art down and keep it? [more inside]
Asking for a friend. In a nutshell: My friend has been contacted by at least two different people seeking to identify their biological father, a sperm donor. My friend has enough information to make an educated guess about the identity of the sperm donor. How should he proceed? [more inside]
Over the past few weeks, at my suggestion, my wife has taken up exchanging highly sexual emails and chat sessions with other men. This is a turn-on for us both, and our sex life has benefited enormously from the habit. In conversation, when I suggest that she could move onto IRL sex, her reactions vacillate between,"I don't think I could do that", and "I don't know who we'd ask...maybe we should take out an ad?" The most revealing thing she's said is that a part of her feels like she owes it to herself to take a chance on doing this. So my questions are: how do I encourage her to go through with it, without the encouragement crossing into "pressure". And secondly: given that we're both introverts with very small social circles, where do we find, and how do we approach, interesting guys for her to sleep with?
I run a small blog (three part-time people, all editorial) in an industry known for having a cozy relationship between press and marketers (fashion). I didn't go to J school and never expected to be a journalist. Is there a useful best practices / ethics guide for folks in my position? [more inside]
I'm trying to find an old webcomic I read years ago, possibly linked from metafilter. I remember that it was a really text heavy comic (large walls of text in speech bubbles). It made an analogy between committing immoral acts and climbing stairs. You don't just do evil things outright, you bend what is acceptable to you a little bit at a time, like climbing stairs one step at a time. I also think the webcomic overall had a feminist theme.
Help us determine if we're over reacting to a company paying at-risk adults below minimum wage because they can. [more inside]
Is it immoral or unethical to stay in a relationship just long enough to get into a situation where I can leave? [more inside]
Hi, I am curious about how photographers view the ethics of digital manipulation. Do you know any articles or discussions where I could learn more? I'm interested in a variety of views from photographers in different fields. Thanks!
I have a question, which I think is about morals and philosophy. I'm pretty sure I can elucidate the thing I'm looking for pretty clearly and hope this doesn't turn into chatfilter. Mainly I'm wondering if formalized discussions of this exist and looking for resources to read up on it. I call it "The Sign Painter's Dilemma" but it could also be a Tattoo Artist's Dilemma... [more inside]
Is it possible for me to be the "Mistress of Ceremonies" at an event where I would introduce a keynote speaker who works for an organization that has taken positions that I, personally, find very problematic? [more inside]
I'm applying for a job in automation software development but from what I have on my resume, I've only touched upon the subject. However, what my resume doesn't mention is that I was active in the Warcraft botting community developing profiles and behaviors and made programs that botted various online games, surveys, and web forms. I'd be very happy to "go legit" as it were and use my skills for good, but mentioning that I have a good background in automation would prompt questions of specific examples and I don't know how I could talk about it without sounding like an unethical person.
My husband got a ticket, but the ticket writer got his information wrong, can we get away with not paying? [more inside]
Recently I became friends with a group of people that lie and act in deceitful and unfair ways towards others - so I say, they apparently find it perfectly okay. Is it right to hold your friends to your own personal standards?
I am planning on leaving my company in late spring to go to grad school in the fall. Am I employing the ethically right approach here? [more inside]