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91 posts tagged with dying.
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Death, Dying and processing things as a five year old.

Help me talk to my five year old child about death age appropriately. We've talked about Fred Rogers. We've talked his feelings. We've talked about what he knows about it. He's concerned because his great-aunt died about a month ago, and now he wants to make sure we'll always be there. The problem is, in very short time his grandfather, my dad, won't. [more inside]
posted by Nanukthedog on Aug 30, 2014 - 12 answers

Help me make the most of the time my mother has left.

My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
posted by joan cusack the second on Jul 28, 2014 - 27 answers

Can i heal this dying cactus?

The house I live in was flipped and landscaped with these cactuses before we moved in. The largest one seems to be dying. It looks rotten in the center and even has some mold. I suspect the recent heavy rains and lack of good drainage. The question I have is two fold: Is it possible to fix this guy, or is he a goner? If I do replace the plant, what kind of plant is it, and how should i prevent this from happening again? Here are some pictures of the plant.
posted by jonclegg on Jun 1, 2014 - 10 answers

My dad has terminal lung disease. Please help me come to terms with it.

I just found out my dad has pulmonary fibrosis. He and I are both too young to deal with this. Help? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 24, 2014 - 26 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend about my ex who is dying?

My boyfriend (lets call him Mike) does not know about my ex boyfriend's existence (Lee). I found out his brother died a couple of months ago, and now he has the same disease and may or may not survive as well. I am quite upset about this, should I tell Mike about him or just keep it to myself? [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Oct 29, 2013 - 30 answers

There must be something I can do to help

Is there anything I can possibly do or say to ease my Dad's emotional suffering caused by his terminal prognosis? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I dye my dark blue flight suit to light blue?

I'm trying to go as John Glenn for Halloween (I work someplace with his name on it). Specifically I'm trying to go as this picture. The suit is apparently a light blue as you can see here. I got a navy colored flight suit, but the color is really dark - it looks almost black in some light. Is there a way to make the suit a lighter color of blue? [more inside]
posted by SeeTheTurtle on Oct 1, 2013 - 10 answers

Friend's Dad is Dying of Emphysema...

My friend's dad is dying of emphysema. I'm not sure what stage he's in. I don't think he's ready to die yet, but he's not in good shape at all... [more inside]
posted by ifranzen on Sep 16, 2013 - 12 answers

Smiling or expressions of delight right before death?

15 minutes before my mom died she suddenly opened her eyes, looked straight ahead (not at me) and smiled beautifully as if she was seeing the most wonderful thing imaginable. This gave us all a tremendous sense of peace. I once heard about a priest who was on his deathbed and he kept saying over and over "Its so beautiful, its so beautiful.." before he died. I understand his eyes were open and he was, also, looking straight ahead. We often hear about the body's processes shutting down at the time of death and the the lack of oxygen on the brain as its closing down but I'm referring to the hour or so before death - what are they seeing? Is the shutting down process starting early? Even so I don't think just seeing a light at the end of a tunnel was making the two cases mentioned so ecstatic. I always thought that my mother was seeing someone she knew and loved very much - it was that kind of smile - delight upon recognition. I have 2 elderly stage IV cancer patients in my family right now so death has been on my mind a lot lately.
posted by Tullyogallaghan on Aug 29, 2013 - 28 answers

Life is fatal. Why isn't it easier to die gracefully?

In the event that I have any control over it whatsoever, I want to die well. Recent family events and yesterday's NPR segments (1, 2) on end-of-life issues raise a fresh wave of questions about how to plan now for the best possible end later on. Is there anything in the works that looks like a living will but allows us in our younger healthier years to document the preference "if a, b or c happen, just guide me to the light with morphine"? I want to be able to die as peacefully and (perhaps almost as) easily as my pets can. And perhaps I should reserve this additional loaded question for a separate post, but what the hell: why do people care so much? [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Aug 26, 2013 - 20 answers

Book of humorous Christian short stories for men?

Can you recommend a Christian book for men, that contains a humorous collection of short stories? [more inside]
posted by magnoliasouth on Jun 21, 2013 - 10 answers

My thoughts about death have started making me afraid to live.

For the last 6 or 7 days, I've been fixated on death, and not in a suicidal context. How do people normally handle constant thoughts about their mortality, and how can I stop this from crippling my ability to "live?" [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Mar 19, 2013 - 45 answers

Advance Health Care Directive - End-of-life decisions - How do I decide?

Recently I had a California Advance Health Care Directive drawn up (free when you buy a Will!) Whoa... this is a tough question! End of Life Decision: A) Choice not to prolong life B) Choice to prolong life Which one should I pick? How do I go about picking one? More details inside [more inside]
posted by StrictlyVague on Mar 7, 2013 - 14 answers

What to say to a dying relative with a fractured relationship?

My uncle is dying - the doctor says days or weeks. I haven't said anything to him, or his wife, or his kids, since they got the cancer diagnosis a few months ago. Our families have had a historically fractured relationship, so it all feels very awkward to me. Please help me figure out what to appropriately say to them. [more inside]
posted by raztaj on Feb 25, 2013 - 10 answers

Dealing with family when someone is dying

It appears my Dad is in the process of dying - I'm mostly okay with that, but really struggling with the rest of my family. Could use some words of wisdom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 21 answers

Work to get in, work to get out.

Labor of death much like the labor of being born? [more inside]
posted by itsacover on Dec 16, 2012 - 5 answers

How to navigate end-of-life communications between estranged family members?

Elderly mom is ill. If it looks like she's not going to make it should I tell her estranged daughter (my semi-estranged sister) despite the risk of an ugly scene ensuing? [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule on Dec 7, 2012 - 32 answers

What to do with a dying 08 Macbook Pro?

I have a early 2008 Macbook Pro that has just now come down with the dying logic board problem. I bought it outside the 4-year period (so no free replacement) and have a new MBP anyways, so how can I get rid of it such that maximize my return value? [more inside]
posted by RyanAdams on Oct 27, 2012 - 7 answers

Help me dye a sweatshirt without damaging the decal?

I bought a heavy light grey cotton sweatshirt with a plastic-y large round decal on the front. I want to dye the sweatshirt black but not mess up the decal. Any advice on how to do it? Complication: the sweatshirt is used and older. [more inside]
posted by arnicae on Oct 21, 2012 - 7 answers

Name some examples of humorous tragedies in film and literature

I need suggestions of fictional or non-fictional books or films that deal with illness or dying in relation to humor/the absurd. [more inside]
posted by Felicity Rilke on Sep 19, 2012 - 23 answers

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

My mother is going to die, probably very soon. How do I deal with waiting for it to happen? [more inside]
posted by heurtebise on Aug 27, 2012 - 28 answers

I can't think of one, I'm exhausted

My 90 year old grandmother is barely conscious, rarely eating, and is losing her mental faculties. I visit her every lunchtime to try and get her to eat. My mother (her daughter) takes the evening shift for dinnertime. I'm not coping well. Any suggestions to help me make this easier, so I'm not sobbing my heart out every day? [more inside]
posted by malibustacey9999 on Aug 14, 2012 - 41 answers

How can we help our son know his father?

My husband has a few more months before cancer takes his energy, and then his life. We have a 17 month old son. My husband plans to write some letters to our son, but beyond that, I am not sure what to do to help my son know his father. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by Mozzie on Aug 13, 2012 - 62 answers

Is there hope for my cactus?

I have a little cactus on my desk. I don't know what kind it is. For the last several months, it's looked just fine. This morning, it's turned a brownish-green and started wilting. Is it just dead suddenly, or is there something I can do to save it? Here's a picture of it.
posted by faustessa on Aug 7, 2012 - 10 answers

How can she be gone when she was just here and I see her everywhere?

My mom died. Now what? (In the abstract, existential sense.) [more inside]
posted by ApathyGirl on Jul 31, 2012 - 28 answers

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dumpster

In the last year on our road into town in rural Vermont, we have seen the personal effects of 3 people who have recently died packed into dumpsters at the side of the road. In one case the family had a tag sale and sold all the valuable stuff (her crystal collection) and tossed the rest in the dumpster. For some reason this creeps me out big time and I don't want it to happen to me. Are there best practices for disposing of the personal effects of family members?How did your family dispose of the stuff of the deceased that you didn't want? Yes.... I know about a will and have one.
posted by Xurando on Jan 22, 2012 - 20 answers

Does knowing the cause of death help in coping?

Why do I care so much to know the cause of my friend's recent, unexpected death? [more inside]
posted by cellojoe on Oct 10, 2011 - 14 answers

Death As It Truly Happens

What documentaries accurately depict the dying process? [more inside]
posted by dephlogisticated on Sep 24, 2011 - 11 answers

Sorry for the morbid question.

Hospice and palliative-care providers often tell patients' families and friends that as people die, hearing is the last sense to go. Is there any science behind the claim? [more inside]
posted by evidenceofabsence on Sep 23, 2011 - 10 answers

It wasn't really that nice knowing you...

How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by katyggls on Aug 19, 2011 - 26 answers

Can this apple tree be saved?

A 5 foot tall tree I planted last year looks almost dead (leaves are dried up) but there are two foot tall healthy shoots coming out of the base of the tree (at ground level). Now what? [more inside]
posted by cda on Jul 9, 2011 - 7 answers

PrivetFilter

Why is this privet hedge dying? [more inside]
posted by bad grammar on Jun 2, 2011 - 7 answers

My Dad Needs a Better Son or Daughter

There will soon be a death in my family. I'm worried this one's going to be especially hard and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on Apr 19, 2011 - 19 answers

Help me find a career working with the dying

Help me find a career working with the dying and/or those close to them. [more inside]
posted by Waldo Jeffers on Apr 10, 2011 - 6 answers

What do you do at a funeral?

Funeral Question: So my grandmother died. The wake is on Thursday and the funeral is on Friday. I've never been to a funeral before and not any Catholic services before. What's expected of me? What can do to help? Or at least not make things worse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2011 - 32 answers

So now what do we do?

So we are in an icky situation involving a friend dying of AIDS. Advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2011 - 35 answers

How can I survive my mother's death?

How can I survive my mother's death? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Feb 13, 2011 - 36 answers

How to cope with a fear of death? I

I'm terrified at the thought of dying and don't know what to do. I am not actually dying or sick in any way but sometimes I can't stop worrying about it. How can I stop, or feel better about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2011 - 40 answers

What is it like to be a hospice volunteer?

What is it like to be a hospice volunteer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2010 - 23 answers

Readings for a course on death and philosophy

Philosophical approaches to death and dying. I am prepping a college course; looking for great readings on philosophical questions about death, but also: world religious/cultural traditions about dying/funerals/mourning/afterlife, how people in death-related jobs see their work (undertakers, hospice workers, doctors, chaplains, military/police...), writings of people who have terminal illnesses, psychological research on preparation for dying, etc. [more inside]
posted by LobsterMitten on Dec 14, 2010 - 51 answers

Advice for a struggling grandson

Help me decide what to do about visiting my dying Grandfather. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2010 - 23 answers

Cancer sux

It's my sister vs. leukemia, and leukemia, it seems, may win. Muddled questions from a muddled brain inside. [more inside]
posted by buzzkillington on Aug 24, 2010 - 30 answers

How do I deal with multiple out-of-state family illnesses?

I can't stop feeling guilty about not being able to visit sick family members or help them more. I'm scared of others dying or being sick. [more inside]
posted by KogeLiz on Aug 12, 2010 - 5 answers

My Dad passed away and I don't know what to do.

How best can I support my Mom and brother from so far away, other than calling them frequently? How can I stop thinking about the last days of my Dad's life and get over his physical "absence"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2010 - 9 answers

Estranged Parent Dying of Cancer

I recently found out my father is dying of cancer. We haven't spoken in over a decade. What are your experiences with reconciliation in this kind of situation? [more inside]
posted by Otis on Jun 8, 2010 - 22 answers

She's Not Dead Yet

My aunt has cancer. She has about six months left. How do I stop grieving while she's still alive? Is that possible? Also, if my grief is this bad already, what's it going to be like when she does die? Not so bad? Worse? [more inside]
posted by deborah on Apr 28, 2010 - 22 answers

Dead or alive?

Is this tree gonna die? [more inside]
posted by fixedgear on Mar 28, 2010 - 16 answers

Beautiful friend

How do I tell my family I am dying? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2010 - 62 answers

Permanent color over previous highlights?

Can I dye a permanent color over highlights on my own and not have it be a complete disaster? [more inside]
posted by dayspteh on Jan 29, 2010 - 11 answers

My grandfather is going to pass away soon. What do I say to family members?

My grandfather is going to pass away soon. What do I say to family members? [more inside]
posted by helios410 on Dec 7, 2009 - 9 answers

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