Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with dream

Please get out of my dreams!

MayNicholas — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:20:04 -0800

Help me stop dreaming about my Ex! I was in a relationship for 11 years. I left him just over 2 years ago because he still was not ready for marriage. We were better friends than lovers, but we were best friends for sure. Looking back, the things we wanted out of life were too different to have ever had a successful marriage, so I am grateful now that we didn't get that far. We still talk on occasion, but not as often since I met my current beau.

Three months ago I met a wonderful man whom I love very much. He is really everything I hoped I would be lucky enough to find in a partner. He feels as strongly for me as I do for him. We are making plans for our future and I know this will include marriage and children eventually.

Suddenly, in the last 2 weeks I have had dreams about this ex I was with for 11 years. Several dreams. This happened at the same point- the three month mark- in the last relationship I was in too (I wasn't in love with that guy though- so I welcomed the dreams because they were better than the relationship I was in at the time).

Now I wake up in the middle of the night after these dreams and I am like WTF! Go away! The dreams are of the OMG! I am so happy to see you! It has been so long! He is always happy to see me too. We consider getting back together, sometimes we kiss or just hang out. They are pleasant dreams at the time and give me a soothing feeling- until I wake up. Once out of my fog, I feel so thankful to have woken up and see the man I love sleeping next to me. I am so much happier to see him next to me than I was to see my ex in my dream.

Why am I having these dreams and is there anything I can do to stop them?

Never had a nightmare

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:29 -0800

I've never had a nightmare. Why? Is this normal? I can't fully account for when I was a small child, but in recent memory I cannot remember ever having had a nightmare, or even a truly disturbing dream. I've had exceptionally vivid dreams as well as the usual anxiety dreams of being naked or falling on rare occassions, but never anything close to nightmarish. Amongst my friends and family I can't find anyone else who has never had a nightmare. It feels weird.

Googling "never had a nightmare" shows I am not alone, I just wonder if there might be a cause, or an article or some sort of insight into this. I've had a normal-to-difficult life including problems with depression and anxiety and a fair share of waking problems, I can't think why I might be immune to having nightmares. Is there a cause, or am I just lucky? Any tips for inducing a nightmare? I guess I am coming from a view of nightmares being an accepted part of everyone's life, perhaps they aren't?

FWIW I'm not on any medications or diet, I drink moderately, no drugs, exercise daily, eat healthily. Slept in all sorts of environments home and abroad and no other sleep issues. Mid 30's.

Dreamlike Animation from the Eighties

lilyflower — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:39:23 -0800

Half remembered international animated short story from the 80's - does anyone recognise this story? I have a faint memory of a cartoon in my head from when I was a child in the eighties, I believe it was an international animation as there was no language, it wasn't feature length and was very simple animation.

The basic outline of the story as I remember it was a man living in a house in suburbia with all the mod cons (at least that the 80's had to offer!). He was out driving in his car but when he went to fill up at the gas/petrol station there was a huge queue. He goes home and it seems that the lights aren't working and the heating is off too. Food becomes scarce and one day while driving his car runs out of fuel. He leashes an ox to the car and uses it as a cart to be pulled home on.

He soon runs out of food so has to go out hunting, he has no heating and the winter starts to come in so he chops up all his furniture to make a fire in the house. I think spring comes around and the trees have grown through his house and he ventures outside. A mammoth starts chasing him and he can't get away, he is then caught under the hoof of the mammoth and when you think he is about to be crushed he awakens in his bed! He jumps out and runs to the lights and flicks them on and off, he turns on the thermostat and runs hot water through the taps. He is so excited and relieved...

And that is what I can remember, sounds a bit like a dream but I am sure I saw this on TV and watched it over and over on video.

Anyone remember it? Any suggestions would be most welcome!

help me become a better shoegaze guitar player.

austere — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:07:13 -0800

i'd like to learn more about chords/tunings/techniques conducive to a really ethereal shoegaze/dreampop guitar sound. i tend to use the reason software and a couple of synths that i have as my primary songwriting tools, but as i've been half-assing my guitar playing for a number of years, i've recently decided that it is the most enjoyable means of writing songs for me. the problem is, i'm terrible at the actual songwriting part of playing guitar. ideally i'd like to be able to come up with chord progressions with my guitar, and accentuate those progressions with synths and drum machines and whatnot.

i know all about the benefit of pedals for this sort of sound and that reverb and delay are staples, but i'd like to know more about particular chords/theory/techniques that will make me a better guitar player with this sort of music. the main thing is that i love melody and i very seldom use dissonance in my music. i don't know many chords as it is, and while i'm usually able to come up with some okay chords on my own and even decent progressions on occasion, i still feel very limited. for some reason i find that i almost never play chords past the 7th fret or so for example, and it seems like the chord shapes i do play or come up with are always rooted on the E, A, and D strings. i feel like i just recycle the same 10 chords again and again in different orders and as such everything i try to write on guitar sounds somewhat similar.

so i guess i'm just looking for advice from musicians of this style and bits of information of any variety that will help me expand my playing abilities specifically within the niche of really beautiful shoegaze sounds. do you have any favorite chords in particular? are there certain chord shapes that tend to result in a more melodic sounding chord? particular tunings?

thanks!

Adolescent dives headfirst into immigration laws with poor swimming instruction and shoddy navigational skills

mmmleaf — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:08:13 -0800

Help a bewildered high schooler understand immigration legislation, the current political climate and key issues surrounding the debate. Hi. I don't know if there is a previous question on this. I am a shoddy searcher.

I'm interested in reading federal and California immigration laws, the actual legislation text, and things to help me understand it. Doing extensive research as part of a project to advocate the DREAM act. My public library's reference section is not portable, although I don't even know where to start, and it'd take an awful lot of quarters to make that many photocopies...so I turn to the internet.

Immigration law is complicated. I want to understand it as much as possible. I'm not really taking my Government and History class until next year (high school level) but I am rather determined to know as much as my fresh, supple young brain can absorb about immigration, so I can most accurately defend the thing.

What are some key acts and laws to look into to understand the current immigration scene? Any intriguing articles to recommend? Any arguments involving the DREAM act that you feel are poorly addressed? Anything would help. Reference numbers. Books.

PS. This is not homework, so you don't have to worry about me attempting to swindle you all into doing my assignments.

PPS. I am sort of familiar with the DREAM act itself, and the Immigration/Nationality act, but I would also like to know your concerns if you're iffy about the DREAM act, or wholeheartedly against it. Sorry this is such a mixed bag question. Are you going to delete it admin? It's pretty rambly.

PPPS. If you are a teacher, teaching resources would help too, as after I learn everything this summer I plan on spreading the seed of legislative knowledge.

Thanks.

Lollipop Fields and Robot Makeovers?

thebellafonte — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:10:31 -0800

Can anyone identify these cartoons? One about two poor kids who dream of a world made of food, then wake up to a feast in their kitchen. Another about a young couple at a future world/technology expo where they see instant houses, get groomed by robots, and ballroom dance? I had a VHS tape as a kid with a few cartoons on it.
Here's what I remember from the first cartoon:
Brother and sister living in poverty. They stand outside of a baker's (?) window and lick their lips, which the baker sees. Baker goes over and starts whispering to town butcher (?). Mother feeds them cake for dinner, and it's hard so the kids dip it in milk. They ask for more food, but there isn't any. Mom starts crying on table. She tucks them in, their blankets look like swiss cheese. They have this mutual dream in which everything is for eating- lollipop flower fields, possibly some carnival rides made out of cheese wheels and things. They wake up and realize it was only a dream. Then they go to the kitchen and there's a huge table full of delicious things to eat. The baker and the butcher are there. The boy stabs himself with a fork to make sure he isn't still dreaming.
Second cartoon:
Follows a young man and woman as they make their way through some sort of future world expo. There is a bullet train that takes the people to the expo, which is in a tall, rounded skyscraper. Inside, houses are being built very quickly by machines, and a stork flies by and drops a baby in one of the chimneys. The man sits in a robot chair that grooms him- shave, haircut, etc. And the woman steps into some sort of mold that gives her an hourglass shape and a cute dress. I think there's also some robot thing that puts lipstick on her and curls her hair. They go dancing in a ballroom. Oh and I just remembered that they each dance with a robot partner before dancing with eachother. Then they go up to a machine, press a button, and a block falls out. The block unfolds itself and is a totally awesome car. They get in and drive away.

I think about these cartoons more in my adult life than I'm willing to admit.
I'm 23, but I think they're from the 40s. Maybe 50s.

Any help as to identifying them or an idea of where to get a copy would blow me away.

SWM seeks dream.

allkindsoftime — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 11:16:55 -0800

What is it like to dream? You: Average, normal sleeper / dreamer. Have dreams occasionally, frequently, or even every time you sleep. Can remember what the experience of dreaming is like and relate it in a simple yet effective manner that will help me understand the experience. No drugs / other substances used to help the experience. Not practicing any of that strange "lucid" stuff. Just straight up, run of the mill dreams.

Me: Might have had dreams as a kid, but really can't remember. Had exactly 2 dreams that I can recall in my 20's. People tell me I dream more than that (and just don't remember it), but its still an experience that I simply can't conjure in my mind. As an aspiring writer, I wonder a lot what it is like and whether it might help my writing (I burn envious when I hear about those people who keep a pencil and pad by the bed). Interested in stories about your dreams, great or terrible, and what they most feel like when compared with a real-life experience that I could comprehend.

I just want to know what the experience is like. Is it like watching TV? Is it more real than that? Is it always about plausible stuff or do you frequently find that you are a dragon-fighting robot made of cheese? Do you just see things or do you actually hear / smell / feel them too? Do you remember them clearly or do they fade fast? Do you generally dream about the same stuff, or about anything at all?

I realize everyone is different and the question may be a little vague, but I'm just wondering what a "normal" experience of dreaming is actually like. I've read through all the dream questions I can find and almost all of them assume some ability too...assume I don't have that. TIA.

What was this 70s sci-fi thing?

el_lupino — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:47:30 -0800

Does anyone remember this not-at-all-easily-googled 70s sci-fi film? I saw a fragment of this as a kid 30 years ago and have never been able to figure out what it was. (Such "lost" things were the subject of holiday conversation, for whatever reason.) I saw this maybe-film, maybe-TV-movie on PBS. There's a young-ish guy (20s-30s iirc) who has discovered a strange ability to determine the nature of the world around him via dreaming. If he goes to sleep and dreams of something, when he wakes up it will be as he dreamed it, and - here's what seems distinctive - it will always have been so. So if he dreams that, say, the capital of Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh, when he wakes up, the capital of PA is Pittsburgh, and it always was. The governor, bureaucrats and buildings don't get up and move over night, he just awakes in a world that has and always had those features and only he realizes that he has made it so.

A scientist starts to do research with him and with the help of some technology, they are better able to guide his dreaming. The scientist suggests that he dream that they have an institute and a huge research budget at a major university. (I did not realize the genius of this as a child, but as an academic, I do.) But he's living in an overcrowded city with endless traffic and hassle, and in a fit of anger, he dreams of a world thinned out by disease. He wakes up and is one of only a handful left.

I don't know how it ends and came in after it began, so no clues there. It was certainly less driven by fantasy and special effects than most sci-fi since Star Wars and it was presented as a very earthbound, present-day sort of piece. Anyone in the hivemind have any ideas?

How do I figure out what the hell I want?/Let's start 2009 off right!

Anonymous — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:26:30 -0800

I have no job and in this economy, I figure its worth investing in my dreams so that I’ll be all set when the economy bounces back. The problem is…I don’t know what I want! After years of mulling over the “what should I do with my life?” question/having a quarter life crisis, I have decided that perhaps I should attack this problem indirectly. I just think the whole question is far too massive to really conceptualize and the ensuing inability to answer it and find a perfect solution is making me quite depressed, honestly.

I’m tired and frustrated with trying to find an answer and my remaining options are: consult a psychic, work on my spirituality or lack thereof, or try to sell off my possessions and travel around the world

So when attacking these questions head on doesn’t work (and by head on I mean doing career inventory exercises, finding out everything I can/doing various professions I’ve considered, taking personality tests (I’m an INFP), charting my astrology (Virgo sun, Pisces moon!)), how have you, Mefites, found answers?. Any anecdotes/time-tested techniques would be much appreciated!

I'm 25, in Boston, and about to finish a master's degree in a field I don't really think I'll pursue. Anonymous for various, irritating reasons

Moon Palace by Paul Auster! help!

freddymetz — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 04:02:04 -0800

Moon Palace by Paul Auster! help! I need to find out how the characters are entwined and about the pyschological development of the main characters.
I need some hints or resources where to start, im not trying to get metafilter to do my homework for me!

My soul was filled with crystal light.

bradly — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:22:19 -0800

Where can I disappear in the world? I'm stuck between majors in college, and want to take a 6 month to 2 year break from school. An American citizen living in the U.S.

I am okay with living communally, doing volunteer work, working hard, etc.

When filled with the world, I fantasize about living somewhere without worldly care; where life is straightforward, but I understand that the reality of this may be harsh.

FWIW, I am 18, Eagle Scout, semi-fluent in Spanish, have some money saved in the bank and in bonds, and have an associates' of science degree. I am on scholarship now (with deferrment available).

Was for many years actively LDS, and sometimes consider going on an LDS mission, but I'm hesitant to take this route.

Current major is international business, but I am looking at international studies, sociology, anthropology, music degree?

I am torn, and would rather spend time with people at this point than stumble around the major pool and spend money living until I find something to settle upon.

So I come to the hive in search of the answer :)

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK ME ABOUT MY IDEAL DREAM JOB?

shipbreaker — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:26:06 -0800

I've been going to a lot of job interviews, and the Human Resources people always like to throw in "What is your ideal dream job?" In the past I have slipped up on this trick question, by ACTUALLY ANSWERING IT and telling them what my ideal dream job is. Now I'm older and wiser, and I think I'm beginning to catch on. They want some kind of a neutral, politically-savvy, bland response. Right? I am supposed to say something not too pie-in-the-sky, ideal or dreamy, yet something demonstrating that I do have ambitions and aspirations? Actually, I am quite confused. Why the hell DO so many HR types like to ask this question?!?

I know there are several "job interviewing" and "self-help" books out there, and one or two of them must have a thorough and deep explanation of the "ideal dream job" trick question phenomenon --- can anyone recommend a book with such a chapter?

Do G1 Android Dream of a Electic Sheep?

jrishel — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:51:44 -0800

Should I get the T-mobile G1 with Google Android? Is there some cooler second generation Android phone coming out in the next 3-4 months that I should be holding out for? I'm currently on T-mobile with their lowest family plan and I've got the cheap upgrade with a 2-year contract. I work on the edge of t-mobiles growing 3G network, but live well outside the 3G coverage. My current phone is the MDA (HTC Wizard). I like the slide out keyboard, but the phone is a bit bulky, and the Windows Mobile 5 OS is still pretty painful, but I do make good use of the reason I switched from palm: multitasking. I like having 2-3 apps running at once, and when it works on WM5, it works well, but regularly this house of cards falls down around my head, often when I try to use the phone portion. A call will come in, but some busy app will hang the interface and I can't get to answer the call, sometimes requiring a soft reset to get the interface back to check my voicemail.

I currently use a 3.5 mm to 2.5 mm adapter to listen to music on my phone, so having to use a USBext to 3.5 mm adapter doesn't seem like such a pain, and perhaps an improvement as I seem to go through a lot of headphone jacks as it is. I wore out the jack on my old palm, and I've started to lose the left channel on my current MDA phone.

Android will have to be better, right?

I'm also a huge linux dork, so the thought of an open OS on the phone really intrigues me. I'd consider an unlocked, jailbroken iPhone, but the lack of a keyboard, and being constantly at war with my OS provider over jailbreaking the phone versus having the new cool software updates seems like a worse headache than sticking with my pretty sucky windows mobile experience.

If you recommend the G1, I do have one other piggyback question: I currently use Google Apps For Your Domain, can I use that account with the Android's login, or will I be forced to resurrect my old @gmail.com login?

I just hope this isn't a memory from real life...

naju — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:35:52 -0800

I have a vague memory of a dialogue between two people about bulimia. Is it from a movie, a tv show, or a strange dream? This is a short memory I have that's been kind of haunting me for the past few days. It must've seen it recently. Two people are sitting and talking really casually, at a party, almost like they're bored. They're both talking about having to vomit to stay thin, maybe comparing strategies, almost like it's a given that this is the only established way of becoming thin. But it seems like the dialogue is NOT played for drama, or for laughs. It's just really tossed off, and lasts only a few seconds, before the movie (or dream?) shifts to something else completely. I can't remember whether the people talking are male or female.

The only movie I've seen recently that I can think of it being would be Pineapple Express but this seems very wrong for a stoner comedy. Now that I think of it, I also saw part of the movie Thirteen on Lifetime a couple weeks ago. Could that be it? Any other ideas?

Help me stop daydreaming.

acidic — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:53:49 -0800

I'm constantly daydreaming about the same two scenarios. How can I stop daydreaming, or change what I dream about? As long as I can remember, I've been a daydreamer. Probably 90% of my daydreaming time involves just 2 or 3 scenarios (they change every few months but the themes are the same). Sometimes the scenarios are all I can think about.

The first one is basically a romantic scenario, which I know is fairly normal. It is a relatively unlikely scenario, though, and one that I don't think my conscious mind would actually like. The second one is much more disturbing. It starts with a telephone call telling me that my parents are dead in a car crash and goes from there. Basically I spend hours and hours thinking about the aftermath of my parents' death.

My parents abused me when I was younger, so it's not unreasonable (I think) that part of me wishes them dead. But I still have a shaky relationship with them that will not be disappearing any time soon. Besides, it's just creepy and depressing to think about their funeral all the time.

Anyways, I'd like to stop thinking about this stuff so much. For one, it's really boring replaying the same intricate scenario over and over in my head, adding a detail here or there each time. It distracts me from my life. I care more about getting rid of the morbid death dream than the unrealistic romantic dream, but it would be nice to daydream less (or with more variety), period.

Obviously I've got issues (depression, ptsd, anxiety..), and I've been on and off meds/therapy for a while, and will start again in the fall when it's available. But I would specifically like suggestions about what I can do myself to lessen the daydreaming or direct it in a more positive manner. Thank you!

Why do I always dream about stairwells and elevators?

coizero — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:06:41 -0800

Whenever I dream, stairwells, elevators, and large buildings with multiple levels always figure prominently. There'd be nothing strange about this except a) my daily life does not involve stairwells, large buildings, or elevators in any way, and b) they're in absolutely every dream I have -- no exceptions. This has been going on for at least a year, possibly longer. What could be possibly be causing this?

How do I stop excessive dreams?

kristymcj — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:48:25 -0800

I have excessive dream recall (I dream too much.) I frequently confuse the details of my realistic dreams for reality meaning I reference things in conversation that never happened. If I'm anxious the dreams are nightmares but not night terrors. Anyone mastered this problem? If so, how? I take 10mg Lexapro for generalized anxiety disorder.
I had a prescription for Adivan which I took at night and knocked me out cold. I didn't dream and I woke refreshed. My doctor won't prescribe it because she thinks it will stop working.

I'm dead-dog tired -- in my dreams.

Avenger — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:25:12 -0800

Sometimes I get utterly, mind-numbingly sleepy and exhausted ... in my dreams. Whats going on? I've asked around and so far I seem to be the only person who experiences exhaustion in his dreams. It goes something like this: About once or twice a week I'll be having a normal dream (.i.e, I'm a naked astronaut piloting a chicken to Mars with Abraham Lincoln as my co-pilot, etc.) but suddenly, maybe 2/3 of the way through the dream, I'll be overcome with total exhaustion within the dream itself. At that point, I'll usually stop what I'm doing and try to find some place to "sleep" (ironically enough) within my dream. I just wont have enough energy for the dream to continue. I can't stress enough that when I feel this way, the urge to "sleep" within my dreams is absolutely overpowering. I also wake up tired and exhausted when I have these little episodes.

I'm not sure if I should be concerned about this, but it seems a little disturbing to me that I should get exhausted at, ostensibly, the very moment that my body and mind are supposed to be recharging. It's also a little psychologically disturbing when my dreams get interrupted by this "Meta-Narcolepsy" (a phrase I coined) -- it makes me feel as if my brain isn't working quite right -- especially since this happens fairly often.

Does anyone else have any suggestions on what this might be, insight on how to avoid it, advice on sleeping better, etc?

Stories that take place in Hell, Purgatory, comas, nightmares, memory etc etc

unSane — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:52:20 -0800

I'm looking for narratives (books, movies, games) in which the protagonist is dead, dying or unconscious, and discovers they are not in the 'real' world at all, but Hell, heaven, purgatory, a coma, a nightmare, memory, or similar. Examples which contain spoilers below the fold. Obvious examples would be The Third Policeman, Stay, The Coma, the game Viridian Room, and so on. Alice in Wonderland sort-of counts but I'm more interested in protagonists who investigate their situation, rather than vanilla '...and then I woke up'. Bonus points if the narrative involves escaping.

For the purposes of the question, stories like Eternal Sunshine, a Nightmare on Elm Street and so on don't count because the protagonist is not completely immersed in the meta-world. I'd let If on a Winter's Night a Traveler slide in though.

chasing imaginary bunnies

judith — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:17:48 -0800

Why does my dog giggle in his sleep? When my 2.5 yr old JRT, Lyle, sleeps, he occasionally makes a sound that is somewhere between a giggle and a whine. He's never made this sound while awake, and it's mostly during a light sleep/nap rather than deep nighttime sleep. I find it somewhat adorable, so I'm hoping it's a sign of delight rather than torment for him. Google doesn't reveal much on the subject of dog dream capacity. Any thoughts? Research? Anecdotal evidence?

Discussions about dreams and creativity

moonmilk — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 15:42:47 -0800

Inspired by this question: are there good message boards or discussion groups out there on the web for talking about dreams and creativity? I'm not interested in dream interpretation, nor in lucid dreaming per se except as it might apply to using dreaming as a resource for waking creative projects. I seem to be a lot more talented in any number of areas when I'm asleep than while I'm awake- or maybe I'm just dreaming that I am. I'd love to talk about this with like-minded sleepers if there's a place for it. I'd also appreciate links to non-interactive or semi-interactive sites like blogs on this topic.

How can my dreams of being a baseball player come back?

stedman15 — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:29:24 -0800

I need help finding goals and dreams for my life I don't have any goals or dreams for my life. I used to when I was a child, but I just can't come up with anything I can do as far as work or pleasure that would truly make me happy.

I work 40 hours a week, but my work doesn't excite me. After going home, I hang out with my roommate.

I know I should do something more. When I think about what I'd rather be doing, my mind goes blank. I feel like I've become so bogged down in practicality that I've lost the ability to have hopes and aspirations.I just don't know how to go about it.

I want to be able to dream big dreams, and find out what truly makes me happy.

How can I do this?

How can I forget an extremely disturbing and nightmarish hallucination/dream that I had, or at least stop being afraid of it?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 09:53:38 -0800

How can I forget an extremely disturbing and nightmarish hallucination/dream that I had, or at least stop being afraid of it? I was recently at home seeing my parents. My mother was taking a nap on the living room floor, snoring loudly, and I was reading in a chair nearby. That night, I had a dream that was exactly like this and I had no idea that I was asleep. In the dream, I looked up from my book and saw that my mother's face/head was an eyeless blob covered with noses and weird ridges. She was still snoring and it was like all the nostrils covering her head were inhaling. I woke up in a panic and it took me a while to realize that it had been a dream. It scared me more than anything else I have ever seen, but I'm not sure why except that the idea is pretty psychotic.

It sounds silly, but I still feel really disturbed about it days later and it's bothering me. I wonder if anyone else has tried to get a disturbing but fantastical image out of their head, or how I could do it.

Can you give up on a dream?

London Irregular — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 04:14:28 -0800

Is it possible or desirable to talk yourself out of a big dream (music) and do something else with your life? For about 14 years now, my ambition to have a career in music has been underlying my life, but now I'm suffering from a conflict about whether or not I can drop the idea.

From when I was about 11 I wanted to be a classical performer, and studied at a conservatoire. From about 18 that started to change, and I have wanted to create/compose electronic music.

I'm 28 now, and on paper there are good reasons to give up on the idea.

I haven't developed a good day-job career, and I feel like I should be using my creativity and drive to gain some freedom from the daily grind e.g. starting a business, rather than being stuck on some statistically unlikely dream.

I've suffered from bad RSI from playing and using a computer so much, and while I'm better and can manage it, it feels good to be doing things that are healthy for my body. The RSI has also given me the chance to get happier in social situations, and enjoy things in life apart from sitting in a room, obsessively repeating motions.

On the other hand, making music is the only thing that deeply fascinates me and that I can get absorbed in. It feels painful that I haven't been doing it, and the idea that it won't be the focus of my life is a bit scary.

I think the reason why I can't give up on the idea is partly because I've wanted it for so long, and it's tied up with my self esteem. I don't want to play any violins, but I got an inner city kid scholarship thing to study music, and it was always the thing that I was good at even if other things weren't going so well.

I don't know if I can resolve this and find peace with not being a musician, or whether it's part of me and I'll regret not giving it my best shot.

Has anyone given up on a dream and found happiness in an alternative way, or stuck with it despite all practical reasons. How did it work out for you?

Email: z4khp1402 at sneakemail dot com

Which is it?

lain — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:51:28 -0800

Was this part of a movie or was it just a dream? My dreams are extremely visual, and sometimes I can't tell if a memory is from a dream or an old movie I saw when I was a kid.
Here's what I remember: A young man with a girl are in some sort of cave (maybe they are just underground), and there is a boulder covering up a large hole in the ground. The boy moves the boulder, (and I think the girl says something along the lines of, "The hole is covered up for a reason") and either bats come out or some sort of dog-like creature runs towards them from inside the hole, where the boy and girl frantically move the rock back, covering the hole again.

Was this from a movie? Or am I just remembering an old nightmare, where I was that young man? It's driving me crazy!