Went through extreme anxiety and upheaval 2 years ago and have experienced sexual dysfunction and prostatitis-like symptoms ever since. How can I approach this? [more inside]
The other day I had already had a bad day when my husband made an insensitive and crappy remark about something. I replied with tears in my eyes and said that he really had no idea about [subject]. Husband ignored that and then 5 minutes later cheerfully asked if I wanted to watch tv. I said no. He was surprised that I was "still mad" and we tried to talk about it, but I shut down because I felt vulnerable and remembered past talkings where I always felt like "too sensitive" and nothing would change anyway. This time, my husband apparently also thought the same because he said "Well, if you're unhappy, maybe you don't want to continue this relationship, because I'm not going to change". [more inside]
We need someone to walk us through a separation in Seattle. There may be some legal and financial things to hash out as well. No idea how to do this. writingcrush at gmail for private messages.
I dated my first love for 2-1/2 years and then we got married. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. She asked for a divorce about a month ago. How do I cope? Please see the extended explanation for specific questions. [more inside]
My husband of sixteen years and I are going through an amicable divorce. Our six-year old son seemed to be dealing with it very well for the past year but now we're about to sell the family home he seems to have broken down, resorting to mild self-harm and not eating, saying he hates himself because he is stupid. The school psychologist has suggested he might benefit from seeing a therapist. Can you recommend someone great, ideally in Somerville or Cambridge? Throwaway email: firstname.lastname@example.org
My days are full, though sometimes full of heart-ache. At night, once the pets and child are asleep, I am alone. Going out is not an option, and sometimes books, music and movies just aren't going to cut it. Did anyone find something surprising or helpful to them after a breakup that might help me get more comfortable with my alone time?
The guy I've been dating is pulling away, and I need some help wading through the conflicting 'wisdom'. [more inside]
My husband of 8 years and I have come to an impasse: he wants a free-love, open relationship because he stifled his sexuality as a religious person before we were married, and I want...well, not that. How do I move forward when it means breaking the most important bond I have? [more inside]
Looking for some general advice on my financial situation. I'm contemplating hiring a financial planner, but they're $500 for two hours worth of work. I don't think my stuff is that complicated. I'm coming out of a nasty divorce, and count myself fortunate that I don't have debt to my eyeballs. Nevertheless, I want to make the best of what I have. So I'm looking for advice on where to throw money, where to take money, etc. [more inside]
I'm in the process of filing an uncontested, no-fault divorce from my husband. We just want to get the necessary paperwork over with as soon as possible and sign on the dotted line. Details inside, kept short and succinct for your viewing ease! [more inside]
What are the things that you did during a conjugal crises that helped you? [more inside]
My wife and I are having a lot of problems in our marriage, have been for quite some time. Infidelity on both sides. Unresolved childhood trauma. Lack of trust and honesty from both parties. We have a wonderful life and two amazing children and are best friends, have been since high school. We're both starting therapy (separately) and then maybe marriage counseling. And I suppose this is one of those things that I can expect or hope to work out in therapy? But right now, how do I know if I should stay in my marriage? What signs did you have that your marriage was over or was salvageable?
Last summer I left an emotionally abusive long-term relationship, and I’m still really struggling with loneliness and heartbreak. Hope me. [more inside]
My mom just found out my dad's been cheating on her. How do I deal with all of this from 3000 miles away? [more inside]
Asking for a friend. YANHL. A couple has divorced, wife has a local civil service pension and husband a federal civilian pension. The judge ruled they would split each pension 50/50, instead of letting them keep their own. She has sent her court order to his pension board and has received acknowledgement. She has been unable to get any answers from the pension board about what happens now. He has left federal service but has not retired. Does she have to wait until he retires to start receiving her monthly checks from the federal system? Can she start getting them when he reaches retirement age even if he's not retired? Who can she contact that will answer her questions? Would CC'ing her Senators/Rep on her emails help or hurt? Thanks.
Here's the rub: In February on 2012, I decided to end my marriage. Because I was dead broke, we simply moved apart, split the bank account in two and went our separate ways with the understanding that we'd make a move to formally divorce in the next year. We did not get a legal separation. That divorce is now pending. My soon-to-be-ex-wife filed her taxes 'Married, Filing Separately'. This causing me all kind of tax havoc, including a bill I have no way of paying. More inside... [more inside]
Why am I having so much trouble leaving an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship? Or, tell me about your experience with leaving and how long it took you. [more inside]
My wife and I are getting divorced. At times she erupts at me with either overt or barely disguised hostility. How do I deal with the emotions caused by this? [more inside]
I am hoping that someone has a recommendation (or even a "stay away from") for a Cantonese-speaking divorce lawyer in the San Francisco area. [more inside]
Can you advise me how to go about getting the files for a particular divorce and attendant custody battle in CT in the 1970s? [more inside]
How many successful Film Directors are happily married...to their first wife (or husband)? Answers may be given as an estimated percentage if that's easier. [more inside]
My husband and I separated a couple months ago. Married 2 years. I'm going back and forth about whether our marriage is possibly salvageable or not. My main issue with him is that he blames me, a lot and frequently. He has trouble taking responsibility for his own emotional state and behavior. [more inside]
A person close to me spoke about her relationship with her husband of 25 years. I say the symptoms she described are abuse in prototype form and I'm alarmed about it. Perhaps I am wrong; please help her and me figure out what's going on. Bonus points for next steps. [more inside]
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
I think my marriage may be irreparably broken. The idea of splitting up is agonizing, but if things don't turn around soon, I can't stay. But. I don't know what to do about our cat, and it's tearing me apart. [more inside]
It seems to me that if you've been fairly happy for many (10 - 25) years, this trend would continue. For many people that doesn't seem to be the case. I am interested in hearing theories or experiences regarding that. How can something that worked for so long cease to work so suddenly?
Not an original story. I love my husband but I love someone else too. What do I do? Looooong explanation to follow, apologies. [more inside]
So my divorce took a crazy turn for the worst and all hope of reconciliation has flown out the window. Can anyone recommend books for a man in his late 30s / early 40s going through and recovering from a divorce? Any books for either dealing with the divorce itself or dealing with life after and re-entry to dating world would be great.
Rebuilding credit a few years post-divorce and home ownership, does anyone have experience with services like rentreporters.com that will report rental payment history to credit services? [more inside]
I've been divorced for several years now. My ex-wife and I get along amicably. I am single and she has been involved in an LTR since the divorce became official. Everything's fine, everyone's happy. Our kids are thriving.My ex-wife's birthday is in three weeks and up until now I've been the one to coordinate helping the kids get her something for her birthday. It occurred to me that it's probably time for the New Guy to take this over, right? They're not engaged, he still has his own place, but he does spend a lot of time there in your standard domestic situations. I have no problem discussing this with my ex, I'm just looking for a sanity-check on this idea before I bring it up. Am I missing something? Is this even a good idea? (For the record, I am single and she will probably be responsible for my birthdays (vis-a-vis the kids) for the forseeable future.)
Hoping for advice, encouragement, discouragement, honesty, etc. I just ended a marriage (shy of one year) last year and am newly single as of four months, I was in a 6 year relationship which ended because I realized my ex was not faithful and continued to question our marriage. [more inside]
Friend is divorcing a high conflict personality (to put it more than politely). Since he is pro se, he generates a massive amount of emails and motions and false accusations etc. This results in having to collect a huge amount of documentation to be able to say in court "you're lying and here's the proof" [more inside]
My sister (married, one child) and I (married, no kids) want to plan a joint family vacation. We do not want our parents (divorced, both remarried) to come. Our mom is extremely sensitive/dramatic, and we are hoping to avoid a major meltdown from her. Help? [more inside]
I need recommendations for an attorney in the Philadelphia area, who can handle divorce and custody cases where one party (myself) is a non-US citizen, who is here on a marriage-based Green Card. The Card itself is about 2 years old.
I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this? (I've tried to anonymise this as best I can) [more inside]
What withholding should I put in my W4 if I'm paying alimony/spousal support? [more inside]
I am currently undergoing a career crisis and I need some wisdom, blunt feedback, and strategies for going forward. [more inside]
Can you recommend a good divorce lawyer in Winnipeg (MB), Canada? Or, if you can't, can you tell me how I can find one? [more inside]
How to introduce boyfriend to son after a divorce. Personal experiences as the girlfriend, boyfriend, or the child? Advice? [more inside]
Have you been in a marriage or LTR where you were on the brink of breaking up but then you didn't? If so, how did that work? [more inside]
My dad died a few days before Thanksgiving and my wife just left me (2 days after my birthday) and wants a divorce. Best survival tips? [more inside]
Division of marital assets in Canada via RRSP and home equity. What are the pros and cons and what should be considered? [more inside]
How do I tell my co-workers I'm getting a divorce? [more inside]
How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family? [more inside]
Can my wife sue me for infidelity (and what does that even mean?) [more inside]
Issues with supporting a friend in court for divorce [more inside]
Buying a house while married but physically separated -- what are the possible issues? [more inside]
Lost my job in the middle of a divorce. How do we pay for separate households until we're finished? [more inside]
My ex-wife had our child baptized without my knowledge or permission. What can I do? [more inside]
I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period. [more inside]