87 posts tagged with divorce and separation.
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Separated after many years. Help me feel like I haven't wasted my life.

I separated from my ex-husband about a year ago. I am now 40 years old and I feel like I threw my life away on a marriage that never should have happened. Please help me to move on and be optimistic for the future. (Wall of text inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2015 - 26 answers

Divorce Process Question

Hopefully a quickie: Divorcing, and my car loan is in wife's name (as is registration), and her car loan and registration is in my name. Need your help/advice [more inside]
posted by Draccy on May 6, 2015 - 8 answers

How can I help my new love interest not feel like 'the other woman'?

Recently separated after long but loveless marriage. Re-conected with an old colleague. Like her a lot. (I'm wise enough to differentiate btw a rebound and the real thing). Don't want to hide this relationship to friends and acquaintances. But she's worried about my kids running into us together and she doesn't want to be 'the (perceived) other woman' in their eyes. How do I help quell her fears or is she right? [more inside]
posted by pman78 on Apr 6, 2015 - 31 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

How best to tell (not my) kids about separation?

My sister thinks it's time her children knew about the fact that my husband and I are separated. I agree, but we disagree about how to approach it. I would appreciate some objective hivemind advice please, as I have no idea if I'm being unreasonable or not. Lots of text, advance apologies. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Feb 13, 2015 - 28 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

How to survive a separation and divorce

I am in the beginning stages of separation and divorce. I am the initiator and it is completely one-sided. How do I survive the various feelings I'm going through? Bonus: with tween children. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Jan 21, 2015 - 15 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

Tonight, my husband again stated that he is unwilling to change things that are negatively impacting our marriage. I'm looking for resources that will help me determine if I should try to fix this or walk away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2015 - 28 answers

How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?

At what point in the long, slow, steady decline of a marriage with young children does "we should keep trying to work things out, if only for the kids" become "for the kids' sake, we shouldn't be together"? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Dec 19, 2014 - 57 answers

How to move past in - laws taking sides?

Husband and I have been married for many years and working through some relationship difficulties. This summer I felt things were not repairable and asked for a separation in prep for a divorce [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Nov 8, 2014 - 51 answers

Divorce: who keeps the Engagement and Wedding rings?

I am in the very early stages of separating from my husband. He wants me to give my engagement ring back to him when we divorce. I don't agree. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2014 - 41 answers

Your parents divorced? Tell me about it.

I want to leave my husband and need to understand the potential impact to my daughters, aged 10 and 11. Please tell me what your parents' divorce was like, and the different ways in which it affected you. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Jul 31, 2014 - 47 answers

Should I get back together with my ex-wife?

I could really use some input to help me sort through all of this. At 40 years old, she was having a lesbian affair and asked me to move out. I was devastated. But in hindsight, our marriage wasn't a good one. And I suppose it was just a matter of time before something came along to unravel the whole thing. Now she wants me back. I have no clue how I even feel, much less if I even want to try again. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by normal_guy on Jul 17, 2014 - 37 answers

Breaking up/co-parenting with a difficult person

I've decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance of nearly 6 years. We have a 3 year old. I've realized I would rather be single/co-parenting than have my child see such an unhappy relationship. My boyfriend is regularly verbally/emotionally abusive to me in front of our child, and has a history of being emotionally withdrawn. For the purpose of this question please assume that we are definitely breaking up and that there is no other option for me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2014 - 33 answers

Should I stay or should I go now?

I’m no longer in love with my fiance and I’m not sure how I should proceed. The complicating factor is our children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2014 - 28 answers

How do people find money to move out when separating or divorcing?

A asks B for a divorce. B is not surprised. B agrees, even though B would prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than be branded with a scarlet D*. A wants to move out ASAP. Generally speaking, how do the financial logistics of this work? No special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 17 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

My future just doesn't fit anymore

When leaving is terrifying, but staying's unbearable: please help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by morninganyway on Nov 1, 2013 - 42 answers

How much help should I accept from my husband who left me?

After being partners for 18 years, including 10 years of marriage, this week my husband left me because he "loves me but isn't in love with me". He is being very kind about it, which I deeply appreciate, but I don't know how much of his help it is healthy for me to accept? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2013 - 52 answers

Dating someone separated.

I found out that my boyfriend is technically not divorced. This (as you might imagine) has been a major source of stress for me - what it comes down to is that he and his ex are staying married for insurance reasons, but will file by the new year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2013 - 70 answers

the (housing) logistics of separation

My husband and I have decided to separate. We have 2 daughters (12 and 2) and a house and live in a major city where rent is astronomical. How on earth does this work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2013 - 13 answers

Friend just gave birth. Leaving her husband. What does she need to know?

Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2013 - 19 answers

Have you had to divorce your best friend?

My husband of 8 years and I have come to an impasse: he wants a free-love, open relationship because he stifled his sexuality as a religious person before we were married, and I want...well, not that. How do I move forward when it means breaking the most important bond I have? [more inside]
posted by SarahBellum on May 7, 2013 - 28 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

Is it still your business even though I left?

I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this? (I've tried to anonymise this as best I can) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2013 - 45 answers

Division of marital assets in Canada via RRSP and home equity.

Division of marital assets in Canada via RRSP and home equity. What are the pros and cons and what should be considered? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Jan 4, 2013 - 9 answers

Selfish or selfless? I can't tell.

I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 23, 2012 - 69 answers

Surviving a separation, part 2: boundary setting!

Hoping for advice on setting boundaries within a co-parenting relationship following a marital separation. [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on Nov 9, 2012 - 27 answers

How to get over insecurity about boyfriend's divorce?

What can I do to stop insecurity from boyfriend's from seeing into our relationship? The divorce isn't final, and it's placing a strain on our relationship. I'm afraid that my anger/confusion/fear may sabotage the relationship. [more inside]
posted by lastcall17 on Oct 28, 2012 - 14 answers

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this?

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2012 - 65 answers

Can a healthy marriage last?

How do I regain my trust in marriage when my role models of healthy marriage are separating? [more inside]
posted by horizonseeker on Oct 5, 2012 - 16 answers

Fuckin' Maryland Divorces, How Do THEY Work?

Asking for a very dear friend, YANAL/YANHL/TINLA/OMG/WTF: my friend wants to divorce her emotionally-abusive husband. He doesn't want a divorce and intends to fight her tooth and nail. They live in MD. What to do? [more inside]
posted by julthumbscrew on Sep 27, 2012 - 15 answers

How to survive a marital separation arrangement?

Please help me buckle down and survive the 16 months I have left before my husband abandons me and our kids. [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on Aug 29, 2012 - 142 answers

Things are bad.

Our marriage is crumbling, and it's taking me with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2012 - 29 answers

Know a lawyer in Mumbai?

Family law in Mumbai? Wondering if anyone has recommendations for lawyers practicing in Mumbai/Bombay... An older (60s) Indian couple I know appears to be heading for divorce, and I am trying to help the woman as best I can. Unfortunately, there are a number of complicating factors, and I do not personally know any lawyers in Mumbai, so I thought I would ask here. I realize it's a long shot, but it's worth a try... [more inside]
posted by aramaic on Aug 12, 2012 - 4 answers

Time to go, how to go?

I think it's time for my wife and I to separate, but I have no idea exactly how to go about it. Help me out, hive mind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2012 - 18 answers

impact of separation on Austrian visa status

I have a sister about to go through a separation and likely divorce while in a foreign country. Would appreciate any comments/advice on the impact of the separation on the visa of the dependent husband, and how to prevent the husband taking the child out of country. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2012 - 5 answers

Some semblance of normality?

I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is  dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2012 - 27 answers

How do I explain to my five-year-old son why he hasn't been able to visit me?

How do I explain to my five-year-old son why he hasn't been able to visit me? [more inside]
posted by doomtop on Jun 18, 2012 - 13 answers

mojo...where art thou?

Post-separation/divorce depression...need a good therapist in Vancouver, BC. And also just general advice on getting back on my feet. [more inside]
posted by wutangclan on Jun 17, 2012 - 5 answers

Empathic Vancouver, BC family lawyer?

Please help me find an empathic Vancouver, BC area family lawyer. [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Apr 30, 2012 - 4 answers

Separated from wife, got involved with someone else, should I reconcile with my wife?

I've been separated from my wife for over six months. During that time I got involved with someone else, but now I'm thinking about going back to my wife. Please tell me I'm not making a mistake. [more inside]
posted by quoth_the_raven on Apr 23, 2012 - 53 answers

What's in a name? Should I allow my son's surname to be changed?

Should I allow my son’s mother to change his surname? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2012 - 66 answers

Is this really what I want?

If this divorce is really what I want, why do I keep second-guessing myself? [more inside]
posted by tryniti on Jan 16, 2012 - 32 answers

Dating advice for my best friend

What advice can I give to my best friend about her relationship with a man who is separated. [more inside]
posted by i_wear_boots on Dec 30, 2011 - 14 answers

Life moves on

What do you wish you had known before you separated from your spouse? [more inside]
posted by postel's law on Dec 7, 2011 - 20 answers

How do I take the first step towards ending my marriage?

I know it's time to leave my husband. But what's my first step? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2011 - 24 answers

Bird in a gilded cage, with a cuttlefish of infidelity and a newspaper floor of possible visa fraud

TL; DR: I think my marriage is at an end, and I need some coping strategies. May be the victim of visa fraud. No money for an attorney or another place to live. Help? Suck it up? [more inside]
posted by book 'em, danno on Sep 7, 2011 - 39 answers

How to cope with my wife who's "fallen out of love" with me?

My wife and I married over 27 years ago when she and I were 25; we’d known each other for three years. Our marriage has had its ups and downs--in many cases, the "downs" were provided by her unwillingness/inability to communicate honestly and openly and by my anger at same as well as my on-and-off depression. That said, we always had fun and shared love. In particular, I always stuck in there during arguments in order to try to get her and us to a point of honest communication. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2011 - 38 answers

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