My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2009 - 28 answers

Anyone know of a very good hospice care center in the SW burbs of Chicago? [more inside]
posted by stormpooper on Nov 4, 2009 - 7 answers

Mother with terminal cancer, dad being an @#$ about her care, I want to take her in but it's complicated. How do I handle it? [more inside]
posted by stormpooper on Oct 12, 2009 - 34 answers

I would like to help my friends, if I can; two of them are individually dealing with incredibly stressful and sad health-related situations related to their parents. [more inside]
posted by taz on Aug 8, 2009 - 7 answers

My mother has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She has decided to stop treatment as chemotherapy is not working and surgery/radiation is not an option. The oncologist estimates she has about one month left. I have the option of taking FMLA and spending all of my time with her during her last days if I want. But I am not sure that would be the healthiest option for me. My mother says just take a day or two a week and try to live as normal a life as possible. But I feel selfish living my life while she is dying. Any one ever have a similar experience?
posted by burlsube on Jul 9, 2009 - 36 answers

My psychotherapist's husband is very ill, perhaps dying. I have a strong relationship with my therapist, but we have always maintained clear doctor/patient boundaries. What (if anything) can I do to offer support without overstepping the boundaries of our relationship?
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2009 - 11 answers

How can I best prepare for death or, I guess, the process of dying? [more inside]
posted by milarepa on May 15, 2009 - 39 answers

Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through? Explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2009 - 12 answers

What can I say when my boyfriend gets scared about his Dad dying? [more inside]
posted by trampesque on Feb 9, 2009 - 12 answers

Cousin Zach is a sweetheart, but I don't have the time or inclincation to attend everything he invites us to. How to say no tactfully? Guilt is involved. [more inside]
posted by frosty_hut on Jan 27, 2009 - 21 answers

Help me find a Sci-fi writers farewell letter. Could be Asimov, could be someone else. [more inside]
posted by monocultured on Dec 9, 2008 - 5 answers

Help me identify this quote about death, dying, and the end of the world! [more inside]
posted by Doug on Nov 19, 2008 - 1 answer

How can I make time slow down? [more inside]
posted by changeling on Aug 18, 2008 - 40 answers

Besides the Tibetan Book of the Dead, are there other ancient cultural texts about dying? [more inside]
posted by generic230 on Jul 30, 2008 - 10 answers

Dying dog. How do I make him comfortable? [more inside]
posted by kldickson on Jun 29, 2008 - 24 answers

My father was recently diagnosed with ALS. I could use your help, particularly if you have personal experience with it. [more inside]
posted by jabberjaw on Jun 23, 2008 - 12 answers

My wife's beloved grandmother died yesterday and we are wondering how to explain things to our three year old daughter. [more inside]
posted by TedW on May 22, 2008 - 17 answers

A dear friend's mother is dying of lung cancer. It's Stage IV metastatic lung cancer that has spread to her brain, bones and lymph nodes. She very much wants her remains to be donated specifically for cancer research and we're having trouble finding out how to do that. [more inside]
posted by judith on Apr 29, 2008 - 13 answers

Where does a will get executed if I die somewhere other than where the will was written? [more inside]
posted by GuyZero on Apr 14, 2008 - 4 answers

A co-worker has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Treatments have stopped and Hospice is now involved. He is 61 years old and has been working at the company for 40 years. We are an engineering firm and most of the employees are kind of... well... not the type to try (self-start) and do something for our co-worker of his family. I was wondering if there was anything I could do and/or have the office do to help, comfort, etc Obviously sending 'get well' cards is out of the question. ... I just don't know what it is appropriate. Any ideas? Thanks.
posted by KogeLiz on Jan 21, 2008 - 20 answers

A good friend just received a brain cancer diagnosis with an estimated one year survival time. She wants to talk about death and time. She thinks I have something to teach or tell her worth hearing. I'd like to be helpful, but have no confidence in my ability to say or do anything meaningful. What I've said so far she appreciates. What can I read that might help me frame discussions. I don't need pop psychology stuff, or advice dealing with the health care system or funeral arrangements. I like the idea of Zen notions of letting go but am too ignorant to know what to say. Advice, experience, suggestions for gathering information please.
posted by NorthCoastCafe on Jan 7, 2008 - 65 answers

Looking for some source of a quote about, or the general idea that, we are all slowly dying, but some are closer than others. [more inside]
posted by jckll on Nov 20, 2007 - 12 answers

I'm spending my Thanksgiving in Malaysia, visiting my one of my aunts, along with others in my extended family. I'm almost certain that this will be the last time I'll ever see her. [more inside]
posted by Weebot on Nov 16, 2007 - 7 answers

Questions about the practical aspects of preparing for someone for death and things the survivors need to do after the death. [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Oct 8, 2007 - 14 answers

My Mother passed away last week. She was 84 and spent her last days with hospice care and a few additional professional caregivers that were needed to ease the process. [more inside]
posted by jorlando on Oct 1, 2007 - 27 answers

My friend's sister just died. How to help? [more inside]
posted by salvia on Jul 14, 2007 - 19 answers

Have you considered writing your own obituary? [more inside]
posted by bkiddo on Apr 25, 2007 - 14 answers

my mother was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. do any of you have ideas for little things i can do for her to remind her how awesome she is? girls especially. what are some of the best, most thoughtful things loved ones have done for you? [more inside]
posted by andywolf on Mar 19, 2007 - 27 answers

What are the worst (natural) ways to die as an old person in terms of how it must feel for them? Are there ways to die for which the symptoms cannot be alleviated by medical means and it's just a completely dreadful existence until death? What fraction of people die old horribly? [more inside]
posted by vizsla on Jan 17, 2007 - 31 answers

I've got a Kodak CX7300 that keeps dying on me, which has a bunch of pics I need to pilfer at some point, preferably before it dies off completely. [more inside]
posted by Quarter Pincher on Jan 15, 2007 - 6 answers

What should be done/said when the family gathers to witness someone's passing? I need planning to distract me. [more inside]
posted by vytae on Dec 31, 2006 - 27 answers

[EtiquetteFilter] My mother and stepfather divorced about 8 months ago. They had been together for 28 years. I have not heard from him since the split, and (due to the nature of the split) don't have that much interest in doing so. Now, his mother -- my former step-grandmother -- is dying. [more inside]
posted by kaseijin on Sep 8, 2006 - 35 answers

Music/VideoFilter: Looking for the name of a music video with a Mexican Day of the Dead theme. [more inside]
posted by MasonDixon on Mar 13, 2006 - 9 answers

I'm trying to find an NPR interview/piece on recording the stories of elderly family members for future generations. I recently learned that a friend's father is dying of Lou Gehrig's disease and has been given between 18 months to five years to live. [more inside]
posted by OpinioNate on Jun 21, 2005 - 5 answers

How do I learn what to say to a friend in need? [more inside]
posted by schroedinger on Apr 19, 2005 - 18 answers

The book was probably published in the 1970s or 1980s, with green on the cover, black-and-white photographs throughout, and talked about the death of a bird. I vaguely recall a photo or two of the bird being buried in a shoebox. What is the name of this book, and who is the writer/photographer?
posted by itchie on Feb 28, 2005 - 10 answers

GriefandConsolationFilter: I (perhaps too quickly) volunteered to help assemble a memorial scrapbook for a woman who works for the same company as me, and who was murdered by her boyfriend a few days ago. I never met her and I hear she was very nice, so I'm fishing for any good poems, quotes, and or ideas. She was young (24) and died too soon but since we never met, I'm at a loss. All suggestion appreciated muchly.
posted by mrs.pants on Feb 4, 2005 - 6 answers

What can/should you do for a co-worker in your department who only has a few weeks left to live, and is already at the hospital?

Even if you aren't particularly close, one has the feeling one should do something. But what?
posted by ShawnStruck on Jan 14, 2005 - 15 answers

Tonight the father of a close friend of mine passed away. In the last month this is the third relative he has lost and his mother is in cancer treatement : more inside [more inside]
posted by elpapacito on Jan 11, 2005 - 11 answers

Haveyoueverbeendeclareddeadfilter? Yeah. More inside. [more inside]
posted by FunkyHelix on Sep 8, 2004 - 21 answers