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Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

 

Anniversary party/the abuser run in edition

Forty years ago, my parents founded a literary society together. (They subsequently divorced). The organization is having its fortieth anniversary party. Both my parents will be there and they are generally very happy/excited to see old friends, read old poems, and remember friends who have passed away. I am going to support them. Here's my problem: my mother dated and lived with one of the other members for years. And one day he went psycho, broke her ribs and put her in the hospital. She called me bleeding and crying from the hospital. It wasn't safe for her to go back home obviously, so she had to go into a domestic violence shelter before staying with a friend and then getting her own apartment. This was 15 years ago and she hasn't seen or talked to him since. She didn't press charges to my knowledge. [more inside]
posted by bananafish on Oct 17, 2013 - 25 answers

Black Currants and Licorice

I like two flavors that are not terribly popular in the US, but are liked abroad: black currant and licorice. I load up whenever I travel, and I have import sources for each (think of Ribena and Icelandic salt licorice). I've got imports covered. Are there US (not import) products that have these flavors that I'm not thinking of? [more inside]
posted by Admiral Haddock on Oct 4, 2013 - 35 answers

How can I help my mother out of an abusive relationship?

My mother needs help leaving a bad situation. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2013 - 9 answers

Please help me find this poem about domestic violence.

Please help me find this poem about domestic violence. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Aug 5, 2013 - 4 answers

Accidentally travelling through Vietnam: please explain visas to me!

I'm flying from Australia to Europe with Vietnam airlines. I think I might have a hidden domestic leg of the flight in Vietnam on the way there, or maybe on both routes. My travel agent says I don't need a visa for this domestic flight. I suspect he is wrong. Has anyone done this flight before who can give me more info? [more inside]
posted by lollusc on Jul 6, 2013 - 17 answers

International postage stamps from a domestic source

I have a bunch of postcards I'm mailing out from within the US to people in the US, UK and Switzerland. I can put domestic stamps on the cards sent from within the US to our US address, so that the recipients can just drop it in a mailbox. Does the USPS or another entity within the US sell stamps that I can put on the postcards sent from the UK and Switzerland, such that the recipients don't need to buy their own stamps?
posted by Blazecock Pileon on May 10, 2013 - 10 answers

My friend is in an abusive relationship. How to deal?

I have a good friend who has been in an abusive relationship for over a decade. I've always been frank with her about the risks she faces and have provided a place to live/get away when she needs it. It hurts me deeply that I can't seem to help and I fear that I am just enabling the situation with stop-gap measures. Are there resources or books for bewildered friends and family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2013 - 11 answers

Help me calm anxiety about travel to China.

I am travelling to China from Canada in the near future. I have hundreds of questions and concerns but mostly just need reassurance that I'm not forgetting anything. Bonus, what should I do for carry-on? [more inside]
posted by sarae on Mar 13, 2013 - 19 answers

How do I find a nanny?

How do I find a nanny/domestic assistant? [more inside]
posted by tylerkaraszewski on Dec 4, 2012 - 10 answers

Will I make my connecting flight?

I'm flying from the Birmingham (AL) airport to the Manchester (UK) airport next Friday, with a connecting flight at ATL. There will only be 53 minutes between my first flight arriving at ATL and my second flight departing. What are the chances I'll miss my second flight? [more inside]
posted by littlegreen on Nov 30, 2012 - 18 answers

What happened to the servants?

By the second half of the 20th century, Britain's servant class had all but disappeared. How was this phenomenon covered in contemporary news, commentary and literature? [more inside]
posted by dontjumplarry on Jul 18, 2012 - 19 answers

Neighbor attacked boyfriend; what should I do?

Neighbor attacked her boyfriend with knife. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by dolce_voce on Jul 18, 2012 - 34 answers

Where is the best place in the world for a porter/stout (beer) enthusiast to travel if they want to taste it all?

Where is the best place in the world for a porter/stout (beer) enthusiast to travel if they want to taste it all? If there isn't a place that's best for those dark styles specifically, where do you go if you're a beer enthusiast generally? [more inside]
posted by juliplease on May 20, 2012 - 24 answers

Help me not feel like the most incompetent housewife on the block.

We just bought a new three-story house with 2,900 square feet of gorgeous dark hardwood floors that make every single tiny speck of dust stand out (and we're about to get a short-haired, light-colored dog). How the hell do I keep this place clean without going crazy? [more inside]
posted by halogen on May 17, 2012 - 20 answers

What else can we do?

Active domestic violence and emotional abuse in the unit above me... Help us brainstorm, are there other things we can do as neighbors with long ears? [more inside]
posted by Leucistic Cuttlefish on Apr 25, 2012 - 16 answers

Non-Traditional Homemakers, Unite!

I recently find myself 41, married, child-free, and a housewife in a rural area (I am no longer working due to a currently moderate but progressive disability). It's important for my health to stay active and engaged, and I like to be busy. In trying to research the fine art of being a homemaker, I can't find ANY websites that cater to people in my particular situation (2 adults, no kids). I've even tried websites about how to live life as a retiree, but they seem to think all people over 65 do is travel and play golf with their financial adviser. Any suggestions on sites about how to be an "alternative housewife"? [more inside]
posted by evilcupcakes on Mar 22, 2012 - 30 answers

Potential domestic violence/abuse roommate situation?

I think I'm in a potential domestic violence/abuse roommate situation. Help! [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Feb 28, 2012 - 43 answers

My dog killed a cat; what to do?

My dog killed a cat in my yard. I have no idea where it came from, but suspect it is not wild. We are traumatized, what do we do? [more inside]
posted by butterstick on Feb 9, 2012 - 70 answers

Best carry-on suitcase for domestic travel?

Help me pick the best carry-on suitcase that will meet my domestic traveling needs! [more inside]
posted by 6spd on Dec 25, 2011 - 14 answers

Should we get married?

Should we get married? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2011 - 19 answers

How to respond to a family vacation turned violent domestic incident?

My family just spent a week with my wife's brother and his family. Six kids, four adults, one week in their house. It was for the most part uneventful. In fact, it was great. We're now from the big city, they're from the suburbs in the South. We ate BBQ, fished, shot guns, and drank beer, all things we aren't able to do where we normally live. Then, the last night, the brother got violent. Started picking a fight that we couldn't stop, accusing us of mocking him and his family and wife. There was NO way to diffuse it. I can't tell you how much we tried to be solicitous. He ended up hitting my wife on the arm and shoving me, we ran out of the house in the middle of the night grabbing clothes and kids and stayed in a hotel. It's been a few days and my wife and I are now at her mom's house 30 minutes away - she doesn't seem to know what happened. Do we tell her? Do we report the incident to the police? How do I set parameters around ever seeing each other again (such as to go see a counselor)? This doesn't seem to be a normal pattern for him, but something in his relationship with his sister really, really set him off. I don't want to be unforgiving - I just can't predict if that firestorm could appear again and honestly that night i feared for my life and the lives of my wife and kids - so how do we move on from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2011 - 40 answers

Broken Fridge maybe/maybe not?

Broken fridge; need refrigeration engineer help for insurance and maintenance purposes. Many technical geeky issues involved. Long post follows: [more inside]
posted by FauxScot on Sep 8, 2011 - 7 answers

Foreign Not Domestic

Can anyone recommend some contemporary foreign personal essayists? [more inside]
posted by John of Michigan on Aug 2, 2011 - 7 answers

Fatal Felines: Fact or Fallacy?

Has a domestic cat ever actually killed a human being? I can't find any evidence of this, and yet, I keep running into people who seem weirdly fearful of cats (and no, I am not talking about allergic folks). What is going on? [more inside]
posted by aecorwin on Jul 21, 2011 - 55 answers

What should I have done?

What would you do in this situation? Mind your own business, intervene, call the police, or something else? [more inside]
posted by seesom on May 19, 2011 - 34 answers

How to get inappropriate fellow volunteer banned from our historical archives?

How to get inappropriate fellow volunteer banned from our historical archives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2011 - 11 answers

I don't know how to support my mentally ill mother.

How can I best support my family in a situation involving domestic turmoil and mental illness? This is an abnormally long question but I tried to include everything. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2010 - 19 answers

Help for victims of domestic abuse?

My friend was assaulted by her husband last week. She's new to this country, and feels that she doesn't have anyone knowledgable of the law to talk to about what she can do, or what's going to happen... [more inside]
posted by blueberry on Jul 3, 2010 - 19 answers

Flying domestic with lots of cash

I might be flying domestically (USA) with a large sum of cash. Will I have issues with TSA? [more inside]
posted by fuzzypinkslippers on Jun 17, 2010 - 8 answers

Are foreign vs. domestic car brands statistically more reliable?

Are foreign vs. domestic car brands statistically more reliable? [more inside]
posted by Dr. ShadowMask on May 23, 2010 - 18 answers

Checked baggage fees on domestic flights for International travelers?

Do International travelers have to pay checked baggage fees for domestic flights within the United States? [more inside]
posted by crossoverman on Apr 23, 2010 - 10 answers

Domestic situation

We have a domestic situation ... [more inside]
posted by allelopath on Mar 12, 2010 - 49 answers

How to keep a toddler or infant amused when it's too cold?

What are some fun (inside) games to play with a toddler? I love my 13 monther dearly but the recent snow and cold weather in the Northeast has forced us to stay inside where it's tougher to keep her entertained. [more inside]
posted by skepticallypleased on Feb 11, 2010 - 17 answers

We live together!

NYC domestic partner filter - Do I need to change my non-driver ID to reflect my address, before we file for a partnership? [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Feb 6, 2010 - 7 answers

What do I say if/when she goes back to the man who might kill her?

My friend's on-again/off-again nonstop crazy drama relationship just turned physically abusive six days ago. Now they are separated, again, and hopefully for good. I have reason to believe that the separation won't last, and I don't know how I could or should deal with that. Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2009 - 13 answers

Skirts and Rushes: a Medieval Mystery

Drafty castles, stone construction, floors strewn with rushes, noble ladies' trailing gowns... Anyone who's read any historical fiction set in the Middle Ages is familiar with these popular Medieval motifs, but I have been troubled by a number of questions about these items. Perhaps we have some period history mavens who can ease my confusion? (Warning: Long! Strewn! Possibly moldy.) [more inside]
posted by taz on Sep 23, 2009 - 28 answers

Is my friend's fiance a domestic abuser? If so, now what?

How can I tell if my friend's fiance is an abuser and if he is, what can I do to help her realize she needs to leave him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2009 - 29 answers

Will a dog ruin my friendship with my cat?

My cats and I have a good thing going. Will introducing a puppy make them hate me forever? [more inside]
posted by muscat on Jul 30, 2009 - 19 answers

Help me make a happy house

Is it possible to be a domestic goddess AND have a full-time job? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by cloudsandstars on Jul 22, 2009 - 27 answers

Low cost or pro bono legal aid for domestic violence / abuse victims in California?

My friend and her ex-boyfriend got in a fight, he got violent and beat her up pretty bad. She got in the car with their baby and fled cross-country to stay with her parents. There is a hearing next month to determine custody of the child, and she doesn't want to lose the kid to what is likely going to be an abusive father. Lawyer up, right? Problem is, not a lot of money. Can you point me to any organizations in California that provide pro-bono / sliding-scale / low-cost legal aid services for abused women? [more inside]
posted by sergeant sandwich on Jun 28, 2009 - 10 answers

allergy cat

Do cats get hayfever?
posted by cameronfromedinburgh on Jun 22, 2009 - 12 answers

Is there a sanitary way to reduce our daily dishwashing?

Is there a sanitary way to reduce our daily dishwashing? [more inside]
posted by katala on Mar 28, 2009 - 25 answers

Nancy Drew as cook and housecleaner?

In one of the early Nancy Drew books, circa 1931-2 or thereabouts, Nancy takes care of an elderly guy ( I think that's the scenario) and actually cooks and cleans for a couple of days at his house. Which book would it be? [more inside]
posted by ragtimepiano on Mar 15, 2009 - 9 answers

Any good books about 'stone soup' days?

I'd like to read some good books, preferably autobiographical, about managing a household in hard times. [more inside]
posted by Catch on Feb 15, 2009 - 29 answers

I think my neighbour is being abused. What should I do?

I think that my downstairs neighbour is being abused by her partner. I want to help her. But I'm not sure of the facts - I have no evidence. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by finding.perdita on Nov 28, 2008 - 29 answers

Taxes and GDP

How do changes to the tax rates correlate with changes to the Gross Domestic Product (GDP), and how are those changes forecasted? [more inside]
posted by brandnew on Oct 14, 2008 - 4 answers

Please help me help my friend.

My friend has just confided that her new husband is often verbally abusive, and occasionally physically abusive. I honestly don't know how to help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 1, 2008 - 35 answers

What sort of neighbor to be?

This morning, my neighbors down the hall had an extended, high-volume fight. It frightened me in its intensity and content. I called the cops and slipped a note under the door when the aggressor left. Is there anything else I can or should do? [more inside]
posted by minervous on Apr 16, 2008 - 37 answers

The most Libertarian place on Earth

If I really wanted to "live free or die," what country/city/region is my best option? Assuming a normal human life with normal services* without purchasing a farm, where does a person on Earth have the most rights? (Electricity, running water, food, internet)
posted by clango on Feb 27, 2008 - 41 answers

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