Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with dreams

Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?

Anonymous — Mon, 20 May 2013 13:57:32 -0800

Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? YANM Psych etc. So this has now been going on for long enough that I'm asking a Mefi, not necessarily for an explanation, but simply some suggestions and perhaps recommendations of how to pursue this further.

My first serious relationship lasted for 9 years, the last two of which was spent in a different country. After we broke up, there was the usual period of re-adjustment, but we remain close friends and visit one another regularly with our new respective partners.

After the relationship ended, I was single for about 2 years before getting involved with someone else. My current partner and I have now been together for almost five years.

Here's the thing: I continuously have dreams involving my former partner. Sometimes we are just doing stuff together, other times it's a dream where it is slowly becoming apparent to me that she is breaking up with me (which was the case in real life – she was the active agent in bringing the relationship to an end).

Neither of us harbor feelings of getting back together. We understand one another on a very deep level, and that's what has enabled us to stay close friends. But we have fundamentally different views about some things, and that was what ultimately brought the relationship to an end.

I'm – for lack of a better term – a Jungian in terms things like dream analysis and the subconscious. My ex-partner in question is a clinical psychologist, so I have some knowledge of psychology; I've done extensive CBT in coping with an anxiety disorder (not sure how that may factor, or if at all, but thought I'd mention it). I have for a long time been actively involved in processes of self-realisation.

I know that these dreams mean something, perhaps archetypically, though it feels like I'm being hampered in discovering what in some way. The likelihood is that there may be aspects of myself I see in her that I'm unable to resolve for some reason. But it's come to the point where I'm really starting to get frustrated with trying to connect to this part of my subconscious and establishing a point of investigating this further.

I'm not looking for some kind of diagnosis; I'm simply keen on hearing any feedback/recommendations (including for reading material) that you may think I might find useful. I guess I would call myself a spiritual individual (I like to refer to myself as a 'scientific mystic'). Oh, and I'm a gay girl, if that means anything (so yes, all my relationships have been with women, just to clarify).

Help diagnose or correct my weird sleep behavior

wolfnote — Tue, 14 May 2013 12:59:12 -0800

I frequently half-wake from dreams and start doing or saying weird things while I’m in bed. They often relate to my dreams and it's a big disruption to my wife’s sleep as well as my own. What is going on with me and how can I stop it? Plenty of details inside. This has been going on for my entire life, but it’s gotten more frequent in the last few years. I'm 29 and do not have any major health problems. I've never suffered from insomnia and rarely have trouble falling asleep. Usually this happens 1-4 hours after I fall asleep, but it varies. Maybe 20% are scary, the rest are mundane or just weird. I almost always remember it in the morning, but not in much detail. Here are some examples of the stuff I’ve done:

• I look for various things in the bed that are obviously not there (file folders, rapidly melting chocolate candies)
• I flip back the covers or leap up because I think there’s an animal in the bed
• I panic because I think there’s someone outside the window
• I start putting on my clothes
• I mumble half-coherent things to my wife
• I think other people are in the bed

They get weirder:

• I once got up and looked on my dresser for the electric hot dogs that would cure my friend’s blindness
• I warned my wife not to reach under the bed because I thought the bed frame was lined with razor blades
• I thought a smoke detector was a two-way intercom for me to speak with my college music professor
• I was alarmed to find my wife next to me because I thought she was downstairs hanging out with GOB Bluth

We attempted a “password” system where my wife would say a specific word or phrase to remind me that it’s the middle of the night and I’ve just been dreaming, but it didn’t work. Usually I wake up and realize my foolishness after a few minutes, but the damage and sleep disruption are already done.

Do you have any ideas about what sleep disorder this is, or any mind hacks to help me beat it?

Supporting Oneself with Freelance News Photography: Possible??

Sheila Nagig — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:42:45 -0800

It's looking like I'll be jobless this summer. Would it be possible to keep myself alive by taking photos of newsworthy events and selling them to news organizations? I'd like to drive around the country this summer before starting a new job in the fall, and I'm wondering if I'd be able to support myself during the trip by selling photos. Planning around events might be difficult, I know, and so might finding someone willing to pay for coverage of them. I know that the new industry is in peril, and news orgs don't have a lot of money floating around.

But would it be possible? Is it a totally hare-brained idea? And, if it is indeed viable and not just a complete fantasy, how do I begin making contacts in the media who would even be interested?

Short poem about dreams for children

mermily — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:40:55 -0800

Can you help me find a <30 second poem about dreams that is appropriate for first graders? I am a teacher and my school is doing a school-wide "dreams" project where kids are creating a flag that shows their future dreams (it is part of an initiative about equity and race but essentially they are thinking about what they want to be when they grow up.) Every class needs to do a video under thirty seconds of our class doing something to represent the dreams project and I figured the easiest thing to do would be a choral reading of a children's poem about dreams. It needs to 1. be quite short, 2. be understandable to first graders, 3. be about dreams. Can anyone recommend a poem that might be suitable? I thought of the "What happens to a dream/ Does it explode?" one by Langston Hughes but I think it might be a touch too long and a touch over their heads.

To Sleep, Perchance to Not Dream

Oriole Adams — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:18:47 -0800

My husband is frequently cranky/off his feed/out of sorts for hours after awakening either in the AM or after our traditional late afternoon nap (we both work from home, have for the past 10 years) and his response whenever I ask "what's wrong?" is usually "I had bad dreams." When he describes his dream it's not necessarily a nightmare, but for some reason it exhausts him mentally. By way of comparison, I will mention that I also regularly have very vivid dreams, most of which I sort of enjoy as far as I know...but sometimes I have very "aggressive" dreams where I'm arguing vehemently with someone, or trying to dial a phone number with no success while I'm being shot at, etc. But whatever the dream, I'm able to more or less shrug it off after I wake up and then go on with my day.

Mr. Adams, on the other hand, seems to be mentally and physically exhausted when he has a dream that involves a lot of activity, especially if said dream includes a lot of decision-making (from what he's described to me when I press him for details). For example, the past two days the dreams he's recalled that upset him and made him "not sleep" (even though as far as I could tell he was sound asleep - he usually goes to bed ahead of me at night due to our work schedules, and I hear him sawing logs for hours) were one in which he was at the Joe Louis Arena and someone stole his hockey stick and he was trying to find Lost and Found (no, he's never played hockey in his life and he's not even a fan of the sport), and the other was some complicated scenario involving choosing the correct elevator. Basic dream stuff as far as my own experiences, but for some reason when he wakes up it's like he can't shake his dreams off. He's as tired as if he'd actually been traipsing around the Joe trying to find his hockey stick.

He did a sleep study two years ago in search of a solution...he was diagnosed with sleep apnea and given a CPAP machine. But even though he uses the machine regularly every time he goes to bed, he still complains upon waking that his dreams that made him "not sleep" (even though as far as I could tell he was sound asleep) and how his mind won't shut down while he sleeps....that he has to solve problems while awake, and it disturbs him to have to do it in his sleep.

Is there a word or term for this? Anyone know of a medical condition that doesn't shut the brain completely down during REM sleep or something so that a person feels actual mental exhaustion due to having to think and reason in his sleep? The sleep study and our rheumatologist haven't really provided any insight....I'm wondering where to look for assistance or how to even posit the problem.

Additional info, FWIW: Mr. Adams was dx'd with Type II diabetes a few years ago, but his blood sugar has been successfully maintained via diet and Metformin and Januvia (no insulin injections necessary). He also takes NSAIDS for ankylosing spondylitis (a type of arthritis that affects mainly the spine) and fluoxetine (generic Prozac), but he's been on the latter two since the mid-1990s, long before these dream/sleep problems started.

Your dream retirement, given these circumstances?

1066 — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 21:59:59 -0800

If you were single, 53 and healthy and with an adult child roaming the Earth, where would you retire and why? Only limiting factors are 200K US in a retirement account and a pension of 40K US (with a COLA increase of $1600 each year).

Recurring dream

thank you silence — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 03:07:19 -0800

I keep having the same dream over and over. Has anyone else had this? So it's 6am and I am laying in bed after what seems like my millionth dream about my mom, who passed away a little over a year ago. A few months after she died I would have basically the same dream every night for weeks--she was always alive in these dreams, and although I knew she was dead it was almost like she had been given some more time but I knew she'd have to "go back" soon. Sometimes she looked well, but most of the time she was frail like she was at the end. I figured these dreams were my subconscious way of dealing with her loss. I entered grief therapy shortly after and the dreams slowly faded.

Now over a year later they're back, and so frequent I can't even keep track. It feels like one a night for going on weeks now. The setting is usually my childhood home, and sometimes my mom talks to me in these dreams...tonight she said she was feeling better and was trying to regain her strength. A few weeks ago she told me she could see me from heaven.

I guess I don't know what my question really is...I don't mind the dreams but some part of me feels like there's something I need to address that I am missing completely. I also wonder if anyone else has had this experience. Thank you.

Oh yeah, it runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip: Imagination!

dinosaurprincess — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:58:40 -0800

What are some fun daydreams I can think about to fill up long bus journeys? Hey guys! So lately I have had to take hour or two hour long bus rides quite often, and I like audiobooks and podcasts, so feel free to recommend those too, but but what I really love are fun daydreams where I can go on adventures in first person!

I have a few ones that I keep going back to (zombie apocalypses, going into space, cheesy romance ones starring me and my celebrity crushes)... But I seem to always go back to the same categories of daydreams and I would like to explore new places with my imagination! So... What are your favourite daydreams? Help entertain me on boring bus rides! :)

Clean, mesmerizing, inspiring

xicana63 — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:45:47 -0800

Jiro Dreams of Sushi is one of the most beautiful, mesmerizing films I've ever seen, can recommend others like it? I caught this fantastic documentary on Netflix called Jiro Dreams of Sushi (seriously put everything down and go watch it) and I was completely memorized by the story, the art direction (if that's what you call it), the fluidity, everything about this film, especially what I consider the twist at the end. What other films have you watched that could compare? I'd say Banksy's Exit Through the Gift Shop could be included as far as a smart, captivating film but Jiro Dreams of Sushi in essence is simply beautiful.

Also I'm not asking for recommendations of documentaries only! Just recommendations of other films that you believe that not only the story but the essence of the entire film is beautiful.

I'm always dreaming, even when I'm awake; it is never finished.

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 09:52:08 -0800

So, this might not even be a problem; I’m not sure, but I dream too much. I dream a lot. It’s pretty neat in one way, I have a whole mental dream map where all the different dream spaces are connected. I’ve got to draw it out sometime.

But I’m starting to wonder if the fact that I have many memorable dreams every night is a problem worth addressing. The thing that makes it seem “too much” isn’t the simple quantity, but the fact that they often amount to more interesting fodder for reflection than my daily life — they dominate too much of my daytime thoughts. It’s very literally as though I were awake and very busy for a few hours. I would say I think about my dreams, trying to piece them together, or just feeling revisited by them, as much as 20% of the time I’m thinking or reflecting altogether. The impressions are so vivid.

I’m on Prozac, and that seems to be some kind of a factor. But even without it, I dreamed a LOT. Prozac makes them a little more realistic, a little more lively, perhaps. I’m actually stepping that medication down, though, so that effect might be sunsetting soon. I take Lamictal now also, but there’s no info about its effect on dreaming that I’ve seen so far.

Sometimes, I sleep a lot. Maybe this is related to the anxiety/depression/bipolar II, but really it seems to follow my regular monthly hormonal cycle more than anything. I get fatigue in PMS, I take a nap or conk out early. I get a solid 8 hours most of the time, sometimes with a bonus nap or an hour or two of weekend lollygagging.

But again, I reiterate: the lotsa dreaming is only related to sleep time in a 1:1 ratio. It’s always been this way, whether I’m generous with sleep, regimented, or light. As long as I wake up with an adequate number of hours slept, I feel well-rested and I do not feel like I sleep poorly, though I’m somewhat a light sleeper.

Also, my dreams are SUPER normal. Like, barely subconscious at all. Predictable and semi-lucid. I’ve had spates of unpleasant dreams in the past — a phase where I was doing violence to people I love stands out — but for the most part it’s the kind of dream everyone has, just very bright, sometimes funny or action-filled.

I have mentioned it to friends, and one said “just get a dream journal,” and I said I DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH FREE TIME. Honestly, I’d love to have a massively cross-indexed journal, but that seems like a big undertaking! It would be 1000 words a day, minimum.

I’m looking for insights into coping with this. Is it something I should take to my psychiatrist, a therapist, or just be happy about? Is there a self-applied therapy, or a way to tamp them down, a la lucid dreaming techniques? Is there a way to sleep more darkly? Should I just go be a poet already? :P

Bonus points for recognizing the post title.

What do your dreams look like after prazosin?

kanata — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:04:09 -0800

PTSD and nightmares. How does prazosin actually help you? I'm newly labelled as having PTSD and the shrink gave me prazosin to help with the non stop nightmares I've been having lately. I understand that it blocks adrenaline but want to know how exactly it has affected your dreams if you are taking it.

I work out a lot of healing through my dreams (No snarky comments on that please. I've had a 12 year search to find the right type of therapy that allows me to actually talk about the trauma and, yes, it involves Jung and dream work). I don't want to suppress that harshly.

Also I'm worried that it will make the nightmares worse as, of course, that is the only first hand experiences that rise up on a Google search.

So if you've taken this for PTSD did you notice a complete lack of nightmares? All dreams? Do you still have nightmares but the flashback emotions are lessened? Did it help at all? Basically what do your dreams look like after taking prazosin and how long did it take to kick in if you found it helpful?

I'm supposed to work my way up to 4mg at night once I start if that matters any.

Not exactly The Matrix, but what?

vidur — Wed, 02 May 2012 21:43:12 -0800

What is the name (medical/psychological term?) for this feeling that "my life been a dream since that one event several years ago"? One fine morning about 20 years ago, when I was barely 10 years old, I was shaken awake by a cousin with the news that Rajiv Gandhi had been assassinated. It was shocking news, sure, but nothing traumatic for me personally. A little more than one year after that, my father was murdered. The case has remained unsolved. I can't pinpoint exactly when, but at some point after that I started getting this weird feeling that my life has been a dream ever since the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi. It is not something that happens all the time, just once in a while.

I was reminded of this while reading a sidebarred comment from a mefite who has had the same sort of feeling since Katrina.

Is it a common thing? Is there a name for this condition, if it is indeed a condition?

To be clear, I do not actually believe that I am in some Matrix/Inception sort of life. It is just a vague feeling that I get occasionally.

My baby is safe but keeps giving me nightmares.

CrazyLemonade — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:52:56 -0800

Every night I dream my newborn baby is in bed with me and is in danger of being crushed or suffocated in the blankets. How do I stop these awful dreams? I have a 6 week old baby. From the first night home from the hospital I've been dreaming about having my baby in my bed, and I can't find him among the blankets and pillows and I wake up freaked out and sweating, or freaked out and poking some random body part of my husband next to me that I "thought" was the baby. One time I even dreamed I found the baby in my bed and thought about putting him back in his crib but I wondered about how to do it without waking the baby already in the crib (yep, there were two of my baby in the dream).

I never bring baby into bed with me at night (he sleeps a step away from my bed on a portable crib), so when fully conscious I know that my dream is just a nightmare and not really a possibility, but I hate that this has been haunting me EVERY NIGHT for the last 6 weeks.

How do I get rid of these dreams so I can have a good night's sleep?

Getting sober and getting on with it

Anonymous — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 08:58:10 -0800

Getting sober and/or working towards your dreams: before, after or simultaneously? This is a question about achieving and prioritizing goals and dreams – when one of them is to get sober. (Yes I am in therapy but would appreciate a non-therapeutic perspective too. Not sure if this should go in Human Relations, Travel or Health category by the way!)

I have recently ended an unhappy 5 year live-in relationship. As I have been preparing, procrastinating and working up the courage to do so for a long time, I am not grief-stricken but rather feel a sense of freedom, hope and possibility. I have also changed jobs twice in the past six months and moved house 3 times since September. So there has been a lot of change in my life in the past 6 months - making me realise, strangely enough, that I crave even more change.

What I REALLY want to do more than anything in the next few years is to see more of the world, to travel in a meaningful and engaged way (as opposed to just partying from hostel to hostel, which I have done previously), and to make a new life in a different city from the one in which I grew up. Everything is so familiar, easy and comfortable here, and I am in a bit of a rut.

What complicates my hopes of moving on is – I think – my drinking. As a 28yo female, I have been a heavy drinker for 10 years or so and have made many attempts to get sober, some of which last for months in which everything improves, only to start the cycle again. I am still quite functional but feel as though it's really holding me back.

For example I have identified several great overseas volunteer jobs or internships that I would love to apply for, but am procrastinating massively – I get scared that I won’t be strong enough to cope right now; or able to trust myself in a foreign country, getting into trouble without the support network that helps me avoid the consequences of my drinking here in my home town. I moved to a big city for 18 months previously when I was 22, which I loved and was so exciting, but was also one of the worst times for drinking, drug use and dangerous behavior. I would like to think I have learned from these mistakes but I also know that when I’m drunk, my judgment flies out the window.

Not to mention I am blowing loads of cash on drinking and despite the fact I am lucky enough to have very minimal living expenses right now, have not saved anything and have even gotten into a small amount of debt.

So I am wondering whether I should try and postpone my dreams of moving and travelling until I have managed to stay sober for 6 months at least. But what if I fail to do that? Maybe it will actually help me to get sober to be in a new place with new challenges? This is exactly the sort of procrastination and self-bargaining that tempts me to drink even more out of boredom and frustration – the lack of adventure, the feeling that I’m not really going anywhere, and that life and the world is out there waiting for me to experience it and I just keep postponing cause I'm always drunk or hungover. I wonder if I’m just using the drinking as a sort of excuse not to put the effort into saving up, making plans, and launching myself into the unknown.

I have spent some time in AA , but more than anything want to believe in my own sense of agency and my ability to improve my life, that I can get better and am not destined to a life of meetings and obsessing about drinking (please do not take offence, this is just my personal opinion). I can’t help feeling that getting sober means somehow putting my life on hold. But maybe it’s not really going anywhere at the moment anyway.

Please, MeFites, can you give me a reality check and help to organize all these competing things in my head?
1) What should I focus on first, and for how long?
2) How can I work towards my dreams of adventure & exploring new horizons, without getting obsessed and disheartened by the day-to-day effort to stay sober?

I am so confused and just want some clarity about my goals and direction in life. I would be grateful to hear your experiences with similar situations.

dreaming away

divabat — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:02:27 -0800

is it possible to stay locked in or stuck in a dream & never wake up? I often have very vivid (& sometimes lucid) dreams and have wondered if it was possible to have that dream be my new reality. there is an episode of.Buffy that hints at this, but that's all the references I have.

could this happen? has it happened? would everything go dark or even more surreal because your brain eventually runs out of material?

I need to find the perfect job for me...

sawyerrrr — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:42:40 -0800

I'm a creative/analytical individual who thrives in an environment where I can tweak and testdrive many variables/things/ideas/etc in a creative way and put them to use for profit/critique/judgement/etc. I have all the time in the world to figure this out, but I want to get it right and I want to find a career I will love the rest of my life. I'm intensely invent/analytical, but analysis itself does not satisfy me.
I'm highly creative, creating things satisfies me, but I'm not the kind that could be a great painter or writer or musician, I don't think...
I'm an amazing writer, I could probably be a very successful novelist if I could think of plots, and was better at developing larger number of characters. (I'm not just saying I'm a good writer like lots of the trash writers out there, I actually am, promise).
I am very visually oriented.
I am extremely smart.
I have a very keen aesthetic eye.
I am competitive.
I like traveling.
I like trying new things.
I like thinking of new ways things could be done.
I like being around people, but appreciate the occasional alone time.
I like reading, but I never read for some reason.
I like the outdoors.
I like being in foreign places.
I like teaching others.
I like the idea of compensation based on merit.
I'm probably too good at arguing....
I thrive in a setting where I can experiment with many variables in a creative way, test drive them, and put them to use.

Areas that interest me right now writing novels, equities/futures trading, film editing, architecture, semipro poker, teaching English overseas, consulting, editor/publisher, and i guess that last thing I would choose to be is a touring musician, but I hate the band I'm in.

Also, if it matters, I like all people have the secret desire to be a pirate or spy. HAHAHA

I just turned 23, I have a degree in Economics from a top 40 school. Grad school isn't out of the question, but being a lawyer does not interest me.

Why do I wake up with headaches in the morning?

GlassHeart — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:22:14 -0800

Why do I wake up with headaches in the morning? From the time I was little, I've been getting headaches that are there upon waking and they progressively worsen if I don't take pills to treat them. It's very rare for me to get headaches in the middle of the day; 95% of the time they're there upon waking.

I've noticed that I tend to wake up with headaches after having long, vivid dreams. Could vivid dreams be the cause of these headaches (I know it sounds absurd, but you never know)? Also, my room gets quite stuffy at night. Could my room being stuffy be the cause of these headaches?

If I knew the cause of these headaches perhaps I could prevent myself from getting them as often as I do. Luckily, they're easy to get rid of -- two or three Tylenol usually do the trick -- but I wish I didn't get them as often as I do as I hate having to blow so much money on headache pills. I also don't like the negative effects long-term overuse of headache pills can have on a body.

Thanks. I await your responses.

It's great and all that I'm getting some in my sleep, but why and why so much?

Anonymous — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 13:18:52 -0800

Why have I been dreaming the same dream for years? (mildly NSFW) Since I was a teenager I've loved taking long 3 hour marathon naps. Until about 6-7 years ago the sleep was very still, black, deep and dreamless - are least as far as I remember.

Then I started to dream - or started to remember the dreams. The content is always the same; overtly erotic to the point of orgasm - every time. Sometimes the dreams involve someone else and that someone else changes, sometimes it is just myself playing with myself, but the overall tone is predictably sexual.

Why, year after year, am I having more or less the same dream? Why this same dream, without fail, only when I nap and not when I sleep at night and why can't I take a nap without having this dream?

*There seems to be zero correlation to the frequency and intensity of these dreams to the amount of sex I am or am not having in my waking life. Also: me, girl, 30s.

The dreaming mind

Nathanial Hörnblowér — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:26:42 -0800

How does my brain know that I'm awake? At least once or twice a week, I'll have a dream early in the morning where my husband comes back into the bedroom after leaving for work. The dream is extremely realistic - the bedroom looks exactly the same, my husband looks the same, we are both speaking normally - and when I reach over and touch his shoulder I can physically feel him there. I am 100% convinced in the dream that I am awake and he is there. Just this morning part of our conversation in the dream was me asking him several times if he was really there, as I have this dream where he's there and then I wake up and he's not. He assured me that he was there and I wasn't dreaming. Of course I wake up and realize it was a dream and he's not there. On several occasions I've "woken up" two or three times, only to realize that I'm still dreaming. So when I do wake up, what is it in my brain that tells me I'm really awake this time?

How are British people taught to expect failure and disappointment?

steinsaltz — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:47:32 -0800

Is it true, what Ricky Gervais says, about how in contrast to Americans and their high hopes, British people are taught to expect disappointment? British people: What life advice along these lines are British people given, that might differ from such U.S. ideas as Back to the Future's "you can do anything if you put your mind to it?"

How to shake off vivid dreams in the morning...

apolune — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:22:51 -0800

Very vivid and intricate dreams - do you have tips on how to shake off lingering feelings in the morning? I have very vivid, very long and very intricate dreams which I remember far too well. My dreams usually linger a long time, often sticking with me for the entire day. (Also, as I get more tired towards the following evening, the general feeling and details of my dreams tend to "come back".)

Mostly, those dreams are not outright nightmares and I frequently feel like I'm just shifting between being awake "in two different worlds", never really resting. (I recently had a rare morning of not remembering my dreams very well and what an epiphany it was to feel so rested, free and energetic!)

My dreams have been like this as long as I can remember and so far no amount of therapy/alcohol/benzodiazepines/antidepressants/antipsychotics, no change of sleep conditions, exercise, diet or overall mind-set have reliably made a difference.

At the moment I'm pretty much resigned to living with this vivid "otherworld". (And I would certainly also miss it if I found a way to "switch it off".) However, I would like to find a better way to shake off dream-related feelings and memories during the day.

This is more or less my regular morning routine:
(1) wake up slowly (using a dawn simulator alarm clock)
(2) have a cup of tea and/or take a shower while I
(3) go through my to-do list/schedule/expectations for the day in my mind
(4) leave the house and have breakfast on the way to work/uni

As I'm sure many other people have similar experiences on a fairly regular basis I'm wondering if any of you have any tips. Anything that has worked particularly well for you?

PS: Due to a leg injury exercise is pretty much out of the question right now.

The Power of Dreams

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:16:38 -0800

Is dream analysis as a form of therapy common these days? I've been looking for a new therapist. (I love my old one, but I'm moving.) I found one guy who seems pretty great... except I'm a little worried about his claim that he does a lot of dream analysis. I don't know much about psychology, but I had been under the impression that dream analysis was a bit outdated -- something Freud relied on heavily but modern psychotherapists had moved away from. I thought the general consensus was, "Yeah, dreams are weird. Brains sure do random shit, huh?" Furthermore, that's how I understand dreams: sure, the content of dreams is generally pulled from one's experiences and thoughts, but there isn't any deep symbolism to discern from them.

Am I wrong about this? Is dream analysis still a well-respected form of psychotherapy? Or should I see this as a warning sign that I should find a different therapist?

Have you ever heard of a person getting mad at someone for something they did in a dream?

starpoint — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 17:17:44 -0800

My mom woke up from a nap today and got very angry at me, for no reason at all. I asked her what was wrong and she told me about a nightmare and how I wouldn't run away from these tigers or whatever, after she kept calling me. I just laughed my head off, but she was seriously angry with me. She told me stop laughing and then, to my surprise, she was somewhat snippy with me for the rest of the day. I just kept my distance and told her it was all right, it was just a nightmare. I assumed she'd get over it. She's a grown woman and should know that nightmares aren't real!

Then just a while ago, she came up to me and said, "remember, if you are in the path of a tiger, don't just STAND there. I don't know WHY you wouldn't come." And she slapped me on the shoulder, twice, pretty hard. She said she was still angry with me for what I did in HER dream. Again, I just laughed, but still. I was a little bothered because she's had HOURS to get over it and I've NEVER heard of someone blaming someone else for what they did in a dream. I did tell her that maybe she should try analyzing the dream, see what it means to her. I reminded her that SHE told me once that all the characters in a dream are parts of yourself, manifested as other people. She just looked like she wanted to lecture me and use HER dream...a product of HER mind...for to criticize me and my character.

Is that insane or what? I had to post it here because I've never heard of such a thing. Sounds almost like abuse to me. Talk about blaming someone for something they never did in the first place. I did absolutely NOTHING wrong, yet I get slapped, fussed at and criticized and blamed. It's not my fault my mom had a nightmare. It's not my fault that the version of me created by HER brain didn't act the way she wanted it to. Yet, I understand being a little mad when she first wakes up because it was fresh in her mind and she needed time to get over it. But if several hours pass by and she's STILL angry and she HITS me...that's ridiculous.

I've had dreams where people have done crazy things, yet I've never gotten mad at them in real life, because I know where a dream ends and reality begins!

So have any of you ever run into anything like this before? Because I've never heard of such a damn thing in my life.

How do you know if your setting yourself up for dissapointment?

Jofecopa — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:20:37 -0800

I'm pursuing my dream but have so much pressure that it's not even fun anymore. Is this normal, or am I being unrealistic and setting myself up for disappointment? It's something I really want but when I'm there I get so anxious and stressed I don't even enjoy it. It's a very complicated and competitive field (auto racing) so I have a lot of fear/pressure about being able to and HAVING to perform. It just takes all the fun out of it. I get burnt out easily and start to hate the one thing I most enjoy. I read in a book about anxiety that if your only thinking about the outcome than you are being unrealistic and just setting yourself up for disappointment. Am I tense because i'm aiming so high?
I wish I could just have fun with it, but i'm often just too tense to do so. Or maybe i'm scared of failure/success or whatever else.
I was thought to believe and chase your dreams, but sometimes I wonder if i'm just being delusional and/or setting up goals that are impossible to reach. My general idea is to keep going at it, because despite all the stress, I got to know myself a lot better being under such intense frustration. So some good has come of it, but I would like to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and found a solution.

Not sure if i'm posting in the right section but thanks in advance!

Movie-like memories

victory_laser — Fri, 27 May 2011 18:22:04 -0800

Some of my best memories, when I think back on them, become more cinematic than linear, more musical than factual. They are a flowing montage of events, energy, motion. Often the memory is of an adventure or journey. Why does this happen? Who has written or made art about the capacity for our memories to be transformed in this way? I lay back in bed at night, when I am at my happiest, and dream my memories in this way. I am looking for help in understanding this part of me.