My wife and I are having a lot of problems in our marriage, have been for quite some time. Infidelity on both sides. Unresolved childhood trauma. Lack of trust and honesty from both parties. We have a wonderful life and two amazing children and are best friends, have been since high school.
We're both starting therapy (separately) and then maybe marriage counseling. And I suppose this is one of those things that I can expect or hope to work out in therapy? But right now, how do I know if I should stay in my marriage?
What signs did you have that your marriage was over or was salvageable?
posted by anonymous
on Apr 9, 2013 -
13 answers
Last summer I left an emotionally abusive long-term relationship, and I’m still really struggling with loneliness and heartbreak. Hope me.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 7, 2013 -
13 answers
My mom just found out my dad's been cheating on her. How do I deal with all of this from 3000 miles away?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 5, 2013 -
27 answers
Here's the rub: In February on 2012, I decided to end my marriage. Because I was dead broke, we simply moved apart, split the bank account in two and went our separate ways with the understanding that we'd make a move to formally divorce in the next year. We did not get a legal separation. That divorce is now pending. My soon-to-be-ex-wife filed her taxes 'Married, Filing Separately'. This causing me all kind of tax havoc, including a bill I have no way of paying. More inside...
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 28, 2013 -
28 answers
Why am I having so much trouble leaving an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship? Or, tell me about your experience with leaving and how long it took you.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 28, 2013 -
19 answers
My wife and I are getting divorced. At times she erupts at me with either overt or barely disguised hostility. How do I deal with the emotions caused by this?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 27, 2013 -
34 answers
I think my marriage may be irreparably broken. The idea of splitting up is agonizing, but if things don't turn around soon, I can't stay.
But. I don't know what to do about our cat, and it's tearing me apart.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2013 -
39 answers
Not an original story. I love my husband but I love someone else too. What do I do? Looooong explanation to follow, apologies.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 19, 2013 -
55 answers
My sister (married, one child) and I (married, no kids) want to plan a joint family vacation. We do not want our parents (divorced, both remarried) to come. Our mom is extremely sensitive/dramatic, and we are hoping to avoid a major meltdown from her. Help?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 26, 2013 -
16 answers
I need recommendations for an attorney in the Philadelphia area, who can handle divorce and custody cases where one party (myself) is a non-US citizen, who is here on a marriage-based Green Card. The Card itself is about 2 years old.
posted by anonymous
on Jan 24, 2013 -
4 answers
I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this?
(I've tried to anonymise this as best I can)
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 24, 2013 -
45 answers
I am currently undergoing a career crisis and I need some wisdom, blunt feedback, and strategies for going forward.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 21, 2013 -
17 answers
How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 27, 2012 -
22 answers
Buying a house while married but physically separated -- what are the possible issues?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 14, 2012 -
5 answers
So, my wife and I are getting a divorce. Does it matter which one of us is the plaintiff and which is the defendant?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 6, 2012 -
13 answers
I feel like I am experiencing sleep paralysis--I know I want to wake up but I just can't move. I've had no shortage of difficult life challenges over the years. Leaving a drug-addled, abusive family behind, holding dying loved ones, quitting cigarettes, I've ended LTRs in the past (and had them ended by partners too). I am not an over-thinker or an indecisive person and this feels so weird.
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 2, 2012 -
5 answers
My semi-troubled sibling finally pulled the "I want to live with dad!" card. What should my mom do? How can I support her?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 1, 2012 -
16 answers
My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 21, 2012 -
65 answers
My family has taken a side in my amicable divorce. And it's not "my" side. How do I get support from them when I am isolated and depressed and really need them?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 12, 2012 -
26 answers
I have recently separated from my wife of 6 years and have moved out of the family home into temporary accommodation. It has been about a month since I left and I am in a very confused place at the moment. My wife has put forward an ultimatum that is tearing me apart and I would appreciate some perspective from the hive mind.
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 25, 2012 -
79 answers
You need to meet with your soon-to-be ex-husband to go over some financial issues.
You've both agreed to do it without your lawyers just to get some stuff resolved without the complication of their "input". Where? Your house feels uncomfortable as a site. No way are you going to his new place. A restaurant? No. We don't want to have dinner together, just talk quietly and calmly and maybe go over some documents. The library? Feels weird. Suggestions?
posted by anonymous
on Sep 19, 2012 -
41 answers
Divorce from abusive ex almost final, unexpectedly slept with a friend. We have loads in common but he's not (yet?) available. Cool it, or enjoy?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 17, 2012 -
31 answers
Asking for a friend: How should my sister bring her son home, across state lines, during a messy divorce proceeding?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 2, 2012 -
7 answers
YANAL, but I need some direction. I think my husband is going to ask for a divorce, and I am clueless as to the next steps. He significantly outearns me...
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 14, 2012 -
29 answers
My mother hasn't received child support payments from my father for over a year; I think she's become incredibly depressed about her treatment by the legal system, and has come to believe that no matter what she does, she'll have to bear the full financial burden of raising my sister. Help me inspire her with a rational reason why she should keep trying.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 11, 2012 -
13 answers
I think it's time for my wife and I to separate, but I have no idea exactly how to go about it. Help me out, hive mind.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 5, 2012 -
18 answers
My friend, Ann, is a married woman with two young children. Her husband has severe, chronic depression but refuses to get help. She has had an affair. She is not sure how to leave him, as she has no career or money of her own. More than that, I just don't think she's able to comprehend ever leaving him. How do I help her?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 23, 2012 -
19 answers
I have a sister about to go through a separation and likely divorce while in a foreign country. Would appreciate any comments/advice on the impact of the separation on the visa of the dependent husband, and how to prevent the husband taking the child out of country.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 20, 2012 -
5 answers
I bought my house from my wife. We got our escrow refund check in the mail. I think it's rightly mine. She disagrees. Details inside...
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 16, 2012 -
11 answers
Will learning to orgasm through masturbation help me through my divorce? Female, been married 10 years, left because of verbal abuse, disturbed by reawakening of my sexuality now I'm "old" (nearly 40) and unloved.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 10, 2012 -
12 answers
I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post)
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 24, 2012 -
27 answers
I'm in the process of applying for an annulment to my marriage in the Catholic church, and am already feeling incredibly violated and offended by what the tribunal wants to know in order to pass judgement. Help me figure out if I want to suck it up and proceed.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 20, 2012 -
27 answers
My best friend is getting a divorce. She won't talk to me for unknown reasons. I think we're done being best friends. Help me rationalize and cope.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 7, 2012 -
29 answers
This was me. That problem was resolved by him killing himself in our flat. While i was there. Sleeping. Now I have different problems, mainly what the heck do I tell people?
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posted by anonymous
on May 29, 2012 -
38 answers
I just asked my husband for a divorce and he is in complete denial about it. It's like I never asked. How do you tell someone you want a divorce when they won't listen to you?
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posted by anonymous
on May 29, 2012 -
17 answers
I'm trying to convince my wife to attend marriage counselling with me, but I'm having a hard time doing so. Her opinion of marriage counselling (based on what she's read online) is that it's a waste of money and that a marriage counsellor would "only tell us what we already know." When I've pointed out that a marriage counsellor is there to help facilitate communication, her response has been "if we need a facilitator to help us communicate we're fucked anyway."
Reasons for needing counselling + bonus snowflakery inside. Apologies; it turned into a bit of a mind-dumpy wall of text.
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posted by anonymous
on May 21, 2012 -
21 answers
How do I deal with an emotionally charged email from my (semi-estranged?) father? Is it time to cut ties? Crazy snowflake wall of text inside.
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posted by anonymous
on May 18, 2012 -
15 answers
I need a recommendation for a GREAT divorce attorney in Northern Virginia. And by great, I mean: a strong advocate for me and my kids, a strong sense of fairness and the ability to go toe to toe with the ugliest attorney my spouse might dig up.
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posted by anonymous
on May 14, 2012 -
9 answers
Wife wants "space" -- but we're supposed to move to a foreign country in a week. Give her "space" and potentially end the relationship, or try to compromise? There's more to it than that, so here goes:
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posted by anonymous
on May 4, 2012 -
29 answers
Did you maintain a relationship with a stepparent after your biological parent passed away? What was it like?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 29, 2012 -
9 answers
I am attending the wedding of dear friends at which I will have to see my ex-husband and his new partner—a one-time close friend of ours with whom he cheated while married to me. I am now very happily married to someone else, in a relationship far better in every way than my first marriage. Nevertheless, I absolutely dread seeing my ex-husband and my old friend, and the prospect of seeing them is something I’ve dreaded since I first learned of their, erm, relationship. At the same time, I’d REALLY like to be to defuse the emotional power this has over me, and simply enjoy the wedding and the get-together with many other old friends that comes with it. How to work through this? Any advice from people who have navigated these turbulent emotional waters successfully?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 25, 2012 -
35 answers
My wife & I have decided to divorce. It's totally amicable, we don't have much to split. What's the cheapest, easiest way to do this?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 15, 2012 -
14 answers
We're getting a divorce. We live in a rent controlled San Francisco apartment. We both refuse to leave and it's hell. Hivemind, please help me.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 30, 2012 -
34 answers
