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How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Remembering what you chose to forget

How have you gone about investigating your moments of childhood religious doubt as an adult? Interested in why I "gave up" Christianity but cannot remember my actual process of thoughts and feelings. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Aug 21, 2013 - 31 answers

How do I stop relationship doubts from becoming self-fulfilling?

I'm having doubts about whether I'm in love with my partner and whether I want to stay with him. We've been together 5 1/2 years and lived together for almost 4. Because I've started thinking more about doubts I have, I think I'm becoming more sensitive to things about them that bother me, which makes me doubt even more. They also make me feel guilty and isolated from my partner, which makes things feel even worse.

I'm not asking whether I should stay, but for advice on how to stop doubts from metastasizing and making me feel miserable 24/7, while still working through them. Also, for advice on how to be kind and honest with my partner during this time.

PS I have a therapist I was seeing a year ago, yes Mefi I'm calling her right now... let me know if there's anything in particular I should ask her about - CBT etc? [more inside]
posted by blu_stocking on Jul 16, 2013 - 13 answers

Books about "maybe there is a God" for an agnostic with some doubts.

I have read a lot of the – for lack of a better word – anti-religion Books. The God Delusion by Dawkins, Hitchens’s God is Not Great and The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice. Sam Harris’s The End of Faith and Letters to a Christian Nation, among quite a few others. Those books made a lot of sense to me. Most (if not all) of my friends and colleagues are either agnostics or atheists. [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Jun 14, 2013 - 41 answers

Should I feel hurt that my boyfriend may be going on a trip without me?

I want to ask him if he's going but don't want to seem pushy about it. [more inside]
posted by femmefatale123 on May 12, 2013 - 55 answers

Help breaking a cycle of destructive thinking and behavior?

I have some very poor ingrained behaviors that center around low self-esteem. Has anyone been successful in interrupting the chain from emotional reaction->saying stupid things->causing upset and hurt? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2013 - 8 answers

Months ago, boyfriend told me he has herpes. It still bothers me. What now?

On herpes and forgiveness. Nine months into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that he has HSV-2. That was almost a year ago. It still bothers me. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2012 - 47 answers

Skeptical of my own abilities.

The time is drawing near when I have to make a name for myself, put myself out there, promote myself as a capable, dependable, charming, motivated, talented, creative, expressive, innovative, hirable grownup. But I'm having a bit more difficulty with this than I'd anticipated. I can't remember the last time I felt proud of anything I've done. [more inside]
posted by The Biggest Dreamer on Nov 12, 2012 - 3 answers

How to stay when it hurts like I'm already gone

How do you stay in a relationship when you know there's a very good chance it might end soon? [Siberian winter's worth of snowflakes inside.] [more inside]
posted by Sockmaster on Sep 17, 2012 - 42 answers

how do you break the cycle of poor relationship decision-making?

How have you stopped the cycle of poor decision-making in relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2012 - 9 answers

How to come to terms with long cycle of failure and move on?

After years of escapism, how to anchor life to meaning (or vice versa?) when almost four years of research hasn't amounted to anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2012 - 21 answers

What would you do with a million dollars? "Nothing."

Is Ambition required for Success? Is it possible to be too well adjusted? What if you don't like what you're good at? I have been struggling with the concepts of ambition and achievement in regard to self-esteem and a sense of self-worth (warning: long, vague) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2012 - 15 answers

Christian apologetics book recommendations that accept the fact of evolution

Looking for recommendations for books on Christian apologetics that take seriously the reality of evolution rather than denying it in favor of the argument from design. [more inside]
posted by huxham on Apr 3, 2012 - 12 answers

How to understand the science of talk therapy?

Can you help me find some science-based reasons to believe that therapy works? [more inside]
posted by feets on Mar 30, 2012 - 19 answers

How to distinguish relationship doubts from a complicated history?

I've been with a wonderful man for 4 years and I'm panicking about ending the relationship for no good reason. I still get smiley when he texts me and he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, but I have these sudden adrenalin rushes and an overwhelming panicky feeling that I have to end the relationship immediately. I asked for three weeks apart to clear my head, and we made it to two before I wanted him here again... but the panicking is back! [more inside]
posted by Anne Onymouse on Feb 24, 2012 - 29 answers

Is this really what I want?

If this divorce is really what I want, why do I keep second-guessing myself? [more inside]
posted by tryniti on Jan 16, 2012 - 32 answers

Is this how love works?

Is this how love works? One day it's unmistakable, then next it's almost impossible to find. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2011 - 34 answers

How not to people-please your way to relationship angst

How do those who tend to people-please stay honest with their feelings and needs in romantic relationships? I want to avoid becoming overwhelmed and disoriented after about half a year or so, which seems to happen again and again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 27, 2011 - 14 answers

Jesus vs. Bible?

Found Jesus. But the Bible pushes me away from Him. Now what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2010 - 55 answers

When in doubt, ask yourself this....

RelationshipFilter: How can I look at the relationship more objectively? When I read the huge long journal entry I just wrote about my relationship, I realize he comes off as kind of a jerk. And he is kinda. But how do I know if I'm being a selfish bitch? How have you learned to draw these lines? [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Jul 20, 2010 - 18 answers

What material is out there that specifically talks about doubt in Christianity?

I'm looking for books, documentary, video, anything decently published on the topic of doubt and doubting in Christianity. [more inside]
posted by superiorchicken on Jul 17, 2010 - 25 answers

False hope would suck.

ControversialFilter: is acupuncture a load of bunk? [more inside]
posted by Hakaisha on May 17, 2010 - 63 answers

Gut was wrong

How can I keep trusting my gut after it turned out to be so wrong? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Apr 2, 2010 - 22 answers

Scared of Living?

I'm not sure what to call this but there's something off with me and I don't know what it is. I've always had a hard time with my social relationships. [more inside]
posted by Garden on Feb 14, 2010 - 37 answers

Help this struggling atheist get over her desire to believe.

After years of drifting along as a "spiritual but not religious" believer I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I'm not actually a believer at all. I am an atheist with a lingering but unwanted desire to believe and it is making me miserable. Can you help me move past this? [more inside]
posted by lysistrata on Feb 6, 2009 - 77 answers

deciding to be a parent with chronic illness

Having kids or not when you have chronic health issues: how did you decide and come to terms with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2008 - 12 answers

How do I know if medical school is a good environment for me?

Med school is considering kicking me out - what should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2007 - 15 answers

What should go on my reading list?

I'm doing my undergraduate thesis on the rhetorical technique known as Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt. What should go on my reading list? [more inside]
posted by ifranzen on Sep 20, 2007 - 10 answers

How sure should I be before I say yes?

How sure should I be before accepting a marriage proposal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2007 - 63 answers

As usual, my "gut" is sending me mixed messages.

Did you marry someone despite misgivings and have actually it work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 30, 2006 - 22 answers

Find This Story

What with the Archbishop of Canterbury on the point of being vanquished by plain old Doubt (not that it was much of a contest in Rowan Williams's case) I was reminded of a drama I once read as a book and later saw as a TV screenplay. An abbot of a particular monastery has secretly lost his faith, and so does not wish to lead the brothers in prayer; he always gets someone else to do this, to avoid a personal spiritual crisis caused by having to pray publicly to, as he sees it, nothing. The Catholic hierarchy of that future time, unbeknownst to him, has become entirely atheist. An agent of the curia is sent to force the abbot to the point of a self-destroying confrontation with his unbelief. The agent achieves this by manipulating him into a situation where he can't avoid being the one to lead the assembled brothers in a public prayer.

Can anyone tell me what this thing is that I remember? Title and author are entirely gone. Thanks!
posted by jfuller on Jan 6, 2005 - 4 answers

Catholic... mostly

Suppose you're Catholic, but you don't trust in the Vatican and you don't believe in transubstantiation. What does that make you?
posted by eamondaly on Jan 30, 2004 - 47 answers

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