Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with employer

Help me not freak out at my boss or have my boss freak out at me

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:15:19 -0800

How to deal with a boss who might have Asperger's? I'm the new nanny for a 4-year-old child on the Autism spectrum. At first I thought my boss was a self-centered and rude to the extreme. We have been working side-by-side because her child is difficult to handle.

She completely forgot that I need to eat food. She dragged her former nanny through a museum at super speed though she was suffering from a severely injured toe. Every time I mentioned something not directly related to her, she looked at me like I was a space alien. What an asshole, right?

Then I got to know her a little bit better. It became clear that she is making a significant effort to make me feel comfortable and valued. The effort does not always translate correctly. For example, she freaked out at the prospect that I might want to eat the food in her apartment. I don't get a lunch break to go out and get lunch, besides, I need snacks, drinks, etc throughout the day. She stated that their housekeeper purchased her mother's food for her mother. So it is her mother's food. My boss took that to mean that her mother would never allow me to touch it. We're talking basics like milk, grapes, bread. Then, the next day, she told me I could eat her mother's food because, of course, her mother doesn't mind. This is a good example of her literal-mindedness and ignorance of some social norms (you let the people who are stuck in your home for 8+ hours a day drink your milk).

She now makes an effort to ask me about my life, in a bit of a stilted way, as though she scheduled that particular 5 minutes for "ask nanny about her life". She listens to my jokes politely although she does not have a sense of humor for anything but the completely absurd. Even that tends to get a surprised laugh/guffaw instead of a happy laugh.

She lectures. Oh, the lectures. They are long and boring and she does not notice when I want to talk or respond. She has described an excellent memory and academic success (in the top three of her class at Ivy League law school). It's not an issue of intelligence.

Keep in mind that I work side-by-side with her for 2+ hours every day (the rest of the day I'm with her child alone).

Questions:
Do you think she has Asperger's?
Do you know someone else who has Asperger's? What is it like to live/work with them?
Where can I learn more about it? I get the basics that one can find on wikipeda, so I'm looking for higher-level, more complex writing either by or about adults with Asperger's syndrome. Books, websites.

Any general suggestions about getting along with her, as someone who is extroverted, cheerful, playful, and somewhat inconsistent (meaning, I fluster her by not adhering to predictable routines)? Things that I should avoid doing?

The job is just what I'm looking for--challenging, their place is nice and cozy, the commute is great. Financially, I don't have another viable option. I had been looking for full time work for 4 months before finding this job. So "quit" or "find something else" are not good answers.

How do I rid myself of a bitter "fuck you" attitude I'm now feeling towards ANY future employer?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:41:07 -0800

I am bitter towards companies in general, and that's not a useful attitude to have as (hopefully) a round of January interviews approach. Help me. I was laid off more than a year ago. When I was laid off, I was told -- at some length -- about how the decision was not in any way, shape or form a reflection of how they felt about the job I had done for them. It was strictly based on seniority -- they were cutting many people that day, and of them, they were cutting the two most junior employees in the department in which I worked. I had been there for nearly three years, but I was still the second most junior employee in that department, and thus was shown the door. (Parenthetically, I have an educated guess that the local human resources employees who laid me off that day had next to no slack on who was selected; I am pretty sure the company's central office micromanaged precisely which cuts were made from where with no input from local HR. Some of the people let go elsewhere were bulwarks of that company who, if local HR had any input, would almost definitely have been kept.)

At the job prior to this last one from which I was laid off, I was fired. It was good that I got fired, because it shocked me into realizing a faulty tenet that I had been carrying around until then: that somehow, some inherent sense of justice in the universe meant that I was "owed" a place to go where I could give them my labors and they would give me money in return. I still don't think I did a poor job there, but there were a number of significantly distracting and very large-scale personal issues going on in my life that really prevented me from giving my all, and in retrospect, my firing was understandable, if not kind.

That changed at my next employer. I grew to actually really like that company. I devoted myself to my job, and brought all my skills and talents to it. I went above and beyond; I was constantly given sterling reviews and better-than-the-company's-average annual salary bumps. I was one of those guys that everyone feels fairly warmly towards. I was always willing to offer anyone a helping hand if I could possibly do it. I was never even asked to do it, but I gave them a lot of free overtime, cumulatively, figuring that being asked to stay late 20 minutes or so wasn't bad, especially as the company was equally flexible with the extremely occasional moments I needed a little give.

The tenet I began to form at this employer -- again, subconsciously -- was one I think a lot of people share. If you give an employer your best, and make yourself as invaluable and as good a "buy" for their salary money as possible, then you're a valuable asset and the company will accordingly continue employing you.

Now, it feels as if that can't be relied upon either, and the replacement proposition one might form from my experience is: "An employer will be happy to fire you the moment its bottom line is threatened. It has absolutely no interest in you other than as a cog in its processes; if you're a bad enough worker, you'll break the machine and then they'll fire you. But they don't care if you're a particularly good cog, either. They'll swap you out the moment they want to."

And, to some extent, I know that's true. But it's also a deeply cynical worldview that inclines one to go around each and every day with an attitude of "Fuck you, [employer]!" And not only does that incline you towards being a poor employee, that also is just a poisonous emotion to have in your psyche about the place where you'll spend eight-plus hours of each day. I really don't want that emotional baggage in my head each and every day. Some other stuff has had me a lot happier in general, so I really don't want to be renting brainspace to this emotion for an indefinite lease.

I've not been confronted with the question yet because companies have simply not been hiring for my position for most of the past year, so interviews have been near non-existent. That is already showing signs of significantly changing next month.

How do I do this? How can I go to an employer and interview with them and not feel so deeply hostile towards a company that, as of yet, will have done nothing to deserve it?

Does my informal job contract at least state an intetion to pay for my vacation?

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:39:21 -0800

Does my employer owe me vacation time? Does my contract make clear an intention of paying for my vacation? I work as PA for a wealthy woman. I was hired quite informally and given two options of how I would be paid (see below). I am 80% sure my boss mentioned that when she took her two weeks vacation in the summer, I'd be paid because she didn't want me to be left in dire straits just because she is going to Dubai or whatever. I know verbal reassurance doesn't matter in the long run. More importantly, I agreed to this contract quoted below (copy-pasted from our emails), except obviously with real salaries filled in. I chose option #2. It seems to me that even though I picked the hourly rate, the "both options" part regarding vacation time means I get two weeks paid vacation. Is this right? The contract reads as follows:

"Option 1: $1200/week
-Hours would be 9:30-6:30, if you work later than 6:30, I would pay you $30/hour
-Weekly rate, even if I take a day off
-public holidays paid

Option 2: $30/hr
-Hourly rate (so if I take a day off, it's unpaid)
-no public holidays paid, in other words...paid for hours worked

Both Options:
-2 Weeks Vacation ($1200/week)"

Yes? No? Or does the document need further elucidation?

When the woman left for vacation, she didn't pay me and I forgot to ask in the hubbub of getting her and her 4 chihuahuas to the airport on time. A couple days before she returned, I sent an email letting her know that I was going to count the past two weeks as my vacation as well, and wouldn't be taking another two weeks off this year. We peripherally discussed it again when she returned, and because she seemed totally oblivious to this condition I re-sent the email document. Nothing happened. My husband and father both looked over the terms and say that the contract states an intetion to pay me $2400 vacation time.

To be clear, I don't think this woman is trying to screw me over as much as she has simply forgotten, but it's getting close to the holidays and that unpaid two weeks is really hurting. If I asked flat out, she'd pay me, but I I want to make absolutely sure that the email in question seems to state that she meant to pay me before I walk in demanding two weeks' salary.

United Way or the Highway

Saucy Intruder — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:47:09 -0800

Has anyone held their ground against a peer-pressure United Way solicitation (specifically the "100% participation" scam?) How did you do it? How did you avoid adverse consequences, particularly where very senior people are directly soliciting subordinates? What is the "polite" way to get out of this, if any? (I don't have anything against charity or even against the UW. I'm sure they do great things. But my contributions will be donations, not bribes. I make my own decisions about where my money goes. And after a decade of this bullshit, with more than one employer, I'm putting my foot down.)

How strictly is the letter of the law followed in reviewing job applications?

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:56:03 -0800

How confidential is confidential when applying for a job with a small pool of colleagues? I am going to be applying for a job in another city, and an employer at the place I will be applying to and likely one of the people making hiring decisions has a very close connection to place where I work now.

I am planning on putting down on the application to please not contact my current employer (there is a field in the online application to do this).

Does anyone have an idea of how strictly this request is generally followed? I would rather my current employer didn't know I was searching for a new job, but considering how close the person I know at the position I'm applying to is to my current organization, I'm afraid that word will get around.

So, if you are in HR or had experience in the past hiring people, can you tell me how strictly you followed the letter of the law here? Or if you have any general knowledge about this issue, I would love to hear thoughts.

Thanks in advance.

What training and orientation does your workplace provide to new employees?

Jaybo — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:35:50 -0800

What sort of training and orientation does your workplace provide to new employees? I'm particularly interested in what libraries do with new employees - both front line and support staff - but would also love to hear what what other organizations, companies and sectors do as well in case I could adapt something for our library's new employee orientation plan.

I'm interested in anything from the type of training that new employees are given, how long it lasts, how formalized it is, who leads it, what it is comprised of (do you use manuals? Online modules? Are these developed in-house or obtained from somewhere else?) If employees receive one-on-one training or group training? How does it differ depending on the role of the employee (what does a front line public service clerk get versus a librarian versus a support staff member working in say, IT or Marketing?)

Politely communicating that your site needs a total makeover

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:29:07 -0800

How does a lowly unpaid blog contributor tell his/her bosses that the whole site needs a major redesign? I've had the privilege of being invited to contribute for my former employer's new blog, and I've been enjoying producing some content on a weekly basis or so as part of a team of 5-6 people. However, their entire content management system is archaic, buggy, and needs a major systematic and aesthetic overhaul. I'm talking no RSS feed, disappearing posts, a comment system that doesn't even allow users to leave their names. Worst of all, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm the only person involved in this whole project who is tech-savvy enough to be aware of solutions such as Wordpress that could fix this situation (or Drupal, if they wanted to fix their whole site.) And I'm no IT expert myself.

I'm having to balance my distaste (to put it mildly) for the way they're running this new blog with my admiration for the organization in general for allowing me to contribute, as well as my important and delicate professional relationship with them. The main communications/IT person has served as a reference on job applications in the past, and I care very deeply about how these important contacts view me if I end up working in their industry full-time in the future. I just graduated college and lack full-time employment, so I know that having this opportunity is an important privilege and professional and personal relationship I would never want to damage.

I guess this is a question not only as to whether I should or should not say something, but if I should, a question of communication. How can I express that their site, particularly this blog, has such an outdated look and feel that it must be negatively impacting their credibility without sounding like a snooty, ungrateful young upstart? Can I offer to help them redesign their site, or at least get them a Wordpress, without sounding or acting like I know better than they do? Is there a way to avoid the risks and pitfalls of this situation besides shutting up and putting up with this web 0.5 silliness? Similar experiences and suggestions for content management systems or blog hosting sites are also welcome.

throwaway email: helpmefixmyemployersblog@gmail.com

Dealing with an old, ugly college transcript

Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:38:57 -0800

An old problem that I figured was more-or-less permanently in my past has reared its head. Even though I graduated from college a decade ago and have since gone to law school, a prospective employer is demanding my college transcript. I did poorly in college - I got three Fs and had to take a year off at my school's insistence. My question is, when I send along my transcript, should I include any kind of explanatory note, or just leave things be? (A few more details inside.) As I mentioned, after getting three Fs, I had to take a year off from school. When I came back for my senior year, I did a lot better academically. A few years later, I applied to law school and got into a top school, where I also did well academically (Dean's List two of three years). I got a job with a top law firm, which I held until recession-induced mass layoffs a few months ago.

In other words, I figured I had managed to put my ugly college transcript behind me. So this request was rather a surprise. (I was also surprised to be asked for my law school transcript, as no other prospective employers have sought that either, but that one doesn't really matter.)

When I was applying to law schools, pretty much every application had a section where you had to explain any prolonged absences or "disciplinary" actions taken during college. I had a short mini-essay where I described my experience, and how I bounced back from it. My subsequent success is, to me, even further proof of how distantly in the past my poor college grades are.

So, do I bother pointing all this out to these people? Or would that bring unnecessary attention to my college grades? It's not like they won't see them - they're obviously going to look at the transcript. But perhaps it's just better to let my post-college record (ie, law school & law firm job) do the talking. Thanks for your thoughts.

Taking over a project from a floundering employer?

thehickmans — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:10:57 -0800

My employer is running out of cash, in debt to suppliers, and has had trouble meeting payroll several times this year. My gut says I'll be out of work in a couple weeks, a month at the most. I'm working on and managing several web development projects where a deposit has been provided by the client, but we're several months away from completion. Do I approach the clients, let them know the situation and propose completing the projects on my own for the remaining amount of the project? A couple of other points - there is no other new revenue on the horizon, and I just found out my boss has given his notice.

I'm not doing this purely for my own benefit, as I'd genuinely like to see the clients get what they're expecting.

Has anyone experienced this type of situation? Is this horrendously evil?

I want to add my wife who has serious pre-existing conditions to my health insurance plan at work. How do we make sure her condition will be covered?

Anonymous — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:24:47 -0800

I want to add my wife who has serious pre-existing conditions to my health insurance plan at work. How do we make sure her condition will be covered? My wife needs orthognathic surgery but her insurance (HMO) will only cover a portion of it under a doctor she does not trust and will not address all symptoms involved. I have a much better plan at my work, but have noticed that when adding someone to the plan, there is a waiting period of 6 months for anyone with pre-existing conditions before they will start to cover them.

My wife is in constant pain everyday and doesn't think she can wait any longer, nor do the doctors she would like to be treated by, as her condition gets worse everyday. My first question then, is there anything that can be done to shorten the waiting period?

If we must wait the 6 months before she can get the surgery, so be it. It's too costly to even attempt to pay it out of pocket right now, but we absolutely can't have her go without medication and physical therapy to help relieve the everyday pain. But on the new plan, would these treatments be considered part of the "pre existing" condition?
Is it possible for her to keep her current plan just for these things WHILE she is on the waiting period for my plan?

Also, in terms of other things that would not be covered due to the pre-existing mess, would these things also include consultations with surgeons? MRI's? any testing she would need for the eventual treatment she would receive after the 6 months is up?
Or are these "tests" going to be excluded as well even though they are just tests and not actual treatment?

If you come to work with the 'flu, why can't I come to work with the weepies?

Anonymous — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 08:13:45 -0800

I disclosed depression at work. Most of the things people tend to do in response to a depressed colleague are things which actually make me sicker. What to do? I've lived with depression for years. Mostly I manage it quite well and I've never disclosed it at work. Today, my boss caught me crying and asked me straight up what was wrong. I told her. She was cool, and understanding, and has promised to keep my disclosure confidential. But she told me to go home and wants to talk with me later about workload.

How do I work in an environment where the person managing my workload knows that I'm impaired? It's a stressful industry. Everybody has bad days and the work still has to be done. I don't want to be the emotional gimp of the office and I don't want special treatment. It's embarrassing to be allowed not pull my weight and I'm afraid that any reduced output will reflect poorly on me in the future.

I'm young, ambitious and working on a short contract in a very high-pressure industry. I know my workplace probably is full of crazy people of various descriptions, but there's a lingering attitude that if you can't handle the heat, you should get out of the [metaphorical] kitchen. I'm already concerned that disclosing my condition, whether directly or by being seen to have a meltdown at work, will mark me out as being ill-suited to this job. How can I convince my employer that I can handle a stressful job despite having a stress-sensitive illness?

I would very much like to hear from successful people in stressful jobs who have managed depression at work without becoming the Fragile Employee of their department. I just need to know that it's possible.

Can I negotiate pay with employer who pays into my unemployment insurance?

wastelands — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:05:21 -0800

How much leeway do I have in negotiating the pay rate of an assignment from an employer that pays into my unemployment benefits (under Oregon laws)? I got laid off by an employer. Right now I'm on unemployment holding out for a pay rate that I'll call $X/hour, from any company in the field. The last rate this employer paid me was $X-7/hour. Being that they're one of the companies that pays into my unemployment insurance, and, AFAIK, I lose UI benefits if I refuse a re-hire offer from them, how much negotiation power do I have to demand a higher rate were they to offer to re-hire me? Is it even possible? Or do I have to take what they give me, even if it's rate $X, which was less than what I'm worth? Oregon law applies here.

What do I do with a car allowance every month?

Anonymous — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:49:53 -0800

My company is very eager to give me a car allowance. I wanted a raise. They countered with a lower raise, but added in a car allowance to bring the total higher than what I asked for. Why? My understanding is that a car allowance will be taxed like regular income. Talking to co-workers, some use part, all or none of their car allowance for actual automobile related expenses. They simply deposit it into their bank account if they don't use it. A car allowance is taxed as regular income, isn't it? Does the employer get taxed less on this? They seem to be really be pushing this, and on face value it looks better than what I originally asked for, I don't want to bite the hand that feeds me.

I do not use my car on business a lot, and if I were to accept this I probably just hole the money away, what's the deal here? Do I get hit with a large tax liability I don't know about? For the life of me I can't figure out why they'd go through the additional processing to cut me a check every month, and not just give me the raise I asked for. It leads me to believe they get some sort of tax benefits, but I could just be paranoid or wrong.

Stuck On An Ambiguous Barrel

DU — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:34:11 -0800

How do I say "no, unless..." to my boss's boss? A tiny bit of background: The company I work for is medium sized (several hundreds, maybe a couple thousand employees) but broken down into autonomous groups. It's a research place, so we have some of the positives of economies of scale but also some of the positives of small tech startups. My own group is about 100 people in 4 layers from "CEO" (group leader) to "staff" (software worker bees like myself). Actually, while my official level is "software bee" I'm the only software person working on a fairly large, fairly high profile project. So I'm a bee, but not a monkey.

I'm also a contractor. The place has great benefits (both financial and social, such as being able to use on-campus stuff) but only for regular employees. When I was hired, 4.5 years ago, I was told that sometimes people get "converted" to a regular employee and though I was never promised anything I did hold out hope. Occasionally I made noises to my boss (B) who brought it up with his superiors (he has no power to make those decisions).

About a year ago I decided to bring it up with the next level myself. (Our small size made this not a faux pas (I think).) My boss's boss (BB) was very...."encouraging" isn't quite the right word because it connotes that he encouraged me when it was really the things he did that made me feel encouraged. For instance, when I emailed him he wanted to talk right away and didn't put me off. He needed some information and set a date only a few days in the future for me to provide it, which I did. I walked away from that experience feeling like my "conversion" was imminent.

6 months later, I asked again what was up with it. He told me not to lose hope, it wasn't a dead request.

Today, I got instructions from BB to do a 15 minute presentation in front of the 100 person group. My first instinct is to say "Sure I'll do this extra work that I really, really hate...once I get the full benefits that any regular employee gets." But I don't want to burn bridges by starting a fight. And BB is a genuinely nice guy who may even have my interests in mind by doing this.

The reason it might be in my best interests to give the presentation: I told B this morning that "I don't think it's fair to ask me to do extra work when I'm not getting full, let alone extra, benefits." According to B, giving occasional briefings is something the company considers regular staff should be able to do. So perhaps BB is standing me up in front of everyone to bolster his case that I should be "converted". Then again, B told me this same thing last time I was asked to give a talk. BB has never said anything like this, at least that I remember.

So basically, the question is this: How do I break the news to BB that I am angry and frustrated without being angry and frustrated? I don't want blow this up into an "I'll quit if you don't convert me" thing. I just want to express the fact that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, but without implying that HE is taking advantage of me, if you see the distinction.

Running out of time

emelenjr — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:07:22 -0800

A two-part workplace question. HR people and anyone familiar with contract employment, heads up. Last month, I panicked because I realized my employment contract at Big Credit Card Company was nearing its two-year limit. I was afraid that the month of December (which this year features my brother's wedding as well as Christmas) would be my last month of employment. So I e-mailed my rep at the staffing company who placed me in my current position. Rep said fear not—due to my Jan. '07 start date, the end date wouldn't fall until April '09 instead of Jan. '09.

Phew.

On Thursday this week, I had a meeting with my hiring manager at the credit card company, who informed me that the negotiations either to grant me an extra extension or to hire me off my contract weren't fruitful, so my last day would be in Jan. '09. I informed my hiring manager that my rep at the staffing company had said otherwise, to which my hiring manager said he knew nothing. Following the meeting, I forwarded the e-mail between me and my staffing company rep to my hiring manager, who said he'd get back to me.

Now. Realistically, I don't think the staffing company's e-mail will change very much about the credit card company's two-year policy for contractors. (Contractors can work no longer than two years, and then must take a 90-day hiatus before they can be brought back in, if needed.) I suspect the most it will do is get my rep in some hot water for not having her facts straight. But maybe I'm wrong. January '07 to January '09 does make sense, so I understand my hiring manager's point. However, as recently as last month, the company that negotiated my contract with the credit card company did make a point to tell me I was wrong to think the contract would be up in January.

Part 1: Is the fact that I have written documentation from my staffing company basically saying, "No, you're wrong about January. Your end date will fall in April instead," worth anything? What's my best course of action if the staffing company rep says, "Oops, my bad. You've got 90 fewer days left than we both thought"?

Part 2: Any tips for staying psyched up about a job when I know the end date is looming closer and closer, and there's nothing I can do about it? I've been terminated (by surprise) before, but this is the first experience I've had with what's basically a planned layoff. I do not look forward to starting over somewhere else, and I'm not at all in the mood right now to begin trying to sell myself to another employer. Also, it's hard to avoid feeling like the last two years have been a waste of time. My job duties won't be going away any time soon, and someone else will need to fill my seat (in all likelihood, someone trained by me.)

Can I file a complaint about a 401k rollover problem?

mayann — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:56:04 -0800

Is there any regulation governing how long an employer can take to process a terminated employee's request to withdraw her money from the employer's 401k plan and send to a roll-over IRA (there was 0 employer contribution to the 401k)? It took a former employer 8 weeks to process my request. I lost out on a $300 bonus TDAmeritrade was offering for IRA rollovers. It is all my own money and I think I should have been able to gain access more quickly to it. Any grounds on which I can file a complaint?

Bitch better have my money...

Fupped Duck — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:11:45 -0800

Negotiating Filter: Please help suggest a way to negotiate with tight fisted mgmt so they will recognize an above the call of duty sale with an above the call of duty commission above the existing commission structure A friend is a national Sales Mgr for a small company that manufactures a unique (patented) device for boats. The company is owned/operated by the husband (inventor of the device) and his wife. Sales have been good with steady growth in the 5 years since they started up.
As sales manager, he routinely sells to dealers and the occasional distributor, and is compensated for this with salary, + a small commission plus bonus if certain goals are met.
Some owners are very much enlightened and cognizant that its a team that makes their company a success and it comes across in the way they share the spoils of success.
These owners, not so much. Their attitude is more akin to "we thought of it, and the employees are here to help us capitalize on our continued success".
The last sales manager quit after he missed his bonus by less than 1/4 of a percent (in large part due to production probs caused by the owners). They declined to pay his bonus, and pulled up in his and hers Mercedes the next day. He left over this not long afterwards.
At issue here is my friend the sales manager, at a trade show, has opened up a very large new account with a very large boating mfr, and at higher pricing than they give distributors (for scale, a distrib account is usually a bit smaller than the value of this new deal with the snow mobile mfr).
So this is a home run for the SM, and now that the deal has been cemented, he'd like recognition in the form of a higher commission than he normally gets since this is far and above a larger account than he's expected to land.
He feels quite certain that if he doesn't ask for more, they won't offer more on their own initiative.
Asking outright seems like a sure path to sore feelings / expectations on both sides of the table. I suggested that he present the deal with pride to the owner along with an explicit pledge to repeat this performance if the incentive is there, but even that message presents a real risk of being poorly received and generating acrimony . Is there a better way to broach the topic?

I found out I need surgery and I have no health insurance.

likeapen — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:31:13 -0800

I found out I need surgery and I have no health insurance. Should I go back to my former employer and ask to be added for a couple of months more or would that take 3 months again like when I first started out? Has anyone done this before?

Re: That Job I Want

landedjentry — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:43:33 -0800

Job applicant reminder emails: Nuisance or Necessity? I'm applying for a bunch of jobs that prefer email submissions or have form apps on their website. I realize the job market's tight right now, but I've gotten few responses in the three weeks I've been looking.

Most listings say things like "no calls, please" or "we'll contact you if we're interested." Is it still worthwhile to send a reminder email, say, a week or so after I applied? Traditional wisdom says yes, you should call, but it seems online etiquette would suggest differently.

I'm a little worried I've been doing something wrong, as several of my former M.A. classmates have been getting jobs and interviews with little problem. I'm going to talk to them, but I'm wondering if any of you had advice. Thanks!

FWIW: Recent graduate with an M.A. in new media/politics, applying to entry-level communications/nonprofit jobs mostly in DC and other east coast cities.

Where to apply to become a tour guide in Japan?

DoctorFedora — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:10:02 -0800

Getting a job as a tour guide in Japan? For reasons not worth going into here, I'm looking for information (i.e. companies to contact, for example) on becoming a tour guide in Japan for English-speaking groups. Preferably in Kansai or Chubu regions, though I'm mostly just looking for a step in the right direction and then hopefully working from there.

Assume for the purposes of this question that a work visa is a nonissue, although places that could be applied for from within the United States would probably be preferable. Japanese language skill is sufficient for this sort of thing.

Meet Fido, Head of Document Destruction Services.

invisible ink — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:03:41 -0800

Inspired by this thread, how do I go about finding an employer that allows its employees to bring their dogs to work? For those of you fortunate enough to be in this type of situation, how did you find your job? I am a patent prosecution paralegal and open to the idea of relocating.

How to form an alliance with the IRS?

Anonymous — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:37:00 -0800

How do I bust my employer for TAX FRAUD? Yes, my employer is TOTALLY defrauding the government. He runs a retail business (about $15M Gross/year) in California. I have ALL sorts of documentation about not reporting large sums of cash (3-4M during christmas season), all sorts of documentation about where that money is physically kept, and a written discussion about how they get around good accounting.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it either about how open they were about all fraudulent activity. The employers also are HORRIBLE to all the employees...they scare them into subservience. So i want to bust them!

How do I do this? If you're going to refer me to this, yeah, I've been there and done that. I filled out the form, included ALL sorts of relevant info (tax forms, contradicting bank statements, emails, etc, etc.). I did that over a YEAR ago, and still haven't heard back. I also decided to do it with my real name/address/contact info. It wasn't even anonymous, because I knew how ludicrous it would sound to have ALL this concrete info about HUGE fraud. It really is crazy.

I understand that the IRS doesn't really have the time or manpower to investigate "my neighbor claims to use gel ink pens for work. But I see him using it for personal tasks". But this is HUGE. They have been defrauding the IRS for AT LEAST $1M EVERY year for 5+ years.

Anybody have any real advice. If you would prefer not to post on here, please feel free to message me.

Stay awesome, MeFites.

How long does my former employer (in New York State) have to get me my final paycheck?

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:45:14 -0800

How long does my former employer (in New York State) have to get me my final paycheck? I recently resigned from my job. It was a fairly amicable split - I gave my two weeks notice on January 25th and let them know that February 8th would be my last day. The regular payday of February 15th has come and gone, and I still haven't received my final check.

I know some states like California have very strict laws about when the final check has to be issued, and I know that New York state gives the employer slightly more time, but I haven't been able to figure out exactly how long they have. The Department of Labor website hasn't been any help. Can someone please let me know where I stand legally?

BTW, if it matters, the company is in serious financial trouble and was not able to make payroll for its current employees on the 15th.

Am I being underpaid?

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 10:35:24 -0800

Am I getting screwed by my employer with regard to pay? I really like my job. It’s everything I want it to be and my employers seem to be pleased with me as well and tell me they have big plans for my future. I’ve worked here for three years and though I started on a pretty low salary (considering my age, experience and university degree), I was willing to accept it as I had no formal qualifications in my field and I was fine with the idea that I needed to prove myself. So the last three years I have spent studying and taking exams. I will get the results of my final exam in a few weeks (I expect to pass) and then I will have a qualification which is probably the highest qualification in my line of work and highly regarded. However, ahead of my results, they decided to give me an unofficial promotion and basically pass the new job responsibilities over to me that I was promised once I passed all my exams (which I was very happy about, it’s what I had been working for).

We got our annual pay reviews today and I got the lowest possible increase that I was expecting. I was thinking in a range and the figure I got was the lowest end of my range. My boss told me that our parent company generally uses a 1.5% increase per year as guidance, and takes into consideration all of our benefits, which are quite good. He said that I had gotten one of the highest percentage increases of all the staff (10%). However, despite me having a university degree and now one of the highest qualifications in my field and having lots of new, major responsibilities, I don’t even make the national average salary. And I’m not in a low paying field - I work for a large multi-national bank in what should be a decent paying job.

I’m pretty confident that with my qualification I could get a job with a higher salary. I believe I could make at least 20% more. Can you please give me some perspective? It seems like a huge insult that in my 30’s and with the education and qualifications that I have that I would not even make the national average. I feel like I’ve had a carrot dangled in front of my face since I’ve started here and that once I gained all my qualifications I would be rewarded, and I don’t think I have. Well, I have in the sense that I have a lot of new responsibilities that I’ve been clamoring and working for since I started, but seemingly not the salary to back the extra work.

I have no idea how the whole process works and I may be over-reacting but I just feel hugely insulted. I’m hoping that someone who knows a little bit more about the process may be able to shed some light for me. If I am out of line, please let me know. If you think I should be looking for a new job, please let me know that too. I didn’t say anything at the time of the review - would talking to my boss about my dissatisfaction help? I have always gotten good performance reviews, my boss has let me know that they’re really looking forward to advancing me over the coming years. But they’ve been saying this since I’ve started and while they have done this (paying for training, giving me new responsibilities etc), I don’t think my salary has reflected this. Also, once the salaries are decided as far as I know they cannot be changed, so I don’t think it’s a matter of asking for more. Thanks in advance for any help.

Not exactly taming the shrew, it's more like tolerating her.

mitzyjalapeno — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 09:06:35 -0800

My very emotional former boss has become my friend. Please help me learn how to deal with her/mine/our issues. Long explanation follows. Alright, so I worked there for eight years. A year or so after I started, my manager decided to retire and trained me to take over almost all of her duties as well. She retired and suddenly, I was spending most of my time with the owner of the company, right across the desk from her, every day, and I was the only employee. I got a lot of on-the-job training, and I also became her very close friend.

With every day that passed, more responsibility was shifted onto my shoulders. After three years or so, the situation had become strange, although I didn't realize it, based on my limited experience in situations like this. Every morning I woke up and within twenty minutes she was calling, asking when I was coming in, letting me know what she expected of me, what the highest priorities were that day (this usually changed overnight and sometimes duting the work day) and I was on 24-hour call every day of the year. She called me on more than one Christmas to wish me a merry Christmas, but she followed it up with, "well, I wasn't going to ask you to do this, but since you're already on the phone..." It was difficult for me to just not answer the phone. We had last-minute crises, that she seemed unable to handle, and when I missed an emergency call, she would guilt me for months afterward. I expressed to her that I would never do anything to willfully harm the company or her, and she would say, "oh, I know. I'm just mentioning this bad situation because of how it's affecting us now, etc., etc." I fluctuated between feeling guilty and feeling manipulated and used. She was completely computer illiterate, and insisted on me handling all of her paperwork as well as my own, but she critiqued everything, down to every single word, but she was indecisive on what to write instead, to the point that we would spend more than a half-hour writing a single paragraph email. She was an extreme micro-manager - she would ask me to do something, and not thirty seconds later, as I was doing the task, she would ask me if I had finished it yet, and here's something else to do right now. On top of it all, I had no benefits, no sick/personal days and my pay was always just a few dollars above minimum wage. [She thought my pay was right in the middle of what was fair for what I was doing, regardless of the fact that I was working about 3 jobs every day.]

Upside: she was flexible with my time, she was sometimes understanding and she bonused pretty well, although not reliably. I eventually fought for and got sick pay, and I got raises, but it was based on her "feelings" of my productivity and not my actual productivity. [She didn't know everything that I did throughout my time there to make that office run, and she never tried to figure it out. Also, I never knew if I would be able to afford Christmas presents, for anyone, even my kids, until the absolute last minute. Some years the bonuses were huge, and some years the bonuses never came.]

Fast forward five years. The week before this Christmas, she got nervous and antsy, and she made me antsy. I began to snap at her, almost without being able to control it, and she snapped back and asked me why I was angry with her. All of my explanations were met with "I didn't say that, and I don't think that I could ever say that." I got frustrated and eventually walked out.

The company is in its busiest season right now, possibly the busiest since I started there, but I'm at a point where I can't turn back. I've looked into some other jobs, and I've been offered nearly double what I was making with full benefits and a third of the workload. I worked with her yesterday, to finish end of year taxes, and she broke down crying several times. She's also been crying on the phone. I can understand that she's in a bad spot right now, and that she's stressed. But I think that I'm being manipulated all over again, and I don't want to go through that again. I also don't want for her, as a friend, to feel that I don't care about her.

How can I express to her that I need to move on, but that I still want everything but the best for her? I've tried, but it doesn't seem like she believes me. Am I just being manipulated into coming back?

(Yesterday I went back to take care of employee and contractor taxes. I need to do my personal taxes, and I've already been contacted by several of the contractors for their info. I see yesterday as much for me as for her.)