I've written before about my elderly mom's dementia. This is less about her memory problems (and mine dealing with them) and more about a sticky financial situation she's in, thanks to my stepsister. You are not my lawyer, but legal advice would be welcome. Prepare for flurries, inside. [more inside]
So, my parents (in their 80s), like many older folks, lost internet connection when Microsoft shut down the former WebTV service in September. It was a perfect solution for them and it seems nothing has emerged to satisfactorily replace it, but we have special problems since they can only get dial-up in their rural US location, and cellular coverage is spotty and complicated. Plus I'm on a different continent (and not so good at that end of computer literacy anyway – especially since things work a bit differently where I am). Still, I'd like to know what replacement solutions people have come up with among those of you who have dealt with a similar problem, especially if you can't be on hand to address ongoing problems that might pop up. [more inside]
My mom, who recently sold her home and moved into senior housing, has expressed interest in owning some sort of computing device. She's basically computer illiterate, has never been on the internet, and has trouble using my TV remote control sometimes. Am I crazy to even consider getting her an iPad? [more inside]
My father has been using a plain old phone for decades. He's been somewhat visually impaired for a long time, but recently he started receiving an eye treatment in his one good eye that has reduced his vision even further. He also has low dexterity (though his mind's still totally sharp) due to a stroke earlier this year. He needs a new phone. Help! [more inside]
My mother is in assisted living, so she's inside much of the time, but has no control over the temperature of the building, and likes to walk outside when she can. She's asked me to find warm clothes for her to wear. I got her some fleece cardigans, but I'm having a hard time finding warm pants which are simple: pull on, no buttons or zippers. Difficulty level: petite, and not too expensive or fancy. She does have long johns, but simpler is probably better. Other suggestions of warming clothing are welcome, too.
My 80 year old mum is in palliative care in the hospital. She is physically failing but mentally still 100%. I would like to get her an MP3 player to let her easily listen to music and audiobooks. Difficulty level: must be EASY TO USE, must have BIG BUTTONS, must have a BIG SCREEN, and must ideally not be so expensive that if it went walkies it would be a disaster. I have an iPod Nano I could give her, but the screen and controls are very small, and I think she might have trouble working it.
My partner and I have been thinking about aging recently, as various relatives reach the phase of their lives where they're moving into nursing homes and retirement facilities. Our examples are mostly of people with children, but as most of our friends reach middle age without children, we were wondering: in the US, where we don't have ingrained cultural obligations or socialist structure, how do people go through older age without kids to take care of them? If you're in that group, what are your plans for your old age? [more inside]
My in-laws cannot live 120 miles from us on their own any longer. This is true. My mother-in-law is relatively healthy and 73 with all her mental faculties. My father in law is physically very healthy and 83 with dementia. Where do they live together? Snow flurry inside. [more inside]
I have an ageing relative who lives in Paris, France. He is highly functional and cognitively intact, but he has lost a lost of muscle mass in his legs and has fallen twice in the last year. How can I find a physiotherapist for the elderly in Paris? More beneath the fold. [more inside]
I need to purchase and configure a computer for my 95-year old grandmother so she can make Skype calls to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She lives in another state, so hands on assistance is not possible. My 70-year old mother is going to set things up for me; I just need to get the hardware and configure the software. [more inside]
Hi hivemind. I'm in Northern California and stumped. I decked out my lovely, elderly parents' place, but foolishly bought stylish soft couches/chairs with no arm rests. I now need firm couches and sturdy chairs before either of them has a fall because of balance/knee issues. But when I google, I often find articles about how important the right furniture is, but one one site that offers a selection of furniture options for seniors. Or I find sites that seem to sell such furniture in bulk, to senior living facilities (and often don't list prices without starting a business account). I'm wondering if I'm just looking in the wrong place, and if so, where should I look? Or, have you bought great furniture for someone with limited mobility? Where did you look? What do you like? Thanks!
My mom is in great health and decent shape for a 70-year-old and just completed 3 weeks of travel where she showed great endurance. Then she came back and "flunked" a stress-test :( [more inside]
My 90 year old grandmother lives by herself in a house in which she needs to use stairs, but it's getting harder and harder these days. I know about electric lifts, but I recall a news story about a year or two ago in which a British teenage girl made a simple but brilliant invention: a track is posted on the wall above the stairs, and a large handle swings out perpendicular, and you grab onto the post/handle and pull yourself up or down the stairs. What is this invention and where can I get one online? Googling is hard because I can't think of what you'd call this...stair walker?
My dad is around 70 years old and has subsisted on a steady diet of shortbread cookies (those ones in the yellow box from the convenience store) and vanilla Ensure drinks for the past 2-3 years. How can we help him to help himself and eat real, nourishing food? [more inside]
My father (age 79) has gone from keeping a cane in the car for occasional use to steady himself (through 2012) to being in terrible pain and needing a walker around the house (the latter after a Synvisc injection to the knee 2 weeks ago, knee swelling, and falling - again - at home alone). So far he hasn't broken anything in his falls, but I live 90 minutes away from him and he lives alone. He's accustomed to being quite active and has often been mistaken for a man 10-15 years his junior. [more inside]
My dad is 78 and his body is breaking down due to a long bout with Parkinson's. He's been in a rehab facility for the last month and his time to stay there (that is covered by Medicare) is running out. He wants to go home, but he will need 24 hour care and I'm not sure that's a feasible option for many reasons I'd rather not go into (not the least of which is that "home" is a 4000 square foot loft with plenty of places to fall, which is a real danger with Parkinsons patients) He and I are not (nor have we ever been) particularly close, and I do not live in the area anymore, nor am I particularly inclined to go care for him myself (not that I would have the expertise anyway). I do want him to be somewhere that he can be cared for and comfortable, though. [more inside]
I'm in search of a personal medical alert product for my middle-aged mother and somewhat overwhelmed by the volume of incomplete solutions, vague descriptions, sketchy resellers, and keyword hoarding. Help me be the best geriatric technologist this side of sixty! [more inside]
Ubuntu for the elderly? [more inside]
My 90-year old, very hardy but recently frail, mother now has pneumonia. Has anyone been through this, or something similar? Do you have any advice to offer about the whole thing - what to watch out for in her, what to say or do for her, how to deal with the hospital staff, how to handle my own emotional ups and downs as well as those of my sisters? [more inside]
Looking for prepaid phone recommendations for an older person in the US. No smartphone, no texting, just very occasional outgoing voice calls. [more inside]
I'll try to stick to specifically relevant snowflake stuff here. So, my father is 78 and has Parkinson's, which is compounded by long-standing blood pressure issues that leaves him prone to falling unexpectedly (moreso than a typical Parkinsons patient). He lives in a big loft in the East Village (NYC) that he's lived in for forty years, and has no designs on leaving. [more inside]
My 72 year old dad just was prescribed oxygen. He has portable units and then an electric machine for home use. He is supposed to fly from Dallas to Phoenix to visit me for Thanksgiving. I saw the Southwest regulations for his portable, but should I rent him a home machine or can he check his? Are they heavy? Are they expensive to rent?
Need recommendations on adventure games for elderly people. [more inside]
Historically, what were stereotypical views of the elderly? [more inside]
What can I do to protect my elderly mom from my abusive and greedy sister? [more inside]
Strategies for helping an elderly parent, who is living in assisted living, realize/come to terms with the fact that moving home will never be an option and it is now time to sell that home? [more inside]
Best simple cell phone for a senior citizen? [more inside]
What to do about a mentally unstable brother who's taking advantage of my elderly mother? [more inside]
How can I help my grandma feel less lonely? She has dementia and alzheimers, but it still pretty together most of the time. She should be surrounded by family, but isn't- we are all so spread apart. . . [more inside]
My 70+ year old mother-in-law just bought herself an iPad. Great! Except that she has LITERALLY never used a computer in her life. How should I approach teaching her how to use it? [more inside]
Computing for a 90-year-old? Gramps might finally be interested in the wonderful world of the Internet. [more inside]
80 years old, lost 40 pounds since May, no appetite, weakening, diagnosed with lung cancer today. What can we expect now? [more inside]
Please help me get a flight quickly & cheaply! This may have been answered in a previous question - if so, please point me in the right direction, but I need input quickly. [more inside]
Please tell me about your in-home elder care solutions in the US, specifically in the rural Northeast/upper Midwest. [more inside]
What happens to elderly people in the United States who have run out of retirement savings, can't work, and aren't getting enough from Social Security to cover their living expenses? [more inside]
Suggestions for dealing with an elderly parent who appears to be going senile? [more inside]
Will the cognitive problems associated with severe sepsis improve as the sepsis itself is treated? [more inside]
Can anyone offer me recommendations, guidance or personal experiences in choosing a "Rescue Alert"-like service? TL;DR inside. (I will never, ever use the term "snowflake" that way.) [more inside]
How to deal with potential theft by caregiver for elderly? Details inside. [more inside]
My elderly mother needs a project or three to do during the winter. What can you suggest? [more inside]
Elderly father, living alone a long way away, may not be coping. I am trying to investigate & get him help if he needs it - please tell me if I am leaving something out or overstepping the mark. [more inside]
If you were talking to a 101-year-old person, what would you want to know? [more inside]
Best Christmas gifts for nearly impoverished older family members (location: northern New Mexico). [more inside]
I will no longer travel with my elderly mother. Do I tell her so or just keep changing the subject? Details inside. [more inside]
Caring for elderly relatives: What is the best brand of lift-chair? [more inside]
My elderly neighbor lived in my rented room before I moved in. He still uses the public areas of the house as his own. What are my obligations? Lots of snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I'm getting an iPad for my (aging) mother -- what am I missing? How can I make this as simple as possible for her? If it's at all complicated, she won't go for it. [more inside]
This is my first Ask MeFi question, and I'm asking on behalf of my parents. My father is in reasonably good physical health but poor mental health, which may be related to the meds he's on and the "quality" care he's getting in the American "system". Are there some kind of additional resources for me or them to help make their way through the bureaucrat-ese and get some better care? And maybe some additional health care (or heck, elder care in general) resources I could find for them? [more inside]
I need a really simple digital cable television setup for my elderly, easily confused parent. [more inside]
My parents are being pushed out of their current rental apartment in Northern Virginia and need to locate a new rental by the end of October, but their circumstances are challenging and I need advice on how best to assist them.
My parents are in their 70s and are on a fixed income– a fairly low fixed income– and were forced to declare bankruptcy last year due to significant medical bills. These medical issues also made it difficult for them to maintain their household, resulting in an accumulation of dirt and debris that has forced their current rental complex to issue a polite but firm eviction notice. I am attempting to relocate them much closer to me so that my family and I can provide regular assistance to them, both financial and day-to-day, but they've already been rejected by two rather modest rental complexes (including one at which they previously lived for 25 years). To complicate matters, my mother is in a wheelchair and needs an apartment with few or no barriers (stairs, hills, etc.). Moving them into my home is not an option for a variety of reasons. I'm trying to locate a rental apartment somewhere in Northern Virginia and at this point would take anything. Can anyone tell me where to turn?