Help me relate to my friends who have mental health issues

dead_ — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 10:43:59 -0800

How do I better relate with people on anxiety and anti-depressant drugs? This is a sensitive topic for many people, including many of my friends. I've tried to do as much empathizing as I can, but I still find myself having trouble associating with some of my closer friends who take anti-depressants and anxiety disorder drugs.

The problem is more or less as follows: many of my friends are on these type of prescription drugs and are very intelligent, fun people who offer many great things to my life (think mostly college poet/writer types). The rub seems to come in that they have a way of inserting their mental health issues into many conversations, and use it as reasoning for nearly all of their actions. They often make comments dealing with their mental health, and generally define themselves with their disorders in a way that seems almost self-obsessive. I find this extremely annoying, because if they never mentioned it, I wouldn't assume they had any kind of "disorder," and life would go on between us as it always has--with plenty of laughter and smiling and fun.

Is it normal for me to feel awkward or annoyed by this type of behavior? Am I way out of line? Should I shut up and be more accommodating and make a better effort at empathy?

I understand that anxiety and depression are serious diseases that people deal with on not only a daily, but an hourly basis (that is to say, all the time), but it hampers my friendship when it's all I hear about. "OK, time to go get some pillz!"

I love and cherish these friends and I want to be available to them, but I think my suspicion of the pharmaceutical industry, coupled with my own drug-less battle with depression a few years ago has left me jaded to the issue and feeling somewhat hostile when presented with otherwise normal people who define themselves by their diseases--and their drugs.

Are there any good books on the subject of living with loved ones who have these types of diseases? What about books that address the pharmaceutical and anti-depressant industry itself? I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking, but I'm trying to sort some things out in my head, so anecdotes or personal accounts may help here.

Also, is it completely out of line to be suspicious of someone's therapist and their relationship to that person?

Apologies if I've made any off-color comments here. I know this is a touchy issue and I simply want to be a better friend to people I care about a lot. Thanks.

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Help me relate to my friends who have mental health issues